Shame in Gender Identity

A follow-up documentary to “Shame in Mental Health”

A Qualitative Paper

Presented to Mrs. Johnelyn Tangpus of Far Eastern University-Manila

In Fulfillment

for the Requirements of Scholarly Inquiry

By

Kaye Angelqiue S. Baeza

John Carlo A. Cialana

Marie Sofia Dy

Abrielle Iguana

Mon Miguel G. Tantongco

December 2, 2019
Introduction
Shame is a painful feeling that reacts to a feeling of inability to accomplish some

perfect state and the other significant of Shame is that concerning emotional well-being

cases, may be characterized as "make somebody feel embarrassed" or someone else

who taunts the individual with mental precariousness is the typical idea that we have. Be

that as it may, Shame is likewise existing with the individual who has a psychological

wellness issue. In regards with the speculation of shame in gender identity, the self

conscious of guilt, shame, embarrassment and pride are moral emotions, which motivate

adherence with social standards or norms and individual models and rise in early youth

following the advancement of mindfulness. Moreover, gender stereotypes are also an

existing factor why an individual feels shame. For instance, in our society women are

visible to experience more guilt, shame, and embarrassment than men.

In line with this, we conducted a documentary titled “Shame in Mental Health” as

our midterm requirement wherein we came to a conclusion that shame gives a weaker

feeling to a person that has a mental health problem. They want to tell others but they

cannot because they feel embarrassed. Indeed, stigma needs to be eliminated and

people need to learn more about mental health.

To further explore the topic, in our final requirement we did a follow-up

documentary about shame through gender perspective. It is titled ‘Shame in Gender

identity’.
Objective
The aim of our paper is to define what shame is and how gender can affect shame
and the mental health of a person.

 To distinguish what gender has a huge factor in a person for having shame
 To recognize how shame can be a factor in a mental health of a person
 To explore various perspectives through our respondents
 To identify which gender preference are most likely prone in Shame.

Statement of the Problem

The general problem of this research is to know how shame affects one’s mental
health specifically through gender perspective. The specific problems are which gender
is more prone to experience shame and how does gender norms affects shame.

Methodology

This paper is qualitative in nature since the questions are answered descriptively
and in the form of non-numerical data. The primary goal of the documentary is to
distinguish which gender is more prone to experience shame and how does it affect one’s
mental health. It is in connection of our previous documentary which was “Shame in
Mental Health” specifically in a person that experienced depression.

In line with this, we did a face-to-face interaction as a method of gathering

information. We opted to have respondents that belongs to the following gender groups:
female, male, and LGBT. We conducted an estimated 3-5 minutes interview with the four
(4) Far Eastern University (FEU) students, regardless of their institute and courses. We
asked five (5) questions that were formulated based on the stated objectives above. The
interviews were recorded in video and audio, the latter was due to the respondents’
requests.
Presentation of data

We conducted an interview with four respondents in the mentioned locale. Two

female students, one male student, and one student that is part of the LGBT community.
We provided five questions that were asked to the respondents in order. The following
tables present the exact answers of the respondents in each question.

The first question was “Have you ever felt shame in your life and what situation it
is more occurent?” Four respondents answered “Yes” they experienced shame.

Respondent Answer

Female "Yes, I have. Kapag may nasasabi akong offensive to other people and
student (F1) kapag I wear something na they don't expect me to wear.”

Female "Oo naman. Siguro kapag hindi 'ko nakukuha ýung gusto 'ko tas
student (F2) parang pinapalabas ng mga tao na ako pa ýung mali."

Male student “Yes, actually merong times when kapag nagcocommute ako sa lrt kasi
‘di ba kapag gumagalaw ‘yung LRT minsan mahirap magbalance. So,
‘yung simple events na ganun napapahiya ako. Halimbawa kapag
natatpilok ako.”

LGBT student “Yes, one of the situations I think is kapag hindi ko nagagawa ‘yung
bagay na alam ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko because there are people
especially… for example, my family, they expect a lot from me since
I’m the eldest so ‘yung possibility nun is they expect a lot from me, sa
school, sa academics, outside, so kapag ‘di ko nagagawa o ‘di ko
nameet ‘yung expectation nila dun ko na fifeel na parang nakakhiya
ako sa event na ‘yun.”

Figure 1
 The second question was “How did you cope with the situation you had
experienced?” The respondents provided their ways on how they overcome their
experiences dealing with shame.

Respondent Answer

Female "Well, it's either that I try to ignore the comments that I get or I try to
student (F1) kinda find the reason kung bakit ganun ýung sinasabi nila or try to
balance out ýung mga reasonable things na should I do it again or
parang magdedecide ako... babaguhin ko ýung sarili ko or kung wala
naman mali sa ginagawa ko or sinasabi ko eh 'di I'll continue."

Female "I take a step back muna kasi 'di ko talaga kaya ýung ako ýung
student (F2) magpupush through sa galit kaya ginagawa ko I step back tas
magpapalamig muna ako. Tas when I'm ready to confront the person
saka ko totohanin kung ano ýung nasa isip ko."

