they don't know my heart

007byul
Summary:
mingyu thinks he feels a kiss on his forehead as he drifts off, weight settling beside him in bed, and
wonders when they started sleeping in the same bed.
monday;

wonwoo groans, propping himself up against the bannister, knees weak. his arms reach around him,
unstrap the latest prototype off his back.

sleek eyes meet mingyu's, an expectant noise spilling from wonwoo's lips as wonwoo stares into his
eyes.

mingyu sighs, wonwoo will never learn.

"that was stupid," he chastises, not a hint of pity present in his tone.

wonwoo slumps, landing ass-first on the floor, and mingyu stands from his spot on wonwoo's leather
couch.

his ankle cracks as he walks over to wonwoo, sticking out a hand for wonwoo to pull himself up
with.

"you're stupid."

mingyu's eyes soften when wonwoo grins that stupid smile of his, untrustworthy and unreliable and
absolutely promising that the moment mingyu lets him go, he's going to go running back to his
workstation, fixing his blueprints, scratching out parts that failed in this test run. it's wonwoo's
greatest strength, that smile of his, and mingyu's biggest weakness.

wonwoo will let nothing stop him from taking to the skies, even if nature's trying its very best to
quell his efforts. he refuses to accept it as an omen, citing tesla's unwavering spirit to achieve his
dreams.

you're not tesla, mingyu said once, wrapping a bandage over wonwoo's bicep, for one, he died a
virgin.

tuesday;

mingyu opens his eyes to a cold spot on the bed.

he can make out oil stains on the bedsheets beside him, wonders if wonwoo went to bed without
showering again. they've had this talk dozens of times, about hygiene and going to bed at a
reasonable time.

he huffs out a breath, pulling the covers closer to him, balling them under his body.

they smell like sadness, disappointment and wonwoo.

(wonwoo slips into bed early tonight, letting mingyu fit his head into the crook of his neck and
holding mingyu close, mingyu thinks it's an apology.)

wednesday;
mingyu still laughs when he remembers how wonwoo had introduced the couch as the casting couch.
that doesn't compare to the way his heart flutters when he remembers how wonwoo's lips had split
over his teeth in a smile when mingyu raised his eyebrows.

wonwoo is unused to people laughing at his jokes. hell, he's unused to people. mingyu's the only one
who's been able to break through his barriers, see wonwoo without his welding goggles, or in a warm
pressed suit and not shabby rags and overalls.

wonwoo's guarded to the extent that mingyu doesn't think he knows him sometimes. he knows he
comes second to wonwoo's flying machine, knew from the day wonwoo asked him to move in, but
that's not any consolation whatsoever.

wonwoo leaves small bits of himself all over the house, discarded blueprints with his languid
handwriting all over them in the bathroom, copies of keys to kickstart his machine hanging off the
doorknobs, uncapped pens slotted in between books in the study.

mingyu doesn't know how half the things get there, but they serve as comfort when the real wonwoo
cannot.

thursday;

don't fall in love with me, i'll hurt you.

that was what he had said after their first time, moving off mingyu with a ragged sort of grace,
mingyu had felt his heart explode then. (it wasn't from the orgasm wonwoo had given him, wasn't
any of the hot kisses he had showered on mingyu's neck, wasn't any of that.)

i'm not looking for someone to love, you shouldn't find one in me. we're just roommates.

don't fall in love with him, he's not worth it.

don't fall in love with him, he's selfish and won't treat you well.

don't fall in love with him, he doesn't care about you.

mingyu thinks he feels a kiss on his forehead as he drifts off, weight settling beside him in bed, and
wonders when they started sleeping in the same bed.

friday;

"move," wonwoo grunts, shoving roughly past mingyu.

some part of him flares up, and he grabs wonwoo's shirt.

"don't talk to me like that," he snarls, lip curling over his top row of teeth.

wonwoo doesn't seem to catch the hostility in mingyu's voice, chuckles lowly, infuriatingly, mingyu
wants to scream at him. "how do you want me to address you?"

mingyu grits his teeth, "i'm sorry, but you haven't talked to me for a full day and this is the first thing
you say to me? move? maybe you should-"

"is this about that?" wonwoo smiles, cocksure of himself. mingyu spots grease on his cheek, hates
that he wants to kiss him. "is this what this is all about? me not talking to you?"

this is what mingyu wants to say: it's this and so much more. it's the fact that i'm in love with you,
that i love you in a way that you can't reciprocate. it's that i want to be with you and that i'm sick and
tired of playing second fiddle to your machine. it's that when i look at you, i feel like i finally belong
somewhere. i could fly with you if you wanted, but i don't want you to prioritize the machine over me.
what can it do that i can't? is it because i'm human and difficult and emotional? i can change, if you
want.

this is what he actually says: "i'm tired."

"go to bed," wonwoo replies, voice stiff, "things will be okay after you go to bed." he's trying to run
away from the situation again, make sure that mingyu can't corner him.

"why do you waste so much time on a machine?"

you're never going to fly.

wonwoo swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

"get out of my room."

"wonwoo, i-"

"i said get out."

saturday

wonwoo knows all there is to know about him. he knows that mingyu steals his shirts from his closet
whenever wonwoo doesn't go to bed with him, that mingyu likes getting neck kisses, that he likes the
worn way paperbacks feel in his hands, which is why their bookshelves have no hardcovers.
he knows everything but the only thing mingyu can't tell him.

mingyu rolls up the latest blueprint, something catching his eye as he snaps a rubberband on the roll.
there are notes in the corners, little thoughts wonwoo had had while working on his machine.

his breath catches.

cooling system needs to be upgraded.

inventor's fair: 19th jan '17. work hard!

go to bed at 11 today, mingyu needs you.

he talks in his sleep, stupid. does he know i know?

he got angry at me today. he doesn't know my heart.

i'm sorry i don't love you.

sunday

"why do you waste so much time on a machine?"

"it's my dream," wonwoo says quietly.

monday

wonwoo groans, propping himself up against the bannister, knees weak. his arms reach around him,
unstrap the latest prototype off his back.
sleek eyes meet mingyu's, an expectant noise spilling from wonwoo's lips as wonwoo stares into his
eyes.

mingyu sighs, he will never learn.

 Throw Away Your Emotions
NeonNitrogen
Summary:
Wonwoo had never been the type of guy to give into peer pressure. Always liked to walk his own
path and do what he felt was personally right. But you can only be so strong for so long, especially
when there was something within reach that could make all his troubles disappear.

(A story where Mingyu learns the hard way that even when you think you've been doing everything
right, doesn't mean that nothing could end up wrong.)
Notes:
(See the end of the work for notes.)

Wonwoo’s blank eyes stared into worried ones, and it was then that Mingyu knew that everything in
the world was sick, twisted, and wrong.

Every choice he had made up to this point had been worthless and meaningless and absolutely,
positively wrong.

-------------------

Mingyu was 23 and scared. Not necessarily for himself, but for society. For everyone who was
walking around clueless to what their decisions were doing to themselves and to the world.

Mingyu remembers when it hadn’t been like this. When emotions had been something to celebrate
and enjoy. Not to repress and ignore.

It had started as a sort of fad, and people had only started to take part because of the novelty of it.

The drug had popped up without much warning, just one day appearing in the pockets of the evil and
greedy. They sold for big bucks; so rare that they had merely started as a rumor, no one truly
believing that there was an underground drug that could cause you to lose your emotions.

The majority of people who could get their hands on it would try it just to try it. To see for
themselves if the drug actually did take away all your emotions. The worst part was that it worked.

It was soon after the rumors had just barely started to reach a level of more casual word of mouth
exchanges that the government caught whiff and did what they did best; sieged it all for themselves
and used it for their own agenda.

What used to be labeled an illegal and highly dangerous drug was now encouraged. Propaganda
popped up seemingly out of nowhere, spouting to the masses the benefits and reasons as to why you
should be taking the drug.
This has never been confirmed, but Mingyu had many theories as to why the government was so
adamant for the drug to be used by the general public. With no emotions, no one would care about
ethics or morals anymore. Scientific breakthroughs would be at an all time high. Their military would
be free to use and explore all range of tactics without public drawback. Those were only just a few
examples of the things the government would be able to do if the public had fallen victim to what it
was encouraging.

It wasn’t until the government had cornered and captured parents interest that the general public had
really started to accept the idea of the pills into their everyday lives.

Ironically, it had been the last thread of morals left that was in the way of a moral free world.
Concerned parents worried for their children's well-being and about the drawbacks that could happen
if they did take the pills.

But large and bold messages targeted parents’ weak spots, promising that if you gave them to your
children that all your worries would disappear. Your stir crazy and crying toddler would no longer
want to cry or to lash out. Your unruly teenagers would no longer feel the need or want to sneak out
at night, to break rules and laws. They would be obedient and would sit through their studies and
become the perfect well mannered kids their parents could only dream they would be.

