Help! Hilary! Help!

By Aaron Shepard
ROLES: Narrators 1–8, Mom, Hilary (female), Bad Guys 1 & 2, (Serpent)
GENRE: Tall tales, humor

MOM: Hilary!
NARRATOR 1: —said her mom.
MOM: Can’t you be more of a help?
HILARY: I was trying!
NARRATOR 8: —said Hilary.
NARRATOR 2: She went to her room and slammed the door. She played with her toys.
MOM: (offstage) Help! Hilary! Help!
NARRATOR 7: It was her mom!
HILARY: (yelling) I’m coming.
NARRATOR 3: Two bad guys were carrying her mom away!
NARRATOR 6: Hilary ran after them down the street.
BAD GUY 1: Look out!
NARRATOR 4: —said one.
BAD GUY 1: That kid is chasing us!
BAD GUY 2: Let’s get out of here fast.
NARRATOR 5: —said the other.
NARRATOR 1: They stuffed her mom in a car and drove off.
MOM: Help! Hilary! Help!
NARRATOR 8: Hilary got in another car and raced after them.
NARRATOR 2: They stopped at an airport and headed for a plane.
NARRATOR 7: Hilary was right behind them.
HILARY: (yelling) Drop my mom! RIGHT NOW!
NARRATOR 3: The bad guys dropped her mom and ran off.
NARRATOR 6: But something swooped down. A giant bird!
NARRATOR 4: It picked up her mom and flew away!
MOM: Help! Hilary! Help!
NARRATOR 5: Hilary got in the plane and took off after the bird.
NARRATOR 1: She flew right above it and climbed down a rope.
NARRATOR 8: But the bird dropped her mom!
MOM: Help! Hilary! Help!
NARRATOR 2: Hilary got back in the plane and flew a loop-de-loop-de-loop.
NARRATOR 7: Her mom landed on top.
HILARY: (yelling) Hold on!
NARRATOR 3: But the wind blew her off!
MOM: Help! Hilary! H-e-l-l-l-l-p!
NARRATOR 6: Hilary jumped from the plane.
NARRATOR 4: They landed in a river.
MOM: SPLASH!
HILARY: SPLASH!
NARRATOR 5: But a waterfall was just ahead!
MOM: Help! Blub. Hilary! Blub. Help!
NARRATOR 1: Hilary grabbed her mom in time and started for shore.
NARRATOR 8: But a giant serpent rose from the water.
NARRATOR 2: It opened its mouth!
MOM: Help! Hilary! EEEEEEEEEEK!
NARRATOR 7: The serpent swallowed them!
NARRATOR 3: On the way down, Hilary tickled its throat.
NARRATOR 6: The serpent coughed, and they flew through the air.
NARRATOR 4: They passed over the town.
NARRATOR 5: They landed in their own backyard.
MOM: Hilary! You’re such a great big HELP!