Male student “I think nangyayari kasi ‘yung mga shameful moments kapag iniisip
‘yung or iniisip mo, nagpapadominate ka sa kung ano ‘yung iniisip ng
iba. So halimbawa, ‘yun nga, ‘yung simpleng pagkadapa sa LRT
parang sa iba nakakatawa ‘yon so maaashame ka. Nagcocope up ako
sa mga ganung situation by disregarding kung ano ‘yung thoughts ng
iba and just keep going on with the situation.”

LGBT student “Ah cope up siguro like bumawi na lang next time or make sure that
the… next time around you’ll give your hundred percent para at least,
ako ha para sa sarili ko, nasabi ko na na-satisfy ko ‘yung ‘di ko nagawa
noon.”

Figure 2

The third question was “How prone are you in experiencing shame when you have

mental health problem (situational)? Why?”

 Respondent Answer

Female "I'd say parehas lang when it comes to boys and girls na ýung....
student (F1) towards mental health kasi talaga merong stigma no matter what
gender you are. When it comes to facing problems kapag usapang
mental health na kasi nga most people aren't really aware and also 'di
rin naman katanggap-tanggap for most people especially older
generations kasi nga they don't like the reality na meron talagang
problems when it comes to mental health."

Female "Hindi ako sure kung mayroon akong experience with mental health
student (F2) pero as a woman, parang it’s more nakakahiya kasi kunwari when
you're in a male dominated space ganun tas sasabihin nila ay babae
kasi, ay meron ka ba, ganun kaya ka nagkakaganyan kaya mas
nakakadegrade lalo. So, what more if may mental health problems ka
pala eh 'di parang magsasabay-sabay ýun lahat."

Male student “I think hindi naman ganoon kasi kapag… ako kasi personally hindi ako
masyadong open sa ibang tao. So, ‘di nila alam kung meron akong
problema ganun so hindi ako prone sa mga ganun.”

LGBT student “Siguro hindi naman lagi, siguro kasi sakin I’ll always try my best at
saka I do not think of failure as something na ikakasira ko. I use it as a
motivation to work harder sa susunod na kailangan kong gawin.”

Figure 3

The fourth question was “How do you think your gender identity affects in dealing

with shame? In what way?”

Respondent Answer
Female "Probably since shame is more prominent in females compared to
student (F1) males. I think females are more adaptive sa mga ganoong environment
tapos siguro nakadepende rin kung saan ka lumaki. Kung madalas
kang nahuhusgahan ganun".

Female "Kasi ''di ba ýung gender norms sa mga babae ay hindi pwede mag-
student (F2) ingay dapat tahimik lang kayo so parang feel ko dun galing ýung
tendency ko na hindi pwede masyadong magreact kasi parang 'pag
ginawa ko ýun mas magmumukha akong guilty or ako pa ýung
magmumukhang mali lalo.”

Male student “I think hindi naaapektuhan kasi I don’t have… I don’t find any problem
with my gender identity.”

LGBT student “Sakin sa gender identity feeling ko most of the people especially
LGBT community, prone sila sa ganon kasi usually when they hear
other people parang talk behind them or talk about them na hindi nila
nagugustuhan syempre they feel ashamed of themselves pero siguro
para sa akin hindi ako kailangan matakot sa ganun o katakutan ‘yung
ganun. Failure nga is a step for you para… I mean stepping stone siya
para mag progress ka.”

Figure 4

The fifth question was “How do shame affects one’s mental health?”

Respondent Answer

Female "As a female na nakaexperience na ýun, sometimes talaga it messes

student (F1) you up like ýung confidence mo talaga bababa, ýung self-esteem mo,
tapos there are times na maiisip mo bakit ba nila ako pinapakialaman,
wala naman mali sa ginagawa 'ko. Kung meron man, eh 'di you have
to face the challenges na you have to go through na sobrang hirap din
kasi na magbago."
Female "Feel 'ko mas okay pa sana if galing sa isang tao na hindi mo talaga
student (F2) kilala na never mo nakita o nakausap tapos online pa tapos once lang
nangyari pero kapag sunod-sunod na from the same person or from
the same set of people especially people that are supposed to be your
support system like familiy ganun. Feel ko it’s much more hurtful kapag
ganoon kasi kung sino pa dapat ýung nakakakilala saýo sila pa ýung
nagpapababa saýo."

Male student “I think very much kasi merong mga shameful events na nagleleave
talaga ng scar and natratraumatize ang isang tao. Dadalhin niya ‘yon
for the… pwedeng for the rest of his or her life.

LGBT student “It’s a big issue. Malaking bagay siya kasi if person a lets other people
dominate him or her sa mga sinasabi nila, that person masisira siya. I
mean ‘yung sarili niya ‘di siya makakafocus sa kailangan niyang gawin.
So, I think sakin ‘yung opinyon ko na lang, don’t let other dominate you
dahil first of all ikaw ‘yung nakakakilala sa sarili mo at ‘di naman sila. “

Figure 5
Identification of claims and validation

Based on the interviews that the researchers have done, several claims may be
identified from the perspective and narrative of the interviewee. This can be connected
with several articles as a basis to validate such claims.

