NLP Stealth Hypnosis

by Andy Hurst
 All Rights Reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced in any
form or by any means, including
scanning, photocopying, or otherwise
without prior written permission of the
copyright holder. Copyright © 2012
Andy Hurst
Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Understanding Trance States
3. Stacking Stories
4. Double Binds
5. Being Vague as a Neuro Linguistic
Tool
6. Tag Questions
7. Embedded Commands
8. Gaining Rapport
9. Observation, Mirroring and
Matching
10. Emotional Mirroring
11. Deliberate Rapport Breaking
12. Neuro Linguistic Persuasion Tips
and Tricks
13. Conclusion
 1. Introduction

Having the ability to persuade and

convince people is one of the most
powerful skills that you can master.
Once mastered you will find it easy
to make more sales, convince your
boss to give you a pay rise,
persuade a prospective employer
that you are the person for the job,
motivate your employees to work
harder and longer or even get a
date with the hottest catch even
though they seem to be way out of
your league. The possibilities are
virtually unlimited.
One of the biggest problems with
NLP, Hypnosis and persuasion
teaching is that authors of books on
the subject always seem to shroud
the whole thing in mystery and in
many cases over complicate things.
This is probably so that you rush
out to buy the next book in their
series.
In this book my aim is to keep
things as simple as possible. I am
not going to go deep into the
history of the techniques here, if
you are that interested in the
history then there are great tomes
you can purchase and wade
through. Most authors use that
stuff to pad out their book. Whilst
some of it is interesting, you don't
need to know it in order to learn
and master these techniques. The
internal workings of a petrol engine
may well be fascinating but you
don't really need to know those
workings to drive a car.
Having said that, I believe it is right
to give credit where its due and so I
will drop in a few small details
about the originators of the
techniques being explained, that
way you can easily do further
research into the history should that
be of interest or importance to you.
Personally I don't really care where
or how something came about, if it
works I want to know about it and
most importantly "how to do it."
The majority of the concepts taught
in this book come from Milton
Erickson whose discoveries in the
field of hypnosis and hypno-therapy
are the foundation of what we know
today as Neuro Linguistic
Programming.
Milton Erickson
Milton Erikson (1901 – 1980) was a
world famous hypnotherapist. His work
was the basis for NLP which was
developed in the 1970's by John Grinder
and Richard Bandler. After studying
Erikson's work, Bandler and Grinder
developed the "Milton Model."
Erikson was highly skilled in inducing
trances in his patients so that he could
embed suggestions which would
improve their lives. His permissive
style worked within the framework of
the patients own beliefs which
contrasted with the psycho analysis of
the day which was far more
confrontational.

You are going to discover how to

induce trance states in people in an
unnoticeable way so that they
become receptive to your
instructions and commands.
We will be explaining the use of
powerful techniques such as double
binds, embedded commands, tag
questions, pacing and leading, and
more. You will learn about trance
states, what they really are and
how to induce them in people.
The methods presented here can be
used to bring about outcomes that
are of benefit to both you and the
person you are persuading, but the
power is ultimately in your hands. I
can only suggest and advise that
you use it wisely.
My other aim is to show you how to
do this without spending hundreds
of pages going into unnecessary
detail. One of the main reasons
people fail with the use of NLP is
because it seems way more
complicated than it really is.
 2. Understanding Trance States

There is a general
misunderstanding among the
uninitiated as to what a trance-
state actually is. Too many
Hollywood movies involving evil
men swinging watches and turning
people into robots who will do
anything the hypnotist orders have
bought much of this misnomer
about.
In reality you fall into a trance state
naturally several times every day.
Although the term 'trance' is
something we naturally associate
with stage hypnotists or the stuff
from movies it is in fact a normal
state of limited conscious
awareness.
Have you ever been in a meeting or
lecture and you find your mind
wandering off? Maybe you've been
in that situation and then someone
has asked you a question and you
have instantly snapped back to
reality. Often when you snap back
to full attention you won't even be
able to recall what it was you were
thinking about just moments ago
while your mind was wandering.
This is a mild form of the trance
state.
You can detect when are in one of
these trance states if your attention
is limited and your thoughts have
become repetitive. When you reach
the state of deep trance your
attention will become so limited
that your focus is only on one thing
and everything else your
environment has become irrelevant
and shut off to you.
Many cultures and belief systems
practise meditation and often use
the chanting of a mantra which is
usually the repetition of a single
word or sound in order to focus the
mind. This process helps induce a
deep trance state.
Another common place example is
when you have a song stuck in your
head and you can't help singing it
over and over. This too is an
example of a trance state.

Media use of trance states.

