Verena Kast - Through Emotions To Maturity - Psychological Readings of Fairy Tales-Fromm (1993) PDF

T H R O U G H E M O T IO N S T O M A TU RIT Y
Psychological Readings of Fairy Tales
VERENA KAST
Translated by Douglas W h itch er

with Susan C. Roberts
It
i
F R O M M IN T E R N A T IO N A L
P U B L IS H IN G C O R P O R A T IO N
TraniU tion Copyright <0 1993 Fromm Intem atonal Pubhshng Corporation. N e w York
Originally published m 1982 as Wege ous Angst und Symbiose;

M ordien pychologisch gedeuret
Copyright © 1982 Walter-Veriag AG. Often, Switzerland
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Ka$t Verena. 1943-
fVVege aus Angst und Sjm b io ie. Engksh]
TVough em otions to matunty; psychok^cai read^tgs o f fairy tales / Verena Kast
p cm.
Includes bibliographical references
ISBN 0»86064>205'X (doth: alcpaper): $ 19.9S.
ISBN 0-88064206-8 (pbk: a*. paper): $11.9S
I. Fairy tales—kkstory and criticism. 2. ftychoaoalys* and feldore
3 Anxiety. 4. Symbiosis (ftych olo g y) l Tide.
C BSS0 K 3 8 4 I3 1993
390.21—dc20 93-33193 CIP
CONTENTS v
FOREWORD TO THE ENGLISH EDITION i

FOREWORD TO THE GERMAN EDITION vH
G ETTIN G TH RO U G H A N XIETY
INTRODUCTION )
THE LAD W H O FEARED NOTHING 2

To Be Human Is to Have Fear
THE GOOSE MAID 24
Fear in Separating from the Mother
GRATCOAT 46
Fear in Separating from the Father
NIXIE IN THE POND 63
Fear o f Overwhelming Emotions
GETTING THROUGH SYMBIOSIS

INTRODUCTION 85
JOURNEY TO THE UNDERWORLD 100

THROUGH THE HELLISH WHIRLPOOL OF FAFA
Contending with the Devouring Primal Ground
REDHAIR GREENEYES 120
A Way out o f Father-boundedness
THE DAUGHTER OF THE LEMON TREE 140
A Way out o f Overprotection
JOR1NDA AND JOR1NGEL 160
A Way out o f Infatuation into Relationship
CONCLUDING REMARKS 168
NOTES 173
BIBLIOGRAPHY 175
■ Foreword to the English Edition
B Y D O U G L A S W H IT C H E R
This book i$ another stepping stone for English-speaking

readers toward greater familiarity with the thought o f
Verena Kast. Until now we have become acquainted with
Kast as a psychologist o f the mourning process (1 9 8 8 ). a
mythographer o f relationship (1 9 8 6 ), a theorist and practi
tioner o f depth crisis intervention ( 1 9 9 0 ), a Dionysian
philosopher o f joy (1 9 9 1 ), a Sisyphusian mid-life counselor
( 1 9 9 1 ), an educator who is able and willing to readably
summarize the state o f the art o f contemporary Jungian psy
chotherapy (1 9 9 2 ), and an initiator into the world o f Active
Imagination ( 1 9 9 3 ). Recently, a publication appeared
together with the authors Ingrid Riedel and Mario Jacoby in
which we were offered a sample o f Kast as an interpreter o f
folktales (1 99 2 ). The present volume is the first to appear in
English that is devoted exclusively to her reflections on folk
tales. Fromm Internationa] will bring us in time all six o f
Kast’s books on folktales. If her publishing history in Ger
man is any indication, we may predict that Verena Kast’s
thought will soon become well known to her English-speak
ing audience as well.
Kast's popularity has been held against her. How can any
thing be profound that is popular? And yet Jungian psychol
ogy itself provides the answer to this apparent riddle: If
archetypal images express dilemmas that are common to
most if not all o f humanity, and if folktales are an expressive
medium through which these images are entertainingly
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY • VI
passed along, (hen it should com e as no surprise that a therapist

w ho writes a great deal about folktales would sell a great many
books, provided she can w rite in a way that does not bore her
audience.
O f course not everyone can w rite about folktales w ithout
boring their audiences. T o my m ind, one o f Kast's unique gifts
is her ability to spring deftly from folktale to therapy and back
again. Sometimes one hardly notices the transition because Iter
parallels arc anything but contrived. W e d o not read about
dreams reproducing secret chapters from the history o f the
human spirit; w e hear how a folktale image motivated a client
to change.
I was introduced to the present book by an analysand in
Zurich who was caught in a symbiotic lie with his mother. He
was her pride and glory— when he succeeded in the things she
thought were most important— and her shame and undoing
when he failed. At the time, he was failing in a big way— as far
as she was concerned. Now that I have actually read the book
myself. I realize that by telling me about this book he was trying
to tell me that his failings in one department m ight yet lead
to development in another. Perhaps he would have to subject
her to an undoing in order to do something for himself. From
Kast's perspective, undoing him self from her would be doing
her a favor as well.
I suspect that the analysis would have been helped along i f 1
had actually read Kast’s book. Perhaps then we could have talked
about the boy in "The Daughter o f the Lemon Tree” w ho was so
spoiled that there was nothing he seemed to be able to accom
plish on his ow n, about how it was only through his careless
games and passive aggression that he smashed an old lady's
cooking pot, and that it was only by means o f his old lady's
frustration and curse that he was able to discover his own stead
fast will. Kast may not resemble such an old lady by her outward
appearance, but her advice to the young man reminds me o f
VII • FO REW O RD
what 1 could imagine her telling a young man in therapy whose

dreams are not bothered m uch by reality: He needs to trudge
about in iron shoes for no less than three years. This may sound
like an odd and impractical sentence, but it may be the only way
to ground someone to the soil from which his personal identity
will eventually grow, i f only he can stick to it long enough.
Or w e could have talked about the young man in “Redhair
Greeneyes" w ho went ahead and did the one thing his tired-out
old father told him not to do. The young man in analysis was
still desperately trying to please a father that he imagined for
him self out o f the w hole cloth o f his disappointm ents. He
believed that his fa th e rs alcoh olic ruin translated in to the
advice. “Whatever you do, don’t do what 1did.” And yet by try
ing to avoid the various apples o f tem ptation that presented
themselves along his walk through life, he walked right into the
same old traps o f self-destruction— unconsciously, unlike the
protagonists o f the folktales that Dr. (Cast has interpreted for us
here. Rather than avoiding the dem on that had ruined his
father’s life, he would have done w ell to “h ire” his father’s
devil, like the young man in the folktale. Then he would have
taken the path o f risk, the only path that could lead him through
the perils that had stopped his life dead in its tracks. He could
have applied a bit o f poison to his mindset w ith the aim o f
killing o ff his self-castrating expectations.
It is o f course false to say that the young merchant “hired” his
father’s devil, for this devil told the youth what to do at every
turn. And yet, neither would it be correct to say that the devil
took possession o f the young man. At the very end o f the talc,
we learn that this demon was actually a shade the young man
had ransomed, the shadow that his father had never allowed to
enter his own life. The possibility o f redeeming one’s father’s
shadow is good news for young men in analysis these days.
“Good news” indeed. There are those who would object to
Kast’s optim istic reading o f psychology through the lens o f
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY • viii
folktales: it rem inds them o f som e "happy ending** Gospel.

W hat does this gospel have to d o w ith Ju n g ’s vision o f a
w renching clash o f opposites that never finds an end but only
winds its way towards new heights o f tragic conflict, they ask. Is
Kast suggesting that problems can actually be solved, that folk-
tales can provide us w ith maps for finding our way through
em otions to maturity, as the title suggests?
Kast‘s “belief.” however outlandish o r optim istic, is never
theless critical and psychological, nam ely, that relationships
become diseased, stunted in their growth, packed full o f unreal
istic expectations, and that it is the job o f the psychotherapist
schooled in folklore to unravel the eerie images that implicate
themselves in such relationships. The only way out o f the image
is through the image, just as the only way out o f symbiosis is
through symbiosis, the only way out o f anxiety through anxiety.
This may sound like a recipe— the client, like the protago
nist. has only to endure in order to prevail in the end over evil
and injustice. Therapists, like folktales, may seem to preach
sim plistic convictions, like the benefit o f follow ing o n e ’s
dreams, as in “The Nixie in the Pond,*' o r the rewards o f being
patient, as in “The Goose Maid.** I f w e adopt a folkloric. thera
peutic view o f life, don’t w e run the risk o f ruining our lives by
pinning our hopes on rhetorically persuasive illusions?
Yet to unravel their seductive power over the sou), as joringel
does when he frees Jorinda from her entrapment as a nightin
gale, it is not enough to decry* the seductive allure o f images.
One must know* the ways o f this “witch** very* intimately. Kast
can be o f great assistance in this task. Although Joringel ’s fate
and official task w*as to tend sheep, his secret pastime w*a$ a study
o f the w itch that held his love captive. Then one day he was bold
enough to crash the gates o f his romantic desire and recover a
real woman from the trap o f his happily-ever-after symbiosis.
Through Kast’s interpretations, the poison o f images and illu
sions— indeed o f “fairy tales"— becomes its ow*n antidote.
IK ■ FO REW O RD
Kast, Verena. The Nature of Loving: Patterns of Human Relationship,

translated by Boris Matthews (Wilmette, Illinois: Chiron, 1986).
_____________ . A Time to Mourn: Growing through the Grief Process,

translated by Diana Dachler & Fiona Cairns (Einsiedeln,
Switzerland: Daimon, 1988).
_____________ . The Creative Leap: Psychological Transformation Through

Crisis, translated by Douglas W hitcher (W ilm ette, Illinois:
Chiron. 19 9 0 ).
______________. Joy, Inspiration, and Hope, translated by Douglas

W hitcher (College Station: Texas A & M University. 1991).
_____________ . Sisyphus: The Old Scone— A New Way. translated by

Norman M. Brown (Einsiedeln. Switzerland: Daimon. 1991).
_____________ , The Dynamics of Symbols: Fundamentals of jungian Psy

chotherapy, translated by Susan A. Schwarz (New York: Fromm
International, 199 2 ).
_ _ _ , Jacoby, Mario and Riedel, Ingrid Witches, Ogres,

and the Devil’s Daughter: Encounters with Evil in Fairy Tales, translated
by Michael H. Kohn (Boston and London: Shambhala.
1992).
, Imagination as Space of Freedom: Dialogue between the Ego

and the Unconscious, translated by Anselm Hollo (New York:
Fromm International, 1993).
■ Foreword to the German Edition
BY V E R 6N A KAST
The essays in this volume were first presented as lectures at the

psychotherapy conferences in Lindau, Switzerland, in 1980
and 1981. The first series concerned ways out o f symbiosis and
the second, anxiety and ways to deal with it in folktales. On the
recommendation o f my Swiss publisher. I decided to bring the
lectures from both series together in one volume. Thus, in my
search for a title. I felt it made sense to compare symbiosis with
anxiety, and so 1 ended up w ith. "W ays out o f Anxiety and
Symbiosis. " * The comparison was intended to point to a rela
tionship between the two concepts that could be summed up as
follows: Typically, a person seeks symbiosis as a way o f avoid
ing anxiety— especially the fear o f separation. Thus, ways out
o f symbiosis are always ways o f coping with and o f getting
through anxiety.
But why use folktales as the means to explore ways out o f
symbiosis and anxiety? In Jungian psychology, we view folk
tales as symbolic representations o f problems common to most
humans, as well as portrayals o f possible ways to solve those
problems. Folktales deal with something that breaks down the
onward flow o f life— a problem usually described in the tale’s
initial situation— and suggest a developmental path through
and beyond the problem toward a new life. We all know that in
the course o f maturing, we make detours, expose ourselves to
risks, and get completely tripped up. Our paths through life arc
no less dangerous than those encountered by the characters in
* The literal translation of the original tide. (Editor’s note .)

THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY • xn
folktales. W e o f the Jungian school view the protagonists o f

folktales as role m odels, demonstrating for us how w e m ight
endure problematic situations or persist along a path on which
possibilities for solving problems inevitably arise. In approach
ing such tales, we employ a "subjective level" o f interpretation
that we have adapted from our work w ith dreams, in which
every figure that appears can be viewed as a personality trait o f
the dreamer. By the same token, each character in the folktale
can be seen as a personality trait o f the protagonist. For example
when a woman m eets a w itch in a folktale, we say that she is
encountering her own witchy side.
In our interpretations, we try to enter the folktale s narrative
structure, its overall line o f developm ent, not simply those
scenes in which the protagonist acts or is acted upon. W e also
give serious consideration to symbols, employing the method
o f amplification to discover what a given symbol might mean.
What this means is that we attempt to place the symbol in the
context o f parallel talcs that fall under the same m otif-rubric,
w e reflect on m om ents in history in w hich the sym bol per
formed som e function, and consider the interpretive contexts
in which it has been used. By means o f amplification, the gen
eral outline o f a sym bol’s meaning emerges
Folktales have been interpreted in many d ifferent ways,
according to the m ethods o f such d isciplines as the study o f
German languages and literature, the study o f folklore, sociol
ogy, and psychology. The folktale can be approached from all
o f these perspectives. Different aspects o f the folktale assume
greater importance, depending o n the angle taken. It would o f
course be ideal i f w e could take all viewpoints into considera
tion. as well as indude the thoughts o f a number o f commenta
tors, since the interpreter's ow n personality has a large influ
ence on the interpretation. Nor can w e afford to overlook the
fact that folktales, since they are composed o f images, are never
one-dimensional. As m ore and more levels emerge, the image
xm ■ FO REW O RD
becom es increasingly mysterious, and it becomes harder and

harder to settle on one definitive interpretation. This is what
makes the interpretation o f folktales so exciting; the possibili
ties are never exhausted. The criterion 1 use for a successful and
defensible interpretation is whether it is consistent and effective
in giving meaning to a number o f different details that would
not otherwise make sense. At the very least, a given interpreta
tion should stimulate reflection or uncover contradictions. In
any case, there is no such thing as a “correct” interpretation.
Interpreting folktales is neither the sole nor the most impor
tant way o f encountering and engaging with them. Using active
im agination, painting, drawing, or m editating on them are
equally important methods for letting folktales stimulate em o
tional growth.
Getting Through Anxiety
■ Introduction
Fairy (ales often deal w ith anxiety w ithout speaking about it

directly; in fact anxiety is seldom mentioned in such tales. But
when we listen to a tale and immerse ourselves in its imagery*
we often find ourselves fearing for the hero or heroine: there is
the threat o f poisoning that awaits Snow W hite at every turn,
the abandonment suffered by Hansel and Grctcl, the torrent o f
rage the witch hurls at Grctcl. Once the protagonist survives the
danger, w e breathe a sigh o f relief, for we too have survived
another anxiety attack. From this perspective, then, there is
hardly a fairy tale that docs not deal with anxiety. Looking at
ourselves through the fairy tale— which presents us with typi
cal hum an dilem m as and allow s us to im agine paths out o f
them— we see that we are confronted with anxiety every step o f
the way.
Anxiety belongs to the human condition; if we embrace the
logic o f all those tales in which someone "sets out to learn fear”
we might even say that it is what makes us human. The first tale
in this collection o f interpretations— an Icelandic tale called
"The Lad W ho Feared Nothing"— provides the clearest exam
ple o f this "ed ucation in an x ie ty ." How ever, I also w ill be
exploring the theme in essays on the Grimm Brothers’ stories
“The Goose Maid” and “The Nixie o f the Pond" and the Ger
man folktale "Gray Coat."
■ The Lad W h o Feared Nothing
T O B E H U M A N IS T O H A V E F E A R
There was once a very cheeky lad w ho was not afraid o f any
thing. This was o f great concern to his parents and other rela
tives, for no matter what they asked him to do, he never had the
slightest fear that something bad might happen to him. At last
they gave up and brought him to the village pastor, w ho they
had decided should be the one to teach him fear.
But once the fellow was taken in, it soon became clear that
he was not about to learn fear here either, try though the pas
tor m ight. The boy was no m ore rebellious or disrespectful
with the pastor than he had been with his relatives. But still the
time passed and the pastor's efforts to teach the lad fear proved
to be in vain.
One winter's day, however, the pastor finally saw his oppor
tunity to teach the boy som e fear. As it happened, there w ere
three corpses at the church awaiting burial. Since the bodies had
been delivered late in the evening, they had to be stored in the
sanctuary overnight. In those days, it was still proper to bury a
corpse without a coffin, and so these w ere simply wrapped in
shrouds. The pastor had them dragged into the church and then
left them stretched out across the aisle, one beside the other,
with very little space in between. That evening in the parson
age, the pastor told the boy. “Go quickly to the church, my son.
and get m e the book that is lying on the altar."
The boy— w ho was obliging even if he was brash— did what
he was told right away. He went to the church, unlocked the
door, and began making his way up the aisle. But after a few
steps he tripped over something. After feeling around a bit, he
3 ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
realized it was a human body. Unfazed, he promptly shoved the

body between the pews In order to get it out o f the way. Then
he continued on up the aisle, tripping over the second corpse,
which he dealt with in the same nonchalant way as he had the
first. The same thing happened with the third corpse, which he
likewise shoved out o f the aisle into the space betw een the
pews. W hen he finally reached the altar, he took the book the
pastor had wanted, then merrily walked back down the now*
clear aisle, locked the church again, and returned to the parson
age. When the pastor asked if he had noticed anything unusual,
the boy replied that he had not.
"You mean you didn't notice the corpses lying in the aisle? I
forgot to tell you about them ," the pastor said.
"A h— the co rp ses," the boy replied. "Y es, 1 saw them. I
didn't know what you were talking about at first. Father."
"W ell, and how did you notice them ?" asked the pastor.
"W eren’t they in your way?"
"O h , that was no problem ." the boy said.
"S o how did you get past them ?"
" I pushed them out o f the aisle and into the spaces between
the pews, which is where they are now ."
At that, the pastor refrained from asking questions and just
shook his head. H ie next m orning he told the lad, "Y ou must
go away from here. 1 can't have you in my house any longer.
You are godless and have no respect for the peace o f the dead."
The boy had nothing to say to this and so bid the pastor and all
the townsfolk a polite farewell.
Now he wandered about for some tim e, not knowing where
to stay. Stopping by an inn one night, he heard that the bishop
o f Skalholt had died. So he made a small detour there and. arriv
ing in the evening, requested lodging at the bishop's house.
The people there w ere glad to give him room and board but
warned that he would have to look out for his ow n safety. What
was there to be afraid of? the boy asked. Since the death o f the
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY ■ 4
b ish o p , th in g s in S k a lh o h had taken a nasty tu rn , they

exp lained . W h e n nig h tfall ca m e , g ho sts app eared , m akin g it
im possible fo r anyone to rem ain o n the prem ises. “All the m ore
reason to slay ,” the boy answ ered.
T h e people urged him n o t to talk so recklessly and cautioned
h im th at it realty w o u ld n o t b e fu n to b e aro u n d w h en th e
haunting began. As it grew dark, everyone left except the lad.
W ith heavy hearts, they b id h im farew ell, b elievin g that they
w ould never see hint again.
T h e y ou n g fe llo w stayed o n alo n e and e n jo y e d h im se lf.
W h en it grew dark, he lit a lantern and w andered through the
en tire h o u se, in sp ectin g it. At last, h e cam e in to th e k itch en .
How w ell stocked it was! Fat lam b carcasses hu ng in a ro w . and
there w ere m any oth er d eliciou s provisions as w ell. N o t having
eaten d ried m eat fo r so m e tim e , the b o y d ev elo p ed q u ite an
appetite for it from loo kin g at the great q u an tities h an g in g in
the kitchen. So he split som e w o o d . m ade a fire, put a po t o n to
bo il, and carved up a sheep carcass.
So far. there was n o sign o f ghosts. But o n ce the m eat w as in
the pot. the boy heard a m uffled voice co m in g from the ch im
ney above. “May I d rop ?" it asked.
“ W h y sh o u ld n ’t you d ro p ?” rep lied th e b o y . At th is , th e
upper third o f a m a n ’s body fell d o w n the ch im n ey — a head
and shoulders, com plete w ith arm s and hands. It rem ained on
the floor w ithout m oving for a tim e. T hen the boy o n ce again
heard a d eep v o ice e c h o in g th ro u g h th e c h im n e y . “ M ay I
d rop?” it asked.
“W h y sh o u ld n 't you d rop ?” the lad responded again. T h is
tim e the trunk o f a man fell out o f the ch im n ey, co m in g to rest
next to the first piece.
Y et a third tim e the young m an heard the q u estio n , “May I
d rop ?” And on ce again he was cordial in his invitation: “W hy
shou ld n't you drop? Perhaps you need so m eth in g to stand o n !”
N o soon er had he said this than dow n cam e the legs o f a m an.
s ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
They w ere Incredibly large, o f a size to match the other parts.

Now all the pieces lay there on the floor together quietly. This
was boring for the boy. so he began to step on them , asking
them . “Now that you are all together, why d o n 't you take a
walk?" At this, the pieces assembled themselves into a gigantic
man w ho walked out o f the kitchen without saying a word.
The boy followed the huge man into the front room. There,
he watched as the man unlocked a large chest full o f coins. The
ghost took up on e handful after another, then threw the
coins over his shoulder onto the floor. He kept doing this until
the chest was empty. Then he reached into the pile that had
built up behind him and began throwing the coins back over
his shoulders into the chest. The boy stood by for the dura-
tion o f the strange game, watching the gold coins rolling about
on the floor.
As the night drew to a d o se, the ghost picked up his pace.
Now he was frantically throwing money back into the chest and
hurriedly sweeping up any coins that had rolled away. Soon the
boy realized that the ghost was rushing because he knew dawn
was approaching. And indeed, once all the money was back in
the chest, the ghost made great haste to leave. But the boy
stopped him. assuring him that there was no need to rush. “Yes
there is," said the ghost. “It is almost daybreak."The ghost now
tried to get around the boy, but the boy blocked the way. The
ghost got angry and grabbed the lad. Bad things would happen
i f the boy got in his way, the ghost threatened. It then began
fiercely beating up on the boy. Realizing that he was by far the
weaker o f the two, the boy did his best to avoid the heaviest
blows and stay on his feet.
Things continued in this way for some time. Finally, with his
back to the open door, the ghost attempted to lift the lad up in
order to throw* him down to the floor with one terrible crash.
Seeing that his death was im m inent, the boy resorted to cun
ning. W ith all his m ight, he threw him self against the ghost.
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY 6
knocking it backw ards in to the op en d oorw ay. T h e m om ent the

g host's head landed ou tside, daylight shone in his eyes, and he
split in to tw o and disintegrated.
T h o u g h a bit s t iff and b ru ised , the b o y w en t rig h t to w ork
m aking tw o w oo d en cro sses, w h ich h e stuck in to the ground
o n eith er side o f the threshold to m ark w h ere the g h o st’s tw o
halves had disappeared. T hen h e lay d ow n and slept un til the
b ish op 's folk relu m ed .
W h en they saw that the lad w as still alive, they greeted him .
en thusiastically and asked h im i f h e h ad n 't seen any ghosts in
the n ig h t. H e said he h ad n 't n o ticed an y , but th ey refused to
believe him .
Thai day, he stayed o n at the b ish op 's h ouse and rested. Not
o n ly w*as h e to o exh au sted to m o v e a fte r h is fig h t w ith th e
g h o st, th e b is h o p 's fo lk w o u ld n 't le t h im g o , f o r h e had
resto red th eir co u ra g e. W h e n th ey g ot ready to leave fo r the
n ig h t, the bo y tried to assure th e m th at th e g h o st w o u ld n 't
harm them anym ore. But it w as n o use— they w ent th eir way.
At least they didn \ w orry about h im as m u ch this tim e. Indeed,
that night the boy slept soundly, and w h en the folk returned the
next m o rn in g and inquired ab o u t the g ho st, h e assured them
that h e h a d n 't n o tice d an y th in g . T h en he told th em all about
w h a t had h ap p en ed o n th e first n ig h t and sh o w ed th e m the
w o o d en crosses and the ch est o f gold to prove his story. C o n
g ratu latin g th e b o y fo r h is b rav ery , th ey told h im to c h o o s e
w h atev er m o n e y o r g o o d s h e lik ed by w ay o f rew ard and
invited him to b e their guest at Skalholt for as lo n g as h e w anted.
He thanked them but declined th eir o ffe r, saying he planned to
leave in the m orn in g . That n ig h t, everyone o n ce again slept at
the house, w ith n o sign o f trou ble from the ghost.
In the m orn ing the lad gathered up his things, in spite o f the
fo lk ’s earn est e n ire a tie s o f h im to stay . H e w as n o lo n g e r
needed, he told them . And so he left Skalholt and traveled north
to the su m m er grazing pastures.
7 • G E T T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
F o r so m e tim e a fte r b e arrived at th is n e w lo ca le , n o th in g

unusual happened. But o n e day as h e w as ex p lo rin g , h e cam e
upon a cave. G oin g in sid e , h e fou n d it w as d eserted . But in a
side ch a m b er, h e found tw elve beds— six o n o n e sid e and six
o n th e o th e r. T h e beds had n o t y et b e en m a d e , and sin ce it
w as still d ay tim e and th e lad fig u red th e ir o w n ers p ro b ab ly
w ou ld n o t b e back fo r a w h ile , h e w en t a b o u t m akin g th em .
Then he lay d ow n in the bed that w as the furthest o n the right,
co vered h im s e lf w e ll, and fe ll asleep . A fter a w h ile , h e w as
aw aken by a great c o m m o tio n fro m a g ro u p o f m e n w h o
entered th e cave and began c o n je ctu rin g as to w h o had d o n e
them the serv ice o f m akin g th e ir beds. W h o e v e r it w as had
earned their thanks, they said. T hereu p on, they ate th eir supper
and prepared to retire for the night. But w h en the m an w hose
bed w as the fu rth e st o n th e rig h t th rew back th e c o v e rs , he
found the lad lying there. Now' all the m en jo in ed in thanking
the lad for his services and pleaded w ith h im to stay w ith (hem .
They explained that they had to leave the cave every m orn in g at
sunrise o r else their en em ies w ould find them and attack them .
That w as w hy they never had tim e to d o housew ork and w ould
be ever so grateful i f the lad w ould co n sen t to stay o n and help
them w ith th eir chores.
The young m an agreed to stay w ith the cave dwellers. But he
was cu rious about on e thing. How was it that they got in to such
bad figh ts day after day? T h e cave d w ellers explained that the
battle w ith their en em ies had been g oin g o n for as long as they
co u ld re m e m b e r. T h o u g h th ey had alw ays b e en th e v icto rs,
lately th e ir fo es kept c o m in g back to life in th e m o rn in g , re
new ed and even m ore full o f w ildness and m alice than before.
Surely the cave dw ellers w'ould be attacked in their ow n hom e if
they w ere not up and ready to fight at sunrise, they explained.
Then they lay dow n and slept until the next m orn ing.
W h en the sun rose, the cavem en arm ed them selves and w ent
ou t, but not w ith ou t asking the boy to look after the cave and
do som e housekeeping w hile ihey w ere gone. Though he

cheerfully agreed, as soon as they had left, he followed after
them into the forest o f walnut trees where the fights took place.
Once he had surveyed the battlefield, he quickly hurried back to
the cave where he made the beds, swept the floor, and took care
o f all the other chores.
W hen the cave dwellers returned that evening weak and
weary from their batdes. they thanked the boy for taking care o f
everything so well. After eating their supper, they fell asleep
imm ediately— all except the boy, w ho lay awake thinking
about what might happen i f the cave dwellers' enem ies were
once to attack at night. Thus, when he saw that his hosts were all
asleep, he got up, selected a few choice weapons, and left the
cave. He arrived at the battlefield just before midnight, but saw
nothing except slain bodies and severed heads.
After a while, however, he saw a woman emerge from a hill
not far from the battlefield. She was wearing a blue coat and car
rying a can. The lad watched as she went straight to the battle
field, knelt beside one o f the slain warriors, and wiped som e
thing from the can onto the upper part o f his torso and the
bottom o f his neck. Then she placed the head back on the body.
Immediately, the dead man sat up and came alive! Aha, thought
the lad. Now he understood how the cave dwellers' enem ies
kept coming back to life. The woman went on to revive two or
three other bodies in the same way before the boy lunged at her
and struck her down. Next he slew the men that the woman had
brought back to life and experimented to see i f he could do the
same. Indeed, w iping som e o f the slim e on their necks, he
found that the trick worked just as well for him as it had for her.
For the rest o f the night he continued playing this game, reviv*
ing the dead men and then killing them o ff again.
When they awoke at dawn, the boy’s cave-dwelling friends
w ere dismayed to find the boy missing along with their best
weapons. But when they arrived at the battlefield, prepared for
the day's fight, they w ere cheered to find their enem ies still
lying dead on the ground! W hen they saw the young man. they
greeted him with joy. asking him what had brought him there.
They boy told them everything that had happened. He showed
them the can o f ointment the elf-woman had used to revive the
slain men and. wiping some onto one o f the dead men. put his
head back on. As quickly as the slain man rose up. the cavemen
cut him down again.
Now the cave dwellers thanked the lad profusely for his brav
ery. bidding him to stay w ith them as long as he wanted and
offering him money for his good deeds. He gratefully accepted
their invitation.
This made the cave dwellers so happy that they began cele
brating rowdily. Since they now had the power to bring one
another back to life, they decided it would be fun to see what it
was like to die. And so they m errily w ent about killing each
other, applying the m agic ointm ent, and com ing back to life.
They amused themselves in this manner for quite a while.
At one point, they cut o f f the boy's head and put it on back
wards. W hen the lad revived and caught sight o f his rear end, he
w ent mad from the horror o f it. Finally, he had encountered
something truly frightening! Pleading to be released from this
torture, h e prom ised his liberators anything in the w orld.
Straightaway, the cave dwellers came to hack o f f his head and
put it back on the right way. W hen the boy cam e to his senses
again, he was just as cheek)' as ever.
Now the friends dragged all their dead enem ies into a pile,
robbed them o f their weapons, and burned their bodies, along
with that o f the e lf w om an. Then, going into the hill that she
had com e from , they stole all the treasures they found there
and carried them back to their cave. T he young fellow re
mained with them thereafter, and there are no m ore stories to
tell about him.
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY • 10
This fairy tale has a direct parallel in the Grimms’ tale. "The Boy
W ho Left Home to Find Out about the Shivers,”1and variants o f
it have been found throughout the world. Though the hero's
deeds are not identical in all versions, the great lengths to which
the tales go in describing them arc a constant. After reading a
number o f these tales, one gets the feeling that the teller quite
enjoys identifying with the saucy hero. Thus w e may assume
that this is a character type that em bodies som e sort o f ideal,
even though the tales make it clear from the beginning that lack
o f fear is actually a defect and thus that the boy is inhuman, or
better, prehuman. These tales describe a developmental process
that, though it culminates in the protagonist learning to feel
anxiety and horror, never requires him to lose his pluck. In
many versions, the protagonist begins a relationship with the
woman he wins through his bold deeds— despite the fact that
this seems a detour from his primary goal, namely to learn fear.
Thus, from the perspective o f the tale, there is a close connec
tion between the ability to feel anxiety and the ability to enter
into relationships.
What sort o f growth process does the lad w hose goal is to
experience anxiety and horror undergo? At the beginning, the
tale gives no indication that the boy him self feels at all co n
cerned about his lack o f anxiety; it is only his parents and rela
tives w ho are worried about it. And what seems to upset th a n
most is how the lad’s fearlessness deprives them o f authority
over him.
In their desperation, the parents send the boy to the pastor. In
former days, this was a popular option: W hen parents were no
longer able to deal with their children, they would often send
them to the pastor to be straightened out. On a superficial level,
the talc does portray a need for authority. It is the pastor w ho is
supposed to find a way to instil) fear in the boy. Fear is thus con
nected not only with authority, but also w ith religion and the
divine. The pastor’s task brings to mind all that is meant by the
expression ’’the fear o f G od." It is associated with the individ
ual’s need to find his place in relation to the numinosum and to
human life as a whole. Luther, for example, began his interpre
tation o f the T en Com m andm ents w ith the sentence. “W e
should fear and love G o d .. . . ” A boy like our hero, who lacks
even the slightest hint o f fear or sense o f danger, will identify
with all things trem endous and om nipotent. Thus the pastor
m ight help w ith this problem by dem onstrating a healthier
relationship with the transcendent than the boy’s direct identi
fication with it.
But in our tale, the pastor fails at this task. Thinking that a con
frontation with mortality will shock the cheeky lad out o f his
fantasies o f omnipotence, the pastor sets him up to stumble over
a set ofcorpses. And indeed, in the end it is the awareness o f tran
sience and mortality that gives the boy his first taste o f horror.
However, though the encounter in the church may be a first
step toward knowing fear, at this point the desired shock does
not take place. Indeed, the young man deals with the dead as if
they were wooden puppets, showing them no sensitivity at all.
Perhaps it is not mere coincidence that this pan o f the tale takes
place in winter. The temporary hiddenness o f life at this time o f
year suggests a repression o f anxiety and other feelings, such as
respect for the dead.
The episode with the pastor marks the boy’s initial attempt to
deal with the problem o f death. Afterwards, he is sent away—
which, in the language o f fairy tales, means that he must con
tinue in his growth process.
What sort o f person hides behind this fellow’s bold facade?
The tale describes him as saucy and brash, but also as surpris
ingly helpful, playful, curious, and indomitable. If he is hun
gry, he finds something to eat; i f he craves adventure, he drums
it up. Fearing nothing him self, he is feared by those around
him. who cringe at his lack o f self-imposed limits.
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY a 12
O n e function o f anxiety is to m ake us co nscio u s o f o u r lim its.

It is on ly sensible, fo r instance, to have so m e trepidation about
clim bin g a steep m ountain, since o n e could easily take a fatal fall.
T h e lad in o u r story regards h im se lf as o m n ip o ten t. T h is is
not to say that he w ants to lord h is p o w er ov er others— at least
n o t consciou sly — on ly that h e believes the w o rld is at h is fin
gertips; h e can trust in h is o w n pow ers to o b tain w hatever he
w ants and n e ed s. It wra$ th is u n c ritic a l, in d eed n a iv e , tru st,
expan siven ess, and p o w e r that "re s to re d the co u ra g e " o f the
folk ofSkalh olt.
I find m yself intrigued by this indefatigable you th. W ith his
sense o f freedom and pow er, he inspires "c o u ra g e " in m e, too.
But he also frightens m e. Perhaps it is the tale’s hidden agenda
to a ffect its a u d ie n ce in th is w ay. By p o rtra y in g a ch a ra cter
w ho is entirely free o f anxiety, it aw akens in us the d esire fo r a
life o f fearlessness, boldn ess, brashness, fo r the th rill o f b ein g
sw ept a lo n g by a stead y stream o f g o o d lu ck . And y et at th e
sam e tim e , th e c h a ra cte r ev o k es in us th e o p p o site o f b o ld
ness— nam ely fear.
Let us regard th e h e ro o f this tale as so m eo n e w h o needs to
take a significant step tow ard greater m aturity. U naw are o f his
lim its, convinced that he w ill never fail, and possessed o f great
stren g th , th e lad is th e p ictu re o f a slightly m an ic personality.
A lthough h e seem s lucky, h e is hig h ly restless; h is bein g lacks
so m e essential d im en sio n . Stated an o th er w ay. h e is so m eo n e
w h o is protected — and trapped— in a positive m aternal space.
T hus enveloped and blind ed , he represses consciousn ess o f the
dark side o f th e m aternal realm : the w o m b as a place o f death.
People w h o se lives are contain ed in this w'ay o ften su ffer from
bored om and a sense o f em p tin ess, especially w h e n n o o n e is
around to adm ire them fo r the allure they possess by virtue o f
id en tify in g wfith the m erely g oo d m o th er. Su ch p eo p le lack a
sense o f the transience o f life, and consequen tly a sense o f (he
w eigh t and im portance o f the present m om ent.
Thus the hero o f this tale will be sent on a journey to confront

religious figures and death. His next test takes place in Skalholt.
“Skalholt" is a nam e rich in sym bolism ; translated into
English it means “Skull H ill." W hen the tale announces that the
bishop has died, it is clear that we are about to encounter the
mystery o f death and the next world in yet another form. The
bishop represents an “authority" even “higher" than the pastor.
Ever since the bishop’s death, we are told, the night has been
haunted. In mythology, a figure “haunts" a place when it can
find no peace, but i f som eone recognizes its need, the ghost
usually can be redeem ed. Such haunting figures can be seen
as aspects o f the unconscious that, having been repressed at
some earlier tim e, have again becom e activated and now press
for recognition by the conscious m ind. For exam ple, w e say
that “something is haunting m e " w hen we feel disturbed, con
fused, and preoccupied by an energy (hat w e cannot define
m oie precisely.
The ghost in our story makes its appearance after the lad cuis
up some dried meat and puis it in a pot to cook. The boy wants
to eat. and there is plenty o f food available in this well-stocked
kitchen. Yet his “appointment with the ghost” prevents him
from feeding himself.
In fairy tales, it is quite conventional for ghosts to enter a
dwelling by means o f the chimney. Witches, too, go in and out
o f houses through the chimney, as do the souls o f the dead. This
may have som ething to do w ith the resem blance betw een
chimneys and caves, a frequent symbol o f the realm o f shades
or souls. The blackness o f the chimney suggests the same thing.
Fire and, especially, rising smoke are also associated with the
realm o f the spirits. As for the hearth, it not only symbolizes the
center o f the family and human society, but transformation.
In our tale, the ghost that falls down the chimney does in fact
effect a transformation. Its three pieces recall the three corpses
in the church from the first part o f the u le. However, by tele
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY • 14
scoping three separate bodies into one body in three pieces, the
tale suggests that the story’s central problem is now becoming
m ore focused. And the fact that these pieces land squarely in
front o f the protagonist rather than allowing themselves to be
shoved aside suggests that the problem has also becom e more
immediate and compelling.
One might imagine that the young lad’s confrontation with
the corpses in the church was so disturbing that it caused him to
com pletely suppress any sign o f anxiety. In this regard, the
encounter could be com pared w ith particularly penetrating
interpretations made in therapy. For example, if. in a submanic
m ood. the therapist prematurely identifies a fear o f mentality in
the patient, the emotional impact may be such that the patient
com pletely represses it. But just as the corpses w ere shoved
aside only to reappear later, so is the insight that caused such
anxiety in therapy gradually admitted to consciousness.
It is striking to see how the boy deals with the dismembered
body— as i f it were nothing out o f the ordinary. He does not
experience the ghost as dangerous, intrusive, or alien; he even
encourages it to pull itself together so that it can regain its
m obility. Here we see the advantages o f a naive attitude:
Exempt from the need to defend himself, the lad can look on
with interest, watching what happens. But we can also see the
drawbacks o f such an attitude: Lacking any sense o f danger, the
boy may well lose his life in the battle with the ghost.
But, before wc go any further, let us pause to inquire into the
nature o f this ghost. What sort o f problem does it represent?
W hat psychological com plex w aiting to be resolved and
redeemed?
Let us start by saying that the ghost's actions reveal som e
thing about the nature o f the problem while the boy's actions—
his dealings with the ghost— reveal something about how the
problem can be tackled. The ghost is a terribly large man who
behaves autonomously, even obsessively, following a kind o f
"blin d w ill." In his article "O n Psychic E nerg y ."J Jung de
scribed spirits as autonomous complexes that have not yet been
integrated into consciousness. These com plexes reveal them
selves i f we make them the subject o f active imagination— for
example, when we draw or paint a picture o f whatever is haunt
ing us, our suspicions, tensions, or longings. Likewise, in our
story the problem o f anxiety and death is portrayed in a series o f
sym bolic gestures enacted by the huge man. These involve
entering a room where there is a chest full o f money, removing
all the coins and throwing them over his shoulder, then turning
around and reversing what he has just done, throwing the coins
back into the chest.
The "ghost that counts m oney" is a frequent m otif in folk
literature. It illustrates the insight that those w ho grasp at
money for security in their lifetimes go on grasping at it when
their lives are over. Such a m o tif m ight be interpreted as ad
vice to take leave o f your m oney now i f you do not want to be
counting it throughout eternity. Our tale vividly illustrates the
curse o f such a fate. The ghost's act o f throw ing m oney over
his shoulder and then gathering it up again is indeed a
Sisyphian one.
If we exam ine this m o tif o f throw ing som ething away in
light o f its occurrence in other tales, w e gain the impression
that it has to do with sacrifice. For exam ple, in a num ber o f
tales, the hero on a magical Bight throws behind him o r her a
series o f objects w hich then grow to huge proportions— for
example, a bush turns into a forest. The sacriBced object safe
guards the person in Bight and may even save his or her life.
In our tale, it is not so clear that the ghost s throwing away
money connotes a sacrifice. Indeed, the failure to make a gen
uine sacrifice seems to be a m ajor cause o f the curse that per
vades the entire tale: though death has forced the bishop to give
up his m oney— and pow er— by dying, apparently he was
never prepared to surrender these willingly. Thus, nothing has
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY - 16
really been sacrificed— as can be seen by the ghost's obsessive

