men and..

Male Energy

Graham Phoenix
malexperience.com

Male Energy by Graham Phoenix - malexperience.com

This ebook is free, share it under the terms of
creative commons attribution 3.0 license.
© 2010 Graham Phoenix
Table Of Contents

What to Expect?
The Legend of the Phoenix and the Dragon
Male Energy
Male Energy Inside Us
Archetypes of Male Energy
The Importance of the Phoenix and the Dragon
Is This You?
The Four Rules of Masculinity
 “How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right
expression.”

(D.H. Lawrence)
the world of men and What To Expect?
masculinity

This eBook is the first in a series,
‘men and..’, an introduction to the world of
men and masculinity. There are many good
men in this world but not enough who
ap p e a r t o b e c o n fi d e n t i n t h e i r
masculinity, who appear to be present and
in their power. By this I mean men who know who they are,
what their place in the world is and who can take anything the
world throws at them. Men who are grounded and who stand
like rocks while the world swirls around them. Men who are
focused and determined, who achieve their vision.
 re-awakened men,
But don’t think this means men who are dominant and
who have compassion,
aggressive, men who achieve no matter what it means to
who understand
others, men who sweep others out of the way, men who push
their way through by trashing others. I mean evolved men,
men who I call re-awakened. Men who have compassion, men
who understand, men in touch with their emotions, but men
strong in their masculinity, men who are men.

So what drives these men, what makes them who they
are? This ebook will show you that a key element behind them
is their ‘Male Energy’. Their life energy drives them forward,
gives them their edge, makes them men.

But first a story about some mythological creatures.
 Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to
test a man's character, give him power.

(Abraham Lincoln)
 the duality of The Legend of The Phoenix and The Dragon
the phoenix and
the dragon
The duality of the Phoenix and the
Dragon has similarities to the balance of
Yin and Yang. It symbolises the union of
opposites, the eternal circle. It reminds us
that there is always another view, another
way.

Recently I had my left arm tattooed with a Phoenix. I have
wanted this for a long time because it is my name and because
it is a symbol of renewal, a symbol of my life. Afterwards I felt
uncomfortable and out of balance. It didn’t feel right, but it
didn’t feel wrong, more incomplete.
 the phoenix
So I had my right arm tattooed with a Dragon. Now I felt
rises from the ashes
complete, in balance. Now I felt the energy flowing in my
body. Why was this?

The Phoenix is a mythical bird
which consumes itself by fire every 500
years. A new young Phoenix springs from
the ashes, renewed, re-juvenated. It is a
symbol of the sun rising every morning, of
plants growing, of life always re-appearing
out of death and decay. It represents the
cycle of life, it shows there always hope,
there is always a solution.
 the dragon
Legend has it that the Phoenix lands on nothing but the
a symbol of creativity
greatest treasures. It is the highest-ranked bird in China and
represents good luck and Female Energy. It is strongly
connected with peace, it never harms anything, rather its
powers of healing and regeneration bring an end to suffering.

The Dragon, a legendary reptilian
monster, is deified in the Taoist religion
and was the national emblem of the
Chinese Empire.

Among the Chinese people, the
Dragon is traditionally regarded as a
symbol of creativity and good fortune.
 the dragon
It represents Male Energy. It symbolises success in any
connects to
achievement as well as prosperity.
the core of
male energy
The Dragon is a positive force, representing power,
excellence, and striving for goals, as well as being a benevolent
force, which radiates goodwill, good luck, and blessings.

Although the Phoenix represents re-birth and renewal for
me it does not connect me with my male energy. It, rather,
connects me to the elements of female energy I have within,
elements that are essential to my existence. I need the
Dragon to connect me to my core, to my essence, to my male
energy. I need to feel that flow within me, I need to feel the
pulsating energy pushing me and focusing me.
i need the dragon
I need to feel the strength of my maleness deep inside
but i also need
me, like a volcano fighting to get out, wanting to hold the
the phoenix
world in my hands, needing to be. I need my male energy to
connect with and encompass the female energy in the world.

I need the Dragon, but I also need the Phoenix.