But the absolute worst part about it was that the pills were addictive.

Not in the typical sense, where your body would literally crave the drug. This time around, it was
your mind that would crave it. Too lost in a world that was suddenly too colorful, beyond their
comfortably limited spectrum of black and white that they had grown use to.

All those preteens who had been forced onto the pills for any length of time forgot what it was like to
feel. Forgot what emotions felt like. So even if the children had somehow held onto any sort of sense
of freedom to emotions and tried to get off the pills, they would inevitably change their minds.
Missing the blissful state that came from being numb to your emotions.

The sudden onslaught from not taking the pills scared them. Frightened them back into the safe hole
that was their emotionless minds. Life was easier that way.

But most of all. Even though society was slowly losing it’s own humanity and Mingyu was helpless
to stop it, he couldn’t help but truly and ultimately be afraid for what Wonwoo had become.

-------------------

Mingyu remembers the first night Wonwoo had showed him the small, nearly translucent pills. It was
just so unnatural to Mingyu, who held the pill high in the air, fascinated that he was able to see the
light from behind the small pill pinched between his fingers.

They were 13 and young. They were rambunctious boys that not even the world could stop from
fooling around and seeking mischief.
“Your parents bought these for you?” questioned Mingyu, his young mind overly curious.

Wonwoo nodded solemnly. “Yeah, they said they will help with school.”

Mingyu retracted his hand and gave Wonwoo a funny look. “Help with school? How could
something so small help you with school?”

Wonwoo just shrugs and reaches out his hand to take back the lone pill. “They tried to explain but I
didn’t really understand. Said something about how it’s suppose to make me calmer. But they said
that it’s up to me if I want to take them though.”

Mingyu sent Wonwoo a wistful look. “Dang, your parents are so cool. Letting you make choices for
yourself. Mine won’t even let me have chocolate cereal for breakfast.”

Wonwoo couldn’t help but giggle a bit at Mingyu. “Yeah, but that’s because they know that that
is all you would eat if you could.”

Mingyu laughed because he knew that Wonwoo was right.

Wonwoo was playing a bit with the pill, rolling it between his thumb and pointer finger when
something Wonwoo had said struck Mingyu.

“But what do they mean by calmer? You’re already the calmest person I know!” exaggerated
Mingyu, flinging his arms into the air for emphasis.

Wonwoo suddenly looked at Mingyu, his face an odd mixture of surprise and disbelief. “The
calmes— I dunno about that Mingyu! I can be pretty uncalm if I want!”

And with that, Wonwoo sprung up to tackle Mingyu, trying to show by example just how uncalm he
could be.

All it really did was leave the boys in a mess of limbs, both of their laughs resounding off the walls
of Wonwoo’s room.

The boys untangled themselves when the moment passed, and Mingyu watched as Wonwoo returned
to his spot on the floor. Wonwoo’s eyes widened suddenly when he noticed the carelessly discarded
pill. He quickly picked it up before returning it to the orange bottle from where it came from.

A small silence fell between the young boys, their earlier jokes now put aside. These were adult
matters they were dealing with and they both could feel the true weight of what the pills signified.

“....You’re not going to take it, right?” asked Mingyu, his voice meek and hushed.

Mingyu was answered by silence. He looked up, wondering what was keeping Wonwoo from
answering, only to be greeted by the boy’s eyes already staring intensely at him. His face held a look
that no 13 year old should have any right to bare.
A few more seconds ticked by, their connected stares passing along information that the other wasn’t
even aware they were sending.

Finally, Wonwoo scoffed, and the pressure was lifted.

“No way,” answered Wonwoo as he got up off the ground. With determined steps, Wonwoo marched
over to his rarely used desk before pulling open the drawer, deposited the pill bottle into the farthest
corner and slammed the drawer shut with finality.

Wonwoo looked back at Mingyu expectantly. Mingyu just beamed up at Wonwoo, who smiled just
as wide back.

They were 13 and too young to realize that even though they thought they were in charge and in a
position of power, it really wasn’t the case.

-------------------

They were 15 and growing into their rapidly growing bodies and personalities. The two of them still
hung out just as often, but Wonwoo had stopped voicing his opinions as often. To Mingyu’s young
mind, he really didn’t notice as much as he probably could have if he was older. They were both
growing up and things were bound to change. Just like how Wonwoo was becoming less vocal,
Mingyu was becoming more outspoken.

Mingyu figured that they were mirroring each other in a way; as one quieted, the other become
louder. When you’re friends with someone for as long as they were, you started to understand things
about each other without needing to verbally communicate it. Mingyu could read Wonwoo’s physical
clues better than anyone, and he took pride in the fact that he basically knew what Wonwoo was
thinking nowadays without being directly told.

They were currently hanging out at the park near Wonwoo’s place, both seated on the only 2 swings
available. Mingyu was kicking hard, throwing all his weight into getting as high as he could, while
Wonwoo was barely rocking in his seat, drawing small circles in the sand with the toe of his shoe.

“Mingyu..,” called Wonwoo, voice quiet. But Mingyu’s been trained, so he heard and stopped his
vigorous swinging just so he could pay attention to what Wonwoo had to say.

It was when Mingyu was fully stopped that Wonwoo continued.

“My parents aren’t happy with me.” Wonwoo kept his gaze low and on his circles, his foot
continuously swinging to make new ones.

“What do you mean?” asked Mingyu instantly, his voice concerned. Wonwoo’s parents were pretty
cool in Mingyu’s opinion. They weren’t too strict and they weren’t too laid back. And Wonwoo was
almost a model child except for when Mingyu could rope him into doing any of his spontaneous
ideas. So to hear that they were mad at Wonwoo was something that actually caused concern to raise
in Mingyu’s chest.
“They weren’t happy to hear that I still don’t want to take those pills.” Wonwoo’s voice was quiet,
nearly a whisper, “I don’t like how they make me feel.”

Even though Mingyu was just a mere 15 year old, he wasn’t oblivious or stupid. He’s seen the news,
and was able to connect that the pills that were going around were the ones Wonwoo had shown him
a few years earlier. They were becoming more popular, but Mingyu’s parents weren’t a fan, so
neither was Mingyu.

“They made you take them?!” shouted Mingyu, jumping out of his swing to stand in front of
Wonwoo. The boy looked up, startled at Mingyu’s outburst.

Wonwoo’s eyes were wide and scared. Mingyu wasn’t sure if it was only because of him yelling, or
if it was because of the impending wrath of his parents. All he knew was that he hated it when
Wonwoo was scared.

Mingyu reached out, taking Wonwoo’s still slightly puffy cheeks (baby fat still hanging on
stubbornly) in between his hands. It caused Wonwoo’s lips to scrunch together a bit, causing fish
lips, but the scared look was now gone, replaced with eyes wide with wonder.

“Listen Wonwoo,” said Mingyu, leaning in close so there was nothing left for Wonwoo to even try to
look at besides him, “Don’t ever take them if you don’t like how they make you feel. You should
have control over your own body and your parents shouldn’t force you to do something you don’t
want to do.”

It may have just been Mingyu’s naturally unruly and slightly rebellious personality talking, but what
he was saying was what Mingyu truly believed.

Wonwoo stared at Mingyu, eyes no longer wide. He seemed to be reading Mingyu, just like how
Mingyu could read Wonwoo sometimes when it comes to what he wants and how he was feeling.
But Mingyu wasn’t really sure what Wonwoo was seeing that he wasn’t saying, since he was being
very outspoken about what he thought.

It was after a long pause that Wonwoo finally replied, “You’re right, Mingyu.”

Satisfied, Mingyu finally let go of Wonwoo’s face. He nodded once, happy to see that Wonwoo
agreed. “And if they try to give you shit about it, I’ll just have to steal you away, so that they can’t
force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Wonwoo looked at Mingyu scandalized, “Mingyu! You shouldn’t say bad words!”

And with that, the topic of Wonwoo’s pills was dropped and forgotten. No longer a problem in
Mingyu’s eyes.

-------------------
Mingyu was 19 and had grown into his body almost too well. He had sprung up to stand in the top
percentile of people, which came as no surprise to anyone, having already been a taller child. His
body filled out wonderfully, just enough meat in all the right places. Wonwoo hadn’t been too far
behind, also tall and filled out well. He was a tad bit skinnier than Mingyu, but his face had long ago
lost the puffiness in his cheeks, face angular and eyes sharp.

Wonwoo was currently sitting on Mingyu’s bed, nose deep in a book and attention drawn solely to it.
Mingyu was sitting at the foot of the same bed, their legs tangled together casually in the middle.
Mingyu had his laptop in his lap as he typed away, a mild scowl prominent on his face.

