Family feuds are not unusual.

They happen in the best of families, even where most of the time members are
kind and loving. Occasionally something triggers one or two of the members to rebel and frequently the entire
family is affected.
While family feuds cannot be avoided entirely, they can be reduced considerably in several ways. The first is by
taking the initiative of the first step toward reconciliation. Holding on to old grudges and resentments puts a
heavy burden on family relationships, and keeps the members from “making up.”
All families face challenges from time to time. Some common challenges families face in addition to managing
chronic pain include things like moving house, separation or divorce, parenting issues, pressure at work or
school, unemployment and financial problems, illness or disability of a family member, death of a family
member, drug, alcohol, gambling addiction, and domestic violence.
Conflicts in family businesses involve more than egos and emotions. Such conflicts can have serious financial
consequences. Simple family disagreements become distractions that absorb valuable management time and
energy. More severe conflicts can disrupt sales and reduce earnings. In extreme circumstances, family conflicts
can threaten a firm’s survival. Being right can become more important than being successful. No panaceas exist
for avoiding conflicts in family businesses. And family disagreements often resist common solutions. But
recognizing some basic considerations can help reduce the frequency and severity of family conflicts. Potential
conflicts in family
fall into the following categories:
• Non-business conflicts that affect the business.
• Problems arising from dispersed management control.
• Problems with inactive shareholders.
• Problems with non-family members in the business.
• Transition problems in replacing top management.
Problems arising from personal conflicts may be the most difficult to solve.
Such conflicts often bear only an indirect relationship to business activities.
Yet they often arise from deep-seated emotions that resist rational solutions.
A problem or challenge in one area of your life can also affect other parts. Some problems can drain a lot of
your energy and coping resources. It can make you so tired that you might not deal effectively with other
stressful things that could be happening like conflicts with friends, exams, or assessment tasks. Sometimes
when we are struggling to cope with our pain we might also become a bit more irritable with our family and less
able to handle frustrations.
change or for but it has its contribution for the change. The Society cannot be called a society without its
citizens and family is where most citizens belong therefore for every change in the family- will be an influence
and be the reasons behind the changes of the society (Wethington, 1992).
A nuclear family:
The changes in the family and society might have improved and benefited individuals according to their living
circumstances but there are also many negative outcomes due to these changes in family structure. A nuclear
family was said to be ideal for the benefits of the children, both parents are responsible more emotionally and
blood related to their children therefore they would care and love for their children’s future and well being as
education and heath related issues. In today’s case; parents are not always the biological mother or father of the
child who leads to lack of concentration and observation in the children. Children don’t get the basics such as
care, love, proper food, medication and education. It can be proven in many cases where single parents struggle
to manage the family and don’t cope with problems and their children; it is not fair on the children not to benefit
from basics needs such as education, care and love. It is highly necessary and the parents are responsible for the
well being of the child that is why a nuclear family is believed to be better for the children( Bilge, 1983).

The children are also put in danger sometimes and in most cases the females are victims of sexual harassments
from their step-fathers. It cannot be guaranteed that the biological father wouldn’t have sexual contacts with
their children because there are cases where their biological parents have sexual contacts with their children.
Danger is everywhere but it is statistically proven to be safer to live with their own biological father and better
for the children’s future and safety. Not all the parents biological or not have sexual or treat their children
differently from their own, there are cases where step-fathers and step-mothers don’t treat all the children
equally and give preference to their own biological child. In the other hand we have cases were parents of
different biological children have very good relationship and remain as strong family (Starling, 1995).

The descriptions above of different changes in the family structure have given an idea of how the society is
involved with the family and how it adapts to the changes. The issues about marriages and living together where
once not accepted among the society even if the law wasn’t objecting; the society still was strong enough to
refuse others on their view on marriages. The society slowly is changed because as the elder generation
disappear or become weaker to comment the younger generation take the lead and change the society according
to their wishes and the law is also a strong asset to fight against the society. The marriage wasn’t the only issue
but there were many issues where the society would refuse to assume the change like the different race in the
family but as the members of family develop their changes in their lifestyle-then the society doesn’t
immediately reacts and adapts to the changes but it slowly learns or somehow is forced to adapt and assume the
changes( Delgado, 1994).