Trance states are used all the time
in television and radio
commercials. If you've watched a
commercial and noticed them
repeating actions or phrases then
you have witnessed them using
trance states. The idea is that your
attention becomes limited and
overloaded at the same time, you
become highly suggestible while in
this state and ultimately your mind
takes the path of least resistance
and accepts what they are telling
you or commanding you to do.
The use of repetition causes your
mind to enter into a tight loop.
After a little time your mind accepts
this and starts to believe that this
tight loop is normal. Once induced
you will probably feel that you
cannot make ordinary conscious
decisions but in reality the
conscious part of you is in trance.
When someone is in a the trance
state they are susceptible to having
commands embedded directly into
their subconscious. But it is
surprising how light that trance
state can be for this to be possible.

The path of least resistance

Before we get into some of the
techniques there is one more
concept that should be explained.
Most hypnotic inductions and
indeed NLP trance inductions work
on confusing the brain and then
giving it a command (a way out of
the confused state) which it will
choose to take because its easy.
This is the path of least resistance.
Stage hypnotists and hypno
therapists often use a "pattern
interrupt" to get someone into a
trance state. Maybe you've seen
the stage guys who go to shake
someones hand and part way
through the handshake they
suddenly jerk the persons arm and
loudly command "sleep". When this
works it looks amazing which is why
stage hypnotists like to use it.
What is actually happening here is
a handshake begins, we know what
a handshake is, what happens, etc.
So we don't consciously follow the
process. If someone extends their
hand for a hand shake we
instinctively reach out to shake
hands and we are now into a pre
programmed pattern.
Our mind is expecting the normal
few seconds of shaking and release
while exchanging some
pleasantries.
If the hypnotist has rapport with
the person (trust) and then breaks
this pre-programmed pattern with
something unusual the brain begins
to go into a panic. The
subconscious mind that is dealing
with the hand shake procedure has
become confused because the
normal pattern has been
interrupted (thus pattern-
interrupt). When the hypnotist
gives a strong command the easiest
thing for the confused mind to do is
to accept the command.
It's like the mind needs a way out,
it has become dumped in unfamiliar
territory and is looking for an
escape route. When someone the
person trusts or has rapport with
gives them a way out the mind
takes it.
As we get into the techniques of
stealth or covert hypnosis using NLP
you will see this method employed
in a verbal and less direct manner
and when you do you will
understand what is going on and
why it works.
 3. Stacking Stories

Possibly the most powerful and

persuasive technique in NLP is
known as "the nested loop" which
was invented by Milton Erikson.
This induces a trance state without
having to declare that you intend to
do so. There's no swinging
watches, jerky handshakes or
clicking of fingers but instead
involves the telling of a series of
simple stories in a normal, natural
tone. But these stories are nested
within each other or "stacked."
This technique is at its root a
pattern interrupt because we are
pre-programmed to understand that
a story has a beginning, a middle
and an end. So if we break that
pattern by telling a story and before
the end of the story we start
another story within that story, and
then before that one ends we do it
again and we repeat this to five
levels deep the person who you are
telling the story to is going into a
trance state because the pattern
they were expecting isn't being
followed. Also as you open up each
new story their mind is trying to
keep focus on the previous stories
and the new one you've started,
this tight focus draws them deeper
into the trance state.
You can use this technique in any
situation where you want to
persuade someone without being
obvious about it. You could apply
this next time you are asking your
boss for a raise or you want to
motivate an employee to do
something. It's even possible to
use nested loops in written
communication to persuade the
reader to take action.
Here is how it works; You are
going to engage in the telling of a
story. You will have five stories that
you know are of interest to your
audience. It's important that your
audience will be interested enough
that they pay close attention.
You are going to open each of these
stories one after the other and on
the final story you are going to
include your suggestion and then
close out the loop.
This technique is highly effective for
several reasons. Firstly the person
is concentrating on the content and
the details of the story which
naturally causes their mind to drift.
When you reach the fifth story they
will be fully receptive to hypnotic
suggestion. Secondly the use of
stacking five stories serves to
overload the brain. Our brains will
naturally look for completion, but
because one story moves into the
next the brain cannot make this
completion, and because we
compound this with further
unfinished stories the brain soon
becomes receptive to suggestion
because it is searching for a way
out of the loop.
Because you're not outwardly
showing signs of "hypnotizing" the
person there is no reason for them
to be on their guard and therefore
they are naturally more open to
your suggestions.
Finally the subconscious wants to
close out the loops. When you
close out the last loop in the final
story it's expecting all of the loops
to be closed out. You now follow
this by closing out the remaining
loops and their brain is satisfied.
So the brain allows all of the
information including the
suggestion and the story to sink
into its subconscious. It's become
less concerned with the details and
content of the story and more
concerned with closing out the
loops.
The Method

