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Growth Through Discipleship

Close your eyes and pick a time in your life to reflect on. Maybe middle school or high

school or even just last year. (pause) What things were you into at that time? (pause) Who were

your friends? (pause) What was your relationship with God like? (pause) Now, think of specific

memories. (pause) How did you interact with people in those memories? (pause) Think about

more specifically some oof moments. Moments that make you cringe every time you think of

them. You know the ones. We all have them. (pause). Now, place your current self in those same

moments. Would you act differently? (pause) Do you think you’ve grown into a better person

since that time? (pause) In what ways? (pause). Has your relationship with God changed?

(pause) Have you gotten closer to Him or farther away? (pause) Okay, you may open your eyes.

Growth: the process of developing or maturing physically, mentally, or spiritually. I don’t

know about you, but I definitely can see how much I’ve grown since my cringey awkward

middle school days, my high school days, and even just last year. Specifically, I can see how

much I’ve grown in my relationship with God.

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Abby Herwaldt. I am a senior

studying marketing and I transferred into Loras last year from my local community college. I

have four siblings, three older and one younger and two brother-in-laws. I really want to be an

aunt but I’m still waiting on that one. It’s fine. I also have two amazing parents. My dad was a

youth minister my entire life and for those of you who don’t know what that is, he would

basically lead Catholic youth groups, retreats, and camps for mostly high school kids. My mom

also worked for the church for a time and has volunteered a lot for them. So, as you can probably

guess, I grew up Catholic. You could almost say I grew up in a literal church because I would be

there most days of the week because of all the activities my family was a part of. I was also
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homeschooled through 8th grade so church was pretty much the only place I went to outside of

my house….jk guys I wasn’t THAT sheltered.

Now, you may be thinking, “Abby, you literally grew up in church. How could you say

your spiritual life has grown? It was probably up here your entire life!” Haha noooooo. Trust me.

It was not like that. Sure, my Catholic faith has been a part of my identity since I was born but I

didn’t really decide to start a personal relationship with God until middle school. Before then, I

was just going through the motions. Have you ever felt like that? (pause) You just know what

you’re supposed to do and say and so you just do it but it’s not personal at all? That was my life.

So what changed? Now, I know some people are able to pick out a specific moment in

time where they encountered God and then they converted. I don’t have one of those stories.

Growth isn’t always a dramatic change. A lot of times its gradual. Just like when you reflected

about a past moment a little while ago and then compared it to your current self, you probably

saw a change but it had happened overtime. Without some reflection, you wouldn’t have noticed.

But, here’s how my story goes. Since I was a youth minister’s kid (or a YMK as we like

to call ourselves) I grew up going to this middle school catholic summer camp that my dad

would help run. I watched as my older siblings were able to attend it as campers and then

became high school counselors. They talked so highly of it and I got to see how much fun it was

when I went for visits. When I was finally in the 6th grade, I was so excited to go. I thought I was

so cool because I knew the ins and outs of the camp unlike the other kids. But, little did I actually

know what I would learn there. I can’t tell you any specific speaker that spoke or a moment I had

but after that camp, my relationship with God became personal.

I had realized that God doesn’t just want me to believe that he’s real and do all the things

I was told I’m supposed to do. He wants a relationship with me personally. He wants to know
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everything about me. My hopes, fears, the good moments and the bad. Not only that, but he

wants me to get to know him personally as well. And hey! Guess what? He wants that for you

guys all sitting right here as well! That’s pretty cool if you stop and think about it. God the

almighty father who created every living thing, including yourself, wants YOU to have a

personal, deep, relationship with Him. Now, this isn’t something that can happen just like that.

Just like with any relationship you have, you can’t go from strangers or even acquaintances to

someone you would pour your heart out to in just one moment. That’s something that develops

and grows over time. It takes a lot of patience and dedication, but God is in it for the long haul,

aka eternity so we can be too.