The current changes of gay and lesbian families aren’t completely accepted by the society but the law has only
recently approved the rights for the gay and lesbian people. In most cases the individuals would have changes in
their lifestyle and the law and religious beliefs would be against their choice. At current, religions don’t have an
impact for the law to make judgements on individuals choice of living but it usually needs a large amount of
people or related issues to fight against then the law then it conclude a favourable judgement or sometimes
against depending on the issues. The society haven’t fully accepted the gay and lesbian families because it is not
a dominant number of people whom are gays and lesbians therefore it would take some time for the society to
adapt and accept the existence of gay and lesbian families. This is how the structure of the family can change
the society, as the family changes its structure the society slowly adapts and contributes as the family wishes; it
is a slow process but at the end the society is indirectly forced to accept the changes (Starr, 1998).
How does parental conflict affect children’s development?

There are so many negative effects of family conflict on child. Most children concern when their parents argue.
Loud voices & annoyed words which parents might use while argument can make children feel afraid,
depressed, or sad. Even arguments that use quiet like when parents act irritated and stop talking to each other at
all, it can be hurtful for children.
If the dispute has something about the children, children might be think they make happen their parents to argue
or fight. If children think it is their mistake, they might feel embarrassed or even more distressed. But parents’
harsh behaviour is not ever the fault of children.

Children a lot concern about what it means when parents argue. They might jump to the decisions and think
arguments means that their parents don’t love each other anymore. They might think it means that their parents
will get a divorce.

But parents’ fights commonly don’t mean that they don’t love each other or that they’re getting divorce.
Furthermost the fights are just a way to let off condensation when husband & wife have a bad day or feel
uneasy out over further things. Most people lose their temper now and then.

Just like children, when parents get distressed they might cry, shout, or say things they don’t actually mean. At
times an fight might not mean something excluding that one of them or both just lost their temper. Just like
children, parents might dispute more if they are not feeling good or are under a lot of tension from a job or other
concerns.
What children do feel when their parents fight?

Kids generally feel sad when they see or hear parents quarreling. It’s tough to hear the shouting and the cruel
words. Seeing parents distressed and out of control can make children feel insecure and frightened.

Sometimes parents’ fights make children cry. Concern from fights can even make it tough for a child to sleep or
go to school.
What to do when the fight occur between husband & wife?

It’s essential to keep in mind that the parents are fighting, not the children. So the best activity is to avoid the
argument is, go elsewhere in the house to make tracks in an opposite direction from the argument. So go to your
room, discover another thing to do until it is finished. It’s not the child’s business to be a referee.
When parents’ fighting goes too extreme

At the point when parents argue, there can be a lot of screaming and shouting, verbally abusing, and such a
large number of heartless things said. Despite the fact that numerous parents may do this , it’s never fine to treat
individuals in your family with lack of regard, utilize cruel words, and shout at them.

At times parents fighting may go excessively far, and add in forceful and pushing, tossing things, or hitting.
These things are never fine. At the point when parents’ conflicts get physical in these ways, the parents need to
figure out how to get their irritation levelled out. They may require the assistance of another grown-up like their
family members or friends to do this.
How to make a Joyful & healthy Family?

No family is spotless. Indeed, even in the most joyful home, issues spring up and individuals argue from time to
time. As a rule, the relatives involved get what’s disturbing them out in the open and discussion about it.
Everybody feels good, and life can return to normal.
Wait until you're not angry to discuss this problem. Family problems can be very painful, especially around
family-centered times, like holidays. If your family members are arguing, waiting until everyone is calm can
help keep the argument from escalating into a full-blown feud.

 Don't discuss the family problem when you're still feeling upset or emotional. If you wait even a single
night, the intensity of the emotion is likely to subside somewhat, even if you're still unhappy.
 Waiting allows you to approach the issue logically, rather than emotionally. If you take a step back and
give yourself some time to think before dealing with the issue, you won’t deal with it so reactively.
 Approaching someone when you are angry will heighten the intensity around an already tough situation.
There's no reason you can't wait to make your point

Deal with family problems in person. We've all been there; we've all sent off a text or email that we wish we
could take back. Trying to address an argument or family problem by instant messenger or email is the worst
possible choice. In-person discussions improve your ability, awareness and inclination to filter.

