University of Maryland, College Park

Pear Diving Assignment 4

Garvé Polymise
Communication for Project Managers: ENCE 424
Dr. Shana Webster-Trotman
November 16, 2019
Introduction

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has it has taken place.”
A statement by George Bernard Shaw. This is one of the quotes that I’ve come across during my
time in the Communications for Project Managers class that has made quite the impression on me.
I would like to tell you three reasons why I believe this quote provides one of the most powerful
lessons in communication. The first reason is that the quote informs you of the one of the main
misconceptions that people face when communicating, the second is that, after understanding this
quote, the lessons one can learn to become better communicators are rather simple and help you
become aware of ways to improve their communication skill. Finally, this quote informs you that
communication dynamic, requiring both parties to clearly understand what is happening for it to
be successful.

Concepts from Class Quotes

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has it has taken place.”
This is a situation many of us have faced in our daily conversations, be it face-to-face conversation,
texting, audio calls, or any other form of conversation we may have. Let’s look an example of
when the illusion of communication occurs that some of us may have experience; you have written
a message to a friend, you’re informing them that their ideas for a group trip isn’t as appealing for
everyone involved, only for them to return to you with a rather defensive reply like, “You guys
are always trying to put me down, nothing I do satisfies you!” Another situation that some might
have experienced the dreaded “We need to talk” text message from their partner, that one four-
word text message that practically sends some people into cardiac arrest. We can then ask, why do
these communication scenarios cause so much trouble? Simply put, all these situations dealing
with communication have one thing in common, this is the fact that communication between the
individuals involved has not happened. We all face this issue when communicating, we believe
that if we understand what we are saying, then the recipient of our words, texts, etc. will also
understand what we are saying. The fact of the matter is, unless the recipient of in the conversation
can read the sender’s mind, communication between the two parties are subject to fail.
This brings me to my second point, the lessons learnt from understanding communication
can fail brings us to another question, “How can I succeed at communication?” The answer to this
question does not require a rocket scientist luckily; we must simply be sure to communicate clearly,
and intentionally enough that points are accurately brought across from sender to receiver. For the
scenario with the group of friends planning a vacation trip, when speaking with your friend who
has done most of the planning, not only do you inform them how the group feels about the plans
being made for the holiday trip, you must keep in mind that individuals interpret conversations
through stories they tell themselves. They may be telling themselves a story that they aren’t being
appreciated for the work they’ve put into the vacation planning, and they are only being criticized
for not satisfying one or two of the group member’s needs. This, to them, is unfair, and even cruel.
Luckily, this issue can be resolved in many ways, and one of the first is to remember to start with
heart, as taught in Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, your point
main goal of the conversation needs to remain clear in order for you to clearly illustrate the point
you are trying to bring across. Being able to guide the conversation, and thought processes brought
through this conversation, is crucial to keeping everyone involved in a receptive, and
understanding mood. Taking the time to ask questions that ensure the person you are speaking to,
your recipient, has understood the intention of your words allows you to be one hundred percent
certain that the recipient is on the same level as you after the communication has taken place.
Keeping this lesson in mind, looking back on the scenario of the friend feeling attacked
once you have informed them that their idea of fun isn’t the same as the rest of the group’s, slight
changes to the dialogue between those involved can help solve the issue easily. You could start by
informing them that you and the rest of group members are grateful for their initiative in
spearheading the planning of the trip, then go on to telling them that the rest of the group would
like to add to the itinerary of to-do enjoyable tasks that could be done during the trip. Be sure to
clarify that they understand what is being said, in cases of conflict, asking for clarification of their
emotions and thought process by first repeating what they said prior to asking the question seeking
clarification. This could happen as followed, in the case of them being giving a defensive rebuttal,
you can start by saying, “So if I’m understanding what your saying, you think that we take
advantage of you, because we always shoot your ideas down?” they can then go on to clarify their
feelings, the story they have told themselves during the duration of the conversation, and finally
the two of you can find a way to make the space safe and get back to a point where the
communication leads to a desirable outcome for everyone involved, another lesson taught in
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
The quote by George Bernard Shaw, informs us that communication isn’t as
straightforward as we think it to be. “We need to talk” texts give many people anxiety, “I think
this could be better” could make many people defensive and even shut off from communicating