Okay, so we know that God wants a personal relationship with us and that this will take

time. Good. But….what does that look like? I mean, we all call ourselves Christians, or followers

of Christ, so what does that even mean? What does it mean to you to follow Christ? (pause)

In Luke 14: 26, Jesus says, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and

mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be

My disciple [and then I’m gonna skip to verse 33]. Everyone of you who does not renounce all

his possessions cannot be my disciple.” Oof! Clearly, from this passage, Jesus is telling us that

following him means that we need to keep our priorities straight. When I first read this passage, I

was like, “okay, God can’t really be asking us to hate our families in order to follow

him….doesn’t seem really Christian” but what he’s trying to get at is that we need to put God

first in our lives. Just like the first commandment: Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Jesus is saying that a disciple must love Him more than their family, friends, or any of their

possessions. Jesus should always come first, others are second, and yourself is last. You are last.

Isn’t that so hard? God is asking you to think of yourself LAST. If you want to be a disciple of
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Jesus, you must be willing to put God before everything else and then to be self-less, to sacrifice

for others.

The passage in Luke is not the only time Jesus mentions this. Another of the many

examples is in Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus answers some Pharisees by saying, “You shall love the

Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the

greatest and foremost commandment. The second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as

yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the prophets.”

Jesus first. Others second. Yourself last.

How can we put Jesus first in our lives? (pause) What that looked like for middle school

me was starting to pray on my own and paying closer attention in Mass by thinking about what it

was that I was actually saying. As life went on, I slowly matured in my faith journey, bringing

Jesus closer and closer to the top of my priority list. In middle school, I went to youth group

rallies and the summer camp every year. In high school, I started going to youth group,

conferences, and joining retreat teams. My friends called me retreat girl because of how many

retreats I would invite them on. They would not be surprised to hear that I was on Antioch right

now. Throughout that time of being an active member in youth ministry, I learned a lot about

myself and how important God was to me, how I could hear his voice speaking to me. I learned

what areas in my life that I put before God. Whether it was sleep, Netflix, homework, or

choosing to put my immediate desires before what God knows is best for me. You know, things

that keep you from praying to God every day or things that turn you away from him. I still

struggle with this, so don’t start thinking that I’ve got it all figured out. But, what are some

things in your life that you put before God? (pause)

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As those quotes from Jesus stated, in order to be grow as a disciple of Christ, not only do

we need to develop a solid relationship with Jesus and to love him first, but we know that loving

Jesus also means to love others. Jesus first. Others second. As Jesus says in Matthew 24:34-46

(this one is a long one so bear with me), “Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come,

you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of

the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a

stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison

and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you

hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and

welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit

you?’ And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of

these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from

me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and

you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no

welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for

me.’ Then they will answer and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger

or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’ He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say

to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ And these will go

off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

You can love God by loving others. Loving others means putting their needs before your

own. Jesus first. Others second. Yourself last. It’s about those times when you’re studying for a

test and your friend snapchats you because they need to vent about whatever is going on in their

lives and you choose to stop studying for a little bit to make sure your friend feels heard, loved,
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and comforted. It’s about those times when you see someone carrying a lot of things and you

choose to offer to help them. It can be even smaller things like complimenting that stranger with

the sick shoes or my personal favorite: just smiling and waving at someone as I walk by. As St.

Mother Theresa once said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with

great love.”

To put it in another perspective, think about a time when someone has shown you love.

How did that make you feel? (pause). It felt great didn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to experience

that? I know I feel so loved when one of my roommates checks in to see how I’m doing or when

someone goes out of their way to help me, etc. Just last week, there was this guy on crutches

walking into the same building as me. I held the door open for him, but then at the next set of

doors, he held them open for me instead with his foot. He did not have to do that. I wasn’t even

that close to him at that point. Let’s all choose to spread love. Let’s choose to build each other up

instead of tear each other down. Again, this can be done even in small ways. What are some

ways you can put others before yourself at Loras? (pause).

Okay, so to recap: being a Christian means to be a disciple or follower of Jesus which

then means we should be putting Jesus first, others second, and ourselves last. Piece of cake?

Unfortunately for all of us, no. We all wish that our growth curves were always moving

positively upward or even just straight up would be cool but I’m sure I’m not the only one who

has experienced plenty of ups and downs during my faith journey. One of the ways my dad likes

to describe your faith journey is by using the example of walking up a downward moving

escalator. In order to grow closer to Christ, you have to keep pushing yourself up the escalator.

You have to keep putting forth more and more effort. If you keep at the same pace, you won’t

move any further or any closer. And then finally, if you stop where you are, you end up moving
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farther away from God. We aren’t perfect. There are times where we will slip down the escalator

a little and other times where we will leap up with new fervor. It is all a part of learning and

growing in discipleship with God. What we should be careful of is how far we let ourselves drop.