 That's because tone can too easily be misperceived by electronic communication. You might not think
you sound angry, but you might sound angry by text to the person receiving it.
 Instead of sending off a text, pick up the telephone or, better yet, arrange an in-person meeting.
Electronic communication means people lose the touchstones of body language, which can convey
empathy and reduce the sting of a painful conversation.
 People say things by electronic communication that they would never say to another person's face,
which is another reason to avoid it.

Accept everyone’s faults, including your own. They say that blood is thicker than water, and that you can
choose your friends, but not your family. You might be able to cut people out, but it could cause you more pain
down the road.

 Understanding that family members have faults, but you can still love them, is the first step toward
addressing longstanding problems. Try to understand why they might act or think the way they do, as it
can be a reflection of themselves rather than you.
 Accept your own faults, too. Accept blame when you deserve it. Try not to see family issues as all or
nothing equations where someone is wrong and someone else (perhaps you) is right. Instead, try to
perceive the gray areas. Nuances are exciting!
 It can do wonders to be the first person to apologize even if you really, truly, don’t think you did
anything wrong. Say something like, “I can see you’re upset, and although this has been hard for me too,
I am sorry. I really want to fix this, so let me know how I can do that.” That way if the family member
continues the feud, at least you can say you took the high road.

Avoid the blame game. Keep your language positive when you talk to your family. Avoid using language that
puts blame on any of your family members or that feels negative. Negativity is a vicious cycle. [1]
  That means avoiding judgment words or name calling of the family member. It means avoiding
accusatory words that are said in an angry tone. Blaming other people will make them defensive and
prone to counter attacking, which will make the argument worse.
 Avoid the need to “win” the argument about the family problem. Instead, try to accept that there are two,
or more, ways to see the point. Develop a plan for solving the problem together. Then, focus on
organizing activities where you can have fun together, avoiding anything that could serve as a “trigger,”
reigniting the problem. Explore new sides of your family members and new ways of relating to them.

Keep your tone and voice calm and modulated, not raised and upset. Calmly and methodically explain your
points, but with empathy for the other person. Always try to put yourself in the family member’s shoes. Make
attempts to cool down the argument by throwing out conciliatory comments, like, “I see Forgive any family
members that have wronged you. This can be a very difficult thing to achieve. It is very hard to forgive a
person, family member or not, whom we think has wronged us. With family members, such feelings can run
even deeper.

 However, ultimately forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the corrosive nature of the dispute.
Forgiving the family member is about letting go of the past so you can build a healthier future that is
free of tension and stress.
 Tell the family member you forgive him or her if the family member has readily admitted blame for
whatever is causing the problem. Say this with empathy. It will go a long way.
 Remember that every human being is imperfect and needing of forgiveness at one time or another on
life’s journey. That’s including you, probably, at some point.

 your point.”

Method 2

Getting at the Root of the Problem

Identify the real problem. Try to figure out what is really going on. Perhaps you are struggling with health
problems or personal problems that you have been hiding from your family. Or maybe you are all grieving over
a loved one who has passed away. Consider the real issue at hand, as this will allow you to then better address
it.

 You may need to engage in some self-analysis here. Why am I hiding my issue from my family? Why
am I so upset at this family issue? For example, perhaps you are struggling with financial concerns over
how your mother is spending her money. You may then realize that you are concerned because you do
not want her to end up with no way to support herself financially, as you do not have the means to
provide for her.
 Don’t assume what other people are thinking. You need to talk to them to find out what they are really
thinking. Avoid gossiping about other people in the family as this will probably get back to them and
make it worse. Focus on causes, not symptoms.[2]
 However, a trusted family member, such as a parent or another sibling, might be able to help you figure
out what is really going on, so it’s OK to talk to them in a way that is heartfelt and designed to solve or
address the issue.

Ask questions to draw out the family member. A good technique for digging out the root causes of family
problems is to ask questions rather than making statements. Statements can feel judging to people, putting them
on the defensive.
  In contrast, asking questions softens the conversation and can draw out what's really bothering the
person. Questions make the family member feel like he or she is not being condemned. Ask the other
family member his or her ideas for making the situation better.
 For example, let's say that your sister has been really distant from you lately and not inviting you out for
coffee like she used to. You could say, "I've noticed that we haven't seen each as much as we used to.
Why do you think that is?" Or, you may try to address your mother's spending habits by saying, "I've
noticed that you have been spending more money on clothing lately. Are you being responsible with
money?"
 Make sure the questions are open-ended so that they provoke the other person to elaborate. Then, truly
listen to what the family member has to say.

