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Teen mom
Special edition
Alexa Perez
December 2010
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Table of Contents
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The beginning of a WoMan of Many Faces
to play various roles in order to survive in the society we live in. I am a mother first,
but I am also a financial provider, educator, student, sister, and daughter. My story
is not uncommon where I was raised. I grew up in Washington Heights and became
a mother at the age of fourteen. Many young girls were becoming and are still
becoming teenage mothers not only in my neighborhood, but all over the country.
The balance between motherhood and work has not been easy, but despite my many
Being Latina possesses two strikes against me, one for being part of a
minority group and two for being female. Being a Female in general, we come
across many disadvantages especially when coupled with being a teenage mother
and a low social status. However, there are certain that can be avoided, one being
believe that if parents felt more comfortable speaking with their children about sex
and proper protection then the outcome would be lower rates of teenage
pregnancies.
brother and a Yorkie dog. The key toward my daily success relies heavily within the
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support of my brother and children. I like to preach this to them “we each have a
job to fulfill and I personally have made many sacrifices to get to where we are
today, therefore your complaints do not take away what has to be done, so just do
it.” This sounds harsh but if I am not stern with them and myself it would be
was very militant and his daughters were not allowed to date. My mother got
married at a young age because she wanted to become independent from her
parents. Therefore she married in order to start a new life with freedom and not
face as much limitations. However she became a widow after the age of twenty
when my father passed away and I was only a one year old baby. My mother was
faced with being a single parent and she was forced to have my grandparents
support her and help her raise me. This made a huge impact on her parenting skills
never allowed my daughter to have had a boyfriend at the age of thirteen. That was
my situation. This is how old I was when I met my first son’s father. I was not a
rebel growing up. I was extremely shy. I was a “good girl”. But somehow was
persuaded by my son’s father to engage in unprotected sex. He was five years older
than me, but my mother still allowed me to have this relationship. Looking back, I
do not believe my mother was a bad parent, but her approach toward teenage
relationships should have been different! What do teenagers know about love? A
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very debatable topic, without a right or wrong answer, but surprisingly we were
allowed to date even with the huge age difference at the time. My son’s father was
accepted in my mother’s house and when I met his mother she was not pleased, but
mother’s character from her, even though she was also condoning it.
Pregnancy
When I found out I was pregnant I thought my life was over. How was I
figure and has always played a major role in my life. I feared of the outcome that
that news would bring and I ran away with my son’s father. We ended up staying
with my mother’s friend for a month, at his cousin’s house for about two months. It
was insane that friends and family supported us in staying away from my family. I
was scared to death and ashamed and I also put my mother through a difficult
turmoil by running away. I felt that is what I needed to do in order to keep the
baby that was growing in my womb. However, my son’s father’s cousin had a
conversation with us and at that point we both realized that it was time for us to go
home.
Emotional Reactions
I can’t describe how I felt going back home, it was simply terrifying. Mostly
facing my grandfather, those were one of the worst feelings of my life. I knew then
that things were going to be different forever. The relationship had changed and
there was a great distance between us. My mother was happy that we rekindled our
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relationship. My son’s father’s family was not too pleased with the situation, but I
was too far in my pregnancy so abortion was out of the question. I started living
with my son’s father at his mother’s house, which was a huge challenge as I was no
longer the average teenager. During that time, the living arrangements at his house
was far better that the one at mine. So I was somewhat lucky and grateful that his
mother opened her home to me. However my family was not welcomed at all, which
created a farther distance between my family and me. Ironically we lived only one
visit. I accomplish those things on my own. I was living in a household with people
that did not care about me, but dealt with me because of my unborn child. I was
lonely and sad but there was no way I could turn back at that point. The
relationship between my son’s father and I, took a toll for the worse during this
period. His father was controlling and abusive, but it is a common characteristic in
The arrival of my son Aaron was painful and unique. I did not know what I
was going to feel or expect. The emotions were grand. The pregnancy was a
struggle and this was due to my age and emotional condition. I experienced high
blood pressure, but delivered a healthy and full term baby. Aaron joined me into
the world March 08, 1991. Although my mother was mainly absent during my
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Education
My education suffered with many missed days of school. I did not graduate
from middle school. Therefore my options were limited. I obtained assistance from
a social worker from the New York-Presbyterian. She provided me with a listing of
alternative high schools. West Side high school stood out because it had a large
population of teenage mothers and in school daycare: “The Life Program”. This
program was facilitated by the board of education and it was free of charge to
wanted to continue my education. I went into West Side by myself and successfully
Support
Although my mother did not provide me with the guidance and support that
I needed, I was very fortunate to have crossed paths with amazing individuals that
actually cared about their jobs and provided me with the support that I didn’t
receive from my mother. West Side high was the perfect choice for me and I made
the best decision in choosing that to continue with my educations. In this school, I
received the greatest support from caring and devoted teachers, especially from my
grade advisor; she was amazing and filled a huge void. West Side was not known
for their academics foundation but they also had the most effective support system
The social worker also introduced me to The Valley. This was a youth
organization that assisted teenagers. It held several programs that ranged from
preventive care, guidance, parental work shops, tutoring and much more. I was
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part of TASA, whose purpose was to serve teenage mothers. The Valley made house
visits, held trips, as well as conducted ceremonies in recognition and rewarding all
their youths for making changes and strides within their lives on a daily basis. The
youths that took part in this organization were from low income households. I am
extremely grateful that I had them to guide me. It was with the help of The Valley
that I was able to gain independence. I became very engaged with my social worker
at The Valley to the point where she understood that my living conditions were
emotionally unhealthy for me. I went back to living with my mother in my aunt’s
house.
