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Megan Neff

COMM 2110

Final Report of Personal Change

Submitted to Sarah Billington

Date Submitted: 5/2/2020

This report is a reflection on my personal change project that was worked on throughout the
course. My goal was to work on my habit of interrupting those who I am having a conversation
with, unintentionally. I applied certain skills from Interpersonal Communication Relating to
Others by Beebe, Beebe and Redmond. These strategies include active listening (pp. 131-132),
implementing and working on my analytical listening style (p. 119), and improving my
responding skills (p. 135). Through out this report, I will review and analyze my experience
with developing skills to relieve my unwanted habit.

 A situation I can look back on when my unwanted communication pattern became

apparent was when I was having a conversation with a coworker. We were deciding on
what to do about a certain project that was expected by our supervisor. We had until the
end of the week to create a presentation with reported data. She was helping me retrieve
data from a software we use, I was recently hired so I did not have a lot of experience
with it. I remember she was trying to show me how to retrieve a certain category, but I
interrupted her with a question that would have probably been answered if I just stayed
quiet. She then lost her train of thought and we had to retrace back to the beginning to
see where we left off.
 Another situation that my habit of interrupting derailed a conversation was when I was
speaking to a friend about her ability to go back to school. She was having a hard time
figuring out what classes to take and I jumped in trying to dictate what she should start
out with. I interrupted her when she was trying to tell me why she was wary of taking a
certain class at that moment. By doing that, she became quiet and held in her feelings of
that bothering her. I did not know I did it in the moment until she brought it up after her
semester started.
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In these situations, my realization of my unwanted habit being an obstacle in my interpersonal

relationship came to the surface. Looking back on these situations, I feel embarrassed that I
acted this way. My active listening, style, and responding skills were not being worked on at this
time. But they are important to practice everyday due to the negative consequences that came
from these situations.

Strategies  

The strategies I planned to implement in my personal journey were active listening, analytically
listening style, and improving my responding skills. From reviewing these strategies, I hoped
that they were the best ones for what I wanted to accomplish.

The first strategy I began to implement was work on my active listening. With the ability to be
present mentally and physically while listening to an individual is so important in the
comprehension and response process. By being able to active listen, I should become better at
empathizing and fully understanding the conversation. Active listening also confirms how the
message affects you, which can give not only the other person but yourself as well, insight into
your emotions (pp.131-132).

With using the active listening strategy, Bebee analyzes how to become a more empathic
listener. This included social decentering and the act of empathizing. It was detailed that it is
important that you stop focusing on your own thoughts and respond actively (p.132).

I believe this was a catalyst in promoting my unwanted communication trait. I already saw a
difference when I began waiting for their side was finished. Once finished, I implemented my
next strategy of improving my responding skills.

With interrupting, I would often misinterpret what the other person was saying. Bebee explains
that being other-oriented is key to providing useful responses (p.135). Following that, asking
appropriate questions is also vital when it comes to my unwanted habit. I found myself often
interrupting with a question that was not even remotely what they were trying to project to me.
With active listening and my thoughtful responses, I can clarify with whomever I speak too to
make sure that I am giving my full attention and empathy.

 
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Constraints  

With this personal journey of trying to change a habit I have had for so long came constraints I
was not prepared for. I found that becoming self-aware with my flaw of interrupting was a blow
to my self-esteem. As soon as I realized that I had been doing this to people I was close with, I
told them that this was a problem I am trying to fix. I also told them to hold me accountable if I
interpret them during our conversations. I found that even when I did interrupt someone, I did
not always catch it right away. That led to a spiral of re-trying and correction by others.

Once I started catching myself, those who I spoke to visibly noticed it. The constraint of felling
embarrassed was hard to get through. Especially, when it came to the workplace interactions.
But I came to the realization that this is all part of the process. It was important for me to be
called out when I mistakenly interrupted someone, that way I could train myself to be mindful.