gathering up money after he has dispersed it. This image shows
what the bishop (1 believe that the ghost and the bishop are
one) would have had to do to fulfill his religious duly, accept
his mortality, and become fully human: sacrifice his money and
power. The curse results from his inability to do so.
The “will to have” expresses a fear o f loss, change, and
finally, incapacitation. As such, it can be seen as a defense
against “transience” (W eischedel*). Everyone must d ie, and
even while we are living, death continually encroaches on us
via the transience o f life. To face life’s transience w ithout be
coming resigned, w e need creativity, which is the will to shape
our own being. In my view, the “w ill to have” and its associated
“will to power” make up the shadow side o f creativity.
Applying these insights to the psychology o f the individual,
we might say that those w ho strongly repress (heir anxiety— o r
w ho simply never grew out o f their infantile feelings o f
omnipotence— lack an appropriate sense o f danger. Their style
is submanic i f not hysterical: bold, full o f good cheer, naive.
Even so, at some point they notice that something is missing—
sorely missing. They may realize this themselves or it may be
pointed out by others, but suddenly they will encounter m ajor
problems with power and the will to possess, and also with the
necessity to yield to others. These problems will present them
selves with the force o f an assault. Notice that it is not until the
lad in our tale realizes he is hungry— i.e .. that som ething is
missing— that the ghost makes its entrance.
How docs the lad deal with this problem— with this "co m
plex” ? To begin w ith, he admits the ghost into his sphere o f
consciousness. By first paying attention to its separate parts, he
allows the spirit to “assemble” itself so that it can make its secret
known. The young man then follows the ghost about, observ
ing its obsession, allowing it to give its own account o f itself.
After learning the ghost’s secret, the lad engages it in combat.
Through the ensuing confrontation, true gfowth in conscious

ness takes place.
T o m e. this passage in the tale reads like an instruction m an
ual on how to deal w ith an overpowering complex: First, allow
it to give an account o f itself, watching where, when, and how
it functions; then attempt to engage it in an encounter, taking
care not to let it retreat into the dark o f night, for that would
mean forfeiting it to the unconscious again.
The encou nter requires great cunning from ou r lad. This
means he must learn his opponent's tricks and anticipate his
moves; he must identify with his opponent but also regard him
from a distance. In the situation described by the tale, the prob
lem is undone once it has been unm asked; after that, it no
longer pins one to the w all, one is free to assert oneself.
Although the boy realizes that the fight w ith the ghost could
cost him his life, he is not paralyzed; he acts— and yet I do not
have the impression that he still fancies himself— immortal.
T he ou tcom e o f the fight is that the ghost splits into tw o
pieces. T his happens at daybreak— w hich is to say that once
light has been thrown on the problem it ceases to exist, at least
in the old form . In the story, one half o f the "problem** sinks
back into the earth in broad daylight while the other half sinks
into the floor inside the house, suggesting that som e inward,
psychological aspect o f the problem has yet to be resolved. This
aspect is associated with the lower half o f the giant man who.
as w e may recall, cam e dow n the chim ney "head first.** The
**undersideN o f the problem — corresponding to the m an's
organs o f digestion, excretion, and sex— has yet to find peace.
T he "lo w e r half** o f the body is a m ost pow erful sym bol o f
our mortality, reminding us daily that w e exist w ithin a cycle
o f holding and letting go, that all things pass and we ourselves
are transient.
W hy should the bishop be the symbolic figure in w hich our
hero confronts the problem o f holding on and letting go? Why
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY • 18
d o I m aintain that the ghost and the bish o p are. for all purposes,
o n e and the sam e?
First let us co nsid er the co llective, historical co n d ition s that
m igh t have given rise to this tale. It is conceivable that the story
w as created in a tim e m arked by a general flouting o f death and
m ortality , a penchant fo r h ig h liv in g , and an o p en preference
fo r pow er and w ealth over oth er w orld ly concerns. Perhaps the
tale expresses disdain for those w hose calling it w as to cultivate
a relationship w ith the next w orld bu t w h o su ccum bed to the
lures o f this on e. It w ould be hard in m y view to attribute such
co n d itio n s to a sp e cific h isto rical ep o ch , sin ce the ch u rch has
been plagued by such abuses throughout its history.
If, instead o f lookin g to historical factors to explain the tale,
w e view it as expressing the in n er parts o f an individual person
ality , w e ca n see th e b ish o p as a n a u th o rity fig u re. T h e n th e
ghost w ould represent a repressed au th ority co m p lex , su ch as
w e o fte n e n co u n te r in p eo p le w h o c la im to re c o g n iz e n o
auth orities. C oncealed behind this auth ority and p o w er c o m
plex w e are likely to discover a religious problem .
Having put h a lf o f this authority problem to rest— but leav
ing the “ u n d ersid e” still to be resolved— the boy now m oves
o n to the su m m er grazing pastures. H ere in lif e ’s “ m id su m
m e r ” a “ n ig h t’s d re a m ” takes p lace that e ffe c ts a d ecisive
change in the lad’s existence.
T h e lad fin ds a cave. Caves o ffe r retreat in to a p ro tectiv e
space, an in n er, m aternal realm . This is w hy in various sym bol
ogies they are associated w ith birth. For the sam e reason, they
have also been im agined as entrances to the realm o f the dead.
For exam ple, the Sum erians told o f a realm o f shades in a cave
in the W orld M ountain. Caves have also been very im portant in
rites o f in itiation , such as the Elcusinian m ysteries. This is pro b
ably because entering caves provides an im pression o f regress
ing, o f reentering the w o m b and rcem ergin g in a second birth.
In caves, w e can im a g in e d yin g and b e in g re b o rn , and thus
they arc also (he sym bolic sites o f fundam ental changes in
the personality.
Elemental transformation is likewise expressed in the image
o f the twelve beds. The num ber twelve suggests wholeness (it is
the base num ber o f the Babylonian duodecim al system ). As
such, it is a symbol o f completion, signifying the end o f a spa
do-tem poral cycle. In twelve hours or twelve months, a cycle
completes itself. But in the tale, the number twelve is divided
in two— six beds on one side face six on the other. To m e, this
suggests that although the en tire life-situation is about to
change and a new beginning is on the horizon, what lies in
store may not be (he birth o f an integrated whole so much as a
confrontation betw een tw o poles o f reality: six facing o ff
against six.
The boy shows that he accepts this situation and, by making
their beds, prepares the way for the cave dwellers to find peace.
His helpfulness is then praised with great enthusiasm.
The cave dwellers arc in great need o f som eone to solve a
long-standing problem . Every m orning, (hey go out to fight
their enemies. In the evening, they declare themselves the win
ners, only to find in the next m orning that their vanquished
enemies are alive again and wilder than ever. Just like the ghost
o f the bishop w ho repeatedly demonstrated his inability to let
go and the huge ghoul who was not really finished o ff when it
split into two pieces, here is something that refuses to die and
declare itself defeated. Here is another “eternal" conflict.
If something cannot die, then it cannot be “buried"— it can
not be forgiven and forgotten. In such a situation, a conflict
betw een hostile factions is perpetuated ad infinitum . I think
here o f street gangs and their never-ending battles: even when
one gang has “w o n ," the members find no peace and quickly
resume their feuding. They usually do this quite unconsciously,
perhaps responding to a lurking feeling that the winner is not a
winner outright, but also to some extent a loser.
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY 20
What is at the root o f this eternal conflict in our tale? What

causes the slain men to keep coming back to life? What thing or
person is at work behind the scenes?
It is. we are told, a woman in a blue coat who emerges from a
hill carrying a can o f ointm ent for reviving the dead. Though
the talc identifies her as an elf-woman, we know that generally
in Icelandic tales, women w ho em erge from hills are fairies.
What do we know about fairies that might explain her role in
this conflict?
According to the Dictionary of German Superstitions, fairies come
from a “slightly exhilarated Celtic-French fantasy w orld .”
Embodiments o f celestial virtue, they sometimes come to the
aid o f persons undergoing severe trials. But just as often, they
simply dance in their grottoes with the joy and abandon o f eter
nal youth "fully adverse to the concept o f death."1As agents o f the
principle o f good, they rarely perpetrate evil deeds— and these
only w hen they are m eting out justified retaliatory blows to
ungrateful persons. The fairy must stay “light" in every sense o f
the word. For example, the fairy in ou r tale wears a blue coat,
which imbues her with the aura o f the Virgin Mary and empha
sizes her celestial nature. Fairies com e from a land o f many mar
vels, bringing such miraculous objects as magic hats and rings
that, w hen turned, transport the w earer from one place to
another. These marvels com e to the aid o f severely mistreated
persons, reminding us o f the miraculous therapeutic potential
o f the creative imagination. How often has it happened that,
when caught in a difficult situation, w e immerse ourselves in a
fantasy, and em erging, find that what was hitherto unimagin
able has suddenly become possible?
But how does this explain the role the elf-w om an plays in
perpetuating the bloody conflict in ou r story? This fairy is. in
fact, a dangerous one— at least for the hero o f our tale. At the
beginning o f this essay. I said that the tale describes the psy
chology o f a "m erely g ood" maternal sphere. I f w e include the
21 G E T T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
phenomenology o f the fairy world in this description, we can

begin to understand some o f the danger such “ goodness" pre
sents. This fairy world is too light. It is intoxicating— not in an
earthy, Dionysian way, but rather in the way o f a tantalizing
illusion. Now we can see that behind the will to possess and the
inability to yield there lies the fantasy o f everlasting life and
eternal youth. W e saw it in the figure o f the bishop and in the
image o f the enem ies w ho kept com ing back to life. In each
case, something was not allowed to be lost and forgotten.
As they are described in the literature, fairies are sim ple-
m inded. insufficiently em bodied, and unreal. This is w hat
makes them so refreshing for those w ho are torn between
opposites and bound by the limits o f reality. For those w ho do
not feel the conflict o f opposites or the limits o f earth, the fairy
may mean something else altogether. Indeed, for the boy in the
talc, the fairy represents a dangerous possibility; the ideal that
she embodies perpetuates an eternal clash within him.
Perhaps the boy understands this danger, for he kills the fairy.
Could it be that he has finally outgrow n an attitude that sees
everything as a game and does not recognize death? This seems
unlikely, because after executing the fairy, he plays one last,
spirited game o f killing and reviving, showing no sign that he
has glimpsed anything o f the horror o r finality o f death.
Together w ith the inhabitants o f the cave, he indulges in an
orgy o f death and resurrection, a m anic game lacking all sobri
ety. Although the taleis told in a style completely devoid o f feel
ing. it has a paradoxical effect on the reader— horrifying us pre
cisely with its lack o f horror.
In a way, this tale is reminiscent o f certain adventure Aims or
Westerns in which the characters die like flies. Since these are
“only** film s, w e view ers hardly take the killing seriously,
knowing that the actor survives in spite o f appearances. I sus
pect that such film s appeal to a haughty, om nipotent attitude
w ithin the view er that fancies itself sovereign over life and
death. No one*is completely immune to this attitude, which is

quite prevalent today in our collective culture. I think not only
o f the "dying and rising” games o f fairy tales but also the suici
dal fantasies o f certain persons w ho play w ith the idea— and
reality*—o f killing themselves. To these people, life and death
becom e a gam e w hose shock value registers w ith others but
w ho remain themselves oblivious to death and its irreversibility.
By killing the fairy in the blue coat, our lad seems to demon
strate a need to stop denying death. However, this docs not mean
he can easily divorce him self from his gaming mentality— he
goes on killing wildly in accord with the general principle that
behavior patterns often get much worse before they get better.
The hoped-for change does take place, however, w hen the
lad's head is cut o ff and then put on backwards. W hen the boy
sees his own rear end, the story tells us, he suddenly goes “mad
from the horror o f it." Thus we might say that the cave dwellers
"turned the boy’s head around"— altered his perspective— and
thereby gave him the shock o f his life. Although his own
behind may seem a banal sight compared to all the killing that
has gone on before, there are good reasons for it to have such a
horrifying effect on the lad. Indeed, the tale suggests that only
when we recognize the implications o f this lowly part o f our
being can we com e to term s with our m ortality. Seeing our
own backside reminds us that we are but creatures, animals. All
that is corporeal suffers the fate o f being taken in only to be
expelled again. Everything is subject to decay and death. U lti
mately there is no escaping transience, finilude, and danger.
Mad with horror, the boy asks for help for the first time. No
longer the gleaming hero who comes to everyone else's resale,
now* he is the one in need. Neither is he oblivious to the limits
o f the body and o f reality any longer. Conscious— at last— o f
his own mortality, he has finally become a human being.
Let us im agine o n ce m ore an individual w ho knows that
death is a part o f life and yet plays m anic games w ith this
knowledge. In principle he knows that all is transient— at least

as far a$ others are concerned. And then one day while sitting on
the toilet, he is struck by the realization that we can never hold
on to what we have brought into our lives. W e are but clay ves
sels; even our m ost sublim e visions are born out o f these
earthen jars, w hich are subject to the wear and tear o f sun, rain,
and the passage o f time. This realization plunges him into an
abyss o f depression, wherein he watches certain o f his illusions
die while at the same time discovering new depths that roach to
the painful bedrock o f human reality.
Our tale indicates that, following his abysmal realization, the
boy continued on as boldly as ever— taking all the riches out o f
the fairy hill to deposit them in the home o f the cave dwellers.
This seems to hint that even the most one-sided attitude co n
tains a treasure w ith potential value for the future. O nce he
invests him self in that future, the boy can at last put his dead
enemies to rest.
That “there are no more stories to tell about” the boy is to be
understood as a narrative device for closing the tale. The tale
promised to show us the development o f som eone w ho was
never afraid— not a norm al, properly anxious human being.
Thus it ends when the lad discovers that he is mortal and that
anxiety and threat are an ineradicable pan o f human life. This
“knowledge” seems to be a prerequisite for real relationship. At
least that is the suggestion o f those variants on this fairy tale in
which the defiant hero goes to live w ith his w ife once he has
finally discovered what horror is.
■ The Goose Maid
A N X IE T Y A N D S E P A R A T IO N F R O M T H E M O T H E R
Once (here was a queen whose husband had died many years
before. The queen had a beautiful daughter, o f w hom it was
promised that, w hen she grew up, she would marry a certain
prince w ho lived far away. W hen it came tim e for the girl to be
wed, her mother packed many precious things for her journey
to the foreign land— jewelry, gold and silver, goblets and trea
sures, in short, everything belonging to a royal dowry, for her
mother was very fond o f her. Last o f all, the queen provided her
daughter with a chambermaid who would ride with the bride
and deliver her into the bridegroom ’s hands. Both girls w ere
given horses for the journey, but the princess’s horse, whose
nam e was Falada. was capable o f speech. W hen the hour o f
departure cam e, the old queen shut herself in her bedroom ,
took a small blade, and cut her linger to draw some blood. Then
she let three drops o f the blood drip into a small white cloth,
w hich she gave to her daughter. "Dear child ,’’ she said, "take
good care o f this; you will need it in your travels."
Sadly, m other and daughter said their goodbyes. The
princess tucked the cloth in her bodice, mounted the horse, and
rode o ff to meet her lover. After an hour’s ride she became very
thirsty and said to her chambermaid, "I'd like a drink. Get down
and scoop m e a drink o f water with the cup you brought for
m e ." But the maid replied. " I f you’re so thirsty you can get
down and gel it yourself; l*m not your slave." So the princess,
w ho was very thirsty, lay down by the brook and drank
directly, because the chamberm aid w ouldn’t let her use the
25 ■ G E T T I N G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
gold en g o b le t. " W o e is m e !" said the p rin cess, and the three
drops o f blood in the cloth answ ered back, " I f only your good
m o th er k n ew , h e r heart w ou ld surely break in tw o ." But the
princess w as m eek ; she got back o n her horse w ith o u t saying
anything.
N ow the tw o girls rode along a good m any m ore m iles, but it
w as terrib ly h o t and the sun bu rned th eir sk in , and so o n the
princess grew thirsty again. Arriving at another brook and, hav
ing com pletely forgotten the lady's response the Erst tim e, she
called o n ce m ore to her cham berm aid , "G et d ow n and give m e
a drink fro m m y golden g o b le t." T h is tim e the m aid ’s response
w as even sh orter. " I f you w ant to d rin k , g o ahead and d rink;
I ’m no t your slave." The princess w as so thirsty that she did not
even hesitate, but got dow n o f f her horse d irectly, lay dow n by
the ru sh in g w a te r, and c rie d , " W o e is m e !" O n ce ag ain , the
d rops o f b lo o d in th e clo th a n sw ered . " I f o n ly y o u r g oo d
m o th e r k n e w , h e r heart w o u ld su rely break in t w o !" As sh e
leaned out over the w ater to take a drink, th e d o th fell ou t o f her
bodice and w as sw ept away w ith the stream . But in h e r anxiety,
the prin cess did n o t even n o tice . T h e lady in w aiting no ticed ,
h ow ever, and gloated secretly. W ith o u t tho se drops o f blood ,
th e p rin ce ss w as w eak and p o w erle ss. So w h e n sh e w en t to
m oun t h e r h o rse, the m aid said, "F alad a's m in e n o w ; you can
have m y old n a g ." and the princess had n o ch o ice bu t to accept
h e r harsh p ro n o u n ce m e n t. T h en the nasty m aid o rd ered the
bride to take o f f h e r royal garm ents and exch ange them fo r the
old rags she h e rse lf w o re , and to sw ear to the heavens above that
she w ou ld not say a w ord o f this to anyone at the royal co u rt. I f
she refused to take this oath , the m aid said, sh e w ou ld be killed
o n the spot. But Falada saw everything and m arked it w ell.
O n ce th e ch a m b e rm a id had m o u n te d Falada and th e tru e
brid e had g otten o n to the old nag , th e tw o traveled o n to the
royal palace. W h e n they arrived, they w ere greeted w ith great
ju b ila tio n . T h e p rin ce ran o u t to m e e t th em and h elp ed th e
chambermaid-down from the horse and, thinking he held his

spouse's hand, led her up the stairs. The true princess had to
stay in the courtyard below, where the old king, from his w in
d ow , saw her looking very gentle and fair. Right away he
returned to his royal chamber and asked the false bride about
the girl w ho had accompanied her. "O h . her. I found her along
the way and took her along to keep me company. Give her some
w ork to do so sh e'll stay o u t o f tro u b le." Rut the old king
couldn't think o f anything, having no work in need o f doing. " I
have a young boy w h o tends g eese," he finally told the true
bride. "Maybe you can help h im ." The boy's name was Conrad,
and the true bride went to help him tend geese.
Before long, the false bride asked the young king. "M y dear
est husband, I beg a favor o f you ."
"But o f course. What is it?" the prince replied.
"Send for the slaughterer and have him hack oflf the head o f
that horse that I rode here on. It was a bad horse and made me
angry." Actually, she was afraid the horse might say something
about what she had done to the princess.
The lady’s request was granted, and arrangem ents were
made for faithful Falada to be killed. But the true bride got word
o f it and promised the slaughterer a sum o f money i f he would
do her a sen-’ice. In the city was a Urge, dark gate through which
she passed every morning and evening on her way to tend the
geese. The princess asked him to hang FaUda's head from a nail
over the gate so that she could see him tw ice each day. The
slaughterer gave her his prom ise, hacked o f f the head, and
nailed it at the top o f the dark gate.
Early the next m orning, as she and Conrad drove the geese
through the gate, she addressed the horse's head, "O h Falada.
hanging there!"
And the head answered back,
"O h. young Queen, how ill you fare!
If only your good mother knew,
Her heart would surely break in tw o.”

The princess made no reply, She simply went out through
the city gate and drove the geese out into the pastures. When
she reached a m eadow, she let down her hair, w hich was o f
purest gold. Its glistening radiance awakened Conrad’s desire
and made him want to pull out a few strands for himself. Per
ceiving his designs on her, the princess spoke the words:
"Blow , ye gentle winds, I say,
Blow Conrad’s little hat away.
Make him chase it here and there,
’Til I have braided all my hair
And bound it up again.’’
And there came such a strong wind that it blew Conrad's hat
into a distant pasture and sent him chasing after it. By the time
he was back, the princess had finished com bing and putting up
her hair and Conrad wasn’t able to pluck a single strand. This
made him so angry that he refused to speak with her. In silence,
they looked after the geese until evening, when they returned
home again.
The next m orning w hen they drove tlte geese out through
the dark gate, the girl again addressed the dead horse:
"O h Falada, hanging there!”
And Falada answered back:
"O h . princess, how ill you fare!
I f only your good m other knew.
Her heart w ould surely break in tw o.”
Once they arrived in the meadow, the princess started com b
ing out her hair again. This time. Conrad leapt up immediately,
attempting to pluck a strand o r tw o, but the princess quickly
called out.
"Blow , ye gentle winds, I say.
Blow Conrad’s little hat away.
Make him chase it here and there.
’Til I have braided all my hair
And bound ll up again.”

Immediately the winds came up and blew Conrad's hat far
away, and he went running after it. By the tim e he returned, the
princess's hair was neatly arranged on her head w ith nary a
strand left for him to pluck. The two o f them tended the geese
until evening.
But that night when they returned hom e. Conrad went to
talk to the old King. " I refuse to tend geese w ith that girl any
longer,” he declared.
"But why?” asked the old king.
"A h— she irritates me the w hole day lo n g .” said the lad.
Then the old king bid him to describe in detail all that tran
spired during the course o f the day. "In the m orning.” Conrad
began, "w hen we take the herd through the dark gate, she talks
to a horse’s head hanging from the ceiling. 'O h Falada,’ she
says, "hanging there.' And the head replies, 4Oh princess, how
ill you fare. If only your good m other knew, her heart would
surely break in tw o.' Conrad went on to relate everything that
happened in the pasture where the geese grazed, including the
winds that daily blew his hat away and sent him running after
it. After listening to all that he had to say. the king ordered Con
rad do everything the next day exactly as before. As for the king,
he hid behind the dark gate and heard for him self the goose
m aid's strange greeting to the dead horse’s head. Then, follow
ing her out into the pasture, he hid behind some bushes. W ith
his own eyes, he watched the goose girl sit down and undo her
hair, and saw how it glistened. He heard her say,
"Blow , ye gentle winds. 1 say,
Blow Conrad's little hat away,
Make him chase it here and there.
'Til I have braided all my hair
And bound it up again."
He witnessed the gust o f wind that took Conrad's hat with it
and watched the boy run o ff into the distance while the maid sat
29 ■ G ETT IN G T H R O U G H A N X IET Y
calmly co m b in g and braiding her hair. Still un noticed , the king

returned to hi$ palace. But that even in g, w h en the goose m aid
returned, he su m m oned h e r to his ch am bers to have a talk w ith
her. W hy did she d o w hat she d id . he asked. “That I cannot tell
you, n o r anyone else, fo r 1 sw o re it to the heavens above, and
breaking m y oath w ou ld cost m e m y life .” T he king tried every
thing he could think o f to e n tice m ore in form ation ou t o f her
but she refused to say anything m ore. And so the old m an, w ho
was w ise, said. " W e ll, i f you w o n ’t talk w ith m e, m aybe you
can let the old cast iron stove know w hat is troubling y o u .” And
he turned and walked away. Indeed, the true princess craw led
right inside the stove and began w eep ing , m oaning, and p o u r
ing her Heart out. “Here 1 sit, abandoned by the w hole w orld—
and I’m the true princess. My ow n ch am b erm aid tricked m e.
took m e by force, stripped m e o f m y royal garm ents, and stole
m y hu sband b e fo re m y ow n ey es. N o w I am red u ced to th e
m iserable jo b o f tend in g geese. I f on ly m y good m o th er knew ,
her heart w ou ld surely break in tw o ." All the w h ile, the old king
w as standing ou tsid e, listening to h er co n fessio n s through the
stove-pipe. N ow he cam e back in and com m and ed h e r to clim b
o u t o f th e o v en . W ith o u t fu rth er a d o . h e had h e r fitted w ith
royal ro b e s, letting h e r beauty sh ine forth m iraculously. N ext,
h e su m m o n ed h is son and in fo rm ed h im that th e g irl h e w as
p lan n in g to m arry w a s th e ch am b erm aid . H is real brid e w as
standing b e fo re h im , previously a g o o se m aid . W h e n h e saw
h e r beauty and v irtu e , th e y o u n g p rin ce w as o v e rco m e w ith
jo y . S o o n , a m a g n ifice n t feast w as p rep ared , to w h ich all
courtiers and good friends w ere invited. At the head o f the table
sat th e b r id e g ro o m , w ith th e p rin cess o n o n e sid e and th e
cham berm aid o n the o th er. T h e m aid w as co nfu sed , how ever,
and d id n o t re c o g n iz e th e b rid e a n y m o re b e cau se o f th e
sparkling jew elry and royal robes sh e w ore. O n ce they had had
plenty to eat and d rink , and everyone w as in jovial spirits, the
k ing d e scrib ed fo r th e m aid a h y p o th e tica l situ a tio n . W h at
penance would she demand for a wom an w ho would deceive

her man by taking away his promised bride and putting herself
in her place, he asked. “W hy, she deserves to be stripped o f all
o f her clothes," the maid replied, “and to be placed in a barrel
spiked with nails. Tw o white horses should pull the barrel up
and down the streets until the contemptible wretch is dragged
to her death.”
“But you are that very w om an ,” announced the old king,
“and you have just described your ow n punishm ent, which
shall be carried out presently.” And w hen the punishment had
been com pleted, the young king was wedded to his proper
bride, and together they reigned in peace and happiness.
At the beginning o f this folk tale/ w e are told that the queen's
daughter must go to find a prince in a distant realm. Thus we arc
alerted that the tale will deal with separation from the mother.
The girl's father has died long ago, w hich probably explains
why the prince lives so far away. That is, the way to the mascu
line is a long one, and the daughter o f the queen must struggle
to find it. This is a parallel, though less com m on, to the folktale
theme o f the prince in search o f a princess. That the girl has to
find her own way suggests that she must travel a certain dis
tance along a path o f growth before she can have a relationship
with a man or achieve a sufficient degree o f autonom y. The
folktale describes the path that leads to autonomy and capacity
for relationship, a path which is at the same lime one o f anxiety
and its mastery.
Separating from one's mother, setting out on one's own for a
land far away, and finally finding on e’s spouse are all crucial
issues for a girt who is becoming a young woman. But separat
ing from the mother can also be understood transpersonally, as
leaving something that offered maternal protection and shel
ter— for exam ple, the family. In this case, how ever, it would
have to be a family that lacked something, perhaps one where
the unspoken rule was that all aggression would be transformed
into intensified caring for one another's needs. A current trend
demands that daughters should em ancipate themselves from
their m others. Rather than accepting inherited values and
images o f w om en unquestioningly. daughters today are
expected to be more aware and independent.
In our story, the mother-daughter relationship appears to be
a close one. and the princess is endowed w ith much inherited
wealth. Still, it is the queen herself w ho initiates the separation,
by promising her daughter's hand to the prince. Even i f she is
“very fon d " o f her daughter, she does not want to keep her.
What docs the m other give her daughter to take on her journey?
A royal dowry, including gold and silver. The princess thus is
equipped with things o f great exterior value. As yet. however,
the daughter has not earned this worth for herself; it is only an
inheritance.
The mother also gives her daughter a chambermaid. While,
throughout the tale, the princess is presented as the “ good"
one. and commands our sympathy, the maid is always portray*
ed as the “bad" one. stimulating our enmity and dislike.
It is unlikely that the old queen deliberately sent an evil
chambermaid with her daughter. More likely, badness in gen
eral has been omitted from the mother-daughter relationship.
Growing up in a sheltered maternal environment, the princess
has had few opportunities to deal with the “chambermaids" o f
the outer world— that is, persons who would try to gain power
over her, who would like to steal her privileges and her place.
Nor has she had to deal with the “chambermaids" o f the inner
world— including such inner psychic phenomena as power-
drives, deceptive intentions, callousness, etc.
But along with the chambermaid, the mother has sent with
her daughter a horse that is able to speak: Falada. According to
the research o fS ch liep h ack e/ Falada means “sanctified in the

name o f the old god o f light. ” Thus, the horse is associated with
Wotan. and the dark gate over which his head hangs can be seen
as an exit to the nether world. One may recall that Wotan hung
for nine days on the windy tree and spoke to a head in order to
know him self better. The Germanic peoples had a tradition o f
fastening the skulls o f horses in the gables o f their houses in
order to gain W otan's help. W otan was a god o f horses, wind,
and spirit. In our folktale the w ind plays an important role as
w ell; the princess knows how to deal w ith the w ind, indeed,
the wind is at her comm and. Horses symbolize, am ong other
things, a person's instinctive, anim al nature, the dynam ic
energy o f the body.
The connection between horse and wind is suggested by the
way both can g o wild. Ordinarily, the symbol o f the horse ex
presses vitality. But in the image o f a horse that can speak, w e
also find "w isdom ” portrayed. This is the case in various other
folktales in w hich horses speak. For exam ple, Tacitus w rote
about the Teutonic practice o f consulting horses for prophecies,
due to a belief that horses have a special rapport with the gods.4
If we see the princess as a daughter who needs to separate
from her mother, I think we can rest assured that at least with
Falada she has a good instinctive foundation and relationship to
her body. She is energetic, senses changes within her body, and
can deal with the unconscious. But the horse that is sacred to the
old god o f light also represents a problem. If the horse is seen as
an allusion to W otan’s exclusively inspiring aspect, there may
be too great a demand for light. As an image o f the masculine,
the horse may represent confinement to an overly ideal realm.
But the princess has also received a w hite rag w ith three
drops o f blood on it. To begin with, this rag symbolizes the on
going relationship with her mother. Even after the daughter has
been separated from her m other, the relationship continues
through the rag. The rag, which acts protectively when she is
confronted with perils, could remind the girl o f how it was

when she was still with her mother. From time immemorial,
blood has symbolized the seat o f the soul and life-energy. The
rag w ith the blood thus sym bolizes a psychic lifeline to the
mother, which has many dimensions. It provides comfort and
safety, but it also constricts the princess's freedom o f m ove
ment. At the same time, the talisman may also portray the goal
o f the daughter’s journey: to synthesize "w h ite" and "re d "—
i.e., marry purity and virginity with blood, passion, suffering,
and sexuality. O f course, through m arriage, the girl is co n
nected with her mother in a different way, because certainly the
latter could not have become a mother if she had remained pure
and while. (W hite may also at limes represent new beginnings
and the as-yet indescribable).
But above all, the rag appears to me as a kind o f maternal
comfort blanket. Thus, the daughter is never completely alone
so long as the drops o f blood can reassure her, " I f only your
good m other knew*, her heart w ould surely break in tw o ."
Strongly evocative o f the m other bond, this oft-repeated saying
reveals how little autonomy the girl has developed as yet.
As a result, the princess does not become enraged at the chain *
bcrmaid or fight her fate; instead, she thinks lovingly o f her
mother, whose heart would break i f she knew o f her trials. For
now*, the princess need not be aware o f the psychological import
o f her dependence on her m other; the narrative only requires
that she feel com forted in her abandonment. Meanw hile, w e
w ho read o r hear the story becom e conscious o f the m other
issue w hen we see how weak and subservient the daughter
becomes once she loses the rag. Immediately, the chambermaid
assumes a position o f power over the princess, for the latter’s
strength was only to be found in the rag— in the assurance o f her
mother’s help— rather than in her own autonomy.
For a girl to becom e autonomous, she has to separate from
her mother and find her own relationship to the inner and outer
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY ■ 34
masculine. Our princess must have been well-mothered— per

haps a bit too well-mothered. Basically, she has been equipped
with many values that serve her for now simply because she has
inherited them. They provide her with plenty o f energy and life
and put her into contact with her instinctual nature. However,
she still lacks a relationship to a human masculine figure. In its
place she has a somewhat idealized way o f looking at the world.
Everything that does not fit in with an idealized worldview is
split off, though it will o f course become active when the sepa
ration from mother takes place.
Separation is usually a matter o f stopping or quitting, or in
the case o f breaking with the m other, o f allowing dimensions
o f on eself to em erge that had not been perm itted to live in
relationship with her. Here the loss o f the talisman would have
the function o f reminding the princess o f what she is besides
the queen's daughter. Departing from the expectations o f what
she had been allows very different personality characteristics
to com e forth. The newly em erging characteristics may not
be very nice, and may, in their departure from old expecta
tions, create guilt as well. The result may be the emergence o f
an alter ego such as our folktale describes in the figure o f the
chambermaid.
The chambermaid gradually takes over in our tale. She begins
acquiring pow er w hen she refuses the princess's request to
fetch a drink o f water. Here, the princess's thirst may well be a
thirst for life— after all. it is what delivers her into the power o f
the chambermaid.
Earlier, I described (he chambermaid as representing a cluster
o f personality traits consisting o f a will to power, a craving for
prestige, and a lack o f consideration. In other words, the cham
bermaid may be viewed as the princess’s "sh ad o w ,'' as
described by C.G. Jung. In Jung’s view, the "shadow " includes
all o f those psychic and behavioral possibilities that we do not
live out because they arc not com patible w ith ou r conscious
attitude. The shadow can therefore be positive as well as nega

tive. It is clear that any change o f consciousness com es about
because one has lived out som e part o f on e’s shadow. This is
especially true in cases o f separation such as our story presents.
At this first stage o f her journey, the princess seems rather pale
and lost. She is hum ble, accepting whatever comes her way. but
has becom e subservient to the chambermaid, a puppet o f evil
powers. In other words, life is in the shadow. Or. as lung says,
the shadow is what entangles us in life.
At this stage, the princess presents a good likeness o f girls and
women w ho have a relationship with their mothers that shel
ters and protects them. In som e ways, such a relationship is a
great g ift, but it brackets ou t the m asculine. Such girls or
w om en w ho finally get up the courage to leave their shelters
(which can also be provided by a relationship to a Mm atem aT
m an). are completely surprised when the world does not greet
them with the friendliness to w hich they are accustomed, and
deeply injured when they encounter brutality and malicious
ness. Blind to their own craving for power, they easily fall into
situations where they have to “bend dow n." as the tale puts it.
to get themselves what they desire. Used to being spoiled, they
are unprepared to get for themselves what they need to survive.
They are used to being treated as important, which makes them
very unpleasant and bossy in situations in which they lose their
importance. Thus, w e can understand the chambermaid as an
aspect o f the princess. The instant the latter leaves her sheltered
life, she begins to experience the two sides o f herself: the one
w ho falters w hen she has to get herself a drink, isn ’t very
worldly, and cow ers before m aliciousness; and the one w ho
lives out the compensatory attitude o f assertiveness and does
not shy away from dark deeds. The maid is aggressive, dom i
nating. intent on becom ing important and powerful. Though
she seems to be autonomous, this is really an illusion; her inde
pendence is contrived.
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY > 36
s
Viewing the folktale as the depiction o f a woman $ develop*

ing autonom y, we can observe that when aggression, w ill to
power, and contrived independence take the place o f the ego,
the personality undergoes enormous changes. Persons w ho we
think we know well can suddenly take on completely new char
acteristics. If these changes are not to our liking, we say that the
person has degenerated. At times this assessment may be close
to the truth. So great is the desire to break away from their ear
lier life that they begin to live out their “w orst” side. This is
often the case w ith very nice w om en w ho, suddenly feeling
exploited and naive, make an immediate about-face to show
their hitherto unseen hard and dom inating sides. W ith the
"cham berm aid ” dom inating all, hardly anything is left o f a
w om an’s princesslike niceness.
In her haste to slake her thirst, the princess loses the rag with
the drops o f blood on it. “In her anxiety, she did not even
n o tice,” we are told. Typically, in ou r anxiety, we too forget
that we are protected, w hich may have the consequence that
our "protection" falls away, as does our sense o f our selves and
our strength.
What effect does this intense anxiety have in the folktale? If
w e put ourselves into the tale, w e can im agine ourselves as a
sheltered girl. For the first time in ou r lives, we arc traveling to a
d isu n t and foreign land. A single person has been hired to
accom pany us, but rather than helping, she oppresses and
humiliates us. Thus, not only are we alone, we are threatened
and don't know what our persecutor might chink o f next. Even
i f we understand the chambermaid to be an aspect o f ourselves,
the sense o f threat and aloneness does not disappear, because
such an inner shadow quality is indeed frightening to the
self. W hen anxiety seizes us. we are paralyzed in the province o f
life where we normally feel at ease. I f w e understand the cham
bermaid as a personality trait o f the princess, such anxi
ety would be the product o f a guilty conscience. The rag with
the three drops o f blood may be a source o f anxiety if it some

how communicates the m other’s disapproval and accusation:
“If your mother only knew what you are doing, it would break
her he art." Such anxiety can be helpful i f it stops one from
doing something that is foreign to one’s own nature, but usu
ally it is destructive, preventing one from taking the risk to
do something new and different. It keeps one in an infantile
state o f being bound to the mother. Thus, because o f the anxi
ety which causes her to reach back for her m other, the prin
cess loses the rag. Not noticing that she has lost it, she falls
completely under the chambermaid's power. This transition is
apparent when she surrenders Falada, exchanges clothing
with the maid, and promises not to say anything at the royal
court. But, we are told, Falada “saw everything and marked
it w ell."
Once the m other’s protection— one's safety net and lifeline
— is gone, a radical change o f personality can o ccu r, a new
motivation can replace the guilty conscience that has hitherto
driven the princess on her journey. T he folktale's way o f
expressing this is to say that she may no longer ride on Falada.
Previously 1 said that such a situation seems to indicate a “loss o f
instinct." O n the other hand, i f Falada expresses the principle o f
light, then the princess's deposition implies that she has to sit
for a tim e on a “dark horse" or undergo a “dark phase." The
harshness o f her present situation is in proportion to the ease o f
her previous life at home. Yet another image for the change that
comes over her personality is the exchange o f clothes. Clothing
expresses what we want to show to the w orld, facets o f our
selves that we wish to display or have others see. When a person
starts wearing a different kind o f clothing, we realize that their
relationship to the world has changed in a way that is important
for others to notice. In the folktale, the change is not deliberate,
but one over w hich the princess has no ch oice. It is not the
result o f free will, but rather o f manipulation and destiny. With
nothing left'to pit against these, the daughter is overwhelmed

by the dominating, authoritarian side o f her personality.
To be overpowered in this way by shadowy traits is a very
frightening experience, and one that results only when such
traits have been rigidly bracketed out. In fact, the chambermaid
belonged to the mother. So the shadow problem has a history to
it, and the anxiety bound up in it may have multiplied with the
generations. W hen the daughter swears on pain o f death to
remain silent about her subjugation to the maid, we see how
intense her fear o f the shadow problem really is.
What could this oath to heaven mean? First, it means that the
princess swears to a higher power that she will not divulge the
deception that has taken place and that has produced this split
betw een the true and the false bride. She w ill not let others
know o f it. Her integrity in thus keeping a secret seem s to
belong to her true personality, expressing a steadfast pan o f
herself that is bound to heaven rather than simply to the maid,
even if it was the latter who required the oath in the first place.
The oath insures that the princess w ill n o t tell w hat hap
pened, and it marks the aw areness that she is beholden to a
greater power. I see the m aid's threat o f death as a suggestion
that w ithout a perspective that includes the transcendent
d im ension, the princess w ould not be able to survive; she
w*ould becom e possessed by the inner cham berm aid, with
nothing remaining o f her true personality. The oath protects
her from this fatal development. She also seems to want to pro
tect her horse (or her instincts), as we are told that Falada (or
something within her) registers what is taking place. By taking
the oath, the princess makes a conscious decision to tolerate the
situation as it is currently, and thereby leaves open the possibil
ity o f future development. By the same token, it is important for
someone who has fallen completely under the rule o f a formerly
repressed aspect not only to recognize it, but to distance herself
from it to some extent, rem em bering that other possibilities
exist as well. I f w e speak exclusively to (he false self o f a person

in this situation, the person will not be able to admit these other
possibilities, even though she may be inwardly aware o f them.
The princess and chambermaid arrive at the royal court with
Falada, where there seem to be exclusively men: the prince, the
old king, and Conrad. Looking only at her clothing and noticing
nothing amiss, the prince is overjoyed to receive the false bride,
but the old king sees the shape o f the person behind the clothes.
Thus, though the initial encounter with the personal masculine
has taken place, the woman is not able to show her true person
ality. Nor does the man notice it. for his relationship to the fem
inine is not differentiated either.
Viewing the folktale from the perspective o f a girl or young
woman, we can see that once she has separated from the mater
nal, a girl can form a bond w ith the masculine— w hether
through relationship w ith a real m an o r w ith the m asculine
aspects o f her own psyche. Here, how ever, the one entering
into the relationship is not the whole person, but only the dom
inating shadow side. Thus we are shown a picture o f a relation
ship in w hich everything looks good on the outside, and yet in
which essential aspects o f the personality cannot be lived. There
is need for inner development.
And so the true bride becom es a goose maid. It is the old
king, who has some sense o f who the princess really is and what
she needs to experience. w ho sends her to tend the geese. In
ancient Greece the goose, sacred to Aphrodite, was a symbol o f
love and fertility. At the same tim e, as a creature that churns
about in the m uck, the goose is an attribute o f the Russian
witch, w ho often has the feet o f a goose or lives in a house that
stands on goose legs. Thus the goose is associated w ith a
"w itchy” aspect o f a woman and the “muck and m ire” o f phys
ical embodiment. At this point in the tale, the true bride is sent
to attend to eros, to the dark feminine, to love and sexuality. To
“tend” something involves concentrating on it. keeping it from
dissipating. T hus, the true bride m ust concen trate on love in its
en tirety , because w hatever co n n ects h er and th e p rin ce at the
m o m e n t clearly falls sh ort o f th is. Perhaps th is is a so -called
“exclusive relationship*' in w h ich she feels obligated to rem ain
faithful to the p rin ce, but it is far fro m a real relationship. W ith
the w ork o f tending the geese, how ever, the princess begins to
co rrect these problem s.
T hough the false bride m ay have had Falada slaughtered, the
instinctive bond s to the m o th er are not so easily silen ced , and
are at last activated. T h e m om en t the false bride takes away the
tru e b r id e 's last b it o f p ro te c tio n o n c e and fo r all and thu s
attem p ts to co m p le te h e r e n slav em en t, th e true b rid e finally
rises to lake action— m aking her deal w ith the slaughterer. This
is the n arrativ e's tu rn in g p o in t. Ju st as the horse heads o f the
T e u to n s w e re su pposed to d rive aw ay e v il, s o F alad a*$ head
should drive it aw ay. But in m y view , w hat is even m o re im p o r
tant is the fact that th e g irl n o w turn s back to Falada— an op p o r
tunity that m ay have b e e n created w h e n th e false b rid e ab an
doned Falada in favor o f th e prince.
Translating this scenario in to the p sych ology o f peop le po s
sessed by a lust fo r p o w er (a co m p u lsio n w h ich they feel they
shou ld be a b le to resist bu t c a n *t), w e ca n say th a t o n c e th ey
ach iev e so m e su ccess, h o w ev er sm all it m ay se e m to o th e rs,
they feel a certain sense o f re lie f that allow s form erly obscu red
d im en sio n s o f th e personality to em erg e. T h e goo se m aid goes
ou t every m o rn in g th ro u g h a dark g ate to an o p e n m ead o w ,
su ggestin g that sh e m ust pass ag ain and again th ro u g h a dark
place in ord er to co m e to a clearing w here sh e can find herself.
O f co u rs e , th e dark passage a lso su g gests that th is un hap p y ,
an o n y m o u s phase o f h e r life is ju st that—-a “ p a ssa g e." W h at
m akes this a passage and n o t m erely a dead end is the w ords she
exch a n g es w ith Falada. w h o rep eats w hat th e d rop s o f b lo o d
had said at th e begin ning o f th e folktale, rem ind in g h er o f the
positive m oth er— bo th personal and transpersonal.
41 ■ G ET T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
N ow the true brid e begin s to co m e to term s w ith m an. She

confronts tw o aspects o f the m asculine as she first toys w ith the
youthful aspect portrayed by Conrad, and then m eets w ith the
fatherly aspect portrayed by the old king.
A young w om an w h o is closely bonded to her m oth er, and
w ho has a distant o r nonexistent relationship w ith her father, is
likely to have a “ shadow'” relationship w ith a m an her ow n age.
like that o f the false brid e and the k in g ’s son. U ntil such a w o
m an has struggled w ith the childlike and the fatherly aspects o f
the m asculine, it w ill be difficult for her to b e real w ith a man.
Many such w o m e n have relationships w ith fatherly m e n w h o
have a very youthful side, o r w ith very youthful m en w h o w ill
play w ith th em and yet w h o fail t o fu lfill th e ir lo n g in g fo r a
fath er. T h e sam e th in g is tru e o n th e su b je c tiv e le v e l, o f a
w om an's relationship to h e r in n er m asculinity. H ere the in n er,
fatherly d im en sio n w ou ld m ost lik ely feel bou n d to c o n v e n
tion, tradition, and depend ability, w h ile the you thfu l d im en
sion wants to express som eth in g new’, creative, and evolving.
H ow d oes the tru e b rid e b e h av e w ith C o n rad ? First sh e
show s him her hair. W h e n h e is en ticed by its beauty and suc
cum bs to the d esire to have a few strands for him self, sh e in
vokes her m agic wrinds to w hisk him away. A w o m an 's hair is
closely linked w ith h e r e ro tic p o w er, rem in d in g us o f fairies
w ho co m b th e ir g old en h a ir in ord er to sed uce and b ew itch
m en. This is exactly w hat the goose m aid does. W h en Conrad is
seized w ith the desire to play w ith her, his hat is sw ept away by
her m arvelous breezes. It is am azing h o w pow erfu l the goose
maid has suddenly becom e— now' sh e’s practically a w itch ! Her
pow er is in part derived from her reconstituted relationship to
Falada, b u t also to h e r instinctive co n fid en ce and a d egree o f
personal pow er. She sends Conrad aw ay so she can put her hair
in order— that is. so that she can brin g form and control to her
erotic fantasies and braid them together. This exasperates C on
rad. For tw o days he co n tro ls h im se lf, but so o n h is p atience
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY - 42
runs out, and he goes to the old king to complain.