About three years ago, I let myself drop far down the escalator. My dad was diagnosed

with ALS which is an incurable, terminal illness that attacks the muscles. In three years, he went

from being a full-time youth minister who was healthy to being “retired”, barely able to move

any part of his body, even to keep his own head up, unable breathe for very long on his own, and

completely reliant on my saintly mother to be his caregiver. When he was first diagnosed, I was

a freshman in college at my local community college and my entire world was flipped upside

down. I was angry at God for letting something so horrific happen to someone who has given his

whole life to serving him. I lost my trust in God that somehow any good would come from this. I

essentially dropped all the way back down to where I was in middle school. Just going through

the motions. I didn’t disbelieve God’s existence but I found no interest in a personal relationship

with him. I saw no point in prayer. I went to Mass and prayed with my family every night but

was again just going through the motions.

My parents, on the other hand, stayed true to their commitment to discipleship with

Christ. God was still first in their lives and their hope and trust in God became stronger than ever

because it was all they had left. My mom puts my dad’s needs before her own every second of

the day while my dad whose motto is to serve others, has had to humble himself and let others

serve him instead. My siblings and I have really learned what it means to love someone else, to

put their needs before our own as well. But for me, the whole putting God first thing was a no.

But, obviously something had to change or I wouldn’t be standing here. Well, my church

had this amazing married couple who wanted to lead a bible study for college aged kids who
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were at home. I had joined it earlier that school year and so I continued to go. The people in bible

study with me were so on fire with their love for Christ that I started to get jealous of them. I

wanted what they had but I was stuck in this internal war with God and my spiritual darkness. It

took a long time, but because of their example and the example my parents set with their

steadfast faith in Christ, I slowly let God back into my personal life. I kept striving to regain my

relationship. I had a lot of baggage to go through and had many tear-filled conversations with

God, but let me tell you, I don’t regret it. When I sit in adoration, I feel a deep sense of peace and

joy that I don’t feel anywhere else but in the presence of God. I’m still working my way back up

the escalator to where I was, but this time, I am climbing with a more solid foundation. I know

that good or bad, God is there with me. Was there ever a time in your life where you dropped

down on your faith escalator? (pause) Where are you now? (pause)

I hate to break it to you all, but being a disciple of Jesus is hard. Not impossible, but

really hard. Being a disciple of Jesus isn’t something you can just be whenever is most

convenient for you. We can’t have one foot in the door like, “Yeah I’m being a disciple”, but our

other foot out the door just in case it gets too hard, so we can be like, “Never mind, Peace out!”

No, Jesus wants our full commitment and complete dedication. He wants us to be all in. He

wants us to jump into the deep-end. No toe-dipping and then running away because it is too cold.

It’s hard guys. It is hard to be fully committed to God when it is much more convenient

not to be. It is hard when there are pressures from society to put ourselves first and that believing

in God is foolish. It is hard when there are so many things distracting us from keeping God first.

There are some days in my life when I am so busy doing homework, participating in several

clubs, surfing social media, hanging with my friends, and watching Netflix that I forget to stop

and take the time to pray and before I know it, I am asleep! At the time, I felt that scrolling
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through Instagram before bed was more worth my time than praying. Instead, I could have

stopped to pray and scrolled through Insta the next day. Being a fully committed disciple is hard

and we all fail sometimes. Just because we fail, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep trying. God also

isn’t just gonna sit there and watch us fail over and over again. If we ask him, He will help us

jump over the obstacles we are facing.

God knows that being his disciple is difficult and that’s why he wants us to really think

about what it means to be a true disciple before we commit ourselves. Yep, that’s right. You

have a choice. God has called each and every one of you by name to follow him, just like he did

with each of his Apostles. You can freely choose to accept his invitation or decline. Will you

take the easy route and choose to not be his disciple, or accept the challenge? Now, before you

make your decision, I have one last thing to tell you. Remember that I said that a disciple is

putting Jesus first, and what letter does Jesus start with? J! Others second, What does Others start

with? O! And Yourself last. What does Yourself start with? Y! What does that spell? JOY! If

you choose to live as a disciple of Jesus, you will live a life filled with JOY!

Thank you 