TRAINER’S TRAINING

ON

PARENTS’ EFFECTIVENESS SERVICE

DAY 1 - May 21, 2013 (Tuesday)

First Speaker - Ms. Marietta S. Legaspi

CSWD Officer

PROGRAM INTRODUCTION

Parent Effectiveness Service (PES) - is the provision and

expansion of knowledge and skills of parents and caregivers on parenting to be able
to respond to parental duties and responsibilities on the areas of early childhood
development, behavior ,management of younger and older children, husband-wife
relationships, prevention of child abuse, health care and other challenges of
parenting. It assists parents and parent substitutes to develop and strengthen
their child’s growth and development.

OBJECTIVES:

General Objective

 To help parents substitutes assume major educational role in the child’s

rearing, growth and development.

Specific Objectives:

1. That parents/caregivers acquire understanding of their own self, their

strengths and weaknesses and should be able to define their
characteristics in relation to their role as parents.
 2. That parents should be able to define family, it’s importance, it’s
functions and how it affects and influences the development of children’s
values and behavior.
3. That parents fully understand the meaning of parenting and it’s impact on
growth and development of children and should take on their parenting
roles with heightened awareness and sense of responsibility.
4. That parents/caregivers should acquire knowledge on child’s growth and
development and they understand that both parents should become
actively involved in providing stimulating and developmentally appropriate
activities and practices for their children.
5. That parents acquire knowledge on the rights of the child and on their
responsibilities as parents and look at it as the key approach to the
prevention of child abuse.
6. That parents acquire and apply appropriate knowledge and skills on
behavior management of younger and older children by studying the
causes of misbehavior and determining ways to prevent misbehavior.
7. That parents acquire and practice their knowledge on health care, i.e.,
immunization breastfeeding, oral rehydration, growth monitoring, herbal
medicine, common childhood ailments and prevention of early detection of
childhood disabilities.
8. That parents acquire knowledge and skills on house management which will
include time management, financial management and basic stress
management.
9. That parents know and explain the importance of protecting the
environment of the community and identify practical ways to care and
protect the environment at home.

Second Speaker - Ms. Maribel V. Gucela

SWO III

Topic: UNDERSTAND MYSELF AS A PERSON

Objectives:

The parents should be able to:

  Identify individual strength and weaknesses
 Describe the factors that affect characteristics of a person
 Clarify family values and goals to better fulfill parental roles

I. Basic Strengths of an Individual

 Capability to think, to love, to improve

 Capability to fulfill one’s goal and aspirations
 Freedom and responsibility
 Uniqueness
 Sociability

II. Basic Weaknesses of an Individual

 Too much pride

 Selfishness
 Laziness
 Irresponsible
 Inconsistent to others
 Bad habits and vices
 Lack of education

III. Factors Affecting One’s Characteristics as a Person

 Individual and family

 Personality Traits
 Childhood experiences
 Personal and family goals

IV. Family Values

 Loving Thankfulness
 Faith Worship
 Praise Humility
 Trust Dedication
 Resourcefulness Courage
 Responsibility Perseverance
 Cooperation Purposefulness
  Commitment Prayerfulness
 compassion Goodness
 Repentance Conviction
 Forgiveness

I. Goals of Parents
 Raise a healthy, happy family
 Give children proper education
 Train children to be good and responsible citizens
 Provide security to the family
 Practice Godliness at home

Learning Points:

You can understand yourself better as a person if:

- You are aware of your individual personality traits

- Establish a good and honest relationship with each other
- Deal with your past, face the challenges of the present and prepare for your
future
- Re-define your family values
- Examine your parenting roles and responsibilities
- Clarify and establish your family goals

Recognize your basic strengths as a person

- you have the capacity to think and recognize what is right and wrong
- capacity to improve yourself
- you have rights as a person
- you have the freedom to fulfill your aspirations and goals
- you know your responsibilities toward yourself

Self-concept - is a subjective description of who we think we are.

Self-discovery - is a continuous process knowing who we are is a big step
towards becoming a parent that the Supreme Being designed us
to be.

Self-acceptance - is loving who you are now. This is a contract with

yourself to love and accept who you are at this very moment even those
weaknesses you’d like to change eventually. Self-esteem therefore, is
something that grows throughout the person’s life. It is, believing in
yourself, an ability to see inner good qualities. If you honor your personal
strengths, you will be equipped to raise your children and love them the way
they were intended to be loved. Do not waste time in showing all the love you
can give.

Awareness - is the first step in understanding why we feel and

why we behave as we behave. This grants us the freedom and the
opportunity to identify things we want to change about ourselves and
creates the life we want

Internal influences - refers to our gauge of who we are.