with the individual who said it. We need to keep in mind that whatever we say, once it has left our
minds and mouths, is no longer in our control. People can take text, choice of wording, tone of
voice, and many other aspects of communication, out of context when they have received it. We
need to be sure to make our points clear, allowing the recipient be able to tell us what they have
heard from what we have told them and agree that it is indeed what we were telling them. Taking
these points into consideration, we can have better communication and escape from the illusions
that communication has taken place.
Concepts from readings
The book Five Stars: The Communication Secret to Get from Good to Great has taught
me so much about communication and how I can work toward becoming a better communicator.
I found myself going between loving this book, and Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking
when Stakes are High. The latest thing Five Stars: The Communication Secret to Get from Good
to Great has taught me that passion is one of the most important aspects of life that can help us
become more influencive, and persuasive individuals. The passion for wanting a specific
experience or working toward a certain goal will have greater effect in your ability to persuade
others to follow your vision and inspire them to want a similar experience. I have been using this
knowledge with my storytelling, having my passion guides the level of emotion I put into the way
I tell my stories. Having the right amounts of pathos, logos, and ethos is what could spark
inspiration from your story, or not.
 The book The Essentials of Business Etiquette, How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way
to Success has taught me that all social media is viable to either make or break your career. This
author has prompted the reader to use as many relevant platforms as possible, and to be sure to be
active appropriately on the platforms we have accounts on. This is a situation that I have to say
that I would not always find myself following. The first reason behind it is that I have not been
using all of the big social media platforms available, and this may be a generational situation, but
I, along with a fair amount of friends around my age, no longer use the platform Facebook, because
of a lack of trust in the website. It is no secret that data is being stored about you when you used
various social media platforms, but we are still encouraged to use them. I think that some people
rather their personal privacy over the “edge” they can gain from using some platforms, and I am
one of them. Sadly, Facebook is known to be a place where your data collected about you is sold
to advertisers and other companies for their own gain, something I would rather not happen to me.
Another reason why I think my social media use isn’t completely effective is due to how often I
do not post on the websites I consider myself active on. In the world of social media, there are
creators, and consumers, and sadly, I am clearly on the end of the side of consumer. This is a place
that many of us social media users find ourselves. Most of our socialization on these platforms are
done through liking and sharing, and not creating content that could be liked and shared. I think
that I should take the time to be on the side of creator, allowing myself to have a greater impact in
getting my name out there, allowing my vision, and views to be understood, in a non-offending
and non-controversial way.
In-Class Reflection
During the Big-Dig debate we had during class, I was given the role of team leader. I think
this role was given to me because of my willingness to interact with everyone within my team. I
felt like I took the initiative in organizing the group together and getting past the storming phase
toward the norming and forming phase to the point allowing us to quickly begin performing. I
looked to everyone to get their input on the topics being discussed, allowing everyone to have a
say for, or against and idea that we had for the debate as the jury team. There was one team member
of my group that was falling behind, and I took extra care in ensuring they were involved by
approaching them, and then informing the group of the discussion that took place between them
and myself.
I was pleased with the performance of my team because we were able to get to working
rather quickly, taking notes, discussing points, and debating what would and wouldn’t work
regarding the debate. What was most impressive was that my team was approached by Professor
Trotman, and we were made aware that we had been straying away from the appropriate thought
processes of this discussion, we were able to quickly reroute ourselves to create more effective
discussions and questions to ask the other teams.
Overall, I think I lead an effective team, and I think what allowed this to happen was by
keeping everyone within a central communication loop, and on equal ground. Understanding that
no one role was higher than the other, and that we could all help each other out. This was what
was most crucial to me.
Conclusion
I have learnt quite a lot in this class, and I have seen my communication skills improve
immensely. There are still a few aspects of communication I need to work on, and I know that with
time and experience that I will sharpen those skill as well, becoming a well-rounded individual.
 Works Sited

Patterson, Kerry. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.
New York: McGraw-Hill, 2012. Audiobook

Pachter, Barbara, and Denise Cowie. The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat,
and Tweet Your Way to Success.
McGraw-Hill Education, 2013. E-Book.

Gallo, Carmine. Five Stars the Communication Secrets to Get from Good to Great. St. Martin’s
Press, 2018. Audiobook.