Camille

Dec. 1, 2019
Blanchard 2-2

“You’re safe,” he said. “Thank God.” Commented [1]: he's safe away from home

She drew a deep breath, grateful for this moment. An officer

With a white crew cut and startling blue eyes crossed the room, a Commented [2]: white = pure the officer isn't going to
be the one to make mistakes during this arguement, it'll
clipboard under one arm. He shook Norah’s hand, David’s. Then be a family member
he turned to Paul.
“What I’d like to do is put you in the slammer,” he said conversationally. “A
smart-aleck boy like yourself. Don’t know how many Commented [3]: david sounds cruel but he has paul's
best interest in mind.
I’ve seen over the years, boys thinking they’re so tough, boys who
get let off again and again, until eventually they hit real trouble.
Then they go to jail for a long time and find out that they’re not
tough at all.
It’s a shame. But it seems your neighbors think they’re Commented [4]: cop wants him to be punished

doing you a favor and won’t press charges about the car. So since I
can’t lock you up, I’m releasing you in the custody of your parents.”
Paul nodded. His hands were trembling; he shoved them in his
pockets. They all watched as the officer tore a paper off his clip-
board, handed it to David, and walked slowly back to the desk.
“I called the Bolands,” David explained, folding the paperwork
and tucking it into his breast pocket. “They were reasonable. This
Could have been much worse, Paul. But don’t think you won’t be payingback
every red cent of what it will cost to get that car re-
paired. And don’t think your life is going to be very happy for quite
a while. No friends. No social life.”
Paul nodded, swallowing.
“I have to rehearse,” he said. “I can’t just drop the quartet.”
“No,” David said. “What you can’t do is steal a car from our
neighbors and expect life to go on as usual.”
Norah felt Paul, so tense beside her and so angry.
Leave it, she found herself thinking, seeing the muscle move in David’s
jaw.
Leave it alone, both of you. That’s enough.
Commented [5]: showing grace. maybe saying that
grace will be shown to david later on?
Commented [6]: Paul got lucky and he should be
gratful
Commented [7]: Despite acting "tough", he was really
scared
Commented [8]: hes nervous
Commented [9]: He makes music his priority and
cares about it enough to set that as the most important
thing he does
Commented [10]: David isn't understanding that this is
what Paul needs to do in order to succeed at being a
musician. He wants Paul to not go to school in fear he
won't be successful, but in reality, him doing this really
will make Paul unsuccessful
Commented [11]: she cares but she wants to punish
him cause she cares
“Fine,” Paul said. “Then I’m not coming home. I’d rather go to
jail.” Commented [12]: major slap in the face to his father

“Well, I can certainly arrange that,” David answered, his tone

dangerously cool. Commented [13]: two opposing words

“Go ahead,” Paul said. “Arrange it. Because I’m a musician. And
I’m good. And I’d rather sleep in the streets than give it up. Hell, I’d
rather be dead.”
There was a moment, a heartbeat. When David didn’t respond,
Commented [14]: ANOTHER slap in the face. he is
saying that he would rather die than listen to his father
and pursue the same life that his father has.

Paul’s eyes narrowed.

“My sister doesn’t know how good she’s got it,” he said. Commented [15]: WOW THIS IS A MAJOR INSULT
TO HIS MOTHER. she will be very sad about this
Norah, who had been holding herself very still, felt the words
like shards of ice, a harsh, bright, piercing grief. Before she knew Commented [16]: positive diction in a negative way

what she’d done, she’d slapped Paul across the face. The stubble of Commented [17]: she lashed out and she might regret
this later because she is usually a very mild tempered
his new beard was rough against her palm—he was a man, no person

longer a boy, and she’d hit him hard. He turned, shocked, a red Commented [18]: treated him like a man

mark already rising on his cheek.

“Paul,” David said, “don’t make things worse than they are.
Don’t say things you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”
Norah’s hand was still stinging; her blood rushed. “We’ll go
home,” she said. “We’ll settle this at home.”
“I don’t know. A night in jail might do him good.”
“I lost one child,” she said, turning to him. “I will not lose
another.” Commented [19]: she is still grieving about the loss of
her daughter and everything that happens is influences
Now David looked stunned, as if she’d slapped him too. The by this

ceiling fan clicked, and the revolving door spun with rhythmic
thunks.
“All right,” David said. “Maybe that’s right. Maybe you’re right
to pay no attention to me. God knows I’m sorry for the things I’ve
done to fail you both.” Commented [20]: david is mad for his good intentions
but no one is giving him credit
“David?” Norah said, as he turned away, but he didn’t respond.