Rapport means a sense of having connection with the person.

Rapport is defined as a harmonious relationship between people

while understanding each other's feelings and ideas.
Building rapport with your clients is one of the most important counseling skills to
possess. Did you know that approximately 40% of client change is due to the quality
of the counseling relationship?

Importance of Developing Therapeutic Rapport

The goal of developing a good rapport is to improve your chances for a successful outcome, along with developing mutual trust
and respect, to foster an environment in which you, the client, feel safe.

To develop a good rapport, your therapist must, among other things, demonstrate empathy and understanding. Therapeutic
rapport is a cornerstone of some forms of psychotherapy, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, which is common in phobia
treatment.

The Counselling Setting

Prior to engaging in the interpersonal communication process, there are basic requirements which will influence the client’s ability to
express him/herself, and to make decisions regarding the relationship. These aspects refer to the counselling setting, which in the
initial meetings can cause a significant impact in the client’s perception towards the counsellor. In a nutshell, the counsellor should
observe the following:

 Comfort: a comfortable setting improves client expression of feelings.

 Security/Privacy: providing the client with security during a session.

 Noise control: ensuring that noise does not affect communication.

 Stimuli control: a neutral environment (light colours and decoration).

 Supportive environment: a space in which the client can share in their own pace.

 Facilities: Amenities, décor and other office facilities are relevant aspects to be observed.

Break the Ice

For many, starting a conversation with a stranger is a stressful event. We may be lost for words, and awkward with our
body language and mannerisms.
Creating rapport at the beginning of a conversation with somebody new will often make the outcome of the conversation more positive. However
stressful and/or nervous you may feel, the first thing you need to do is to try to relax and remain calm. By decreasing the tension in the situation
communication becomes easier and rapport grows.

When you meet somebody for the first time, there are some easy things that you can do to reduce the tension. This will help both of you
to feel more relaxed and communicate more effectively. These include:

 Use non-threatening and ‘safe topics’ for initial small talk. Talk about established shared experiences, the weather, how you travelled to
where you are. Avoid talking too much about yourself and avoid asking direct questions about the other person.
 See How to be Polite for more ideas.

 Listen to what the other person is saying and look for shared experiences or circumstances. This will give you more to talk about in the
initial stages of communication.

See our page on Active Listening to learn how to listen effectively.

 Try to inject an element of humour. Laughing together creates harmony, make a joke about yourself or the situation/circumstances you are in,
but avoid making jokes about other people.

See Developing a Sense of Humour for more.

 Be conscious of your body language and other non-verbal signals you are sending. Try to maintain eye contact for approximately 60% of the
time. Relax and lean slightly towards them to indicate listening, and mirror their body-language if appropriate.

See Non-Verbal Communication for more information.

 Show some empathy. Demonstrate that you can see the other person’s point of view. Remember rapport is all about finding similarities and
‘being on the same wavelength’ as somebody else. Being empathic will help to achieve this.

Read more at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/rapport.html

1. Use your active listening skills to understand the client and their story. Before you make any attempt at an
intervention, demonstrate to the client that you understand where they are coming from. It may sound
silly, but I actually visualize myself really tiny inside of their head. That seems to help me enter their world.
2. Watch your speed. Your speed of intimacy, that is. Depending on the client’s culture, background,
personality, etc., it may take longer to build the trust required to discuss more personal and sensitive
issues. In order to assess the trust level, pay attention to both the content of what the client is sharing
(some clients will only share surface-level details at first) and the client’s body language, as they will be
important indicators of how much the client is ready to share. It is important to be aware of these non-
verbal signals because not all clients will clearly verbalize their discomfort.
3. Small successes first. Before delving into their biggest problem, try giving helpful information, positive
feedback or encouragement. You may even try an intervention on a smaller problem early on in the
process. But at this stage only attempt those problems you are reasonably confident you can address
successfully. This will help the client build confidence in you.
4. Treat the client with respect. This may seem obvious, but from your very first contact treat the client as an
important person. Return calls promptly, start sessions on time, dress professionally, have paperwork
ready for them, etc. Respect their time as much as you do your own. (Which you should, or we need to be
having a different type of conversation). Imagine how you would like to be treated as a client, and adjust
your behavior accordingly.
5. Match styles. Watch your client and become aware of their communication style. A wise teacher once
said that as counselors we were like tuning forks. Our jobs were to get the client to come closer to
wellness, or normalcy (to be “in tune”). So, we should try to match our clients’ communication rhythm but
stay a little bit to the center. So for hyperactive clients, we stay on the calm side of hyperactive. Often the
client will mirror our style, and thus begin to calm down.
6. Be competent. It should seem obvious, but probably the best way to destroy a counseling relationship is
to be incompetent. The client isn’t going to trust you if you don’t know what you are doing. Ensure you
have proper training and experience before tackling the client’s issue. Be forthright with the client about
how much experience you have as soon as the client first mentions their issue, preferably during the first
phone contact. Let the client decide if they want you or not. It’s really their decision, not yours.
7. Self disclosure. Disclosing personal information is also another way to build rapport. But be careful with
this one. Too much disclosure, done too early and for the wrong reasons can easily backfire. For more
information, please see the post on the skill of self-disclosure.

Remember, the counseling relationship is really the most important factor in the room. It matters more
than the theory and interventions you use
  Being well prepared for the session, unrushed, calm, ready and prepared to be there for the client,
putting their own issues and problems out of the way, for the duration of the session.

 Making a safe and trusting environment, including taking the trouble to make the setting appealing;
offering a restful, clean, uncluttered and pleasant setting; providing comfy seating and perhaps a
cup of tea; and ensuring there are absolutely no intrusions, and that the room is soundproofed.

