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One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic. "What's wrong?"
asks e^x. "There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him
too many times, I'll disappear!"
"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry
about me -- he can't hurt me. After all, I'm e^x."
So e^x walks down the street to the Differential Operator. "My friend tells me
you're a Differential Operator," e^x says pompously. "Well, I'm e^x."
"Pleased to meet you, e^x," says the Differential Operator. "I'm d/dt."
Beginner
3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper?
They must be plotting something.
Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a
date?
A Roamin’ numeral.
Probably.
Algebros.
14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common?
17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?
23. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
24. After a sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the
farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
27. What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?
Quadratic formula.
31. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
33. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative,
trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and
arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees
a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating
the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the
fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall,
sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then
exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.
36.
He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded
to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The
lesson?