It is important that I understand the strength of my male
energy, my masculinity. I need to know how far I can go, I need
to see the effect of what I do.

This does not emasculate me or my power, it, perversely,
gives me more power. My compassion takes me to places I
would otherwise avoid, my understanding lets me do things I
otherwise wouldn’t.
 “Male and female represent the two sides of the
great radical dualism. But in fact they are
perpetually passing into one another. Fluid
hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no
wholly masculine man, no purely feminine
woman.”

(Margaret Fuller)
male energy is Male Energy
life force

So what is male energy? What is
this force inside? What is this core, this
essence?

For a man it is the life force itself. It
sits, like a Dragon, deep down in the first
chakra, at the base of his body, deep in the
heart of his sexuality. It sits waiting to be released, waiting to
be unleashed. It is ever-present, always waiting for its moment,
always ready. It controls the flow of energy in a man’s physical
body and influences his emotions, his mind and his spirit. From
it’s centre in the physical it’s power is strong.
 in the body male
In the physical body male energy is all powerful. It creates
energy is all powerful
our strength and gives us our edge. It is inside the
testosterone fueled hardness in the body. It builds our
muscles, gives us our stamina, allowing us to continue through
difficulty and stress. It drives our sexuality, creating the
powerful need to empty out our bodies. It grows inside us,
filling us, pushing its way to every part of us. We vibrate and
tingle as the energy takes over.

It takes over our emotions throwing us through love,
anger, fear and mixing them up until we don’t know what we
feel any more. They twist and tangle, dragging our body with
them, turning us inside out.
male energy invades
It invades our mind, racing through our thoughts and
our minds and fuels
turning them in on themselves. It plays tricks on us, making us
our spirit
feel immense and all-powerful, thinking we are God, thinking
we are it.

It fuels our spirit as we melt into the great unknown. We
become part of the universe, we become the universe. We are
one with everyone and everything, we are everything. We see
the truth and we are it.

We empty out, complete, finished. We are broken on the
back of the energy raging through us. We pant, our blood
races through our bodies. It is over, but inside our male
energy reigns supreme, we are gods.
 “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be
the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my
femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always
over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life,
his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the
command, my pivot. I don’t mind working,
holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but
as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be
dominated.”

(Anais Nin)
male energy gives us Male Energy Inside Us
fire in our bodies

Male energy gives us fire in our
bodies creating strength through its
furnace. It looks after the needs of our
bodies keeping them sharp and ready. We
crave security, learning to defend
ourselves or flee. Our energy creates a
shield to keep us safe and protect us. It feeds our desire and,
powerfully, creates a species, peoples a world. It is the source
of control over ourselves and over others. We sublimate the
energy into self-contained power, making us fierce and
unbeatable, we control the world around us.
our emotions feed on
Our emotions feed on our energy and open us up to
our male energy
awareness. We know who we are, we know what we are. We
see the world around us and we feel its power. We experience
our emotions even when we don’t know what they are, where
they are taking us. Male energy teaches us love, love for
ourselves, love for our children, love for our lover. We
experience the breadth and depth of this love. We are led to
relationships, to connections with others, to give ourselves
away, to share our hearts and our souls. These emotions are
inside us and are real. We feed on them and grow with them.
We become giants in our families. We love them and are true
to them. We see ourselves as part of them, yet we are alone,
individual and all-powerful.
 our inspiration flows
Male energy is in our minds and our thoughts. It drives
from our male energy
our intelligence and enables our genius. We communicate with
others and feed off their minds and desires. We have faith in
ourselves and in our answers. We have faith in our abilities, we
have faith in our power. Our insight helps us to see where we
are and what we are doing. It shows us the road ahead and
the direction we must take.

Male energy is inside our spirit, inside our connection
with the Universe. Our inspiration flows easily from its
embrace, propelling us onwards to even more greatness and
success. Inside our soul is the kernel which is our strength,
our energy. Ultimately our male energy is our spiritual energy.
we need to re-awaken
Male energy is the vehicle of our focus and
ourselves and realise
accomplishment. It analyses the obstacles we face, overcomes
our potential
them, and moves us towards our goal, ignoring all distractions.
It is expressed when we have a clear direction in life, a definite
purpose, and are moving towards it with confidence.

