Milestone 4: Success and Role of Mindsets

Session Summary

The bond that has been cemented by this time will help in enhancing
the authenticity of discussions. The discussion during this session will
mainly revolve around evolving a definition of success for the group
and the role that a particular kind of mindset plays in shaping one’s
life.

Mentors first pick up the conversation from the second session’s

research task for the mentees. The examples that the group comes up
with, setup the discussion. Mentors probe the reasons behind the
examples, so that they can understand the thought process for each
mentee.

The next activity is for each mentee to imagine being the recipient of
three wishes from a genie. The mentee’s wish list is to be compared to
the examples of success and failure they came up with. Keeping the
correlation in mind between the examples and wish list; the group
comes up with its final definition of success.

Once a definition has been established, the progression is to guide the

conversation to what leads to success and how important it is to have
a certain kind of thought process. The concept of ‘victim – creator’ or
‘mazloom – khudmukhtar’ is introduced here. One of the basic aims of
Rahbar is to influence the thought processes of mentees positively.

Here the mentees understand how a difference in their approach to

everyday events like passing or failing a test, can impact their life
choices and goals. The mentees draw up their responses to any
difficulty that might be confronted in the ‘thought to destiny’ circle that
they discussed in the last session. An example is given to facilitate the
process. The depiction will help in distinguishing clearly between the
two approaches and understanding them.

Session Highlights:

• Definition of success – the group comes up with their own

working definition of the concept based on their discussion

• Quiz

• Role of mind sets – victim creator model

Discussion: Success & Failure – 30 Minutes

Objective: To identify and highlight examples of success and failure

that mentees can relate to as well as identify with.

Description: Mentors and mentees share their stories of

individuals they know, who fit their criteria of success and failure (on
the basis of the tentative definition they came up with in session 2).

The reasons behind the examples should also be discussed and

highlighted to emphasize the importance of thought processes in this
respect. Mentors can facilitate this discussion by quoting examples
they know. The group debate on the examples highlighting the
possible reasons for why the individuals are successful yet unhappy or
vice versa. If they are both successful and content; then the discussion
can evolve on the possible reasons for that.

Discussion: Definition of Success – 10 Minutes

Objective: To have the group come up with a final concrete definition
on the basis of the earlier definition and discussions
regarding examples.

Description: Mentors and mentees together decide what they

mean by success, after they have discussed the examples of others
and described their own desires. The correlation between the two
would facilitate in coming up with a practical definition that is not
solely based on idealistic notions. This definition should be noted down
by the whole group. It should be as short, simple and as easy to
remember as possible.

Activity: Quiz – 20 Minutes

Objective: To reinforce the ‘thought to destiny’ circle with the help of

a quiz.

Description: The group participates in a quiz where the mentors

are the quiz masters; correct answers are rewarded with
sweets/chocolates. Some questions which could be used for the quiz
are given below:
1. Name four sports heroes of Pakistan
2. What comes after ‘soach’ in the circle?
3. Who is Dr. Abdul Qadeer Khan?
4. Does it take days/months or years to change ‘aadat’?
5. Name one country on the East of Pakistan and one on the West
6. Which two things help the ‘soach’ in becoming a part of one’s
‘harkat’?
7. If you combine red and blue, what color would you get?
8. How many months in the year have 31 days?
9. Which year did Pakistan win the one day cricket world cup?
10. What makes up our ‘kirdar’?
11. Who wrote the national anthem of Pakistan?
12. Which two things help shape our ‘kirdar’ into our ‘taqdeer’?
13. Who sang ‘Dil Dil Pakistan’?
14. Complete the verse: “Khudee ko kar buland itna ke har taqdeer se
pehlay
15. Which city was the capital of Pakistan before Islamabad?

Other questions, riddles, tongue twisters can also be used in the quiz.
Mentors can make it as creative as they want. A bell/ buzzer/ whistle
can be used to facilitate the quiz.

Activity: Victim – Creator / ‘Mazloom – Khudmukhtar’ Model –

40 Minutes

Objective: To understand the concept of victim and creator; with how

a difference in approach or perception has an impact on
bigger life choices and goals.

Props: The victim – creator hand out with the ‘thought to

destiny’ circle

Description: Mentors would need to explain the concepts first, so

that there is clarity in the mentees’ minds. Any of the following
examples or any other can be used to define the model. The ‘thought –
destiny circle’ is the underlying theme here; the same steps are
replaced with what each step would look like with respect to the
example chosen to highlight it.
• I failed my test.
• I don’t have money for higher education.
• I get lost in a new place and I don’t know where to go.
• I am getting married after Matriculation
 • Due to my financial situation, I have to start work after Matric.

The mentees would need to come up with the answers for each step
with the help of their mentors (one such example is given here to
facilitate).

The mentors can use the black board or a chart to draw this up and
through an interactive process; the group can follow both lines of
thought (victim and creator) to understand which approach would be
more effective and how to avoid the other. Each mentee then comes
up with his/her example and draws it in the journal or a separate chart
so that it is understood well.

The session ends with a brief conversation about the next session’s
highlights. Mentors introduce the ‘hero speaker’ concept and how they
will be listening to an individual describe his/her own life struggles and
triumphs.
 Victim
WHY DID I FAIL?
The teacher is against me,
I cant do anything now

weeks
Wastes
life
Drops out of
School & joins a
gang
Creator
mon
WHY DID I FAIL?
I didn’t study enough,
negative, unsure
need & harder
to work Blam
unhappy angry
Self
confidence weeks
goes down Hopeful Wastes time &
and energy
Completes
optimistic
schooling & sets
about life
realistic goals
mo

Acce
Positive & happy in hi