Step One : Decide What You

Want
Decide what it is you wish to
achieve. What is the outcome that
you want? For example; a raise, to
make a sale, etc. You are not
trying to set your specific
suggestion yet just identify the
outcome that you want to achieve.
Step Two : Evaluate Your
Audience
Are you dealing with a group of
people or an individual? What are
their needs and motivation? Ask
yourself what stories are going to
be the most appealing to your
audience.
This gives you a framework for the
stories you choose to tell. Also
determine whether you are in
rapport with them yet. If not you
may need to go through the rapport
exercises in this book first.
Step Three : Select Your
Suggestion
Once you have determined the
outcome you can decide on the
suggestion that you are going to
embed. When you first start using
this it's wise to only implant a
single suggestion but as you
become experienced you can
embed multiple suggestions in the
one set of stacked stories. If for
example you were asking for a
raise you might use the suggestion
“I know that you value hard work,
and that you want to see it
rewarded, don't you?”
Step Five : Develop Your
Stories
Now you have to develop the
stories that you intend to use. It's
vital when you are developing them
that you don't use stories that
involve your audience. This is
because people have their own
memories of the story which could
conflict with the version you are
telling. So be sure to use stories
from your own past that will be
interesting. The story MUST be
interesting to maintain the
attention of your audience long
enough to have the suggestion
embedded into it.
The physical length of the story isn't
important, what is important is that
the main point is interesting.
Practice telling your stories ahead
of time and look for ways in which
the delivery of these stories can be
improved so they are more
entertaining.
Step Six : Begin Your Story
You need to avoid being
interuppted when you tell your
stories so it's a good idea to let
your audience know that you are
about to tell a story. You might,
for example say “Did I ever tell you
the time..”
There are key phrases that we
automatically associate with
someone starting to tell a story,
things like "I remember once I
was..." It is phrases like this that
indirectly signal to your listener that
they should be quiet and listen to
your story.
Step Seven : Telling the Stories
Now you will tell the stories in the
order you decided. You must know
which story you are going to tell
and the sequence you will tell them
in so that the segue into each is
smooth and conversational. As
your story comes to an end you will
use a cue point to move into the
next story. What is vital here is that
you don't close out the story but
instead divert into the next story
without finishing the one you were
on.
My preferred methods of segueing
is to use phrases like “By the way..”,
"That reminds me...", "And he told
me about a time when..."
For instance, if you were telling a
story about how you used to climb
trees when you were a boy and one
time you got stuck in the tree and
were shouting for help and you
could see in the distance a police
man, by the way did I tell you
about when I got stopped by the
police in my car..." The first story
didn't finish but you have moved
smoothly into the next one.
Step Eight : Embedding Your
Suggestion
When you get to midway through
the fifth story you are going to drop
in your suggestion. You need to do
this naturally so that it goes
unnoticed and continue on with the
story. The persons mind is
overloaded from the previous
stories and will no longer be
analyzing the content of what is
being implanted into their
subconscious.
Step Nine: Close Out All The
Loops
Finally you are going to go back
through the stories closing out all of
the loops. The subconscious mind
needs to be satisfied that all of
these loops are closed so that it can
accept all of the content that was
within them including the
suggestion. You basically start with
closing the final story and work
backwards closing the forth, the
third, the second and finally the
first.
You can do this all quite quickly but
at the same time there is no rush,
and sometimes a more gentle,
slower closing of the loops will be
more effective as the subconscious
is gently released from the state of
confusion.

