PASTORAL – shepherding the lost sheep to the green pastures.

Jesus identifies Himself as the Good

Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep (Jn 10, 14-16).

PASTORAL COUNSELING MINISTRY is not just about mastery of therapeutic techniques, it is sharing in
the healing ministry of Jesus. The pastoral individual/family minister is an agent of consolation and
hope. His standard: a return to the Good News (the uphill climb of the radical call to LOVE).

I am imperfect, so there must be a realization that not all is perfect.

3 AREAS OF COUNSELING

1. COMPASSION (Grieve): “I know my sheep and my sheep know me.”

a. I heard the cries of my people; looking for what is missing; identifying gap holes;
ventilating blame or shame (Kaya lang, Malas)
2. CLARIFICATION (Believe): “I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must lead them
too and they shall hear my voice.”
a. Articulating common dreams and hopes (from blame to aim) (hole to pole)
3. COLLABORATION (Achieve): “There shall be one flock then, one shepherd.”
a. From fragmentation to integration; from blame to aim to tame; from holes to poles to
roles (Kakayanin natin, malay natin).

COUNSELOR’S STARTER PACK

 Enter into the story of Jesus

 Enter into the rosary of the mysteries of Jesus, through Mary.
 Becoming a witness or a presence to a relationship-guiding, discerning in the movements of life,
away or towards life in God (greater love).

1. MINDFULNESS (Space to observe reality)

Notice vs distraction, emotions (feelings), thoughts (delusions), desires (wants vs passions vs

compassion), impulses, urges, seductions

2. AWAKE-INSIDE OUT

 Is it OKAY? (Validation)
 Are you hearing/listening to me? (Developmental needs)

10 LESSONS FOR COUNSELING

1. Follow the Pain (Empathy)

 Give voice to the History/Story of the Pain
 Identify: Fears, anxiety, losses, insecurity, helplessness, trauma
 Lesson: Name the Pain; Claim the Pain
 Example: Anna O. the Pyromaniac kid and the Kid’s mom
 LISTEN TO THE DISGUSTING PART
2. Chart Stimulus-Response
 Know the triggers and the destructive behaviors. Chart the times when the addiction is
awaken. What is the stimulus to the response?
 Lesson: Learn good habits or stay with bad habits
 3. Check Tattoo of the Mind
 Be aware of self-defeating thoughts/overly emotional reactions/destructive behaviors
 Disaster is a loss of a star (MEANING)
 Lesson: Your thoughts can imprison or liberate you.
4. Spot inconsistency between the Ideal and Real
 What stands in the way/blocks to accomplishing or achieving my goals?
 The longest journey is from the head to the heart to the hands. Or, that we have not
started yet.
 Lesson: There is a distinction between what is expected and what is implemented.
 CHOICE
5. You are Free to be Open or Withhold
 You can freely and fully own your emotional desire (not just acting out!)
 Responsible choice; YOU ARE FREE TO BE SHALLOW OR DEEP.
 Lesson: You have a choice to discern or just be carried by impulse
 BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE.
6. Be Who you are meant to Be
 Congruence, define your healthy ego
 Look for meaning/purpose/burning bush; define what is important/ valuable or spiritual
resource is. What is the person willing to live for?
 Lesson: Discover what is burning in your heart.
7. Carry the Flag
 Who will be in charge for change? Responsibility is to make a choice , what to do,
something of higher value
 Choose your battle/ what can you do.
 Lesson: Someone will have to make it happen
8. Roll with Resistance
 People have different pacing for change
 Hard to let go of something you derive some benefit or gain (What is keeping you
holding on?)
 Change is incremental
 Lesson: Be Patient with change
9. Visualize Change
 Look for metaphor or symbols
 These are more powerful tools for change
 Lesson: If you can dream it, you can achieve it.
10. Be a Blessing
 Identify, continue constructive or best practices or strengths of the person
 Learn the best from the past and respond to the needs of the present
 Lesson: Bring out the best in people and allow them to shine.

WHAT IS COUNSELING according to CARL ROGERS?

1. Process
2. Observing Nature (Stages)
3. Like a midwife (metaphor) – accompanying the birth of a person
 4. Growth, change, becoming a person – verbalizing not knowing where to start, being lost,
inconsistencies of thoughts, expectations and real feelings, ambivalence (negative: fears, hatred;
positive: deep affection, tenderness), ashamed of self.
5. Like Putting things together, Clarifying inner Life – denials, changing thoughts and feelings,
turbulent waves of surface thoughts and feelings, then, taking more responsibility to one’s self
making more decisions, acceptance. . . at peace with.
6. Mirror of the Inner Life – role of the counselor

ESTABLISHING A RELATIONSHIP

1. Unconditional Positive Regard – start with positivity

2. Empathy – able to enter the perspective of the person
3. Congruence – integration

LISTENING – mirror the inner self (empathy)

FOCUS (abbr. with meaning)

F = Face with Confidence; calmness; faith to openness

Tips: Crisis, Empty yourself (open disposition)