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Depressive Romance
Kristina Carpenter
PSYC 3P80
Some people can’t express why they feel so sad, even though their reminded life is not all
bad; Being told by loved ones not to cry, but instead to explain so they can understand why.
Inevitably, it is normative for individuals to feel sad sometimes, however depressed individuals
feel more than sad but instead a sense of hopelessness along with other debilitating symptoms
(Rehman, Evraire, Karimiha & Goodnight, 2015). In addition to depressive symptoms, they also
suffer socially as well, due to rejection stemming from their peer’s inability to understand what
they are going through (Rehman et al., 2015). Depression can affect anyone; however, it is most
prevalent in adulthood where mating and relationships are evolutionarily emphasized (Davila et
al., 1997). Although the literature discusses various impacts on relationships, this review will
literature, it has been concluded that depression has a negative effect on marital functioning
based on the cycle of stress generation that promotes interpersonal conflict (Davila et al., 1997),
in addition to gender differences that lead to different effects in functioning depending on which
spouse is depressed (Rehman et al., 2008; Davila et al., 1997; Coyne et. al., 2002; Gotlib &
Whiffen, 1989). Lastly, literature has supported the idea that insecure attachment is an important
factor that mediates the relationship between conflict resolution in marriage (Heene et al., 2007;
Stress Generation
et al., 2015). Individuals who are depressed suffer from higher rates of interpersonal suffering
which lead to conflict, in addition to rating their marriages less satisfactory (Rehman et al., 2015;
Davila et al., 1997; Coyne et. al., 2002). Depressed individuals unintentionally impede their
interpersonal relations, creating more stress in their lives (Davila et al., 1997). An example is
Depressive Romance 3
(Rehman et al., 2015). Rehman et al., (2015), conducted a cross-sectional study to see the role
that depression plays in relationship satisfaction. The results of the study showed that spouses
with greater levels of depressive symptoms self-reportedly experience less satisfaction in their
relationship (Rehman et al., 2015). Anxiety was measured as well due to the high comorbidity
rate, yet when depression was isolated and examined separately, it was found that the more
depressed the individual was, the greater the decrease in relationship satisfaction (Rehman et al.,
2015). The depressed spouse who perceives the relationship negatively may in turn act out
negatively, causing a cyclical cycle of stress, conflict, and depression (Davila et al., 1997). This
is supported by the stress generation perspective, which states that individuals who are depressed
continuously contribute to their own stress which worsens depression (Davila et al., 1997). A
study by Davila et al., (1997) measured the stress in the marriage, symptoms of depression, and
support behaviour at an initial assessment and one year later. The results showed that spouses
that reported higher levels of support were more satisfied than if they had received lower levels
of support (Davila et al., 1997). The dysphoric effects associated with depression inhibits how
individuals perceive interactions, therefore always expecting negative or no support from their
spouse (Davila et al., 1997). It is important to consider within the marriage context, that if an
individual is depressed and perceiving their spouse as not caring about them then evidently they
are going to feel upset, take it out on their spouse which causes more conflict, more marital
distress and evidently more depressive symptoms (Davila et al., 1997). Comparatively, in a study
by Coyne, Thompson & Palmer (2002), they looked specifically at married women who were
husbands based on how they deal with conflict and the functioning in their marriage. The results
showed 65.8% of depressed outpatients were unsatisfied in their relationships as well as claiming
there were more destructive approaches to dealing with conflict (Coyne et. al., 2002).
Additionally, these levels of conflict led to reports of complaints regarding the marriage such as
a difference in social needs, inability to discuss problems effectively, no desire to engage in sex,
not enough time spent together, and lack of emotional support relative to their needs (Coyne et.