The goose maid’s behavior with Conrad represents a kind o f
“ leasing” that enjoys the initial infatuation o f an erotic
encounter but prevents the real relationship that m ight have
followed from developing. In this behavior, which seduces the
boy and sends him away as pleases her. she lets Conrad experi
ence her “feminine power” and her “witchy side." In a more
subjective way, this correlates with a situation in which a w o
man is fascinated by an idea, basks in the enjoyment o f it, only
to let it slip away without coming to fruition.
At this point in feminine development, the stage is set for the
“fath erly" to enter, that side o f the m asculine that guards
against such flightiness. Thus such w om en, fascinated by the
purr oetemus, run the risk o f opting in the end for law and order,
thereby avoiding what is new and trying to emerge, and miss
ing out on the divinities o f spring in their lives.
In our talc, a father figure appears w ho in fact finds out what
the goose maid needs. The old king asks her what is troubling
her. He wants her to give voice to her pain so that she can set
things right for herself. Having passed through (his phase o f
growth by tending geese, she has com e to a place where she can
be honest about what has happened. Here is a classic therapeutic
situation: Until now, she has been unable to divulge her secret.
Now she is no longer capable o f carrying it alone. The keeping o f
a secret may be the first fundamental step toward autonomy, es
pecially because one has to tolerate (he anxiety that (he secrecy
produces. But finally the secret must be let out; one must be re
lieved o f its oppressive energy by sharing it with someone else.
It may seem curious that the young woman confesses to an
oven rather than the king. But in addition to the necessity o f
sharing the secret, she must also keep her oath. After all. it was
through the oath that she came into a relationship with heaven,
and it is through keeping true to the oath that she stays true to
herself. And so the goose maid clim bs in the oven and begins
weeping and bemoaning her fate. For the first time she says to
herself, " I f my good mother only knew, her heart would surely
break in tw o”— at which point the king bids her to come out. In
thinking about how she crawls into the oven in order to make
her situation conscious, after being overw helm ed by the
shadow, we are strongly reminded o f processes o f transforma
tion, o f death and rebirth, and incubation— o f being “baked"
to completion.
In the shelter o f this extremely protected, w om blike place,
she can at last put together the pieces o f all that has transpired
and realize the full extent o f it. Giving voice to her secret pro
duces torrents o f em otion. Finally, she too can say the little
verse about how her m other's heart would break, w hich previ
ously was recited only by the drops o f blood and by Falada—
things magically connected to her m other, that represented
intuitive hunches more than conscious recognitions o f her own
terrible situation.
Applied to a wom an's psychology, this symbolism suggests
that a horrible, anxiety-provoking secret can only be aired
when the wom an has becom e capable o f taking up a relation
ship with her masculine side. Given proper and sufficient shel
ter. she can becom e d e a r about w hat has happened, and be
honest w ith h erself about it. Then her true personality can
unfold— she can be dressed in her “royal clothing."
That w hich was producing anxiety behind the scenes can
now be seen for what it is— o r, as in the tale's language, the
chambermaid’s plot can be exposed, and she can finally be pun
ished. It is comm on in folktales for so-called evil figures to con
ceive o f a horrible punishment for som eone else that is then
imposed on them, usually to their great surprise. The details o f
such punishments are usually extremely cruel. In some ways,
the barrel reminds us o f the oven, but the barrel's nails have lit
tle to do with the great m other's incubating aspect, and a great
deal to do with her rending aspect. W ith her choice o f a method
o f execution, ih e chambermaid indicates that she belongs to the

phenomenology o f the rending great m other, along with the
Indian goddess Kali and others. The story tells us that this aspect
can now be dispensed with.
Endings such as this one always leave m e feeling somewhat
dissatisfied. There may be a certain logic about eliminating the
problem in this way. But I believe that i f we imagine a real per
son whose positive maternal background and naivete have got
ten her entangled in life, whose negative maternal aspect has
thus becom e constellated and whose power shadow has
emerged, particularly in relationships with m en. w ho has enor
mously expanded her autonomy after tolerating bitter loneli
ness. and w ho has developed her differentiated masculine side
— the simple disappearance o f her shadow is no real solution.
One can o f course say that this chambermaid side is so dan
gerous than it must be split o ff and rejected. But here 1 have to
ask m yself to what extent the psychology o f the folktale re
flects a particular time and place. In former times, when collec
tive systems o f values may have been stronger, destructive
tendencies and darkness in general w ere repudiated in order
that people could reach the light. I believe that in our tim e this
is n o longer an option; rather, we must attempt to live out the
chambermaid aspect o f ourselves w ithout falling completely
into her power. Clearly, women w ho are free to take up a rela
tionship with their masculine sides will have less need to assert
themselves with unconscious power strategies. Even so, I still
do not think it is possible to make these shadow sides disap
pear completely, for example, by fighting “sadistically" against
them. It is more frightening for the chambermaid to be torn to
pieces, for then there is the possibility that she will reemerge
later as a ghost.
Only once the chambermaid is dead can (he young king and
the true princess marry. Only then can the relationship to the
m asculine really be lived; separated from her m other, the
young woman gains autonomy. (Concerning the prince's lack

o f independence much remains to be said!)
As to the subject o f anxiety and the ability to cope, we can say
that this folktale is concerned with the anxiety that results from
being overcome by a negative side o f one's ow n nature, a side
that comes up in dealing with separation from the mother and
one's relationship to the masculine. For that matter, it concerns
the anxiety produced by any separation, when suddenly sides
o f oneself that had been judged as inferior in one's previous life
rise to power and seem to overrule all other dimensions o f the
personality. The tale suggests that this anxiety must be suffered
and tolerated— after all. the cham berm aid goes on w ith her
plan, and there is no return to the m other ( i f there w ere, this
would not be a true folktale). The heroine finds a way to cope
with the situation, and through the development o f parts o f her
psyche (the masculine aspects o f her nature) that previously lay
fallow, the issue that produced anxiety can be consciously for
mulated— in this case in the form o f a relationship to a man.
■ Graycoat
FE A R IN S E P A R A T IN G F R O M T H E F A T H E R
Once there was a king w ho had three daughters. One day while
hunting, he entered a forest and lost his way. O n and on he
wandered without finding his way out o f the forest. As night
tim e approached, he m et up w ith a m an wrapped up co m
pletely in a gray coat so that nothing could be seen o f his head
or legs. Graycoat asked the king what his destination was. and
the king responded that he was lost. Graycoat answered that if
the king would agree to give him the first thing that h e m et
when he got hom e, he would lead him out o f the forest. The
king agreed, thinking that it would probably be his dog, run
ning out to greet him. Once the king was safely out o f the for
est, Graycoat said he would com e the next morning when the
clock struck eight to collect what was his due.
W hen the king arrived at hom e, his youngest daughter was
the first one to run out to meet him. The king motioned to her
to stay where she was. but she only quickened her step, and
arriving by his side, threw her arms around him . This, o f
course, made the king very sad, and prompted his daughter to
ask what the matter was. W hen she heard, she was at first fright
ened, but then she comforted her father, telling him everything
would turn out for the best.
The next m orning the youngest daughter put on a black
silken dress and prepared for her departure. W hen the clock
struck eight, a coach pulled up. inside o f which sat Graycoat
for everyone to see. Heartbroken, the king led his daughter to
the coach and handed her over to Graycoat, w ho then drove
away with her.
After traveling som e distance, the coach approached a huge

m ountain, w hich opened itse lf before the travelers so they
could drive inside. W ithin was a large castle with a great many
room s and a rich array o f food and drink. Oraycoat gave the
princess a set o f keys and told her that she could visit any room
she liked except for one particular room in the cellar.
Soon thereafter, the curious girl set about investigating the
castle from top to bottom. After m uch searching, she cam e to
the forbidden room and began to wonder what was inside, so
die unlocked the door. N o sooner had she done this than Gray-
coat him self came running out at her. frightening her so badly
that she was struck speechless. "M y child." he asked her. “what
did you see when you looked in that room in the cellar?" But he
obtained no answer from the speechless girl. " I f you cannot
answer m e. you shall sit in a fig tree where ravens shall tear
the flesh from your bones." After this, he removed all her beau
tiful clothes, leaving her stark naked except for her golden
necklace and golden rings. Then he led her out onto (he moun
tain, to a tall fig tree that stood at the top. She must clim b into the
tree and not come down, he said. The speechless girl did as he
had told her.
As it happened, on that very same day the prince o f the
region had summ oned a m ajor hunting expedition. On the
hunt, the hounds halted beneath the fig tree in w hich the
princess was sitting and began to bark and bay without ceasing.
Hearing the d in, the prince told his hunting com panion to
climb the tree and see what was up there. When the companion
reached the top. the princess removed a golden ring from her
finger and held it out to him. He took the ring, climbed back
down the tree, and told the prince that he could not find any
thing. But the dogs kept barking around the base o f the tree. So
the prince sent another hunter to see what he could see. The
princess removed a second ring, held it out to him . and he took
it. But the tree was so thick with leaves, the hunter couldn't see
the princess .behind it. Finally the prince climbed up himself.

Now the princess took o ff her golden chain and held it out. But
the prince took her hand instead and helped her down from the
tree. When he saw that she was naked, he wrapped her in his
coat and took her home w ith him. There she received the finest
clothes o f silk and satin and was so beautiful that the prince
married her. But she was still mute and couldn’t say a word.
After a year had passed, the princess gave birth to a son. but
three nights later, while she was sleeping. Graycoat came and
took the child away. The next m orning, the royal parents saw
that their baby was m issing and found instead an intestine
wrapped around a chair, as i f as to signal that the child had been
murdered. The young m other cried, but no one could tell her
what had happened.
One year later, she gave birth to another son. but on the third
night after his birth, Graycoat cam e and took him away, too.
and the next m orning the princess again found nothing but
intestines wrapped around a chair. The old queen demanded to
know what sort o f creature the prince had found in that
tree, who couldn't utter a single word and swalkwved her own
children. But despite her harsh w ords, the prince still would
not leave her.
W hen another year had passed, she bore yet a third son. But
when Graycoat took this child away, the old queen complained
so bitterly that the princess was summoned before the judge.
The queen asked her what she had done with her children, but
she could say nothing, and only cried. And so it was that she
was sentenced to death by beheading.
She w ent patiently to the executioner, w ho was standing
ready w ith his Urge sword. But just as she was about to lay her
head on the block, a golden coach drawn by four black horses
suddenly pulled up. and a terrible voice called ou t. MH alt!n
Everyone was still as Graycoat stepped out o f his coach. He went
to the princess and asked her again. “My child, what did you see
w hen you looked into that room in the cellar?” Finally, she
found her tongue again and said, "W hat did I see? I saw an
enchanted Graycoat!”
At once Graycoat was transformed, and stood before her as a
handsome prince. Then, taking all three children out o f the
coach, he explained that he was the one w ho had taken the
children and that he was their rightful father; that now he was
redeemed, and she was his w ife. He led her to his coach and
together they drove o ff to his castle, which now stood on top
o f the mountain again. The prince became king, and she became
the queen.
The foregoing folktale’ was recorded in Germany, though the

figure o f Graycoat is m ore comm on in Swedish folktales, which
unfortunately are no longer accessible. Bolte-Polivka" mention
a Swedish parallel in w hich Graycoat— invisible by day—
appears to the youngest daughter in a dream , as a beautiful
youth w ho forbids her to open a latch in the floor o f his room.
When she does so. and sees Graycoat, she is so frightened that
she loses her speech and falls down as i f dead. W hen she awak
ens. she finds herself in a wilderness. The rest o f the story is the
same as in the German tale.
I find the parallels between these tw o versions significant
because they reveal certain underlying patterns in all folktales o f
the “animal bridegroom ” type. The best-know n tales o f this
genre are probably those o f the “The Lilting, Leaping Lark“ type.
In these, a girl is promised to an anim al, usually because the
father stole a flower from the animal's garden. Out o f love for
her father, the girl stays w ith the animal and. by loving him ,
transforms him into a prince. In other variants, the animal bride
groom is a gorgeous prince by night and a terrible animal by
day. By refusing to abandon the animal, o r by burning its hide at
the right tim e, the girl changes the animal into a prince, w ho
then informs her that he had been enchanted by a witch. Often,

however, the young heroine bums the hide at the wrong time,
and is sent on a seemingly endless quest in search o f her prince.
In both the Graycoat and the animal bridegroom types o f
folktale, the male figure has two sides: one is horrible and fright
ening, the other beautiful, beaming, and youthful. The disguise
can be quite a cause for shock. From the end o f the Graycoat tale,
we lcam that this awful appearance is the result o f an enchant
m ent— though we never learn w ho did it— from w hich the
youngest daughter saves him. In the animal bridegroom folk
tales, women are not just afraid o f the animal; they are disgusted
and horrified by him— especially his request to be kissed. Gray-
coat, however, is more disguised, mysterious, and powerful.
Another parallel betw een these talcs can be found in the
father's unwittingly promising his youngest daughter to the
animal or monster— or in this case. Graycoat— in order to save
his own skin.
Let us examine the father's plight in the Graycoat tale m ore
closely. He sets out for a hum, but instead oflocating game, gets
lost and meanders around in the forest, unable to find his way
out. Usually in folktales, those w ho get lost in the forest eventu
ally meet up with the thing or person responsible for their los
ing their way— in this case, Graycoat, a figure wrapped entirely
in a gray coat. That the king has gotten lost in the forest means
that he has not succeeded at his attempt to shoot something and
thereby bring it out o f the instinctual sphere o f the uncon
scious. Instead, he has gotten lost in his fantasies, so that con
sciousness has lost its orientation and become wrapped up and
disguised, so to speak, in fantasies. Behind this loss o f orienta
tion stands the veiled figure o f Graycoat. It is not clear what is
underneath this shrouded figure— all that is known about him
is his grayness. Notice that the story does not at first tell us that
this is a figure that produces horror. Gray is the color o f a lack o f
desire, a lack o f clarity, a fogginess; it lies somewhere between
day and night, a dusky am biguity. Though w e can infer that

there is something w ithin the gray coat, at the beginning it is
simply hidden, unknow n. (N otice also that the king m eets
Graycoat just as night is about to fall.) If we choose to view the
folktale as the description o f an individual's situation, we might
say that here is a father without a w om an, w ho gets lost in his
fantasies, cannot find his way out. and therefore loses all desire.
He then becom es depressed and is confronted w ith the ambigu -
ity o f his fantasies. At this point, the man in the gray coat tells
him that he could liberate him self from this situation if he sacri
ficed something.
The king is ready to make a sacrifice in order to get out o f the
forest o f his confu sion, but he im agines that this w ill entail
nothing m ore than his dog. w hile in reality it is his daughter
w ho is at stake. This is a typical folktale m otif: a father gets into
d ifficulties, a quick solution presents itself, and h e gladly
accepts it. It then falls on the child to resolve the underlying
problem. (This m otif appears not only in folktales, o f course,
but in daily life as well.) The father's thought that he will prob
ably have to sacrifice his dog may refer to an all-too-hum an.
partial readiness to sacrifice: we know we have to make some
sacrifices, but let it not be anything too dear, please. On the
other hand, the dog also sym bolizes o n e's instinctual side,
which is to a certain degree faithful to consciousness and is of
ten associated with male sexuality. So, perhaps the father thinks
he has to sacrifice a bit o f his sexuality while in reality he has to
sacrifice his daughter, along with his relationship to her. The
daughter’s joyful reception o f her father and her willingness to
submit herself to the fate he has gotten her into hints that theirs
is an incestuous relationship. Moreover, the mother is not to be
found. This quality o f incest-in-disguise becomes visible in the
figure o f Graycoat, who by meeting the king indicates to us that
he is an aspect o f the king— a disguised, rather than admitted,
wish to have his daughter. This is the source o f the ambiguity.
T h e folktale can be seen to illu m inate the issues o f a daughter

w h o lives in an incestu ou s relationship w ith h er father. In this
m urky w orld , th e fantasies o f bo th father and daughter— espe
cially those that are o f an ero tic and sexual nature— play a large
part. T h e fo lk tale d e scrib e s h o w a w o m a n 's relatio n sh ip to a
m an and to a sexual p artn er m ay take sh ape, g iv en th is back
ground. At th e sam e tim e , w e can understand the g irl's incestu
o u s bond sym bolically, as an excessive attachm ent to the reign
in g n o rm s o f co n sc io u sn e ss em b o d ied b y h e r fa th e r, w h ich
m ake it im p o ssib le fo r h e r to ex p e rie n ce e ith e r a m an o r her
o w n m asculine sides as “ w holly other. " In this co n d itio n , n o th
ing really ne w ca n happen. T h is is probably w h y h e r child ren
arc taken away fro m h e r again and again; they sym bolize new
ness. and the product o f a relationship w ith so m eth in g that is
"w h o lly o th e r."
Let me illustrate the “G ray co at" issue by m eans o f a practical
case. A w om an o f thirty— m arried , w ith three children— looks
for a therapist because h e r life has b e co m e intolerably boring.
She is the youngest daughter in a large fam ily. H er m oth er died
w hen she was ten years old . She d escribes h e rse lf as h er father's
favorite. She shares h e r fa th er's p o litical in terests and follow s
h im at a you ng ag e to m eetin gs. As far back as sh e can rem em
b e r. sh e has had m any e ro tic and sexual fantasies, as w*ell as p re
co cio u s sexual relationships w ith m en. Sh e idealizes h e r father
and secretly despises all oth e r m en . w h o seem to h er lik e ho rri
b le "b e a sts.” T h is is especially so d uring sexual intercourse; she
thinks o f h e r father and is "tu rn ed o f f ." In each case , sh e held
th e m en resp on sible fo r th e " f a ilu r e ," p u ttin g th em dow n as
in co m p eten t, and so fo rth . Sh e desperately searches fo r a m an
w ith w h o m sh e w ould not have to think o f h er father. But all the
m e n sh e m e e ts, sh e says, are e ith e r "a n g e ls " o r "b ru ta l b e a t
e rs "— that is. m arkedly intellectual o r obsessed w ith hard sex.
At a young age the analysand m arried a m an w ith w h o m she
lives in her fath er's house. The husband is d eterm ined to keep
the family together. The woman is also very bound to her father
intellectually and docs not permit herself to think any thoughts
that would be unacceptable to him.
Returning to our story, we find Graycoat bringing the king’s
daughter to his palace, a castle inside o f a tall mountain, a very
obscure place. That she puts on her black silken dress suggests to
me that she feels a certain affiliation with Graycoat; though black
is not exactly gray, it is close. O r perhaps the tale wants to indi
cate that the daughter carries out her father’s wishes willingly.
Inside mountains is where recluses and fairies live. If Gray-
coat's castle is here, he must live in a realm very far from con
sciousness. in a very magical world. Thus we may conclude that
the daughter’s relationship to Graycoat consists o f highly
unconscious fantasies, triggered by her hidden erotic relation
ship to her father. At the same tim e, one can also imagine the
interior o f the m ountain as a maternal realm — sim ilar to the
forest in w hich the king got lost, w hich w as also a place sug
gesting nature in its m aternal aspect. Thus w e may say that
Graycoat, the king, and his daughter are all under the influence
o f the m other archetype in Us protective and im prisoning
aspect. This fits with the incestuous situation, in which the fam
ily often feels bound to stay together and compelled to suppress
all exogamous tendencies. However, in Graycoat *s castle there
is a room that it is forbidden to enter. W e know the m o tif o f the
forbidden room from countless folktales, and w e also know
that it is the very prohibition that stimulates the desire to enter.
Many different kinds o f persons, and sometimes animals, are to
be met within these forbidden rooms. Usually, one finds there
the thing that had been most intently banished from conscious
ness— and thus the thing most urgently required. The repres
sion is what makes the room 's content so unbelievably fright
ening, or numinous, or both.
In our tale, it is not obvious why the girl is so frightened by
G raycoat; after all, she had seen him ju st befo re, w hen he
picked her up in his coach. At this point I find the Swedish ver
sion more convincing: the daughter dreams at night o f Graycoat
as a handsome prince. The next day she opens a latch that she
had been forbidden to open, and sees Graycoat inside. Appar
ently recognizing him as the same person she has dreamed of.
she is SO frightened she loses her ability to speak and falls down
as if dead. That she has dreamed o f the prince shows she is capa
ble o f taking the step, in fantasy, from her father to the
unknown masculine figure. However, the figure she see when
she opens the latch is not handsome, but a disgusting, terrifying
Graycoat. Through this man, she encounters both the fascinosum
and the trcmendum. In her nighttime consciousness, sexuality is
something very beautiful, but her daytime consciousness is still
so frightened by the prospect that she loses her speech. The
same was true o f my father-bound analysand, who once told me
that she found sex at night very nice, but w hen she thought
about it during the day, she found "th e whole thing" disgust
ing. Sexuality dearly had two sides for her: a fascinating one and
a repellam one— just as Graycoat has two sides in the folktale.
At the end o f the folktale, we learn that the king's daughter is
so alarmed and frightened because she has seen an "enchanted"
Graycoat. Undoubtedly, it is the incestuous relationship be
tween father and daughter that makes this m an enchanted to
her. To understand this relationship, it is helpful to tum to the
animal bridegroom folktales, w here the girl is clearly fright
ened by the bestial side o f sexuality. One could also perhaps say
that it is the girl's fear o f sexuality— along w ith an inability to
accept the m an's intellectual side— that turns the man into an
animal.
Graycoat'$ question is an odd one. At som e level, he knows as
well as she does w*hat she saw. But at the end o f the tale it
becomes clear that the girl has to make d ear in her own mind
that it was an enchanted Graycoat that she saw— not the man's
true form , but a man put in to a terrible form by means o f a
curse. The girl feels nothing but unmitigated fear in this situa
tion. She has discovered something about sexuality and rela
tionships w ith m en that has caused her the greatest possible
anxiety. She can inter n o w ord, her throat is shut tight, and she
remains speechless for some time.
Everything bestial is unnerving. People w ho behave like ani
mals are profoundly disturbing, causing unbelievably aggres
sive. destructive, and sexual pow ers to erupt. For a g irl, the
experience o f m ale sexuality, o f sexuality in general, can be
very alarm ing. But w hen the situation is com plicated by a
highly incestuous, secretive relationship with the father, what
emerges w ill be even m ore alarming. Add to that the fact that
the father has not coped with the problem tumself and instead
denies the incestuous relationship.
The result o f all this anxiety is that the girl is led out o f the
undenvorldly castle and stripped naked. This brings to mind
Adam and Eve in Paradise. Being naked means being stripped o f
one's disguise and on e's protection; one w ho has been stripped
naked is vulnerable, but also ready for a new beginning.
This factor, along with many others, suggests that an initia
tion is taking place: The girl goes into the mountain, where she
experiences som ething intensely frightening. She reem erges
and is made to remove her clothes and d im b into a tree. This
last step reminds us o f the m otif o f tree-birth— growing out o f
a tree which embodies the archetypal father and m other in one.
a rebirth that has nothing to do w ith the personal parents. In all
o f these ways, the girl is being initiated into her womanly being
by enduring in her fantasy the anxiety associated w ith mas
culinity. sexuality, and her erotic desires for her father.
Such an initiation might take place in the life history o f a girl
who had an incestuous bond to her father and a great many fan
tasies about partnership and sexuality. In her most beautiful fan
tasies. she suddenly realizes that she is terribly frightened o f men.
who hide their true natures from her. leaving her to experience a
shady, murky ambiguity. These fantasies, this shock, bring the

girl to a new level o f development, the level o f a woman.
In the case o f my analysand, this phase expressed itself as fol
lows: After working on her material for a while, she was sud
denly alarmed to realize that she had actually “w anted” her
father, and that behind her rejection o f “animalistic sexuality”
lay a fear o f her own sexual desires towards her father. This anx
iety about her own sexuality had reversed itself, causing her to
“disparage” masculine sexuality.
In the folktale, once the girl has reached a new level o f devel
opment, the prince can succeed at his hunting where the old
king had been unsuccessful. Because he understands her as
a human bein g, he is able to help her dow n from the tree.
(Those w ho only wanted her rings did not understand her as
a human being).
The fig tree is a symbol o f fertility and excess; it was sacred to
Dionysus, and thus is a sym bol o f eroticism and sexuality as
well. Like a ripe piece o f fruit, the girl is plucked from this tree
o f eroticism and sexuality, given new clothing and made the
prince's wife. But still she is not capable o f speech.
As long as she remains silent, the only instrument she has to
use in shaping her relationship with her husband is her body;
the entire dim ension o f human togetherness shaped w ith
speech and language is missing. Indeed, at this point in the tale
the girl is portrayed as a creature o f nature— bom out o f the fig
tree. After this, the prince's m other asks him what kind o f a
creature he took down out o f that tree that doesn’t know how to
talk. Thus the w om an is one w hose en tire social contact is
restricted to her husband, and w ho may for this reason be terri
bly lonely; anxiety creates loneliness. And so. despite her attain
ment o f a new level o f development, despite her transformation
from girl to woman— a wom an w ho is the fruit o f a fig tree,
where sexuality and eros are given new meaning— she is Still
mute from the shock o f seeing Graycoat's true identity.
57 ■ G ETT IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
This is to say that, even though she has a relationship w ith a

new m an w h o d oes not resem b le h im in the least, the young
w om an is n o t finished w ith Graycoat yet. I f Graycoat stands for
the distorted im age the young w om an has o f m e n , ow in g to her
fear o f her ow n incestu ou s d esires, as lo n g as h e is in the pic*
lu re , th e re la tio n s h ip w ith h e r hu sb an d w ill b e m arked by
incestu ou s w ishes and an xieties as w ell. W hatever sh e creates
w ith the earthly m an can not exist— hence G raycoat's repeated
stealing o f her ch ild ren . As I said earlier, the sy m bo lic m eaning
o f an in cestu ou s relatio n sh ip lies in Us ban o n anythin g new
that m ig h t em erge.
The ch ild is a sym bol fo r w hat is n ew . T h is is w hy Graycoat
m ust keep taking the ch ild ren , stealing them away at night. In
all such tales in w h ich ch ild ren are taken aw ay fro m (heir m o th
ers in a m ore o r less violen t w ay . th e fath er is eith er absent o r
sleeping. T his suggests that th e m ale kidnapper can b e seen as a
"n o ctu rn a l” aspect o f th e m an. Previously, G raycoat w as dread
ful in the day. n o w h e is dreadful at night. T h is m eans that the
a n x ie ty -p ro v o k in g fa ce t o f th e re la tio n s h ip to th e m an has
b e co m e u n con scio u s— bu t n o less p o w erfu l. I also w o n d er i f
this d read fu l, k idn apping aspect m ig h t n o t also rep resen t the
w o m a n ’s su spicion that h e r husband d o es not w ant h er to have
ch ild ren. I f th is is s o . G raycoat w ou ld then also stand fo r a very
d em a n d in g , ag g ressiv e m a le sex u ality that to lerates n o c h il
dren. M en w h o can n o t co p e w ith th eir w ives b e co m in g m o th
ers are often un d er a heavy cu rse; usually they are tightly bound
by a severe m o th e r co m p le x . T h u s, w h en th e ir w ives becom e
m o th e rs, th e ir fe a r o f in ce st b e co m e s in ten se. In th is lig h t, I
w ould have to say that n o t o n ly d o es th e w o m an in o u r story
have an incestuous relationship to h er fath er, but th e m an has
an in cestu ou s rela tio n sh ip to h is m o th er. And ind eed w e see
that th e o ld q u e e n , th e m a n ’s m o th e r , m ak es su re th at h er
d au g hter-in-law is b rou gh t b e fo re the ju d g e. In this w ay, she
hopes to elim inate her.
The young‘mother suffers, cries, and yet says nothing. One

can imagine her suffering: Som eone has stolen her newborn
baby, which embodies her new beginning and her feelings o f
deep attachm ent, having brought it into the world with the
pain o f her own loins. W hat’s m ore, now she is accused o f mur
dering the child. Is it any wonder she says nothing? Indeed, one
wonders if she even knows what has happened. Graycoat came
at night, while she too slept.
The disappearance at night can also be interpreted. Life goes
on, new impulses for living are bom to the young woman, but
these disappear overnight; in the m orning she is left only with a
feeling o f loss and perhaps even with the guilt o f a murderess.
The new development that had promised to enrich her life has
vanished already, and it is probably her fault, she thinks. But the
real culprit is this Graycoat problem that has not yet been
resolved, and about which she dares not speak.
W e say that the young woman is not able to speak; actually, it
would be truer to say that she does not want to speak at the
w rong tim e, for, w hen the tim e is ripe, she does speak. Her
silence has another function as well; it separates her from every
trace o f the Graycoat experience. Since she left Graycoat, she has
bound h e rself to the positive aspect o f the m asculine, here
expressed in her relationship to the prince. In a real w om an’s
fate, this might appear in a scenario like the following. Through
the hidden incestuous relationship to her father she develops a
horrendous fear o f the "terrible” aspect o f sexuality— o f forbid
den sexuality. There is a huge secret, but she does not admit that
it is what is causing her anxiety. And so she sees only the light
side o f her husband, not the dark, instinctual, aggressive forces
that are at work, and that are still obscured by the incest fantasy.
After my analysand had become conscious o f her fear o f sex
uality. and o f her incest fantasies, she was gripped by incredible
shame about her own “instmctuality.” She was now able to give
up her "p se u d o -life” w ith her father. At the same tim e, she
tried to steer clear o f any situation in w hich she m ight be

tempted sexually, for fear o f the anxiety that might break out.
With the sacrifice o f her incestuous fantasies, her political inter
ests took on a life o f their ow n. As in the folktale, she went
through a phase o f denying her fascination with the w orld o f
Graycoat.
The Graycoat w orld and its incestuous interweavings can
also be understood sym bolically. This gray man in a castle
under the earth may represent an anim us figure. He is so
uncanny and fascinating that there is a real danger the woman
would simply decide to eke out an existence with him down
there— a decision which, for a real woman, could well amount
to psychosis. Such dangerous, seductive facets o f her own per
sonality. such fascinating fantasies, are capable o f dissolving the
ego and therefore must be avoided. They must be denied to the
point o f self-sacrifice— portrayed in the folktale in the image o f
the death sentence.
Just as she is about to be executed, Graycoat drives up. Now
that w hich has long been disguised begins to unveil itself. His
wagon is o f gold, his horses are black. The color gold suggests
qualities o f the sun— indestructible value and perfection— and
is also a symbol o f consciousness and all the tighter facets o f the
human being. The four black horses, on the other hand, are
creatures o f the underworld. If gold is associated with the spirit.
then black has to do w ith dark, animal drives, death, and
rebirth. Graycoat *s terrible voice is now m ore powerful and
anxiety-provoking than ever.
Here again it is instructive to recall the tale’s Swedish parallel.
in which the girl dreams o f Graycoat as a handsome young man
while Graycoat him self hides beneath the floorboards o f her
house. There, too, what is required is to overcome the split in
on e's image o f a single man. The carriage that pulls up in the
German tale prom ises to bring m ovem ent back into the
w om an's life and. w ith its gold and black elements, indicates
that the split irt the image o f man has finally been overcome—
or now may be.
The way Graycoat asks his question shows just how much o f
a father he is to the girl: “My child," he says, "what did you see
when you looked in the cellar?" Closely bound to Graycoat, the
woman in our folktale has in some respect remained a child.
Only when she finds her tongue— and thus overcomes her fear
o f Graycoat— can she say what she saw. She saw Graycoat, not
simply a man wrapped in a gray coat, but rather a man under a
curse, a man w ho provoked anxiety in all who beheld him.
My own anatysand’s final confrontation with the “world o f
G raycoat" took place after she dreamed o f her father as Pan,
with the feet o f a goat and ait erect phallus. The dream so star
tled her that she woke up. Now she began to understand that
lying beneath the relationship to her father was the problem o f
a repressed animal sexuality that was pressing for recognition,
and that this had indeed long been her father's problem. When
the princess o f the folktale speaks to (he enchanted Graycoat. he
turns into a handsom e prince, brings the children back, and
announces that she is his w ife. In the parallel Swedish tale,
Graycoat falls in to the ashes, out o f w hich rises a beautiful
prince. The castle is n o longer enclosed within the mountain,
but stands on top o f it, symbolically liberated from its disguise,
its need to hide. I f w e interpret enclosure within the mountain
as confinement in the maternal realm, we can say the man has
been redeemed from his complex by his w ife's love. In folktales
o f the animal bridegroom type, it is usually some witch or other
woman o f the forest w ho has transformed the man into an ani
mal. W e can interpret this in two ways: In order not to lose
touch herself with the animal aspect o f masculine sexuality, the
mother may expose her daughter to it so intensely that the girl
has the feeling that men are little more than "dogs" than human
beings. Conversely, a son who is still basically in love with his
mother will show women primarily his sexuality and aggres-
sivity. In (his folktale, the m other’s influence is a bit m ore sub

tle, since a mother figure does not appear until late in the narra
tive. And yet, w e can imagine her behind the scenes, working
her influence.
The folktale's conclusion show s the w om an’s fear o f the
masculine com ing to an end. Once she has overcome the split in
her experience o f the m asculine, the lust awakened by the
incestuous relationship w ith her father is no lon ger seen as
som ething dangerous. Thus, the folktale also sketches out a
course o f development from an incestuous to a real relationship
with the masculine. The anxiety described in the tale stemmed
from both a fear o f the instincts and fear o f the power o f mas
culinity, which in an incestuous relationship is both fascinating
and dreadful.
The story also shows a strategy for coping successfully with
that anxiety, in the girl's steadfast refusal to relinquish the posi
tive side o f the masculine and in her refusal to speak before it is
time, even though it is d ear that silence is no solution either. At
a certain point in the story, her life com es to a standstill. Her
children have all been taken away— (hey have not been allowed
to live, indeed, may not have wanted to live (the deathly bore
dom o f my analysand). In this m om ent, the old problem arises
again. But this tim e, the wom an resolves the problem by giving
it a name at the right time. Then all the life-energy that had been
missing can return again.
In folktales like this one. in which the portrayal o f great anx
iety creates a great deal o f suspense, a character’s ability to toler
ate (be anxiety almost invariably causes something wonderful
to take place. T he anxiety vanishes and makes room for
renewed liveliness. But it is important to find the right moment
for burning the animal skin, for naming the terrible truth. If the
naming is done prematurely, the integration and transforma
tion o f the anxiety-provoking content may have to be post
poned for a long time. W e see this often in therapy, where it is
crucial (hat the therapist not address an anxiety-producing

secret too early. However, in therapy as in folktales, It is also
possible to wait too long to address such a secret. For then the
enchanted m en— both literal and figurative— rem ain en
trapped in their animal shapes.
■ N ix ie in th e Pond
TH E FEA R O F O V E R W H E LM IN G EM O T IO N S
T here w as o n ce a m iller w h o lived happily w ith his w ife. They

