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When you have the right opportunity, it offers you a chance to jump
ahead. It’s like finding a secret portal in a video game that allows you to
skip ahead to the next level… or a time-travel device that allows you to
accelerate yourself relative to others.
In the classic Matrix movies, the main character Neo used a portal
that allowed him to enter a special hallway where he could then open a
door into a completely different place. The right opportunity allows you to
do something like this in life. It allows you to accelerate or jump ahead
beyond obstacles.
By using the right idea (business training) with the right marketing
model (the product launch), I was able to “skip ahead” to the next level
rapidly.
Enter: My daughter.
I can see with my own eyes how this either causes sadness or
frustration in her. By going through this a few times, and watching the
cycle, I have had insights about my own childhood, my emotional
wounds, and the ancient animal-level aggression that I carry around
inside.
But with my daughter on the scene, if I got angry and said something
in an angry tone, and it upset her, I knew she didn’t know any better, so it
always left me with something to think deeply about.
That night I had dinner with Annie, and I told her that when I first
walked out I would normally have behaved in a frustrated and critical way
towards her and Love… but that I recognized that they needed my
support, so I calmed myself and did my best to support the family
emotionally by listening and facilitating them through their process
without needing to get my complaint in first. I told her that this was a
triumph for me in my life, because as a child this was something that I
had never experienced, and it was very counter to my instinct and my
triggered reaction in the moment.
I was able to grow and show myself that I could change. My wife was
able to feel supported emotionally. And my daughter received an
experiential, relational imprint of man or masculine-father archetype as
being someone who can self-regulate and co-regulate to support her
through a hard emotional situation. I intend to keep doing this as I
develop through my own process, to have my daughter grow up
experiencing “man” as “able to be a collaborative emotional support” - so
that she naturally has this inner experiential standard set when she grows
up and goes on to attract her own mate in the future.
Situations like these also give me great perspective and insight about
my own parents, and about their parents. Neither of my parents had a
supportive father present as they grew up, which now makes a lot of the
hard things I experienced in childhood make sense. And it gives me
empathy, and allows me to feel appreciation for the good things that
happened to me (like the ultimate gift and opportunity of being born in
the first place, for example).
Because I see marriage, family and parenthood as my opportunity to
do the hard inner work that I kept in the shadow and avoided previously, it
becomes this incredible gift from the universe. It’s a challenging gift, of
course. Being in love and having a family are the hardest things I’ve done
in my life, by far. But they’re also the most rewarding. These really are the
greatest opportunities of my life.
There are moments every once in awhile where I’m so angry that I
feel like leaving. But I remember not to make important decisions while
I’m upset, and after several hours, or sometimes days, my “real self” comes
back. And in that transition I can see where I’m going in my life, and how
these challenges grow me as a person, and cultivate my spirit. I remember
that I’m staying with my wife and my family forever, and then I go and
repair the wounds, and get back to flowing individually and as a family.
Big opportunity is found at the edges. The edge of culture. The edge
of evolution. The edge of acceptability and sometimes even the edge of
legality.
Steve didn’t know when he went to Xerox Parc that he would discover
the graphical user interface and the mouse, which would shape the way
Apple designed all of their technology.
What I find interesting about Steve’s story is the way he moved from
one disparate, yet interesting domain to another… collecting pieces that
would be used in various combinations in future puzzles that he would
assemble to create insanely great products.
When I was 15 years old in a rock bands with my friends, I had no idea
that this would be practice for being on stages later in my life, teaching
people about dating, relationships, marketing and entrepreneurship.
The mind can only hold a few pieces of data at once. This is why
most of the opportunities available in any given moment are invisible -
until you learn how to see them. As you go through this book, insights will
increasingly leap into your mind, and new ideas will appear in your
imagination. Notice how an opportunity is created in an instant, where
there was none a moment before.
Where were those opportunities before you saw them in your mind?
Were they always there, but just invisible? Or was it necessary for you to
add your own imagination to the equation in order to generate them?
What if you only had one day to select between a hundred of these
opportunities? Or an hour? And what if we change the situation, so that
some of the opportunities would double your income and net worth, and
some would triple it, and some would 10x it?
In his book, The Paradox Of Choice, Dr. Barry Schwartz explains that
an increasing number of choices makes us feel happier. But past a certain
threshold, the dynamic begins to reverse, with more choices actually
creating less happiness & a paralyzing effect.