al., 2002). This relates to stress generation, as the more an individual expects a situation to go
badly or perceives a situation negatively, the likelihood it will happen based on maladaptive
behaviours that generate more stress, leading to more aggressive conflict (Coyne et. al., 2002;
Rehman et al., 2015). It is important to point out that individuals who suffer from depression
most often describe feeling mainly anhedonic (loss of interest) (Coyne et. al., 2002). Therefore,
this loss of interest may explain why depressed individuals rate their marriages as unsatisfactory,
which then generates more stress and conflict in their lives. Interestingly, in regard to husbands
with depression, the same effect of stress generation was not replicated, suggesting gender plays
a role in the marital context of depression (Davila et al., 1997). Additionally, much of the
literature has discussed gender differences which explains differences in marital functioning with
Gender Differences
In our society, many cultural factors exist that create an imbalance of power between
gender, and because gender roles are so deeply embedded in our society, that may create a larger
risk for women developing depression (Whisman, 2001). Much of the literature has pointed out
gender differences as a result of different effects in the marriage with a depressed spouse
(Rehman et al., 2008; Davila et al., 1997; Coyne et. al., 2002; Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989).
Depressive Romance 5
Depression is more prevalent in women than men (Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989), so it is crucial to
evaluate the gender differences in a marital context in order to see how the differences in
depressed spouses may affect marital functioning. In regard to women, they are more likely to
express their emotions, and display levels of both high positive emotions and high negative
emotions (Rehman et al., 2008). In addition, because women are highly expressive, they are
more likely to seek treatment for their depression (Rehman et al., 2008). However, this result
may be due to the fact that women impede their interpersonal relationships more often due to
more expressive emotions (Rehman et al., 2008). This would evidently influence women to
outsource for help in order to rebuild broken relationships as a result of interpersonal difficulties
associated with depression. Comparatively, men are more likely to suppress their feelings of
depression in social contexts due to the increased negativity they face compared to women
(Rehman et al., 2008). The differences in how depression is expressed interpersonally may
support the idea of how gender plays a role in influencing marital functioning with a depressed
spouse. Interestingly, in the study by Davila et al. (1997), although stress generation was
supported for wives with depression, there was no conclusive evidence suggesting that stress
generation existed for men due to their perceptions and behaviours not contributing to further
stresses in the marriage. This suggests that women behave more maladaptively and expressive
their symptomology more in social contexts. To compare, a study by Gotlib and Whiffen (1989),
found that marriages with a clinically depressed spouse were reported less satisfactory, in
addition spouses claimed to have increased their dysfunctional behaviour among interactions
with their spouse. Compared to spouses who were not depressed, the depressed spouses were
distinguished by negative affect after interactions with their spouse or negative perceptions about
how their spouse is behaving (Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989). However, negative affect was only
DEPRESSIVE ROMANCE 6
significant in women which may reflect the notion that women overthink and constantly go over
issues in response to depressive symptomology (Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989). This negative affect
associated with women could be explained then by the higher rates of emotional expression, and
the tendency to worry about the same issues repeatedly (Rehman et al., 2008). Interestingly,
women are also more interpersonally oriented and hold a greater desire to meet their
responsibilities within the marriage (Rehman et al., 2008). In the study by Coyne et al. (2002),
both depressed husbands and wives had different self-reported complaints, and objectives that
affected their marriage functioning. Across gender, sexual dissatisfaction was among one of the
primary complaints (Coyne et. al., 2002). However, in specificity to gender, women of depressed
spouses complained about being bored in the marriage, their spouse being stubborn,
disagreements regarding money and difficulties communicating (Coyne et. al., 2002). Whereas,
men of depressed spouses tend to complain about conflicting interests regarding children, the
lack of respect they are receiving and the fact they are failing to contribute to their role in the
marriage (Coyne et. al., 2002). This suggests that there may be an increased burden on men
having to take on more roles and responsibilities, contributing to more stress and marital
dysfunction. For wives with depression they perceived blame to always be placed on them, as
well as an increased frequency to complain and argue (Coyne et. al., 2002). This is important
because in the study by Gotlib and Whiffen (1989), it was supported that spousal arguments are
one of the most common reasons for increased depressive symptomology. This may be due to the
fact that for women their marriage is their main source of support, so if they feel unsupported
and that they are being blamed for everything they might develop maladaptive behaviours and
defensive mechanisms to cope which worsens depressive symptoms and causes an increase in
marital dissatisfaction (Whisman, 2001). Therefore, the fact that men and women differ in terms
Depressive Romance 7
experiences have a huge impact on future development, therefore attachment style has emerged
throughout the literature as a potential factor that dictates the level of dysfunction experienced in
the marital context with a depressed spouse (Heene et al., 2007; Scott & Cordova, 2002).