We are supreme in our abilities. We are continuing the
human race and developing civilisation. Our growth and our
development is key to the survival of the world, key to the
survival of the species.

Our need to re-awaken ourselves to live this life, to be
this dream is paramount. Our need to grow and realise our
potential is crucial to our sanity and key to our future.
 “If you're a dad, what kind of mark are you
leaving on your children, especially your sons? Do
you realize that your little boys are watching you
like hawks? They're trying to figure out what
maleness is all about, and you're their model.”

(Bill Hybels)
 the magician is self- Archetypes of Male Energy
confidence, creativity
and determination
To better understand the depth of
male energy it is worth looking at some
examples of archetypes. It is reflected in
various archetypes showing the evolved
nature of men. Archetypes are the basic,
enduring characteristics that live in
stories, myths and images. Archetypes live in all of us, we act
them out everyday.

The Magician has qualities of self-confidence, creativity,
determination, willpower, self-control, skill, craft, purposeful
action, energy, activity and vitality.
the king is a powerful
Through the Magician we can see the drive to choose our
male influence of
own direction, to realise our higher true self.
power and authority

The Magician shows the evolved man in tune with his will
and intention, creating and materialising new possibilities. He
shows the skills and creative gifts that have not been used yet.
He is our inner guide, our infinite inspiration to work for the
higher good, using our magical powers of intention, will and
creativity.

The King represents a very powerful male influence, one
of power and authority. The King shows the characteristics of
self-discipline, organisation, stability and using action as the
path to fulfillment.
 the king is a mature
The King is a mature, strong, regal man full of confidence
man full of confidence
and wisdom. He is the strong-willed, benevolent patriarch. He
and wisdom
is the Ruler, the Father and the Monarch. He has a strong
foundation in, and awareness of, his world, so he can bring
others to him and create order.

The King speaks with a calm and reassuring voice, full of
encouragement and empowerment. He is the ultimate
patriarch without the oppressive qualities of patriarchy. He is
full of benevolent power. The King is the embodiment of
mature, masculine heart and strength. He is the capacity to
reach our full potential. Through him we know what we want
and how to get there.
 the priest represents
When used negatively, for power, the King shows an
the masculine, the fire
overbearing and insensitive side, one that reeks of the
of the soul
negative stereotypes of the male influence. These stereotypes
show how male energy can be mis-used and go wrong.

The Priest represents the orthodox and conventional
teacher, counsellor or advisor. He speaks of moral, religious
and social conventions in a positive and stabilising sense. He
reminds us to contemplate the idea of tradition, and honour.
He urges us to examine our beliefs and faith, to test them in
the arena of life. We are told to trust our hearts as the seat of
our strength. The Priest explains the mysteries and represents
the masculine, fire, or sun aspect of the soul.
 the hermit represents
The Hermit represents reflection, solitude and
reflection, solitude and
introspection. We need to retreat in order to establish inner
introspection
balance. The Hermit suggests ways that are unorthodox, that
may be unwelcome. He represents the deep heart of the true
seeker of truth and light. He is comfortable with himself and
does not depend on others for recognition or comfort. He is
just as happy to be on his own. He disdains superficial
interactions or relationships.

The Martyr represents change and sacrifice. He shows
the spirit cloaked in strength, fortitude and endurance, the
provider willing to sacrifice his own needs for the good of the
tribe or family.
 the martyr leads to
The Martyr’s sacrifice ultimately leads to spiritual and
spiritual and emotional
emotional fulfillment. He leads to transformation after going
fulfillment
through a "dark night of the soul". He points out all of the
inherent beliefs, values, blocked thought patterns and
limitations that stop us from truly becoming transformed. He
shows us what we need to give up or rise above in order to
evolve. He shows us how to move out of a rut, out of
stagnation into renewed development.