A few minutes passed, the only sound filling the room was the clicking of the keyboard as Mingyu
rushed to finish an essay for their history final. Graduation was rapidly approaching and Mingyu had
never been good with deadlines. Or doing homework. So here he was, trying to finish last minute.

Mingyu groaned lowly, scratching at the back of head roughly, making a mess of his hair. Wonwoo
hummed lowly in acknowledgment, eyes still glued to his book. Mingyu looked up just in time to
watch Wonwoo push his round glasses back up his nose, the ones that Wonwoo had grown fond of
wearing in the last year of school.

Mingyu took in Wonwoo for a few seconds more before groaning again, this time much louder and a
lot more whiny. At that, Wonwoo flicked his eyes up to Mingyu, humming once again, but this time
in question.

Mingyu placed his laptop to the side before crawling over to Wonwoo’s side of the bed, turning his
head so that he could look at the pages Wonwoo was reading. Wonwoo eyed Mingyu pointedly as he
made his way over, not saying anything until Mingyu flopped onto the bed, laying almost flush with
Wonwoo’s side.

“Did you finish your essay?” asked Wonwoo, returning his attention to his book.

Mingyu groaned a final time, rubbing his face into Wonwoo’s shoulder. “Please let me take a break,
the words are starting to swim in my eyes. I can’t even focus on the words in your book.”

Wonwoo brought one hand up to pat Mingyu’s head sympathetically, letting Mingyu mope into his
shoulder. Mingyu took a few moments, just breathing in Wonwoo, letting his familiar scent calm his
nerves.

Mingyu heard Wonwoo turn to a new page before he finally pulled away, pout now prominent on his
face. Unwillingly, Mingyu felt a small pang of sadness in his chest at Wonwoo not giving him as
much attention as he wanted.

But it wasn’t like it was something new. Wonwoo had grown to be quite independent, easily finding
things to do on his own when Mingyu hadn’t been as available as he used to be when they were
younger.

But for some reason, his nonchalance towards Mingyu’s presence was getting to him today.
So he pressed his head back into Wonwoo’s shoulder before rubbing his face back and forth, forcing
Wonwoo’s body to jostle a bit on the bed.

“Mingyu..,” spoke up Wonwoo, “What are you doing?”

Mingyu pulled his face away, his hair even more of a mess than what it was before burrowing into
Wonwoo’s shoulder.

“Let’s do something,” said Mingyu, ignoring Wonwoo’s question.

Wonwoo took in Mingyu’s messy hair and wide smile before sighing a bit and placing his book
down to the side. “What would you like to do, Mingyu?”

A mischievous smile overcame Mingyu's face when a wonderful idea came to mind. Without
warning, Mingyu pounced and pushed Wonwoo’s shoulders down to the bed, forcing a small gasp
out of Wonwoo.

For a few seconds, the two of them skirmish a bit on the bed, causing Wonwoo’s book to fall off and
onto the floor with a loud thunk. Mingyu was laughing, all the while trying to pin Wonwoo to the
bed. Wonwoo couldn’t help but grunt a bit from the struggle, trying hard to get all of Mingyu’s bulk
off the top of him.

But after just a few seconds, Wonwoo suddenly stilled below him. Mingyu had made it to where he
was straddling Wonwoo’s hips, but the fact that Wonwoo had stopped fighting back caused Mingyu
to stop too, a little breathless from laughing.

Mingyu looked down at Wonwoo, his hands pressing down on Wonwoo’s shoulders, keeping him
pinned to the bed even though Wonwoo was no longer trying to escape.

“I win?” questioned out Mingyu.

“What are you doing, Mingyu?” asked Wonwoo, his glasses dangerous askew and nearly off his face.

“What do you mean what am I doing? We were wresting,” the playful banter in Mingyu’s voice was
starting to fall away after really taking in Wonwoo’s expression. He didn’t look nearly as amused
about all this as Mingyu had been. “We use to do this all the time.”

“Yeah. When we were kids,” said Wonwoo pointedly.

Mingyu couldn’t help but frown at Wonwoo’s tone. “What’s your deal?” asked Mingyu, mood
quickly souring.

“Just get off me, you asshole. I don’t like you being this close.”
Mingyu had grown to be many things as he got older. Just like how Wonwoo’s personality had
morphed over time, Mingyu’s own had matured and changed. But there was this one thing he was
trying hard to work past, and it was his hot temper.

“Asshole?” muttered out Mingyu, like he couldn’t quite believe what Wonwoo had just said. “Being
this close? Dude, since when did me touching you bother you?”

“For a long fucking time now actually,” snapped back Wonwoo, “So just get the fuck off me.”

Mingyu’s eyes darkened with anger. Since when did Wonwoo start acting this way? Had he really
hated it as much as he said he did?

Instantly, all real rational thought left Mingyu’s mind. Wonwoo’s confession was the final straw,
finally making the pile of things Mingyu had started to notice about Wonwoo and their staining
friendship too heavy to bare.

He hated the idea of Wonwoo hiding things from him. He hated the idea that Wonwoo was starting to
distance himself from Mingyu, whether he really knew he was doing it or not. He hated that their
friendship was apparently waning to the point that he could no longer read Wonwoo as well as he
used to.

And Mingyu had no idea what to do now with Wonwoo’s admission. It caused a storm of emotions
to swirl in his mind, and it was making Mingyu almost dizzy. Wonwoo’s words had cut deep since
Mingyu wasn't use to actually fighting with Wonwoo.

In that moment, all Mingyu’s mind allowed him to process was that he was hurt, so it was only right
to make Wonwoo hurt too . Force him to feel just as bad as Mingyu was suddenly feeling. So he did
what his mind said was right to do, and decided to take it out on Wonwoo in any way he could.
Mingyu couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow, a sadistic smirk appearing on his face. “ Oh? You really
hate me touching you? Do you hate it now?”

And without warning, Mingyu lined up their hips and ground down as hard as he could. A sudden
gasp came out of Wonwoo’s mouth before he flashed his eyes down to their connected crotches.

If Mingyu’s mind hadn’t been so clouded, he would have known how wrong his actions were. How
violating he was being in that moment. But Mingyu was upset and mad and all he could think was
‘Wonwoo apparently hates it when you touch him, so touch him in the most personal way possible’.

Wonwoo seemed to be in a small state of shock, words failing him. Taking advantage of Wonwoo’s
inability to act, Mingyu ground down once again, still not quite realizing what he was really doing
through his anger.

Now that had seemed to kick start Wonwoo’s mind, who suddenly bucked up under Mingyu, trying
to get Mingyu off him.

“What the fuck?!” yelled Wonwoo, words sounding almost pained.

But Mingyu weighed more than Wonwoo and he was staying firmly in place. It wasn’t until Mingyu
got out a few more deep ruts that Wonwoo finally looked back up to Mingyu’s face.

It was the look on Wonwoo’s face that brought him back to reality. It held prominently shock and
anger. But what had made it past the barriers Mingyu had put up in his anger was the fear in his eyes.

Wonwoo looked scared. His face was flushed with a small blush and he looked absolutely terrified.
Mingyu hated it when Wonwoo was scared. And the fact that Mingyu was the reason why Wonwoo
was looking at him like this, eyes fearful and glistening with borderline tears, was the thing that
finally brought Mingyu out of his angry storm.
And like a screeching crash, Mingyu was hit hard by just what he was doing. That he had just
fucking sexually assaulted Wonwoo. His best friend. The closest person he had in his life. And he
just fucking betrayed him in ways that a best friend should have never done, no matter how mad he
had been.

Wonwoo took advantage of Mingyu’s revelation to finally shove him off, causing Mingyu to hit the
bed hard. When he looked up, he barely saw the tail end of Wonwoo running out of his room, the
door slamming loudly behind him as he made his exit.

In the sudden quiet all Mingyu could hear was his heart pounding in his chest, too loud in the
suddenly empty room.

-------------------

If Mingyu had the ability to look back at his life, somehow organized into nice little chopped up
chapters, he might have seen this coming. But life wasn’t like that, and all change happened
gradually. It happened secretively and without warning, and you only end up realizing something has
actually changed until you had a defined spot to compare it too.

Mingyu was presently staring at that defined spot, and it hurt so much. 22 years of his life was spread
out in front of him and it took something like this to finally realize what had been staring him right in
the face for years.

His revelation came in the form of a present given to him by his parents. They had recently done
some intense rummaging into their old memories stuffed in closets, and ended up digging out years
of collected photographs. And for Mingyu’s 23rd birthday, they had made it into a beautiful put
together scrapbook and gave to him as a present.

The scrapbook was ordered in timeline sequence, starting from when he was a baby, all the way to
almost present. the last photo was taken about a month earlier when he had gotten hired at his dream
job as an elementary school art teacher.