External Influences - refers to the outside factors affecting who

we are which include the following:
1. Parenting Style- the way we brought up by our parents
2. Interaction - dealings with other people
3. Education - includes both formal and non-formal
4. Culture - refers to patterns of behavior, attitudes, values,
beliefs and traditions.
5. Experience - significant events in our life
6. Science and Technology - information technology and media
influence

Building Positive Self-Esteem as a Father

Self-esteem - is how a person feels and thinks about himself. It

may be positive or negative. It develops overtime. However, it constantly
 changes. Positive experiences and fulfilling relationships can help raise self-
esteem. Negative experiences and troubled relationships contribute to low
self-esteem. Factors that influences one’s self esteem are our early
childhood experiences personal relationships at home, school, community,
jobs and patterns of social life. It is very important because it has direct
bearing on one’s life particularly as parents. Parents with self-esteem are
more productive and fully functioning than those who have low self-esteem
and have no direction in life.
- A person with high self-esteem has a quiet sense of self-respect. He knows
his value. However, a person with low self-esteem is an insecure person. He
doesn’t see his value or worth.
- To consider one’s self-esteem, one must start to look first at himself and
build on one’s self-esteem, one’s strengths.
- To improve one’s self-esteem one must begin at accepting oneself-one’s
weaknesses and strengths. There is a need to praise oneself and nurture the
feeling of love and trust.
- Learn to value your abilities and be realistic in assessing yourself.

Me, Myself and I

- Each of us has been created uniquely with talents and special qualities that
set us apart from others.
- Everyone of us has a basic need and craving himself to “feel good” about
ourselves.
- Self-esteem is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect

UNDERSTANDING MYSELF AS A PERSON

1. You are a rationale being. You have the capability in honing your qualities. You
have the right and freedom to act and improve and fulfill your aspirations in
life. But this right and freedom has accompanying responsibilities towards
yourself, others and God.
 2. Your values personality traits, childhood experiences personal and family
goals affects one’s characteristics as a person and more important of your
role as a father. You are a unique person and able to relate with others.
3. You have specific purpose and mission in life and that purpose and mission
provides meaning and direction in your life. You may be more of spiritual, you
may be a man of knowledge, you may be a man of values and you may be a man
of love. All these dimensions in life affect your course of action in life.
Defining that purpose and mission in life provides meaning in one’s existence
as a person and as a father.
4. Knowing yourself and knowing your strengths and weaknesses is your first
step in becoming an effective father. Realizing your own limitations helps you
consider things that will affect you in performing your roles as a father. You
build yourself by enhancing your strengths and working on your limitations
and weaknesses.

Day 2 - May 22, 2013 (Wednesday)

Speaker - Ms. Lorna D. Gordo

SWO III

THE FILIPINO FAMILY

I. DEFINITION OF FAMILY
Your family serves as the basic unit of society. Your membership
in the family is acquired either by blood, marriage or adoption.
II. IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

Your family is your source of security, belongingness, emotional

and economic growth.
 Your family is your child’s immediate environment and serves as the
foundation for their physical, social, mental, emotional, and moral
well-being.

III. FUNCTIONS OF THE FAMILY

The main function of your family is to provide total care for the
children; prepare them for adult roles; provide discipline and order;
and maintain high morale and strong motivation.

BASIC FILIPINO VALUES

 The way you relate with your children, spouse and other people can
be traced from your family origin.
 These patterns of interaction include role performance, relational
status, communication, ability to cope with stress, decision-making,
socialization and leadership in the family.
 Your values become the values of your family- including the positive
and negative values. Examples: close family ties, high regard for
elders, obedience, independence, strong sense of saving or “hiya”,
etc.
 Your family is very important to you
 The highest value in
A. Physical maintenance and care
B. Procreation/adoption
C. Socialization
D. Social Control
E. Social placement
F. Maintenance of family morale and motivation.

IV. CHARACTERISTICS OF FILIPINO FAMILY

 A. Patterns of social interaction in Filipino family
1. Basically nuclear and extended
2. Monogamous
3. Close and strong family ties
4. Paternal leadership
5. Not too open in communication
6. Others
B. Basic Filipino Family Values
1. Strong and close family ties
2. Hospitality
3. Social Acceptance
4. High respect and regards to others
5. Others
V. Threats and Challenges Confronting the Filipino Family
A. Increasing number of working mothers
B. Loosening of kinship ties
C. Loosening of social contact
D. Growing independence of young children
E. Rising incidence of drug abuse, juvenile delinquency, and
teenage pregnancy
F. Domestic and community violence
G. Others

The rights of the child can be clustered into four (4) categories:

1. SURVIVAL - the right of a child to live. This includes food,

health, shelter and clothing.
2. DEVELOPMENT - the right of a child to attain his full potential.
3. PROTECTION - the right of a child to be supported and
protected. This includes protection from mental, physical or sexual
abuse, neglect and exploitation.
4. PARTICIPATION- the right of a child to express his feelings and
thoughts.
RESPONSIBILITIES OF A CHILD

Every child regardless of the circumstances of his birth, sex, religion,

social status, political antecedents and other factor shall:

1. Strive to lead an upright and virtuous life.

2. Love, respect and obey his parents and cooperate with them in the
strengthening of the family.
3. Extend to his brothers and sisters his love, thoughtfulness and
endeavor with them to keep the family harmonious and united.
4. Exert his utmost to develop his potentials to service, particularly by
undergoing a formal education.
5. Respect not only his elders but also the customs and traditions of our
people, the laws of the country.
6. Participate actively in civic affairs and in the promotion of the general
welfare.
7. Help in the observance of individual human rights, the strengthening
of freedom everywhere.

DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS

1. Provision of physical care and love

2. Incalculating discipline
3. Developing social competence
4. Education
5. Citizenship training
6. Teaching the wise use of money
7. Financial aspect of responsibility
8. Spiritual formation

LIABILITIES OF PARENTS

Article 59 - CRIMES

Criminal liability shall attach to any person who:

 1. Conceals or abandons the child with intent to make such child lose his
civil status.
2. Abandons the child under such circumstances as to deprive him of the
love, care and protection he needs.
3. Sells or abandons the child to another person for valuable
consideration
4. Neglects the child by not giving him the education which the family
station in life and financial conditions permit.
5. Fails or refuses, without justifiable grounds to enroll the child.
6. Causes, abets, or permits the truancy of the child from the school
where he is enrolled.

Truancy - means absence without cause for more than twenty

school days not necessarily consecutive.

7. Improperly exploits the child by using him, directly or indirectly such

as for the purposes of begging and other acts which are inimical to his
interest and welfare.
8. Inflicts cruel and unusual punishments that embarrass or humiliate
him.
9. Causes or encourages the child to lead an immoral or dissolute life.
10.Permits the child to posses, handle or carry a deadly weapon
regardless of his ownership.
11. Allows or requires the child to drive without a license or with a license
which the parents knows to have or illegally procured.

Article 60. - PENALTY

The acts mentioned in the preceding article shall be punishable with

imprisonment from two to six months or fine not exceeding Five hundred
pesos or both, at the discretion of the court, unless a higher penalty is
provided.
Second Speaker - Ms. Gloria B. Cabacoy

Social Welfare Assistant

Topic: ROLE AS A PARENT

CHALLENGES OF PARENTING

My Role as a Parent

Objectives:

Parent should be able to:

A.) Clarify the meaning of parenting

B.) Analyze the importance of parenting skills
C.) Discuss the 3 basic needs of children
D.) Know parent’s roles as caregivers in the family
E.) Identify the appropriate behaviors that can help the children

I. Parenting - means raising children. It takes time, attention,

patience, strength and most especially love.
II. Importance of Learning Parenting Skills
 To ensure best possible developments of children
 Be better prepared in dealing with trials and triumph of child rearing
 Parenting skills are necessary to help meet the children’s needs

III. 3 Basic Needs

A. Physical needs
1. Good nutrition (go, grow, glow foods)
2. Shelter
3. Safety
4. Medical care
5. Rest, exercise and recreation
B. Emotional needs
1. Love
2. Acceptance
3. Security
 4. Praise
C. Intellectual needs
1. Open communication with your children
2. Concern for your child’s education
3. Mental stimulation or creativity
4. Provision for learning aids

IV. Roles as a Caregiver

1. Total caretaker (feeding, dressing,cuddling)
2. Teacher (explain things, answer questions)
3. Counselor ( support them in good and bad times)
V. Appropriate Behaviors to Guide Children
1. Discipline with love
2. Teach social skills
3. Encourage independence
4. Deal with frustrations
5. Communicate openly and constantly
6. Be a model for your child

PARENTING STYLES

A. Permissive – Indulgent
- This means that your child can manipulate you because you always follow the
desires and whims of your child.
- You are easily carried away when your child cries, you feel angry and
depressed if she rebels.
- Usually becomes impulsive and aggressive, low in self-reliance and
achievement orientation domineering.

B. Authoritative - domineering
- All your words and rules must be followed without complaint by your
children.
- you don’t listen to their words and feelings
- Obedience is of prime importance to you.
Your child usually becomes fearful, moody, unhappy, passive, hostile,
withdrawn and irritable.
 C. Democratic
- This means you practice open communication with your children
- You don’t easily get mad at their misbehavior
- You try to find meaning and reason in the acts and ways of your child
- You listen to their opinion and feeling.
- You discuss rules and conducts that should be observe in the house.
- Child usually becomes friendly, self-reliant, cooperative and
achievement oriented

D. Neglectful
- you perceive your children to be of secondary importance in your life.
- You don’t give so much care and concern to your children.
- You usually entrust the needs and problems of the children to
themselves or to other members of the house.
- You have trained your child to give time and attention to material
things, career, friends, hobbies, vices and other interest.
- They are emotionally immature, easily influenced by others.
- Experiences in your own family values and beliefs and quality of marital
relationship of parents.

Third Speaker - Ms. Myrna R. Eisma

Social Welfare Officer III

Topic: HOME MANAGEMENT

HOME MANAGEMENT

- is a day to day activity of married couple as soon as they start their

lives together.

MANAGEMENT
 - is the process of planning the use of resources in order to get the
desired output. These resources include time, energy, money, material
goods, knowledge and skills. Beyond these basic needs, family goals may
include, among others, the maintenance of health, education of
children, security for the future, and the full development.

MANAGEMENT ACTIVITIES

 Management activities of the couple begin from the time they wake
up to the time they go to bed.
 It can possibly increase their performances and their productivity
at work and in the home. This will help reduce stress.
 The best place to start is to manage the couple’s time better.
Problems in activities management usually come from poor work
habit.

FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

Budgeting of Money

 Money is a very important resource that needs a careful

management.
 The family has to provide the basic needs of the family members
which include food, housing, transportations, water, recreation,
clothing, medical and dental needs, education and electricity, among
others.
 Family needs are numerous but family resources are often limited.
 A common complain among married couple is that, whatever they do,
their money seems to be always lacking. It seems they are never
able to earn enough for their needs.

BUDGETING
  Budgeting should be a joint decision-making between husband and
wife. This will provide a constant consultation and communications
regarding matters that will affect them and their family.
 Budgeting not only the money but also the time together.

TIPS ON COST-CUTTING MEASURES

 Buy Wisely. Wise buying is the art of getting goods which satisfy
one’s needs at a minimum amount of time, energy and money. It is
getting the most out of limited resources.
 Learn to say “no” to sales, people who encourage “hulugan”. Establish
priorities and resort to “hulugan” only for very important items.
 Avoid smoking, drinking liquor, gambling, junkfoods. Aside from
helping one to be healthy, it can also allow savings.
 Learn to recycle food, clothing and other items. Be creative in
cooking; learn how to sew and other means of reusing other waste
materials at home.
 Walk instead of taking a ride when a destination is a short distance
away. Aside from saving, the walk will provide exercise which is
good for the health.
 Plant vegetables in the backyard/pots. Vegetables will always be
fresh and the excess can be sold for extra money.
 Include savings in the budget items.
 Conserve energy and water.
 If there is a baby, breastfeed him/her. This is good for the baby’s
health and for closer bonding between the mother and the baby.
 Learn to live within the means.
 Do not overcook food. It is a waste of fuel. In case of illness, get
medical care on time to prevent complications. Complication means
greater expense.
 A fiesta, birthday or family reunion as an establish tradition may be
celebrated but not lavishly. Simple but attractive meals may be
served.
  Avoid getting near to things that will tempt you to spend. Stay away
from stores except when there is absolute need to buy. Avoid “just
looking”. Browsing can lead to buying. Make a list and stick to it.
 Plan shopping with a purpose in mind. Use that list. Extras that are
not really needed can add to the total at the cash register.
 Limit the number of trips to the store or to the market.
 Shopping when one is hungry, tired, or depressed can be a tendency
to over spend. Before spending money, think through the decision-
making process.

Day 3 - May 23, 2013 (Thursday)

First Speaker - Ms. Imelda Dadulla

SWO IV

Topic: STRENGTHENING HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP

STENGTHENING PARENT AND CHILD RELATIONSHIP

 Marriage- is the initial step in the formation of families. It is

a crucial step. It marks the time when a man and a woman live
together, commit themselves and vow to love and cherish each
other.
 Relationship of husband and wife can be heaven and hell depending
on the efforts of two partners. In order to be kept VIBRANT,
EXCITING and ALIVE, it has to be nurtured and cared.
1. Realistic- face the reality (pleasant or unpleasant)
2. Independent- capable of making up his own mind. He knows
what he wants in life, has the will to pursue and willing to accept
responsibility.
 3. Gives and receives love- caring for others, recipient of
care and attention.
4. Ability to handle strong feeling- able to control anger and
channel it to non-destructive outlet.
5. Has long range of view- decides in a mature manner and has
plan for the future.
6. Is able to relax - knows how to enjoy life and have fun
without feeling guilty.
7. Interested in self-development- strives to develop his/her
talents and capabilities.
8. Able to communicate regularly- develop sensitivity and
compassion.
9. Understand each other.
10. Verbalization of love in a daily basis
11. Ask God’s help always- with Him, couples can stay
together to a full, happy and rewarding life.

HOW TO POINT OUT MISTAKES TO YOUR SPOUSE

1. Stay away from sensitive subjects to begin with.

2. Choose a right time before bringing up the subject.
3. Avoid speaking like a parent punishing a child.
4. Remember that we can’t change someone by getting angry, criticizing
etc.

LIST OF WISHES

I wish my husband would:

1. Expresses appreciation of what I’m doing at home.

2. Helps me with some household chores.
3. Gives chance to every family member to talk/explain.
4. Remembers the significant occasions of our married life, as he did
during the days of courtship.
 5. Be nice to me the whole day, especially when he wanted to date me in
the bedroom.

LIST OF WISHES

I wish my wife would:

1. Appreciates my efforts in making the family live comfortably.

2. Sees the good side in me rather than nags me about my weaknesses
most of the time.
3. Be my good critic, instead of revealing it to other people.
4. Keep herself attractive and physically fit.
5. Be sweet and nice in speaking to have a pleasant atmosphere at home.

CONCLUSION:

 TRUE SUCCESS in the family is measured by the quality of

relationship among its members. It is not on the amount of money
we saved, the size of the house we have, nor on the properties
acquired.
 It depends on how good parents and children communicated,
understand and supported each other.
 Being calm makes a relationship work better. Peaceful atmosphere
at home will make the members more cooperative, loving and
respectful.
 Mutual respect generates calmness and cooperation. Talk to the
members of the family with respect. They deserve respect as you
do.