Story Stacking Summary

The use of stacking stories or
"nested loops" is such a
fundamental technique and one you
will rely on time and time again to
covertly persuade people that you
really take time working on a
selection of stackable stories that
you can use. Once you have a
pattern of five you can use the
same ones and embed almost any
command. You will also discover as
you become practised that it's as
easy to drop two or three
embedded commands in as it is to
do one.
I remember when I was first
introduced to the idea of nested
loops, I was at a hypnotic training
session run by Conan Wilson who is
really a stage hypnotist but he also
had a therapy side to his business
and Conan told us about when he
treated a lady who was having
trouble sleeping but she was
nervous about coming to a hypno
therapist because it conflicted with
her religious beliefs, which is
something you will come across
from time to time because a lot of
western religions are based on a
deity and have written scriptures or
holy texts, in fact I can recall I was
once doing a hypnosis
demonstration at a gala event and
a vicar came up and I knew that a
lot of ministers in churches had an
issue with the hypnosis thing and I
wondered if he had really just come
up to make a point or cause me
some kind of trouble - if you've ever
done stage hypnosis you'll know the
last thing you need is someone
deliberately trying to mess with the
show either on religious grounds or
because they are heavily under the
influence of alcohol which is why it's
important to learn all you can about
dealing with subjects who come
forward to be hypnotized at a show
and one of the things you should
master is the ability to story tell,
but if the person is too drunk you
should send them back to their
seat.
Anyway the vicar on this occasion
wasn't causing trouble and we
actually had quite good fun with
him as a subject. But as I was
saying you will come across
religious people whose scriptures
forbid hypnosis because they
consider it to be allowing
themselves to be under the control
of someone or something other
than their God.
Anyway this woman was concerned
about this and Conan explained
how he used the NLP technique of
nested loops on her to get her into
a trance state and embed ideas into
her subconscious that resolved her
sleep problem. But that training
with Conan got me to understand
the entire concept of nested loops
and I hope after reading this you
will have a good understanding of
how they work too.
And if you haven't already noticed
the last three paragraphs contain a
nested story with the embedded
suggestion that you should study
and learn the nested loop
technique.
Now to be fair this technique isn't
really for use in print as I've
described it, although it can be
used in sales copy quite successfully
with a few minor tweaks - but NLP
in the written form is a whole other
book.
Just bear in mind that if I had
delivered that in spoken format it
would have been more
conversational and I could have
used tone and pauses to emphasize
the embedded command on a
subconscious level. More on that
later.
 4. Double Binds

Long before I came into NLP I learnt this

technique in sales training. Back then I
worked for a company selling electrical
goods and one of the old master sales
guys who used to outperform everyone
on the sales floor became a mentor to
me. I was 17, fresh out of school and
thought that selling was just taking the
money off people at the cash register.
"Big Mike" as he was known gave me
my first lesson in closing a sale, a
technique that I later discovered was a
core skill of NLP practitioners and one
that Milton Erikson was a genius at
using.
The double bind give the illusion of
choice to a person. In reality it is
limiting their choice to one of two
outcomes, either of which are acceptable
to the persuader.
A common example of this is “Would
you like to pay by credit card or cash?”
In this question there is a presupposition
that the person wants to purchase the
product. But by asking this question you
are suggesting that they have already
accepted to buy and in the majority of
cases that person will answer with one
of the two choices you have given them.
And in this case either choice results in
a sale.
In our house we used to always have the
kids kick off about doing chores and
helping around the house. When I taught
my wife to ask double bind questions
like “When will you clean the dishes,
before or after you have done your
homework?” We soon found the
tantrums and arguments that used to be
common place pretty much vanished.
Again this again presupposes that they
have accepted to do the chore. As long
as they make a choice one way or the
other they will have subconsciously
accepted the fact that they need to do it.
Milton Erikson made use of the double
bind when he was working with his
therapy patients. He would use
statements like “I don't know whether
your make this change immediately, or
within the next week.” Here we can see
there is a presupposition that the person
will make a change. This is far more
effective than telling them “You will
make a change.” Because in the case of
the latter the patient can simply dismiss
it or "say no" to it.
5. Being Vague as a Neuro Linguistic
Tool

Our brains are incredible devices

that automatically fill in gaps and
try to make sense out of whatever
is being said. But what is
interesting is that we will naturally
try to construe meaning and make
sense of what is being said even if
it appears to be nothing more than
nonsense.
Being vague can be a highly
effective technique in our toolbox
when it comes to persuading
people. It causes the listener to fill
in the gaps themselves and they fill
this space with whatever meaning it
is they want to take from what it is
that you are saying.
When you reduce specificity in the
language and make it even more
vague it allows the same statement
to become acceptable to different
people even if they bring
completely different belief
structures to the conversation.
When dealing with people with
strong beliefs this is especially
important because you can't
command someone to do
something that contradicts their
own moral code or belief system
but if what you are saying is
apparently in harmony with what
they believe then they will readily
accept the suggestions you are
embedding in what you say.
The language of vagueness is used
by lots of people. You will notice it
the most in politicians, marketers
and clairvoyants but it can be
implemented by anyone who
wishes to place people into a state
where they can be easily persuaded
to take the desired action.
Take for instance a statement like
“We all have our problems” is so
obviously true that we can easily
agree to it. If you open with a
statement like this you will
immediately have the person you
are talking to begin to agree with
you. From that point it is a short
step to persuasion.
If I personally hold the belief “We
all have our problems but they our
responsibility alone to deal with”
and I tell this to someone who
holds the belief that “We all have
our own problems but it is the
responsibility of the group to help
us deal with them.” Then
immediately I am going to
encounter resistance to the point I
am making.
But by being deliberately vague I
enable my audience to put their
own interpretation of that on top of
my statement. Imagine how
effective this is if you are a
politician and you wish to convince
a large audience of people to your
view point and you don't know what
beliefs they bring with them.
Another reason that vagueness is
highly effective is that it enables
your audience to find their own
answers and because they've come
up with these answers by
themselves they are more deep
rooted and long lasting. Think of
your role as a guide whose job it is
to lead them towards finding these
answers through the vagueness of
your language.
Being vague also gives the illusion
of control to your audience. They
feel as if they have a choice but you
are in fact guiding them down the
path you wish them to go. You say
a fairly obvious example of this with
the “double bind” but it can be used
in many ways to seemingly allow
control.
 6. Tag Questions