Attachment Style
A study by Heene & Buysse (2005), looked at the relationship between the type of
communication couples engage in during conflict, and attachment style within the context of
marriage. The results supported the idea that depression and insecure attachment led to marital
dysfunction (Heene & Buysse 2005). In line with other research showing differences among
gender (Rehman et al., 2008; Davila et al., 1997; Coyne et. al., 2002; Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989;
Whisman, 2001), a gender-effect for attachment emerged for marital satisfaction as anxious-
ambivalent attachment was associated with negative marital adjustment for females (Heene &
Buysse 2005). The females in this study believed that relational problems were the cause of their
depression, whereas the males believed it was because of work, however it was not measured
relative to how their initial depressive symptoms may have contributed to these problems
altogether (Heene et al., 2007). Evidently insecure attachment is associated with depressive
symptomology which has an effect on marital functioning, as both wives and husbands showed
either avoidant or ambivalent behaviour (Heene et al., 2007). In this study, the assumption was
made that they may see one another as the causes of interpersonal struggles which leads to
dissatisfaction in marriage (Heene et al., 2007). The ambivalent insecure attachment is more
evident in women, where avoidant attachment is more evident in men, which may lead women to
doubt themselves more, seeking more reassurance, and when they do not receive it they may
DEPRESSIVE ROMANCE 8
perceive their spouse as unsupportive and rate their marriages as less satisfactory (Heene et al.,
2007). This demanding role that depressed-ambivalent women are faced with may end up
reciprocating more feelings of hopelessness, whereas men tend to exhibit more avoidant
behaviour and withdrawal from conflict and stress in the marriage (Heene et al., 2007).
Comparatively, in a study by Scott and Cordova (2002), the results supported the idea that secure
attachment reduced marital dissatisfaction among couples with a depressed spouse. Insecure
seeking behaviours, which inhibits a positive perception of the self and of others (Scott &
Cordova, 2002). Therefore, these studies show the notion that attachment insecurity is associated
with how depressive symptoms will impact marital functioning, evidently supporting the
Overall, the literature has shown multiple differences in the way depression effects
marital functioning. Since depressive symptoms may present differently in different people, it is
important to note that anhedonia may be an important risk factor for marital dysfunction for the
other spouse (Coyne et al., 2002). However, depending on certain depressive symptoms
individuals face, they may be faced with extreme rumination which may cause interpersonal
conflicts and evidently an increase in depressive symptomology (Davila et al., 1997). This is the
process of stress generation that may reflect greater marital conflict leading to further
in a marital context which show no sign of stress generation for men (Davila et al., 1997),
women are more expressive, and men are more inhibitory which reflects more harshly on women
due to then rating their marriages less satisfactory (Coyne et. al., 2002; Gotlib & Whiffen, 1989).
Depressive Romance 9
Lastly, attachment style effects how depression impedes marital functioning, with results
showing that men are more avoidant, and women are more anxious (Scott & Cordova, 2002).
Unfortunately, much of the research that has been conducted has focused on women due to the
higher prevalence rate of depression in women, in addition to the more expressivity they engage
in regarding their depressive symptoms (Rehman et al., 2008). Therefore, it is crucial for more
research to be conducted on men in order to better understand the effects of depression on the
well-being of the marriage, but also to incorporate such knowledge into treatment plans for
troubled marriages that aim to directly target marital conflict as a function of mental illness. In
addition, it is also crucial to consider the other person in the relationship’s mental health, and
emotional stability in order to determine the rate at which having a relationship with a depressed
individual will impact marital functioning. This area of research is specifically important as a
bidirectional effect exists for depression and marital dysfunction (Heene et al., 2007), therefore it
is crucial to expand research into male depression in a marital context to better understand
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