After flipping through it a few times, Mingyu noticed that over the years, there was only one thing
that was consistent, and it had been Wonwoo at his side. Seeing his best friend as a tiny 10-year-old
had brought a fond smile to his face, which stuck for the duration of him flipping through the first
few pages of the scrapbook.
It was his third time flipping through the scrapbook and he decided to focus on Wonwoo this time
around. It wasn’t until he had reached around age 15 that Mingyu started to notice something off. It
was a minuscule thing. Something that came about so naturally that the Mingyu of the time had never
even entertained the thought that Mingyu was having right now.

But he was noticing it now. Wasn’t Wonwoo smiling less?

Mingyu couldn’t help but scrunch his face up into something in the spectrum of confusion and a
scowl. He couldn’t have been right.

But a quick flip back to the beginning confirmed Mingyu’s newly settling fears. At a young age,
Wonwoo would smile without restraint. But in the 15 years of age photos, they had become smaller
and a little more rare to see.

Some might have considered that it just looked like he had grown shy and that’s what Mingyu had
started to reason with himself. Hadn’t he already known that Wonwoo had become shyer over the
years?

But now. The thought was in his mind. An idea seeded into his brain that maybe, maybe it wasn’t just
shyness. That Wonwoo’s closing up to the world and to Mingyu had come about with the help of
something less natural than just personality development and puberty.

And as Mingyu started to turn the pages and got farther down the timeline of his and Wonwoo’s life,
he saw it.

Not only were Wonwoo’s smiles diminishing, it was the other spectrum of emotions that were
disappearing too.

The tear stained face of a scared Wonwoo after getting out of their very first haunted house had
greeted Mingyu somewhere around age 14, but by age 20, there weren't any signs of emotion. All
that was left from 21 and on were small, polite smiles. Only done as an act for the camera.

Mingyu shut the book with a heavy, resounding thud. His heart was hurting, pounding, and he knew
he couldn’t rest until he clarified this with Wonwoo himself.

----------------------

Mingyu had called to see if Wonwoo was available to come over that night, something Wonwoo had
easily agreed to. It was when they were settled into their usual spots on Mingyu’s couch that Mingyu
finally spoke up.

“Wonwoo…,” began Mingyu, his voice weary but unwilling to beat around the bush, “did you start
taking those pills?”
Wonwoo looked over at Mingyu, his face heart-wrenchingly blank. Mingyu couldn’t help but ask
himself, had it always been like that? This must have been a recent development. How could Mingyu
go on with his daily life for so long without noticing something so vital?
“What do you mean, Mingyu?” asked Wonwoo. Had Wonwoo’s voice always been so even?
So emotionless?
“ The pills. The one’s your parents tried to get you to take a long time ago,” explained Mingyu. He
could only hope that Wonwoo was acting clueless because he actually didn’t know about any pills.

The subject of the pills would be brought up sporadically during their lifetime, and Mingyu wouldn’t
shy away from telling Wonwoo just how opposed he was to the idea of losing your emotions. But the
topic of Wonwoo’s personal prescription of pills had only come up a handful of times when they
were kids, and when Wonwoo had stopped bringing them up all together, Mingyu had assumed that
they were out of the picture.

Mingyu had never even entertained the idea that Wonwoo would have kept them, let alone wanted to
take the pills after all.

“I know what pills you’re talking about,” started Wonwoo, his eyes now drifting off to some corner
of the room, like he couldn’t be bothered to keep his full attention on Mingyu for too long, “I was
wondering what you meant by ‘start’.”

Mingyu’s heart dropped. Hit rock bottom somewhere deep in his stomach, but must have somehow
bounced back up to lodge deep into his throat, since Mingyu had suddenly lost his ability to speak.

Mingyu swallowed thickly, cleared his throat, and kept his eyes trained on Wonwoo and only
Wonwoo.

“Alright, I’ll rephrase then. When did you start taking those pills?” Mingyu’s voice sounded hoarse
with emotions even to his own ears.

Wonwoo’s wondering gaze had settled back on Mingyu and he couldn’t help but fear what he saw.
What he didn’t see.

“I think I started taking them regularly a few years ago? I can’t remember exactly when I finally fully
committed,” casually answered Wonwoo, like he was just asked what the weather had been like a
week ago.

This was too much information to digest. The room seemed like it was starting to spin at the corners
of Mingyu’s vision and Wonwoo was sitting too casually on the other end of his couch.

How could he not realize? He wanted to yell. Scream. Fight. Do something to show just how upset
he was that Wonwoo had apparently been on those pills for years.
And never told Mingyu.

But he’s had his fair share of dealing with those who were on the pills. And he knew that he would
get absolutely nowhere by yelling at someone who felt no emotions.
“ Why? ” choked out Mingyu. His voice sounded raw, almost like he had just finished screaming. He
honestly wished that that was the case.

Wonwoo’s eyes bore deep into his own. But with a small tilt of his head, he answered, “Because I
realized I loved you. And I couldn’t deal with that back then. It’s much easier now.”

The admission was hard to swallow. A heart wrenching, tilt of the earth kind of realization. There
were so many questions running through Mingyu’s head. Wonwoo had loved him? He loved him and
never told him? Wonwoo’s feelings had been so overwhelming that he ended up turning to those
pills?

But one last question flitted across his mind that rocked Mingyu’s core and soul.

Mingyu was the reason why Wonwoo couldn’t feel emotions anymore?

Without thinking, Mingyu leaned over and reached out across the expanse of the couch so he could
grab a hold of Wonwoo’s hand, easily lacing their fingers together. Mingyu had always sought out
Wonwoo’s warmth for comfort during their friendship together. The movement had been as natural
as it had been for him back when they were 13, and the warmth of Wonwoo’s palm against his own
helped a bit. But had Wonwoo always sat this far from him?

But instead of any of those questions, Mingyu had finally forced out the only one he really wanted to
get an answer to.

“And do you love me now?”

Wonwoo hummed a bit before standing up from the couch, creating distance between the two and
forcing Mingyu’s hand to pull out of Wonwoo’s own. It was with his back to Mingyu that he finally
answered.

“I don’t feel anything, so no, I don’t.”

 The Railroad
Mokii
Summary:
Wonwoo admitted that he has haunted by a cute creature, the emo boy also quite often heard strange
voice in his head. Mingyu, Jeonghan and Seokmin immediately trying to find out the cause, until
Mingyu almost lost something important thing in his life, his amore.
Notes:
(See the end of the work for notes.)

There you are

I just can’t stop
Haven’t you realized that if my heart is just for you, my darling?
.
.
.
.

“Wonwoo-ah!” A black haired student winked and a bit surprised as his friend was calling him for a
few times, he spaced out.

‘That voice again’ he thought and breathe.

‘Literally, it's not come from me.
What’s that?’ His vision caught a blonde long haired who stood in front of his table, many times he
slapped the black haired lightly.

“Let’s go, you’re the one who want to visit Soonyoung from other day” he mumbled and Wonwoo
just smiled. He nodded and took his bag, suddenly two good-looking student walked in and stood
beside the black haired.

“Hey Wonwoo-hyung!” he greeted the black haired “Let’s go! Soonyoung really want to meet you”
said the brown haired one. Wonwoo seems didn’t pay attention and he had been spaced out again.
Another blue haired face get closer to the older and patted his cheek softly, it was successfully made
Wonwoo back to life.

“What did you say?” Wonwoo said as he startled with the blue haired student, their face really close.
The black haired black stepped back as the blue haired student giving him confused look. “What’s
wrong, Mingyu?”

.
.

You leave me alone

I really want to meet you so badly
.
.
.
.

Wonwoo covered his ears as another words were appeared, Mingyu, brown and blonde haired
student stared each other confused. Wonwoo was thinking about something, the whispers again. He
quite often heard someone was crying, whispering even he felt had been watched by someone
recently. All of it made Wonwoo going crazy, he wondered what happening with him, but he didn’t
want to tell it to anyone. Perhaps the hallucination came from his low health condition.

“You seems not well, just go home and be careful, Wonwoo-ah” the blonde long haired added as he
walking out, followed by the two good-looking student behind him. Mingyu turned his face and saw
Wonwoo had been spaced out again, not long Wonwoo shook his head and turned his head to
doorstep. No one, Wonwoo walked out from the class and saw them walking not too far.

“Jeonghan-hyung!” three students stopped and turned their head to Wonwoo. The blonde haired or
Jeonghan frowned, Wonwoo walked to them in hurry.

“What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asked, the younger show cute smile.

“Can I have your phone for text Joshua hyung? I forgot to borrow my phone, I want to inform him if
I’ll come home late for buy some groceries” Jeonghan nodded as he gave his phone to Wonwoo, the
blonde long haired boy smiled happily that because he secretly had big crush on the black haired
cousin. But he frowned, the black haired had been spaced out, rarely talk than usual even cover his
ears while hold back his tears recently.

