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Events happen, characters develop, and so time ows. But as your story stretches across days, weeks and years,
So how do you skip or gloss over all those parts you don't need to describe?
Summaries, ashbacks and scene breaks are the answer. But have you mastered them all? Do you know how to
use them and still keep your reader engaged and grounded?
Here are ve ways you can present the ow and passing of time in your ction.
1. Summarise events
Emphasise details
Essential Reading
Essential Reading
3. Master ashbacks
Switch tense
Tense structure
Essential Reading
Past reminders
Future plans
1. Summarise Events
Many are familiar with the difference between summary and scene writing, but sometimes it's not so easy to
identify.
Summaries skim through events, not providing enough information for readers to completely visualise the actions
in their mind.
Scene, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of summary." — Selayna
Scenes are a more moment-by-moment, detailed showing of events. Scenes also include dialogue and non-
You could surround these four words with dialogue and scene writing, but they are still a summary.
Summaries lack tension and naturally use "telling" rather than "showing" techniques. But you can't do away with
them altogether.
One way to keep readers engaged with summaries is to keep them short and mix them between scenes. You can
J. K. Rowling summarises a whole afternoon and conversation in a short paragraph sandwiched between two
scenes:
'So?' said Ron, but he looked a bit uncomfortable. 'She must've noticed she's got no friends.'
Hermione didn't turn up for the next class and wasn't seen all afternoon. On their way down to the Great Hall
for the Halloween feast, Harry and Ron overheard Parvati Patil telling her friend Lavender that Hermione was
crying in the girls' bathroom and wanted to be left alone. Ron looked still more awkward at this, but a moment
later they had entered the Great Hall, where the Halloween decorations put Hermione out of their minds.
A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low
black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter." — J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's
Stone
As a writer, you can bend and shape the passage of time to your novel's bene t. Image via Unsplash
Emphasise Details
To spice up a summary, actively use "show" techniques such as adding bursts of detail, or a humorous side-note
by the narrator. Anthony Doerr summarises years in his short story For a Long Time This Was Griselda's Story, but
The curtains went gray; Twinkie wrappers sprouted from couch cushions; ants roved in the metal mouths of
Just because summaries naturally lean towards "telling", it doesn't mean you have to stick with that. Be creative,
The events you summarise must be necessary for the story to move forward, or to put your characters in context
You don't need to mention grocery shopping, for example, unless your character is about to cook. Even then, that's
usually implied.
If nothing relevant occurs in the time you are glossing over, use a time-skip instead.
need to use summaries, the best places to put them are at the end or sometimes the beginning of a scene. This
A scene beginning needs to move fairly quickly and, on occasion, summary will get the reader there
Summaries are slow, while scenes are fast. So when you want fast pacing at the start of your story and at the
However, summaries can also be used as the calm before the storm, or to portray a character going into shock
after a big event. The following summary doesn't make light of the character's loss. In fact, the detached telling
For the first week she cried. The second she stared out the window in a funk. By week three, she'd thrown back
Using a mixture of summaries and scenes can help you show time passing. Image via Unsplash
You should let them know either the current time or how much time has passed whenever you summarise, skip
Starting new scenes with phrases such as “the next day” or “a week before the party” is a clear way of stating the
current time. Transitional words and phrases give context to the new scene by comparing it to a time the reader is
A quick search will give you a whole list of different time transition words that you can alternate between to keep a
much time has passed. These markers can be a reference to the time or date, a season change, holidays and
Finally, the sun starts to set. The sky is darkening and the clouds are tipped with orange." — Roz
This is the rst line after a scene break in chapter two of Roz Morris' Lifeform Three. Immediately the reader
knows that hours have passed, and the atmosphere for dusk is laid over the scene.
Time markers can be something as simple as a description of the time of day. Image via
snapwiresnaps.tumblr.com
...and she walked towards him through the young cherry blossom that was dancing in the breeze like notes
seeking a song.
The stark ice-gloved twigs of the cherry tree were dark against the snow." — Caro Clarke
When you next come across a time jump in a book, check how quickly the author places a time marker.
More often than not, you'll nd something within the rst two sentences. Because so many different details can be
associated with time, authors can use this technique again and again with subtlety.
If your story is hundreds of pages long but only covers a short period of characters' lives, be sure to regularly
Humans are very aware of time, and if your reader's assumption of time is wrong, they're missing part of the story.
So quickly, it isn't unusual for characters to pause and re ect on the short time. As well as this, you can make use
of quicker time markers, such as the sun, meal and sleep cycles, or mobile phone battery life.
A change of seasons is a great way to show time passing. Image via Pixabay
3. Master Flashbacks
Rather than summarising backstory, or dropping it into dialogue, some writers reveal it in scenes called
ashbacks. This enables the writer to create a more vivid and emotional character backstory.
When using ashbacks, always remember when the main story is. If you're turning to ashbacks because there
isn't enough emotion or tension in the present, you may be writing the wrong story.
Another common mistake is using ashbacks too often, or too soon. With the main tension in the present story,
readers won't thank you for dragging the action out with lots of ashbacks.