Open a line of communication. Poor communication is involved in many, if not most, family problems.[3]
Shutting out the family member in question or shutting down can be a big problem. It’s hard to solve a family
problem if you’re not talking. Be the person who reaches out first – no matter how hard that is.

 Perhaps an older, wiser family member can be asked to intervene and set up a meeting or talk to the
other family member first, acting as sort of a mediator. In order to open the line of communication, you
will have to set aside your pride. Remember it takes a big person to be the first person to tackle the
problem.[4]
 Ignoring the problem while it festers will probably only make it worse in the long run as the coldness
grows between you. It’s better to express how you feel, but choose the right time and way to do so. For
example, it may be a bad idea to bring up a family problem at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
 Avoid drinking before having a tough family conversation. Alcohol can fuel emotions in a lot of people,
even when used in moderation, and that’s usually not the best thing when trying to have a difficult
family conversation.

Recognize when family problems need to be discussed. When has a family problem risen to the point that it
needs to be addressed? There are clear signs of family and relationship problems that have gotten out of control
and need to be discussed, including frequent arguing, disagreements, angry outburst, avoidance of others,
ostracizing of some family members and, in the worst cases, physical conflicts.[5]

 Some family problems can be caused by differences of opinion, such as differing cultural values or
beliefs. Parents and children may end up not able to agree on lifestyle choices and personal preferences
or beliefs.
 Other family problems stem from substance abuse, mental health problems, bullying, lack of trust,
change in family circumstances, financial issues, stress, sexuality-related issues, and jealousy.

Try to reach a compromise. Compromising means that you come up with a solution that both people can feel
okay about even if neither gets exactly what he or she wants. A compromise is a good way to defuse a dispute
or to address a family problem.

 The first step is trying to figure out whether the problem is solvable. That depends on the nature of the
problem, and what’s already been done to solve it. If you’ve tried and tried and keep getting the same
result, that may be different.
 But consider what points of common ground you have with the other person, and what points you would
be willing to give in on. If you don’t give in on anything, you’re less likely to make headway in the
dispute.
 One technique to develop compromise is for both people in the dispute to sit down and draw two circles
that relate to the family problem. In the first circle, write down everything you’re not willing to
compromise on. In the outer circle, write down the areas where you are willing to bend. Then, share the
circles.
Method 3

Addressing the Family Problem

Try to reach a compromise. Compromising means that you come up with a solution that both people can feel
okay about even if neither gets exactly what he or she wants. A compromise is a good way to defuse a dispute
or to address a family problem.

 The first step is trying to figure out whether the problem is solvable. That depends on the nature of the
problem, and what’s already been done to solve it. If you’ve tried and tried and keep getting the same
result, that may be different.
 But consider what points of common ground you have with the other person, and what points you would
be willing to give in on. If you don’t give in on anything, you’re less likely to make headway in the
dispute.
 One technique to develop compromise is for both people in the dispute to sit down and draw two circles
that relate to the family problem. In the first circle, write down everything you’re not willing to
compromise on. In the outer circle, write down the areas where you are willing to bend. Then, share the
circles.

Talk to family members one-on-one. There are some families that don't function well as a group. We've all
been in dysfunctional groups where there's a negative dynamic at play. Sometimes, this comes out when
everyone's together.

 Instead of broaching painful family problems at holiday gatherings or a big family dinner, try to figure
out who the conflict is really between. If it's between you and one other family member, the rest of the
family may feel very uncomfortable being dragged into it, because no one likes to be forced to take a
side.
 Instead, ask the family member in question to meet you for lunch or coffee. Talking one-on-one in a
neutral space can be a much better way to redress whatever grievances you have or they might have.
People will say things individually that they would hesitate to say in a group.
 Don’t try talking to the family member when you’re distracted, working on a big work project, fielding a
bunch of phone calls, doing the dishes, or the like. Instead, put everything down to focus on the issue
and them.