The Warrior is the classic hero, a protector and a
rescuer. Warriors allow us to release ourselves from the past,
especially the past that has inhibited or scarred us. They show
us how to grasp the future and win.
the warrior is focused,
The Warrior is symbolic of clean breaks. He is an
full of intent and
explorer, traveling into the unknown to provide for those back
purpose
home. Traversing new lands and bringing back gifts and new
knowledge. He is focused, full of intent and purpose. He is the
one who fights for us, who defends us and keeps us safe. He
puts his life on the line for, he stands up for us.

The Lover is the centre of male power. He is present and
grounded but he encompasses the full range of passion
inherent in male energy. He holds the power and the
compassion. He loves and he enters with power and force,
meeting his needs and those of his women. He is a Warrior
and a King.
 male energy is a
His strength is unbeatable, he will love and defend his
strong, creative force
woman to the death while he holds her with gentleness,
caring for her. He encompasses her female energy and gives
her freedom to fly and spin and whirl and be a woman.

When male energy is dignified, it is strong, noble and full
of promise. However, if used for power and domination, it
represents the opposite, male weakness, deception and abuse.

The male energy is outwardly focused. It is a strong,
creative force. It is natural to the male energy to be highly
focused and goal-oriented. It creates individuality. The male
energy separates from the One, from the Whole and stands
alone, individual.
 “ C o u ra ge m e a n s t o ke e p w o r k i n g a
relationship, to continue seeking solutions to
difficult problems, and to stay focused during
stressful periods.”

(Denis Waitley)
 the phoenix and the The Importance Of The Phoenix And The Dragon
dragon represent re-
awakened men
For me the symbol of the Phoenix
and the Dragon also represents the
evolved nature of ‘Re-Awakened Men’. It
represents the duality that exists in strong
men. It highlights the fact that he has
female energy in him as well.

He does not hide in this energy, he does not exploit it. It,
rather, informs his male energy, it rounds off the corners. It’s
what gives him his power. He is strong through his
compassion, but his strength and presence make him stand
out as a man. So remember the Phoenix and the Dragon.
 “The woman's mission is not to enhance the
masculine spirit, but to express the feminine;
hers is not to preserve a man-made world, but
to create a human world by the infusion of the
feminine element into all of its activities.”

(Margaret Thatcher)
i was not allowed to Is This You?
be myself

Is any of this you? Do you see
yourself here? Is this real? Does this mean
anything to you? Probably not! It certainly
wasn’t me for most of my life. I never even
saw this as an ideal. This was for others,
sportsmen, film stars, men of vision. I was
not brought up to be like this. I was brought up to fit in, to
conform. I was taught not stand out, not to be powerful. I
learnt anger and frustration. I learnt to be dissatisfied and
confused. I was moulded by the desires of my parents and my
peers, I was not allowed to be myself.
you can re-awaken the
This, or similar, may be your story. We all adapt to those
male energy deep
who influence us, we all conform. We all find our way of
inside you
adapting to the world, to others.

This can change. You can re-awaken the male energy
inside you, your core. You can find that primeval energy that
drives us deep down, very deep down. You can re-assert
yourself and become what you were always meant to be. You
can grow and find your authentic self.You can become you.

Follow ‘Male eXperience’ and read stories of those men
whose Vision helped them through. Read about what women
think of men. Read about what does and doesn’t work. Find
out how to find you.
 “The freedom of authentic masculinity is an
amazing thing to see. It produces a "divine
elasticity" in men. Finally they can lead with
firmness, then submit with humility. They can
challenge with a cutting edge, then encourage
with enthusiasm. They can fight aggressively for
just causes, then moments later weep over
suffering.”

(Bill Hybels)
The Four Rules of Masculinity

These are my four rules of masculinity. Live by them.

1. Own Your Own Power:
Masculinity is based on the realisation of your own power
and using it with compassion.

2. Be Confident:
Masculinity is measured by the size of your certainty. Men
know and men act; men are focused and clear in their
objectives.



3. Be Strong:
What makes a man a man is that he is centred. His reliability
comes from maintaining his direction and and passing his
certainty on to others.

4. Be Present:
Exude an aura of authenticity, be in the moment. Take risks
and maintain connection with others, no matter it seems to
cost you.
 “Masculinity is not something given to you, but
something you gain. And you gain it by winning
small battles with honor.”

(Norman Mailer)
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