 
Implementation    

The act of implementing these strategies were the hardest of my personal journey project.
Although, the outcome was what I was most excited to see. Keeping a journal was very
beneficial to see how my progress was being recorded. Writing and coming face to face with the
issue at hand became a goal of becoming mindful.

This communication constraint was affecting all areas of my life. But the most important
relationships I wanted to work on was with my significant other and my sister. By working on
these two relationships would prosper my other interpersonal relationships.

By my implementation I found progress in my everyday communications including work. My

position right now, I currently am on the phone for most my time during the day. In-between, I
will interact with my bosses and coworkers to discuss protocols and cases. When on the phone,
my goal is to give the client exceptional communication to help them with their questions. This
can be an obstacle if I interrupt them when asking a question about their case. I recently had an
experience of a client calling in to ask a question on their case. I mistakenly interrupted them,
thinking I was finishing their sentence correctly. Although, that just lead to a misunderstanding
and clear frustration from the client. I instantly realized what I did and apologized for speaking
out of term and asked them to repeat their question. While they spoke, I actively listened to what
their concern was. Being able to listen with no biased thoughts behind my initial response,
helped keep the conversation on track and receive full comprehension.
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With this goal I wanted to improve in my interpersonal relationships more than anything.
Especially when it came to my partner. We do not argue often, but when we do there are ways I
can work on in this area. Another instance where I was able to consciously implement the above
strategies was when a small argument between my partner and I began regarding finances. In
the past, it was easy for me to butt in with a counterargument in the middle of his sentence. In
this instance, I sat down and listened to what he was saying about how we should move some
things around so that we can pay off a certain debt. In my proposal I mentioned how I would
like to implement my preferred listening style by listening analytically. When I combined the
two strategies of analytical listening with active listening, I found that I our argument turned
quickly into a discussion. Even though, I was feeling overwhelmed by the stressful topic, I was
able to keep a level head and not interrupt him while he was speaking. This helped me create a
helpful response that was valuable towards the situation. I also made it a conversation to ask my
partner what he thought his listening style was, in hopes we can both works together to aid in
each other’s different styles. This is also another way that I work on becoming more other-
oriented.

Results  

My experience overall with implementing these strategies in my everyday life have been a
positive one. By the readings and textbook, topics discussed became an everyday tool that
would inevitably help me reach my goal. One specific accomplishment I have seen is
pseudoconflict has diminished when I am having a conversation. By slowly learning how to
develop healthy communication habits, pseudoconflict became rare. Due to my ability of active
listening, it helped with an individual and my self-misunderstanding the message trying to be
conveyed (p. 217).

Another substantial consequence that unfolded was my goal of keeping progress of my unwanted
communication problem. By recording my weekly experiences with this pattern, I became more
mindful with how I approached conversations. I felt like I had fell into the textbooks phrase of
being an “automatic pilot” (p. 78). The act of being mindful and not mindless was vital in my
progress.

With goals as difficult as changing a habit that you have had for most of your life, there seems to
not be a full completion. There are still improvements that can be made with my communication
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skills but the amount of self-awareness I have compared to the beginning of the course is
substantial.

Recommendations  

I plan to utilize all the strategies I have been implementing for the past couple months. I want to
continue to modify my actions that will only benefit the relationships around me and not hurt
them. I have already seen a drastic change in my relationship with my partner and sister, just by
making changes on my side of communication.

An additional strategy I would like to include in my future, is how powerful words are. Chapter
6 explains how words create perceptions and influence thoughts and actions. It is important to
have a rhythm with conversations and listen to how others feel. Our insecurity and bad feelings
can affect how our interpersonal relationships are developed (p.155). I believe that combining
the listed strategies as well as this one, I can come even closer to becoming a healthy and
efficient communicator.

Works Cited
Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond. (2014). Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. Boston:
Pearson.
Clark. (2014).  Canvas Readings for COMM 2110.  Available at:
https://slcc.instructure.com$WIKI_REFERENCE$/wiki/