Call a family council. Although a lot of disputes can be handled best one-on-one, there can be times where you
would want to get the entire family together to address a problem. This approach is best if the problem affects
the entire family, rather than stemming from an interpersonal conflict with a few family members.

 For example, perhaps the family problem involves a job loss, disability, or money problems. Calling the
family together to come up with ideas to solve the problem helps everyone feel like they are doing
something useful.
 Use the family council as the foundation to develop a strategy to move the family forward in a positive
manner. More minds are usually better at tackling a problem than one is.
 Make sure one family member doesn’t dominate the discussion, and explain that anger or name calling
should be checked at the door.

Write a letter to the family member. Although electronic communication often seems too terse and
impersonal, a heartfelt, handwritten letter can go a long way when addressing tough situations.

 Handwriting is good because it's more personal. It shows that you put care and thought behind the letter,
and it seems warmer. That will make the other family members realize that you are trying.
  Some people communicate better in writing but veil their thoughts and emotions more in person or on
the phone. If you are one of those people, a letter might be the way to go.
 In the letter, you should explain how you feel and why you want to address the family issue. Use the
word "I" more than the word "you" in the letter so you are stating your perspective and not blaming or
speaking for anyone else. Explain how the problem is affecting you, but also explain how you would
like the problem to be resolved and why.

Address a family problem with a child. Sometimes your children can be the source of family problems,
whether it’s acting disrespectfully, arguing with siblings, or not doing their chores. You may want to deal with
the issue a little differently if the child is very young.[6]

 Place the problem in front of the child. Explain the problem very clearly. You might say something like,
"We have noticed that you don’t get out of bed easily, making you late for school a lot. This is a
problem that we need to solve."
 Don’t act angry. Instead, ask the child for help solving the problem. Suggest that the child come up with
a plan to solve the issue with your help.
 Give the child positive reinforcement if the child makes progress toward solving the problem. Try to dig
out the real reasons for the problem. Is the child hard to wake up because the child is on social media too
late, for example?
 Don’t play favorites with children. Let the child know you love the child and that you want to solve the
problem because you care about the child and want things to be better.

Method 4

Letting Go of Family Problems

Establish boundaries. If family members are toxic, and they are causing harm to you or constant drama in your
life, there is nothing wrong with drawing boundaries and setting limits. In fact, this can be a healthy thing to do.

 The question to ask yourself is whether the family member has brought negatives into your life, draining
you emotionally, stealing from you financially, undermining you, or any number of bad behaviors.
 You have a right to draw boundaries to protect yourself. For example, perhaps you still see the negative
family member at family events, and you treat them with respect when you do. However, perhaps you
have decided to never visit with them one-on-one or lend them money. This is within your right to do.
 Explain the boundaries to the family member in a warm and loving manner. However, be firm. Perhaps
you can't stay over at a family member's house because fights always occur when you visit, so you will
stay at a nearby hotel instead.

Know when it’s time to step back. There are some family problems that simply cannot be fixed. Some family
problems also take time to solve. You may realize it is truly healthier for you to cut the family member out of
your life for now, sad as that might be to admit.

 Some family problems, like grief over a loved one or a parents inability to accept you for who you are,
may not have solutions. Instead, you may need to accept that you have tried your best to communicate
and connect with your family, to no avail. You may then need to move on from the issue and try to live
your life the best you can.
 Although such situations are intensely personal, generally you should consider cutting the family
member out of your life if the family problem involves abuse, either physical or sexual. Abuse should
not be tolerated, of yourself or others. Abuse situations should be reported to the police or child
protective services.[7]
  Serious substance abuse issues that continue to impact your life could be another reason. You can try to
get a person help, but if they continue to refuse, you might have to cut them out for your own peace of
mind.

Seek counseling. It's not for everybody, but some family problems are so deeply felt and toxic that they can
only be solved by a professional. It's worth a try if nothing else has worked, and there is nothing to be ashamed
about by seeking help.

 If the family member in question will not go to counseling, perhaps you could go on your own. A
professional therapist can help you figure out how to deal with the family member and how to heal the
rift. Reading books on relationships also can help some people, as can joining a support group.[8]
 If the family problem is rooted in issues like mental illness or substance abuse by you or another family
member, a professional may be the only way for the family to start to heal. Some problems may be too
complex for you to solve on your own.
 A counselor can help by simply being a neutral, objective ear on the problem. The professional might
offer suggestions that you didn't think of or perceive aspects of the conflict that you wouldn't because you
are too close to it.