One reason people play the lottery or gamble in casinos (or the stock
market) is because we gravitate to places where we can potentially receive
a big reward without having to do the normal amount of work to get it.
But if you think about it, you’ll see that it’s not just the potential of
getting something for nothing that is so alluring. It’s also the potential of
getting something without having to change, without having to learn
something new, without having to think in new ways, and without having
to get outside of your comfort zone.
Playing the lottery and gambling are not real opportunities for most
people. They are traps. But they are too alluring for most to escape the
temptation. They posses the minds of the people who become addicted to
them, and take not just their money, but their self-esteem, their lives, and
their spirits.
It takes courage to try new things, to put yourself out there, to allow
your thinking to be changed by the process of experimentation, and to
become someone new. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard. But I believe that
it’s the way to find your greatest opportunities in life.
Use these mindsets, models, and methods to light the hidden path of
opportunity that lays before you. Opportunity is both the harbinger and
consequence of change. Since change and evolution are accelerating in
all areas, your future is inevitably filled with opportunities waiting to be
actualized.
Then, one day, someone makes a smaller version, fastens it to the end
of a stick, and creates a spear. Now it can be used at a distance, even
thrown. That’s a pretty big technological innovation. But it took a million
years. And no one was watching the pace of evolution consciously,
anticipating the next thing, and readying their minds and groups of friends
for the moment when the new opportunity would come along, so they
could act on it.
Two phrases you’ve probably heard often are “the only constant is
change” and “expect the unexpected.” These are useful affirmations and
reminders, to keep one eye looking inside the box, and one eye looking
outside the box.
Ray Kurzweil puts it into more rational terms, which I’ll paraphrase
here: Linear change is intuitive. Exponential change is counter-intuitive.
Double exponential change is doubly counter-intuitive.
And it’s one thing to face dramatic change in one area of your life.
But what about dramatic change in multiple areas of simultaneously?
My wife and I have been traveling for over 6 months per year for the
past few years. I have been launching about one new “passion project” per
year. I started two new masterminds in the past two years. My daughter is
4 years old as I write this, and requiring a new level of attention and
intention.
It sounds like a fun life, and it is. But it’s also harder than any other
way that I’ve lived, by far. The stress of packing and moving every month
for half a year is tremendous. My wife and I tend to have more conflict
when we’re in transition. I become more fearful in general when I am in
the middle of several transitions at once.
Because in the future, I believe the change I’m practicing is nothing
compared to what’s coming. So I’m taking all the practice I can get for
acclimatizing to new, sudden changes. We’re moving toward a time
where we can imagine things in our minds, or speak them with our
mouths, and watch as they are created in front of our eyes in real time. I
already introduced you to the Creativerse conception.
Bebop > Country > Rock & Roll > Heavy Metal
In each new style, you can hear the roots of the previous styles, often
combined in new ways, played with new instruments, or produced with
new technology.
I was reading about how the dinnerfork came to exist, and I found it
interesting. Apparently, we developed the carving knife in order to cut
meat. The technique of using two knives emerged, using one knife to hold
the meat and another to cut it. This then led to a knife that had “two
prongs” in order to better secure the meat while you cut with the knife.
This “two-pronged knife” evolved to become the modern fork.
Wherever you find something you like in life, go looking into the
evolutionary history of how this thing or process or experience came to be.
You’ll find a string of interesting discoveries, each taking advantage of a
unique opportunity.
He calls his model “the lightswitch theory” - and the basic idea is that
once eyesight emerged, you either had to evolve rapidly, or face
extinction. If I can see you, and you are my food, then you either need a
powerful defense, or to be able to see as well, or it’s all over. Once the
higher sense of vision emerged, that accelerated evolution by a factor of
10x, it caused a massive increase in the diversity of the emergent living
forms.
The internet is the most important catalyst for the current opportunity
acceleration. It has given us not just new ways to communicate with each
other, but new product and service types (digital products and services),
new marketing methods (digital marketing), new ways to share knowledge
(self-published written, audio, video formats), new collaboration models,
and much more.
Just like animals with sight have a huge advantage over animals who
can’t see, those of us who have “entrepreneurual vision” will have a
magnified advantages over those who don’t.
NOTE: If you are reading this, and would like to learn more about how to
find and create more opportunity in life, go to my website and get a copy
of my book for free (you just pay shipping and handling):
FreeOpportunityBook.com