1. Both genders (male and female) are prone to shame

According to the interviewees between the two female FEU students and two FEU
male students, that they were neutral (except for one female student which had stated
that females are more prone to shame) when it came to the question if gender affected
how they felt shame. Here in the Philippines, where in the environment that women live
in is mostly patriarchal, it would be most apparent that they would be more prone to shame
and mental depression ( Anonuevo & Stiftung, 2000)
As women are regarded as the fairer sex, who are usually more open with their
emotions. Men, in general are more withdrawn and are not prone to talking about their
feelings and do not show emotions easily. Both genders experience the same amount of
shame, however the causes and reasons for their shame differ greatly. Women’s
experiences of shame are usually related to what society expects of then and how they
should appear in front of society (Miller-Prieve, 2016). While men on the other hand,
have more experiences on might not experience the pressure of society as much as
women, will still experience it all the same. As stated earlier, women are more open about
their emotions thus it is easier for them to adapt, yet they have the harder expectations in
society (especially here in the Philippines). Men have a harder time in showing their
emotions, thus they have a tendency of bottling it up, causing them to become more
vulnerable to shame, yet society have less expectations of them (Montero , 2018). There
is a sort of balance of how susceptible both these genders are to shame.

2. Gender norms may does not only affect the mental health of women but of men as
well
Women adhere rigidly to the kinds of norms that encourage them to not share their
emotions, to be sort of relentlessly self-reliant without seeking the help or support of
others. They can have poorer mental health outcomes, particularly more depressive
symptomatology because doing so cuts them off I think from the social networks and
social supports that might help them get through a difficult time (Powell, 2016)

Gender norms specifically the desired “masculinity” the society has placed on men has
an effect on their mental health. Most men who adhere to the society’s idea of masculinity
have the tendency to keep their personal feelings and problems to themselves as they
don’t want to be perceived as weak or “less masculine” by the society. They instead try
to become more self-reliant to prevent feeling shame from asking help from others which
leads them to becoming more isolated and alone in the process which is not great for
their mental health.

3. People in the LGBT community experience twice the shame compared to those
who are not, especially in countries that are conservative and powered by religion.
LGBT people are experiencing shame especially in religion dominated countries. Like
in the Philippines, where about 80% of the population are Catholics. They believe that
their God made only two genders which is the male and female. And other gender aside
from those two are not accepted by God. That's why it is hard for some members of the
LGBT community to 'come out of their closet' because they are still not socially accepted
and scared that people in their community might judge them based on their gender
preference and make fun of who they really are (Almendral, 2018)
Athough religion is a great factor to the unacceptance of the LB+GBT community here in
the Philippines, there are still factors such as the complex societal expectations as well
as the feelings of the people about the non – adherence to normal societal rules that may
affect how the Philippine people see the LGBT community.

Conclusion
Shame in general is a rather broad topic considering there are many causes for
shame. That’s why the researchers had narrowed it down to shame in regards to gender,
this topic that has been breached by many articles and papers yet has not mentioned
about how it is associated with things such as toxic masculinity and how men and women
cope differently to shame. Both genders experience shame yet they do not have the same
reasons as to why they experience shame. Although there can be some outliers such as
the environment where the person grew up (which can affect how a person feels shame
regardless of gender norms/gender). While the expectations of gender norms which is
very apparent here in the Philippines can also affect not only women but also men. Such
example of this is “toxic masculinity”, this is something that has plagued most men, they
cannot do things which are deemed to be “too effeminate and delicate” such as showing
emotions or being more open about themselves.

People in the LGBT community are twice as susceptible to shame because the
Philippines is not as open to the idea of transgender and homosexuality (may be because
of religion or because of complex societal belief). That’s why most people in the LGBT
community hide their sexual and gender orientation thus making them very vulnerable to
experiencing shame and mental health problems. The topic of the LGBT community and
their experiences with shame is topic which needs further expounding for there to be a
definite conclusion. This paper only gave a few points about the narrative of one LGBT
student and is not a definite answer.

Recommendation
This paper can be used as reference by other researchers for further studies and
to explore the topic more that could help in the future aspects of understanding the
existence of shame in different gender identity and in mental health.

1.) Interview more respondents to further deepen the understanding of people’s different
views and ideas regarding shame and mental health.

2.) Elaborate more and specify the different experiences that different genders have
regarding shame.

3.) Research and create an individual study regarding the topic of how the stigma of
“toxic masculinity” affects the mental health of the men in the Philippines.

4.) Explore more on the LGBT community and their views on shame and mental health.

Bibliography

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 Montero , H. (2018). Depression in Men: The Cycle of Toxic Masculinity. Retrieved

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men/depression-in-men-toxic-masculinity/
 Anonuevo, C., & Stiftung, F.-E. (2000). An Overview of the Gender Situation in the
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