1. Open the most recent draft of your writing.

2. Open another blank Word document.

3. Copy and paste the following into the blank document:
 Your thesis, or the sentence(s) that sum up your argument.
1. These statistics reflect a cultural and societal stigma against men’s mental
health.
 The first and last sentences of each body paragraph.
1. Although both men and women can suffer from mental health issues, the
diagnostic criteria tend to skew more towards women.
1. Men don’t understand that other people can fix things that they
cannot, so they believe that only they can solve their own
problems.
2. As previously noted, men tend to develop emotional deficiencies at a
young age due to the disconnect they feel with their mothers.
1. By increasing face time and physical contact between men and
their children, children will learn the proper ways to empathize and
develop the ability to rely on others for help.
3. According to the Mayo Clinic, men experience depression symptoms in
different ways than women.
1. It’s easy to recognize a broken arm, but it is hard to notice
substance abuse or lack of interest in activities.
 The sentence in your conclusion that you believe really hammers your point
home.
1. By giving men a better and more comfortable way to address their mental
health concerns, we as a society can become more inclusive and tolerant
of other people’s problems.
 You should now have a skeletal version of your paper—read through it and see if your logic
seems to transition well.
First, take a look at your thesis and the relationship between your thesis and body paragraph
sentences. Ask yourself:

 Does your narrative stay tightly focused on the issue it raises for you?
 The paper tends to lean heavily on statistics.
 Do you have a paragraph or two that contextualizes your issue in relation to the narrative? How
or why did your experience raise these questions for you?
 Not really. I figured the literature review would be a more formal approach to my
topic.
 Is your thesis in your literature review clearly asserting a point about the research you will be
discussing?
 Yes. The statistics and cultural are stacked against men’s mental health.
 Does your thesis statement correspond with your concluding statement(s), or are they making
different arguments?
  My thesis is more about statistics than the conclusion, which is about society.
 Do your body paragraph sentences refer back to, or act as smaller arguments that help to support
your thesis statement?
 Yes. They draw on the mention of statistics.
 If not, how can you tie your arguments back to your thesis?
 My arguments could do a better job of analyzing the statistics.
 Or, how might you alter your thesis to “fit” the arguments you are making in your body
paragraphs and conclusion?
 I could include more of a social aspect to my thesis.
 What evidence can you use to better support your thesis and/or your smaller body paragraph
arguments?
 I could weave the thesis into the body paragraphs more.
Second, take a look at your body paragraph sentences and how they relate to one another. Ask
yourself:

 Do your body paragraph sentences connect to and flow with one another?
 . Yes. They bookend the ideas that I discuss in the paragraph.
 Is each body paragraph sentence introducing a new concept or idea?
 Yes. They also build off of other ideas.
 Do the first and last sentence of your body paragraph accurately represent what you want to
argue in that paragraph?
 Yes, although they could be stronger.
 How do your paragraphs speak to each other?
 They carry the flow of the topic from one paragraph to the other.
 Are they disconnected, or do they build toward the statement you’re making in your conclusion?
 They branch off of the main idea in separate ways and come back to the thesis at
the end.
 If not, how can you rearrange or further connect each body paragraph to one another through the
first and last sentences that you have included here?
 I could include more information from the other paragraphs in each paragraph.
 How can you re-work your body paragraph sentences to more accurately express the arguments
you wish to make?
 I could make them more clear and draw more succinct conclusions.