Tag questions are a common part of

our everyday conversation but they
are deceptively powerful. When
used with the purpose of persuasion
they can be almost impossible to
resist because they positively
reinforce what has been said.

Examples of Tag Questions

include:
• Isn't it?
• Haven't you?
• Can't you?
• You know?
• Don't you know?

These tag questions are added to

the end of a sentence in order to
invite reception to your ideas. Here
are some examples of tag questions
used in conversation:
It's easy, isn't it?
He is a professional, isn't he?
You're very relaxed, aren't you?
You've heard that before, haven't
you?
Try using these tag questions in
your day to day conversation and
observe the person that you are
talking to carefully. You will notice
that they nod their head in
agreement and best of all they do it
even if they didn't completely
understand the statement that
preceded the tag question.
So why are tag questions so
effective?
In order to persuade someone we
must induce in them what John
Grinder referred to as the “yes”
set. This is where the recipient as
a receptive state of mind to what
we are telling them.
A common way of doing this is by
making observations that are
obviously true and thus be agreed
with. When the other person starts
to agree with you on these
statements it will help to develop a
level of trust between you.
An example of an observational
statement would be “You have
come here for help.” or “You are
feeling stressed.” When a tag
question is added to these
statements such as “You have come
here for help, haven't you?” The
receptive state is more deeply
created.
When delivering a tag question it is
important to get your tone right.
You do not want to use a rising
tone as you would usually do with a
question at the end of a sentence,
instead you are aiming to deliver
the question using a lowering
command voice.
You can use these tag questions to
ensure that the person you are
talking to is following your
commands. For example “You do
understand, don't you?”
If you want to install a belief in
someone it is far more powerful to
use a tag question that it is to
make a simple statement. For
instance; “You are feeling relaxed”
is different to saying “You are
feeling relaxed, aren't you” or “You
are confident. aren't you?” is way
more effective than simply stating
“You are confident."
Because you are forcing the person
to acknowledge and agree with the
statement they must accept it as
being a fact. Instead of being told
that they are relaxed or confident,
they are agreeing that they are.
Tag questions are one of the easiest
NLP techniques to practise because
you can start using them in your
own every day conversations.
 7. Embedded Commands

We touched on this when we

discussed nested loops, but it is
important to be clear on what
embedded commands are and how
to use them effectively, and
because they can be used in their
own right and not just in the
construct of a nested loop I am
giving them their own little section
in this book.
An embedded command is where a
sentence is constructed so that your
desired outcome is contained within
it.
In order to embed a command you
should first think about command
that you wish to give to the person
who you are talking to. For
example if you wanted people to
register for your email course then
the command word would be
register.
As with tag questions it is critical to
get the tone right when you deliver
an embedded command. When you
say the command word as you must
drop your voice down as you say
the word so that it is taken as a
command. If you raise your voice
at the end of the word it will appear
to be a question.
Here is an example of we can
embed the word register into a
sentence:
You can - register - right now for
our three day coaching course and
receive the benefits sooner.
When embedding a command you
want to choose less than five words
at a time to embed.
Commands are almost always given
as short, sharp statements like
“Stop that” or “Help me” and the
rhythm of your speech is very
important.
When Milton Erikson talked he
would use a monotone and evenly
paced voice but when offering a
command he would pause briefly,
then offer the command, pause
again and then continue talking
again.
The subconscious is constantly
looking for patterns in speech and it
differentiates between regular
speech and when it is being given a
command. When you use a
command embedded into your
conversation it will not be noticed
by the conscious mind but
unconsciously they will be aware of
what it is you have told them to do.
When you are speaking use your
normal pacing for your
conversation. We all have our own
speech speed and it doesn't matter
if that is slow or fast, what matters
is the consistency.
When you offer the embedded
command simply alter your speed
so that you are either talking faster
or slower. This causes the pattern
to be interrupted (remember
pattern interrupts) by the recipient.
 8. Gaining Rapport

