SEX SHOULD BE DONE ONLY WITHIN

MARRIAGE

GROUP V
Member of The Group :
1. Amanda Nurjamilah
2. Dara Puspita Riyawan
3. Priska Ayu Sefiati
4. Risma Nur ‘ Aeni

ENGLISH PAPER

Mr. Budiarto, M.Pd

2020
 PREFACE

First of All, thanks to Allah SWT because of the help of Allah, we finished writing
the paper entitled “Sex Should Be Done Only Within Marriage” right in the calculated time.
The purpose in writing this paper is to fulfill the assignment that given by Mr. Budiarto as
English teacher in 42 vocation school.
We as a group member of V would like to thank Mr. Budiarto as a teacher in the field
of English language studies who have given this task so as to increase knowlage and insight
in accordance with the field of study we pursue.
We also thank all those who shared some of their knowlage so that we could complete
this paper.
We realized that this paper still imperfect in arrangment and the content. Then we
hope the criticism from Mr. Budiarto and the readers can help the writer in perfecting the
next paper. Last, we hopefully this paper can helps the readers to gain more knowlage.

Jakarta, January 14th,2020

2
 TABLE OF CONTENT

PREFACE ............................................................................................................................................... 2
TABLE OF CONTENT .......................................................................................................................... 3
DISCUSSIONS ....................................................................................................................................... 4
A. Definition of Sex ......................................................................................................................... 4
B. What is Sexual Encouragement?................................................................................................. 4
C. What Is Sexual Behavior? ........................................................................................................... 4
D. Sexual Education ........................................................................................................................ 5
E. Purpose........................................................................................................................................ 5
F. Sex Is A Need Or Means Of Recreation? ................................................................................... 7
G. Psychological Impacts of Sex Out of Marriage Relationships.................................................... 8
CONCLUSION ..................................................................................................................................... 10

3
 DISCUSSIONS

A. Definition of Sex
Sex is a physical or biological difference between women and men, which is often
called sex. While sexuality involves a very broad range of dimensions, namely the biological,
social, psychological, and cultural dimensions. Sexuality from a biological dimension is
related to the reproductive organs and genitals, including how to maintain health and function
optimally in the reproductive organs and sexual drive.

Sexuality from a psychological dimension is closely related to how it functions as a

sexual being, role identity or type, and how the dynamics of psychological aspects (cognition,
emotions, motivation, behavior) towards sexuality itself.

From the social dimension, sexuality is seen in how sexuality arises in human
relationships, how the influence of the environment in shaping views about sexuality which
ultimately shapes sexual behavior. The cultural dimension shows that sexual behavior is part
of the culture that exists in society.

B. What is Sexual Encouragement?

Sexual impulse is the desire to get sexual satisfaction obtained with sexual
behavior. It is natural for teenagers to have sexual urges because when they reach puberty,
sexual urges will appear in a person. When puberty, the reproductive organs have begun to
function, the sexual hormones also begin to function. These hormones cause sexual arousal,
namely the hormone estrogen and progesterone in women, and the hormone testosterone in
men. The thing to note is that when sexual drive appears it is not matched by an
understanding of matters relating to sexual behavior.

There is no difference between the sexual urges of men and women. There is no
higher. Even though there is a belief in society that sexual drive in men is greater than in
women, it is actually caused by a culture that allows men to be more expressive (including in
terms of sexuality), while women are prohibited from showing their sexual attraction in front
of many people.

C. What Is Sexual Behavior?

Sexual behavior is often interpreted wrongly by many people with sexual
relations. Sexual behavior is regarded as something that is merely "negative". Though not

4
 the case. Sexual behavior is behavior based on sexual urges or activities to get pleasure from
sexual organs through various behaviors. Sexual behavior is very broad in nature, ranging
from dressing up, mejeng, ngerling, seducing, flirting to sexual activities and relationships.

Sexual intercourse is sexual contact carried out in pairs with the opposite sex or same-
sex. For example: handrails, dry kisses, wet kisses, petting, intercourse and others. Sexual
behavior is the result of interaction between personality and the surrounding
environment. Here are some internal and external factors that influence sexual behavior:

Biological perspective, biological changes that occur during puberty and hormone activation
can lead to sexual behavior.

 Influence of Parents, the lack of open communication between parents and

adolescents in sexual issues can strengthen the emergence of sexual behavior
deviations
 Peer Influence, in adolescence, peer influence is so strong that the emergence of
sexual behavior deviations is associated with peer group norms
 Academic perspective, teenagers with low achievement and low aspiration stage tend
to have more sexual activity than teenagers with good achievements in school
 Social Cognitive Perspective, social cognitive abilities are associated with decision
making that provides an understanding of sexual behavior among
adolescents. Adolescents who are able to make informed decisions based on their
values can display healthier sexual behaviors.

D. Sexual Education
Sexual education or sex education is an activity to teach about reproductive health. The
purpose of this activity is to realize the importance of reproductive health so that acts of
sexual harassment and communicable diseases can be prevented.

E. Purpose
Sexual education aims to teach about reproductive health organs, sexually transmitted
diseases and HIV / AIDS, pregnancy, and contraception that can be used. Sexual education
can also prevent acts of sexual violence, rape, extramarital sex, and early marriage. In

5
addition, reducing the adverse effects of the absorption of insecure and inaccurate
information via the internet.

Sexual education can start from childhood, or when boys start having wet dreams and girls
experience menstruation.

 study the reproductive organs

 prevent any form of sexual violence and rape
 prevent early marriage
 prevent unsafe sex
 prevent the absorption of insecure and accurate information
In addition, good sexual education also results in children having a better personality.

