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Writing better lyrics touch
(notes on Pattison’s
book)
Alexander Massey BA
PGCE MA MSc
E: alexander at
Posted on March 1, 2018 by alexander Posted in oxfordsongwriting
Books, Lyric writing — 2 Comments ↓
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6 Ten minutes only, every morning to wake up the chord substitution chorus
writer for the day, and build muscle [compare Julia collaboration
Cameron ‘The Artist’s Way’] dictionary harmony interview
8 Free associate – go off topic. Let the sentences do
the driving
lyrics melody
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3 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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words.
37 Perfect rhyme: the syllables’ vowel sounds are
the same, consonant sounds after the vowels (if
any) are the same, the sounds before the vowels are
different.
37-9 Explains three consonant families: plosives,
fricatives, nasals. Then argues [unconvincingly for
me!!] that “Family rhyme sounds so close that when
sung, the ear won’t know the difference.” [I have
good ears, and I do know the difference. Even
casual, untrained ears, hear the difference, even
though they may not consciously realise there is a
difference. And the untrained ear will prefer, I
believe, the true rhyme over the ‘family’ rhyme. Part
of the problem is that so many singers are sloppy
and sing the ends of words very lazily, often leaving
off final consonants completely, which is why
something can seem to be a rhyme when it definitely
isn’t.]
40 Subtractive rhyme [NO! Pattison’s rhyme types
are not rhymes, in my view. They are more like
Hammerstein’s ‘euphony’. ‘Assonance rhyme’
seems to be Pattison’s most common ‘rhyme’. It
works more if one can see as well as hear it, and
when there’s time to reflect. But it’s a weaker method
for a heard lyric.]
43 Additive rhyme: fun + lunch [add sounds after
the completed rhyme]
43 Consonance rhyme: fun + on
42 Most to least resolved rhyme [in Pattison’s world
…]: perfect, family, additive/subtractive, assonance,
consonance
44 [An example of Pattison’s ‘rhyme’] “Baby, baby
take my hand / Let me know you’d like to dance.”
[Ugh! The ‘surprise’ as Pattison calls it, is my
disappointment at a non-rhyme. I am dissatisfied
because the lyric fails to deliver sonically. I hear the
non-rhyme rhyme as a lack of conviction on whether
to rhyme or not rhyme, and I feel unsure whether the
two concepts are supposed to be connected or not.
Perfect rhymes connect concepts and complete
ideas; that is their function. Pattison’s versions of
rhyme, which are ubiquitous in modern lyric writing
unfortunately, are all about hedging one’s bets, and
not committing to anything. I have decided to call all
this ‘Pattison’s Rhyme Fallacy’. He says (p.46),
“Pretty neat, huh?’. I say, emphatically, no!]
4 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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6. Productive repetition
5 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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6 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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10. Perspectives
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8 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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completely wrong.]
[Irregular line length or rhythm sets us up to want the
next section to resolve.]
[Avoiding a final rhyme keeps a more open feeling.]
9 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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10 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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element.”
[Pattison goes on to say that this is the same as
‘prosody’, which is nonsense. Prosody is nothing to
do with ‘unity’ or integrity of sound and meaning.
Pattison also describes prosody as “the appropriate
relationship between elements”. This is purely his
invention, and such a definition of prosody cannot be
found in any dictionary or online academic resource.]
[It’s more about the meaning a listener might derive
from voiced sounds and patterns.]
180 Stable v. unstable: “Looking at your sections
through the lens of stability or instability is a practical
tool for creating prosody [sic] because you’ll be able
to use it for every aspect of your song: the idea, the
melody, the rhythm, the chords, the lyric structure –
everything. It governs the choices you make. Ask
yourself: is the emotion in this section stable or
unstable? Once you answer that question, you have
a standard for making all other choices.”
180 “… motion always creates emotion, completely
independently of what is being said. Ideally, structure
should … – support what is being said –
strengthening the message, making it more
powerful.”
180 Five elements of lyric structure: number of lines,
length of lines [number of stresses, or number of
beats, which could include silent ones?] and their
arrangement, rhythm of lines, rhyme scheme, rhyme
type. [Five elements of lyric structure interact with
the larger structure of the song (verse, chorus,
bridge etc.) and the substantive content.]
[I agree, but Pattison’s claims about these are woolly
thinking.]
[Final consonants, or not having one, make a
difference to feeling of the degree of closure.]
180 An odd number of lines is less stable than an
even number.
184 Musical stress should match key word stress
185 Pattison claims that lines 4 and 5 have rhythmic
variations that make little impact. [I disagree. They
make major impact!]
[Rhymes complete. Rhymes connect.]
186 Degree of resolution in rhymes: perfect, family,
additive/subtractive, assonance, consonance.
187 “There are no rules, only tools.”
187 4a-4b-4c-4b 4d-5d-4d-3b
188 “Structure is your film score. Learn how to use it.
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12 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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210 ABBAA
211 AAAX highlights the X, which would be the Title
[or Refrain]
212 Structures can be complete in themselves, but
look for interesting extensions. “Each structure is
what it is, but always keep an eye out for what else it
could become – for what could come next.”
[Rhyme feels a lot like punctuation – all lyrics need
some, not least, because lyrics are a sonic art
form.h]
[Experiment having a stable structure ending with a
stable idea, or an unstable structure ending with a
stable idea.]
[Closure feels stronger when final syllables are on a
downbeat.]
[A rhyme underlines a rhythmic closure if the latter
is present.]
[A fourth, even line closes the pattern, whether it has
5, 4 or 3 stresses.]
[A missing beat, e.g. a missing final beat, makes us
fill it in – as a breath taking us forward, or as a full
stop. Rhyme makes us refer back to its set-up word.]
224 Pattison says that the final line in his example
(‘Nothing left to do but go’) feels unstable, but
doesn’t explain why. [In my view, it is because the
final stressed vowel rhymes, but there is no final
consonant, unlike ‘road’, the word it is supposed to
rhyme.]
224-5 [Pattison’s claims about whether lines feel
stable / unstable, complete, or pushing forward,
seem very subjective, and he seems to have no
objective criteria on which he bases his claims.]
225 ABABAA [satisfying pattern], as are ABACC,
and AABAAB (onp.226), and ABABBA (p.227)
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15 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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phrase.” [line?]
247-8 Pattison claims that a 3 line verse and 4 line
chorus, making 7 lines in all (therefore uneven and
unstable, is stabilised by being followed by a 4 line
bridge, a section with an even number of lines. [This
seems a strange claim. I feel it as an 11 line
structure, uneven, and therefore unstable. Perhaps a
listener’s perception of stability or instability is
influenced by their capacity to perceive larger or
smaller structures.]
249 Pattison suggests that two sections that add up
to an uneven number of lines (eg. odd and even)
means the second, even, section can have a
spotlighted extra line to finish the song. [This seems
to support my comment about p.248, and
undermine’s Pattison’s own claim on that page.]
[V = verse; C = chorus]
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24. Process
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18 of 20 1/21/20, 3:29 PM
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alexander says:
September 12, 2018 at 4:47 pm
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