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Contents
curated by
Hadas Goshen + Kevin Madrigal
featured artist
Zoltron | zoltron.com
a alleluja hs
rendsth
he s o lar s yst e m
I.
1
& I wonder whether people realize that
the immoral good will bury them in emptiness
& others without interdependence
II.
2 A.A. Vincent
ah Sanders
No
“He didn’t want any money,” she says with a broad smile,
“he just said,” and her tone becomes conspiratorial,
“‘Don’t lose this girl, don’t forget it either.’ And then he
just pushed his big old shopping cart down the street.”
3
toss that dirty old globe at him, regardless of its magic
powers. “Alright, alright Stell, stop waving it at me.”
4 N oa h S an de r s
suddenly serious, all of her nine-year-old attention
coming to bear. “Let’s ask where dad is and if he’s ever
coming back.”
His mom curses and her father swings his arm wildly,
striking Stella in the forehead, the corner of his watch
making contact with a fleshy thump.
Noah Sande rs 5
and red and sees Stella fall and his father, quickly too
sober for the moment, throw his arms up and bellow
like a sick animal before screaming a final “fuck you”
to their mom and charging down the stairs. He sees
Stella sitting on the ground screaming and his mom
trying not to sway saying, “Oh baby, it’ll be okay,” over
and over again.
Raoul wipes away the wetness from his face and slowly
puts the globe on the ground.
6 N oa h S an de r s
Allen
Anna
Sea Cucumbers
I dreamt last night that you were a walrus
And I had a lucrative walrus-hunting business
I wanted your tusks to make into fine jewelry
For rich wives
7
I counted
I knew I wouldn’t have the privilege of saying
It for very long
You’re not the type to let me have you
For very long
8 An n a A l l e n
lsea Davis
Che
u up?
I find them in the mornings,
the small hangovers
from last night’s needs.
Tuesday, 2:24AM, Facebook message: “U up?”
Thursday, 4:16AM, Instagram DM: “sup?”
Saturday, 11:51PM, a text: “hey How arc yoou?”
Sunday, 12:01AM, a text: “Hey can u talk otp?”
Sunday, 12:05AM, a text: “CHELS I really need to
talk to you.”
Sunday, 12:07AM: missed call.
12:10 am: missed call.
12:12AM: missed call.
12:12AM: missed call.
No voicemail.
Missed call.
9
to be the sun around which you
spun
and spun
and spun.
10 C h e ls e a Dav i s
y Alsup
Kell
G r o wth Rin g s
I remember, years ago, my first times lying with men.
Sometimes
I would not wear underwear, and this
12 K e l ly A ls up
Abe Becker
Bathing My Dad
The tubes. There were fewer than usual but only to
make closing the door possible & eliminate the risk
of cannulas funneling shower water into his lungs I
imagined drooping like punctured balloons (children’s
birthday balloons, the colors of his favorite team, of
fun & a child’s energy (he was six when the vaccine
became available, five when he caught polio (I think?
He never told me I could ask about his health which
I understood to mean BOOM!))) his lungs were faulty
boobytraps on a battlefield so wrought with despair
to choose to go there was just cruel was the opposite
of the impetus to scream ILOVEYOUILOVEME
every time he asked how I was & my silence was like
extension- cord tripping – there would be fewer cords
& tubes without cannulas
but less margin for error too, less room for Clyde Klutz
over here (one of his favorite ballplayer names) – I’m
my least clumsy at work caregiving but my clients
aren’t this precarious & not my father who would be
NAKED for the second time ever, whom I never even
hugged right or showed my writing to after he found
the first poem too crass (his semi-girlfriend post-
divorce found another about his disability on You
Tube & he called to ask if it was true (I assumed he
meant the line “he looks like a resuscitated corpse”
but he wanted to know if I really loved him “like a
13
seal loves the sun” (not often enough but awestruck
when it BOOM! (when he called I was on a work trip
with my main client who loves his dad easily as I hate
myself, & whom I had just bathed))))
14 Ab e B e c k e r
lie Osborn
Emi
Eclipsed
How could the moon eclipse the sun?
A huge gaseous ball of flames and light obscured by that
cold rock so close to Earth How could I eclipse you?
My so much bigger man—
fifty years I have lived in your shadow.
A female moon to your explosive sun.
We sparred and sometimes fought -
no winners in that Grecian war of gods—Hephastus and
Athena creating sparks.
Now we are winding down,
our fuels decreasing,
we circle round our family Earth. You, so much brighter,
me, the healer, orbitting together to our inevitable
eclipse.
