The world of work is rapidly changing and employees can not depend on having the same

work or the same work conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to
prepare for people to work in the future.

Nowadays, it is increasingly popular for the employees/workers to change jobs frequently/move

often between jobs have job hopping or undergo/endure unstable work conditions. /To the best
of my knowledge, there may be some direct factors that contribute to this phenomenon and also
potential solutions for future workers to tackle this difficult situation./ → Rewrite as follows: To
the best of my knowledge, job-hopping and frequently changing work conditions are caused by a
number of factors, and workers can rely on many methods to overcome the uncertainty these
changes entail.

The first cause to be mentioned is industrialization. Due to the fast- moving pace of
industrialized progress, a considerable number of heavy- labor-intensive/manual jobs are
gradually is graduallygradully replaced by automobile machines. /For instance, in most
construction projects, the proportionpropotion of physical tasks which are takenis taken by
modern robots surpasses that of humans/ → Rewrite as follows: For instance, in most
construction projects, the proportion of manual tasks assigned to robots and machines surpasses
that of humans. Secondly, the impact of technology on the world of work is also absolutely
noticeable. To be more specific, the advent of appearance of latest technological products have
been step by step altering the working environment globally. /Taking some paper work of a
teacher who has taught during 30 past years as an example as in the beginning of her career,
basically all of it them were completed in printed paper, and at present they are mostly done on
computer. / → Rewrite as follows: This change is typified by how teachers do their work. In the
past, most teachers would compose their lessons manually and in paper. Nowadays, much of the
work is done with computers and similar electronic devices.

/Together with understanding the whole scenario here, every employeeemployees should take
immediateimmdiate actions in advance of any sudden change at work./ → To survive in a world
where nothing but change is certain, employees need to understand not only why changes take
place but also how to prepare themselves to make the most of such changes. First of all, it is of
great importance for people to equip themselves with knowledge and soft skills, especially those
that cannot be attained by machines, such as creativity and compassion which are related to how
human’s society operates. /On top of that, eliminating the conservative concepts about life and
growing as well as nurturing an open mindset which helps everyone stay positive and willing to
confront alternatives is even more crucial./ → Rewrite as follows: On top of that,
cultivating/developing an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt will help workers stay
positive amid changes and quickly adjust to new circumstances should they arise.

The world of occupation never stays the same and those that fail to adapt in case people refuse to
adapt, they would be left behind. /However, in the end, there will always be measures to address
this issue, and therey are way more than the two solutions/approaches which are discussed
above. / → Rewrite as follows: There will always be, however, ways to increase people’s
adaptability to new circumstances, and the two formerly discussed approaches are just among the
many measures that allow workers/employees to keep pace with changing work conditions.

(299 words)

Grade Overall Grade: 6.5-7

Task Achievement 6.5-7 Your essay addresses all parts of the task and
all of your main ideas are equally covered and
developed. Your line of reasoning is generally
good. The examples and explanation you give
are relevant and lend support to your
arguments though some sentences are confusing
and therefore need more elaboration or
clarification.

Cohesion and 7 Your essay is well organized, and you also use
Coherence cohesive devices effectively. Your essay
transitions smoothly from one idea/paragraph
to another.

Vocabulary 6.5 You generally have a wide range of vocabulary,

which allows you to discuss the topic at hand
with ease and accuracy. You can paraphrase
relatively well and have a diverse vocabulary
bank at your disposal, which gives you some
flexibility in communicating your ideas.
However, I have noted some inappropriate
word choices/collocation errors in your essay.
There are also certain places in your essay
where you seem to struggle to get your ideas
across and the sentences you wrote are wordy
and awkwardly structured. Therefore, you still
 need to practice more to be able to attain
greater flexibility in language.

Grammar 6.5 Your essay has been primarily marked down

due to inappropriate word choice, agreement
errors, and spelling mistakes. If you can avoid
these mistakes in your essays, you’ll definitely
get a better score in this respect and can have a
higher overall score in the exam.

** Edited version

Nowadays, it is increasingly popular for workers to change jobs frequently or endure unstable
work conditions. To the best of my knowledge, job-hopping and frequently changing work
conditions are caused by a number of factors, and workers can rely on many methods to
overcome the uncertainty these changes entail.

The first cause to be mentioned is industrialization. Due to the fast- moving pace of industrial
progress, a considerable number of labor- intensive jobs are gradually placed by machines. For
instance, in most construction projects, the proportion of manual tasks assigned to robots and
machines surpasses that of humans. Secondly, the impact of technology on the world of work is
also absolutely noticeable. To be more specific, the advent of latest technological products have
been step by step altering the working environment globally. This change is typified by how
teachers do their work. In the past, most teachers would compose their lessons manually and in
paper. Nowadays, much of the work is done with computers and similar electronic devices.

To survive in a world where nothing but change is certain, employees need to understand not
only why changes take place but also how to prepare themselves to make the most of such
changes. First of all, it is of great importance for people to equip themselves with knowledge
and soft skills, especially those that cannot be attained by machines, such as creativity and
compassion. On top of that, cultivating an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt will
help workers stay positive amid changes and quickly adjust to new circumstances should they
arise.
The world of occupation never stays the same and those that fail to adapt would be left behind.
There will always be, however, ways to increase people’s adaptability to new circumstances,
and the two formerly discussed approaches are just among the many measures that allow
workers/employees to keep pace with changing work conditions.