had m on ey and property, and their w ealth increased fro m year
to year. But m isfortun e co m es overnight. Just as their riches had
g ro w n , so they dw indled aw ay year after year, and in th e end
the m ille r co u ld hardly ev en call th e m ill in w h ich h e sat his
ow n . Beset by tro u b les, h e foun d n o p eace even w h en h e lay
dow n at the en d o f a day's w o rk , tossing and turning in h is bed.
O ne m orn in g h e got up b e fo re daybreak and w ent ou tsid e,
p ro m p te d by a fe e lin g th at p erh ap s to d ay h is lu ck w o u ld
ch ange. As h e w alked acro ss th e d am . the first ray o f sunlight
broke over the h orizon and h e heard a sound co m in g fro m the
pond. T urning around, he saw a beautiful w om an rising slow ly
out o f the w ater. W ith h e r tender hands, sh e held h er lo n g hair
over h e r shoulders so that it draped dow n ov er bo th sides o f her
w h ite b o d y , veilin g h e r. He recog n ized h e r as th e n ix ie o f the
p ond , and in h is fear h e d id n o t kno w w h eth e r h e should ru n
away o r rem ain standing w h ere h e w as. But th e n ix ie d ecided to
let h im h ear h e r so ft v o ic e , and s o called h is n a m e and asked
w h y h e w as so sad. At first th e m ille r w as stru ck d u m b , b u t
w h e n h e heard h e r sp eakin g in su ch a frien d ly to n e , h e w as
heartened and told her that until now h e had lived happily and
w ell, but that o f late h e had be co m e so p o o r that he d id n 't know
w h at to d o . " H u s h ,” answ ered th e n ix ie . " I w ill m ake you
rich e r and happier than you have ever been in y ou r life. You
m ust only prom ise to give m e that in your house w hich has just
becom e y ou n g .”
"W h a t can lhai be but a new puppy o r k itten ?" thought the
M iller, and so he agreed to her co n d ition . T hen the n ix ie dove
back in to the w ater and the m iller hurried back to his m ill, feel
ing happy and relieved.
As he w as approaching his ho u se, the m aid stepped out o f
the front d o o r, calling out that he had cause to celebrate— his
w ife had just given birth to a baby boy. T h e m iller felt as i f he
had b e en stru ck by lig h tin g ; he realized that the treach erou s
n ixie had know n about the birth and had cheated him . W ith his
head bent low , he w ent to his w ife 's bed. W h en she asked h im ,
"W h y are you not happy about the beautiful b o y ?" he told her
w hat had happened to h im . and the prom ise that he had made
to the nixie. "W h a t good is happiness and w ealth, if it m eans 1
have to lose m y ch ild ," he said. “But w hat can I d o ?" N either his
w ife nor the relatives w ho had co m e to w ish the n ew b orn w ell
had any advice to give him .
In th e e n su in g m o n th s, luck and p ro sp erity fo u n d its w ay
back in to th e m ille r's h o u se. W h atever h e u n d erto ok , h e su c
ceeded at. It w as as i f his co ffe rs filled them selves o f th eir ow n
a cco rd and th e m o n e y in h is c lo s e t in creased o v ern ig h t. In a
very sh ort w h ile , h is urealth w as greater than it had ev er been
b e fo re . Y et h e sim p ly co u ld n o t e n jo y it. H is h e a rt w as t o r
m en ted by th e a g reem en t h e had m ade w ith (h e n ix ie . Every
tim e h e visited the p o n d , h e w as afraid sh e w ould co m e u p and
dem and w hat h e had prom ised her. N ever w ou ld h e leave the
b o y anyw h ere near the w ater. "W a tch out.** h e w ou ld tell h im .
" i f y ou to u ch th e w ater, a hand w ill co m e o u t, grab y o u , and
pull you u n d e r." But as year after year passed w ith ou t any sign
o f th e n ix ie , the m iller began to feel m o re at ease.
W h e n the boy becam e a you ng m an . h e apprenticed h im self
to a hunter. A fter m astering th e skills o f the trade, he w as taken
in to th e service o f th e lord o f th e village. N o w in that village
there w as a beautiful and virtuous g irl w h o m th e you ng hunter
grew qu ite fond o f. W h e n h is lord noticed the lad’s interest, he
gave him a small house. Soon thereafter, the couple were mar
ried and lived peacefully and happily in the little house, loving
each other dearly.
One day the hunter was out tracking a deer when the animal
left the forest and turned into an open field. Chasing after him,
the hunter laid him flat with a single shot. But the chase had so
preoccupied him that he gave no thought to the fact that he had
wandered quite near to the dangerous pond. After skinning the
animal, he went to the pond’s edge to wash the blood o ff his
hands. But as soon as he put his hands in the w ater, the nixie
rose up smiling and put her wet arms around the young hunter,
pulling him under so fast that in an instant, the waves had
closed over his head.
When evening came and the hunter had not arrived hom e,
his wife began to worry, and went out to look for him. He had
told her many tim es that he had to be careful o f the n ixie's
snares, that he dared not go anywhere near the pond, and so she
quickly guessed what had happened. Hurrying to the water, she
found his hunting bag lying on the shore. Moaning and wring
ing her hands, she called her love by name, but in vain. Run
ning to the other side o f the pond, she called for him again. She
swore at the nixie, but there was no answer. The w ater’s mir-
rory surface was undisturbed w ith only the m oon's half-face
looking sternly back up at her.
The poor woman could not leave the pond. Unable to find
either peace or comfort, she paced quickly around its edge, cir
cling it again and again, sometimes quietly, sometimes scream
ing out loud, sometimes whimpering meekly. W hen her ener
gies w ere finally spent, she sank to the ground and fell into a
deep sleep. Soon she was overcome with a dream:
Filled w ith fear, she clim bed up betw een tw o huge rock
walls. Thom bushes and creeping vines clung to her feet, the
rain beat down on her face, and the wind ruffled her long hair.
When she reached the top o f the hill, everything changed. The
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY - 66
sky w as b lu e .t h e a ir w as p leasan t, th e g ro u nd sloped gently

d ow nw ard , and in the m idst o f a g reen m eadow strew n w ith
bright ^colored flow ers she saw a tidy little hut. She op ened the
d o o r, and th ere sat a w h ite-h aired old c ro n e , w h o gave h er a
friendly sm ile.
W ith that, the p o o r w om an w ok e up. F ind in g that the day
had already d aw ned, she decided n o t to w aste another m inute
but to d o exactly as she had d o n e in h er dream . T h e clim b up the
m o u n ta in w as in d e e d stre n u o u s, and ev e ry th in g sh e saw
looked exactly as it had in h e r dream . The old cro n e w elcom ed
her kindly and show ed he r a ch air to sit in. "O n ly so m e m isfo r
tu n e ," she said , " c a n have brou g h t y ou to m y lon ely h u t." In
tears the h u n ter's w ife related w hat had befallen h e r dear hus
band. "D ry y ou r te a r s ," said the old c ro n e , " I w ill h elp y o u .
Here is a golden co m b . W ait until the fu ll m o o n rises, then g o
to the pond , sit dow n by the ed ge, and c o m b y ou r lon g , black
hair. W hen you are finished, put the co m b d ow n o n th e sh ore,
and w atch w hat hap pens."
And so the h u n te r's w ife retu rned to h e r h o m e and w aited
for the m o o n to grow full. Finally th e g low in g disk appeared in
the sky. G oing ou t to the p o n d , sh e sat d ow n and co m b ed her
lo n g . black hair w ith the gold en co m b . W h e n sh e w as d o n e, she
laid it d ow n at the w ater’s ed ge. N o t lon g after, th e w ater rose
up from the d eep and a w ave b ro k e o n to th e sh o re, w hisking
the co m b aw ay as it receded. As so o n as the c o m b had sunken to
the b o tto m o f th e p o n d , th e g lass-sm oo th w ater divided its e lf
and risin g u p c a m e th e h u n te r 's h ead . H e said n o th in g , bu t
looked at his w ife w ith im ploring eyes. Ju st th en a second wave
cam e up and co vered h is head again. Everything disappeared,
th e pond lay as calm as b e fo re , w ith th e face o f the full m o o n
sh ining o n it.
D e je cte d , th e w o m a n re tu rn ed h o m e , b u t that n ig h t sh e
dream ed again o f th e cro n e 's hu t. And so th e next m orn in g she
w en t to se e th e w ise o ld w o m a n . S o b b in g , sh e told h er w hat
had happened at the pond. This time, the old crone gave her a
golden flute, instructing her, “Wait until the full m oon comes
again, take this flute, sit on the shore, and play a pretty song.
W hen you are finished, lay the flute in the sand and watch what
happens.”
The woman did as the crone instructed. As soon as she lay the
flute down in the sand, the w ater rose up again and a wave
broke on the shore, drawing the flute away w ith it. Then the
water parted as it had before, but this time not only the hunter's
head but the whole upper half o f his body rose up. He stretched
out his arms longingly toward his w ife, but a second wave
swelled up, covered him , and pulled him down again.
“Oh, what good is it i f I only get a glimpse o f my love only to
lose him again," said the unhappy woman. G rief filled her heart
afresh, but that night her dream led her yet a third tim e to the
house o f the old crone. W hen she went the next day to visit the
wise woman, she was given a golden spinning wheel, and told.
“ Fear not. Our work is not quite complete. Wait until the moon
is full, then take this spinning w heel, sit on the shore, and spin
the spool until it is full. When you are finished, pul the spinning
wheel close to the water and watch what happens."
The hunter’s w ife followed these directions in every detail.
On the night o f the full m oon, she carried the golden spinning
wheel to the shore and spun eagerly until the flax was finished
and the spool filled with yam. As soon as she had set the wheel
on the shore, the deep bubbled and foamed louder than ever,
and a mighty wave cam e and splashed the wheel away. Just then
the hunter’s head appeared in a jet o f water and continued ris
ing until the whole body was clear out o f the water. Quickly the
hunter jumped onto the shore, grabbed his w ife by the hand,
and ran away. But they hadn’t gotten very far w hen the entire
pond rose up w ith a terrific roar, and heaved itself torrentially
onto the broad meadow. The fugitives saw their deaths before
them . In her fright, the wom an called on the help o f the old
crone, and in<an instant both husband and w ife were trans
form ed— she into a toad, he into a frog. Though the flood
drenched them, it could not kill them. Still, it pulled them apart
and carried them o ff separately.
W hen the water had subsided and both were again touching
dry ground, they were returned to their human shapes. But nei
ther one could find the other; they found themselves among
strange people w ho had never even heard o f their homeland.
High mountains and deep valleys lay between them. In order to
make a living, each tended sheep. For many long years they
drove their herds through distant fields and woods, their hearts
full o f grief and longing.
One day. when spring rose out o f the earth once again, both
went out with their flocks, and as chance would have it, they
happened to run into each other. From a distant mountain cliff
the hunter spied the other flock and drove his sheep downward
to where they w ere. Both entered the valley at the same tim e
without recognizing the other. Yet they were pleased not to be
alone any longer. From that day forward, they drove their flocks
together. Though they said very little, they still felt comforted
by the other’s presence.
One night w hen the m oon was full and the sheep w ere at
rest, the shepherd took a flute out o f his bag. He played a beau
tiful but sad song, and when he was finished, noticed that the
shepherdess was crying bitter tears. “Why are you crying?” he
asked. “O h .” she answered, “the full m oon shone exactly like
this the last time I played that song on the Bute, when the head
o f my beloved rose out o f the water." As he looked at her. it was
as i f blinders fell away from his eyes, and he recognized his
most beloved wife. Seeing him w ith the m oon shining in his
face, she recognized her long-sought husband as well. They fell
into each other's arms and their lips touched. W e needn’t ask i f
they were in bliss.
69 ■ G ET T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
T his fo lk ta le'1 o p en s w ith the d escrip tion o f a m ille r w h o has

b e en red u ced to u tte r p o v erty . F u ll o f w o rr ie s , h e d o es n o t
k no w w hat to d o . W e are told that th e m ille r used to b e very
rich and lived very w ell.
A m ille r earn s h is w ealth — o r rath er earned his w ealth — by
m eans o f the coursing w ater that drives the w heels o f his m ills.
T hu s w e m ig h t say that the “ m ille r" rep resen ts an attitude o f
co n sc io u sn e ss that k n o w s h o w to g et s o m e th in g o u t o f the
energies o f the u n con sciou s; he uses it to grind grain fo r m ak
in g bread, fo r p ro vid ing n o u rish m en t. But in the case o f o u r
p o o r, destitute m iller, this p o ssibility suddenly seem s to have
vanished. T he tale does not let us in o n exactly w hat has g on e
w ro n g , bu t on e p ossibility is that th e river un d er h is m ill has
dried up. In oth er w ord s, the river o f the u n con scio u s has dried
up— and w ith it, the m iller's life as w ell. Su ch a d ried -u p life is
depicted in this and oth er folktales as a state o f poverty, as it is
often depicted as a state o f childlessness. H ere, w e are not told
w hether the m iller has had oth er ch ild ren , bu t w e d o kno w that
the birth o f a son is ann ou nced as i f this w ere so m eth in g that
has not taken place fo r som e tim e.
I f in fact th e m ille r and h is w ife are ch ild less at th e sto ry ’s
b egin n in g , w e could say that theirs is a relationship from w hich
the life has b e en drained. Because the m ille r in this folktale is
th e fig u re w h o ca rrie s the greatest so rro w — at least to beg in
w ith— w e m ay suppose that it is the m asculine fram e o f m ind
that has lost its relationship to the fem in in e. M ore im m ediately,
it has lost its relationship to the em o tio n s, to eros. It has also Lost
its u n d erstan d in g th at th in g s m u st take th e ir o w n co u rse—
poverty follow in g o n w ealth, w ealth again on poverty. That life
m oves in cycles.
O n e m orn in g , w hen the m iller is w ith ou t a clu e as to how to
p ro ce e d , h e m eets a n ix ie in a p ond . In h is fear, h e d o es not
know w hether he should stand still o r ru n aw ay. But w ith her
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY i 70
soft voice, tho nixie seduces him into telling her his w oes, and
p ro m ise s to h e lp h im u n d er th e c o n d itio n that h e g ive her
w h atev er has b e co m e “ y ou n g at h o m e ." T h u s he is rescu ed
from his plight, but leaves w hatever has new life at his hom e to
face the nixie.
Here w e have the sam e m o tif as found in “G ray coat," though
here it is not the daughter but the son w ho is being given away.
The fact that the m iller d o esn ’t know that a baby has been born
in his ow n house is yet another ind ication o f how* inattentive he
has b e co m e in his relation sh ip w'ilh his w ife, and h o w stu b
b o rn ly p e ssim istic h e is. At th e very m o m e n t h e th in k s h is
poverty is co m p lete, a child is o n its way.
T urning now* to the n ix ie , w*e m ust ask, w hat d oes she sig
n ify ? M erm aid s are e x tre m e ly sed u ctiv e fem ale fig u res w h o
lure m en d ow n in to the w ater— just as in o u r folktale (and in
G oeth e’s fam ous p o e m . “T h e F ish er": "S h e drew h im in partly,
h e sank in partly, and neverm ore w*as s e e n .. . " ) . T hey seem to
w ant so badly to have a m an because they them selves have n o
soul. T hey are supposed to be unusually passionate and always
m anage to m ake a m an lose his head, so that he abandons h im
s e lf co m p le te ly to h is p a ssio n s, e m o tio n s , and fantasies. T h e
d anger is that the m an is eith er d raw n in to the un con scious, or,
i f h e loses his n ix ie , h e is plagued by w ild lon g in g s that drive
h im to leave everything behind and w ander o f f in to unreality.
Sinking in to the w ater, g ettin g lost in the w o o d s, losing o n e ’s
w ay in the desert— these are all sy m bols for the exp erien ce o f
b e in g ov erw h elm ed by the u n co n scio u s. And yet I think that
th ere is an im p o rta n t d is tin c tio n to b e m ade b e tw een lo sin g
o n e 's w ay in the w oo d s and bein g pulled in to the wrater. T hose
w h o are lost in the w oo d s at least still have the ground to stand
o n ; w*ater is m o re im m e d ia te ly e n g u lfin g . T h u s I th in k that
b e in g devoured by a n ix ie ind icates a m o re severe regression
in to the u n con sciou s than a m ere getting lost in the wroo d s. as
happened to the king in “G ray coat."
71 G E T T IN G T H R O U G H A N X IE T Y
The encounter with the nixie portrays a man’s intense anxi

ety about, as well as his longing for, passionate, nature-bound
emotionality. It was just this fascinating, dangerous emotional
ity that had no place in the m iller’s marriage. And that is why it
is now so seductive to him.
Behind the nixie, o f course, is a mother goddess— especially
in her aspect o f a love goddess, such as Aphrodite or Venus. This
explains the nixie’s numinosity. She is not "m erely” a nixie; she
possesses divine power. Vestiges o f such nixie figures have sur
vived into contemporary life— for exam ple, in the com m on
fear o f seaweed, which is often associated with a dread o f nixies
who might pull one to the bottom o f the sea.
O f course, it is not only a question o f fear, but o f the fusci-
nosum. In folktales where human beings have allied themselves
with nixies, or in which men fall in love with m ermaids, the
human is always longing for something completely different:
“depth." transcendence, or a going beyond the bounds, to an
unknown realm that is both frightening and fascinating. The
depth and transcendence is usually sought, and found, in eros
and sexuality. He who gets involved with nixies should be pre
pared to be devoured and taken away. G oing beyond the
bounds can lead to dissolution. No one w ho is seized by these
emotions can escape being changed by them.
In our tale, how ever, the m iller is not required to pay the
price him self. In his highly restrictive situation, the nixie
appears to him as one w ho brings new* hope. Although he is
enticed into telling her his woes, he is not really "seized” in any
profound wray. Speaking psychologically, we could compare
this with a situation in which one feels "dried u p ," nervous,
and depressed. Suddenly one is captured by an uplifting em o
tion, but there follows no real surrender because the emotion
seems too frightening. It is enough to have a taste o f that new'
and exciting (and dangerous) something. But. in order not to
dry out again, one must allow* oneself to be m ore profoundly
seized. For the m iller, this first, glancing encounter w ith the
nixie has been enough to uplift him— albeit temporarily— as
can be seen through the immediate restoration o f his wealth.
W hen nixies appear as w ater-w om en w ho take something
away from a human being, it is usually because they have been
taken too lightly and have not been allow ed to participate
enough in life. This explains why they are threatening. When
m en, or entire collective systems, split o ff their feelings from
consciousness, the longing grows— as does the danger o f being
flooded by emotions. An ‘‘addiction to emotion** then sets in.
The m iller's entire future— and his family's— is now over
shadowed by the anxiety that the nixie could collect o n her
promise and com e to take the boy away at any tim e. That the
anxiety is shared by all is shown when the father speaks about
the problem to the relatives w ho com e to wish the boy luck.
What is it, then, that threatens the boy? What is the problem
that he must resolve? I believe that folktales in which a child is
“sold” or “promised” to someone else indicate problems that
the parents have failed to resolve and that therefore fall on their
children to handle. Here we see the son becom ing smitten by
love, gripped by emotions that take him far away from human
life, and a longing that plunges his daily life into a maelstrom.
Like the animal bridegrooms, he, too. will become enchanted,
but he w on’t be there as an animal for his w ife to touch— he
w on't be there at all.
As I see it, enchantment by the nixie expresses an attitude to
the feminine, and to the great mother, that has to change. The
nixie dwells in a pond. A pond is also where Mother Holle, a
m ajor mythological figure, launches children into life and takes
them out again. Thus, pond-m atters often have to do either
with creativity and life, or destruction and death.
A sense o f fear, o f imminent danger, suffuses the entire folk
tale; but the tale also shows us various ways o f dealing with this
fear. To begin with, the father tells everyone about his problem.
This is probably a technique for soothing anxiety— w hich is

always less intense when shared among a group than it is when
carried by an individual.
Another measure the father takes against anxiety is to warn
the boy not to go near the pond lest the water-w oman pull him
under. This works quite well in subverting the danger— at least
until the boy grows up. However, it seems that the nixie is not
interested in him until he has grow n up—-that is. until the
issues o f love and sexuality becom e relevant. At that point, he
apprentices him self to a hunter— another strategy for avoiding
anxiety, and a very clever one indeed. For now he has regular
contact with animals o f the forest and the air, but not with those
o f the water. In other w ords, he becom es fam iliar w ith the
realm o f the vegetative unconscious and also develops a very
conscious and goal-oriented attitude, but he keeps a safe dis
tance from the dangerous pond.
Again we can find a parallel to this situation in therapy.
Sometimes wre encounter persons for w*hom a certain dim en
sion o f the unconscious may be very dangerous and overpow
ering. They then cultivate other dimensions o f the unconscious
and thus gain in ego strength, so that eventually they may be
able to go on and confront what is threatening them.
Having learned his trade and joined the services o f the village
lord, he now* grows fond o f a girl whom he takes for his wife.
Also, the lord he serves gives him a house. Thus we see that the
hunter has becom e capable o f a relationship to a woman, to the
feminine— even i f it is a rather modest relationship (the house
is sm all). They live together in peace and happiness and love
each other dearly. It is at this point that the man becomes inter
esting to the nixie— the mom ent in which he loves someone,
his em otions break out. his passion is released. I f he was ever in
danger o f being devoured, it is now*.
In folktales, w e often find deer luring heroes into distant
regions in which they meet something or someone (hat causes a
transformation to take place. A deer in flight can express a long

ing for something for which no words can be found, a sense o f
one's being pulled toward something unknown. In this tale, the
hunter kills the deer, and thus we might think that he kills his
longing. And yet. because he has to wash its blood o ff his hands,
we can say that the deer has led him to the nixie and to the pond.
When he does not com e hom e, his wife suspects something
because she knows he had always been on guard against the
nixie's snares. When she goes to the pond and finds his hunting
bag. she knows instantly what has happened. She calls to him ,
but he gives no answer. She has now lost all contact with her
husband, and cannot And a way to reach him. From the Odyssey
wc know that those w ho hear the sirens go mad. Though we
cannot say whether the hunter is psychotic or depressive— or
has simply stepped into the trap o f a real nixie— w c do know
that the woman can no longer talk with him . In effect, the rela
tionship is over, his longing for her has ceased.
This im age illustrates what can happen to a man w ho has
long kept in check his infatuation w ith nixies. It also shows u$
the fascinosum and danger o f an unconscious content that is
bound up w ith em otionality, the body, and love. The man may
have been able to protect him self from this fate by cultivating
strategies o f avoidance, but at some point the object o f anxiety
would have to be dealt with. For avoidance cannot completely
erase longing, and longing leads us to the things that w e are
afraid of. Particularly in the province o f the nixies, the thing
that triggers anxiety can neither be recognized as a projection
nor be approached through rational inquiry. Thus, one is sim
ply overpowered and. having fallen into the trap, no longer vis
ible to the world, no longer present or comprehendable.
A twenty-four-year-old man I know— a very rational, col
lected. and capable student of economics— has a “nixie-aium a"
o f this variety. In reality the man suffers from an intense fear o f
“nixie'* wom en. They destroy his calm and poise and flood him
with sexual and erotic desires that throw him into a state o f con
fusion whether or not he acts upon them. His girlfriend is not a
nixie. But whenever a nixie comes up in a dream, he becomes
submerged in erotic and sexual fantasies. For days on end, he
shuts him self up in his apartment, w hich he darkens with green
curtains, and celebrates these fantasies. During these episodes,
he is unavailable to his girlfriend. No matter how desperate she
may be, she cannot get through to him .
In the folktale, the center o f gravity now shifts to the woman,
and thus my interpretation will now shift to her perspective.
Having been abandoned, she is desperate, and will not leave the
place o f her misfortune. Circling around and around the pond,
she gives voice to all her g rief about the separation, mulling
over her tragedy from all angles, Finally, she sinks to the ground
exhausted, falls asleep, and has a dream. Though all o f her con
scious efforts, m oaning, and w ailing have been o f no use in
bringing her man back, they probably do bring on the dream.
The arduous clim b up the mountain in the w om an's dream
can be interpreted as a journey to "get over" the negative aspect
o f Mother Nature, w ho is in some respects comparable with the
nixie. Discovering a wise old woman w ho is ready to help, the
w om an encounters an em bodim ent o f the good aspect o f the
mother. This aspect o f the mother archetype has nothing to do
with the water, but in her trim little house in the green meadow
strewn with flowers in bloom , is definitely a part o f nature.
The dream foretells a feeling o f liberation that will com e after
a phase o f hindrance. That is to say, once the hunter's w ife has
overcome certain difficulties, she will have the sense o f being
helped. The dream promises that she will not always have to do
everything herself and leads her to expect that the situation will
clarify itself. In other words, the anxiety will abate. Here the
folktale makes no distinction between dream and reality. W hat
ever is seen in the dream is viewed as a direct suggestion about
concrete actions that should be taken in life.
T H R O U G H E M O T IO N S T O M ATURITY • 76
T h e w o m a n 's ard uous clim b u p th e m ou n tain can be c o m

pared w ith th e h u n te r's la b o rio u s em erg e n c e fro m th e risin g
tid e, w h ich co m e s later in th e story. In m y view , it suggests that
by en gag in g h e r o w n p o ssib ilities o r w o rk in g o n h e rself, the
w om an can resolve th e p ro blem o f b e in g devoured b y th e dark
aspect o f nature. It is easier fo r h er than fo r h er husband, sin ce
th e pond has n o t sw ep t h e r aw ay. B u t, to th e sam e e x te n t to
w h ic h sh e ca n w o rk o n th e p ro b le m w ith in h e rs e lf, sh e r e
d eem s h e r husband as w ell. I f w e see th e folktale as th e descrip
tio n o f a d y n a m ic w ith in a c o u p le , w e m ay assum e that b o th
partners have th e sam e basic co n flict— that o f bein g threatened
by an en tran cin g , d evou ring, proliferating natu re-sprite w h o is
capable o f pulling them aw ay fro m life. I f th e n ix ie represents
su ch a d a n g e ro u s te n d e n cy w ith in th e m a n , th e n w e can
assum e he has m arried a w om an w h o has this nixielik e, nature-
sprite quality, but w h o probably represses it com pletely.
T o illum inate w ith a case study: A m arried m an and w om an ,
each about forty years old , sought therapy. T he m an told o f an
o v e rp o w e rin g fa scin a tio n fo r n ix ie w o m e n , w h o w ith each
e x p e rie n c e pu lled h im fu rth e r aw ay fro m reality . H is e n
cou nters had little to d o w ith relationship, but w ere m om ents
o f a sin k in g , o rg ia s tic e x p e rie n c e . T h e w o m a n h e m arried
seem ed the exact op posite o f a n ix ie: she w as even -tem pered ,
dependable, not in the least co n scio u s o f h er p o w er to seduce,
“ there for h im ,” em pathic. O n e could even say sh e w as "a n ti
n ix ie ”— so very a n tin ix ic that o n e w as o b lig ed to ask certain
questions.
O n e day the m an fell helplessly in love w ith yet another nixie
w om an, li w as terrible for h im , and n o less terrible fo r h is w ife.
W h e n they cam e fo r therapy, not long after this happened, they
asked w hat they co u ld d o ab o u t th eir situ ation . L ooking in to
h er d ream s, the w om an w as very qu ickly co n fron ted w ith her
ow n nixielike sides. T o her great surprise, she had n o difficulty
in d e v e lo p in g th ese fa ce ts o f h e r p erso n ality . T h e co u p le
resolved their marital issue after each worked intensively on the

development o f their undercultivated sides.
Returning to the folktale, the hunter’s w ife’s ascent up the
mountain to find the woman with the white hair strikes m e as
an ascent to the "lig h t" fem inine. The place w here this old
woman lives gives the impression o f orderliness, and the wrork
that lies before the hunter’s wife has to do with making order.
The old crone is very em pathic. and it is to her that one
comes after having suffered some misfortune. She is a kind o f
m other— archetypal rather than personal— w hom one seeks
out for advice. At the level o f the individual psyche, this figure
would suggest that the hunter’s w ife is approaching a deeper
level o f understanding. Initially, she may not have grasped what
was happening to her. O nce she does, she is faced w ith the
absolute finality o f her tragic loss, and with her inability to do
anything about it by her herself. Then, after going through a
period o f g rief work, a dream, an intuition, o r an encounter
gives her an idea about what can be done.
In other words, after the negative aspect o f an archetype— in
this case the nixie in her purely devouring aspect— has done its
work and its effects on the psyche have been emotionally inte
grated, the positive aspect o f the same archetype is constellated,
pointing the way toward growth out o f the situation. O f course,
such a process requires a quality o f emotional openness such as
the woman in the folktale displays. This is someone w ho is truly
open to intuition, dreams, and the irrational in a positive sense.
It is a basic experience and conviction o f Jungian psychology
that if one recognizes and suffers through a present difficulty in
the psyche, its complement will begin to constellate itself; thus,
if one does not avoid the negative, the positive aspect will make
itself known. W hen a woman in such a situation has dreams
like those o f the hunter's w ife, we would encourage her to use
active imagination to contact the w ise old woman (a wise, fem
inine aspect o f her own psyche), w ho knows how to proceed.
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY - 78
O n e w o u ld e n co u ra g e th e w o m a n to seek th e ad v ice o f th is
“ in n e r" w om an.
Clearly, the w om an in this folktale has few er problem s d eal'
ing w ith her ow n n ix ie nature than her husband d oes, and this
is w h at allo w s h e r to m ake th e req u ired d evelo p m en tal step.
T h e first g ift sh e re c e iv e s is a g o ld en c o m b , w h ic h sh e is
instructed to use to co m b h e r lon g , black hair in the light o f the
full m o o n . T h e c o m b is an e ro tic instrum ent that n ixies use to
en tice m en w ith , by co m b in g o u t th e ir lo n g g old en o r black
hair. By co m b in g h e r h air in the fu ll m o o n , the h u n ter's w ife
consciously takes over a ro le the nixie has played for h er u n co n
sciously: o n e could say that she becom es co nscio u s o f h er ow n
pow ers o f e ro tic sed uction , thus d eliberately becom in g a bit o f
a n ix ie h e rself. And in d e e d , th is act su cceed s in b rin g in g th e
h u n te r’s head up o u t o f th e risin g tid ew aters— i .e ., it cau ses
him to b e g in re e m e rg in g as a p erso n . A lso, in ad d itio n to its
e ro tic c o n n o ta tio n s , c o m b in g h as th e m e a n in g o f b r in g in g
ord er in to the hair.
T h e m an loo ks im p lo rin g ly at his w ife and then sin ks back
under the w aves, leaving his w ife to quit the pond in d ejeciion .
But again h er dream brings up the im age o f the old cro n e. The
w om an m ust o n ce m ore w ail until the full m o o n , play a song
o n th e flu te , and th e n put th e flu te d o w n ag ain . T h e flu te is
an o th e r in stru m en t n ix ie s use to sed uce m en . Us so ft, liltin g
ton es aw aken a m a n ’s lo n g in g s, em o tio n s, and feelin gs. Flute
to n es aw aken so m eth in g '*transcendental*’ in m en as w ell— a
lon gin g fo r the eternal. T hus w e m igh t say that by playing the
so n g , th e h u n te r ’s w ife sed u ce s h e r hu sb an d back fro m th e
realm o f the n ixies. N o w the upper h a lf o f h is body b eco m es
visible, but g rie f fills h e r heart all ov er again w hen he sinks back
d ow n below the surf. W hat is the point in seeing him again and
again w ith ou t being able to re jo in him ?
At the n e x t full m o o n th e w ife is to o ccu p y h e r s e lf w ith a
spinning w h eel, by spinning a spool o f yam by the w ater. Spin-
ning is something that the great mother goddesses do; they spin
the threads o f fate. Clearly this is no activity for a nixie. Indeed,
one has the feeling that everything about the nixies is chaotic
and in disarray. Spinning means making order out o f chaos,
making a thread to follow that would lead on e out o f this
chaotic, emotional, instinctual situation. But spinning also sug
gests fantasizing: w e say that som eone is “spinning out a fan
tasy ." o r "sp in ning a y arn ." W ork o f a m ethodical nature
encourages us to spin out fantasies. It could be that, when the
woman spins by the water in the full m oon, she fantasizes about
her life with her man and thus begins to see him again for the
man he is. Fantasizing about someone can often help us to see
them in perspective. Som etim es w e need to fill a relationship
with our positive projections before w e can overcome what is
destructive about it. By believing som ething positive about
someone, w e arrive at the faith that a man can free h im selfof his
fascination by a nixie, which can give him an added impetus to
accomplish the task and. ultimately, change dramatically the
dynamic o f the couple. O f course this is easier said than done!
In the folktale, at least, the w ife's fantasies do help. The man
arises out o f the w ater a third tim e, and they flee w ith each
other. The fact that they both must flee means that danger is still
present. Indeed, the pond immediately floods over, and a deep
regression takes place. In the very mom ent that they have gotten
through the disembodied phase o f their relationship, the water
washes over them again, now bringing both o f them into the
realm o f the nixies. But. remarkably, the old crone’s ever-ready
help transforms the woman into a toad and the man into a frog.
Animals o f both land and water, toads and frogs are animals o f
transition, and by virtue o f the many developmental forms that
they pass through, serve as symbols o f transformation. Indeed,
one can think o f them as advertisements for the possibility o f
transform ation. But w'hen a man and w om an can only en
counter each other as toad and frog, their meeting is limited to
the realm o f Sexuality; individuality plays no role. Thus, after

the water ebbs away, they lose track o f each other again,
Now the man and the woman must follow their own paths o f
development, enduring many years o f sheep-herding in grief
and longing. This long period apart can be understood to repre
sent the alienating rift that occurs after two people have loved
each other m erely as creatures o f a species, so to speak, and
allowed the longing for the human and the spiritual aspect o f
love to go unanswered. At this point, both partners retract into
themselves and their own desiring, mourning— the tending o f
their ow n flocks. This is a work o f concentration, o f holding
oneself together, which leads to outward as well as inward com
posure. and contrasts starkly w ith the boundless emotionality
triggered by the nixie. In general, it appears to m e that an em o
tional realm is now being cultivated that is quite the opposite o f
the world o f the nixies. This realm is characterized by quiet
longing, relatedness to oneself, and contemplation— which o f
course points to the principle that whoever propagates and lives
out the “loud" emotions will have at some point to cultivate the
“q u id " em otions. Examples o f this principle are provided by
many representatives o f the so-called '60s generation, w ho,
after preaching and living out the “loud" emotions in their early
years, went on to become dedicated meditators later on.
Toward the end o f the tale, springtime breaks forth, suggest
ing that the forces o f life emerge again from o f the earth, that
eros lives again, thus that the husband and wife can be reunited.
Although they don’t yet recognize each other, a rapprochement
takes place. And (he full m oon shines again. In general, the
m oon symbolizes the rhythm o f all natural life. In this folktale it
is clearly also to be seen in connection w ith the experience o f
the feminine. The full m oon would then be the phase in which
the positive aspect o f the feminine comes to fruition. Now the
man plays the flute— that is, he can reveal and express his feel
ings, the entire scale o f his feelings for his wife. This touches
her feelings as w ell, and she cries. Now they really recognize
each other. T heir relationship can be w hole, for they are no
longer sw ept away by life ’s instinctual undertow , but have
made room for a dim ension that is m ore refined, em otional,
and intellectual.
If w e consider the folktale once m ore as a meditation on anx
iety and m odes o f handling anxiety, w e notice that from the
very beginning the narrative is burdened by the threat o f the
nixie— a relationship to the feminine, and therefore to sexual
ity. that confronts us w ith nature in the raw. engulfs us. fills us
w ith longing, and pulls us away from reality. At first, anxiety
can only be fended o ff by avoiding the danger; later, the devel
opment o f facets o f the personality not immediately related to
the danger allow one to cope. As long as the nixie is only a fan
tasy. she poses n o immediate threat. But in the moment that the
relationship between man and woman becomes real, the threat
o f the nixie also becomes real. In the beginning only the man
suffered the anxiety, but soon the woman, w ho was deprived o f
relationship altogether, had to bear it. By developing her nixie
nature, she pulled the man away from his absorption with nix
ies. After many long years in solitude, longing and grief, the
two at last find a relationship that can succeed. Gone is the fear
o f the nixie and the longing that dislodges the self.
Here, w e have viewed the folktale as illustrating a relation
ship in w hich the w om an, through her ow n inner develop
m ent, helps the man out o f his impasse. How ever, I do not
mean to suggest that the man should be let o ff the hook. He,
too, must develop him self (by "tending sheep”) independently
o f the woman. Naturally, one could also interpret the w ife’s
process in terms o f the hunter's “anim a-ego.”
Getting Through Symbiosis
■ Introduction
In symbiosis, one person m erges so completely with another

person, group, country, or other entity, that any distinction
between the tw o seem s unreal. Those w ho are caught up in
such a sym biotic relationship have the feeling that they are
being cared for. protected, and relieved o f the torture o f eternal
decision. Yet this is hardly a calm shelter, for to keep it intact
requires continuous, anxious attention. Those w ho arc in a
sym biotic knot intensely fear that their “ relationship” will
break apart. “Relationship” is not really the right word for this
attachment, fora real relationship requires two distinct individ
uals. On the contrary, someone involved in a sym biotic part
nership does not dare exist as an individual. Fear o f isolation
and separation is the very stuff o f which the symbiotic bond is
composed.
“Symbiosis" is a term taken from biology that refers to a nar
row, functional relationship between two organisms that is o f
mutual benefit to both. The sym bolically bound partner bene
fits from the knowledge that he is taken care of, protected in his
helplessness, relieved o f the pressure to make decisions and
take risks. The "h o st" benefits from an enormous increase in
self-importance, a narcissistic "bo ost" provided by the sy m b
olically attached partner. The essence o f the relationship is not
so much a matter o f dependency as o f not being separate, for
the one w ho is sym bolically attached can just as well be the
dominant one. Neither host nor partner can distinguish self
from other, or establish which are his wishes and which are the
other’s, or differentiate his own ego from the other’s.
W hat is the experience o f symbiosis like? A twreniy-five-year-

old wom an sums it up it quite succinctly when she describes
her relationship to a girlfriend ten years older than she: “I no
longer know whether it is I w ho think something o r sh e .! buy
the same clothes that she does. I know they d on’t really look
good on m e. but whenever I go shopping. I just can’t get inter
ested in anything else. I even changed m y area o f studies to
co in cid e w ith hers, and now it really upsets m e that I d on't
know whether or not I really am interested in the subject. W hen
I am not with her. I feel completely lost. The slightest demand
on m e makes m e feel like 1 am falling into a thousand pieces.
W hen 1 am w ith her I feel confident again. She knows this, and
so she can boss m e around as m uch as she wants and I will put
up with it. I can't stand being alone, and I can't stand being with
her, not to m ention the fact that she doesn't really want to be
with me anyway.”
This relationship is so sym biotic that its distressing aspects
have completely eclipsed its positive ones. The young woman
can no longer enjoy the feeling o f being taken care o f and the
sense o f om nipotence that com e from m erging because she
has squarely faced the need for separation, which is why she
sought a therapist. Nevertheless, she says that she feels co n fi
dent w hen she is w ith her friend, and she feels she is falling
apart w hen she is not w ith her. Thus we see how sym biosis
helps to offset the threat o f fragmentation. N otice, too, how
much the young w om an’s ego flows into her friend’s. Such dis
solving o f borders is frightening, but at least she can still
observe and describe it.
A thirty-year-old man describes a very different kind o f sym
biotic relationship: “In the spring, when I lie dowrn on the for
est floor, 1 can feel all o f nature pulsing through me. And when
I am able to sense what is going on inside me, I feel surprising
energies arise within. I am no longer myself; I am all o f nature.
I am the power o f creation, everywhere and full o f strength.
87 ■ G E T T I N G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
T h e sun sh ines through m e. T h e sm ell o f the earth and th e for

est flo o r b lo w s th ro u g h m e. 1 co u ld scream w ith d elig h t and
desire. M y skin is to o tight around m y body; m y spirit needs to
stretch o u t and m elt w ith m y su rroun dings. It is a w on d erfu l
feelin g . N oth ing in m y life is as intense as this. Sex is stale by
com parison. W h y ca n 't it always b e spring?*’
T h is type o f sy m b io sis e m p o w ers, th o u g h o n ly fo r a m o
m ent. T h e young m an in qu estion entered therapy com plaining
o f states o f exh austion that he "c o u ld n ’t ex p la in .” In fact, his
sy m b io sis w ith n a tu re had im p riso n ed h im . H e co u ld n o t
escape it to return to norm al hum an life, to be w ith oth er peo
ple. He only w anted to m erge w ith nature, especially w ith the
resu rg en ce o f sp ring , and w h en he could n o t, he w ou ld sink
into apathy.
Finally, let us turn to the sy m biotic dream o f a tw en ty-three-
year-old m an. a student w h o ch ang es h is area o f studies every
sem ester. He experienced the dream as o n e o f the m ost frig h t
ening and illu m inating he had ever had.
t am walking along University Street with some student friends.
They are talking about a lecture, and I am trying very hard to
understand what they are saying, but I can’t. Max. a friend o f
mine, asks me w hy I am moving so slowly. I was not aware that
I was moving mote slowly than the others. Max stops and tells
everyone. ’Take a look at Freddy and bis fatlier: a real chip o ff
the old block." Suddenly 1feel m y back caught on something—
it has become fused w ith someone else s back. It’s a warm feel
ing. but it certainly restricts my movement. I am terribly embar
rassed that all o f my friends can see me like this, but I cannot tear
myself away; the connection is too strong. My friends huddle
up to decide whom to ask to do the operation. They think it is
absolutely necessary to separate us.
T h e dream speaks for itself. Fused w ith his father’s back, his
o w n back is stre n g th e n e d , bu t at th e co st o f h is fle x ib ility .
W h e n his friends see this and d ecid e that separation is n e ces
sary, the dream er is greatly em barrassed. T h e d ream er h im self
Is passive exccpjt for his slowly dawning awareness o f the situa

tion. Yet something within him— the “friends”— knows that a
separation is called for.
The problem o f symbiosis has been a classic issue in psychol
ogy. Jung wrote about participation mystique,11a concept adopted
from the writings o f the anthropologist Levy-Bruhl.
What he meant by it [participation mystique] is simply the
indefinitely large remnant of non-differentiation between sub
ject and object, which is still so great among primitives that it
cannot fail to strike our European consciousness very forcibly.
When there is no consciousness of the difference between sub
ject and object. an unconscious identity prevails.... Then plants
and animals behave like human beings.... Civilized man natu
rally thinks he is miles above these things. Instead o f that, he is
often identified with his parents throughout his life, or with his
affects and prejudices, and shamelessly accuses others o f the
things he will not sec in himself. (Jung. C W 13. par. 66).
Jung considered the dissolution o f this mystical participa