Sexual Education in Various Countries

1. China.
Isabella Steinhauer (2016) said, in China there are still many parents who consider
that sexuality is a taboo to discuss with their children. So there are still many children
who have not received sexual education.
2. India.
Sexual education in India has also been challenged because it is considered not in
accordance with the values taught.
3. Canada.
In Canada shows that sexual education is related to the health sector. However,
sexual education is still opposed by some parents.
4. Netherlands.
Sexual education provided includes pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, sexual
orientation and homophobia, sexual values, respect for various attitudes towards
sexuality, and skills for developing healthy sexuality.
5. Indonesia.
Sexual education in Indonesia has not progressed. According to a 2011 Ministry of
Health survey, only 20 percent of adolescents aged 14-20 years who have
comprehensive knowledge about HIV are associated with sexual behavior.

6
F. Sex Is A Need Or Means Of Recreation?
Certainly for all living things in the universe, sex is a necessity for reproduction. But
for humans and maybe dolphins, there are times when sex is used as a means of recreation,
aka for mere pleasure. But reported by Medical Daily, a Pathology Professor from NYU
Medical Center, Adriana Heguy, believes that it is not the same. The professor stated that
sexual relations for mammals, all aimed at "maintaining offspring." This is based on various
logical reasons.

According to the professor, pregnancy and childbirth are painful. At least though
some tricks can be applied, at least having a pregnancy is something that is uncomfortable.
In fact, the process of giving birth is also actually very dangerous, considering that many
mothers die during childbirth. According to data from the United Nations Population Fund,
around the world there are 800 mothers who die every day while giving birth.

Why is this painful thing the reason?

Because even if it hurts, mothers are willing to do it continuously. Of course this is

not because a mother wants to enjoy sex for recreational facilities, but they want to have
children. Even the professor also stated that the same feelings are also thought by men,
where they have sexual relations to become fathers. More precisely, according to the
professor, humans want descent naturally because they want to feel the love and close bond
between parent and child, which indeed has to do with reproduction. Reproduction itself
certainly needs sexual relations.

While the 'pleasure' that is obtained when someone has sex, it turns out to be one with
the human 'instinct' in the desire to perform reproductive activities. So that it is unplanned
and instinctual. At the beginning of ancient human development, humans used sex as
reproduction. But as civilization progresses, humans find ways to control reproduction and
ultimately the goals of 'reproduction' and 'pleasure' are finally separated. Moreover, humans
in their subconscious mind are no longer concerned with the development of species, and
only care for their offspring.

Finally it can be concluded that humans have sex because they want to have offspring,
and the 'pleasure' in sexual relations which is ultimately used as a place of recreation for
humans, is a 'trick' in evolution that will still make humans reproduce.

7
G. Psychological Impacts of Sex Out of Marriage Relationships
Sexual intercourse before marriage or extramarital sex is still a controversy in
Indonesia. Previously, Abdul Aziz's dissertation, Doctoral student at the State Islamic
University (UIN) Sunan Kalijaga Yogyakarta, entitled 'The Concept of Milk Al-Yamin
Muhammad Syahrur as the Validity of Nonmarital Sexual Relations' became controversial.

Some media make news with the title, including, "UIN Sunan Kalijaga Student: Sex
Out of Marriage Does Not Violate Sharia"; "Sex outside of marriage does not violate Sharia
Law so the contents of UIN Student Dissertation". According to Psychologist Gadjah Mada
University (UGM) Professor Koentjoro sexual relations carried out before marriage has a
variety of risks.

1. Guilty feeling will arise

"If he still holds strong religious values, guilty feeling will arise and feel very
guilty," said Koentjoro. According to Koentjoro guilty feeling and feeling very guilty
will arise because in the religion of sexual relations before marriage is considered as
one of the great sins that should not be committed.
2. Emotional and sexual dependence
Koentjoro added besides arising guilty feeling usually there will also be an
emotional and sexual dependence with his partner. Especially if this sexual
intercourse occurs for those who have sexual activity for the first time.
"This emotional dependence usually becomes more jealous of their partners,
especially if the woman is still virgin and before engaging in a relationship to be
persuaded first, it's not easy to get it," said Koentjoro. While for sexual dependence
according to Koentjoro because sex is normative, subjective so other people should
not know. So when doing sexual intercourse will always depend on their partners.
3. Potential for violence in courtship
Koentjoro also explained that sexual relations conducted before marriage
would also lead to violence in courtship. Koentjoro gave an example, if his partner
becomes more emotionally dependent then there will be a greater feeling of jealousy
that will trigger a fight. In addition, violence in courtship can also occur not only
psychologically but also sexually. For example when his partner refuses to have sex
while the other one really wants it then coercion can occur which triggers another
violence.

8
 Sexual intercourse carried out without an understanding of reproductive health
can also result in unplanned pregnancy which can trigger other more complex
problems. Especially if they are not ready to settle down and have children.
4. Potential for cheating when married
Koentjoro also said that when later married, couples who had previously had
premarital sexual relations have the potential and tendency to cheat. "Feeling exciting
will be different when you get married, because the adrenaline is already different
right it's not hide-and-seek again so there is the potential for cheating so there are
different challenges," concluded Koentjoro.

9
 CONCLUSION
Sex is a physical or biological difference between women and men, which is often
called sex. While sexuality involves a very broad range of dimensions, namely the biological,
social, psychological, and cultural dimensions. Sexuality from a biological dimension is
related to the reproductive organs and genitals, including how to maintain health and function
optimally in the reproductive organs and sexual drive.

Sex really must be done when merriage occurs becouse of the impact if sex is done
before marriage is very fatal and can not be repaired from any party.

10