How to Solve Family Problems

 1. Repeat the old adage
 You know the one. “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” We’ve all heard
this saying before. You can choose whichever friends you like, and if a friend wrongs you, then you can
think about whether they’re healthy for you, and remove them from your life if you decide they’re not.
 However, you can’t choose your family. Just because you swear them off doesn’t mean they’re not
related to you. You will still share a bond stronger than anything else: blood. This means that you do
have to deal with their faults, just like they have to deal with yours. But if family is important to you,
then this is something you’ll remember, no matter how deep the rift is.
 Related: How to Argue in a Relationship
 2. Let go of your pride
 Pride can take many forms. “I’m not going to call them first, because they should call me first.” “I would
have never done that to them, so I’m not going to bother anymore.” Or maybe, your family member has
tried to contact you, but you’ve ignored them completely. Pride is important sometimes so that you don’t
get the doormat treatment, but there’s such a thing as too much. If you want to make things better, you
have to let go of that.
 In addition, no one Wins in a family disagreement (this going with #3 as well). The only winner is a
settled feud. Putting pride aside to come to agreement requires compromise of both parties usually. The
happiest relationships are the ones that are built on trust and compromise.
 3. Make your aim to reconcile—not to win
 You might think you want resolve the issue, but really, you want your family member to come to you and
apologize (or, if you were the one to wrong them, just forget the issue without a discussion). This means
your objective isn’t to make things better—your objective is to win.
 Stop thinking of the issue as two-sided and make your main objective to reconcile and remedy the
situation. This is your family, not some twisted competition.
 Related: The Benefits of Friendship
 4. Figure out what exactly the issue is
 This sounds obvious, but sometimes, especially when the issue started years ago, it’s hard to even
remember what the problem was in the first place. Figure out the root of the problem and why it bothered
you so much—or, if you were the perpetrator, why you haven’t been able to right your wrong. This will
make it easier to clearly explain how you feel without getting frustrated and defensive.
 This also includes explaining emotions tied with the problem or issue . Usually with an argument or
disagreement, it can be difficult to come to terms after the fight ends due to hurt feelings, bruised pride or
fatigue from the emotions associated with the disagreement. Take some time to talk with everyone about
the problem and emotions tied around the issue and any consequential emotions and feelings as well. The
old adage of “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words do
hurt and it’s important not to have lingering feelings after the problem or issue is long-solved.
 5. Talk to the rest of the family…
 Explain to other trusted family members what your intentions are. If you’ve followed the rest of the steps
and changed your perspective on the situation, let them know.
 Tell them that your only goal is to make things better. This is especially important if your family can be
gossipy and tends to take sides. If you communicate your intentions genuinely, this may help them stop
from being a bit vindictive and make them adopt your peaceful goal as well.
 Related: 4 Easy Steps to Happiness
 6. …but don’t invite them to the discussion
 It can be tempting to bring the entire family into it to have some back-up, but it’s best to just face this on
your own. Make sure the family member you’ve been feuding with does the same. When the rest of the
family is present, it’s easier for the discussion to become two-sided—and it’s likely to just make matters
worse and create more issues.
 This also includes talk about “what other people think” of the situation or a “he-said, she-said” feud. Just
because someone agrees with you or your side of the argument, does not mean you should bring this into
the disagreement. All that matters in the end is that everyone is at peace with each other.
 7. Be honest, but respectful
 Explain exactly how you feel—why you’re upset and how the situation made you feel. However, be very
conscious of your tone and make sure not to sound accusatory. After all, even if your family member
“started it,” you likely did some things wrong as well. Try acknowledging their feelings at the same time,
i.e. “I understand that you were hurt by my comment, and I should never have said something like that—
but it hurt me when you talked so badly of me to Aunt Sue instead of telling me.”
 No matter how defensive the other person gets, stay calm and remember your goal: to reconcile. Make
this clear to the other person, and tell them that you love them and want to move past this.
 Related: Let it Go – 5 Health Benefits of Forgiveness
 8. Prevent
 What can you do to prevent this from happening in the future? If you communicated well, you made it
clear what upset you, so hopefully this will not happen again. But remember that you family members are
human. Remember what their faults are, but don’t hold them against them—just know they’re a part of
their character.
 And remember what upset them, so you can avoid it in the future.