Before you can persuade anybody

of anything you must first develop
rapport with them.
Rapport refers to a state where you
have a two way connection
between the two parties.
In order to have rapport with
someone they must be comfortable
communicating with you, regardless
of any differences that you might
have.
If you want an fantastic example of
where someone doesn't have a
rapport watch one of the political
panel shows on television which
brings together two members of
opposing political parties to debate
hot potato issues.
These people will often be shouting
at each other to get their opinion
across. But they aren't really
listening to what the other person is
saying. They are just waiting for
their chance to speak. This is a
classic example of when people are
out of rapport with one another.
And have you noticed that at the
end of those shows neither side is
convinced of the others opinion and
if anything they are even more
deeply entrenched in their own
opinions than they were when they
began.
All of your communication needs to
be made with the desired outcome
in mind. You should know what you
want to get out of the conversation
and then use the tools of NLP to
achieve those outcomes.
When you communicate with
someone the responsibility to
communicate effectively is on you.
It is irrelevant whether you like the
person, and even if their way of
communication is completely
different to your own it is your
responsibility to change the way
you communicate in order to build
rapport.

Just remember: Building

rapport is the stepping stone to
persuasion.

The remaining sections of this book

are going to discuss the key
techniques in establishing and
building rapport.
 9. Observation, Mirroring and
Matching

This is really the first step to

building rapport and is also the step
that most people get wrong. Most
of us are not naturally good
observers, when we get in a
conversation we tend to put most of
our energy into what we want to
say. But if you want to build
rapport so you can communicate
effectively and in turn persuade
others to give you what you want -
you must concentrate on how the
other person communicates.
You should go into the observation
stage understanding that no two
people are the same. We each
have our own unique ways about us
when we communicate. You should
observe the other persons ways
carefully so that you are able to
replicate them.

You need to understand what is

important to the person that you
are talking to. Take the example of
a car sales person. The sales
person needs to understand what it
is about a car that is important to
their prospective customer. If they
assume that the person is
concerned with the cars
performance when really what they
are interested in is reliability and
safety and they attempt to sell the
car on its performance they will lose
a sale and a customer.

It is always important to
understand what motivates them.

Also observe the way that they talk,

are they detail orientated or they a
big picture sort of person? Once
more you are picking up clues as to
how you should deal with them. If
they are focused on the details then
you should be to, if they don't seem
interested then you will want to
skip these details as well.
Listen out for any key phrases that
the person uses in their speech.
Then try and integrate these key
phrases back into your own
speech. You are not trying to
imitate them but you are looking to
borrow from their language and
word patterns. Listen out for their
favourite words, the ones they use
repetitively. They are almost
certainly unconscious of these
words themselves but if you
observe them carefully you should
be able to pick up on them and use
them yourself.
By observing the other person we
are able to begin "mirroring and
matching" which is the technical
jargon NLP'rs give to "copying the
other person."

We use mirroring and matching to

naturally replicate the actions of the
other person so as to build rapport.
This matching and mirroring should
include matching their body posture
and their gestures. It should also
include matching their breathing
rates. It also goes as far as
matching their energy level.
If you are the sort of energetic
person who is bouncing all over the
place you might think that this will
be inspiring for a person who is
more restrained. However the fact
is you will not be in rapport with
this person. You need to “Turn
down” your energy levels to match
the other person.

Should the person realise you are

trying to mimic them then chances
are they will feel like they are being
mocked and you will fall out of
rapport. You need to be subtle
which means you should create
rapport in steps. If you do this
naturally then there is little chance
that the other person will notice
how you have changed your own
actions.
Mirroring Body Language

Mirroring body language should be

the starting point for building
rapport. It is also the easiest to
mimic without getting noticed
because most people are
unconscious of their own body
language and so with practice it is
not difficult to match them without
being noticed.

Start off with simple things like how

the person is holding themselves,
do they have their hands crossed or
are they by their sides. If they are
sitting down are their legs folded or
unfolded. You should try and mirror
this body position yourself.
Next notice how they are breathing.
If you can match someone’s
breathing you will be able to build
rapport on a very instinctual level.
Are they are breathing deeply or
are they breathing shallowly? Are
they breathing fast or slowly? Look
to their neck and chest for an
indication as to their breathing
habits and try breathing in unison
with them.

Vocal Matching
Everyone has their own unique way
of speaking; some of us talk slowly
and some speak very fast. Some
have a very low pitch to their voice
and others have a high voice.
When we match the tone, pitch and
speed of someone else's voice we
will be in a greater degree of
congruence with that person.