“Wonwoo-ah, are you okay?” Wonwoo returned the older's phone back, he frowned at the older.
Mingyu and the brown haired student just watched them inn confused “You’re rarely talk, space out
and cover your ears in sudden. Do you have problem with your noona or parent?” Wonwoo shook his
head.

“Nothing” he smiled, Jeonghan sighed “Thank you, I’m going now. Mingyu, Seokmin, say hi and I
miss you to Soonyoung” the black haired said as he patted Mingyu and Seokmin shoulder.

“I’m sure, there was something wrong with him” Jeonghan murmured, Seokmin and Mingyu just
shrugged their shoulder, Jeonghan sighed as he opened map on his phone.

“Seokmin, you haven't told us where Soonyoung was hospitalizing” Seokmin patted his forehead, he
walked to the older as he noticed if Wonwoo aren't alone.
 000

Wonwoo walking around in supermarket, he was finding what he needs and he has got some
groceries he needed. He stopped in front of meat shelves, he stared at a packing meat which seemed
nice choices for dinner plus the meat packing was only one left.

His hand directed to the meat packing but he stopped while a man already touch the meat packing.
Their hand touched and the black haired decided handed it to the man.

“You’re the one who take it first” Wonwoo said and smiled awkwardly.

“So… You’re a senior high school student?” the man asked, Wonwoo nodded “Do you know Chuck
& Choi Café?” Wonwoo shook his head lightly “If you have some time, come to Chuck & Choi Café
and I’ll I'll give you a discount, the discount is only valid for cute high school student” Wonwoo
shivered, the man was shorter than him but he’s pretty muscular and has scary stares. “What’s your
name, cutie?”

“W-Wonwoo” Wonwoo replied.

“I’m Choi Seungcheol, nice to meet you. By the way, let me pay your groceries”

How dare you touch him

How dare…
How
Dare
Yo-

Wonwoo covered his ears quickly, the voice was came again, he bit bottom his lips and amost make
them bleed. The black haired walked directionless until he fell. His groceries were spreaded on the
floor, he realized if he was bumped into someone.

“Oh my god, are you okay Wonwoo-ah?” the voice was familiar for Wonwoo “Are you alone here?
Seulgi unnie will kill you if you not home now and-” the person stopped as he noticed Seungcheol
who was standing not too far from them.

“Irene?” Irene walked to him while Wonwoo has a bad feeling, she punched Seungcheol on the face,
Wonwoo gasped as he didn’t expected Irene was that strong. Seungcheol wiped his bloody nose and
chuckled.

“One! Don’t you dare call me without ‘noona’, two! Don’t say if you promote the café with your
filthy trick! Three! Stop teasing over innocent people, you jerk!” she pulled the younger right ear.
“O-O-uch! No! It’s hurt! S-Sorry noona!” Irene let go Seungcheol, he stroked his ear “What a
coincidence, cute people always near me” Irene frowned as she realized that Wonwoo still stood
watching them.

“H-hey Wonwoo, you’re still here? Pay the groceries immediately and I’ll drive you home, let’s go
your home and leave that bastard ahjussi here” Irene said while Wonwoo nodded and followed the
older.

“You’re older than me, then you’re an old-hagbhgh!” Seungcheol can felt hurt from his mouth, Irene
threw him an onion.

000

The atmosphere in Wowoo’s house was fairly calm even thought a little awkwardness among them.
A brown haired good-looking guy sat beside Wonwoo and bowed his head, there’s a grumpy girl
who stood in front of them with laid his hands on her hips.

“So, Joshua. Mind you tell me about Wonwoo who buy the groceries? About a week ago, I had asked
you for buy groceries!”

“You aren’t give me the cash, Seulgi noona” Seulgi, the angry woman shook his head.

“Then why don’t you ask me, Joshua?”

“On that time, I’m busy-”

“Busy to meet your fucking ex-”

“Seulgi, your language”

“Shut up Irene unnie-”

“Seulgi noona you don’t understand” the atmosphere was getting rise up, Wonwoo gulped with the
older argument. He want to tidy the groceries but before he stand, Seulgi was pulled the groceries.
Seulgi sent Wonwoo a sign if he should go to his room, she also told Irene to go to her room.

Wonwoo living with his older sister and cousin, his parent was busy with their business and Joshua
was asked by Seulgi for living together with her for help her anything, besides Wonwoo is busy with
his school. Joshua is a vocal coach and has a vocal course, the place isn’t too far from his cousin's
school.
Wonwoo felt his sister was different than usual, she getting lost her temper recently even though
Wonwoo didn’t mind about that. Joshua also the one who never complained of anything or dare to
reply Seulgi’s words even though he was the one who made a mistake, but a few minutes ago.

The black haired laid his body on the bed, he stared at the ceiling blankly. Seungcheol’s face
suddenly appeared in his mind, he never meet a guy like that before. He was pretty handsome and
muscular, he also made him comfortable. Wonwoo shook his head as he decided to distract his
thought from Seungcheol to other.

Strawberry shortcake, he remembered that Joshua brought him a slice of strawberry shortcake and
now, the cake must be in refrigerator. Wonwoo is a strawberry lovers especially for strawberry cake
and Joshua know that, if Joshua go to a cake shop, he’ll bought him the cake. Joshua really care
about him than Seulgi, that because Seulgi was a stubborn and she always say ‘I’m older than you,
beside that I have Irene unnie!’

Wonwoo smiled as he thought about the strawberry shortcake, how about a date and eat strawberry
shortcake together with someone in a café. It will be a good choice, while a kind guy treat you a
milkshake and accompany you all day long with his funny story.

Tomorrow, you treat him a bento that you made with love, because yesterday he was treat you. He’s
the son of the café. How lucky, he even compliment your bento and kiss your hand.

Wonwoo shook his head as he realized, he isn’t daydreaming or anything but he feel like saw
someone’s incident. He chuckled and slapped his head softly, he felt sleepy in sudden and closed his
eyes slowly.

When your hand was kissed by him, it was a beautiful blessing. But-

Love is
Something you-
Can't resist
But when you happy, you have to remember,
If the happiness isn't infinite

He said love me, we made it, love. Breathe, kissing, licking, kiss mark but I was ended up sleeping
on rocks and gave me the last good night kiss.

He already had crush on you.

How lucky.
Unlike me-
Wonwoo sweating a lot and tried to open his eyes, the voice again, the voice even can come to his
dream or his daydreaming? He felt his body was stiff but he tried to move and finally he opened his
eyes.

A tiny messy short haired woman with blue skin like avatar skin, sat on his foot and she turned her
head to Wonwoo, there are no eyes and nose, just black hole and her mouth was gaped. Wonwoo
blinked even though he was extremely terrified and nothing there. No one sit on his legs, it just his
imagination, he trying to move but he ended up fall on the floor. His head hit something and made
his head hurt, it was his phone.

Wonwoo decided to text anyone randomly and he heard a voice from his bathroom, he stood up and
walked to bathroom. Nothing. He sighed and thought if he was sweating a lot, his body also sticky.
He decided to take a bath, he entered the bathroom and take off his clothes.

Wonwoo opened the shower room and turning on the tap, he enjoying the water which soaked his
body. The cold water was kinda relaxed his mind and made him forget about everything, but
Wonwoo stopped, he was forget to bring the soap so he walked to the sink.

Hey
I’m here
.

Wonwoo turned his head to the mirror, his heart almost stopped as he saw the blue girl before was
reflected in the mirror. She was standing beside Wonwoo, his body was frozen in sudden. He was
noticing the girl slowly turned into a normal boy? He was actually a boy, but his body was shorter
than him, his height even so close with Seulgi. He has brown hair, pale skin, cute pair, pinky lips
eyes and he was naked.

The unknown boy was squeezed his belly, Wonwoo keep staring at the boy’s hand. His tiny hand
slowly ripped off his belly, with his sharp nails and started to find something inside his belly.
Wonwoo slightly saw his internal organ, he shook his head and the boy was disappeared from the
mirror, he walked to the bath towel hooks and use his clothes quickly.
Wonwoo stopped as he heard something, he forget to turn off the shower. He turned his body and
met the unknown boy before and handed him something, the boy’s belly also bleeding because it was
ripped. Wonwoo widened as he realized, the boy was handed a fetus, he walked back but he was
slipped and fall on the floor. The boy slowly walked to him, Wonwoo shook his head while the boy
tried to open the black haired mouth.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Wonwoo??” Joshua murmured, he heard the younger screamed and it was came from his own
room. He decide to go the younger room but he just clenched his hand and went to sit again. He
actually lazy to argue with his cousin, he waiting the girl to continue her word.