Independence
interview for with a Tier Two Shelter, the West End Intergenerational Program.
the shelter. The shelter provided temporarily housing for teenage mothers. I was
closer toward being fully independent and living on my own. The program served
as assistance in seeking low income apartments. At this point, I learned that I was
was taking contraceptives and was very aware about prevention. I was involved in a
new relationship and I was only seventeen, but did not want to have an abortion.
The emotions and feelings were different. Ironically I was not as scared as I was
with my first pregnancy. This time I was at a different place in my life. But I was
once again involved with a partner that was also controlling and had a strong
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temperament. I knew it was not going be easy. I proceeded with the second
pregnancy. Tough times were heading my way but this was the path I had chosen.
Darrin my second son was born on December 22, 1993. He was healthy and
was a full term. This was a much more pleasant pregnancy and delivery then the
first. My social worker at the shelter helped me tremendously with making some
crucial decisions about housing. I had lived at the shelter for eleven months before I
found an apartment for my two boys and myself. At eighteen years old I was living
on my own and graduating high school. It was exciting for me, a sense of worth and
accomplishment. I was and continue to be very proud of myself. It had been a long
journey and this was the beginning of a new chapter. A college education was the
next step.
years old. The reason for this life change was due to extenuating circumstances.
My mother could not provide him with the proper environment and because I
always loved my brother in a special way I could not allow him to grow up in chaos.
Therefore, I decided that the most appropriate decision was to keep him in my
After that I had a fourth addition to my family. Jared was born on August
25, 2006. Twelve years after my second son, a long gap compared to the previous
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Employment
medical room throughout my high school years, as well as for summer youth for
four years during the summer. I was then hired as a full time regular employee at
Mid Manhattan Library where I stayed for two years. I then moved on to retail
and worked four and half years at the GAP. Thereafter I worked for Apple Bank
for a year and half, and lastly joined HSBC Bank USA NA. This is where you
would find me these days. I have worked for the company for ten years. I am a
employment and school has not been easy. Each role has been extremely
demanding! Attaining my college degree has been the hardest accomplishment for
me. I have attended College part-time on and off for several years. This is because
I have experienced many bumps along the way, but I am now closer toward
completing my undergrad degree. I am now a senior and just need a few more
My priority has always been and will continue to be being a mother. I feel
that I have done an excellent job at it. I may not be perfect but I think I am one of
the best. I love being a mother! I am devoted 110% toward this role. I have filled
the role of being a mother and father for my children and my brother. My children
are my priorities and I am their biggest supporter. I tend to their needs first before
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anything else. I enjoy spending quality time with them. I always read to them
because I knew how essential it has been and still is for their developmental growth.
I keep a firm hand with their schooling. I continuously have played various roles
within their schools. I have participated in many functions such as: Parent Teacher
Association, School Leadership Team, Bake Sales, and more. I know that my strong
involvement with my children puts them ahead of the game because they have
received special attention and this is very important to me. I am a strong believer in
working closely together with their teachers because I want them to have many
options.
For the most part, I have raised my children alone. It has been extremely
difficult but I have been quite successful in raising them. They are great children
and my oldest is now a college student. He graduated from the Beacon High School,
youngest is in a Pre-K program with a private daycare. My brother works full time
I have experience many obstacles but aside from all the turbulence; I can say
that I have done descent job for myself and my family. I was a teenage mother that
was able to graduate on time from high school. I am lucky to have crossed paths
with many outstanding individuals that cared. Its not often we come across people
that truly want to make a difference. I am successful, but I have to also give credit
Hunter. After my last child was born my brother also became engaged with
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a TEAM and need each other. This is how my family functions. It is also by this
that I am inserting values. I also communicate with them openly about sex and
children and brother. So far I have been successful. My brother has said he is not
having children for now. He has felt the pressure of dealing with them and knows
you have to be prepared to bring a life into this world. My boys have also sensed
what it would be to have children at a young age. I rely on them heavily and they
have no choice but to be my hands with the youngest. It is not often young girls
have the opportunity in sharing their stories. No one can understand or relate
unless they have walked the same road. I always express that I am not normal. I
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Testimonial
My name is Mary Ellen and I have the extreme pleasure of working with Alexa.
We have been coworkers for over a year and I can honestly say that she is one
of the hardest working women I know. Between her job, school and her family,
Alexa takes on multiple tasks a day without hesitation. She is able to find the
humor in a situation that some might find overwhelming. I believe her dedication
and grace helps her to succeed. Her work ethic is highly regarded. She is
While working with Alexa I have learned not only about her but also about her
family. She is a wonderful and caring mother of 3 boys (4 if you count her
brother). I know by the way Alexa speaks about her family that she would do
anything for them. I am lucky and honored to have been able to work with her
and wish I could have a branch full of employees just like her.
My name is Tisha Brugman and I run a group family daycare called Lil' Thinkers. This is where
my affiliation with Alexa began. She enrolled her son Jared in my family daycare. Alexa Perez
character is of a very skilled, hardworking and nurturing individual who ensures that she sets a
good example for her children. I believe Alexa will excel in anything she puts her mind too. She is
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