CURRICULUM NIGHT: NOV 5TH 2019

RESTORATIVE
PRACTICES
How to help your child grow their empathy, learn to be
independent, and do the right thing

I FEEL STATEMENTS
A TOOL TO HELP CHILDREN EXPRESS THEMSELVES

When children are upset at a situation, please encourage them to use the following sentence
structure:

I feel _______________ when you _____________, so please _________________.

This both enables the speaker to express their emotions directly, connecting to the listeners
empathy, and shifts the focus to the speaker. Shifting the focus to the speaker helps put less
pressure on the listener, which makes it easier for the listener to be open to change, and
hearing the speaker's emotions helps the listener understand why it's important to listen.
Encourage your child to complete the entire statement with an alternative suggestion, rather
than simply asking the person to stop.

Example: I feel annoyed when you shove past me, so please say excuse me if you would
like me to move.
 A great follow up
question for our IB school
is: "Which learner profile
do you think you need to
work on now?"
The questions above can help you talk through
an incident with your child. On the left are
questions that you can ask if your child
instigates the event. On the right are questions
you can ask if your child has been impacted by
an event.

IMPORTANT NOTES

USE NEUTRAL TONES

RESTORATIVE It is important for your child to feel unjudged

QUESTIONS
HOW TO APPROACH CHILDREN
WHEN AN INCIDENT HAS OCCURED
After an incident has occurred, it is important to
talk it over with your child to help them
either express how the event impacted them or
understand the impact their actions had on
others and discuss how to make things right.
and safe. Even if you might be upset with your
child's actions, let your child think through the
incident themself and only help think of ideas
or suggestions if necessary.
ASK "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING", NOT
"WHY DID YOU DO IT"
As a  child or adult it is often difficult to answer
why we chose to do something. To help
children understand their own actions, ask what
they were thinking during the event to help
them sort their thoughts.

CHANGE THE QUESTION WORDING IF YOUR

CHILD HAS DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING
Lower elementary students might not
understand some words, like affected. Please
change the words to help your child
comprehend the question.