15
Snowy Plovers
16 E mi l i e Os b or n
ie Cartier
Gen
Melissa
The board wasn’t showing his gate yet. That’s how early
he was. He stood there watching numbers and letters
change for a while, then he walked to the security line.
There were so few people there that he just ducked
under the ropes, the ones that were meant to delineate
the flow of the line. So people could be diverted the
way a river is diverted when humans want to create
a lake. He poured through the line quickly, slipping
off his shoes as he got closer to the machines, placing
them neatly in a grey bin next to his jacket, his keys,
his phone. No message on the screen yet from Melissa.
He nodded.
The man pulled the bag aside onto a table and opened
it, rifling through the contents. It hurt to watch his
belongings disrupted; they had all been arranged to
fit. Now the right angles were all poking each other
haphazardly.
17
“This one is over the ounce limit,” the man said, holding
up a bottle of hot sauce. He had bought it as a gift for
his mother, for her collection.
“You can check this bag, or else we’ll have to take this
away.”
18 Ge n i e Car t i e r
thought through the sequences over and over again,
but he could never understand it. It was like Melissa
was able to warp time.
Ge ni e Cart i e r 19
“I’m sorry,” the flight attendant said, “we’re out of
overhead space. You’ll have to check your bag.”
“Fine,” he said.
20 Ge n i e Car t i e r
na Donovan
Dia
Bodies at Rest
Our day of reckoning came long after we had stood
shoulder to shoulder under the same sky—with its
rays of light
21
on the day when you spoke of the dangers of
worshiping false idols
and said you would turn from me to not go against
God.
Still—wasn’t it beautiful?
The garden, the world at our feet.
22 D i an a D o n ovan
Don’t Think Twice
24 D i an a D o n ovan
n do Meisenha
r na lt
er
Fe
¡ Aj ú a! *
25
(This, incidentally, is why I never buy stuff from the
internet.)
“So,” she says, “are you in, or are you out?”
I look into her light brown norteña eyes.
“I’m in,” I say.
So we swim in the darkness of her room, through
reckless and unknown possibilities and the dangers of
ill-advised and short-term ecstasy.
“¡Ajúa!” I cry, because I’m happy and, goddamit, because
it’s good to be alive, even if you have no idea what’s
going on.
26 D i an a D o n ovan
na Chan
Sere
Origami
what I would have done
for a pair of slender collarbones
soaring gracefully above my chest
like weightless hollow bird bones
as if chanting:
just a little more,
just a little less.
I am no origami doll
fold it a little here
tuck it in there
smooth the wrinkles,
27
cut and paste
28 S e r e n a C h an
Lauren Ito
T w o P en n ie s i n
San Francisco
Flying body like a rag doll
Dressed in funeral black
Black like the bars of corner store doors and windows
Prison cells that only speaks in “ATM Inside”
Two pennies, please
29
Plastic rose bouquet fights for real estate
Wilting balloons drop their gazes
30 Laur e n I t o
More than Just Human
So now I ask
Who maimed you?
How did it happen?
Lau re n It o 31
Was it boys who pummeled your face with grimaces
at recess?
Or girls who wouldn’t dance with you because your
skin color clashed with their prom dress
Did the media that consumed you?
Until you pander to voices that can’t even pronounce
your name
My heart aches for you
For your future children
Who will one day look up at you over a bowl of
grapes
Eyes glistening
Canaries chirping
Bombs rattling in their blood
And ask,
I beg of you
Answer more than just
Human.
32 Laur e n I t o
Lessons in Love
Lau re n It o 33
Loved
And loved
And loved
34 Laur e n I t o
JC Walker
T w o Senten c e
H o r r o r St o r i e s
The knocking at the front door was insistently loud.
It startled me as I stood on the stoop looking for my keys.
37
sense of something important about to happen and it’s
all like in a dream.
38 R i c h e l l e L e e S l o ta
regulars. My size! They are gorgeous. Every important
man in the 1950’s and 60’s wore them. Nixon was an
Imperial man who wore his shoes too small.
“Five.”
Four hundred?”
“I said five.”
Ri ch e lle Le e Slota 39
“Ok, ok.”
And I can sort of see her point. Even if she’s 6 feet tall
and wears 4-inch heels, of which I strongly disapprove.
So uncalled for.
40 R i c h e l l e L e e S l o ta
“Without my foot, this is an empty shoe that can’t ever
do anything. It can’t walk by itself.” I hold up one
stockinged foot toward his face. I wiggle my toes, “My
feet are Gods!”
Ri ch e lle Le e Slota 41
42 R i c h e l l e L e e S l o ta
- november 4, 2019 -