Money is just a means to attain good relationship with your spouse or with
your children, but it is not the best and ultimate means.

Money can buy:

- A house but not a home

- Medicine but not health
 - A bed but not sleep
- Books but not brains
- Food but not appetite
- Luxury and comfort but not happiness

REMEMBER:

Psalm 127:1

“If the LORD does not build the house,

the work of the builders is useless;

If the LORD does not protect the city,

it does no good for the sentries to stand guard”.

STRENGTHENING PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

Children are blessings from God and parents should treasure those blessings.
The best way we can show our gratitude for these blessings is to take
special care of them.

Here are 10 simple tips for enhancing the bond between parent and child

1. SAY I LOVE
Tell your child you love him/her everyday no matter his/her age. Even
on trying days or after a parent-child disagreement, when you don’t
 exactly “like your child” at that moment, it is more important than ever
to express your love. A simple “ I love you “ goes a long way toward
developing and then strengthening a relationship.
2. TEACH YOUR FAITH

A Teach your child about your faith and beliefs. Tell them you believe
and why. Allow time for your child to ask questions and answer them
honestly. Reinforce those teaching often.

3. ESTABLISH A SPECIAL NAME OR CODE WORD

Create a special name of your child that is positive or a secret code
word that you can use between each other. Use the name as simple
reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have
special meaning between your child and you that only you two
understand. This code word can even be used to extract a child from
an uncomfortable situation (such as sleepover that is not going well)
without causing undue embarrassment to the child.
4. DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN A SPECIAL BEDTIME RITUAL
For younger children, reading a favorite bedtime or telling stories is a
ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. Older
children should not be neglected either. Once children start reading,
have them read a page, chapter, or short book to you. Even most
teenagers still enjoy the ritual of being told goodnight in a special way
by a parent-even if they don’t act like it.
5. LET YOUR CHILDREN HELP YOU
Parents sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge
closer relationship by not allowing their child to help them with various
tasks and chores. Unloading groceries after going to the store is a
good example of something that children of most ages can and should
assist with. Choosing which shoes look better with your dress, let a
child know you value her opinion. Of course, if you ask, be prepared to
accept and live with the choice made.
6. PLAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN
 The key is to really play with your children. Play with dolls, ball, make
believe, checkers, sing songs, or whatever is fun playing about
anything…as long as it involves you.
7. EAT MEALS AS A FAMILY
You heard these before, and it really is important. Eating together
sets the stage for conversation and sharing. Turn the TV off, and
don’t rush through a meal. When schedules permit, really talk and
enjoy one another. It can become a quality time most remembered by
young and old alike.
8. SEEK OUT ONE-ON-ONE OPPORTUNITIES OFTEN

Some parents have special nights or “standing dates” with their

children to create that one-on-one opportunity. Whether it is a walk
around the neighborhood, a special trip to a playground, or just a movie
night with just the two of you, it is important to celebrate each child
individually. Although it is more of a challenge, the more children in
family, it is really achievable. Think creatively and the opportunities
created will be once that you remember in the future.

9. RESPECT THEIR CHOICES

You don’t have to like their mismatched shirt and shorts or love how a
child has placed pictures in his room. However, it is important to
respect those choices. Children reach out for independence at a young
age, and parents can help to foster those decision-making skills by
being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. After all,
it really is okay if a child goes to daycare with a striped green shirt
and pink shorts.
10.MAKE THEM A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE
Your children need to know that you believe they are a priority in your
life. Children can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel
you are not paying them attention. Sometimes, part of being a parent
is not worrying about the small stuff and enjoying your children. They
 grow up so fast and everyday is special. Take advantage of your
precious time together while you have it.

BUILDING/STRENGHTEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR

CHILD
 Thorough knowledge of your child’s personality, behavior, attitude,
interest, hopes and dreams.
 Unconditional acceptance and respect of your child’s uniqueness as
person.
 Communicate effectively by listening and understanding your child’s
feeling and thoughts.
 Practice emphatic listening by putting yourself in child’s situation.
 Be alert and respond to your child’s non-verbal messages like eye
movement, gestures, facial expression, tone voice, physical
appearance, etc.
 Put aside time for your child and play or spend time with his/her
favorite toy or past time.
 Promote independence by giving freedom to explore the world as
appropriate for their age.
 Give opportunities for them explore option solving their problems.

THE FOLLOWING OVERCOMES FAMILY THREATS AND CHALLENGES

NO MATTER HOW ENORMOUS:

 Open and honest communication with your children should always be

encourage
 Violence or any form of abuse should not be tolerated.
 Empowerment of family members
 Relationship of family members must be strengthened.
 Communication, relationship, decision-making and problem-solving
skills of family members should be developed and harnessed.
 Care for the environment.
 Outings or get-togethers with the family should be done regularly.
 Media exposures of the children should be closely monitored.
 Economic activities that contribute to family welfare should be
ensured.
 Spirituality of family members should be nurtured.

ELEMENTS IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN A HARMONIOUS

RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CHILDREN

 LOVE

Parents who shower their children with care and affection

demonstrate their love for their children, thus, children gain self-
confidence, respect and development of their talents and potentials to
the fullest. This manifestation of love for their children will eventually
bear fruit in the future.

