Kaufman

Chapter 8 Cultivating Collaborative Relationships

ED 589 Achieving Success with Parents of Students with Special Needs

1. What concerns prevent teachers from collaborating? What describes you? How can you
cope?

Concerns of teachers include: feelings of inadequate training and personal insecurity, a level of
support that is less than inspiring, time pressure, perceived loss of control, and the critical
judgment of others

The one that best describes me is low level of support.

Little consistent support from administration. In the event related earlier in these questions I
wrote about a hearing into allegations that I had violated a teen’s 504 accommodations. From
the moment that letter arrived on my supervisor’s desk there was a presumption of guilt. No
administrator offered support, encouragement or the belief that the facts would determine I had
not acted in any way that would deprive the teen of his rightful accommodations. That happened
in the past, and has definitely affected the lengths I might go to establish a meaningful
relationship with parents that recognized my own humanity. While I am cordial, caring and
concerned, I no longer extend myself in quite so friendly manner as I used to. I require
administrative presence at meetings with difficult parents. I always have at least one colleague at
impromptu meetings with students and guidance counselors at planned meetings with difficult
parents and students.

2. Have cultural differences affected your collaboration with parents?

Not very much considering that 98% of the population of Vermont is white and that includes me.
I do have to work to overcome biases I recognize because of my education and economic status,
all outcomes of my work ethic and commitment to self-reliance. I continue to have difficulty
remaining non-judgmental with parents who do not work and are content to remain unemployed,
who allow their children to make the rules for themselves and who come to school to talk about
themselves rather than listen and engage in conversation about their child. That they want a
better life for their child is the ground for relationship whether I find that stifling or not is not of
any consequence.

3. What are some strategies you can employ to better understand and respect the cultural
perspectives of your families regarding disabilities and education?

As stated above, it is economic disparity rather than cultural ones that separate me from the
parents I tend to encounter. As stated above, it is hard for me to find common ground to respect
parents who abdicate authority over their children to the children and do not foster and ethic of
exertion and self reliance in their families. That they want a better life for their kid that someone
else will manifest is hard for me to wrap my mind around. That is part of my ongoing work.

4. Explain: Equity and Advocacy

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Chapter 8 Cultivating Collaborative Relationships
ED 589 Achieving Success with Parents of Students with Special Needs

Equity: parents are equal partners in assuring an appropriate education for their child.
Advocacy: Parents will participate in discussions across the board and seek redress if their input
isn’t evident in the plan that emerges from the team’s considerations.

5. Conducting reflective parent-teacher conferences

Approaching the meeting from a collaborative perspective where each has information to offer
and each has information to hear can create a collegial atmosphere conducive to collaboration. I
begin the meetings by telling the parent(s) what is going well, by using my Smart board to show
a posting on the classroom blog by the child or share work that has been exemplary.

Gorman advises outlining the meeting in advance. I go to the blackboard and ask them what
they would like to discuss. Then I confirm what is there and add any points I would like to
cover.

Then I ask parents what they are seeing and hearing at home, about school and life in general. I
make it a point to ask them to tell me any particular concerns or ask questions so that when I
speak they are in a more receptive mode and not anxious that I will have to end this meeting due
to time constraints before their questions are answered. Earlier, I wrote that no parent came to
the first round of parent-teacher conferences this term, so that was not an issue.

I conclude by telling parents what I intend to do around what has been discussed in the weeks
ahead and invite them to select a date for our next meeting. When that is done, I follow
Gorman’s advice and ask them how they will follow through on meeting our objectives.

I follow up with a letter to the parents summarizing the key points with a copy to the IEP file.

6. Any other strategies for IEP or ILP meetings?

One of my colleagues puts everything into a clear PowerPoint presentation he projects on his
Smart Board. Attendance, grades, bulleted summaries of other teachers’ comments are all there.
Blessedly, he does not read what is on the board but uses this data as a springboard for
meaningful conversation. Seeing the data on the big screen makes it more difficult to rely on
what the child is telling the parent that might veer from the record.