tion to be a great therapeutic achievement (ib id ). He went on to
say that the dissolution o f participation mystique, o f the identity o f
subject and object (or o f sym biosis), comes about by means o f
individuation, a process which is seldom, i f ever, finished. Individ
uation is understood here as “a process o f differentiation (q .v .),
having for its goal the development o f the individual personal
ity Mw
Thus the way out o f symbiosis, according to Jung, is found
by “becoming conscious" o f one’s ow n identity, a process that
is extended over one’s entire lifetime. I prefer to speak o f “sym
biosis" rather than participation mystique or “identity o f subject and
ob ject” because I think that it m ore clearly suggests a form o f
unconsciousness that takes place and causes difficulties within
relationships. In short, I see symbiosis as a type of relationship.
“Symbiosis and individuation” also refers to research co n
ducted by Margaret S. Mahler and her coworkers. Mahler often
described a phase o f “normal sym biosis,” beginning approxi-
89 ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
maiely w ith the in fant's second m onth o f lif e , in w hich the

infant behaves as i f it and its m other "w ere an omnipotent sys
tem— a dual unity within a com m on boundary."" The symbi
otic phase is followed by the phase o f separation, during which
a rapprochement between infant and m other also takes place. In
my view, the life-rhythm Mahler was describing does not apply
only to infants. Throughout the life span, phases in w hich the
individual seeks symbiosis are invariably followed by phases o f
separation and individuation. Here, "separation" means emerg
ing from a relationship characterized by fusion, and "individu
ation" indicates attitudes that have been acquired and that por
tray the individual characteristics that have been ad op ted ."
W ithin the phase o f separation, a phase o f rapprochement often
takes place, as i f to reassure one that there is always a way back.
After this, there arises once again a need for symbiosis, this time
at another level. This need should be heeded, for an optimal
symbiosis is the prerequisite for separation and individuation—
in the life o f the infant as well as throughout the life span.
Though optimal symbiosis is not my theme here, it is, in a
sense, a part o f my theme. For "ways out o f symbiosis" arc eas
ier to find if one's symbiotic needs have been met and reflected
upon. Beginning with the small child, it is obvious that optimal
sym biosis is a prerequisite for optim al separation and indi
viduation. It w ould also be easy to m isunderstand my title,
"getting through symbiosis,” as implying that symbiosis must
be overcome at any price. This is o f course not true, The very
reason I want to speak o f "w ay s” out o f sym biosis is that so
often one finds no “way.” Sometimes one "sits around" in sym-
biosis. At other tim es, a phase o f sym biosis simply lasts too
long, or is not allowed to evolve into a phase o f separation. This
is the locus o f many psychic difficulties we deal w ith in the
practice o f psychotherapy: developmental inhibitions, identity
confusions. lack o f creativity, depression, suicidal tendencies,
I addiction. In extrem e cases o f regressive sym biosis, a person
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY > 90
may w ish to return to the w om b or simply to die— wishes

that may be expressed in suicidal tendencies o r psychoso
matic problems.
Symbiosis and death have m uch in com m on. Our collective
images o f the next world are colored by our sym biotic needs.
This is evident in the idea o f paradise, for exam ple, o r such
expressions as “entering into eternal b liss." “being absorbed
into a greater wholeness,” “resting in peace," or "reclining in
the arms o f G od.” Granting the uniqueness o f each person or
religion's conception, w e must admit that there is a general ten-
dency toward symbiosis in our fantasies about what comes after
death, at w hich tim e our individual existences as we have
known them on earth will cease. Some fear this, others long for
it, and still others create fantasies in w hich the individual's
uniqueness, indeed his or her isolation, is not completely abol-
ished after all. Death and symbiosis are also related in that sym
biosis always attempts to prevent changes in life. Fear o f change
and anxiety about having to move on and take o n e's leave—
ultimately, fear o f our mortality— prompt us to seek something
as solid as bedrock. Often, we fall into the trap o f seeking some
thing much too solid— namely, symbiosis.
In every case o f protracted sym biosis, one can ask, what
development is being postponed here? Symbiosis may prevent
us from facing up to life, w hich demands that w e be reborn
again and again, that w e risk doing som ething new , that we
never cease making new decisions in order to discover w ho we
really are.
In the pages that follow, I will use folktales to describe partic
ularly lethal aspects o f symbiosis. I see the need for symbiosis,
the danger o f persisting too long in symbiosis, and the need to
separate and individuate, as typical human issues, and I believe
that folktales provide us with examples o f ways to resolve them.
As I was searching for folktales that describe ways out o f
sym biosis, I was struck by how m any tales depict "h ero es”
9! ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S YM B IO SIS
whose sym biotic needs hold them back. A Finnish folktale

called "The W ife "17is one example.
T H E W IF E
Once there was a man and a woman w ho lived together in peace

and harmony and w ho were as fond o f each other as it is possi
ble to be. One day the man said to his w ife. “W hen I die. you
will surely And another m an.”
“And you will surely find another woman. “ the wife replied.
“You will not stay single forever. '*
But neither the man nor the woman believed the other, and
so they decided to make a pact that neither one would remarry
should the other die.
As it happened, not long after that, the w om an died. At first
the man lived w ithout a w om an because he had n o desire to
marry again. But after som e time lu d passed lie thought. “W hy
should I go on m ourning like th is’ I’m going to get m arried
ag ain." And indeed, he soon found h im self another w om an.
Just as he was about to go and meet the bride, w ho was waiting
for him by the church, he had an idea. *’I shall visit m y w ife, bid
her farew ell, and ask the dead w om an to forg ive m e ." he
thought. And so he w ent to her grave, knelt dow n, and said.
"Forgive m e! 1 am going to a w edding.! am marrying again."
At this, the grave opened up and his w ife’s spirit called out to
him . “C om e. co m e. D o n 't be afraid, co m e h e re ," she said,
beckoning him . "D o n ’t you rem em ber what w e promised each
other? That w hoever survives w ouldn’t get m arried again?"
T hen she talked him in to clim b in g in to the grave w ith her.
"W ill you have som e w ine?” she asked him as they w ere both
sitting in the co ffin , offering him a glass. After d rinking, lie
wanted to leave, but she begged him . saying, "Stay here a little
while. Let us have a good talk!" Then she poured him a second
glass o f w ine and he drank again. After this, he stood up to go
again, but she insisted he stay and talk longer. "D o not go y et,"
she implored. And so the husband lingered on.
M eanw hile, the pastor was holding a prayer service at the
church, for it was assumed that the m an had fallen to tus death.
The bride-to-be. having waited and waited, finally returned to
the hom e o f her parents.
After the men’s wife gave him a third glass o f wine, she
finally allowed him to leave the grave. “ Go now!" she said. So
the man left. When lie arrived at the church, the pastor was no
longer there. All the wedding preparations had been taken
away, and he himself had grown as gray as an old hoopoe. He
had been in the grave for thirty years.
The folktale describes a couple w ho live together in peace and

harmony. They love each other so much that their only prob
lem is that this paradise cannot last forever. The m essage is
clear: things should be kept the way they are— so nice and free
o f aggression. Even death— the change o f life— should not be
allowed to interrupt.
T o my m ind, the initial situation in this tale depicts a typical
symbiotic scenario: nothing should change, the aggression that
could create distance (and thus change) seems to be perfectly
elim inated , com ing to expression only in their fantasies o f
death. And then the woman really does die. The sym biosis is
broken by a higher power: the couple has no choice but to sep*
arate. The man grieves as befits a separation— especially a sepa
ration from what was apparently such a paradise— but after a
w hile, he desires to be w ith another w om an. This desire
expresses the possibility that life can go on. i f changes are ac
cepted. The woman w ho has died could represent a real woman
or an essential aspect o f life that, for some reason, has faded out
or died. In the tale, the husband portrays one way out o f sym
biosis: bereft o f his object o f symbiotic desire, he mourns, but
after a certain amount o f lim e has passed, he turns his attention
to something new.
But w hen the tim e com es for him to marry this new
wom an— w hen the bond to the new phase in life really gets
serious— he wants to say goodbye again to his old wife and beg
her forgiveness. Naturally, he leaves his new wife “standing in
the rain" at the threshold o f the church. Now his symbiotic rela-
Uonship returns as strong as ever to suck him back in. The fact
that he must beg his old w ife's forgiveness shows that he feels
guilty toward her; he is not yet ready to do what he wants to do.
His wife may be dead, but she is not inactive! Her grave opens
up, she summons him in to remind him o f their promise . . .
and the old symbiosis is alive and well again. Despite the m an’s
attempts to get out o f the pit, she holds on to him until it is too
late. The wine and conversation have sent him into relapse!
The pull exerted by the old situation is tremendously strong.
It is com m on wisdom in myths and folktales that one should
never accept food or drink from the dead unless one wants to go
and live with them. The most famous example o f this is Perse
phone. w ho is stolen from her m other. Demeter, by Hades, god
o f the underworld. After Dem eter petitions them , the gods
decide that Persephone can return as long as she did not eat any
thing w hile she was among the dead. But since she has eaten
the seed o f a pomegranate, she has to spend half o f the year in
the underworld.
In the Persephone m yth, as in our folktale, the dead appear to
seek the company o f the living. Perhaps this portrays the fantas
tic pull o f intense regression. Here, the bridegroom takes the
wine offered to him . W ine is the traditional drink o f the gods.
In the cull o f Dionysus, w ine was thought to grant immortality
and thus symbolized the power o f the spirit to overcome all that
is earthly. But o f course, transcending earthliness can simply
mean one ignores reality. By the same token, the man’s conver
sation w ith his w ife was intim ate, confidential, and probably
inspiring. Nonetheless, none o f it got out o f the grave. In this, it
resem bles the sort o f extended dialogues som e people hold
w ith partners w ho died long ago. and are long gone as far as
everyone else is concerned. Erich Fromm probably would have
used his term "necrophiliac”" to describe such a love for the
dead, which prevents the lover from attending to his living rela
tionships. The problem is not the relationship to the dead, but the
nature o f that relationship. After all, though w e do have to son

out our relationships w ith those w ho have died, w e need to
attend to other relationships as well. In general, it is w ise to
avoid any and all cults that would exclude us from life.
The married couple in this tale stay together even unto the
grave ("till death do us not p art"); by remaining faithful to his
w ife, the surviving partner is cut o f f from life. His relatives
declare him dead.
One often finds a situation like this among partners and rela
tives o f persons w ho have committed suicide. They draw out to
great lengths their concern with the "unnecessary death" and
are always looking for someone to blame (whom they naturally
find). All they can do is think about their dear departed ones and
all that they wilt miss about them. Lost to the world outside the
grave, they arc incapable o f viewing their feelings o f guilt from
any oilier perspective than a literal one. For example, they can
not entertain the thought that perhaps guilt is necessary and
unavoidable, serving to keep us bound to each other to some
extent. The grave is often described as a kind o f m other. W e
speak o f som eone returning to "th e w om b o f d eath " o r to
"m other earth," as i f to imply that a transformation takes place
in the grave. But in our folktale, such a transformation cannot
take place. The dead cannot "bury the dead" and what is over is
not really done w ith. Instead, the husband gets com fortable
with the past and has an intimate conversation with a significant
bygone. He lacks aggression— not o f a destructive sort, but an
iggresston w ould give him the verve to act decisively. For
decades, he just sits there in the grave.
In other words, he never really lived his life. It s a complaint
psychotherapists often hear, especially w hen there is a question
o f a symbiosis: "1 never really lived my life; I always did what
everyone else wanted m e to do___ "
In this folktale, we have a man w ho lives as i f he had already
died. Instead o f excusing him self and departing from his w ife in
a way that m igh t border on abandonm ent, he destroys his

entire life. W e have all heard o f people w hose lives resemble
this folktale— those w ho , out o f a sense o f "fid elity” to (heir
deceased partner, refuse to rem arry. O r those w ho are very
deliberate about rem arrying and yet insist that their new
spouses do everything exactly as their old spouses did. and who
keep the old portraits hanging on the w all. . .
But I think that this story can m irror other sorts o f symbiotic
clinging as w ell: to persons, groups, and objects, even when
these are already “dead” or when the repressed aggression that
could have broken the sym biotic attachment instead "killed ”
the object o f symbiosis. Staying in sym biosis naturally offers
protection— after all, w ho would have thought o f looking for
the man in his dead w ife's grave. He was left in peace—
buried alive.
“The W ife ” illustrates several key aspects o f the ph e
nomenon o f symbiosis:
•Prohibitions against change that are instituted in the symbi
otic system extend even beyond the bounds o f life. There is an
overemphasis on what is shared, an avoidance o f what divides.
•Aggression is split o ff or absent.
•Aggression that is split o ff (but may reappear in fantasies o f
murder) may cause the symbiosis to collapse.
• There is evidence o f the beginning o f a process o f working
through the loss: mourning, accepting the new situation, car
ing for what is new.
• The old sym biotic tendencies reawaken, one is reattached
to the “dead” partner, the sym biotic system is reestablished,
though not with the same intensity as before. Old and new are
mixed together, resulting in a withdrawal from all social con
tacts and present concerns for an extended period. Rather than
removing oneself from the symbiosis, one destroys oneself.
O f course, in actual life symbiotic tendencies may not have
such dramatic effects as they do in this folktale. However. I still
N
think the tale accurately illustrates a typical and unmistakable
dynamic o f all such relationships. As I have said, the alternation
o f symbiosis and individuation comprises a rhythm in every
one’s life. No one is simply "sym biotic." In all o f our lives, cer
tain spheres are characterized by sym biotic tendencies; these
tendencies arc perhaps the strongest in those areas in w hich we
feel most helpless. Or perhaps it is better to say that we are most
helpless in those areas in which we find ourselves in symbiotic
attachments. Then again, these areas present us with som e o f
our greatest opportunities for individuation as well.
W e seem to dwell somewhere between our need for symbio
sis and our striving for separation and individuation. Let us not
forget, however, that individuation out o f symbiosis is never
easy, and involves not only feelings o f separation but o f aban
donment. Such painful feelings may dog us from earliest child
hood on, never vanishing completely no matter how proud we
are o f our steps toward independence.
Such feelings o f separation and abandonm ent can push us
back into symbiosis or, as Fromm strongly advocated, they can
be suspended through love. The movement out o f symbiosis
toward greater individuation, which happens many lim es in
life, becom es ever m ore integral with the addition o f the
dim ension o f relatedness and love. "In contrast to sym biotic
union, mature love is a unity under the condition that on e's
integrity and independence are maintained, and thus also one's
own identity."”
"M ature" love is not something one can seek and find, but
som ething that the personality must grow into and develop
toward. Yet it is clear that the love Fromm called for— this relat
edness between two persons who arc striving to develop their
own individual identities— only becomes possible when one
can recognize and suffer through one's sym biotic tendencies
on the one hand and one's urge for individuation on the other.
Mahler and her coworkers repeatedly emphasize that the dis
cover)' o f identity depends o n b o th op tim al sym biosis and op ti ♦

m al separation and individuation. Blanck and Blanck are o f the
view that p ro b le m s e n co u n te re d in th e first p h ase c a n . to a
d egree, be co rrected in later phases.2®
T o F ro m m ’s concept o f love I w ould add the idea o f related
ness. for I d o n o t think the tw o are identical. I believe that w e
can learn relatedness, and even dem and it o f each oth er. Love,
b y co n tra st, ca n n o t b e d em an d ed , fo r it involv es an e lem e n t
beyond the grasp o f the w ill. Relatedness m eans w e resist seeing
others as m irrors o f ourselves and attem pt to understand them
as u n ique personalities, w ith th eir ow*n fears and w ish es, inter
ests and en erg ies, w hich w e react to and contend w ith. Related
ness should increase the chances that tw o peop le can arrive at a
shared p o in t o f view that each can affirm w ith ou t forfeitin g his
o r he r identity.
But beyond relatedness. it is lov e, w h ich can n o t b e m anu fac
tured, that takes hold o f us. leads us beyond ou rselves, and ends
o u r previous isolation . T h is sensation can also b e exp erienced
in sexuality, w h ich elegantly expresses the rhythm s o f m erging
and returning to autonom ou s individuality.
T o co nclu d e these introdu ctory rem arks. ( w ould lik e to c o n
sider b rie fly various situations in w h ich sy m b io tic tend encies
are likely to arise. O r perhaps it w ould be m ore to the point to
talk a b o u t situ a tio n s w h e re su ch te n d e n cie s are not apt to
arise. As w e have said , sy m b io tic tend encies arc “ n o rm a l" for
in fa n ts. H ere it is u sually th e m o th e r w h o sy m b io tica lly
m e rg e s w ith th e sm all ch ild . T h is o rig in a l s y m b io s is can
broad en o u t in the cou rse o f life to include o n e 's fam ily, p er
so n s w h o se view s are sim ila r to o n e 's o w n . o n e ’s h o m elan d ,
ra c e , re lig io u s c o m m u n ity , and so o n . T h is is n o t to say all
such relationships are necessarily sy m biotic; they may be sy m bi
o t ic , in sp irin g a fie r c e in n e r lo y alty and cau sin g o n e to lose
o n e ’s c ritic a l ca p a citie s and b e c o m e h o stile tow ard (h o se
w h o are different.
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY ■ 98
W e can symbiolically'merge with anything that promises us

a degree o f protection and prompts us to surrender our inde
pendence. Thus it is only natural that we would tend to merge
sym biotically w ith our partners. For years it was maintained
that women were too symbiotically attached to their mothers to
achieve the independence required to form new kinds o f part
nership. Here the sym biotic bond to the personal m other is
seen as the defining characteristic o f w om en in general.
Therapists would do w ell to acknow ledge that sym biotic
m erging takes place in m any therapeutic relationships—
indeed, that it needs to take place i f the client is to find the shel
ter and safety that is the prerequisite for separation and individ
uation. But w e must also be cautious not to feed this symbiotic
merging with our own reluctance to let go o f our clients as they
move toward greater autonom y, o r to give up a relationship
that boosts our narcissistic sense o f our ow n importance. The
client's bid for symbiosis calls for a decision o n the pan o f the
analyst; depending on the situation, the latter may even choose
to fight against the analysand’s attempt to draw him or her in.
After all, “ways out o f sym biosis'* include ways out o f the
healthy symbiosis in therapy as well as ways out o f dangerous
therapeutic situations.
Mystics through the ages have discovered a m ost unique
form o f sym biosis— one w hich involves m erging w ith the
Divine. However, this longing for fusion w ith God— w hich
they invariably describe as a longing for death— has not kept
m ost m ystics from doing their work am ong people— for the
sake o f God, naturally. Teresa o f Avila was exemplary in this
regard. She described a mystical experience as follows:
W hile ( was reciting it [the hymn. Voii. Orator], there came to
me a transport so sudden that it almost carried me away: 1could
make no mistake about this, so clear was it. This was the first
time that the Lord had granted me the favour of any kind of rap
ture. I heard these words: “ 1w ill have thee converse now, not
with men. but with angels." This simply anuzed me. for my
soul was greatly moved and the words were spoken to me in the
depths of the spirit. For this reason they nude me afraid..
This experience, w hich could be characterized as one o f

merging with a celestial being, did not stop Teresa from work
ing hard on earth. Indeed. I don't think we could accuse Teresa
o f being merely symbiotic and not individuated. Perhaps true
mystics live out their symbioses in a way that does not interfere
with their process o f individuation. Perhaps they have found
the optimal way to be symbiotic.
All in all, then, we must say that symbiosis is neither good
nor bad in itself. In certain situations, it is extremely important
for individuals to be cared for symbiotically, so that new ener
gies can be brought to life in them. But just as often, symbiosis
can cause an individual to withdraw into total estrangement
from life. It may mark the onset o f sterility and. by preoccupy
ing us with death and the past, obstruct the onward flow o f life.
I have attempted to describe the natural rhythm between sym
biosis and individuation, and suggested that ou r effo rts be
directed at maintaining this rhythm in such a way that each new
phase is characterized by increasing differentiation. Through
such a process, we acquire a greater sense o f personal identity
and begin to experience our separateness as an opportunity for
a true alliance based on relatedness and love.
Still, all along life’s path, we encounter situations in which
we must escape or abandon symbiotic bonds. In the following
pages, we will examine such situations: ways out o f symbiosis
that are also ways to separation.
■ Jo u rn e y to th e U n d e rw o rld
through th e Hellish W h irlp o o l o f Fafa
C O N T E N D IN G W IT H TH E
D E V O U R IN G PR IM A L G R O U N D
Lauango and h is w ife , w hose nam e w as also Lauango, had three

so n s— F aalataitafu a. F aalataitau an a, F aalataitim ea— and a
d au g hter, Sina. O n e day th e tw o o ld er b ro th ers w en t fish in g .
Faalataitim ea. the you ngest, stayed h o m e, and w as entrusted to
care for his sister. A fter h e m ade d in n er fo r h e r, she lay d ow n
and fell asleep. Som etim e later, sh e aw oke w ith the realization
that so m e o n e had cau sed h e r a te rrib le d isg ra ce, ju s t in that
m o m e n t, sh e saw h e r b ro th er goin g ou t the d oor. She ro se up
feelin g m iserable and w en t ou t o n to the b each . T h ere sh e sat
d o w n and w a ited fo r h e r tw o o ld e r b ro th e rs to retu rn fro m
th eir fishing expedition.
Q u ite so m e tim e passed b e fo re th e bo at ap p roach ed th e
shore. " I think I see Sina sittin g there o n the b e a c h /' said Sina s
eldest b ro th er to h is partners. " I w on d er w hy she is just sitting
there in the harsh sunlight. W e had better ro w q u ick ly ." W h en
the brothers got closer to land they raised th eir voices, "Y es, it
rea lly is S in a !" W h e n it w as tim e fo r th e fish to b e un load ed
o n to the sh ore, Sina asked her oldest b roth er to excu se her from
h e lp in g o u t; sh e w an ted to g o o u t to sea ag ain w ith
Faalataitauana in ord er to catch so m e o n e-ey ed tunafish.
And that is w hat hap p ened . T h e tw o g o t in to th e boat and
ro w e d aw ay. W h e n th ey w e re far o u t at se a . Faalataitauana
b e gan to w o n d e r w h a t Sin a rea lly h ad in m in d . " D o n 't y ou
want to fish? T h e re ’s p lenty o f fish h e r e ." h e said. "O h n o ." Sina
101 • G E T T I N G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
said. " W e belter keep ro w in g . It's to o sunny h ere. That*s p ro b

ably w hy you d id n 't catch any good fish before.*1
A fter th ey had ro w e d ev e n fa rth er o u t to se a , h e r b ro th e r
again said, “Sin a, there are su ch beautiful fish here! Let us fish**'
And o n ce ag ain , sh e answ ered , “ N o , n o , keep o n rowing!**
And o n and o n they w ent until they reached th e entrance to the
un d erw orld , w h ere ru shing w aters p lun ge in a m ig h ty racket
in to th e hellish w h irlp o ol o f Fafa.
“ B efo re I d ie .'* cried Faalataitauana to Sin a ov er th e d in , “ I
w ant to kno w w h y w e are bo th abou t to plunge to o u r deaths. ’*
“Y e s,” sighed Sin a, “And I w ant to tell you. It is because that
stupid little boy Faalataitim ea disgraced m e forever! ’*
“W hat did h e d o to y ou ?” asked her brother. “T ell m e and I
w ill kill th e m iserable jo k e r.”
“C o m e o n n o w .” a n sw ered S in a . “w e a rc a lm o st in th e
w hirlpool. See that rock at the edge? See the tree o n it? You can
still save you rself by ju m p in g ou t o f the boat and grabbing o n to
the tree. As for m e. I’m going to go dow n into the thunderous
d epths.”
Faalataitauana did as h is sister had in stru cted him and
g rab b ed o n to th e tree. M e a n w h ile , Sin a w as seized by the
fo a m in g , g u rg lin g w h irp o o l and sw allo w ed up. T hen
Faalataitauana clim bed on to the shore and lay dow n to sleep on
the beach u n d er the cre ep ers, w h ich b elo n g ed to Sisialefafa,
a very h o n o ra b le lady. O n ce the b o y w as asleep, bird s began
singing all around.
W h en she heard this w ondrous sound, Sisialefafa w ent to the
sh ore to fin d ou t w hat w as h ap p en in g. Seein g the beau tifu l,
slum bering youth m ade her practically lose her senses for joy.
" I'm going to scare him to find out if he is a hum an being or an
evil g h o st," she thought, and cried ou t, “ Hey th ere!”
The noise startled Faalataitauana. “W h at’s going on here?” he
said as he got up. "W h y did you startle m e like that?" "A h ” said
Sisialefafa, "s o you are a ch ief. Tell m e, w hy are you sleeping
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY ■ 102
here under th e creepers like a beggar? I have a n ice ho u se w ith

sleeping m ats, n ice headrests, and good m osq u ito n e ttin g ."
M1 saved m y s e lf fro m the o c e a n ." the you th answ ered, “and 1
had to rest o n th e sh o re ."
“ C o m e w ith m e!** said S isialefafa. and sh e led h im to h e r
h o u se. A fter sh e had g iven h im fin e clo th e s, m ats to sleep o n .
and a co m fo rta b le h e a d iest, Faalataitauana w en t to sleep som e
m o re . M e a n w h ile , sh e w e n t o u td o o rs and h eated up so m e
co o k in g ston es o n th e fireplace. T h en sh e too k tw o taro fish and
tw o hens. Sh e clean ed o n e taro but left the scales o n the o th er,
sh e p lu ck ed o n e h e n an d p u t th e o th e r in th e o v en w ith its
fea th e rs still o n . W h e n e v e ry th in g w as read y , sh e put th e
u n p lu ck cd h e n and th e u n clean ed ta ro o n a ban ana le a f and
served it to Faalataitauana.
“D ear w o m a n .” h e said w h en h e w ok e up , "w o u ld you b e so
kind as to take (h is food aw ay? N o o n e eats th is so rt o f th in g
w here 1 co m e from . W c scrape the scales ofT o u r taro and pluck
our h e n s."
" O h . please forgive m e ," said Sisialefafa, " m y peop le have
m ade a m is ta k e ." And so sh e too k aw ay th e first m eal and
cam e back carry in g the n icely prepared h en and the taro that
had been cleaned.
N ow they b o th sat d ow n to eat. " S o , w hat is y ou r n a m e?"
Faalataitauana asked w h en they w ere finished.
" I am Sisialefafa!” she replied. T hen he told her h is nam e,
too. SisialefafA’s hair hung d ow n to the ground , for it had never
been cut. And Faalaiaitauana said, "H o ld your hair in a bu nch . I
w ant to cut it o f f l" She did as he said, and after it was cut they
w ent bath in g in the ocean. Then they w ent back to the house,
w h e re th ey lived hap pily to g e th e r fo r so m e lim e. Sisialefafa
b o re him on e child and then another.
O n e day Faalataitauana began to pine for his sister. " I w ant to
know w here I can find m y sister S in a ," he told his w ife. "Sh e
w as sw allow ed by the Fafa-w h irlp o ol."
But Sisialefafa suspected her husband had different motives.

In her jealousy, she said. "O h . so you want to have an affair
with Ilalegagana?"— referring to an elegant lady who lived near
the hellish w hirlpool and was secretly in love w ith
Faalataitauana. Sisialefafa knew that Ilalegagana had powerful
love magic, which she had found no antidote for. And so, see-
1 ing that her husband was determined to find his sister, she
I made him an apron o f good titi grass and gave him a splendid
' necklace o f red pandanus fruits. "Put on this apron and neck
lace." she said. "They will protect you and my love against Ilale
gagana. " Then she instructed him about her rival's love magic,
telling him about the little shells w hich Ilalegagana had named
i after Faalataitauana and his brothers.
| And so Faalataitauana w ent to the w hirlpool. As he ap
proached , he saw a group o f young girls standing around. "M y.
look at the beautiful ch ief coming over h ere." they whispered
to each other. Could Faalataitauana. the one w hom our lady is
always thinking of, be as beautiful as he?" But Faalataitauana
1 paid no attention to their gossip. All he cared about was getting
his sister back again. But to get to her he had to go through Ilale
gagana. First he had to destroy her love magic. So he went in her
house, grabbed one o f the enchanted shells that she had hidden
behind her back, and broke it into pieces. Ilalegagana cried, and
uttered a protest:
| "My little shell is broken and gone,
the little shell that I called Faalataitafua;
I carried it hidden behind my back,
He is Lauango’s oldest son."
Then he grabbed the second shell, w hich Ilalegagana kept
betw een her eyes, and broke it, too. Again she cried and
protested:
"M y little shell is broken and gone,
the little shell that I called Faalataitauana,
Like Lauango’s second son, who is always on my mind,
I always kept it where I could see it.”

Now Faalataitauana grabbed a shell that was lying on Hale-
gagna’s lap and broke it. And yet a third time Ilalegagana cried
and uttered her protest:
“My little shell is broken and gone;
the little shell that I called Faalataitimea,
Like Lauango’s third son. the idle little boy.
1 had it hidden here on my lap."
Faalataitauana threw* the pieces down at her feet. "How could
you give my name to such a lousy little shell?” he demanded.
Though Ilalegagana herself was silent, the people in her house
would not endure this insult to their lady, and so put up a terri
ble ruckus. But Ilalegagana wanted reconciliation, and so told
her servants. "G o and get all the beautiful things that you have
made ready for my love; the pig, taro, yams, hens, coconuts,
sugar cane, and the slaves.”
W hen all these had been delivered to Faalataitauana, he
turned to the servants and said, "M y people, why are you bring
ing me all these things? W hat should I do with them? It would
be better i f you divided them among yourselves! ” So half o f the
gifts wrere given to those w ho w ere present and Faalataitauana
took the other half.
The love m agic o f Ilalegagana proved to be strong; Faala
taitauana forgot his Sisialefafa and ate with Ilalegagana, w ho be
came his wife. W hen they wrere finished eating, the young man
said, "N ow I would like to have a look at Vaiola, your fountain
o f the water o f life! ”
"But w ho told you about the fountain?” asked Ilalegagana.
"W h o has instructed you in this m atter?" Suspecting that it was
Sisialefafa, she ordered her people to go and capture her and
have her baked in the oven. They soon returned with Sisialefafa
and her two children. Sisialefafa knew what was about to hap
pen and lamented:
105 • G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
“Calm and soothe yourselves, please,

soothe and calm yourselves, please.
Let m e tell you how it all came to pass,
how Faalauitauana appeared
slumbering on the strand,
under the creepers,
and about the song o f birds.
And how I went to the shore to see
i f he were a human or a ghost.
How I stood there.
while, swimming, he saved him self
from the foaming sea.
About the children 1 bore him.
Tauana, com e forth to me.
To you I give my children,
even while I am burned.”
Even Ilalegagana was moved by this lament. “Let Sisialefafa

and the children liv e !” she proclaim ed. They should return
in com fort to their h o m e.” Still, she kept Faalataitauana for
herself.
One day Ilalegagana said to her husband: “You wanted to see
Sina again? G o now and find the place w here the o ld . blind
Matamolali lives. Break o f f a coconut lea f and touch her eyes
w ith it.” So Faalataitauana w ent ou t and did as he was in
structed. W hen he touched the old w om an's eyes. Matamolali
called out. “O h. w ho is touching m y eyes?" And in that m o
m ent. her sight returned. In exchange. Faalataitauana asked for
a favor: to be led to the entrance o f Vaiola. the spring o f life. Ma
tamolali agreed and went with him to open the way.
After a while, they cam e to a broad river, where they saw fig
ures w ith arched backs floating on the wrave$. Next cam e people
w ith rotten lim bs, swollen arms, and Moated legs, then people
w ho had lost their eyesight; and finally the bodies o f healthy
men in fine shape.
Bui Faalataltauana did not see Sina anyw here, so Matam olali
w ent (o the o n e w h o had guided Sina in to the underw orld and
asked w hat Sina had looked like. “W h en she sank w ith the b o at.”
her guide replied, “she w as w earing n o thing but a necklace o f
red pandanus fru its.” As he said this, a parade o f virgins w as car
ried ov er the w aters, the last o f w hich was Sina. "D e a r,” Mata-
m olali called out to the girl, “please bring m e your necklace! ”
" H e r e ,” w hispered Sina, holding the necklace out.
“Bring it to m e! ” said the old w om an.
"O h , forgive m e ," replied the girl, turning to go. “I have to
go n o w ; the others are w aiting for m e .”
“Bring it here right this m in u te,” the old w om an dem anded,
“o r else I w ill lose m y patience and shut dow n the springs. And
then there w ill be n o m ore sw im m ing and ro m p in g ab o u t!”
And so Sina cam e tow ard h e r w ith the n eck lace, and M ata
m o la li g ra b b e d h e r by th e han d an d yan k ed h e r o u t o f th e
w aters o f death. T h en th e old w o m an to o k Sin a to V aiola. the
w aters o f life , w h ich flow ed clo se by. Sh e sm acked the girl and
d u n k ed h e r u n d e r th e w a te r, th e n sm ack ed and d u n k ed h er
o n c e again. T h en sh e asked. "W h a t is that ov er there?”
And Sina answ ered. “That is the w est.”
T h e o ld w o m a n sm acked and d unked h e r ag ain . “ W h a t is
that o v er there?” sh e asked.
“That is the east!” Sina said.
And a g a in th e o ld w o m a n sm ack ed and d u n k ed th e g irl.
“W h at is that ov er there?” sh e asked again.
“That is th e so u th !” answ ered th e girl.
O n e last tim e th e old w om an h it and dunked. “W h at is that
ov er there?”
“That is the n o rth !” Sina said. And thu s she w as brou ght back
to life.
A fterw ard. Sin a w ent w ith th e old w om an back to her h o m e,
w h e re F aalataitauana w as w a itin g in a lo ck e d -u p p art o f th e
house w h ere n o o n e could And h im . Matam olali gave the girl a
c o m b and lo ld h e r (o stra ig h ten u p h e r w ild h air. L o o k in g

closely at the co m b . Sina spoke to it w ith a soft v o ice, “B e m y
friend , you dear c o m b !"
“W h y are you so m oved by the co m b ? ” asked the o ld w o
m an. “O h , it is n o th in g ," Sin a an sw ered , “ it is ju st that this
co m b looks like the on e 1 gave to m y brother.*’
T hen the old w om an gave Sina a m arvelous w oven garm ent.
W h e n the g irl put it o n . she said in a very m elan ch o lic v o ice,
“ Be n ice to m e , dear garm ent! O h , but you look so m uch like
the garm ent I gave to m y b ro th er.” Finally the old w om an pre
sen ted th e g irl w ith a tray laid w ith m any d iffe re n t k ind s o f
food s, am on g them so m e dishes from w hich Faalataitauana had
already eaten. W h e n M atam olali noticed that the girl was now
in tears, she told Faalataitauana it w as tim e to c o m e ou t.
W h e n Faalataitauana e m erg ed , b ro th er and sister sank in to
each o th e r’s arm s and cried until th ere w ere n o m o re tears to
cry. T hey w ere so happy to have fou n d each o th e r again. Bid
ding farew ell to the good old w om an, they returned to Ilalega*
gana, w h ere they lived happily for qu ite so m e tim e.
But on e day Sina becam e hom esick. So Faalataitauana said to
her, “ It is tim e to g o back to o u r hom eland and see w hat it looks
like th ere."
W h en Ilalegagana first heard these w ords, she fell in to a dark
m ood . But then she w ent to Pipiula, her m oth er, the sun, and
called ou t, “ Pipiula, rise, rise !”
And the sun rose qu ickly. “Let the su n ’s rays reach ou t; m y
spouse longs for h o m e !”
And so the sun sent out its rays, ligh tin g the w ay h o m e for
Faalataitauana and Sina. M eanw hile, the gods punished the evil,
idle Faalataitim ea, m aking him die o f a painful disease.
This folktale” co m es from Sam oa in the South Seas, and stem s

from a cultural phase in w hich sym biosis still played a large role
in society. Our interpretation will perforce be restricted to a

description o f the tale’s most important features, and will nec
essarily om it many o f the tale's uniquely South Seas features.
After all, i f folktales do describe typical human problems— and
solutions to them— then we should be able to find in a South
Seas folktale lessons that are valid for humanity in general.
The folktale begins w ith Lauango, w ho has a w ife by the
same name. W ith this lack o f differentiation between father and
m other Lauango, the them e o f symbiosis is suggested. How
ever, rather than focusing on the parental situation, our folktale
focuses on the youngest brother’s violation o f his sister in her
sleep— an act that ’’causes her terrible disgrace.” This may
indeed be a consequence o f the parents’ symbiotic relationship:
if the parents share a single name, why shouldn’t brother also
sleep with sister? Then everything stays "all in the family.” and
the original sym biosis is not destroyed. O r so it m ight seem.
Actually, the youngest brother's act destroys the symbiosis. His
sister, w ho had been sleeping, suddenly wakes up. Suddenly,
she is aware o f what is happening: feeling violated, she exposes
herself to the scorching sunlight. W ith Sina's outraged realiza
tio n , the scene changes, the plot begins. Her waking up
launches her. and the situation, onto a path o f development.
The initial situation in this folktale might be compared with a
family in w hich the m em bers, knitted together in sym biotic
bonds, sleep a great deal— that is to say. much occurs on an un
conscious level. One day, a brother decides to satisfy his sexual
urges by means o f his sister. Perhaps he chooses her because he
knows her and is afraid o f other women. But brother-sister in
cest also often reflects a brother's feeling o f dominion over his
sister. He wants to have exclusive rights over her; he wants her to
serve only him. In our talc, the brother exaggerates his symbiotic
tendencies, thus initiating a developmental path. He has broken a
taboo whose very existence tells us how strong is the temptation
to go back to the sister rather than forward to another woman.
O f course, in this interaction, Sina herself is ignored and has

nothing to say. Thus it is surprising that immediately after it,
she becom es very active. Now she is determined to go fishing
out at sea with one o f her brothers. But this is only a pretense;
what she really wants is to sail to the underworld, “where the
rushing w aters plunge in a m ighty racket in to the hellish
whirlpool o f Fafa." Sina wants to die. It seems to her that noth-
| ing short o f this radical solution will work. She cannot live with
, her disgrace, and feels that death alone will absolve her o f it. But
| as we know, death can be understood as a grand form o f sym
biosis. W hen defeated in obtaining their original sym biotic
| goal, people with symbiotic tendencies may choose death as the
[ “next best" thing, rather than suffer through an unsatisfactory
! situation one step at a time, and thus develop out o f it.
I Sina's brother asks why the girl is steering them toward
| im m inent death— a question that saves his life. For as she
I careens into the thunderous depths, she instructs him to hold
| onto a tree on a rocky c liff beside the whirlpool. Being seized
| and pulled dow n into the sw irling depths is a vivid image o f
I symbiotic merging, in contrast to which w e have the image o f
the tree by w hich h e r brother is saved. T he tree is a sym bol
i whose many aspects all point in the direction o f life. Especially
| in tropical o r torrid regions, the tree indicates the presence o f
water, w hich is so crucial for survival. The tree is also a phallic
- symbol, which could indicate that redemption is forthcoming
through greater efforts toward autonomy. The advice to hold
on to the tree com es from his sister, and thus, rather than disap
pearing wordlessly into the w hirlpool, she insures that som e
thing in life w ill survive. But it is the brother w ho inserts the
"w h y "— this o n e small question that aborts an unconscious
symbiotic process that is careening toward death. And indeed at
this point in the tale, he becomes the locus o f development.
Before proceeding with our interpretation, we must ask our
selves i f the brother is really the brother— i.e., someone who.
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY ■ 1 10
though his sister has initiated his development, proceeds here-

after largely independent o f her? Or, should we view him as the
masculine side o f Sina. the folktale’s heroine? Alternatively, we
could view Sina as the fem inine side o f Faalataitauana. These
sorts o f questions always crop up regarding the interpretation
o f brother-sister folktales. The question is particularly pointed
in the case o f this folktale, and particularly difficult to answer,
because the tale itself is so sym biotic, w ith so many actions
m erging into others. 1 am going to propose that w e consider
Faalataitauana the hero o f the tale, but that we acknowledge the
possibility o f other viewpoints from time to time.
Once again on the them e o f sym biosis, it is important to
note that at this juncture a separation takes place between Faala
taitauana and his sister. Faalataitauana is abandoned; he loses
something— seemingly forever. Applying this situation to life,
w c arc rem inded o f a sym biotic relationship that has com e
apart, leaving on e partner to find h im self suddenly alone.
Having lived so m uch o f his life in the oth er, it is as though
part o f him has died. He may have saved his neck one m ore
tim e, but too much has been lost o f the life he once knew.Thus
d o people w ith a basically depressive psychic structure react
to separations. Having tied them selves sy m b o lically to
their partners, perhaps even making them the "bread o f their
lives,*' they suffer an intense sense o f abandonment once the
other leaves.
Faalataitauana now lies down in the creeping vines to sleep.
Here again, w e have the m otif o f sleeping— i e.. symbiosis. As
the youth lies dow n in Sisialefafa's creeping tendrils, one
knows it w ill on ly be a m atter o f m om ents before he is
em braced by Sisialefafa herself. Creeping vines suggest the
en tw ining, entangling, and engulfing aspect o f the m other
archetype, the naturely aspect that extends itself outward. At the
same tim e, there are the birds, signaling Faalataitauana s pres
ence. Thus, a celestial, spiritual domain has been activated as
Ill ■ G E T T I N G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
w ell as the earthy, vegetable d om ain o f the m o th er archetype.