 OBEDIENCE
Obedience to parental authority should be inculcated during infancy
and cultivated throughout adolescence. Even early in life, children
should be taught to obey their parents, to respect their word, and
show respect for authority.

Children are not to be indulged and allowed to think that they can
follow their own desires without asking the advice of their parents.
 RESPECT
It is important for parents to respect children’s choices as they
reach out for independence at a young age, as this signals the start
of the decision-making stage. Parents can help foster these
decision-making skills by being supportive and respecting their
children’s attempts to achieve independence and in establishing
their own identity.

 PRIORITIZATION
 Children need to know that they are top priorities in parent’s lives.
Parents need to pay attention to their children’s needs.

How parents spend their time with their children, serves as an

important factor in molding the character and personality of
children. This can strengthened the bond between parents and
children.

 LOVE/FEAR OF GOD
This involves teaching children how to love, respect and obey the
commandments of God. Parents who are God-fearing need to teach
their children that everything comes from God. It is the
responsibility of the parents to bring their children closer to the
Almighty. Parents may lead or encourage their children to
participate in church activities.

 COMMUNICATION
Frequent communication or constant dialogue with the children will
help in inculcating the values of love, happiness, and sacrifice.
Parents are reminded to teach children that emotions should not
control them (especially the feelings of sadness, fear, anger, pride
and embarrassment) but that their children should be the one to
control their emotions.

Parents need to be open and available to hear questions on any topic

when needed. Encourage your children to express themselves by
talking about their thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals and dreams and
listen with genuine interest.

 FORGIVE AND FORGET

When parents and children understand each others’ strengths and
weaknesses, harmonious relationships are to be expected.
 Statements like “I’m sorry”, “forgive me”, “please understand me”,
are string of words that need to be taught to children.

Past mistake may also be shared with our children. This can help our
children in learning from our mistakes, and in the process, they can
avoid committing the same mistakes, too.

 DISCIPLINING CHILDREN
Studies shows that punishments like hitting, slapping and cursing
are not effective. While such punishment may seem to get fast
results, in the long term it is more harmful than helpful. This can
discourage and embarrass children/teens and develop low self-
esteem. Instead of hitting and slapping and cursing to correct
behavior or discipline children, our children need to be taught what
behavior is acceptable or not and why is it so.

Parents should stress the Do’s rather than the Don’ts.

To discipline the children, parents should inculcate positive values

to help children develop their self-confidence in making choices in
life.

SOME IMPORTANT PRINCIPLES ON PARENTING

“Be Consistent”
Be consistent
Express how much you love your children
Communicate actively and clearly
Choose your words carefully and maintain a sense of humor
Offer positive suggestions and options
Never criticize your child, focus on his/her behavior.
Never give complicated or unreasonable rules.
Set limits but be careful not to impose too many rules.
Involve in children as much as possible in making family rules and
decisions.
Show a good example.
Take time to praise a child for his/her good behavior and
accomplishments.
Encourage responsibility and independence.
Nurture your child’s self-confidence
Tell your child about a behavior that is annoying to you and to
others.

Ways to help children say “NO”

1. Educate them
2. Listen intently to your children
3. Make them feel good about themselves
4. Never use put-down words
5. Praise them for their efforts and accomplishment
6. Do not dwell on failures
7. Be a model for your kids be being vice-free and morally upright
8. Support your kids especially when they are faced with peer
pressure
Remember:

The real meaning of family is to have a good Parent and child

relationship at home.
As Parents don’t replace your presence with material or with the
latest gadgets.
Absence of Parents and God in our home destroys the solidarity
of the family.
 If a child feels secure of a parent’s affection, confidence and
good relationship will develop naturally.

Second Speaker - Ms. Otilla A. Miaga

SWO III

Topic: CHILD DEVELOPMENT

INTRODUCTION

This session introduces you to different stages of child development.

It will help you understand better the different stages of growth and
development of the children as well as the differences and changes
manifested in these stages. It will also tackle the four major areas of child
development for you to fully appreciate the individuality of your child.

OBJECTIVES

The parent should be able to:

 Explain the meaning of child growth and development

 Identify the five major domains of child development.
 Describe the different ways through which a child learns.

GROWTH - refers mainly to changes in physical size.

DEVELOPMENT - involves character changes in complexity and

function, from immature to mature behavior, from simple to complex.

CHILD DEVELOPMENT - it refers to the evolution of a human

being from a dependent child to an independent child.

- Is a process of change in which the child learned to handle more

complex levels of moving, thinking, feeling and interacting with people
and objects in the environment.

KEY LEARNING POINTS

 Growth primarily refers to change in size, height, weight or what

simply refers to as physical growth.
 Development refers to change that is usually from the very simple
to complex function, e.g. muscle development from crawling of 6
months old to walking by a one-year old;
 Child development refers to the process that a child goes through
to increase his/her motor, cognitive, affective and social skills.
 It is a process of change in which the child learns to handle more
complex levels of moving, thinking, feeling and interacting with
people and objects.