Many countries have experienced very significant changes in patterns of family

formation and family structure. Great Britain is one of the countries where these changes have been
particularly marked with the result that British families have become less stable . The roles of women and
men with the parents or within the family have also changed. The last 100 years have seen changes in
attitudes and expectations. Bruner, J. (1985) Vygotsk, the last 100 years have been seen in the structure of
technology, attitudes and expectations. Families are mix of cohabiting parents, stepfamilies, single parent
families, those living apart together and civil partnerships, as well as the traditional family. it was necessary
to prove that in one of five ways such as unreasonable behaviour, desertion, adultery, two years separation
with consent, five years separation without consent.

 The changes in marriage, divorce and cohabitation have contributed to the growing number of new types
of family. Two in five of all marriages are now remarriages, which makes stepfamilies one of the fastest
growing family forms in Britain. In the decade to 2006, the number of single parent families also
increased to 2.3 million, making up 14% of all families. Consequently more and more children are now
 growing up in single parent families, and in stepfamilies. A growing number of couples are also now
living apart together, often following failed marriages or cohabitations. Initial estimates suggest that
around two million people have regular partners in other households excluding full-time students and
people who live with their parents. In most cases this is due to working in a different location to the
family home or because the relationship is still in the early stages . However, women’s focus on their
career may also be a factor. As women choose to focus on their career before settling into a committed
relationship, they are getting married and having children later in life. Finally civil partnerships between
same sex couples have created a new type of family. By the end of 2007 there had been 26,787 civil
partnerships since the law was introduced in December 2005.
 Teenage motherhood is one of the most distinctive features of British Demography. Without teenage
pregnancies, Britain’s rate would fall from 1.8 to 1.68 (Coleman and Chandola, Chapter 2; also Coleman
1997). Teenagers throughout Europe both East and West now engage in sexual intercourse at earlier ages
than their parents or grand-parents. In disapproval pre-marital
 sex . Marriage was broken, little remained to prevent young people who are physically ready to have sex
from doing so. The analysis of European social attitudes data (Chapter 3; also Scott, Alwin, and Braun
1996) provides information about attitudes to pre-marital sex in various countries in 1994. In these
information ,52 per cent were opposed to men, and 63 per cent opposed to women, having any pre-
marital sex. Only a small number believed that pre-marital sex was ‘natural’ (McKibbin 1998: 296)
 For teenage men and women in Britain today, the average age at ﬕrst intercourse is 17. But whereas in
most of Western Europe, rates of teenage motherhood have fallen as teenage sexual activity has risen.
Demographically, Britain more closely resembles to Eastern Europe, where a tradition of marriage has
long meant high teenage fertility rates (Coleman and Chandola, Chapter 2; also Coleman 1996b:
23).Almost all of the East European births are inside marriage while all of the Western are outside
marriage with a large number being outside partnership as well. In Britain, teenage births account for just
over one-ﬕfth of all non-marital births 21 per cent while 80-90 per cent of teenage births are outside
legal marriage.
 In 1996, there were 44,700 babies born to women aged 15-19. Although this represents a rise over the
previous year. However, it is also the case that the number of teenage girls in the population was falling
from the early 1980s onwards and that the rate at which 15-19 year olds become pregnant and remain
pregnant .The conception rate and the abortion rate was stable or rising throughout the period and into the
late 1990s (ONS 1997d: 62). Figure shows changes in the abortion rates for selected years since
1974.There was a large drop from 1974-84 when teenage births fell steadily. From 1984 onwards,
however, conceptions have fluctuated around 60 and abortions around 35, per 1000 women aged 15-19.
The stability of both the conception and abortion rates gives few grounds for thinking that in the short
term at least . British teenagers will behave different than they have in the past. And as their numbers in
the population are set to rise over the next decade and number of babies born to teenagers (Craig 1997).
 Britain is also distinctive for its high divorce rate. Thirty years ago, there were two divorces for every
1,000 marriages. Liberalization of the divorce laws in the 1970s was sharp rise in divorce and by the mid-
1980s about 1,000 marriages ended in divorce a rate (Pullinger 1998). The rate of increase is slower now
than in the 1970s and early 1980s largely because the married population contains fewer of those at high