“Maybe because of the damn cockroach, tomorrow you should get cockroach killer spray, Joshua!”
Seulgi shouted as she rubbed her temple softly “W-why I am shout?” Joshua frowned as he felt
something weird with the older, but suddenly Irene appeared with pale.

“S-SEULGI! JOSHUA! WONWOO-” before Irene finish her word, Joshua and Seulgi ran to
Wonwoo’s room. Seulgi opened the door in harsh, Joshua and Irene were walking behind. Joshua can
felt Irene was shivering.

Joshua frozen on the spot while Irene and Seulgi were screaming, but Irene decided to call
ambulance and Seulgi who calling her parent.

Joshua cringed when he saw Wonwoo, the younger seems lost much blood. He sat under the shower
which turning on, shower room door which had mirror material was broken. His back, chest and
belly had horrible wound also bleeding so badly. His skin also getting white, because of the cold
shower.

“W-What h-happened….” Joshua murmured, the phone in his hand was fall and he approached
Wonwoo’s body.

.
 .

Wonwoo’s phone turned on in sudden and the screen were shown 13 missed calls and 5 unread
messages.

Jeonghannie 06.04.PM Rang 4 times

HANSOMESEOKMIN 06.05.PM Rang 3 times

Mingyu 06.07.PM Rang 6 times

From : Jeonghannie

06.05 PM. What’s up, Wonwoo?????

From : HANSOMESEOKMIN

06.05 PM. WONWOO-YA? WHAT’S WRONG?

From : Jung Chan-woo /1-4 class

06.06 PM. Is there something you need, Wonwoo-sunbaenim?

From : Mingyu (2)

06.07 PM. What?

06.08 PM. On the way to your home
 Depth Perception
theJuniorRoyals
Summary:
Do you know how far the fall is?
When Wonwoo logs onto a chat room at 2 in the morning, he wants nothing more than someone to
talk to. That someone wanted more than just that.

(The AU with chat rooms, college stoners, and broken hearts)

Notes:
holy shit i broke 6k words on a one shot
((rated m for language, implied sexual stuff and weed, just to be safe))
(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Was it a mistake? Probably.

Wonwoo simply meant nothing more than to just find someone to chat back and forth with, never
meant to find someone who would stick around in his mind, and never intended to become friends
with someone who he met in a chatroom at 2am because he couldn’t fall asleep, further
procrastinating his essay for his Intro to Business course.

Slamming his empty beer can on his desk, not drunk, but he wished he was, he ran laps around his
mind trying to think of the pros and cons of this situation and simply couldn’t conjure up any. ‘Some
weird people you can find on there, let me tell you’. Soonyoung had told him one day whilst he was
blatantly not taking notes in class.

Clearly, Wonwoo had better motives than Soonyoung did, who spent the majority of his time
sleeping around, though Wonwoo didn’t classify him as a playboy, and somehow passing the class he
clearly paid no attention to at all. It had taken a while for Wonwoo to see the positives of what could
happen after he spends a sleepless night staring at the opening screen of some dodgy chat site,
definitely not a good time.

“And what can I get out of this?” Wonwoo asked himself, as if Soonyoung would crash through the
wall in an eager demeanor to answer. Staring at his beer can that had slight dents in the side, he
wished that it could refill itself, but of course, he had to live at a time where miracles didn’t exist, and
he couldn’t fill it with water and have wine instead. “Soonyoung, if I get more people trying to fuck
than people trying to chat, you’re gonna pay.” He spoke again to thin air, and clicked the button that
would throw him into his first adventure.

Video chat was an option, but seeing how he was sat in complete dark besides the artificial light of
the computer screen outlining his profile, and he didn’t feel like getting bombarded with said people
trying to fuck, he was all set. He opted for chat instead.
Under the pretense user ‘anon5165’ he got connected to his first chat partner. Another anon name,
but he halted his fingers in the middle of typing ‘hello’ when he saw the other person’s first message
pop up. He whispered under his breath to himself the message: “Trying to find a good anonymous
hook up? Try this website:” and abruptly stopped before realizing it was a bot, and he did not want to
anonymously hook up. He reconnected. And reconnected. And did it again.

It was only after the third time that he connected to a real person, who actually had something in
mind. He quickly typed his greeting before he could get hit in the face with another virus infected
link for a sketchy live cam website. This person, who had the username ‘97kingmin’ had replied
back quicker than Wonwoo expected for a real person.

97kingmin: asl? Not in a creepy way of course :)

Wonwoo had to pause for a moment before replying, looked something up online, and asked himself
what goddamn generation was he born in that he didn’t remember what ‘asl’ meant. He felt a little
less scared to reply with the smiley face taking down the sexual predation behind the three letter
acronym.

anon5165: 20, m, Seoul. Even if you did intend it in a creepy way I’m sure I’m not worth stalking,
lol.

Wonwoo decided the extra ‘lol’ at the end was necessary to not come off as a hard ass who didn’t
want to fool around. He watched as the typing icon showed, and the next message popped up.

97kingmin: can’t be so sure, ha.

As Wonwoo was about to reply, he saw another message appear.

97kingmin: I’ll pretend like you asked for my asl. 19, m, Anyang. You’re not so far away stranger :)

anon5165: unless you are really far away and actually trying to lure me in.

97kingmin: I swear, I swear, I’m really 19. I assume you are in Seoul for school, which I wanted to
be, too, but I didn’t have the money then. I guess I’m close enough to Seoul right now.

Wonwoo still had an undecipherable hunch that this guy wasn’t telling the truth, but went against his
better decision and decided that if he was saying these things to Wonwoo first, then maybe he wasn’t
lying. Wonwoo decided to probe at it.

anon5165: I came all the way from Changwon. It was one of my hopes and aspirations, though
business is now not what I had hoped it was when I was 12.

97kingmin: Sorry to hear that. Hopefully it works out for you. I had thought about business for a split
second but decided it probably wouldn’t sit well with me.

anon5165: What are you in right now?

97kingmin: anatomy. It’s a lot more hands on compared to business, no offense, lol.

97kingmin: Do you have any other links? Instagram, Twitter, stuff like that.

anon5165: yeah. I guess I’ll give it to you since you aren’t asking how big my dick is on the first
date.

Wonwoo had his hunch debunked when he received an Instagram follow from user kinggu97, and
Wonwoo was actually a bit surprised when the pictures depicted a boy with blonde hair, short on the
sides and gelled at the top, with a slender body, a beautiful smile, and chiseled features.

anon5165: you have blonde hair? Didn’t expect that.

97kingmin: Yeah, do you like it? I did it about a week ago, my friends think it looks ridiculous, but I
argue saying it could have been orange.

anon5165: yeah, I suppose you’re right. And yes, I like it. It suits you.

Wonwoo scrolled further down to see older photos of him with his natural dark hair, and thought that
this guy- Mingyu, his profile stated- looked good in anything.

Wonwoo hadn’t expected it, but he wasn’t that taken aback when the guy, Mingyu, he still was not
sure, had asked to exchange numbers, seeing how they weren’t that far away and could meet up
sometime. Wonwoo gave it to him despite the fact that he could have been fooled by a catfish the
whole time, but kept his conscience quiet.

--

Wonwoo rubbed his eyes hard, and slammed his hands back down on his desk when he could not
stay focused during this lecture. He looked to his left and saw Soonyoung, hand on his chin, jaw
slowly chewing some gum that Wonwoo was almost positive that he got over an hour ago. He
remembered the conversation he had last night, the reason why he was so tired. He slapped
Soonyoung on the shoulder, and laughed when he jumped over dramatically.

“Remember that thing- dude calm down I didn’t hit you that hard- the thing you told me about the
chat website ages ago? I took up your stupid advice and went on last night after I couldn’t write shit
for this essay.” Wonwoo explained after Soonyoung had calmed down. He watched as Soonyoung
scooted closer to hear more of the details.

“Really? What happened? Did you like, talk to anyone or did you just go on to find some hot cam
girls?” Soonyoung stared expectantly, and Wonwoo’s faced scrunched at the last idea.

“I can assure you I was not in the mood for any kind of sexual activity last night. And yes, I talked to
someone. He was interesting.”

Soonyoung’s eyes bulged. “He? Is he hot?”

Wonwoo grimaced. “Can you not think about sucking dick for, like, 5 minutes?” Soonyoung scoffed
and rolled his eyes, but prompted Wonwoo to continue. “Anyway, he’s a year younger than us and
lives in Anyang. It’s not far from here, and he asked for my Instagram and my number, and said
sometime we could meet up.”

Soonyoung excitedly wriggled his body and leaned in even closer. “Show me what he looks like? Is
my baby finally gonna get some dick?”

Wonwoo shoved Soonyoung playfully. “Dude, you aren’t my mother, and that isn’t something she
would say either.” He simultaneously pulled out his phone and searched the infamous user kinggu97.
He passed his phone to Soonyoung who ogled at the boy.