To see how key this is, think think

for a moment about this scenario:
A quiet spoken person who talks
slowly and calmly goes to purchase
a car from a fast talking and
excitable car salesman. How likely
do you think it is that the quiet
spoken person will feel comfortable
in the company of the fast talking
car salesman? Not very
comfortable at all. I think it's pretty
unlikely a sale will be made.
Now consider what would happen if
the salesman noticed, observed and
listened to the way that this person
talked. They can now slow down
their own voice and adjust their
tone making it a little softer to
match. The person who was
looking at buying the car would
have felt more comfortable and
would thus have been more
receptive to a sale.
When having a conversation with
someone for the first time, don't
just notice what they say but take
careful note of how they say it.
Begin to match their vocal
patterns. One of the reasons a lot
of people don't think vocal matching
works for them is that they don't
observe enough and they only pick
up on the very broad and general
aspects of a persons speech.

This takes time to develop as a skill

so don't worry if it feels a little
difficult at first.

Being good at voice matching is a

very powerful tool because unlike
body matching you can also using it
when you are talking on the phone.
If you have a job that is phone
based you should make learning
and mastering voice matching a
priority.

You can improve your voice

matching abilities by taking
opportunities when you are meeting
someone that you already feel
comfortable around such as a friend
and experiment with it.

Observe how they talk then match

the speed at which they are talking
and the tone of their voice. Once
you feel that you have reached an
approximation of the way that they
are talking notice whether or not
your communication seems to be
improving.
Also experiment with mis-matching
your voice and speech pattern.
Does this disrupt the
communication and do you feel like
the barriers to communication have
been increased?
 10. Emotional Mirroring

Emotional matching is possibly the

trickiest concept for most people to
grasp simple because it is totally
contrary to the way that we are
taught to deal with people.

If someone is aggressive we are

taught to be calm in order to calm
them down, but if do that we are
not in synchronicity with that
person and you will find it hard to
build rapport which we know is the
key to persuasion.
So if someone is agitated and
talking quickly you would match this
with your own tone and the way
you act. By matching their
emotional state you are
acknowledging that their emotions
are valid. Be careful not to come
across as if you are pandering to
them. You need to demonstrate
that you relate to the emotional
state they are experiencing and
that you are not judging them.
This is especially true of people
who are under stress or who are
angry. They expect to have these
emotions confronted but when you
match these emotions you will
demonstrate that you understand
how they are feeling and why.
By emotional matching you can
defuse an angry customer or bring a
resolution to the most heated
arguments quickly and effectively.

Once you've established that you

are receptive to their emotional
state you can move towards
persuading them towards resolving
the problem. It's a good idea to
use a tag question here as it will
make your command seem less
aggressive.
The other person must feel as if
you're working towards the same
goal and that you are working
together. They should not feel as if
they are being instructed. You
could say for example something
like “I'm sure that you want to
explain this to me, don't you?” if
you want them to explain
themselves more clearly.

From Pacing to Leading...

This mirroring and matching

behaviour is known as pacing.
That's just NLP jargon that means
you must pace yourself with the
other person before you can start to
lead them in the direction that you
would like to go. If when you start
to lead the person you discover
resistance go back to pacing to
make sure that you are maintaining
congruence.

When pacing someone you are

keeping in as close step with that
person as possible. You should be
mirroring them on a verbal, physical
and emotional level and you must
listen to what they are telling you.
Through careful observation the
person that you are speaking with
will provide you with the
information that you need to
persuade them.
 11. Deliberate Rapport Breaking

There are times when you will want

to break rapport. You might have
been a meeting where you really
need to move onto something else
but the other person wants to
continue chatting.
For situations like this it's useful to
learn how to break rapport gently
so that you no longer have to tell
the other person abruptly that it is
time to go or worse to continue
chatting when there are other tasks
that need to be taken care of.
Another situation where rapport is
sometimes broken is during the
sales process. A salesperson who
doesn't want to be associated with
the signing of a contract will
sometimes break rapport just
before signing so that they are not
associated with the contract. This
way if buyer’s remorse occurs later
the customer and the salespersons
relationship will still be maintained.
This is a clever way to have
yourself viewed as more of a guide
in the sales process, helping the
customer find the right product but
not being directly associated with
the actual exchange of money.
Another case where you will need
to break rapport is where the
subject matter is shifting into an
area that is controversial and you
don't think it is in your best
interests to keep discussing it.
Common examples of this are
religion and politics. If you value
the long term relationship but don't
believe that your own beliefs will
match the other persons it is a good
idea to break rapport so that you
can later on you will still be able to
lead that person.
One of the first ways that you can
break rapport is through your body
language. In much the same way as
the previously you would mirror the
other person in terms of the way
they held themselves, whether or
not they had their arms crossed and
how expressive they are with their
body. Another way to break rapport
is to simply alter the pitch of your
voice. If you are both talking loud
and fast, switch to a slower softer
speech pattern, etc.
12. Neuro Linguistic Persuasion Tips
and Tricks