SYNTHESIS
 Both physical growth and developmental changes of the children are
important. If you neglect one aspect of the other, the child will be physically
abnormal, unhappy or unsuccessful as a person

As parents, we should always nurture both needs of the children.

FIVE MAJOR DOMAINS OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT

 Physical dimension - the ability to move and coordinate

 Social dimension - the ability to relate to others
 Cognitive/intellectual dimension - the ability to think and learn
 Emotional Dimension - the ability to develop positive feelings
for self and others.
 Moral and Spiritual - the ability to understand goodness and
live a good life.

KEY LEARNING POINTS

 Your child development is complex. It is determined by multiple

factors from the very beginning of life.
 Your baby has five senses - sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch.
These are all working from the moment he/she was born.
 Your children grow and develop differently from one another due to
environmental influences.
 Good health and nutrition, affection and mental stimulation,
security and moral support are very important to your children’s
growth and development.
 To facilitate or maximize your children’s learning: satisfy all five
senses by providing concrete experiences, play or other forms of
interactions and activities.

SYNTHESIS

 Although your children grow according to the same pattern, they

each develop at their own unique way and pace.
  As parents, you play a major role in facilitating your children’s
development by providing a stimulating environment.

NOTICEABLE CHANGE AMONG CHILDREN AGES 0 TO 6 YEARS OLD

1. Development begins at pre-natal stage and learning even at birth.

2. Development has several inter-related dimensions.
3. Development proceeds in predictable steps and learning in recognized
sequence. There is a great deal of individuality and social variability in
children rates of development and styles of learning.
4. Development and learning occur continuously be a result of the child
interacting with people and objects in his/her environment.
5. Children are active participants in their own development and learning.

BASIC PRINCIPLES IN UNDERSTANDING CHILD DEVELOPMENT

 All children are different from one another. They have different
personalities, potentialities, temperamental dispositions, reaction,
and rates of development.
 Children are generally the same in the way they tend to follow same
sequence of development. However, gender and living condition will
significantly influence development.
 Within the family and in the community, the basic requirement for
the child to develop fully as a person, living in a stable environment
with predictable events and people by adults providing the basic
needs of growing children.

DIFFERENT WAYS A CHILD LEARNS

A child learns through doing- through interaction with people and

things. There are several basic principles about the way children learn that
they are aptly called the “fundamentals of early learning”.
 1. From birth, children construct their own knowledge and understanding
of the word through repeated interactions with people, objects and
events in their environment.
2. Children learn through social interaction with adults and other
children.
3. Children’s learning reflects a recurring cycle that begins in awareness
and moves to exploration, to inquiry and finally to utilization.
4. Children learn through play.
5. Children’s interests and “need to know” motivate learning.
6. Child development and learning are characterized by individual
variations.

PLAY AND CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

During the early years, learning is especially active. It involves physical

exploration- touching, testing, hearing, seeing and moving. Children learn by
doing, by experimenting with materials and through the language they learn
from talking with and listening to each other and adults.

PLAY ENHANCES AND FOSTERS CHILDREN’S OVERALL

DEVELOPMENT IN THE AREAS BELOW:

1. Social development - is done through interacting with others.

2. Emotional development - children work through their feelings.
3. Intellectual development - children practice language skills to
try out new ideas, create situations and solve problems.
4. Physical development - children develop small and large muscle
skills and eye/hand coordination as they play with various objects.

FOUR AREAS OF CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Child development is multi-dimensional, integral and simultaneous. It

involves physical, mental/emotional and social dimensions.
  Personal/Social dimension - (the ability to relate to others)
focuses on the child’s social and emotional or psychosocial
development.
 Cognitive/Intellectual dimensions- (the ability to think and
learn) addresses intellectual function/thinking skills such as
reasoning, problem-solving and processing knowledge including
concepts of number and time.
 Emotional Dimension- (the ability to develop positive feelings
for self and for others) is influenced by the people and objects in
the child’s environment. It takes a long time for children to develop
understanding for their own anger, jealousy, fear and restlessness.
Parents and caregivers can help infants, toddlers and preschooler
to understand and to deal with emotions. At six years of age,
children can understand explanations about behavior and follow
examples. Children’s ability to show different kinds of emotion is a
sign of healthy development, such as joy, anger, sorrow and
excitement.
 Physical Dimension - (the ability to move and coordinate)
refers to child’s development in gross and fine motor coordination,
strength and stamina. Children become bigger as they get older.
Their growth includes large muscle development to support skills in
running, throwing etc.

Day 4 - May 24, 2013

Speaker: Ms. Melenia G. Demeterio

Topic: BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR YOUNGER

CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS.

INTRODUCTION
 Children are wonderful creatures. As they grow up, they develop
certain behaviors that help meet particular needs at different stages.
As their behaviors change, you will witness them forming into their own
individual selves.

How do young children behave at home? Do they make you angry

when they misbehave? What are their ages? Do you punish them for
misbehaviors? Why? Why not?

OBJECTIVES

 To explain the basic theories on child behavior and to

analyze the behavior of children today.
 To identify causes, ways of handling and preventing young
children’s misbehavior.