T hen there is the m atter o f Sisialefafa’s n am e, w h ich suggests
w e a re still in th e re g io n o f th e h e llish w h irlp o o l, w h ich is
called Fafa. T hu s w e m ig h t say that Faalataitauana rem ain s in
the realm w here h e lost Sina. even i f he has forg otten her for the
tim e being.
Sisia lefafa n o w en sn a res h im d ecisiv ely — an d . it m u st be
said , w ith o u t m u ch re sista n ce fro m h im . H e is sp o iled w ith
pleasures and seem s to e n jo y a v eritable paradise. And yet he
d oes n o t let h im se lf b e co m e in extricab ly entangled in Sisiale
fafa’s snares: h e rejects the fo o d she has n o t cleaned properly,
i.e ., that w h ich is uncultivated and uncouth. And h e cu ts Sisiale-
fafa’s lon g h air, w h ich has never been cu t befo re— an episode
that rem ind s us o f the story o f Sam son in the H ebrew B ib le .13
Fro m that fam o u s story w e k n o w that th ere is p o w er in lo n g ,
u n cu t hair— fo r w o m e n , it is an e ro tic p o w er, w h ich adds so
m u ch to th eir p o w er o f attraction ov er m en . H air that has never
been cu t also suggests a w om an w h o lives in prim al co nd ition s
w ith ou t contact w ith hum an civilization , o r o n e w h o lives in a
still-un con sciou s reg ion o f the psyche. O n ce this lon g hair has
been cu t. b o th partners dip in to the ocean . B ath in g , w ashing,
and be in g im m ersed in life -g iv in g w aters fo rm an im p o rtan t
clu ste r o f m o tifs in th is folk tale. B ath in g su g gests a w ash in g
away o f this paradise-dw elling Adam to d e a r the w ay fo r a new
phase o f grow th.
Having understood Sisialefafa as a fem ale figure that belongs
to th e m o th er arch ety p e— part m o th er, part lov er— w e m ust
ask w hat it m eans that Faalataitauana stays w ith h er. O n a very
co ncrete level, w e could say that w e are dealing w ith so m eo ne
w h o has lost h is place o f sy m b io tic b e lo n g in g , and w h o flees
d irectly in to a n o th er sy m b io tic, seem in g ly m aternal relation
sh ip so that h e can cease w o rry in g ab o u t w h at h e is m issin g
and e n jo y in stea d w h a t is served to h im o n a silv er p latter.
But w e m ust n o t fo rg e t th at Faalataitau an a’s co lla p se in to
sy m b io sis i& not co m p le te ; h e d o es m ain tain so m e d egree o f

a u to n o m y . T h is w o m a n is p o w e r fu l, bu t sh e d o es n o t have
co m p lete m astery ov er h im .
Such a sy m biotic co n d itio n can as easily exist in o n e 's im agi
nation as in a real relationship: w e see it reflected in fantasies o f
paradise, o f being courted and taken care o f. N o tice, how ever,
that Faalataitauana d oes not m erely fantasize passively; rather,
he takes an active stance. Instead, w e m igh t call this a co m p en
sa tin g fantasy , o n e that arises in rep o n se to a m a jo r loss and
that, in m y view , stem s from the m o th er archetype.
I am rem inded o f a thirty-year-old m an w h o sought therapy
because o f his depressed m ood s. These had begu n o n the occa
sio n o f his tw in sister's m arriage. B efore then , bo th siblings had
lived tog eth er in the sam e house. (T h e b roth er had b een qu ite
spoiled .) O n the surface, the you ng m an w as glad his sister had
m arried, for he had alw ays resented the w ay sh e hovered ov er
him and treated h im like a ch ild . But o n ce sh e w as really g o n e,
his life seem ed intolerably bo rin g , and he toyed w ith the idea o f
e n d in g it. S o o n a fte r h e b e g an th era p y , a m o th e r fig u re a p
peared in h is d ream s w h o m h e n am ed M o th e r H o lle. In a
seq uen ce o f dream im ages, h e w as fed and bathed by h er. T he
u n co n scio u s sa tisfie d h is n e ed s; in d eed , h e d id en te rta in
su ch fa n ta sies. Y et I felt that it w as im p o rta n t fo r h im not
sim ply to be lulled to sleep by the m o re o r less seductive w o
m e n in h is d ream s; h e needed to rem ain alert and co n sc io u s
every step o f the way.
O n e day Faalataitauana b eg in s to p in e fo r h is sister. Having
w aded th ro u g h his g r ie f and taken u p h is life w h ere it had been
b rok en o f f (th e p ro o f that h is life has g o n e o n lie s in h is c h il
d ren . w h eth e r real o r im a g in a ry ), h e n o w realizes that so m e
th in g essential is m issing . H e has n o t progressed after all, nor
w ill he un til h e gets this essential thing back in to h is life.
In sp ite o f h e r jealou sy . Sisialefafa tells Faalataitauana w hat to
d o to g et to Sin a. H e m u st g o th ro u g h Ilaleg agan a. a w o m an
w ho lives near the whirlpool and thus w ill bring him closer to
the problem o f being engulfed. Secretly, this woman is also in
love with Faalauitauana. Though this detail may reflect a bit o f
local co lo r finding its way in to the story. 1 feel it expresses
something crucial about how one finds one's way out o f sym
biosis. That is to say. m ore is required than the power o f the
m an's ow n w ill; fate herself must seek him out. and he must
accept his fate.
To get to his sister. Faalataitauana must g o through llalega-
gana. and Sisialefafa can instruct him in this w om an's magic
ways. She carries three shells, each o f which em bodies one o f
the brothers. By gathering w ithin him self the potential o f all
three brothers. Faalataitauana becomes capable o f untying the
knot o f family symbiosis w ith w hich the tale began. W hy shells,
we might ask? Shells carry and protect something precious, but
they also enclose; thus the im age suggests entrapm ent and
deprivation o f contact with the outside world. The shells in this
story are further described as “Little,” and indeed they do seem
miniature in the presence o f this great mother who carries her
sons on her body like little toys, guarding them fiercely. The
grand and overw helm ing pow er o f the m other archetype
becomes grotesquely clear. But, thanks in part to his training
with Sisialefafa, Faalataitauana has become so autonomous that
he knows he must undo this miniaturization o f him self and his
brothers: he grabs the shells and smashes them. “How* could
you give my name to such a lousy little shell?” he asks, and so
reveals that he has become conscious o f his worth and will no
longer settle for this brittle husk o f a life.
Taking a stand and insisting on his ow n worth gets results:
Ilalegagana bequeaths him a great many articles. He does not
keep these exclusively for him self, but gives away half to the
others present. Goods and energies— unrealized life possibili
ties— that had been in Ilalegagana's keeping are now* at
Faalataitauana's disposal. The fact that he chooses to share them
seems to me a. statement about the broadening o f his personal

ity. And yet he still succumbs to Ilalegagana's wiles.
What might this mean in terms o f a relationship? As I see it,
the m ovem ent toward Ilalegagana represents a step toward
greater consciousness. Faalataitauana realizes something— per
haps that he is in a relationship with a woman who does not
value him any more than she would a shell she wears for adorn
ment around her neck. More than infantilized, he knows he
could be crushed at any moment. Or perhaps— moving to the
realm o f fantasy— he suddenly realizes that he is as vulnerable
as a fragile shell w orn by a goddess named Fate, and that he
must put up a fight against her, resist her, refuse to accept her. If
he did not, he w ould resem ble those depressed persons we
often see, who experience themselves as little more than pawns
o f fate, who have lost all sense o f their ability to initiate change,
and who have consigned themselves fully to the charge o f oth
ers. Here Faalataitauana has becom e strong enough to reject this
dem eaning situation: he stands his ground w ith dignity and
deals decisively. It also makes sense to me that, after his victory,
he w ould be seduced by Ilalegagana: an act o f autonom y is
always followed by an act o f symbiosis.
Ilalegagana does not recover so easily from her defeat, but
looks around for someone to blame. 1 think this scene gives us a
dearer picture o f what Ilalegagana is all about: a kind o f Mother
Holle o f the South Seas, she is clearly a m anifestation o f the
mother archetype in which the dimension o f the lover, though
still present, has faded into the background. His meeting with
her suggests that, psychodynamically. Faalataitauana is coming
closer to the core o f the problem. In this regard, Sisialcfafa rep
resents a level o f development to which he must not return, but
which, nonetheless, he must allow to live.
Finally. Ilalegagana sends Faalaiaiiauana to visit the blind
Matam olali, w ho knows the Location o f the entrance to the
fountain o f life. W ith a coconut leaf— a remedy from this
I IS ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
world — he is able to restore the old w om an’s sight. This

remarkable image o f the blind m other w ho sits beside the foun
tain o f life brings to mind the expression “blind fate.” Explor
ing this thought further, we are reminded o f Ilalegagana. who
had put her shells in places w here she could not see them :
between her eyes, on her back, in her lap. Evidently, seeing— a
m ode o f conscious perception— has not been very important
until now; indeed, in sym biotic situations, seeing is never the
most essential thing. On the contrary, it sets the seer apart from
what is seen, which is exactly what a person in symbiosis fears
m ost. If Faalataitauana can restore M atam olali's sight, som e
potential that had remained in darkness can be realized, som e
thing denied and closed o f f from the world can now becom e
visibly active in the search for the fountain o f life.
It is my conviction that in working w ith a complex, it is not
only the person who is doing the work that changes (as in our
story Faalataitauana changes in relation to his various w om en),
but something in the unconscious also changes (Matamolali
opens the gates o f the fountain o f life). An ancient symbol for
the life-giving w om b o f life, the fountain is the place where the
earth's riches and overflowing bounty spill out freely. Here the
water necessary for life is brought from the depths to the sur
face. where human beings can put it to use. Our tale is explicit
about this source, from which life once again surges forth. The
souls o f the dead pass by this stream o f living water. As in so
many other tales, the dead here arc symbolic representations o f
various possibilities that never found their way into people's
lives. The task at hand is to win back the possibility represented
by Sina, who must not be allowed to disappear again. Matamo-
lali pulls her out o f the water o f death and conducts her to the
water o f life. Thus we see that Slna was not irrevocably lost after
all; she can be brought back, but only by Matamolali.
Next comes the strange ritual o f subm ersion, beating, and
testing for knowledge o f the four directions. What could this
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O M ATURITY 116
m ean? Su bm ersion in the w ater o f life is n o t d ifficu lt to co m *

p re h en d . D ep ressed a n d lo n g in g to d ie , Sin a had b e e n im
m ersed in th e w a te rs o f d e a th ; n o w th ese m u st b e rin sed
aw ay. N o r did she co m e w illin g ly o u t o f th e d eath ly w aters.
B ea tin g in fo lk ta le s o fte n sig n ifie s an attem p t to d islo d g e
so m eth in g , to get so m e o n e to give up o r let g o o f som eth in g .
Su ch lo g ic is p ro b a b ly a lso b e h in d th e id ea th at b e atin g is a
necessary part o f ch ild -rea rin g . O n e also fin d s, w ith beatin g ,
th e in ten t o f d ru m m in g so m eth in g in to a p e rso n ’s head— o f
getting them to w ake up and n o tice so m eth in g . H ere, it is the
fo u r d ire c tio n s that a rc im p ressed u p o n th e g irl. T h e old
w om an begin s w ith the w est, the d irectio n associated w ith the
realm o f the dead, and does n o t end until she has drum m ed all
the d irections in to S in a s consciousness. Such sym bolic o rienta
tio n is necessary for survival in the land o f the liv in g , and Sina
can only return to life w hen all o f the fou r directions have been
beat into her head.
P eop le lik e Sin a , w h o e m erg e fro m a d eep reg ressio n , are
usually q u ite co n fu se d , and n eed so m e o n e o r so m e th in g to
p ro v id e th e m so m e b a sic o rie n ta tio n . In o u r ta le . Sin a is
rem inded o f her brother by m eans o f his belongings. So in life
can personal possessions that w ere significant befo re the onset
o f a severe reg ression— w h eth e r a psych osis, a m ajo r d epres
sio n , o r a state o f w ithdraw al—-act like signposts, indicating the
w ay back in to daily life.
And n o w b roth er and sister find each oth er again; w hat w as
dead co m es back to life , it is tim e fo r a return to the hom eland.
U ntil n o w the en tire story has taken place in the hellish w hirl
p o o l, w h ich re m in d s us o f a n c ie n t G reek e n tra n ce s to the
u n d erw o rld . T h e aby sm al w aters o f th e riv er Sty x w ere d e
scribed as a w aterfall (hat crashed ov er a ro ck w all so m e 2 0 0
m eters high. O aths w ere m ade by these w aters, w h ich acted as a
w itness un to death. Indeed, the w aters o f the Styx w ere consid
ered so lethal that they could only be carried in a h o o f o r a horn.
117 G E T T I N G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
In ou r tale, (he w aters o f lif e and death are not far apart. This
suggests that the problem o f sym biosis is w orked o u t in a psy
ch ic sphere in w h ich success and failure are very closely knit.
A lthough the fem ale figu res that co m e fo rth are all extrem ely
h e lp fu l, th e w h irlp o o l o f d eath is never far aw ay. Faala-
taitauana’s developm ent probably took su ch a favorable course
because he constantly refused to let h im se lf be sucked in to the
w hirlpool, and rem ained co m m itted to the w orld o f the living.
Therapy o fte n req u ires a sim ilar strategy. T h o u g h w e m ay be
w ell aw are o f th e great d anger o f a given situ atio n (su ch as a
p atien t’s p oten tial to fall in to a deadly sy m b io tic trap ), w e d o
n o t rivet o u r focu s o n the trap. Instead, w e co n cern ourselves
steadily w ith those areas o f l i f e that p ro m ise g row th and p ro
vide the patient w ith psychic nourishm ent.
N o w b r o th e r and siste r leave th e rea lm in w h ich life and
d eath are so c lo s e , in w h ich F aalataitau an a d isco v ered th e
fountain o f life, and return to th eir hom eland. At this p o in t, all
the gains that have b e e n m ad e, all o f th e in n e r d ev elo p m en t
that h as taken p la ce , m u st stand th e test o f actu a lity . O th e r
w ise a n o th e r sy m b io s is w o u ld fo rm — su ch as an a ll-to o -
fam ililar fix a tio n w ith in n e r progress— that co u ld easily turn
in to infinite regress.
T h e sun rises (a n o th e r sy m bo l fo r (he resu m p tio n o f l i f e ) .
b ro th e r and siste r re tu rn h o m e , and F aaia ta itim ea . th e evil
brother, is found dead, punished by the gods. T hus w e are told
that th e b ro th er w h o w ish ed to rem ain w ith in an in cestu ou s
sy m b io sis n o lo n g e r e x ists, and life can take up its onw'ard
cou rse again. Here is w here a new folktale should b eg in , w ith
Sina as the active fig u re, be com in g involved w ith the son o f a
foreign ch ief.
I have in terp reted th e tale in term s o f a b ro th er-sister rela
tio nship . O ut o f the initial situ atio n , w h ich resulted in an act
o f in cest b e tw een b ro th e r and siste r, th e n e cessity aro se fo r
contend ing w ith the factors underlying this sym biosis. Though
Sina conducts'her brother to the place o f confrontation, she

soon disappears, leaving it to the m asculine to wage this
confrontation.
The action described in the tale has all the earmarks o f a con*
frontation with an engulfing m other complex. The devouring
aspect is portrayed in the image o f Sina being swallowed by the
w hirlpool, suggestive o f a deep regression. And yet a co n
frontation with the m other archetype need not always result in
one’s being swallowed up completely; one can also let oneself
be only partially engulfed. Thus we see that as the protagonist
gains broader autonomy, he teams to avoid the disempow'ering
influences that the women in the tale represent, so that he may
be led by them to the fountain o f life. In this way Sina. w ho rep
resents an essential psychic content form erly lost to him . is
brought back to life. The part o f him that died is revived. The
experience o f passing through death and rebirth leaves a deep
mark and conveys a sense o f hope, o f possibilities constantly
awaiting us. The realization o f what has been gained here will
take place in the homeland, the place where the problem began.
This folktale can be understood on a number o f different lev
els. It illustrates the dynamics o f a couple in a sym biotic rela
tionship. each o f w hom has a serious m other problem . For
example, in a relationship between two depressed persons, the
m other problem w ould be in desperate need o f attention. In
facing the problem, there are no guarantees. One possible out
com e w ould be a fall into an even deeper regression, a yet
deeper symbiosis such as is portrayed here w ith Sina’s disap
pearance in the hellish w hirlpool. Another possible outcom e
would be the gradual acquisition o f autonomy, gained through
perseverence. Clients w orking through such problem s may
need to use their analysts as i f the latter were all-giving mothers
with whom it is safe to risk their first steps toward autonomy.
It seems to m e that the two poles represented by the brother
and sister in our tale do not refer to sex roles so much as two
responses (hat are ever-present and fluctuating in any em o

tional situation. At one m om ent one falls into the trap, and at
another one preserves that which nourishes.
But the tale can also be viewed from the perspective o f Sina.
starting o ff w ith the same symbiotic situation. In this case, we
w ould see the story as a description o f the conditions under
w hich som eone could wander o f f the deep end o f his o r her
commitment to life. It would illustrate certain suicidal tenden
cies. literal o r psychic— the latter being comm on among sym-
biotically oriented people, w ho give up quickly and do not give
themselves a second chance. Viewed in terms o f Sina. the story
addresses the sam e underlying m other problem , w hich still
needs to be uncovered. But now w e would say the problem is
tackled with the help o f the heroine's masculine side, which
until then had not been autonomous enough.
A question naturally remains to be answered: Can symbiosis
be characterized as an issue belonging to the m other co m
plexes? And if so. can a course o f therapy that provides an expe
rience o f the positive, nurturing aspect o f the m other archetype
without falling into its traps, show the way out o f symbiosis?
The question certainty deserves further exploration. W e will
return to it at the conclusion o f this book.
■ Redhair Greeneyes
A W A Y O U T OF A TT A C H M EN T TO THE FATH ER
Once there was a merchant w ho told his son, “My boy, i f I die.
d on ’t, under any circum stances, hire ‘Redhair G reeneyes!’”
Time passed, and the light went out o f both his eyes.
“My son.” the father instructed, “go and get yourself a ser
vant so you can keep the business afloat. Go now and make hay.”
On his way into the city, the son saw tw o m en throwing a
corpse out o f their house and then beating it. “ He owed us
money which he never paid. Now he*s dead and gone. W e are
beating him because o f the money he owed us.*'
“If I pay his debts, will you leave him alone?” inquired the son.
“So be it,” answered the men.
And so the lad paid the debt that was owed, buried the body,
and went on into the city. After wandering around until
evening w ithout finding anyone to take into his service, he
went home.
The next day a man stopped him on the street and asked, “Sir,
do you need a servant?”
“Yes, 1 d o ,” the lad replied. However, seeing that it was Red-
hair Greeneyes, he had to turn him away. “I am sorry,” he said.
“You are not the one I am looking for.”
After he had wandered around a bit m ore, he returned home
and told his father what had happened. “Tom orrow ,” the father
instructed his son, “go into the city and make sure you find a
servant."
W hen the lad w ent in to the city the next day. Redhair
Greeneyes approached him again. And so h e decided to take
R edhair G reen eyes h o m e w ith h im . W h e n h e w en t to see h is

fa th e r th at n ig h t, he e x p la in e d . “ I w an d ered aro u n d ev ery
w h e r e . b u t I c o u ld n 't fin d a n y o n e , so I to o k R ed h air
G reen ey es."
" W e l l.” said h is fa th e r, " i f you have already b ro u g h t h im
h o m e, 1 guess that is the w ay it w ill b e ."
O n th e fo llo w in g d ay, th e lad g ot up , prepared h is th in g s,
packed his w ares, and set ou t w ith h is new' servant. W henever
they paused d u ring th e ir travels, the servant m ade tea fo r his
m aster, tended to the anim als, m ade his m aster's b ed , and drewr
his sw ord to w atch guard over the m erchandise.
O n e day th e y ca m e to a cro ssro a d w h ere an o ld m an w as
standing. The youth greeted the m an and th en addressed h im ,
asking, "O ld m an, w e are on ou r w ay to Dam ascus. O f th e three
roads goin g from h e re, w h ich o n e leads to D am ascus?"
"Y o u r h o n o r," replied th e o ld m an . "a ll three roads lead to
Damascus. I f you take this ro ad , it w ill take you six m on th s and
you w ill arrive safe and sound. I f you take the oth er road, it w ill
take you four m o n th s, and you m ay o r may n o t arrive. By that
oth er road there, it w ou ld take you on ly tw o m on th s, but as yet
no on e w h o has traveled it has retu rn ed ."
"S e rv a n t," the lord said, " w e w ill take the six -m o n th ro a d !"
But R ed h air G re e n e y e s sa id , " N o ; w e w ill take (h e tw*o-
m on th ro ad !"
" A h ." the m erchant said to him self. "M y father told m e not
to take R edhair G reeneyes as m y servant, bu t I d id n 't listen to
h im .”
Failing to persuade his servant, w h o had his m ind m ade up.
the lad agreed to take the tw o -m o n th road. A fter traveling for
tw o days, th ey too k a rest at n ig h tfa ll. R ed h air G reen ey es
u n load ed the pack a n im als, p rep ared a m eal fo r h is m aster,
m ade his bed, and drew his sw ord to guard the m erchandise.
Partway in to the n ig h t, h e heard th eir d og barking and saw'
that a d rag o n had c o m e to th e ten t. "H e y d a c h sh u n d ," th e
dragon called ou t, “w hy d oesn ’t so m eo ne kill you and take out

your brain? If a blind man w ere to put it o n his eyes, he w ould
see ag ain ."
"H e y d r a g o n ," the d ach sh u n d resp on d ed in k in d , “ w hy
d o e sn 't so m e o n e kill you and g rin d up y ou r sk u ll-b o n e? I f a
m an w ho had been decrepit for seven years w ere to put it o n his
body, he w ould be healed !"
Raising his sw ord, Redhair G reeneyes w ent after the dragon
and, w ith on e stroke, let the head fly. Then he brou gh t the head
back and put it in a bo x, w h ich he closed and placed along w ith
the m erchandise.
The dragon w as the reason w hy n o o n e w h o to o k this road
had ever returned.
The n ext m o rn in g , R edhair G reeneyes loaded u p th e goods
and called his m aster, w h o m oun ted his horse and rode in front
w h ile R edhair G reeneyes took up th e rear. T hey rode together
until they reached Dam ascus, w here they rented a ro o m and set
ou t their goods fo r sale.
O n e day a to w n c rie r ca m e aroun d. “T h e king has rh eum a
tism .” h e an n ou nced , “and has prom ised to w h o m ever can heal
h im w hatever his heart d e sire s."
R edhair G reeneyes said: “ Lord, you w ill say that you can heal
h im .”
“ L a d ." said m a ster to serv an t, “ w h at d o I k n o w a b o u t
m edicine? I have n o exp erien ce in su ch m atters."
“I ’m tellin g y o u ," ordered R edhair G reen ey es, “e ith e r you
d o it o r I’ll hack y ou in tw o w ith m y sw o rd ."
" G o o d , I w ill h e al h im ,” said th e m e rch a n t, b e cau se he
feared Redhair G reeneyes.
T h e to w n crie r th e n brou g h t th e m essag e to th e king. “O n
such and su ch a street.“ he told h im . “ there is a m erchant w ho
says h e can heal y o u ."
“L ad ," th e king com m and ed the crier, “ brin g him h e re ." O n
th e ir w ay to visit th e k in g . R ed h air G reen ey es in stru cted his
master, the merchant. “Take this dragon's head and grind it up

in a m ortar. Mash it up w ell and spread it all over a roll o f
unbleached cotton. Undress (lie king and wrap his body in the
cloth. Have him lie there for tw enty-fou r hours, and then
remove it again.*’
The m erchant did as his servant had instructed. W hen the
time was up. he removed the wrapping and the king stood up as
healthy as on the day he was born.
So the king said to the m erchant. “Come here and tell me
what it is that your heart desires.”
"Your m ajesty,” the young man answered, “there is nothing
that 1 need, for I am already rich in possessions. However, i f
it is your desire to please m e, then give m e the hand o f your
daughter.”
“My dear young m an.” responded the king, “in the name o f
God— if only you had asked for anything in the world other than
this. In return for the good deed that you have done me, how can
I give you my daughter? Dear fellow, I have already married her
three times, and each time the marriage lasted only one night.
The next morning her husband was always found dead.”
“W ell, they may be dead.” the merchant replied, “but 1 still
want your daughter.” And so the king gave him his daughter.
That evening a bed was made ready for the bridal pair. Red-
hair Greeneyes drew his sword and kept watch over the young
couple after they fell asleep. Soon he saw the girl’s braids begin
ning to shake. Thrashing back and forth, they turned into snakes.
When (hey wrapped themselves around the bridegroom’s neck
as i f to strangle him . Redhair Greeneyes struck their heads o ff
with his sword. That night the king could not sleep. ”Oh God.”
he moaned, ’’this young man did me such a good deed, giving
me my life back. Please let him still be alive come m orning!”
The next morning at the break o f dawn the king sent some o f
his people to see what had happened. “Go, and bring me good
news.” he bid them.
“W e bring you good news,*’ said the men upon their return.
’’Your son-in-law is safe and sound."
At this, the king ordered a grand celebration that lasted for
seven days and seven nights. He assembled tw ice as many
goods as the young man had and gave them to him , saying,
“You are most welcome; now go your way.”
With their wares in tow. Redhair Greeneyes followed his lord
and his lord’s new spouse. W hether they went a long way or a
short way, they traveled until they reached the outskirts o f their
city. Redhair Greeneyes said, "M y lord, you know that all o f this
belongs to m e.”
“Y es," the lord acknowledged.
"Let us divide it up fairly.” said Redhair Greeneyes.
"As you w ill,” responded his lord.
After dividing the entire lot into two parts Redhair Greeneyes
asked, "Lord, is there anything else?”
"N o , what should there be left?”
"W hat about our dachshund?”
"Let him be either yours or m in e," answered the merchant.
"N o ,” said Redhair Greeneyes. "W e will divide him up.”
"F o r G od’s sake.” said the m erchant. "Y o u can have him .
What shall I do with him ?"
"It Is a matter o f fairness. I w ill split him in tw o.”
Thus. Redhair G reeneyes drew his sword and split the
dachshund in tw o. from head to foot. "T h ere.” he said. "Take
whichever half you like, my lord."
"You know what is best.” said the merchant. " It is between
you and your God.”
"Rightly s o ." said Redhair Greeneyes. "T his is for you and
this is for me. Is there anything else, my lord?”
"There is nothing else," he said.
"O h yes there is; there is your wife.**
Now his lord was deeply dismayed. "F o r G od's sake,” he
said, "Let her he yours or let her be m ine.”
" N o ,” said R edhair G reeneyes. " I dem and that ju stice p re
vail. 1 w ill cut her in to tw o pieces, on e for you and on e for m e ,”
“For G od ’s sak e,” cried the m erchant. “How can you cu t her
into tw o pieces?”
R edhair G reeneyes drew h is sw ord and stood ov er the girl,
w ho shrieked in fright. As sh e scream ed , tw o snakes slithered
ou t o f her nostrils.
T h e servant attacked and killed b o th o f them . **My lo rd ,” he
said, “ th ese tw o sn ak es w e re th e w o rk o f y o u r sp o u se. T h ey
co u ld have cau sed y ou h a rm . T h an k s to m e , y ou w ife is safe
n o w . Take th e d achsh un d ’s head h o m e w ith y ou . G rind it up
w ell and put it o n y o u r fa th er's eyes and they w ill be healed. As
for m e, I am g o in g to d ie n o w . F o r I am that m an w hose body
you saved fro m m y d ebtors. I prayed that G od m ig h t allow m e
another th ree m on th s to live in ord er to pay you back fo r your
kindness. N o w I m u st d ie- B u t i f y ou w o u ld , p lease bu ry m e
here and let God w atch ov er y ou r w ays.”
T h en R ed h air G re e n e y e s d ied o n th e sp o t. A fter h e w as
placed in the ground , the m erchant gathered tog eth er his goods
and w ent h o m e w ith his w ife. He healed his fath er’s eyes and
told him about how R edhair G reeneyes had d one n o thing but
good for him .
As they w ent on w ith their lives, their w ishes w ere fulfilled.
May your w ishes be fulfilled as well!
This folktale, from K urdistan,14 depicts yet another type o f sym

biosis, w hich requires its ow n unique way out. T he tale begins
w ith a m erchant and his son. Apparently there are no w om en in
this household , or i f there are, they are not im portant enough to
be m entioned.
In m aking plans for his son for after his ow n death, the m er
chant denies him his autonom y. This strikes m e as a sym biotic
situation. But the father does no t die here, he "o n ly ” goes blind
— which could signify his incapacity to see Redhair Greeneyes’s

importance for his son and for his ow n future as well. Becom
ing blind means losing foresight and perspective. Images o f the
past remain, but no new ones are created. Naturally, the m otif
o f the blind seer is also suggested— the old m an w ho. having
lost his outward sight, sees great truths w ithin. Perhaps this
father has to look within in order to see that he is trying to pro
tect his son by keeping him from his own experiences. Or per
haps the most important thing about the m erchant's blindness
is that it causes the son to take on a servant, around whom the
story revolves.
The son is extrem ely passive and never does anything un
less his father asks him to. W e find such a figu re in many
folktales: i.e .. a son w ho is bored at hom e and asks his father
for money in order to see the world or find a woman. Such a fig
ure remains a son to the end. an extension o f his father, w ho
remains the master.
In many such tales, as in this one. the issue is the son’s sepa
ration from his father and acquisition o f autonom y. From a
m ore sociohistorical perspective, it concerns the upcom ing
generation's renewal and redefinition o f paternal and mascu
line energies. I f we see the father and the king as representatives
o f the masculine principle, we see just how badly such rejuve
nation is needed: the father is blind and the king is rheumatic!
On his way into the city, w e are told, the son encounters two
m en beating the corpse o f a man w ho died before he could
repay his debtors. The dead man still owes something to the liv
ing; he has failed to live up to something important in his life.
The corpse represents an aspect o f life that was excluded from
the symbiotic situation. As the target o f beating, it brings us face
to face with the aggressive parts o f the personality. This display
o f aggression is hardly one that enhances the quality o f life. The
m en w ho beat the corpse are preoccupied with something that
has long been dead. This imagery makes me think o f grown-up
sons and daughters w ho insist their parents still ow e them

something. O f course, as much could be said o f most o f us—
which is perhaps not such a had thing. After all. if our parents
had given us everything, we would hardly have the chance to
discover anything new. Still, a good many sons and daughters
spend their entire lives beating on this "co rp se" in the b elief
that it would com e alive i f they just beat long and hard enough.
This is, o f course, a futile exercise which drains one’s energy.
Ultimately, it proves nothing except that the children expect to
be given what they cannot earn or accomplish for themselves.
This is, indeed, a demonstration o f symbiotic demands.
The son in the folktale does exactly what is required in such a
situation: He pays o ff the debt attached to the corpse, redeem
ing whatever the person failed to deliver in life, and buries the
corpse, throwing dirt over it. He placates the problem and pays
for his father’s om issions. W e all pay for our parents’ om is
sions , and our children will pay for our omissions as well. Here,
the young man lays the problem to rest. Perhaps we can see one
more aspect o f the beating in light o f this: sometimes we bury
our problems before w e have recognized and suffered through
our feelings about them. Then again, we can also be too slow to
bury our problems. Here the son seems to come along and bury
at the right tim e, putting an end to the matter so that life can
continue. Funerary rituals can be seen as a means for transform
ing the dead: by “reminding" them that they need to return to
the earth from which they came, they are aided in rejoining the
cycle o f fertility. Thus we might say that for his first step toward
autonomy, the son takes the initiative to ransom something that
had been excluded from the sym biotic system , som e bit o f
unfinished business. He pays attention to an issue that was
neglected under the old regime.
In his search for a servant, the son finds only one candidate.
Rcdhair Greeneyes, whose offer o f help he at first rejects. But on
his third day o f looking, having no other alternatives, he de
cides to take the man his father had explicitly warned against.
And yet when informed o f the choice, his father is surprisingly
quick to agree. From the end o f the tale, we know that Redhair
Greeneyes is none other than the corpse that the son ransomed.
And having ransomed him , he cannot resist him. The son has
set free an entire realm that the corpse possessed away from life,
and now this whole realm must be integrated into life.
What realm might the figure o f the sen-ant portray? A hint
might lie in the name assigned to him. Red and green are oppo
site colors, suggesting not only a tendency to clash but the abil
ity to arrive at a certain balance. Red hair and green eyes: i f the
figure were a woman, such a combination o f attributes would
suggest she was a witch. Red hair indicates a fiery temper and
passions, a capacity for reacting w ith sharp affect and deep
emotion. There is danger present, but also warmth. In the sym
bolism o f folktales, red hair— like red beards— are attributes o f
the devil. But the fact that w e are dealing here w ith demoniza-
tion does not tell us much; we need to ask what is being demo
nized. Could it be passion itself that has been associated w ith
the devil, an impetuous life-energy that does not balk at aggres
sive outbreaks? Clearly this “red” element has been lacking in
the son*s upbringing— otherwise his father never would have
sent him awray.
In contrast to his red hair, the servant has green eyes. Capable
o f gazing deeply, green eyes are m ysterious and difficult to
read. Such eyes seem to hide som e secret, indeed, w e may even
w orry about them becom in g poisonous. His green eyes,
together w ith his dynamic and aggressive appearance, give the
servant a shady quality that makes him seem like a man with
underground connections. As with the father, the eyes here are
significant. However. Redhair Greeneyes very definitely “sees**
— and perhaps he also disapproves.
All form s o f passion, all relations to the shadier regions o f
life, have been lacking until nowr. As long as the son was nice
and did not stray from his father, life remained as lifeless as a
corpse. But now the very embodiment o f the “other side** has
been employed as a traveling companion and given a leading
role in all deliberations along the way. Now he cannot be
ignored. Though his companion is hardly a father figure, the
son is still a long way from making decisions; Redhair Green-
eyes retains the authority. Though the son would have chosen
the safest way to Damascus (in keeping with the initial symbio
sis). Redhair Greeneyes chooses the riskiest: the tw o-m onth
road, from w hich no one has ever yet returned. He chooses the
way o f possible death, a way that may well lead to ruin.
Redhair Greeneyes can be understood as a psychic element in
the son that has a great deal o f eagerness and capacity, having
just been ransomed from the dead. The ego can do little to stop
this inner dynamism, which is something that we are aware o f
experiencing when others tell us, “Slow dow n; you are ahead
o f yourself." W e ourselves can only try to keep up; our determi
nation concerns even us.
Redhair Greeneyes chooses the path o f risk and confronta
tion. Knowing that no one has ever returned from this path, he
can expect to encounter a decisive danger there. By taking the
six-month road, he would been guaranteed o f a safe arrival in
Damascus, but he would not have been transformed. And the
purpose o f a path is to provide an experience, a significant event,
rather than to preserve safety and the status quo.
It does not take long for an event to take place; in the night, a
dragon appears. Not satisfied w ith a meal, the dragon seeks a
quarrel with the dachshund that has accompanied the merchant
and his servant. Dragon and dachshund each advise the other
that they are capable o f killing him , but also that their respective
brains can be put to good use— the brain o f the dachshund for
curing blindness, that o f the dragon to reverse a general decline
in health. As w e know , Redhair Greeneyes kills the dragon,
removes his head, and then awakens his master.
The dragon belongs to the world o f monsters more than the

w orld o f huMan beings. O ne im agines such a creature as a
winged snake, a monstrum that belongs as much to the earthly as
the celestial realm. However, its wings do not free it completely
from earthly concerns; usually dragons are appointed the task
o f guarding a treasure. Generally they watch over this treasure
so effectively that a great deal o f courage, strength, or cunning
is required to get to it; in taking on the dragon there is a good
chance that one will be consumed.
O ne can view the dragon as something profoundly uncon*
scious in the human psyche, something that wants to swallow
up everything that is new ly conceived , to destroy every
step taken forward in consciousness, to send one regressing
back to some archaic level. But conquering the dragon liberates
a treasure.
The dragon in our tale is a talking dragon, w hich indicates
that it is much closer to the world o f human beings than many.
This is a dragon that can be dealt w ith. Indeed. Redhair
Greeneyes kills it with very little difficulty. And we would prob*
ably all agree that it needs to be killed, that the danger o f severe
regression it represents must be eliminated. But the dachshund
also needs to be killed. The dachshund is a hunting dog trained
to track badgers. If we regard the dachshund as one o f the son's
behavioral possibilities, w e m ight say it is his doggedly faithful
side, the part that follow s the orders o f his master— o r his
father— without thinking.
Both o f these behavioral possibilities arise out o f symbiosis
and the repression o f Redhair Greeneyes. and both can be
worked through. For now the issue (hat was denied has been
accepted into consciousness, indeed, it now plays a leading role
in its development. The dialogue between the dragon and the
dachshund is similar to an intrapsychic dialogue between com
plexes. Once a complex has been recognized, it often begins a
spontaneous process o f recovery, w hich can be witnessed in
dreams and fantasies.
To illustrate this spontaneous process, I would like to use the

following dream. The dreamer was a young man whose self
esteem was extrem ely unstable as the result o f his father's
authoritarian style.
A flashy guy about m y age. looking cool and tough on his big
Honda, meets a shy, skinny young fellow, and looks him up and
dow n w ithout saying anything. The skinny guy is afraid and
holds on tight to his girlfriend. Suddenly the flashy guy gets o ft
o f his motorcycle and motions to the shy one that he can take a
turn on the bike. The bashful guy asks his girlfriend i f she wants
to go with the motorcycle rider. She nods. The skinny guy sends
her o ff w ith the flashy one.
W ithout going into the dreamer’s associations here, we can

note that the dream clearly illustrates two o f the d ream er's
behavioral options— flashy or shy. During the course o f the
dream, these extremes com e closer together and indeed com
municate with each other. The dream er did not recognize
cither o f them as a dream -ego; he simply saw them as young
men about the same age as himself. Thus he showed that he was
not yet conscious o f these as potential modes o f bis ow n behav
ior. Split o ff from his ego and sense o f self, they are patterns o f
behavior dictated by his complexes, reactions that com e alive
when he trips up or loses his balance. The rapprochement that
takes place in the dream— and thus in the unconscious— repre
sents the com plex's spontaneous process o f recovery.
Returning to the complexes in our story, we are told that nei
ther the dragon nor the dachshund should be completely elim i
nated. Their brains— i.e., their essence— should be preserved,
processed, and utilized medicinally, follow ing the adage that
the correct dosage o f poison can be curative.
Suffering from rheumatism, the king o f Damascus must be
quite stiff. According to a theory put forth in psychosomatics,
inhibited aggression may be one factor in the genesis o f
rheumatism.” The king, the father o f the land, is cursed with
illness. In general, all the forces o f the masculine seem to be
weak and under attack— so it ’s little w onder that Redhair