At this point we have covered all

the fundamentals and basic tools of
persuasion and I hope that I've
managed to do so without all the
BS, confusion and other nonsense
that seems to be present in so
many NLP books and courses.
Before we wrap up though I want to
arm you with a few power tricks
that you can add to your armoury of
NLP tools.
The Power of Metaphors.
Words can only reach so deep and
once we reach that point we need a
way to reach the unconscious level.
This is where metaphors come in.
Stories can let you connect with
people in a way that a logical
argument never can.
The brain is able to make
connections and always tries to do
so. For example, when we hear
something unfamiliar our brain tries
to think of another thing we know
that we can draw a parallel with.
This is why we are able to
understand metaphors it is because
we are able to see the patterns.
Most good stories follow a pattern...
· There is a hero.
· They go on a journey.
· Along which they have to
overcome difficulties.
· In the end there is a
resolution.
Stories are a great form of
entertainment but they are so much
more.
A story can introduce new ideas or
illustrate a point. A story can make
something quite complex simple to
understand. A story can challenge
people. A story can comfort people.
Stories can reach people and hold
their attention in a way that pure
facts cannot.
Stories have been used through
history as a way of passing down
information. They provide a way
for past generations to connect with
the future. Stories enable us to
acquire ideals of industry and thrift
from tales of our grandparents
enduring the depression. We then
carry these metaphors on in our
lives.
So what exactly is a metaphor?
In a nutshell, a metaphor is drawing
a parallel between two normally
unrelated things.
It's a way of explaining a situation
by referencing another one. It puts
things in perspective and helps us
see things in a new light
We can use metaphors to shape
peoples experiences and
perceptions.
Often people will feel more
comfortable describing a situation
as a metaphor than they would
using a literal description. When a
politician talks about a country
that's in depression, he doesn't talk
about soaring unemployment or
business closures but instead refers
to “having to sail through rough
seas.”
There are two types of metaphor.
Direct and indirect. A direct
metaphor is where there is a direct
link between the two situations
where the parallel is drawn, but in
the case of an indirect metaphor
the comparison is less obvious.
Metaphorical Stories are a mightier
weapon than we may at first think
because they make people see
things from a different direction and
that is a major key in having the
ability to convince and persuade.
Just... because.
In his book "Influence: The
psychology of persuasion", Robert
Cialdini talks about a study that
was done in the USA where they
sent people to the front of a queue
to use a photocopier and ask the
person at the front of the queue
"can I get in front of you to make
five copies?"
Most of the time they were told
"no."
Then they repeated the study but
this time they were to say "can I
get in front of you to make five
copies because I'm late for a lecture
and I need to get there on time."
With that simple change to the
question the compliance rate went
up to over 90% just because they
had given a reason.
They repeated the study a third
time but this time the person was
to ask "can I get in front of you to
make five copies because I need to
make some copies."
The compliance rate remained at
over 90%
In other words they discovered that
it didn't matter what the reason
was, the fact that one was given
was enough to make people
comply. Even if that reason didn't
really make a lot of sense.
The reason has to sound plausible.
It won't work to say "can I get in
front of you to make five copies
because I need a fruit salad"
because the persons is going to
subconsciously become alerted that
the statement is nonsense.
The reason this works is that we
like to make sense of things, our
brain likes to ask "why?" and so if
we cut the process short by giving a
reason the brain goes "oh ok" and
the person becomes compliant.
This is a power trick and one you
should use all the time. Start
asking for discounts in shops
"because I want to save some
money." When you need to borrow
a colleagues stapler and they are
usually over protective of their stuff,
instead of just asking to borrow it,
ask "can I borrow your stapler
because I need to staple
something."
The more you play with this the
more fun you will have because we
like to use language.
 13. Conclusion

Your ability to persuade and

communicate effectively with NLP will
improve as you use it. I know that might
be obvious but most people who buy and
read NLP books put them down and
never put into practise what they've been
taught.
I kept this book short so you can re-read
it a few times. Remember that repetition
brings that trance state and if you can
embed this into your mind you will find
yourself using it on a daily basis because
it will become second nature.
Focus on improving one aspect of your
communication skills before moving
onto another area. If you try to use all of
the techniques in this book at once you
will find you fail to master any of them
sufficiently. Take your time and master
this stuff because it will change your
life.
Being a master persuader will open up
more doors than you can possibly
imagine.
The benefits to you of mastering stealth
persuasion are immense so choose to
take this opportunity and begin
practicing these principles today.

"The words you say will

influence your clients today...
and twenty years from today"
- Milton Erikson

Influence: The Psychology of

Persuasion
Covert Hypnosis Exposed
5 Secrets to read minds!
The Truth About Hypnosis
Persuasion Skills Black Book