Jennifer Song

Final Love Action

For my “final” love action, I wanted viewers and readers to perceive the importance of

love labor. Specifically, I wanted to encourage others to show their appreciation for those that

are often overlooked. We have appreciation days and weeks for teachers, nurses, volunteers, etc,

which is fantastic, but I’ve never heard of one for janitors or custodians. Even if there is one, it is

not as well-known as the others. Therefore, I wanted to make sure I would show appreciation for

those that operate behind the scenes. In doing so, I hoped the janitor, that I am appreciated of,

will know that he is acknowledged and recognized for his work.

During my first year working at the lab, I was tasked to take down the cardboard boxes

that were piling up. There were probably 50+ boxes of all different sizes that I had to roll down

to the loading dock. Upon arrival, I realized the recycling bins were ~100 feet away from the

loading dock, which was 6 feet above the ground. I knew it would take me a long time to dump

all the boxes, given that I could only carry 2-3 boxes at a time. After my 5th trip back, Raymond

arrived at the loading dock to dump the trash he had collected from all the different labs. He saw

me struggling and instantly offered to help. I thought he would help me carry the boxes and

shorten the number of trips I had to make. Instead, he told me he would take care of the rest. I

was taken aback by his offer: (1) I was a stranger to him. (2) There were still 30+ boxes left. (3) I

could tell he was already very tired from cleaning up. Therefore, I was quick to refuse, but he

was persistent in helping me complete the task. In the end, I thanked him multiple times for his

kind gesture, but knew I couldn’t thank him enough.

The following year, my lab schedule never coincided with Raymond’s. Therefore, I never

got the chance to converse with him more. Fortunately, this year, my schedule did coincide with
 Jennifer Song

his and I have been able to see him around lab. Our encounters are often short, because he has a

lot of labs to cover, but we always make sure to acknowledge the others’ presence and smile.

When Emma brought up the idea of appreciating the underappreciated, I instantly thought

of Raymond and how I couldn’t thank him enough for his loving action and how I wanted to

show my appreciation for his service by getting to know him more. When I first approached

Raymond to ask what his name was, he thought I was asking about a pair of glasses that he

found. Raymond’s English skills are fairly weak, but I managed to understand him throughout

our conversations. I asked if he had a few minutes to talk because I wanted to make sure he was

appreciated and recognized for his hard work. I thanked him once again for that loving action

back in freshman year and told him how that has stuck with me through these past two years. I’m

not quite sure if he understood exactly what I was saying, but he did smile and chuckle, which

made me happy to see. He said he was willing to talk for a few minutes but had to get back to

work quickly. Therefore, I asked him about his family. I immediately saw him grin at the

mention of his children. He has two grown boys that live with him and has been in Seattle his

whole life. I asked how long he has worked here, and he said he has worked as a janitor for over

a decade. I asked about his hobbies and he said he enjoys working on cars. I was intrigued to

know how he had learned to fix cars and he replied back with, “Google!” After that, I didn’t

want to take up too much of his time, given that he had more work to do. I could see how tired he

was as he was constantly wiping off the sweat sliding down his face. I thanked him for his time

and wished him a good and healthy week.

This love action was inspired by a few of the course objectives, topics and readings. The

most important topic that informed this love action was how love is expressed by human people.

Raymond acted with a kind and loving demeanor and I wanted to reciprocate that kindness by
 Jennifer Song

reaching out to him and getting to know him more. I hope he saw our conversation as a loving

act of recognition and appreciation. This topic on how love is expressed ties into Hooks’

definition of love being an action. Raymond’s act was definitely an action, but as I’ve come to

learn in this class, having a meaningful conversation is an action as well and can be loving in

itself. This love action was also inspired by a few readings on love labor and values. I appreciate

Lynch’s distinction of love/care labor and how valuable it is in our society. As Lynch points out,

janitors are poorly paid and have low status, but without these “personal service workers”, our

society would quickly collapse. Lynch helped bring awareness to love/care labor and prompted

me to want to thank the people who do such labor.

I would like to think this love action was a small stepping-stone towards fulfilling the

objective to be conscious of the power of love and the possibility of practicing it in everyday life

through a love ethics. Raymond’s loving action surprised me because I’m so used to the

individualistic culture we encounter in Western societies. This long-standing value we are

ingrained with from a young age prevents us from helping others and acting with kindness. Most

of us are time-sensitive and don’t want to bother taking the time out of our day to help others.

My conversation with Raymond was short, but I hope it wasn’t our last conversation. I would be

interested to learn more about his family values and ideals that prompted him to help me that day

because as Lakoff wrote, “the answer came…from a very unexpected place. It came from the

study of family values.” I wonder if Raymond was raised with loving family values and if that

helped frame how he goes about living his life.

Overall, I think this love action was inspired by self-love. I really enjoyed Hooks’

commentary on self-esteem and how that encompasses the notion of being aware of yourself and

your surroundings. I am very fortunate to have grown up in a privileged family and I’m aware of
 Jennifer Song

that. Therefore, I need to seek awareness of those that aren’t as privileged and fortunate. I

wanted to talk with Raymond and learn not only about who he is, but also seek insight into how

society treats him. After my conversation with Raymond, I felt an urge to learn more about

underappreciated people and communities. I feel like we tend to forget the people who work

behind the scenes are humans as well. They have families and hobbies and our society doesn’t

highlight those loving aspects. My hope is that Raymond went home that day feeling grateful and

appreciated for his great service and, most importantly, his loving identity and values.