“He’s cute! He looks good as a blonde!” He scrolled down further. “And with dark hair! Oh my god,
if you don’t get with this then I will.”

Wonwoo stared at Soonyoung incredulously. “Seriously. Be mature for a minute. No, I don’t think I
will be going for this any time soon. And whatever, have him or don’t.”

“Now I have to ask because I can’t steal your man, you know. And why won’t you go for this? You
two would look so good together. Is it because you don’t like blondes? Is it because that blonde of
the year above, like, Seungcheol or something, puked on you when he was drunk? I swear it wasn’t
because he was blonde.”

Wonwoo sighed. “No, Soonyoung. I thought I told you never to bring up that incident ever again.”
Soonyoung shrugged and scooted away a bit. “And I don’t know. I need to know him for more than
one day than to decide if I want it or not.”

Discarding the conversation once their professor looked over and glared at the two of them for not
being the only students who weren’t basically sleeping. Wonwoo scribbled excessively over his
notebook while Soonyoung went back to chewing his gum, probably now flavorless, and texting
someone, probably hooking up another booty call with whoever it was this time.

Wonwoo glanced at his phone which was still on, still displayed on the profile of a certain boy he
met last night. Staring at the latest selfie of him in front of a huge marble building which he was sure
he had seen downtown before, he thought they wouldn’t look bad together, in the eye of another
beholder. He could not picture it himself, to his own demise.

--

Wonwoo was bouncing a ball against the wall and laying on his back, laughing at the sound it made
every time, and that could only mean it was midnight on a weekend and he was teetering on the edge
of being sober and being high. He could hear Soonyoung in the kitchen choking on something- either
smoke, or ice, that dumbass could choke on anything- and his ears perked not when Soonyoung
finally stopped choking, but when he heard his phone chime signaling a new text had arrived.

Wonwoo scrambled over to his phone, stumbling over his arms and legs and tripping once, before he
could get his phone and see who had sent him a message at this hour.
Oh. It was Mingyu.

“Is that that hot Instagram guy?” Soonyoung said over his shoulder, and Wonwoo nearly had a heart
attack.

“Jesus Christ, Soonyoung, let me know you’re coming near me or something.” Wonwoo turned back
to his phone, heart beating. “And yes, it’s him. Now go.” Wonwoo shoved Soonyoung’s stomach so
he stumbled backwards, laughing when he landed on his ass, stopping when he remembered there is
people who lived downstairs. He shook his head at Soonyoung, still trying to stand, and drew his
attention to his phone.

Mingyu: I know it’s late and stuff, but seeing as you were up at 2 last time, do you think we could
Skype or something? I’m bored, and don’t want to do this project.

Wonwoo and Mingyu had chatted over the time they had first met, talking about places in Seoul they
could meet at, never actually having a set date yet, and their separate lives. Though it had been about
a week since they had met, and though they seem to talk comfortably now, he still had not done this
with him yet. He didn’t know how to answer, and he read the message to Soonyoung.

“Play hard to get. It works every time.” Wonwoo sighed.

“Soonyoung, I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just don’t know what to tell him.”

“Well, do you not want to Skype with him or something? He seems nice, yeah? You’ve been talking
to him more often since you met and I think I would be less hesitant to video chat now than over
Chat Roulette or whatever.”

“No, it’s not that I don’t, it’s just I’m…”

“Awkward.” Soonyoung answered for him. Wonwoo hit his leg but sighed, because that was the
truth. He sat pondering his choices when Soonyoung interrupted him. “Look- say yes. If it gets
awkward, I’ll jump in. Just keep talking. He said he doesn’t want to do a project, ask what it’s on, ask
about his major, his school, just keep it going as if it were me.”

Wonwoo was impressed that Soonyoung had named this off the top of his head, but the last sentence
didn’t settle with him nicely. “If it were you I would have made you shut up already because you
can’t stop talking about how much dick you get weekly.” Soonyoung shrugged innocently. He picked
up his phone and replied, and decided if anything weird happened, he would blame it on the weed.

Mingyu had looked a lot less like the Instagram pictures. Not in a bad way, but the pictures showed
his at his prime during the say, filters, lighting, and all that. This Mingyu was lighted by a lamp to his
right and his hair was strewn across his head like he had just run his hands through it twenty times.
Wonwoo could see his dark roots peek through the curtains of sandy blonde, and he thought it didn’t
look to bad on him. He saw Soonyoung grab his dick as if the sight of Mingyu gave him an instant
boner out of the corner of his eye, and chose to ignore it.
“You look lovely.” It came out louder than expected, but Wonwoo went with it.

Mingyu laughed and propped his chin up on both fists. “I could say the same.” His voice was
something. It was deep and it fit his looks, and his laugh seemed to come along with the whole
package as well.

Wonwoo held up the last of his blunt, the only thing that was the reason he was doing this, and the
reason he was awake at this time. “I have an excuse.” Soonyoung’s arm darted out and grabbed the
blunt, leaving Wonwoo holding up air. Mingyu laughed with an arched eyebrow.

“You’re with other people?” He asked slowly.

Wonwoo shook his head. “Just one, don’t worry about him.” Mingyu sat up straighter and folded his
fingers over one fist. Wonwoo decided to veer the conversation away from Soonyoung and why he
was smoking two blunts at once. “So your project.” Mingyu sighed with a laugh and looked down.
“What’s it on?”

“Well, anatomy, you know already. We have to create a big diagram on a certain section of the body
and explain all of the muscles and their functions and the nerves and stuff. Complicated shit.”
Wonwoo suddenly wished he was doing that instead of business.

“Sounds a whole lot better than writing a paper on the biggest industries and how they got to the
top.” Wonwoo added.

“No offense, but yeah. It does.”

--

“Mingyu wanted to meet up.” Wonwoo told Soonyoung the following Monday in their Economics
class.

Soonyoung’s headshot up, and he was suddenly a whole lot more interesting in this conversation than
their work. “So? Do it!”

“Calm down, and I already told him we could meet up. We are going to that new huge library
downtown. The one I told you about a while back.”

Soonyoung tilted his head in disappointment. “A library?”

Wonwoo glared. “Yes. Some people find calming aesthetics in books, thank you very much. He was
also as enthusiastic about a library. You know how nice those photos look online. Anyway, we are
meeting there on Wednesday since we both don’t have class.”

Soonyoung clapped lightly. “Congrats on your date.”

Wonwoo scoffed, but the word didn’t feel right in his mouth. He didn’t feel like this was a date,
simply a meet up. Just to hang out. He suddenly hoped Mingyu didn’t think of it like that.

--

Wonwoo was stunned by the architecture of the building. The pillars on the inside seemed miles high
from the ground, and the carpet was red and clean, it gave Wonwoo a sense of old timey libraries you
only see in movies. He was also amazed at the books lining each shelf, loved how they all looked so
clean and neatly put together and non-touched. He almost felt wrong standing in there, but he
couldn’t move at the same time. His neck started to hurt from admiring the work of the ceiling,
making it look like an ancient dome.

“Wonwoo!” He heard an unfamiliar voice shout his name. It was the blonde boy that Soonyoung had
been so anxious to see Wonwoo off with, but Wonwoo had only been anxious on what to wear
(Mingyu makes it seem like all he ever ears in name brand and things over 100 bucks each). Said boy
was wearing a beige coat that went to his knees, he left it unbuttoned to display a clean white shirt
and dark wash jeans with holes in the knee. The ensemble ended with black matte boots that
Wonwoo didn’t even know existed, but he suddenly wanted them (and was sure he couldn’t afford
them).

He smiled back and walked halfway to meet him, both stopping in the middle and fallen silent out of
shock and expectancy. “Oh.” Wonwoo muttered as he looked up.

Mingyu stared down. “Oh…” He echoed with a small smile. Wonwoo was at least an inch or two
shorter than Mingyu, and that wasn’t something he could get from just his Instagram photos. Mingyu
laughed. “I thought you were taller than this.”

Wonwoo breathed in deeply. “I suddenly wish I was taller.” He looked down. “Maybe it’s those
shoes. Where do you even buy shoes like those?”

“You like them?” Mingyu asked hopefully. Wonwoo nodded. Mingyu beamed.

“How was the ride here?” Wonwoo asked once he stopped looking at the shoes that he wish he had
on his own feet.

“it was good. Only about 30 minutes. I got to look at all the buildings though. That’s always nice.”
Wonwoo looked back up to the ceiling, as if he couldn’t control where his eyes wanted to go. “Have
you been here before?” He heard Mingyu ask.

“No, I’ve wanted to come though. I love books and libraries and stuff, you know?” Mingyu nodded.
“I wanted Soonyoung to come with me but he thinks it’s weird that I like books so much. I don’t
know why he wouldn’t like this place though. He likes stuff like this.”