7. Homework is often an issue. How do you approach homework?

I don’t assign homework. Ever. I use worksheets and interactive technology in the classroom.
All my tests are open book. I collect and grade notebooks after giving teens advance notice of
the notebook check and a list of what I expect to find there in terms of notes, hand-outs, returned
tests and worksheets, reflective and creative writing classroom assignments.

8. Handling over-involved and needy parents:

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Chapter 8 Cultivating Collaborative Relationships
ED 589 Achieving Success with Parents of Students with Special Needs

Avoid emotional involvement: I respond with empathy and ask about family support or
counseling.

Provide parents with resources and positive redirection:

I make a referral to the child’s guidance counselor for additional resources and/or I give them the
business cards of individuals at various state agencies I have worked with in the past.

Discuss the limits of your support I remind parents that I am an English teacher. I do not
respond to personal litanies or questions about my own life in email or conversation, steering the
topic back to the child, or if that is complete, ending the conversation in a respectful manner.

9. Describe transition strategies

Teens transition from my classroom to life after high school. There is plenty of work done by
case managers around transitional goals for which my foundational teaching in literacy skills is
essential. I am not involved in creating multi-year plans, vocational training or job shadowing
opportunities. I do work intensively 1:1 with teens to write the required reports about these
activities that are then submitted to administration for approval and credit toward graduation.

10. Describe these points for cultivating collaborative relationships:

Building Credibility
It is important to convey to parents that the educator “...know[s] and understands their child,
have positive attitudes toward and expectations of their child and recognize the strength (not just
the weaknesses) of their particular child.” (Gorman, p. 120-121) Therefore it is important to
speak to the individuality of each parents’ child through relaying anecdotal information, showing
your reading and understanding of the case file in conversation and being honest about any gaps
in your understanding of the disability.

Using Helpful Interpersonal Skills

According to Gorman, research bears out that the interpersonal skills parents of children with
disabilities feel are helpful in a teacher are: friendliness, optimism, patience, sincerity and
honesty, tact, responsiveness, and openness to suggestions. Respect for parents’ decisions and
humility also add to collaborative partnerships.

Motivating Parents
In Gorman’s words, “If the collaboration feels imposed the parents may pull back or rebel.”
(Gorman, p.122). She recommends inquiring about past experiences with teachers and the type
of collaboration that has worked best for them and their child. It is, above all, crucial to have
them articulate their goals and let them know they are heard by what you say and what you do.
It doesn’t hurt to restate their goals to them at the next meeting and let progress toward those
goals serve as the agenda for the meeting.

Defining Roles
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Chapter 8 Cultivating Collaborative Relationships
ED 589 Achieving Success with Parents of Students with Special Needs

Determine that parents understand their rights and expectations the team has for them under
equity and advocacy. Find out what strengths they believe they bring to this process and
determine how your own dovetail with theirs for a smooth and effective partnership. Clearly and
succinctly summarize the roles and responsibilities of all members of the team and put this in
writing with contact information.

Maintaining the Relationship

Develop creative and engaging forms of communication that might include a newsletter or blog.
Use the strategies explored in my response to Question #5 in this chapter for parent meetings.
Use conferences as a way to deepen communication and collaboration. Follow up without
procrastination any phone call or email from parents with succinct and clear information or a
deadline for obtaining that information.

Demonstrate your understanding of parents’ feelings and their roles in the way you conduct
larger meetings, deferring to their expertise when appropriate and skillfully communicating any
information that is new or perhaps difficult for a layperson to understand.

Ending the relationship

Provide parents with positive feedback. Use specific examples from your collaboration to
bolster their essential and unique contributions to the team.

Encourage parents to use their skills. Remind them of fears or concerns you worked through
together and mirror to them the tenacity and courage they demonstrated over the months. Link
this to whatever goals they hold for their child after you are no longer on the team and validate
their ability to continue to be positive advocates and educational partners with educators.

Enlist parents as mentors for other parents. Allow their accomplishments to be of benefit to
other parents who might be floundering through situations that these parents have been though is
a satisfying manner. Give them the credit for becoming leaders and/or role models for other
parents less accomplished with the process than they are.