risk (Murphy and Wang, Chapter 4). Nonetheless, 40 per cent of marriages will end in divorce measures
of divorce per 1,000 marriages or per 1,000 population. Moreover, people are divorcing after shorter
periods of marriage. One in ten marriages which took place in 1981 ended in divorce within 4.5 years,
compared with one in ten divorcing within 6 years in 1971 and after 25 years in 1951 (Roberts 1996: 2).
Early marriage have long been understood to be strongly associated with marital breakdown. The
younger the age at marriage, the greater the likelihood of the marriage ending (Kiernan and Mueller,
Chapter 16). Between 1971 and 1996, people under age 25 experienced the greatest growth in divorce
rates with rates increasing for men and women (Pullinger 1998).
 The problem of lone motherhood is poverty. Research suggests that, as a group, lone mothers have few
chances of obtaining other than low-paid work, often because they enter the labour market disadvantaged
by their low level of qualiﬕcations (Bryson, Ford, and White 1998). The majority, however, have
young children to care for and thus need jobs which provide enough income to meet the costs of child
 care. Consequently, lone mothers in Britain are less likely to be employed than in most other case
countries and in the 1970s and their employment rate has declined. The difference in economic activity
between married and lone mothers is particularly sharp between women with children under age 5. In the
1970s, lone mothers with preschool children were more likely to be in work than married mothers This
changed during the1980s, and during the 1990s married mothers with young children have been twice as
likely as lone mothers to be economically active. During the1990s one in two married mothers with pre-
school children have been in employment compared with fewer than one in four comparable lone
mothers (Kiernan, Land, and Lewis1998: 128). Most of the fall in employment among lone mothers has
come in full-time work while the full-time employment of married women has risen with part-time work
remaining stable. People live alone for a variety of reasons. For example, living alone may be a
permanent choice and for others , it may be a temporary. While there are more people living alone at all
ages and the largest increases since 1971 have come among men and women under retirement age,
particularly those aged under 40 (Hall and Ogden 1997). The increase in solo living among people under
pension age rejects the way in which household change is some-times linked to economic change.
 Since 1970s ,the number of lone-parent families has been increased in Britain and also the proportion of
children raised in such families (Coleman and Chandola, Chapter 2). In the late 1990s, 1.6million
families in Britain with dependent children. During the 1960s, divorce overtook death as the primary
source of lone-parent families while in the 1970s and 1980s, sharply rising divorce rates and falling
remarriage rates furthered their growth (Kiernan, Land, and Lewis 1998; Murphy and Wang,Chapter4).
From the mid-1980s, however, most of the growth in lone-parent families has come from never-married
mothers as changing attitudes towards pre-marital sex. Nonetheless, there has been a substantial increase
in the number of single women who become mothers while not living with a partner (Berthoud, McKay,
and Rowlingson, Chapter 15).
 Since in 1990s, women who had never married before becoming mothers (Pullinger 1998).
 The parents who were working and busy of whole day to day responsibilities, grandparents could spend
more time with their grandchildren and develop a special bond (Weissvourd, 1998). Children and their
grandparents each were close to each other and were able to offer mutual support for each other. There
were lot of facilities on the parents to teach their children even that grand parents played important role in
this situation. This gave scope for reciprocal social relationships and joint interaction in learning and
contrasts with the role of the parents as well as grand parents in learning (Bruner, 1985). In the context of
the family, mutual trust and respect for each member’s perspective (Rommetveit, 1974, 1979) was a
important to this process.
 Government has moved away from financial support for marriage towards families. Legislative changes
have given families more flexibility to maintain their home and work lives and have a degree of choice in
their options. The public would like to see support made available to families and delivered to the service
provider and providing additional cash. In recent years the amount of money spent by government to
support families has increased significantly but it has also been dramatically re-targeted which has the
effect of shifting support from one type of family form to others. Up until 1999 the three key family
benefits were Child Benefit (which began in 1975), Family Credit for low-income working families,
‘Married Man’s Allowance’ (it became the Married Couples’ Allowance in 1990). Family benefit as it is
available to all those in employment with a low income including single people with no dependants.
However, couples and single parents do get additional credit and there is a childcare element for those
that have children.