EIGHT STAGES OF PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

 Infancy (0-2)
Needs foods, love, rest, recreation, security
Develops trust in others, feel valued, feels a sense that life
is good (hope)

 Early Childhood (2-3)

Child discovers control of himself
Develops autonomy
 Play age (3-6)

Develop certain initiative

Can create and be successful

 School age (6-12)
Discovers that he is part of the society. Learn skills and able
to survive.
Develop industry. Sense that he has valuable contribution to
help others.
 Adolescence (12-19)
Discovers his unique values, personality, with group of peers,
chooses a career.
Develops identity, relating to others and accepting and caring
for others (fidelity)
 Young Adult (19-40)
Discovers his life becomes better
Chooses a partner

 Adult (40-65)
Discovers his life with others. Has grand children, enjoys and
reaps benefit of parenting and working.
Develops generosity. Make positive contribution to life process
(care)
 Mature age (65-death)
He had what he wanted in life. Feels content and satisfied.
Develops integrity, a sense of getting old, coming to terms
with death, life is worthwhile (wisdom)

CAUSES OF MISBEHAVIOR AMONG YOUNG CHILDREN

1. POWER- children most often feel that they are only
significant if they are the boss. They want all their wants
granted. Parents must refrain from getting angry and must
disengage from power struggle. If the power struggle
 continues, the children usually feel they cannot defeat their
parents. Hence, they will pursue to the next goal.
2. REVENGE- revengeful children find their place by being
cruel and disliked. They feel that they are not lovable so
they resort to hurting others to find their meaning.
3. ATTENTION- children desire for attention. They prefer
to gain attention in useful ways. If they are not able to
achieve it, they seek attention in useless ways.
4. DISPLAY OF INADEQUACY- extremely discouraged children
are signs of feelings of inadequacy. They give up hope of
succeeding. To help the child, parents must eliminate all
criticism and focus on the child’s assets and strengths. Parents
must encourage any effort to improve no matter how small it
seems.

BEHAVIORAL MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR YOUNG

CHILDREN

 Time-out is used to present inappropriate behavior to a

quiet area where he does nothing until allowed to return. 1-2
minutes for less serious behavior. This is effective for pre-
school and school-aged children.
 Loss of privilege is taking away privileges like watching TV for one
night or playing outside. This may used when child breaks a rule,
refuses to obey parents or misuse toys.
 Restoration/replacement involves “making up” for an inappropriate
behavior, e.g. give extra chores, use own savings for allowance.
 Rewards encourage appropriate extra time with parents, giving
surprise gifts or “pasalubong” and additional allowance
  Ignoring is used to reduce or eliminate irritating behavior like
tantrums, nagging and interrupting. Paying no attention until the
irritating behavior stops.
 Praise maybe a word, gesture, facial expression or phrase that
encourages children to feel pride and joy. It is a way of giving
positive feedback to increase a child sense of worth and
confidence.
 Modeling is essentially teaching by example.

MISBEHAVIOR OF YOUNG CHILDREN CAN BE PREVENTED BY:

1. Providing proper training for the young child to act inappropriate ways.
Children are like vacuum. They need to be taught properly and
patiently the appropriate ways of behavior.
2. Communicate with them. Talk to your children with respect and treat
like very young adult. Listen to their thoughts and feelings. Never
force your views. Never belittle them.
3. Giving proper attention to their needs. Always be there for your
children. Be attentive and listen to them.
4. Loving them. The most basic and the most important is to love your
children with all your heart, words and deeds. You cannot just say you
love them and be out of sight.

LANGUAGES OF LOVE

1. Affirmation
2. Touch
3. Bonding
4. Service
5. Gift
6. Legacy of faith

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH CRITICISM

HE LEARNS TO CONDEMN

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HOSTILITY

HE LEARNS TO FIGHT

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH FEAR

HE LEARNS TO BE APPREHENSIVE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PITY

HE FEELS SORRY FOR HIMSELF

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RIDICULE

HE LEARNS TO BE SHY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH JEALOUSY

HE LEARNS WHAT ENVY IS.

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHAME

HE LEARNS TO FEEL GUILTY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ENCOURAGEMENT

HE LEARNS TO BE CONFIDENT
IF A CHILD LIVES WITH TOLERANCE

HE LEARNS TO BE PATIENT

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE

HE LEARNS TO BE APPRECIATE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE

HE LEARNS TO LOVE

IF A CHILD WITH APPROVAL

HE LEARNS TO LIKE HIMSELF.

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RECOGNITION

HE LEARNS THAT IT IS GOOD TO HAVE A GOAL

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHARING

HE LEARNS ABOUT GENEROSITY

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HONESTY AND FAIRNESS

HE LEARNS WHAT TRUTH AND JUSTICE ARE

IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SECURITY

HE LEARNS TO HAVE FAITH IN HIMSELF

 AND IN THOSE ABOUT HIM.

IF A CHILD WITH FRIENDLINESS

HE LEARNS THAT THE WORLD IS A NICE

PLACE IN WHICH TO LIVE.

IF YOU LIVE WITH SERENITY

YOUR CHILD WILL LIVE WITH PEACE OF MIND.