Batayen, Christian Jade O.

Soc Sci 5 - Understanding Gender

“Gender Socialization: A Building with Two Walls and No Room in Between”

Socialization is a complex process that aims to assimilate an individual into their social
functions. In the gender context, specifically in modern day, it can be seen that gender
socialization is the act of teaching an individual where he or she belongs in the binary, which
were deemed as the default measures. There is an emphasis on the prevalence of the pronouns he
and she, because after all, the majority of social gendering is dependent on a heteronormative
platform. While there are movements that aim to do away with such a rigid upbringing, it is with
no doubt that being a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ is still largely the basis of our social structure.

According to Vinney (2019), socialization is influenced by four key figures in a child’s

development. These agents of socialization are the parents, the teachers, peers, and media. There
are multiple studies that attribute at which age a child is most sensitive to a particular agent’s
influence and what the longevity of these influences are. There are also theories which propose
that gendering is an innate nature, and together with nurture, cultivate a person; such is the
purpose of socialization.

This paper will be descriptive in nature on several instances that gender socialization exists, and
will largely focus on the agents of development of a boy or a girl into his or her respective mold,
but will contain from time to time opinions on where non-cis identities might struggle with.

“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.”

At a gender reveal party, a lovely suburban couple stands before several close friends. An
intimate gathering, sure, and perhaps one of the most momentous occasions for the couple’s life.
A week ago, the wife reached the end of her second trimester and had an ultrasound. It was
shrouded in silence, confidential even to the couple, as per their request. The results were neatly
wrapped inside a brown envelope, and on their way home, they handed it over to a bakeshop.
Now they stand before a beautiful white cake, ready to take a slice and determine their unborn
child’s future.

Pink.

It was pink. And for the rest of her childhood, their daughter was smothered with pink.

Parents will instinctively wish what’s best for their children. Three meals a day, a loving home, a
society that will accept and nurture them- the whole nine yards. It is then their responsibility to
teach their child how to behave according to their assigned sex. At a young age, they’re exposed
to activities that are geared towards opening their interest to act according to their imposed
gender.

This method might be met with some conditioning, where children are rewarded for performing
acts that are considered gender appropriate. This creates a psychological stopcock to prevent
them from acting in a way that deviates from their expected behavior. While this might not
always prevent the child from acting the opposite gender’s roles, this could instill a sense of guilt
that a person would carry until, possibly, death. Normally, for cis people, this should not be a
problem since they abide by their dogma, but this could get problematic for trans people.

The bottomline is that the first set of people we usually get validation from are our parents, and
upon birth, they are responsible for aligning our gender socialization through means of reward
and punishment.

“One little two little three little injuns.”

Fraternizing is a common behavior among social animals that allow each member to learn
particular social acts which are deemed acceptable among their strata. It is an act of learning and
sharing principles that altogether carve an identity among peers, that labels them who they are as
people. This can be seen often in primary school settings where little boys learn how to be little
boys by mirroring the behavior of each other. The same goes for little girls. Those who do not fit
the mold, the deviants, often find themselves at other peer groups that might accept their
behavior. It’s clique-ish, and it’s perfectly reasonable. Fitting in is a major aspect of social
security. Survival is better assured in a circle that seeks to supplant whatever it is you are
missing, so long as that particular circle accepts you.

Now looking into the context of gender, boys often form groups with fellow boys and display
characteristics which were taught to them, perhaps by parents, media, teachers, or other peers,
and use it as a basis for influencing each other within that circle. In essence, the boys learn what
it means to be a boy among boys. The same is true for girls. Behaviors are imposed which are
either accepted or rejected by the members. This is where peer influence truly falls in. Upon
rejection of traits, the peer circle might reject an individual and in turn cause the individual to
feel neglected, rejected, unqualified, etc. There are all considerable as punishments, and
conditioning falls into place. On the other hand, those that exhibit the most accepted behavior are
further assimilated, cherished, and form bonds. Qualities that are considerable rewards, and
altogether lead to social security.

Due to humans being social animals, there is a high chance that individuals would be the most
influenced via this method. Ergo, peer influence on socialization could be more lasting than that
which parents or teachers provide. Arguably, media might be above, below, or on par with peer
influences, but never highly displaced from in terms of magnitude.

“Alright folks! That’s a wrap!”

Social assimilation via gender socialization is a form of adaptation that humans have performed
for the sake of survival in a society, but has become too rigid to a point that punishment for
deviation may be seen as severe and highly damaging. Falling in line is more rewarding and even
promises a more stable life, but falling in line might mean that several non-cis people end up
living in a plane of existence which they are not comfortable in. The question hangs, if humans
are distinctly male and female only, or did we trap ourselves in a prison of our own making. Are
we all inherently cis? Does being cis mean anything? Or is it the identity handed out to us at
birth in metaphorical fascist pamphlets that seek only to further the agenda of a society we had
no opinion in the building of?

Gender socialization has its purpose and is an effective tool for society’s continuous run. It goes
without saying though that several reforms are imperative. There is a spectrum between the
binary which is begging to be acknowledged and explored, and it’s the room many of us belong
in. One does not create space when you build a house with only two walls. The space in between
matters.

Living between two walls is not living. It is closer to crawling through a tight alley or a narrow
cave.
References:

Britannica, T. E. of E. (n.d.). Socialization. Retrieved from

https://www.britannica.com/science/socialization.

Office of Adolescent Health. (2019, March 25). Peer Pressure. Retrieved from

https://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-development/healthy-relationships/healthy-

friendships/peer-pressure/index.html.

Punishment and Reward. (n.d.). Retrieved from

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/acquired-spontaneity/201210/punishment-and-

reward.

Vinney, C. (2019, February 4). What Is Gender Socialization? Retrieved from

https://www.thoughtco.com/gender-socialization-definition-examples-4582435.