G reeneyes is nothing but a vapid corpse. Now h e w ho goes
w ith Redhair Greeneyes sets out to cure the king. O f course, he
does not embark on this undertaking o f his ow n accord, but
only in response to Redhair Greeneyes’s threats.
How is the king cured? The head o f the dragon must be
ground up and applied to an unbleached cotton cloth. Then king
must undress him self, then w rap the cloth around his naked
body and remain in it for no less than twenty-four hours. In this
passage, w e find a description o f the “renewal o f the king," an
ancient rite o f death and rebirth. In such rites, the old “nature** is
taken o ff and the new nature put on (Ephesians 4 :2 2 -2 4 ). W e
know that in ancient tim es, unbleached cotton was used for
wrapping corpses— hence the suggestion o f ritual death. W hat’s
m ore, the pulverized dragon’s head should effect a real transfor
mation. If the king's head comes into contact with the essence o f
the dragon head, the king will absorb a measured dose ofdragon
nature— a process that should have a curative rather than a poi
sonous effect. In all, the scene describes beautifully a patient
w orking-through o f the negative, destructive potential the
dragon represents. Such a working-through requires a perspec
tive that allows the positive side o f the complex— here, nonde
structive aggression— to penetrate the king’s pores as well.
I find that we becom e destructive w henever we deny the
aggression associated with a highly directed pursuit and avoid
the intense confrontations that may result. If w e deny this
aggression, w e are often left with an “all or nothing’* solution,
which, more often than not, is destructive. In this tale, (he king
is not directly destructive; his aggression is repressed and dele
gated to his daughter. He must therefore be reeducated about his
own destructiveness so that his healthy aggression can be m obi
lized to restore his flexibility and free him o f his “rheumatism."
The king is transformed and reborn, and so is the son, w ho is
now called a young man. And when it comes to his reward, the
young m an asks for the kin g 's daughter. This tim e, it is not Red-
hair G reen ey es w h o m akes the d e cisio n , but the y o u n g m an
him self. T he k in g 's flexibility is restored, the m asculine recov
ers, and the young m an becom es m ore autonom ous.
But h is c h o ic e o f rew ard appears n o t to have b e en su ch a
happy on e: as it happens, the k in g 's daughter has already been
m arried three tim es and the m o rn in g after each w edd ing the
hu sband w as d iscov ered dead (cf. the story o f T o b ias in the
"B o o k o f T o b it " fro m the in tertestam em al Apocrypha). As w c
have seen, this is the result o f the k in g 's repressed aggression,
w h ich had been delegated to his daughter. But the three dead
bridegroom s d o n 't make m uch o f an im pression on the young
m erchant, w h o by now is squarely on the path o f risk.
And so. w hen the young m an and his new w ife g o to bed, the
girl's braids begin to quiver and turn in to snakes. But befo re the
snakes can stra n g le th e sle e p in g b r id e g ro o m , R ed h air
G reeneyes strikes o f f th e ir heads. W hat d anger d o these snakes
represent? W e noted that there w ere n o w o m en present at the
begin ning o f the tale w h o m ig h t have helped break th e sy m bi
o tic bond o f fath er and so n . N ow a fem ale fig u re en ters w h o
represents a danger to m e n . and w e see that "rep ressed " fem i
n in e energy and repressed aggression are tw o sides o f a co in .
W h at d oes it m ean that the w o m a n 's braids turn in to snakes?
In the fo rm o f a braid, hair that oth erw ise m igh t be ero tic is tied
u p a n d o rd e re d , and th u s b e c o m e s sn aky. E ro tic d em an d s
be com e sexual dem ands w h ich endanger the young m an ’s sur
vival. They ore highly dangerous in more than one regard T h e passion that
w as sp lit o f f a n d e m b o d ie d in R ed h air G reen ey es su rely in
cluded sexuality and sensuality. L ooking o n ce again at the in i
tial situ ation , it o ccu rs to u s that, had it b een p erm itted , such
sexual passion m ig h t have guided the you ng m an aw ay from
his fath er's side and ended the sym biosis lon g ag o. N o w , sexu
ality can n o lo n g e r b e rep ressed. A tran sfo rm atio n m ust take
place, and transform ations are always hazardous.
Already, the son is changed in that he is n o lon g er sim ply the

son o f a fath er, but also the husband o f a w om an. But now he
m ust co nsu m m ate the sexual act in ord er fo r the full transfor
m a tio n to o ccu r. T h is is o n e danger. A noth er is that sexuality
always involves a m om ent o f self-aband on , a w illing fall in to an
orgiastic realm . O ften experienced as a kind o f death, self-aban
d onm ent triggers intense anxiety. I know o f clien ts w ith unsta
ble egos w h o d o not w ish to have an orgasm because they are
afraid o f lo sin g th em selv es. But o n c e R cd h air G recn ey es has
killed the snakes, the h e ro o f o u r tale n o lo n g er has to face this
d an g er. H aving g ain ed a ce rta in am o u n t o f e x p e rie n c e w ith
em o tio n s and aggression, he can actively face the potential vio
lence o f the sexual situation as w ell. It could b e destructive fo r
him i f he lost his ind ep en d en ce and becam e co m p letely su b
jected to the w om an, w hich often happens w h en ero s and sex
uality are involved.
The next day, this m arriage o f m asculine and fem in in e is ce l
eb rated w ith jo y — jo y that the w o m a n is n o lo n g e r s o o v e r
w h e lm in g , jo y that all m e n w h o b e c o m e in v o lv ed w ith her
need not be co n d em n ed to death. As it turns ou t, the solution
w as not for w om an to be co m e w eaker but for m an to beco m e
stro n g er. T h is broad en in g o f p o ssib ilities fo r all co n cern ed is
indeed a cause for celebration.
T hen the young m an is sent on h is w ay. along w ith his w ife
and tw ice the a m o u n t o f g o o d s that h e started o u t w ith — an
in d ic a tio n o f h o w m u ch h is p erso n ality has exp an d ed . But
befo re the travelers reach th eir d estin ation, R edhair G recneyes
w ants to divide everything up. At Erst h e claim s it all belongs to
him, w h ich is in a sense co rrect, since the m erch ant's good for
tune only began after h e salvaged the corpse and took this new'
servant in to his service. T hen Rcdhair G reeneyes asks that every
thing he divided up and differentiated. U p until this p oin t, the
m erch an t's relationship w ith R edhair G reeneyes has been very
sy m b io tic , and in d e e d , it has b e en q u ite sim ila r to th e m er
ch an t’s relationship w ith his father. Now the sym biosis that has
b e en tran sferred m ust be d issolved . T h is is acco m p lish ed
through Redhair G reeneyes's last task, nam ely, through estab
lishing w hat belongs to him and w hat belongs to the m erchant.
A sim ilar task confronts anyone attem pting to sort out w hether a
pow er they experience w ith in them selves is som eth in g under
the control o f their eg o, or som ething that transcends their co n
sciousness. I f it is anything like Redhair Greeneyes, such a pow er
probably w ill never allow itse lf to be integrated com pletely.
M aking distinctions is no easy task, and the m erchant clearly
resists dividing up the dachshund. It seem s he d oesn ’t w ant to
know what his h a lf o f the dachshund represents in term s o f the
unfinished business. T o divide and to share, o n e m ust be able to
stand back from the o b je c t in qu estio n and lo o k at it realisti
cally. H ere, the m erch an t has a ch an ce to b e co m e m o re c o n
scio u s, but first he m ust b e co m e aw are o f h is d aebsh u n d lik e
behavior, fo r it m ust be sacrificed.
As it turns o u t. th e w om an is to b e d ivided, too— o r at least
su bjected to a kind o f exorcism that drives ou t the evil still pres
ent in her. It is notew orthy that the snakes ex it through h er n os
trils. In ad d itio n to b re a th in g and th e e x ch a n g e o f o u te r and
in n e r, th e n o se is a sso cia ted w ith a cap acity fo r se n sin g th e
fu tu re, as in th e exp ressio n **she has a g ood n o se ” fo r things.
T h e sn ak es re m in d u s o n c e again o f th e b r id e ’s d estru ctiv e
potential. O n ce again it is R edhair G reeneyes. the em bod im en t
o f passion’s positive aspect, w h o fights w ith passion’s d estruc
tiv e a sp e ct. H av in g k ille d th e d ra g o n and th e sn ak es in th e
braids, h e n o w attacks th e serpents in the nostrils.
I f a passionate, d yn am ic cle m en t that had been repressed is
suddenly “ ran so m ed ” and allow ed to act freely , w e m ust not
e x p e a its effects to b e u n am biguou sly g oo d and co n stru a iv e
b u t m u st reck o n w ith a certa in d estru ctiv e p o ten tial as w ell.
O fte n , how ever, the positive a sp e a w ill create the co n d ition s in
w hich th e destructive aspect can b e successfully dealt w ith.
At this point in the story, Redhair Greeneyes dies— which

tells us that the aspect o f life that he represents has been inte
grated, at least partially. To a certain extent, the m erchant is
now capable o f living like Redhair Greeneyes.
Now the young man returns home and restores his father's
sight. Over the course o f his journey, he has achieved som e
thing not only for him self, but for all fathers, including the
king. When wholeness is restored, one need no longer seek its
illusory substitute in a symbiotic relationship.
One might note that the end o f the tale finds the son once
again living with his father, which prompts one to ask whether
the symbiotic attachment has truly come to an end. But let us not
forget that this is an oriental folktale, which derives from a cul
ture in which it was customary for several generations to live in
close proximity. However, comparable tales make it very clear
that the son has become the carrier o f the family tradition. And
besides, a son w ith such an intensely positive father complex
w ould be unlikely to lose it altogether; most likely he would
continue to live it out in relation to other father figures. In any
case, it is safe to say that the symbiosis at the end o f the tale is
nowhere near as enveloping as the symbiosis at the beginning.
Let us attempt to schematize the way out o f symbiosis por
trayed in this tale. At the beginning, the son is a “victim ” o f a
symbiotic relationship w ith his father. This arrangement is dis
turbed w hen the fath er goes blind, thus forcing the son to
becom e more independent.
The son lakes his first step out o f symbiosis when he ransoms
the corpse. Seeing what was excluded from the system, he pays
for it and puts it to rest himself. The crucial fact here is that he
acts on his ow n jud gm ent, even i f only ou t o f com m on
decency. This gesture then leads to an act o f disobedience when
he hires the very helper that his father warned him against. At
this point the tale begins to resemble a num ber o f “ brother”
folktales in which two heroes strengthen each other. In “Red-
137 ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S Y M 8 IO S IS
hair Greeneyes." the figure w ho appears to accompany (he son

gives him exact information about what to do at each step along
the way. In obeying him . the son renews his symbiotic tie to a
father figure. In a therapeutic situation, this could describe
someone w ith symbiotic tendencies w ho suddenly dreams o f a
powerful, authoritative figure w ho shows him that the way out
o f his problems is to develop capacities that had been stifled in
the symbiosis. This dream figure may appear as a brother or a
sister, and since the sym biotically bound person is prone to
obey, may have quite a lot to say about how the transactions o f
daily life should be handled.
A thirty-six-year-old analysand provides us w ith a good
example o f such a directive inner figure. This man was closely
bound to his father, was even employed by him . and dared to
conduct no business w ithout discussing it in detail w ith him .
W hen the young man was away o r on vacation, he called his
father on the phone frequently, sometimes even several tim esa
day. He came for counseling (after talking it over w ith his
father) because, although he had met a number o f wom en, he
had not been able to build a lasting relationship. In his dreams,
there appeared several tim es the figure o f a m ountain guide
who was modeled after someone he had met once. The guide
became very important to him as he showed (he man how to
scale steep cliffs and spurred him on to other risky adventures.
The mountain guide embodied values such as adventurousness,
courage, faithfulness, and sim plicity. As the dream figure
waxed in importance in the young m an’s life, the father waned;
at the same time, the son’s sense o f his own significance and ini
tiative also grew. O f course, in the end. it was necessary also to
"separate" from the mountain guide.
Although identifying w ith this dream figure temporarily
boosted the analysand's self-esteem , he was forced to admit
that he him self wasn't anything like a mountain guide. His own
unique personality was composed o f quite different behavioral
p o ssibilities‘and values. The m ountain guide seduced him

to peaks o f valor beyond his true sense o f him self, to acts o f
courage that w ere necessary in the phase o f separation, but
that would not have been very meaningful for the remainder o f
his life journey.
Often it is the analyst him self who takes on this role o f com
panion figure. In such cases, the phase o f separation (or, as in
the tale, “dividing”) becomes quite tangible. When the com
panion is projected onto the analyst, an “inner companion” is
usually constellated as well. This phenom enon appears
throughout human history* in the form o f guardian angels and
other beneficent spirits. Thus, we can see that the inner com
panion includes a dimension that transcends both analyst and
client. Analysts cannot play the role o f the celestial guide for
long, nor can clients expect to realize its exalted qualities during
their lifetimes. The companion, like Rcdhair Greeneyes. is a fig
ure o f destiny; part o f him can and must be integrated into life,
but other parts will and must be left out.
(n the course o f the story, the companion restores what was
diseased: here, the realm o f aggression and im pulse. New
realms com e into the picture as w ell, such as the relationship
with a woman. Our tale aptly expresses both the life-enhancing
and life-threatening aspects o f what had been repressed. Capa
ble o f swallowing life up, the dragon can also be used as a rem
edy: the w om an w ho was a cause for joy is also the bearer o f
deadly snakes. In the course o f encountering these figures, the
son’s autonomy grows.
As a next step, the symbiosis with the companion also has to
be broken, and this requires exhaustive deliberations concern
ing what belongs to whom. W hen the initial symbiosis is finally
dissolved, life can continue on its course.
One could also see the tale as a description o f a complex that.
split o ff from awareness at first, is finally returned to conscious
ness. Sym biosis is a system that serves to defend against the
139 ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H SY M BIO SIS
complex. Let us not forget that conflicts portrayed in folktales

may also reflect the times out o f which they arise. However,
since the Redhair Greeneyes-type o f tale has been circulating
for a very long time,1* we may conclude that it represents a uni
versal human problem.
■ The Daughter of the Lemon Tree
A W A Y O U T O F O V E R P R O T E C T IO N
Once upon a tim e, (here lived a king and queen w h o w ere

known far and wide and who’had only one child, a handsome
prince. When the prince was sixteen, he would walk to school
with the son o f the vizier. They loved each other as i f they were
brothers. One day the two youths were playing o n the ro o f o f a
small house in which there lived a poor old wom an w ho was
cooking lentils. Accidentally, the prince threw a stone that fell
down the chim ney and landed in the old w om an’s clay pot,
breaking it to pieces. The poor old woman ran out o f her house,
and seeing the prince on her roof, called out to him , “As much
as I wanted to eat the lentils 1 just cooked, so m uch should you
want the daughter o f the lemon tree!" This frightened the boys
away, and since it was already getting dark, each returned to his
own house.
From that day on, the prince began to fret. He could neither eat
nor sleep, and all night long he thrashed about in his bed, moan
ing and groaning. The king grew very worried and called first the
court physician, and then other physicians, and later still others.
But no one was able to determ ine what had brought on the
prince’s condition. Finally the son o f the vizier, w ho knew the
cause o f the disease, told the king everything. When they heard
the reason, the king and queen promised their child that they
would gel him the daughter o f the lemon tree, and the prince
began to recover the state o f health that he had formerly enjoyed.
The first thing he did after getting up from his sick bed was to
pay the old lady a visit. First he begged her forgiveness for
doing the damage, then he pleaded with her to tell him where
he could find the daughter o f the lemon tree. At first she would
not tell him . but when he promised her that he would give her
a great reward, she said to him , "Listen carefully, my child: The
daughter o f the lemon tree is far away. And if you are going to
find her. you will have to get yourself three pairs o f shoes made
out o f iron, each o f which will last only one year. You will have
to be on your journey for three years, alone, with n o beast or
coach to carry you. You must always navel eastward, toward
the rising sun. You must keep on without stopping for rest. You
will use the first pair o f shoes during the first year, the second
pair during the second year, and the third pair during the third
year. By the time the third year is over, the third pair o f shoes
will be full o f holes, and you will come to a marvelously beauti*
ful palace. There you will find the daughter o f the lemon tree.”
Filled with joy, the prince thanked the old lady, gave her the
reward, and hurried home to tell his parents.
W hen they heard o f his plans, the king and queen began to
fuss and brood. They were afraid that they wrould lose their son
i f he set out on such an adventure and so tried everything to
keep him from going. But his m ind was m ade up. W hen he
refused to give up his wish to go. they finally granted their per
m ission. fearing that i f they did not. he m ight get sick again.
And so. while the prince set out on his trip in good spirits, the
king and queen dressed in black and wondered i f they would
ever see their son again.
The prince put on the first pair o f shoes and crossed over
mountains, through valleys, over fiatlands and rivers, through
woods, up steep inclines and dowfn steep slopes, without ever
stopping. Only at night did he lay down to sleep, and early in
the m orning he was already o n his way again. After a year o f
this, his first pair o f shoes was full o f holes, so he put on the sec
ond pair and kept on walking. After the second year, he put on
his third pair o f shoes and continued on his long trek. W hen he
still hadn't found a castle after the third year, he began to lose
faith. Dejected, he sat down on a rock and thought for a long
time about whether to turn back or keep on going. As he was
thinking, he watched the huge globe o f the sun disappear
beyond the horizon, when suddenly he saw something in front
o f him o ff to the right. It was a beautiful castle, which sparkled,
shone, and glowed, as i f it were made o f jewels.
The prince's spirits picked up immediately, and he hurried
o ff to the castle. When he got there and entered the gate, he saw
a strange sight. There in front o f him were a lot o f people doing
all kinds o f handiwork, but no one ever glanced at the person
next to him or said a word. Though he drew* near and hailed
them, no one looked up at him, responded to his greetings, or
paid him any attention w hatsoever. Greatly dismayed, the
prince again lost faith. But in the midst o f his hurt he suddenly
heard a voice calling to him , “Good child, com e here, up the
stairs!" Gathering him self tog ether, he ran up the stairs as
quickly as possible, and there he saw a young man his age. After
they greeted each other, the young man asked the prince why
he had com e to the castle. "T o find the daughter o f the lemon
tree, that's w h y ." answered the prince. And the young man
replied. "You shall have the daughter o f the lemon tree. But you
cannot see her tonight. Eat well, sleep, and tom orrow w e will
meet again and discuss the m atter."
Then the prince asked about the people he had seen doing
handiw'ork below , and why it was that they could not answer
his greeting. "They are making other people's fortunes," said
the youth. "But 1 am your fate. So eat now , sleep, and you shall
have your heart's desire."
And so the prince lay down in the soft bed provided for him ,
but no sleep came. Never in his life had a night seemed so long.
When morning finally came, he got up. washed him self, said
his prayers, and went into the dining room , where he found a
table covered w ith all kinds o f delicious things that had been
put there by invisible hands. But he had no desire to eat; all he

wanted was to see the daughter o f the lemon tree!
just then, the youth w ho was his fate appeared. “Eat that you
may be strong, for the journey you must make is a hard on e.”
said the youth, whose name was Fortune. W hen the prince had
finished eating, Fortune clapped his hands, and suddenly there
appeared a winged horse that had a human voice. Now Fortune
told the prince that if he sat on the horse and did everything the
horse told him to do, he would get what he wanted.
The youth then swung him self up onto the horse, gripped its
flanks with his legs and held the reins tightly with his hands.
Then the horse took off, and as fast as lightning— on e. two,
three— it cam e to a garden w ith a large tree that had three
lemons on it and was guarded by forty giants.
As they were com ing down to land, the winged horse told
the prince about the giants. “The giants guard the lemon tree so
that no one can steal its lemons. Inside each lemon is the daugh*
ter o f the lem on tree. Hold on tight! I am going dow n now.
W hen I fly past the tree, grab one o f the lemons and don't let go
o f it, whatever you do.”
The prince did just as the horse instructed. W hen he came up
close to the tree, he grabbed one o f its fruits. The tree began
screaming and the giants w ent running about in a blind frenzy,
unable to see w ho was disturbing the tree!
Lemon in hand, the prince suddenly found him self back
inside the palace, where he was greeted by the young man who
was the spirit o f his fortune. No sooner had he dismounted than
the w inged horse sped away. Then Fortune said, “Slice the
lemon open with care.” W hen the prince cut tenderly into the
lemon, a beautiful girl with golden hair leapt forth! The prince
embraced and kissed her.
Fortune then told the prince, “If you were to return to your
hom eland on your ow n pow er it would take three years. So
I w ill have the winged horse take you there instead.” Then
the w inged horse appeared and the prince and the daughter o f
the lem o n tree, w h o se n am e w as G old enh air, instantly found
them selves back in th e p rin ce ’s h o m elan d . All w h o saw them
Hying o v erh ea d w e re sm itte n w ith m arvel and d isb elief.
W h e n the co u p le d ism o u n ted at the castle, they w ere greeted
by a sp len d id re c e p tio n . T h e k in g and q u e e n th rew th eir
arm s aro u n d th e ir so n and th e g o ld e n -h a ire d d au g h ter o f
the le m o n tree. T h e ir en g a g em en t >vas so lem n ly co n firm e d ,
the old king w illed his son th e th ro n e, and th e m arriag e w as
celebrated.
But the good and virtuous prince w as not appointed by Luck
to e n jo y h is beloved G o ld en h air fo r lon g . N ot lo n g a fter the
w ed d in g day, a n e ig h b o rin g k ing d eclared w ar o n th e k in g
d om . B efore the prince left for battle, he built a tall and sturdy
tow er in w hich he placed h is G old enhair, appointing a num ber
o f m en to stand guard around it. and entrusting a m aid to serve
her faithfully.
W h ile th e p rin ce w a s a t w a r, th e g irl w ith th e g o ld en h air
spent h e r days in so rro w . O n e day as sh e w as sitting by th e w in
d o w , a deep slu m b er cam e ov er her. T h e w icked m aid noticed
th is and seized th e op p o rtu n ity to pu sh h e r ou t th e w in d ow .
T h en th e m aid qu ick ly ran d ow n th e stairs and disposed o f the
g irl’s body in a deep and m uddy p o n d w h ere n o o n e w ould find
h e r. But first sh e cu t o f f th e g irl’s g old en hair and affixed it to
h e r o w n scalp so sh e could b e as beautiful as h er m istress. T h en ,
p u ttin g o n h e r m istresses’ g old en clo th e s, sh e p reten ded that
sh e w as th e princess, and n o o n e n o ticed th e fou l deed that she
had co m m itted .
W h e n th e prin ce returned fro m the w ar. h e w ent straight to
th e tow er to visit th e gold en-haired daughter o f the lem o n tree.
But instead o f th e beautiful girl he rem em bered , h e foun d h im
s e lf lo o k in g at a d ark-faced w om an w h o insisted that sh e w as
h is w ife an d th at h e r sk in had m erely taken o n a b ro w n tin t
fro m all o f th e gall that had co u rsed th ro u g h h e r vein s in his
absence. The prince sensed that his low er now harbored a terri
ble secret, and sadness dug its daw's Into his heart.
Though the golden-haired woman with the brown skin tried
to be attractive and to w in the prince's love in a thousand ways,
she did not succeed. O nce w hen he was sitting at the tow er
window w here the golden-haired daughter o f the lem on tree
had spent so many sad days, he noticed a goldfish swimming
about in the pond below with such grace that it filled his heart
w ith joy just to look at it. From then o n . he spent m ost o f his
days watching the goldfish, until the crafty maid realized that it
was none other than the golden-haired girl herself swimming
about in the muddy w'ater. And so she set about once again to
put an end to the daughter o f the lem on tree.
One day. pretending to be ill. she asked the prince to serve
her the goldfish for dinner, saying that perhaps this remedy
would restore her form er beauty. Dutifully, the prince ordered
the fish to be caught, cooked, and served to the woman o n her
sickbed. The dark-skinned girl gulped down the fish greedily,
hoping in this way to put a stop to the golden-haired girl and at
the same tim e cover up her ow n wretched deed forever. But her
mistake was to throw the fish's bones out the window. And that
very evening there sprouted on the same spot a eucalyptus tree
whose blossoms reached up to the window in which the prince
sat. and leaned towards him as i f to look into his face.
The prince felt the same love and affection for ilte eucalyptus
tree as he had felt fo r the goldfish. T his did n o t escape the
dark-skinned girl's notice, and she ordered the tree cut down.
But as the gardener raised his axe. he heard a voice say: "Strike
with care, and make sure that you don't cut into me!** The gar
dener struck the trunk o f the tree very gently w ith his axe.
listening all the w hile to the voice, which now said. "B e careful,
for here w ith in is your L a d y .. .** W hen he had reached the
middle o f the trunk, he realized that U was hollow , and out
came Goldenhair in all o f her beauty, begging the gardener not
to say anything to anyone, but to hide her instead in his house

for a short while, which he did.
The day chat the tree was cut down, the prince fell ill, and lay
for weeks in his sickbed, refusing to eat or drink. Goldenhair
cooked him a fine chicken soup and had the gardener bring it to
him. The faithful gardener tried to get the prince to eat the
soup, but he refused. The gardener insisted, holding the spoon
up to the prince's lips, hoping he would at least try one spoon
ful. Finally the prince gave in. and while sipping, saw Golden-
hair’s ring in the soup. "This is the ring o f my Goldenhair." he
cried out. "W here did this com e from ?" The righteous gar
dener told him the whole truth, and the prince’s good spirits
were immediately restored.
Then the prince proceeded to the gardener's house, where he
found his Goldenhair wailing for him. After holding her and
kissing her for a long time, he asked her to tell him all that had
happened. W hen he heard the truth, he summoned his counsel
o f twelve to call a great crim e to trial. When the people had all
gathered around he rose and spoke. "O nce there was a gardener
w ho had an apple tree w ith unusually good apples, w hich
stirred the gardener’s envy*. Instead o f picking the fruit, he cut
down the entire tree. I bid each one o f you to tell me what he
thinks about this gardener.”
The first one to stand up w as the untrue and vainglorious
maidservant, w ho didn't realize that the story was about her.
"T h is deed is worthy o f d eath ." she said, and recom mended
that the perpetrator be tied to tw o wild horses that would be
sent in opposite directions.
The prince then rose and told the people about the m aid's
wicked behavior. Their consensus was that she should be put to
death in the manner she herself had described. So the servant
girl, w ho knew nothing o f gratitude o r grace, found a fitting
end. The prince and Goldenhair spent the rest o f their days in
joy and happiness.
This folktale1' com es from the Greek island o f Rhodes. It starts

o ff with a description o f a happy royal family: a king and queen
w ho are known far and wide. They have only one child, but he
is extremely beautiful. Problems do not arise until the prince
turns sixteen and starts playing with the vizier’s son, whom he
loves as his own brother. Completely by accident, he throws a
stone down a chimney, smashing an old wom an’s cooking ves
sel, in return for w hich the old lady puts him under a spell that
grips him with desire for the daughter o f the lemon tree. The
prince begins to fret, stops eating and sleeping, and becomes ill.
This is the initial situation o f the folktale. Apparently the fam
ily was happy until their son started playing w ith the son o f the
vizier. Out o f this a story can develop. The two friends throw
stones. What seems to be a release o f harmless aggression has
the unfortunate consequence o f smashing a pot on a poor old
lady’s hearth. This image o f a pot in w hich lentils have been
boiling for some lim e gives us a sense o f what lies beneath the
royal family's superficial happiness. The hearth is the heart o f
the household, the place where meals arc prepared and trans
formative processes take place. It is a maternal realm, expressed
by the old woman cooking in her kettle. The stone falls directly
into this m other complex. Throughout the story, the prince's
m other is described as careful and protective— somewhat like
the pot, which contains things and keeps them together. Thus
w e may conclude that the pot on the low er level m irrors the
family situation above: This family is like a " p o t" in w hich
everyone stays together as long as possible and everything is
kept in the best o f order. That the parents intend to protect their
son from life is suggested in their promise to obtain the princess
for him right away— to satisfy his every w ish immediately. I
feel that this describes a family system characterized by over-
protectiveness. Indeed, the fact that the prince only began to
play with the vizier's son at the age o f sixteen suggests that his
parents tried to keep him in the “pot” as long as they possibly

could. The vizier's son is a broth er figure o f the kind that
emerges when a step forward in consciousness is called for. He
seems m ore capable than the prince o f playing out his harmless
aggression, w hich o f course results in the pot going to pieces.
How does the prince react to the old w om an's curse? He
immediately gets depressed, frets, stops eating and sleeping. He
does not dare tell his parents w hat happened, and indeed he
him self know s only that h e has to g o and find som ething,
though he has no idea what it is o r where to find It. Here w e see
how the sym biotic fam ily system makes on e susceptible to
depression whenever change is demanded. But the prince is not
susceptible to depression alone; he is just as easily made happy
— as evidenced by his immediate recovery when his parents, in
their overproiective style, promise to get him the daughter o f
the lemon tree. But the prince is not com pletely w ithout his
own ideas: He decides 10 visit the old lady to ask her forgiveness
and her counsel as to how to find his heart’s desire.
But the issue here is not simply finding the daughter o f the
lem on tree. In her curse, the old w om an prescribes a par*
ticular quality and pattern for the p rin ce’s relationship with
this feminine figure. He should crave her every bit as much as
she craves her ruined dinner o f lentils; he should be driven by a
longing for something that can never be obtained. And when he
does find the daughter o f the lemon tree, he should be stirred by
(he wish to “e at" her. just as the woman wanted to eat her lentils.
This is a very com m on so n o f symbiotic situation: Out o f an
overindulgent family system, there grows the image o f a prince
o r princess (hat “som eday w ill co m e " to fulfill the urge to
merge. This longing, w hich is impossible to quench in reality,
may be transferred on to areas o f life w here there is a chance
it may be fulfilled. I f there seem s to be no chance for fulfill
ment, depression sets in. I f fulfillment does seem possible, mild
mania may result.
T h e old w o m a n ’s curse indicates h o w com pletely the prince

is d om in ated by th e m o th e r co m p lex , w h o se present focu s is
k eeping and eatin g (and lo n g in g fo r so m eth in g im p o ssib le).
T h e sp o iled p rin ce m u st w an d er eastw ard b y h im s e lf for
th re e y ears, w e a rin g o u t th re e p airs o f ir o n sh o es. H e m u st
slick to h is path and m ay not stop to rest. After the third year,
th e o ld w o m a n te lls h im . h e w ill fin d the d au g h ter o f the
lem on tree.
For this h o n est ( i f not very en co u rag in g ) in fo rm a tio n , the
prince enthusiastically thanks the old w om an. T hen he im m ed i
ately g oes to tell h is parents w hat h e is about to do. Naturally
they are afraid o f losing him and try to talk him ou t o f it. but in
the end they grant th eir perm ission— fo r fear that, i f they d o n ’t,
he w ill fall ill again. O n ce again, w e see evidence o f their over-
p ro tectiven ess in th e black attire th ey w ear in co n trast to the
p rin c e ’s elevated m o o d . T h ey fe a r th e w o rst and m o u rn in
ad vance. O f co u rs e , they really d o have o c c a sio n t o m o u rn ,
sin ce th e fa m ily p o t has in d eed b e e n b ro k en . O n th e o th e r
hand, the p rin ce’s elevated m o o d at the begin n in g o f h is jour*
ney— his denial o f the three years that lie ahead, d uring w h ich
he w ill b e w earing iro n shoes— sh ow s how ou t o f tou ch h e is
w ith th e gravity o f h is situ a tio n . T h u s w e see th e sy m b io tic
g ro u p 's tend ency tow ard e ith er m ania o r depression. W h at is
the m eaning o f the p rin ce’s iron shoes? T hey are heavy, w eigh
him d ow n , even drag him to the ground. As su ch, they seem a
fittin g cu re fo r so m e o n e w h o d ances o n ro o fto p s and casts a
casual glance at reality. Iron is the m etal o f M ars, the aggressive
god o f w ar. A bit o f aggression, a b it o f iron w ill, seem s to be
required to sustain a jou rn ey like the on e the prin ce is abou t to
m ake , d u rin g w h ich h e w ill n o t b e a b le to rely o n a n y o n e 's
h e lp . T h e sh o e s are an e m b le m o f th is call to b e c o m e m o re
d eterm ined and perseverin g; he m ust resist the tem p tation to
flin ch fro m rea lity o r b e sw ayed fro m h is in te n tio n s, facin g
alw ays tow ard the east and the rising sun.
ThU is (he first step ou t o f overprotectedness, and is a

requirement for anyone w ho com es from such a family stew-
pot. A longing for the near-im possible drives the prince on a
path that turns out to be. for the most part, quite grim. This is
the way out o f "th e easy life.** He cannot allow him self to rest,
for in resting he would be vulnerable to regression. H ie path he
takes is very m uch in line with his temperament: For a while it
ascends steeply, then it descends again just as precipitously.
And yet he does not digress. Here w e see the strength o f this
family vessel: He does what the old woman says without asking
too many questions; he sees the matter through.
But his perseverance does not last forever; when the sun sets
after the third year, his spirits sink and he begins to lose faith.
Just then he sees the castle, his mood lifts, and he speeds (even
in iron shoes!) to the “palace o f destiny.*’ Not only is his per
sonal fate decided in this castle, but so is that o f humankind.
Strangely, the workers here neither look at nor speak with one
another. If this is the palace o f destiny, fate must be oddly dis
connected. (Contrast this with the prince’s intense connected
ness at hom e.) And when the prince is ignored— like everyone
else here— he loses faith again. The family pot out o f which he
grew provided him with a great deal o f attention, and so to be
deprived o f it now is painful.
But finally, he is noticed. A voice from upstairs beckons him
to come closer. He meets a man the same age as himself, whose
name Is, in essence, “Your Fate.” W e are reminded here that
this is a Greek tale. At least as far back as Plato’s dialogues, the
figure o f the doimoo played an im portant ro le .2* A personal
guardian and guide o f souls, this spirit o f destiny embodies the
law o f o n e's ow n nature. At the same tim e, it belongs to the
world soul, and therefore knows the future. Like a daimon, the
spirit o f fate in our tale dwells in a realm where fate is decided
and appears to know the future, for he promises the prince that
his longing for the daughter o f the lemon tree will be satisfied.
Thus we see that the prince’s tong and lonely road leads him
to an experience o f his own. entirely personal fate— to the crux
o f what he must do. which has nothing to do with what others
want him to do. He must discover his fate, and indeed he does.
I see the prince’s relationship with the spirit o f his own destiny
as bringing him yet further out o f sym biosis. And yet even
this spirit seems somehow under the influence o f the m other
complex, addressing the prince as “my child.” The spirit seems
to have nothing better to do than provide the prince with food
and a bed. M oreover, he is the same age as the prince! And
so we m ight ask how his three years o f w andering have
helped the prince work through anything associated with the
mother-complex.
As for the prince, he docs not care to cat or sleep. He only
wants the daughter o f the lemon tree, and he wants her now! A
step forward is in the making.
The spirit o f destiny then claps his hands, and a winged horse
w ith a hum an voice appears. O f course, w e know* o f such a
horse from Greek mythology: Pegasus, bom o f Poseidon and
Medusa. Poseidon was the god o f the sea. w*ho was called the
“earthshaker” when he appeared w ith his horses. He embodies
a highly vigorous aspect o f the psyche, in contrast to Medusa,
w ho petrified anyone w ho looked at her. Pegasus thus repre
sents a com bination o f an extrem ely powerful drive and an
equally strong inhibition, a dynamic that is associated for the
most part with the sky and spirit. In one tale, Pegasus stamps a
well out o f the ground that becomes sacred to the Muses. Thus,
for many poets. Pegasus has been a symbol o f creative, dynamic
energy. W e say that we are “on the wings o f Pegasus” when we
are seized by creative imagination— a power o f imagination
propelled by the power o f instinct. Whenever we are seized by
instincts that arc blocked from actualizing themselves, we tend
to sit “on the wings o f Pegasus” in order to at least realize our
selves in imagination. This can be positive, as in an experimental
or artislic activity, o r negative, as in a flight from reality.

Whether fantasy proves to be constraining or enriching depends
on how it is translated into reality and integrated into everyday
life. At this point in the story, the prince appears to me to be
seized by the creative imagination. He is instructed to sit on the
horse and blindly obey whatever the horse tells him to do. We
already know from the beginning o f his journey that the prince
has blind faith both in him self and in others as long as there is a
way out. W hen he no longer sees a way out. his trust crum
bles— which is both the benefit and the liability o f an overpro-
tective, sym biotic family system . And now he takes o f f on a
really high flight. If this had been one o f Plato's dialogues, we
would have m et w ith the spirit o f destiny in these "celestial
regions." His magnificent flight conveys the prince to a garden
with a tree bearing three lemons and guarded by forty giants. In
every lem on resides the daughter o f (he lem on tree. All are
guarded by the giants, w ho apparently do not see what comes
down from above. By swooping down on the winged horse, the
prince is able to grab on e o f the lem ons. The tree-m other
screams and the giants run around in a frenzy, but they see noth
ing. The prince has his lemon, and the spirit o f destiny tells him
to cut it in tw o in order let out a beautiful girl with golden hair.
The garden the winged horse brings the prince to is reminis
cent o f paradise, as well as the place where Hercules stole the
golden apples o f the Hcspcrides, which granted immortality.
The woman is a fruit w ho must be tom away from her mother,
the lemon tree, a separation that provokes desperate tears from
the latter. Even here, so far from the original royal court, the
mothers seem to want to hold on to (heir children. W e can see
from the num ber o f guards posted around the tree just how*
precious this daughter is. Here is another image o f the intense
protection that symbiosis offers. Nothing should be allowed to
enter from outside. Tree and fruit arc often characterized as
mother and child. In German we say that "an apple falls close to
the tree0 and that children are "little fru its." The apple tree
plays the same role in our cultural symbolism as the lemon tree
does in Greece. The fact that the prince beholds his future wife
in the form o f a fruit may be the result o f the old w om an's
curse— i.e., his mother complex— in which containing, nour
ishing. and oral gratification were prominent.
In order to save themselves three years o f travel, the couple
sets o ff for home on the winged horse. Their wedding is cele
brated with festive jubilation. This entire passage, which deals
with the abduction o f the lemon tree daughter, can be under
stood as the p rin ce's creative im agination. In his fantasy, he
makes his spouse into an extrem ely im portant and precious
creature w ho dwells in the realm o f luminaries. Sparked by his
longings, his im agination may have created an im age o f
woman that is exaggerated beyond ail proportions. The woman
w ho com es out o f a lem on has n o past; she exists fo r him
alone. He produces her magically and brings her to life. This
fantasy o f a woman does not necessarily preclude the existence
o f a real woman, but i f there was a real woman, she would have
to swallow the fact that her husband had married an image
rather than her. Despite this slight hitch, the prince's path away
from home— which has so far led him to the spirit o f destiny
and the lemon tree— has now led him to develop and adore an
inner image o f a young woman; he could, after all, have stayed
at home with mother.
But the prince's happiness does not last long. If it did, things
would have become much too symbiotic again. A neighboring
king declares war on the prince— a conflict arises (hat demands
encounter. The conflict originates with a neighboring king; that
is, the prince experiences aggression as com ing from the out
side. Now his own aggression is called into action, along with
his will to fight. Wars in general are the sign o f a failure to reach
an agreement concerning disputed claims, leaving violence as
the only alternative. But here war also implies that it is necessary
that the prince*dcparc in order for something new to happen.

