04/02/2020 Are You Having Trouble Feeling Your Feelings?

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Feeling Your Feelings? ••••••••

By Ivanka Jankovic
January 13, 2012
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If you have trouble getting in touch with your feelings there is a

good reason for that. To feel your feelings you need to be in your body. But the body
has recorded each painful episode in your life - small, big or deep trauma. Not
knowing how to deal with pain, we all learned to leave the body.

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Daily Inspiration
Spirit speaks to us in many ways and our
We all have quite predictable ways how we react under stress. Stress is anything from bad feelings are one of those ways. Anxiety and
shame may be letting you know that you are off
news, a difficult conversation, a tight deadline, a resistant child, a doctor's appointment - track in your thinking, that you are telling
anything that affects our balance and prompts an emotional response showing how we deal yourself things that you do not know to be true.
Anger and depression may be letting you know
with difficult feelings. that there are some ways you are not taking
loving care of yourself. Peace, joy, fullness of
heart and lightness of being let you know that
Agrimony and Water Violet are Bach Flower remedies that treat the same kind of imbalance you are loving yourself and you are in harmony
with the truth of Spirit.
- an inability to cope with difficult feelings.
By Dr. Margaret Paul
An agrimony person has an outgoing personality, when under stress takes a light-hearted
approach, laughs, or goes out to party. Mingling with others is a way to avoid feelings.
Agrimony wears a mask of carefreeness, and even jokes about their own problems while
real feelings get pushed away.

A Water Violet person is very quiet and private. When under stress they prefer to be left
alone and undisturbed. Water Violet goes into its own world of books or any other activity
Inner Bonding
that disconnects her from her feelings. Being Water Violet myself I know how important it is Products:
for us to have our down time to recuperate. I also know now the difference between using
down time to shut off feelings vs. embracing and learning from them. Image Title

Neither Agrimony nor Water Violet allow themselves to feel their feelings. They do not want
#16 Loving
to dump them on others as well. They are two sides of the same coin.
Yourself Around
Why Do We Avoid Our Feelings? Others
By Dr. Margaret Paul
If you have trouble getting in touch with your feelings there is a good reason for that. To feel
your feelings you need to be in your body. But the body has recorded each painful episode
in your life - small, big or deep trauma. Not knowing how to deal with pain, we all learned to
leave the body.

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04/02/2020 Are You Having Trouble Feeling Your Feelings?

Pushing away or denying feelings is learned behaviour. It was lifesaving. Repeating this Image Title
behaviour later in life takes a toll on health and relationships.
Inner Bonding
Feeling your feelings today means getting in touch with old and new pain in your body, and
Daily Inspirations
releasing it. That is very scary. Each of us fears being swallowed up or annihilated by
By Dr. Margaret Paul,
anticipated pain.
compiled by Merry

When you do not allow yourself to feel, your energy becomes fragmented, scattered and Oislander

ungrounded. It takes a tremendous amount of your valuable vital energy to suppress

feelings The Inner Bonding
Introductory
Learning to Feel Feelings Again
Lecture
By Dr. Margaret Paul
Learning to feel your feelings starts again with a decision that you will do your best to stay
present and in your body. As you start tuning into your feelings and your body you will notice
a sudden urge to run away, do something, talk to somebody, suddenly get hungry or Beyond Fear and
remember a chore that you have postponed for a while and must do it now, or simply you Addictions
will zone out. Those are all attempts to not feel the feelings. By Dr. Margaret Paul

The most common way of not feeling the feelings is staying in your head and get proficient
analysing how you feel and why. When I ask clients to tune in and tell me what are they
feeling in the moment, he/she fights to stay in the head or starts to choke, can barely breath.
Shallow breathing is a protection against dropping into a body.

Trying to find a solution and understand a distressful situation, or understand yourself or

others without feeling the feelings, is futile. The same problem comes back as a boomerang
with more intensity. However to truly tap into your well-being and create a fulfilling life, you
must be willing to get in touch with your feeling Self, your inner child.

If you have difficulty getting in touch with your feelings you may try those steps.

Breathe. Every time you feel discomfort take a couple of deep breaths, then put
attention on your heart. You can place your palms onto your heart area.
Acknowledge the fear. It is quite normal to feel it.
Set your intent to be willing to explore your feelings.
Name a feeling: sad, angry, irritable, jealous, impatient, heartbroken, etc.
Tune into your body. Are you having tightness in your chest, a knot in your belly,
tension in your shoulders? Just notice what is going on.
Peeling an onion. Notice the longer you stay with your feelings that underneath is
another feeling. Example: helplessness covered up by irritability. You will know when
you have peeled the onion and reached the feeling that would give you the most
valuable information.
Journal. You can take a piece of paper and write your feelings and body reactions for
a week to gain awareness about your most common feelings, as there are always
reoccurring themes in our lives.
Stop ruminating about a past event. This is again a way to distract yourself and
become a victim; gently attend to what you are feeling in a moment. It may seem like
some past event is causing your pain now. It is not. Current pain is caused by
something you are doing or not doing now.
Trust that you will never be given more than you can handle. Be kind and gentle with
yourself.
Practice. There are no magic bullets. Everything boils down to willingness to stay with
a feeling, learn from it, and being consistently present in your body.

Feeling the feelings is step one of the Inner Bonding process, and when you feel ready you
can then proceed with other steps. Avoid temptation to rush, get over it or simply skip it.

Getting in touch with your feelings is a process - not a one time thing. Each of us has years
or decades when we denied our feelings so reversing our habits takes time. At the
beginning it may look like you have opened up Pandora's box. It gets worse before it gets
better.

Knowing your feelings means knowing yourself and living without protections and masks.
The biggest gift you can give yourself is to learn to emotionally soothe yourself, be there for

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04/02/2020 Are You Having Trouble Feeling Your Feelings?

yourself, and then you can be around others without a need to make them take away your
pain or take on their pain. It is your ticket to vitality.

"When your fear touches someone's pain, it becomes pity, when your love touches
someone's pain, it become compassion." - Stephen Levine

______________________________________________________________________

Ivanka Jankovic is Holistic Energy Practitioner, the founder of Gaia Holistic Center. Ivanka
facilitates lasting change for growth oriented or spiritually minded people who feel
overwhelmed, fatigued, frustrated and stuck. Through their work with Ivanka they are able to
finally and permanently reclaim their vitality, create loving relationships and recapture the
Joy they are missing. Visit her web site http://www.gaiahc.com/

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