12/6/2019 Fall 2019 ENGL 101-66 20636: Having the Gamer Mindset

Fall 2019 ENGL 101-66 20636

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Having the Gamer Mindset
by Titus Wang - Tuesday, November 5, 2019, 3 38 AM
  My topic was about how video games can mostly positively affect the way we think as well as the counter-intuitive negative methods.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated! 
  Having the Gamer Mindset.docx
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Re: Having the Gamer Mindset
by Titus Wang - Wednesday, November 6, 2019, 8 47 PM
   I just realized the works cited page is not there for some reason, here it is. 

  Technological Analysis Argument Works Cited Page.docx

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Re: Having the Gamer Mindset
by Eder Ramirez - Thursday, November 7, 2019, 12 33 PM
  1. The introduction has a good start, and it eases the reader very well into the subject with your history with gaming. However,
you need to ease into the thesis's subject better: the subject of video gaming providing benefits. Maybe you could add a little
more info about how video games have benefited you (besides making you happy). I find that video games (mostly FPSs) have
significantly refined my hand-eye coordination and my vision.
2. Thesis is actually pretty good. You used the misinterpretations model, witch is perfect for a topic like this. Good work.
3. Structure is another strong aspect of the paper. Paragraphs flow very well together and information was inserted rather well,
with the topic sentences excellently introducing and easing the reader into the central idea they are about. While some of the
topic sentenses could use a liiiiiiiitle more refinement, they're still good nonetheless.
4. You are under the 2-3 sources per paragraph quota, and this is a subject that has been studied to all hell. I'm sure there alot of
journals and thesises out there about this subject. Your sources were great, bu just need a little more support via extra
resources. 
5. Yes! You did! You not only introduced an alternative source, but you gave a very through explanation on studies regarding
aggression in games. However, you didn't refute it. You have to do that. Do that, and this section is gold.
6. (see 3)
7. I think the style of the paper is good overall. Maybe the introduction could use a bit more work, but the style is good overall. 
8. The conclusion is good, but it suffers from the problem that 1 did, where you need to connect the benefits of gaming with
yourself.
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12/6/2019 Fall 2019 ENGL 101-66 20636: Having the Gamer Mindset

9. The only thing wrong with the works cited page is the fact that it isnt in ABC order. 
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