The theme o f separation comes up alongside the need to fight
something in the outside world. Here we see yet another fea
ture o f the way out o f sym biosis. W hen som eone is tightly
wrapped in symbiosis (especially when the relationship seems
to an onlooker particularly happy and harmonious) aggression
is sparked am ong those w ho have no part in it. Feeling
excluded, they strike first, providing those involved in the
sym biosis w ith an opportunity to resolve their sym biosis.
However, the attack can also have the opposite effect, driving
the other party yet deeper into sym biosis. But this is not the
case with the kind o f symbiosis that our tale deals w ith, which
is filled with energy and serves as a source o f nourishm ent.
Thus it has a propensity to maintain itself. People with this kind
o f symbiotic tendency often have the energy to deal with con
flict, even if they do not particularly like to. This is suggested in
our talc in the description o f the prince's guardian spirit as a
"strong young m an."
Before going to war, the prince builds a tall, sturdy tower to
enclose G oldenhair and her m aid, and sets up a num ber o f
guards around it. The image reminds us o f the giants stationed
around the lem on tree as well as the lentils safely held within
the pot on the hearth at the beginning o f the tale. The tower
show s how possessive the prince feels about Goldenhair—
though n o doubt he w ould say he was only concerned with
protecting her. O nce again, we see the desire to conserve caus
ing stagnation and keeping Goldenhair apart from what life has
to offer. No w onder she first falls into a depression and then
into a deep slumber. Completely insulated from life, all she can
do is regress. Yet she is not completely alone; the dark-skinned
maid is there w ith her. Just as the prince has to fight w ith an
aggressive king. Goldenhair has to contend w ith the dark
maid— w hich is to say, they both constellate their opposite,
dark sides. Until now, it seemed as i f everything transpired in a
sphere o flig h c , beam y, and h arm o ny . N ow the w icked m aid

casts G old enhair in to a “ deep pond full o f m uddy w ater/* an
im age o f stagnation, regression, and depression. W hereas pre
viously she had been “ u p ” in a lem on tree , now she is dow n in
the dum ps. All o f the p rin ce's attem pts to protect and preserve
G oldenhair have been to no avail; indeed, they have caused her
disappearance at the hands o f the dark-skinned m aid.
T h e fo re g o in g se q u en ce can be view ed fro m various p er
spectives. S y m b io tica lly -b o u n d m en , su ch as the o n e in this
talc, tend to create an idealized im age o f w o m an — suggested
h e re by the g ir l’s g old en h air and the “ celestial re a lm " fro m
w hich she com es. If such an im age is actually fou n d in reality, it
surely m ust not be allow ed to ch an g e. In an e ffo rt to prevent
any d ou b ts, great m easures are undertaken to p ro tect it fro m
being spoiled by outside influences. T h e im age is n o t on ly pro
tected fro m ou ter th in g s; it is sealed o f f fro m th e s e lf as w ell,
like a photograph that o n e carries around o f a m o m en t that has
been trapped and forbidd en to ch ang e. W h en the quality o f the
actual exp erien ce vanishes, th e o rig in a l e m o tio n floats aw ay,
leaving in ten se sadness. O n e th in k s that th e e m o tio n is still
there— the dark m aid puts o n the lost g irl's gold en hair— but
som ew here w ithin on e know s that it is dead and gone.
From another perspective, w e see a m an w h o has im agined a
w om an to be the way he wants her to be. He m arried an Image
rather than a person, and he w ill not allow this im age to “co m e
d o w n " to reality; the tow er preserves her p erfection . In c o m
parison to such a fairy-tale im age as w e have here in G oldenhair,
every real w om an m ust seem like a “ dark m a id ," fraught w ith
ch a ra cte ristics that are n o t lig h t and w o n d erfu l. T h is reality
slow ly makes the vision o f the ideal w om an disappear, replac
ing it w ith a deep sadness. I think fo r exam p le o f a m an w ho
w ants his w ife to provide him w ith constant inspiration, to help
him w ith his career and d o so w ith lots o f affection and good
ch e e r. In a m o m e n t o f re s ig n a tio n , h e m u st ad m it th at his
T H R O U G H EM O T IO N S T O MATURITY ■ 156
w ife ca n n o t liv r up to his e x p e cta tio n . She hardly ever in

spires him ; she criticizes him w hen he com plains, she is often
boring , and so on.
This state o f affairs is reflected in ou r story at the p oint w here
G old enh air exists n o m o re ; the in sp irin g fascin ation is g o n e,
and sadness m ust be tolerated. Explaining that her dark skin ton e
was caused by the excretio n o f gall that sh e experienced in (he
p rin ce 's absen ce, the dark m aid links the sy m b o l o f the tow er
w ith the em o tio n o f sadness. Gall is often associated w ith pent-
up rage and spite in relationships; as “black g a ll.’’ it is associated
w ith m ela n ch o ly . But n o w it is n o t o n ly th e fe m in in e w h ich
carries this e m o tio n ; sadness “d igs its claw s'* in to th e p rin ce’s
heart as w ell. T h e prin ce d o es n o t ru n aw ay fro m h is sadness; he
seem s to take up resid ence in th e to w er and , rather than b e co m
ing ill or living ou t his d epression som atically, becom es sad as
he faces the depressing situation directly.
W h en the gold en flsh starts to m ove in the m uddy pond , the
p rin ce se e s a flic k e r o f p ro m ise in th e m id st o f h is m ud dy
d ilem m a and feels a g lim m er o f the trem endous feeling he had
fo r G oldenhair. It m ay sim ply be a g lim m er o f hope that w hat
h e has lo st m ig h t c o m e back to life in so m e fo rm . Seein g
th ro u g h th e d ark n ess, h is e y es arc n ew ly o p en ed (o n the
“ g ro u n d " and in the depths) to the ob ject o f his longing.
But fro m h e r dark tow er, the evil m aid still reigns. She w ill
not allow this existential feelin g to em erg e, and so devours the
fish im m ed iately. And yet by d o in g so , sh e gives the gold fish
the ch ance to reappear in another form — as a eucalyptus tree. A
tree is so m eth in g that grow s ov er a span o f years. C onnecting
the ground w ith the heigh ts, it d oesn 't m ove, but rem ains sta
ble; in contrast to the flsh, o n e can hang o n to it. It is also phys
ically closer to the prince than the fish; w e are told that its blo s
som s reach nearly in to his w ind ow .
K now ing that G old enh air has co m e from the fruit on a tree
o n ce b e fo re , w e suspect that sh e w ill so o n em erg e o u t o f h er
regression, that the existential feeling that cam e to the prince

through G oldenhair w ill soon com e alive again, only on a
deeper level this tim e, having undergone transformation. But
this existential feeling must be protected from the maid, w ho
wants to have the tree cut down— and protected as well from
the part o f the prince that no longer wants the feeling to com e
up, no longer wants to lose him self in large ideals for fear o f
being disappointed. And once again, the dark m aid ends up
facilitating further grow th: the gardener cuts the tree dow n,
and out o f the trunk steps Goldenhair.
The m o tif o f the wom an w ho emerges from a hollow tree—
a birth out o f a tree, so to speak— is a com m on one in folktales,
representing resurrection through the mother. It is hardly sur
prising that this m otif would emerge in this context, consider
ing how strongly the tale is colored by the m other archetype.
After all, the girl was clearly stolen from her m other (the lemon
tree); it is only logical that a regression would have to take place
following this growth away from the mother. After overcom
ing all that encompasses and encloses— garden, tower, water,
and Anally tree trunk— Goldenhair should now be prepared to
venture out into life and reality; she no longer needs to be
enclosed or in-teriorized.
In terms o f the prince, or o f a man's psyche, this development
suggests that he has enlarged his capacity for dealing with
women, feelings, and reality in general. From the perspective o f a
feminine psyche, we could see Goldenhair as a woman who was
symbiotically bound to her mother before she was "stolen" by a
man who then sheltered her from life. She sinks into boredom and
depression, to the rock-bottom o f her being, and slowly comes
back to life as a Ash and a tree, out o f which she is bom again.
The Agure o f the gardener is also noteworthy in this regard.
Gardeners are primarily caretakers rather than consumers. In
the appearance o f this figure at this point in the story, we can
see that a new side o f the prince has emerged.
THROUGH EMOTIONS T O MATURITY a 158
But I am jumping ahead to the happy ending. First the prince

must becom e ill and lie in bed. He gives up o n everything—
lapsing into a condition familiar to any therapist o f depressed
clients: A developm ent prepares itself in the unconscious,
becomes visible and tangible (without excluding opposing ten
dencies). and the m om ent the breakthrough is about to hap
pen. the client collapses into hopelessness.
In our tale. Goldenhair now becom es active for the first tim e,
showing how worldly she can be. She cooks a soup for the ail
ing prince into which she puts her ring. The ring is a symbol o f
relationship, o f being bound and joined, o f fidelity throughout
all transformations, and thus also a symbol o f wholeness. Thus
we can say that the story's final step, a new bond between the
prince and a transformed Goldenhair. was not his idea but hers.
His part was to endure the transformations, to survive the dark
maid w ithout ever com pletely losing hope that G oldenhair
would return. Now the relationship can take place on a differ
ent level, a level less influenced by the mother complex and thus
more realistic. The prince has now acquired a capacity for rela
tionship, something that only occurs when one can see and tol
erate the very real possibility that one may lose one's compan
ion. No longer docs he require the maid, who, as Goldcnhair’s
opposite, had the function o f disturbing and eliminating her
glossy onc-sidedness. Perhaps, too, he has lost his propensity
for falling into extrem es, an attitude o f "eith er everything is
good or everything is bad." Now at least one o f those extremes
eliminates itself— the dark maid. In light o f this, it is interesting
that the maid is so often described as "unfaithful,” since the tale
portrays the tendency to fall into extremes as unfaithfulness and
the prince really is keeping “faithfully" to his path.
Let us attempt to visualize once more the path out o f symbio
sis depicted in this tale. W e are presented here with a symbiosis
in which the m other complex plays a large part, providing a
sense o f bounty, nourishment, protection, and shelter, but also
creating problems o f overprotectedness. lack o f reality-orienta

tion. and unreasonable demands; the typical reaction to prob
lems in this symbiosis is depression.
T he passage out o f depression begins w hen the prince
throws stones, that is, when a natural aggression develops that
gets him out o f the house. There follows a phase o f endurance,
o f trudging through life with no regression permitted. The iron
shoes make him conscious o f every step. The goal o f this phase
is the discovery o f the spirit o f his ow n destiny, which we inter
preted to m ean b is fate independent o f what others m ight
think. This is why he has had to remain alone for three years,
plagued by a yearning he cannot satisfy.
And now he has the grand vision o f Goldcnhair. It is his task
to discover the feminine, but the searching and winning are still
tainted by the original m other complex. He is elevated, dream
ing up a lofty idea o f the feminine that he can w in for him self by
storm. Then comes another symbiotic phase, w hich ends when
the problem o f aggression becomes acute again and when the
desire to preserve the status qu o (depicted in G oldenhair’s
tower imprisonment) becomes so strong that only stagnation
and depression can ensue. This depression is absolutely neces
sary; it drags the prince into his own depths and dashes to bits
the lifeless image o f the woman he had painted for himself.
The passage out o f depression winds through the territory o f
m ourning, as the prince m ourns the loss o f Goldenhair.
Because he sticks with his grief, she comes back to him out o f
the dark pond— in another form. Thus we see that enduring the
pain o f loss leads to the transformation o f both partners and to
the possibility o f relationship.
V
■ Jo rin d a and Jorin g el

O U T O F IN F A T U A T IO N IN T O R E L A T IO N S H IP
T h ere w as o n c e an old casile in th e m id dle o f a large, thick fo r

est. In the castle, there lived an old w o m an w h o w as an arch -
so rceress. D u rin g th e day sh e ch an g ed h e rs e lf in to a cat o r a
nigh t ow l; at nigh t she returned to h er hum an form . She w ould
lure w ild beasts and birds in to h er snares and then kill them and
boil o r roast them . If anyone cam e w ith in a hundred yards o f
the castle, they w ould b e frozen in their tracks until she said the
m a g ic w o rd s that w ou ld relea se th e m . And i f a v irg in cam e
w ith in h e r d o m a in , sh e w ou ld tu rn h e r in to a b ird th a t sh e
w ould trap in a basket and lake in to a certain ro o m . Sh e m ust
have had seven thousand su ch baskets in h er castle, filled w ith
all o f the rarest birds.
T here w as o n c e a girl nam ed Jorin da w h o w as m o re beautiful
th an a ll th e o th e rs. T h e re w a s an ev en m o re b e a u tifu l b o y
nam ed Jo rin g el w h o m sh e had prom ised to m arry. T hey w ere
en g ag ed and spent th e ir days in pleasu re and jo y . O n ce they
w ent fo r a w alk in the w ood s, in ord er to talk w ith ou t b ein g dis
tu rb ed . "T a k e c a r e ." said Jo rin g e l t o Jo rin d a . " D o n 't g et to o
c lo s e to th at c a s t le ." It w as a p leasan t e v e n in g . T h e su n cast
shafts o f g reen lig h t be tw een the trunks o f the trees. From an
old b irch , a turtledove sang its song o f w oe.
Suddenly Jorin d a felt inexplicably sm itten w ith sadness and
began crying. T he tears cam e and vanished and returned again.
As h e sat d ow n in th e su n sh in e, the sam e th in g hap pened to
Jo rin g e l. T h e tw o o f th em fe lt as fo rlo rn as i f th ey had been
aw aiting th eir deaths. L ooking all around, they lost their grip on
them selves and co u ld n o t fin d th eir w ay h o m e. T h e su n was
halfway up and halfway down. Through the bushes, Joringd
saw the old wall o f the castle nearby, w hich startled and fright
ened him to death, jorinda began singing:
“My little bud with the red. red ring.
Sing sadly, sing sadly, sing sadly-
Sing to the turtledove o f your death.
Sing sadly—coo-coo. coo-coo."
Joiingel looked at Jorinda. w ho had changed into a nightingale

as she sang “C o o -co o . c o o -c o o ." A night ow l w ith glow ing
eyes then circled around her three tim es, letting out a screech
w ith each swoop: “Shoo, h o o, hoo, h o o.” Joringel could not
move. He stood there like a stone, unable to speak or even cry.
Hand and foot seemed frozen stiff. After the sun set the owl flew
into a bush, out o f which then cam e a skinny, old. bent-over
woman, w ith yellowish skin, large red eyes, and a twisted nose
whose tip reached her chin. Muttering som ething, she caught
the nightingale and carried it away. Joringel could neither say
anything nor move from the spot; the nightingale was simply
gone. After a while the woman returned. "Greetings. Zachiel."
she said in a muted voice. "W hen the moon shines in the bas
ket. let him go, Zachiel, for better hours." And so Joringel was
released. He fell on his knees before the wom an and pleaded
with her to give him back his Jorinda. But she swore he would
never have her back again and vanished. Though he called out
to her. moaned and wailed, it was o f no use. "W hat will be
com e o f m e?” he cried, and sadly went on his way.
After a time, Joringel came to an unknown village. There he
stayed and tended sheep for several years. Often he would circle
around behind the castle, but he always took care not to get too
close. Finally one night he dreamed that he had found a blood-
red flower, in the middle o f which was a large, beautiful pearl.
He picked the flower and took it with him into the castle. Every
thing that he touched w ith the flow er was freed from the
w itch’s curse. W ith this magic flower, he even won his beloved
Jorinda back.
THROUGH EMOTIONS TO MATURITY 162
In the m orning when he awoke, he began searching every

hill and valley for such a flower. On the ninth day o f his search,
he found, early in the morning, the very same blood-red flower
that he had seen in his dream. In the middle was a drop o f dew
as large as the most beautiful pearl. He carried this flower with
him day and night until he reached the castle. This time, when
he got within a hundred yards he was not frozen but was able to
keep going until he reached the castle gate. When he touched
the portal w ith the flow er and it sprang open, Joringel was
overjoyed. He then proceeded through the courtyard, where he
heard the sound o f many birds. He went on un-til he came to
the room where the sorceress was at that moment feeding the
seven thousand birds in their wicker cages. W hen the sorceress
saw Joringel. her anger flared up. She berated and scolded him
as i f she were spitting gall and poison. But she could not pene
trate the circle that surrounded him for two yards on all sides.
So Joringel passed the sorceress and walked into the middle o f
the room filled with the birds in their baskets. There w ere many
hundreds o f nightingales and there seemed no hope o f ever
finding his Jorinda among them. But then Joringel noticed that
the old woman had secretly removed one basket and was start
ing with it toward the door. Leaping after her, he touched first
the basket w ith the flow er and then the old w om an. This
deprived the sorceress o f her m agic and caused Jorinda to
appear on the spot. Jorinda. as beautiful as ever, threw her arms
around Joringel. He then used the flower to turn all the other
birds back into girls, went hom e w ith his Jorinda. and lived
happily with her for a long, long time.
This is a German folktale,1’ recorded during the Rom antic

period by the Brothers Grimm. The title itself hints at a prob
lem : the names Jorinda and Joringel arc practically identical.
This could suggest two aspects o f one person, masculine and
163 G E T T IN G T H R O U G H S Y M B IO S IS
feminine, but it might also mean that the two characters have
such a close relationship that their differences have been
erased— in short, they have a sym biotic relationship. The tale
begins with an arch-sorceress w ho lives in an old castle in the
middle o f a large, thick forest, w ho changes herself by day into a
cat or an owl but w ho is a person at night. Those who com e too
close to her are paralyzed. She changes pure young girls into
birds, whom she encloses in a basket and then takes into a room
where she keeps them as prisoners. The girls she catches become
more and more entrapped— first as birds, then in baskets, then
in a room— as if ever more veils were being cast over them.
Turning first to the arch-sorceress, w e note that she portrays
something that has been repressed. Terribly alone in the thick
o f a dense forest, she is familiar w ith animals. The animals into
w hich she changes by day— the cat and the ow l— closely
describe her nature. For the cat, a parallel from m ythology is
provided by Bast and Sckhm ct. tw o ancient Egyptian m other
goddesses w ho w ere depicted with the heads o f cats. Bast was
the good cat. Sakhmct was the enraged one. w ho was often por
trayed with the head o f a lion as well. It makes sense that cats
would have to do w ith the feminine: whenever the expression
“cat" is used in referring to a wom an, on e is speaking from an
erotic perspective. It seem s to make sense as w ell that there
would be one goddess for the good cat and another for the bad
one. Anyone who has had a cat as a pet knows how soft their
paws are until they decide to use their claws. Cats symbolize an
instinctual femininity; they like to be cuddled, but they are also
independent and unpredictable.
In ancient Greek mythology, the ow l was the bird o f Athena,
the goddess o f wisdom, war. and handicrafts. The owl symbol
izes nocturnal, prophetic, and intuitive wisdom.
One could say that the tale’s initial situation depicts a histori
cal situation in w hich the instinctive-fem inine and the spiri
tual-feminine (the cat and the ow l) are repressed, creating fears
and anxieties about falling under a curse. Yet the magical and
prophetic dimensions o f life are not only repressed but sought
after. One not only fears being cursed, but longs to be seized
and inspired. Here, we are dealing with a folktale o f the Roman
tic era. Coming after the Enlightenment, in which feeling was
“banned" and relegated to a “deep forest," the culture o f
Romanticism was one o f unparalleled feeling.
Joringel knows that it is wise to watch out for the castle and
not approach it too closely, and yet the castle exudes a dangerous
attraction. Considering the seven thousand baskets with young
birds in the sorceress's keeping, her curse must be very power
ful. It would seem that falling in love exposes one to extreme
danger, as in the case o f Jorinda and Joringel. Love really does
hold one spellbound, and here this magic is hardly in the service
o f life. Both Jorinda and Joringel have a strong foretaste o f what
is to come and are as sad as if they were visiting their own graves.
The sun sets on this scene, bringing on the night.
W hen tw o people arc very much in love, not only is the
mother complex constellated but so is whatever is socially and
historically problematic about the mother complex. Jorinda'$
and Jorin gel's sym biotic relationship leads “straight" to the
arch-sorceress, to a realm in which the man is completely para
lyzed. rigid, expressionless, and unable to communicate with
his woman. In this same realm , the girl becomes a
nightingale— a bird whose song is supposed to be sorrowful
and full o f longing but also seductive and stimulating. But as a
nightingale, she cannot be reached, and the possibility o f relat
ing to one another is lost. The sorceress is the one responsible
for the woman's entrapment as a nightingale.
Sym biotic love between tw o people can be a real trap.
Intensely desirous o f love's magic (in this case, fueled by a his
torical m ovem ent), a couple in love elevates the woman and
fashions her into a nightingale. Deprived o f her human voice—
and o f communication— she becomes both super- and subhu-
165 ■ G E T T IN G T H R O U G H SYM BIO SIS
man. Meanwhile, (he man is petrified, incapable o f acting or o f

winning back his Jorinda. The relationship is severed.
In another respect, the seven thousand nightingales in (his
story can be seen as the many “beautiful souls'* who have lost
interest in real life, like the many dreamers who fell prey to Ro
manticism's beckoning call and were pulled away from reality.19
Symbiosis yields to a separation. By means o f another magi
cal saying, Joringel is released from his petrification. In this ver
sion o f the tale, the sorceress is interested only in girls. How
ever, in another version, it is the girl who is forced to tend sheep
while the young man is taken into the sorceress's keeping.
What does it mean that Joringel goes to tend sheep? To begin
w ith, this is an activity he undertakes on his own. He must
accept the separation. Tending involves keeping the flock
together, keeping things from becoming scattered. The pro
tagonists o f folktales who tend sheep arc tending to them
selves, gathering their vital energies. This self-assembling is
also expressed in the image o f Joringel circling around behind
the w itch's castle. He seems to move within the problem ’s
circumference without getting too close to it. Tending is also
an act o f introversion; he reflects on himself and so must endure
intense grief.
Finally one night he has a liberating dream. He dreams that he
finds a blood-red flower with a large, beautiful pearl in the cen
ter. The flower gives him the power to undo the curse, an image
that fittingly describes a therapeutic process. Joringel surveys
the problem from every angle. He engages himself in a process
o f collecting his energies, attending to him self and his vision.
One day he has a dream that suggests a solution to his problem,
and which emphasizes the value o f the flower’s center.
What sort o f power might the blood-red flower symbolize?
Red suggests passion and suffering, blood, and corporality.
Flowers often symbolize feelings and eros. The red flower sug
gests the passionate feeling o f love, including its physical aspects.
and yet here it*is related to (he pure w hite pearl as well. The
blood-red flower also indicates a connection with Jorinda, whose
song to the turtledove speaks o f a bird with a small red ring.
The pearl im plies great preciousness, som ething that has
been brought to perfection. Among mystics, it is the symbol o f
enlightenm ent, the unity o f the divine and hum an realms.
Growing concentrically, the pearl symbolizes an enlightenment
that unfolds gradually. Thus the growth o f the pearl can be see
in relation to Joringel's circular path around the castle. T o my
m ind, the connection betw een the red flow er and the w hite
pearl depicts a union o f carnal and m ystical love, w hich has
fallen w ith in the folktale protagonist’s realm o f experience.
Love’s infatuation no longer need paralyze him ; having discov
ered and experienced it w ithin him self, he can now ward o ff
the w itch’s power over him.
The sorceress undid the curse on Joringel by speaking the
mysterious phrase ’’W hen the m oon shines in the basket, let
him go, Zachicl. for better hours." Though it is not clear what
this verse tneans, w e can note a structural parallel between the
m oon in the basket and the pearl in the blood-red flower. Per
haps, then, the marriage o f opposites must take place w ithin
Joringel him self before he can rediscover Jorinda.
Having learned how to " s e e ." Joringel goes immediately to
find in reality what he has seen in the dream. And indeed he
does And a flower w hich contains a drop o f dew*, the sign that
m orning has com e and the night o f suffering is over. That he
recognizes the pearl in the drop o f dew means (hat he can see
through presented reality in to its transcendent background.
Now that he has integrated w ithin him self what the arch-sor
ceress previously embodied for him . she no longer has power
over him. Even m ore, having discovered his middle ground, he
is centered within him self and thus able to rescue Jorinda. Hav
ing undergone a mystical experience, he no longer needs her to
be the nightingale for him . A real relationship can begin. The
sorceress has lo st h e r p o w e r ov er h im . as w elt as ov er Jorin da

and the seven thousand oth er birds.
T h e ta le d e scrib e s a s y m b io tic re la tio n sh ip b e tw e e n tw o
lovers. O f co u rse, be in g in love is ahvays sy m b io tic to a d egree,
but the sim ilarity o f the partners* nam es alerts us to the fact that
the sym biosis here is particularly strong. T h e story springs from
an h isto rica l e n v iro n m e n t in w h ich th e in stin c tiv e -fe m in in e
and fe m in in e w isd o m , a lo n g w ith n atu re m y s ticism , resid e
deep in the forest, bu t exercise a strong attraction nonetheless.
Su ccu m b in g to this attra ctio n w ou ld m ean tran sferrin g o n to
w om an this en tire sphere o f feelings through d ream s, exp ecta
tions. and anxieties. W h en the w om an triggers such a storm o f
feelings, relationship is n o lon ger possible; the m an is petrified
and the w om an becom es a n ig h ting ale— that is. she is robbed
o f her hum an form and can n o lon g er react as a person.
Jorin gel m ust find the way ou t o f sym biosis. Although h e has
been cursed by the sorceress, h e has n o t been taken prisoner, and
is capable o f w aking up. He m ust survive his separation, gather
together his en ergies, and reflect o n the problem o f loss and on
the arch -sorceress w h o caused th is loss. He m ust ru m in ate o n
w hat has caused this curse and robbed h im o f his autonom y. But
he m ust also think o f h is Jorinda w h o m he loved so m uch.
T u rn in g inw ard in solitud e, h e receives a dream that undoes
the cu rse by expressing the intense feelin g that h e has d iscov
ered w ith in h im se lf: th e u n io n o f ph ysical and spiritual love.
H is sy m biotic needs are thus translated in to an inn er exp erience
o f transcend ence. W h a t w as form erly expressed as th e cat and
the ow l o n an u n con scio u s level is now available as a conscious
exp erience. As this feelin g gro w s w ith in Jo rin g el. the sorceress
loses p o w er ov er bo th him and Jorinda.
T h is folk tale p ro p oses that in a sy m b io tic relatio n sh ip , th e
partner w h o is less paralyzed by the sy m biosis m ust b e the on e
to take th e first step tow ard creating th e co nd ition s under w hich
a new situation can develop.
■ Concluding Remarks
I find it striking that in all the folktales we have discussed, sym

bols o f enclosure figure so prominently. In “The W ife," it was
the grave; in “Journey to the U nderw orld,” Sina’s hellish
whirlpool, Faalataitauana’s creepers, the shells containing the
three brothers, and the many instances o f sleep; in “Redhair
Greeneyes," the son's initial passivity; in “The Daughter o f the
Lemon T ree," the several variations on the symbol o f the “p o t."
the paradise guarded by giants, and the tow er, fish and tree; and
finally, in “Jorinda and Jo rin g e l." the seven thousand birds
entrapped in baskets.
Such symbols o f enclosure, entrapment, protection, guard
ing, and safekeeping appear in most folktales, but their prepon
derance in these tales o f sym biosis is conspicuous. Tales in
w hich the m other is missing and the son must set out to find
a w om an, may have many parallels to these stories, but there,
the m o tif o f enclosure does not occur w ith such regularity.
For images o f entrapment and containment are associated with
the m other archetype. Thus, to judge by these tales and their
imagery, w e would have to answer affirmatively the question
we posed at the beginning o f this section: namely, whether or
not there is a mother problem behind every symbiotic relation
ship (keeping in mind, o f course, that mother problems come
in many sizes and shapes, and m ay have a variety o f conse
quences for the individual).
W e can see what is characteristic about symbiosis by com
paring the folktale heroes we have been studying with those
w hose m other issues are less pronounced. For one thing, the
latter have a greater capacity for aggression. For another, they

find the way into life more attractive than the way out. in spite
o f their bonds to mother. For the folktale protagonist in a highly
symbiotic situation, the decision o f whether to live or die is not
at all easy, and creates the tale's drama.
I In the four folktales discussed here. I have attempted to
describe types o f sym biosis found in various life situations
and on different levels o f consciousness. What all these tales o f
symbiosis share is the symbol o f enclosure, indicating the latent
presence o f a m other com plex oriented toward keeping and
I containing— and. naturally, nourishing as well. Also typical o f
| these tales is the way autonomy is short-circuited and aggres
sion is absent o r blunted, all o f w hich creates a characteristic
problem in relationships.
Comm on features have em erged am ong the “ways out o f
sym biosis” we have discussed, as well. These com m onalities
can only be described very generally, since in the final analysis,
every form o f symbiosis must be considered individually. Still,
we can observe that whenever symbiosis goes too far, it leads to
an expulsion. Forced separations may lead to change, but they
can also result in deep regression and even, in some cases, death.
In dealing w ith sym biosis, I find it helpful to distinguish
betw een creative and regressive confrontation. Admittedly,
there are regressive elem ents involved in nearly every cre
ative confrontation, although there may not always be creative
elem ents in every regressive reaction (w itness, for example
1 "The W ife”).
It is hard to predict which factors in a given folktale are likely
to result in the choice to deal creatively w ith sym biosis, and
which would result in the choice to deal regressive!)'. It seems
to me that this will depend on which quality prevailed during
the initial phase o f the sym biotic bonding. W as it primarily a
matter o f nurturing or o f preserving? Was it a nourishing sort o f
keeping, or one that concealed aggression? Among the various
paths to change ,ih e path o f separation from the symbiotic part

ner continually presents itself as an option. Separation usually
involves a change o f location and o f behavior. New ways o f act
ing may include a greater readiness to take risks, to confront
people, and to mobilize on e's aggression. Following the initial
separation, the symbiosis is generally transferred to something
or someone else, leading to a new separation and often a result
ing spell o f grief-work. Such a path leads to a new starting point
w here the protagonist is usually m ore autonomous, i f not yet
entirely free o f symbiotic tendencies.
Our folktales also suggest that the journey out o f symbiosis
prepares the individual to reenter relationships in a renewed
way. Though the protagonist may not have overcome all sym
biotic tendencies, he or she has becom e aware o f a rhythm,
realizing that a phase o f separation and individuation must fol
low every phase o f symbiosis.
It has been my aim in this book to examine various types o f
symbiosis and various ways out o f them, in hopes that individ
uals in therapy m ight be thereby encouraged o r inspired. I
would like to conclude by attempting to summarize these.
In "A Journey to the Underw orld through the Hellish
Whirlpool o f Fafa,” w e started with an incestuous family char
acterized by a high degree o f unconsciousness. A m other's
unconsciousness, for example, makes it difficult for a child to
get enough distance to make her ow’n choices and discover her
own identity. Such a child may develop an overactive uncon
scious and may fail to develop an ego sufficient to deal with it.
as is often the case with people with chemical dependencies.
One aim o f therapy in these cases may be to reinforce the nur
turing aspect o f the m other archetype. Yet it would be crucial
for the client also to practice autonomy at every opportunity in
order to reduce the likelihood o f the ego being swallow*ed up
again. This whole process often takes place in the transference.
Since exaggerated sym biotic behavior is a relationship prob-
lem, it is to be expected that all forms o f symbiosis reappear in

therapy as problems o f transference and countertransference.
The tale “Rcdhair Greencycs" described issues pertaining to
authority and father-boundedness. masculine identity, and d if
ficulties in relationships w ith w om en. Here, the way out o f
symbiosis involved strengthening the ego by integrating what
had been repressed (embodied in the figure o f the companion.
Redhair Greeneyes). This integration then opened up a greater
capacity for relating to the feminine. Naturally, symbiosis with
the companion had also to be resolved. The role o f the compan
ion as laid out here may be taken over by the analyst in a thera
peutic situation, but it can also be represented by an inner, psy
chic figure or a friend in the outer, social world. It seems to me
that this way out o f symbiosis is indicated when on e's identity
is symbiotically bound up with a parent o f the same sex.
"The Daughter o f the Lemon Tree” dealt w ith a depression
rooted in a family system characterized by overproieciedness.
The tale showed the psychological attitudes spawned by such a
system: an illusory view o f life, grandiose ideas, intense long
ing for an ideal partner— but also a large capacity for trust.
W ithin this general psychodynamic, depression represents a
typical reaction to disorder— as well as to hard reality. Con
versely, a mild form o f mania represents a typical response to
separation. The way out o f this situation begins with acceptance
o f a “sim ple" life and its drudgery, w hich can be made more
bearable by keeping the grand vision in sight. It is a way that
plods through reality one step at a tim e so as to gradually
"g rou nd " on e’s grandiose fantasies. By enduring the depres
sion that follows upon the loss o f grandiose ideas— and perhaps
even grieving the loss o f those ideas— this existential feeling
takes on dimension and depth, an intense feeling that can be
discovered within oneself and realized in a relationship. This
process may take place in the analytical situation w hen an
analysand finds he is no longer able to maintain an idealized
image o f the analyst o r o f him self. I f the analysand does not

“leave" (inwardly or outwardly), but instead does the neces
sary work o f mourning the abandonment o f a grandiose idea,
there is a good chance that he w ill be able to accept him self the
way he really is.
In "Jorinda and Jorin gel," we considered symbiosis in terms
o f a syndrom e o f rom antic love that arose during a cultural
period pervaded by a longing for night and dream. Under cer
tain conditions, a love affair can arrive at a dead end in which
neither partner can be w ho they are. W e also see this ph e
nomenon in the practice o f therapy— for instance, when male
analysts still under the influence o f the "old sorceress" become
"spellboun d." and female clients are idealized into "spiritual
beings." Both lead to disappointment. The folktale shows us the
way out o f this situation through the withdrawal o f the less
injured partner, who becom es an inner escort, mulls over the
problem , and discovers the fascioosuro in his o r her ow n inner
depths. This is the way out for sym biotic partners w ho want
their lover to answer their fascination without seeing its back
ground. W hile fascination may create a certain experience o f
love, it is not produced by the partner, but transcends him or
her by far.
■ Notes
1. Further methodical comments on the interpretation o f folktales can

be found in M. Jacoby, V. Kasi, 1. Riedel, Witches, Ogres, and the Devil* Daugh
ter: Encounters with Evil in Fairy Tales, pp. 40 f t M.-L. von Franz has written
exemplary folktale interpretations for the Jungian school, for example.
Problems of the Feminine in Fairy Tales.
2. "Von dem Bunschen, der sich vor nidus furchtet," from IslOodHche
Volksmarch®, Parallel: "The Boy W ho Left Home to Find Out About the
Shivers," in Grimms’ Tales for Youngoed Old. no. 4 . See also "T he Boy W ho
Knew No Fear" in Icelandic Folktales and legends, ed. by J. Simpson, pp. 122 ff.
3. C. G. Jung, "O n Psychic Energy," in The Structure aod Dynamics of the

Psyche, CW 8. par. 183.
4. W. Welschedel, SkeptiscbeEthik.
5. Handwtfnerbuch des Deutschen Aberglaubens, vol. 2, p. 1286.
6. "The Goose G irl." In Grimms' Tales for Young and Old, no. 89.
7. B. Schliephackc. Morchen. Seek und Sinnbild, p. 111.
8. M. Ninck, Wodan und GennanixherSchicksalsgJaube. p. 93.
9. "Graumantel,” in Deutsche VolksmarcheD. NeueFolge, E. Moser-Rath, ed.
10. Bolte-Polivka, Anmerkungen at denKinder- undHausmfircbmderBrtider Grimm.
11. "The Lilting, Leaping Lark." in Grimms' Tales for Young andOld, no. 88.
12. For another translation o f this fairy tale, see "The Nixie o f the
Pond" in Grimms' Tales for Young and Old, no. 181.
13. C. G. Jung, "The Secret o f the Golden Flower,” CW vol. 13.
14. C. G. Jung, Psychological Typo. CW vol. 6. par. 7S7, p. 448. Quota

tion: as "a process o f differentiation (q.v.), having for its goal the devel
opment o f the individual personality."
TH RO U G H EM OTIONS T O M ATURITY ■ 174
15. M. Mahler. F. Pine and A. Bergman. The Psychological Birth of the Hunan
Infant: Symbiosis and Individuation. p 4 4
16. Ibid.
) 7. “Die Ehegailen," in Finnuche uod Esuuscbe Matchen. A. von Loewis o f

Mcnar. ed.
18. E. Fromm. The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil. pp. 37 If.
19. E. Fromm, The Art of Loving, p.20.
20. G. Blanch and R. Blanch, Ego Psychology: Theory and Practice, part 2.
21. Teresa o f Avila, The Complete Woiis of Saint Teresa of Jens, vol. I . “Life,**
chapter 2 4 . p. 15S.
2 2. “Die Rcise in die Unterwelt zur Struddhohlc Fafa." in Sudscanorcben. P.

Hamrucli. ed.
23. Judge 13 :2 4 fT.
24. ■ 'Roiluarig-Grunaugig." in KHfdtuheMaicha. L -C . Wentzel. ed.
2 S. Cf. E. Petzold, R Achim and A. Reinddl. Elinhchr Psychosomotih. p. 1 $8 fT.
26. The Tobit story has been dated at 2 0 0 B.C.. although it is probably
older.
27. Die Tochtct do Ziltoocnheuim. Marchmous Rhodos. M. Klaar. ed.
28. Plato. Timecus 90B-90C.
29. “Jorinde und Joringel." from KHM. See also “Jorinda and Joringel.**
in Cnmim‘ Tales for Youngand Old. no. 69.
30. For another translation o f Hymns to the Night, see Bibliography.

■ Bibliography
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New York: Columbia U niversity Press. 1974.
Bolte-Polikovka, Anmerkungcn iu den Kinder- uad Hausmarchen der Brudei Grunt*.

Hildesbeim : Olm s, 1963.
From m . Erich, The Art of loving. New York and Evanston: Harper l( Row.
1956.
- The Heart of Mao: Its C oin far Goad aad Evil. New York. Evanston
& London: Harper & Row. 1964
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New Y o rk : A nchor P ress/D o u b led a y . 1 9 7 7 .
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D ied erich s V erlag. 1 9 7 9 .
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G ru yter. 1 9 3 0 / 3 1 .
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lag . 1 9 2 3 .
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Devil's Daughter: Encounters with Evil ia fairy Tales. B o sto n and L o n d o n :
Sh am bala, 1 9 9 2 .
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B o lh n g cn Series XX . P rin ceto n : P rin ceton U n iv ersity Press, 1 9 5 4 ff.
T h e fo llo w in g vo lu m es w ere used in p articu lar:
C W 6 : Psychological Types. 2 n d e d . 1971
CW 8 : The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche. 2 n d e d . 1 9 6 8 .
CW 13: Alchemical Studies. 1 9 6 8
K ast, V erena. The Nature of Loving: Patterns of Human Relationship- W ilm e tte .
Illin o is: C h iro n P u b lica tio n s. 1 9 8 6 .
----— . A Tine (• Mmm : C traiof through the Cti<l Pm tn. Einsiedeln: Dai
m oo. 1988.
----— — . ThcCnativt Leap: Psychological Transformation iknagk CrHii. W ilm ette

Illinois: Chiron Publications. 1990.
-------- . lap. laspiroiioe. « il Hope. College Sutton: Texas A It M University

Press. 1991.
. Sisyphns: The 014 Scene— A New Way. Einsiedeln. Daimon. 1991.
----— — . The Dynamics el Symbols: FaadooKalolt of Jnngian Psychotherapy. New

York: Fromm International. 1992.
Cinder on! Hamnarcken. Zurich: Manesse. 1948.
Klaar. M arianne, td . Die Tochtei des Ziiieneakaams. Morchco aas Modes. Kassel
E ricb Roetb-Verlag. 1970.
M a h ler. M argaret $.. P in e . F red , and B erg m an . A nni. The Psycbolofirel Birth o
theHaman Infant: Symbiosis and InJiridaetiea. N ew Y ork : B asic B o o k s. 1 9 7 $ .
M oser-Bath. Elfrled e. ed. Deatsrbe Volbmdirhea. NeueFolge. D ilsseldorf and

C o lo g n e : Eugen Dledertchs Verlag. 1988.
N in c k , M. Wudao und Gertmimseher Scbicl>alsflouhe. D a rm sta d t: W is*

s e n s d u ftlic h e B u ch g e s e lls clu ft, 1 9 6 7 .
N ovahs, Hymnt to the Night. New P all?, NY: T reacle Press, 1 9 7 8 .
Petiold. Ernst: and Relndell. Achim Kliaische Psychosomatik. Heidelberg:

Quelle und Meyer, 1980.
Plato. Timoras.
S c h h e p h a c k c . B ru n o P. Mdrcbca. Seelc and Smobild. M u n s te r: A sc h e n d o rft

1974.
Sim p so n , Ja q u e lin e , ed. krfaadfc Folktales and Itgcads. L ond on : B atsfo rd . 1 9 7 2
T eresa o f Avila; P eers, E. A lliso n, ed . The Complete Works of Saint Teresa of fesus
New Y ork: Sheed and W ard, 1 9 4 6 .
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P u b lica tio n s, 1 9 7 2 .
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and C o lo g n e : Eugen D ied erich s V erlag . 1 9 6 2 .
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T H R O U G H E M O T IO N S T O M A TU RIT Y

Psychological Readings of Fairy Tales

Translated by Douglas W h itch er

Originally published m 1982 as Wege ous Angst und Symbiose;

AMnghts reserved No p * l of th* book may be reproduced or

Manufactured m the United States o f Am erica

LiBAaiiy or CoaGMSS CataiOCinc-in-Pia iiCatkm Data

FOREWORD TO THE ENGLISH EDITION i

THE LAD W H O FEARED NOTHING 2

GETTING THROUGH SYMBIOSIS

JOURNEY TO THE UNDERWORLD 100

This book i$ another stepping stone for English-speaking

passed along, (hen it should com e as no surprise that a therapist

what 1 could imagine her telling a young man in therapy whose

folktales: it rem inds them o f som e "happy ending** Gospel.

Kast, Verena. The Nature of Loving: Patterns of Human Relationship,

_____________ . A Time to Mourn: Growing through the Grief Process,

_____________ . The Creative Leap: Psychological Transformation Through

______________. Joy, Inspiration, and Hope, translated by Douglas

_____________ . Sisyphus: The Old Scone— A New Way. translated by

_____________ , The Dynamics of Symbols: Fundamentals of jungian Psy­

_ _ _ , Jacoby, Mario and Riedel, Ingrid Witches, Ogres,

, Imagination as Space of Freedom: Dialogue between the Ego

The essays in this volume were first presented as lectures at the

* The literal translation of the original tide. (Editor’s note .)

folktales. W e o f the Jungian school view the protagonists o f

becom es increasingly mysterious, and it becomes harder and

Fairy (ales often deal w ith anxiety w ithout speaking about it

realized it was a human body. Unfazed, he promptly shoved the

b ish o p , th in g s in S k a lh o h had taken a nasty tu rn , they

They w ere Incredibly large, o f a size to match the other parts.

knocking it backw ards in to the op en d oorw ay. T h e m om ent the

F o r so m e tim e a fte r b e arrived at th is n e w lo ca le , n o th in g

do som e housekeeping w hile ihey w ere gone. Though he

O n e function o f anxiety is to m ake us co nscio u s o f o u r lim its.

Thus the hero o f this tale will be sent on a journey to confront

really been sacrificed— as can be seen by the ghost's obsessive

Through the ensuing confrontation, true gfowth in conscious­

What is at the root o f this eternal conflict in our tale? What

phenomenology o f the fairy world in this description, we can

death. No one*is completely immune to this attitude, which is

knowledge. In principle he knows that all is transient— at least

chambermaid-down from the horse and, thinking he held his

Her heart would surely break in tw o.”

And bound ll up again.”

calmly co m b in g and braiding her hair. Still un noticed , the king

penance would she demand for a wom an w ho would deceive

the research o fS ch liep h ack e/ Falada means “sanctified in the

confronted with perils, could remind the girl o f how it was

masculine. Our princess must have been well-mothered— per­

attitude. The shadow can therefore be positive as well as nega­

Viewing the folktale as the depiction o f a woman $ develop*

the three drops o f blood may be a source o f anxiety if it some­

nothing left'to pit against these, the daughter is overwhelmed

exist as well. I f w e speak exclusively to (he false self o f a person

N ow the true brid e begin s to co m e to term s w ith m an. She

runs out, and he goes to the old king to complain.

o f execution, ih e chambermaid indicates that she belongs to the

young woman gains autonomy. (Concerning the prince's lack

After traveling som e distance, the coach approached a huge

the princess .behind it. Finally the prince climbed up himself.

The foregoing folktale’ was recorded in Germany, though the

then informs her that he had been enchanted by a witch. Often,

_____________ , The Dynamics of Symbols: Fundamentals of jungian Psy

Through the ensuing confrontation, true gfowth in conscious

masculine. Our princess must have been well-mothered— per

attitude. The shadow can therefore be positive as well as nega

the three drops o f blood may be a source o f anxiety if it some

sivity. In (his folktale, the m other’s influence is a bit m ore sub

The encounter with the nixie portrays a man’s intense anxi

transformation to take place. A deer in flight can express a long

T h e w o m a n 's ard uous clim b u p th e m ou n tain can be c o m

T h e sun sh ines through m e. T h e sm ell o f the earth and th e for

Is passive exccpjt for his slowly dawning awareness o f the situa

Jung considered the dissolution o f this mystical participa

said. " W e belter keep ro w in g . It's to o sunny h ere. That*s p ro b

seems to me a. statement about the broadening o f his personal

responses (hat are ever-present and fluctuating in any em o

This folktale, from K urdistan,14 depicts yet another type o f sym