 Being aware of who the client is, including (for second and follow-on sessions) knowing the client's
name, and remembering key things about their issues (through taking the time to read last week’s
notes).

 Offering empathy, making an effort to be there with and for the client, and trying to see how the client
feels about and sees things (which is likely to be different from the counsellor's perception).

 Having an accepting manner, including remaining unshocked, whatever the client brings; being non-
judgemental, however much the client's behaviour surprises or appalls us; offering unconditional
positive regard (UPR) to the client, however they have been behaving; and maintaining respect for
the person (though not always condoning the behaviour).

 Being unrushed, allowing the client time; letting the client stay with whatever feelings come up,
without trying to solve all the problems at that moment; and being patient with clients who find it
hard to talk about themselves.

 Being congruent: being honest, in a well-considered and kindly way; and not being 'brutally honest' in
a confrontational or rude way, but gently challenging dysfunctional beliefs and behaviours, when the
time is right.

If rapport is established, the client will grow to trust the counsellor, and a good foundation is laid for
real growth and healing to occur.

1. Be prepared
Read your client notes before each session. This might sound obvious, however, if you are seeing back to back clients,
it can be easy to skip this very important step. Nothing destroys rapport than “forgetting” critical details.

2. Listen without judgement

We all have morals and values. While these should always inform our practice, they should not interfere or intrude on
the counselling process.

3. Use disclosure with caution

This is a terrific way to develop rapport, particularly with difficult -to-engage clients. However, be careful. Maintaining
professional boundaries is important, so keep it to the small stuff.

4. Be aware of your limitations in knowledge and experience

This is important for new counsellors and therapists. It’s ok to be unsure, and when you are – be honest. Your client
will respect this much more than if you try and practice skills you have not yet developed.

5. Use EMPATHY
Active listening not only creates a sense of trust during counselling but it leads to the development of empathy. This is
by far the most powerful tool when it comes to developing rapport. Building a meaningful connection with your client
will mean that you feel what they feel.

This may mean that you cry when they cry, or you feel anger when they feel anger. This gives powerful insight into
what your client is feeling, which can be used to help them understand and process their emotions.

Read thoughts for better living from 25 of the web's top counsellors here.

Building rapport can take time

It’s important to be patient and not to rush the process. This can be a challenge if you are providing time-limited
support/counselling. A skilled counsellor can work towards building rapport while at the same time beginning the
counselling or therapy process – however, this is a skill which may take time to develop.

Body postures and gestures

What posture is the person you are having a conversation with assuming? What is he or she doing with
his or her arms and hands? Is the person leaning forward or backward? Observe, and then match the
posture and gestures. If, for example, the person is reserved in using the hands, there is no point for you
to gesticulate frantically!

The rhythm of the breath

Pay attention to how the other person is breathing, and then match it. This technique helps tremendously
in bonding with the other. If the person you are having a conversation with is breathing with her
diaphragm, it will not help building rapport if you breath with your upper chest. Instead, match your
interolocutor’s rhythm of breath.

The energy level

What is the energy level of your interlocutor? Is he or she shy, reserved or exuberant and extroverted? If
he or she, for example, is timid, it might be perceived as aggressive and invasive if you are exuberant. If
your interlocutor uses few words to express a concept, it does not make your communication effective if
you are very wordy.

The tone of your voice

What is your interlocutor’s tone of voice? Is he or she talking softly, almost whispering? In that case, to
build rapport, you need to mirror his or her tone of voice. Being loud, in fact, will not help establishing a
bond with your interlocutor. In addition, pay attention at the speed of the speech. Is your interlocutor
speaking slowly or fast?

Paying attention to these four characteristics and mirroring them when communicating with others, helps
you with rapport building (By the way, I am currently sending free videos to individuals interested in
learning techniques on how to build rapport. Just sign up here for my weekly advice on effective
communication).

Attending and Encouraging

These strategies use the counselor's or therapist's posture, visual contact, gestures, facial expressions, and words to indicate to
clients not only that they are being heard but also that the counselor or therapist wishes them to continue sharing information.

Restating and Paraphrasing

These strategies enable a counselor or therapist to serve as a sounding board for the client by feeding back thoughts and feelings
that clients verbalize. Restating involves repeating the exact words used by the client. Paraphrasing repeats the thoughts and
feelings of the client, but the words are those of the counselor or therapist.

Reflecting Content and Reflecting Feeling

These strategies enable the counselor or therapist to provide feedback to the client regarding both the ideas (content) and the
emotions (feelings) that the client is expressing. By reflecting content, the counselor or therapist shares his or her perceptions of the
thoughts that the client is expressing. This can be done either by using the client's words or by changing the words to better reflect
the counselor's or therapist's perceptions. By reflecting feelings, a counselor or therapist goes beyond the ideas and thoughts
expressed by the client and responds to the feelings or emotions behind those words.

Clarifying and Perception Checking

These strategies enable a counselor or therapist either to ask the client to define or explain words, thoughts, or feelings
(clarifying) or to request confirmation or correction of perceptions he or she has drawn regarding these words, thoughts, or feelings
(perception checking)

Summarizing
 This strategy enables the counselor or therapist to do several things: first, to verbally review various types of information that have
been presented to this point in the session; second, to highlight what the counselor or therapist sees as significant information
based on everything that has been discussed; and third, to provide the client with an opportunity to hear the various issues that he
or she has presented. Therefore, summarizing provides both the client and the counselor or therapist with the opportunity not only to
review and determine the significance of information presented but also to use this review to establish priorities.