Flashbacks should also be avoided within the rst few chapters, as readers won't be invested enough in the
Switch Tense
To signal the start and end of ashbacks, switch to past perfect tense for a few sentences.
Past perfect verbs indicate that the action was completed before any past tense verb. To do this, simply add "had"
to any past tense verb. Short ashbacks can be done entirely in past perfect, but in longer ones it becomes clunky.
He knew all the practical moves and involuntary gestures, and he scanned everyone, granting no exceptions.
He and Eddie had done a job like this one when he was no more than twelve. Eddie had dressed him for
baseball, and had even bought him a new glove to carry folded under his arm. When they had come upon the
man in the crowd, he hadn’t even seen them; his eyes were too occupied in studying the crowd..." — Thomas
The tense change in Perry's writing creates a smooth, clear transition into ashback.
Note how he also adds a time marker — the character's age — quite early. From here he starts to return to past
tense for the main ashback, then ends the ashback with a few more perfect past sentences.
Of course, if your main story is in present tense, use regular past tense for ashbacks. In this example, the author
switches to past tense to indicate a ashback, and again uses a time marker to let the reader know when the
ashback is set.
He's probably forgotten it. But I haven't and I know I never will.
It was during the worst time. My father had been killed in the mine accident three months earlier..." — Suzanne
Tense Structure
For long ashbacks, if you're writing primarily in past tense, your scene's tense should look something like this:
A ashback should signi cantly alter either how the reader perceives the present, or how the character does. If a
ashback reveals that a character was attacked by a dog as a child, the reader has a deeper understanding when,
You can also use ashbacks to show how a character is affected by their past. By connecting a past event and the
present situation, you can demonstrate how your character echoes or tries to escape their past actions.
If your ashback doesn't add anything to the immediate present of your story, it's in the wrong place or it's
unnecessary.
Flashbacks should help readers understand your characters better. Image via Unsplash
an object, a sensory item such as a colour or smell, a line of dialogue, or simply something embedded in the
Past Reminders
When you're moving back in time, use something strongly and clearly linked to the speci c past event to trigger
memory. The best triggers for ashbacks spark a character's memory, which the narration follows to lead the
reader through past events.
The last time Fred saw this apron, he was helping his mother bake gingerbread. He was twelve then and..." —
Harvey Chapman
When you come back out of the ashback, mention your character in the present with the trigger again to reorient
your reader. For example, if they picked up an object to trigger the memory, return to the present with them putting
it back down.
Future Plans
When you're skipping over time, it's good to trigger that too – especially if it's a large jump. The best way to do this
is to refer to an upcoming event, and either jump to that event or before the event.
A trigger could be a physical invitation, a present waiting to be gifted, the smell of festival food being cooked or
"The event" doesn't have to be big. It can be as simple as a character thinking about an exam, then jumping to
Triggers are important when you're time-jumping or presenting ashbacks. Image via Kaboompics
Readers become disorientated if they don't know when they are, or if several sentences later realise they weren't
Cinderella looked at the mess of the basement and sighed. She wouldn't get much sleep tonight, as the ball was
The Prince ducked through a narrow servant's door into the vegetable garden. He wove through lengthening
shadows of evening and breathed in the chilly air. Freedom, at last. Freedom from stiff smiles, exaggerated bows
He still didn't understand why his father insisted on the ball. Or why he had to be there when every visiting family
The switch uses markers to indicate that both Cinderella's and the Prince's scene are in the evening. However,
Cinderella thinking about the ball makes the reader also think about it, leading to the assumption that the Prince's
Moreover, until the last sentence, every detail could support the assumption that it is the evening of the ball. That's
ve sentences of a reader sitting in the wrong time. If you can't avoid triggering, you should have transition words
Clear time markers are important to avoid confusing readers. Image via Unsplash
section or a book.
When using ashbacks, it isn't necessary to use a break to separate the past and present, but it is recommended.
It’s possible to skip hours, days or even weeks with a scene break; as long as the writer draws attention to the
fact that time will pass by before the next scene, otherwise a jump in time without hinting at it or preparing the
If you skip time often, or twice in a row, be clear when a scene break doesn't skip over time. Readers will quickly
become familiar with patterns, and are off-put when their expectations aren't met.
To avoid this, simply use a time marker. If your break switches between characters, have them both notice the
David couldn't wait for the party tomorrow. He had everything planned to the T.
Cheri grinned as she made her way to David’s. She was ready to ruin everything he had planned." — Lacey
***
Sometimes your story spans hours, and sometimes it spans generations. With these tools and techniques, you
can have full control over your ctional time ow, without losing your reader.
Already mastered the passing of time in your story? Click here for 9 ways to sharpen your manuscript.
ashbacks , pacing , time , time jumps , time skips , time transition , writing , writing advice , writing tips
Kyla Bagnall recently graduated from her QUT Creative & Professional Writing degree with distinction. At the
astute age of 11 she announced her ambition to become an author, and hasn't looked back since. Her passion
has led her through experiences with ction, non- ction, plus internships with a publishing house and a writer's
festival. Aside from that, her favourite things are books, art, cats, tea and winter. You can nd out more about
Kyla's passions at her blog www.threebagsfull.com
By Kyla Bagnall