Mingyu was quiet for a moment. “Are you together?”

Wonwoo looked at Mingyu now, who was looking at him with a certain emotion that he couldn’t
place. “What do you mean?”

Mingyu opened his mouth for a moment, then shut it, opening again. “Well… like… are you guys
dating? Or something…”

Wonwoo laughed at this. The thought was absurd. “No, no. I wouldn’t date Soonyoung. He’s not my
type, he’s not into me, and he sleeps around like it’s a sport and he needs to be the champion. He’s
not a fuckboy though, he does it respectfully, you know?” Mingyu laughed slightly.

“I’ll pretend like I do.” Wonwoo started walking in a direction and Mingyu eagerly followed. “Are
we going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I’ll take you to a corner bakery-café thing that I like.” Mingyu smiled and followed. He
popped another question.

“How did you and Soonyoung meet?”

Wonwoo thought for a minute. “We met in high school because I heard he was selling weed and I
wanted to try, so I went over and got high and basically had the best time of my life with this guy
who had bleach blonde hair, and that’s how we met. We lost a bit of contact over the transition from
high school to college, and reconnected when I hooked up with someone at one of his parties who
then ended up puking on me. It was a scene really, but we’ve been kind on best friends ever since, I
guess.”

“That’s cute. If you find weed and puke cute.” Mingyu looked at Wonwoo. Wonwoo laughed, and
Mingyu’s eyes practically glowed when Wonwoo looked back over to him.

“I guess it’s cute then.”

--

“So, how was your date?” Soonyoung sat down excitedly in Economics on Thursday in front of
Wonwoo.

Wonwoo shrugged. “I don’t really think it was a date. We just did normal stuff and I showed him
some of Seoul. We went to the café that you showed me that one time and that was it. It was only
like a few hours.”

“That’s a date, dumbass.” Soonyoung pushed Wonwoo aside so he could squeeze in on the bench.
“What does he look like in person?”

Wonwoo sighed and groaned. “Soonyoung, you know what he looks like, why would it be any
different in person?”
Soonyoung put his hand over his heart in faux hurt. “Because pictures can’t tell you about height and
what he smells like and how his hands feel and video calls don’t tell you exactly how his voice
sounds.”

“Fine, he was a god who came down from heaven and his voice gave me ear orgasms.” Soonyoung’s
jaw dropped in excitement. “I’m lying, idiot. He sounded the same and he was a few inches taller
than me which was kind of awkward cause I had to look up a lot. And how you I know what his
hands feel like?” Wonwoo rose his voice.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a normal date thing to shyly ask to hold someone’s hand.” Soonyoung sat back
and stared at the walls in front of them. Wonwoo looked at him like he said the stupidest thing.

“It wasn’t a fucking date, oh my god. It was all platonic. I don’t even know if I like him.” Wonwoo
threw his head back, and brought it back up when he hurt a muscle.

Soonyoung sighed. “Do you know if he likes you?”

Wonwoo shrugged. “He looks at me a lot and he always smiles and stuff. Maybe he is just like that
all the time.”

When Soonyoung didn’t say anything, Wonwoo turned his head to look at him. He was staring at
him with a ‘Really?’ look, like Wonwoo had not realized he did something stupid. Wonwoo
furrowed his brows in a silent response of ‘What??’ and Soonyoung groaned and turned his body to
face his friend. “Listen, have you ever liked someone?” Wonwoo shook his head. “Let’s pretend you
have then. Pretend a gorgeous person met you one day and you couldn’t stop looking at them. What
would you look at them like?” Wonwoo didn’t move. “With admiration, which is probably how he
looks at you. Listen Wonwoo, if you don’t like this kid, you can’t lead him on. That’s an ass thing to
do.”

--

Thoughts going through his mind, Wonwoo couldn’t tell if he was high or if he was just tired. Did he
like Mingyu? He couldn’t see himself with Mingyu no matter how hard he tried. Mingyu wasn’t the
one that he wanted to wake up with, Mingyu wasn’t the one he wanted to take road trips with, and
every time he tried to picture it, he had to open his eyes. He decided that the boundary between him
and Mingyu was solely platonic, from Wonwoo’s side, at least.

Was he leading Mingyu on? No, this is how Wonwoo usually is. Soonyoung usually jumps from
person to person, and it wouldn’t be leading someone on if he acted like himself.

Wonwoo didn’t want to hurt Mingyu. And that meant Wonwoo didn’t have the courage to tell
Mingyu that it wasn’t what he thought, but that could wait to see if Mingyu just likes him as a friend,
and nothing more.

He was going to meet Mingyu again, the second time, and back at the museum that was right next to
the library. Mingyu had thought of that one, he wanted to go in last time he saw it when they were in
town together and Mingyu claims he thought it would be a nice place to spend the day. Wonwoo
didn’t mind at all, he had been once and thought it was indeed very beautiful, so he took up Mingyu’s
offer and sat outside as Mingyu pulled up and stepped out of the cab.

“Beautiful day, yeah?” Mingyu looked like he just came off of the runway, black jacket- about the
same length as the last one he wore, and light wash jeans this time, with white shoes. His hair was
styled the same, and Wonwoo wondered where he got the money from. Or if the clothes were
expensive at all.

Wonwoo nodded in response to his question. “It is very nice. Too bad we’re here.” Wonwoo teased.
Mingyu’s smile faltered.

“We don’t have to go in… if you want to stay out.” Mingyu hesitated.

Wonwoo shoved him slightly. “I’m joking. I’m excited to go in. The sun is too happy for me.”
Mingyu smiled again.

“Sorry you love being sad.” Wonwoo laughed at him and turned his body to go in. Soonyoung might
call him a nerd ibn this situation too, but he was genuinely excited to go in. There were so many
things fascinating about a museum and it had been a year or two since he went to this one. Walking
in took his breath away and there was so much more to look at. In the center of the foyer there was a
statue, a man with flowers, or leaf branches, something that Wonwoo didn’t really care about. A
fountain below the statue, and flowers and various floral sets surrounding the fountain. Wonwoo
stared intently, he wanted to memorize as much of this as possible.

After both of them had paid the fee for entry, Wonwoo stood in front of the display again, and pulled
out his phone to take a photo, setting it gently back in his pocket without taking his eyes away from
the centerpiece.

“Do you like it that much? We haven’t even got started.” Wonwoo had almost forgot Mingyu was
there, but when Mingyu tugged on the hem of his sleeve and pulled him further into the museum, he
didn’t resist, eager to see the rest of what this place had to offer that was different from the last time.

Most of what there was to see were paintings, and though many were focused on that, Wonwoo kept
looking at the architecture of the building. The fascinating Roman palace like design had Wonwoo
unable to take his eyes off of the mural on the ceiling depicting angels and cherubs high in the
clouds. That’s what Wonwoo could say he felt like right now, like he was in the clouds. The first
time he could say that without getting intoxicated.

When Wonwoo turned to see what Mingyu was looking at, he jumped a little when he realized he
was looking at him. “Why are you looking at me?” He stupidly asked, and Mingyu smiled.

He shrugged. “No reason.” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow to the action when he turned and walked in a
direction, looking back to see if Wonwoo was following. As if his eyes only knew the same
direction, he couldn’t stop looking at the ceiling more than the actual displays.
By the time they had seen everything (and Wonwoo had almost ran out of storage for pictures on his
phone), they were both hungry, and right by a new café that neither of them had attended before, and
thought it was a good end of the day destination.

Wonwoo had sat back down with a coffee in his hand and Mingyu followed suit. Wonwoo pulled his
phone out to inspect the photos he took to see if they were any good, laughing triumphantly and
heading to Instagram to post one of the ceiling and the skylights, enjoying the aesthetic of the photo.
Mingyu watched him again as he typed out a caption (something about being free and art and shit)
and he looked up to see Mingyu hadn’t moved since they sat down.

Wonwoo snapped his fingers in front of his face. “You okay? You’ve been spacing out a lot. I think
this rich clothing is weighing down too much, I might have to take it.” Wonwoo pinched the material
of his jacket.

Mingyu shrugged, a small hint of a smile still on his face. “I don’t know. I had fun at the museum.”

“So much fun you black out at random times?” Wonwoo took a sip, and Mingyu then looked down
into his own drink. He shrugged again. “What’s with you today? You’re going all quiet and art-hoe
on me.”

“Art-hoe?” Mingyu asked with a small laugh.

“Yeah like those people that like art so much they just like stop and stare and-” Wonwoo
demonstrated. “All day. It’s like, ugh, god, don’t you have something better to do?” Wonwoo
laughed, and Mingyu took his chance to laugh at what he was saying as well.

“I can be art-hoe if you want art-hoe?” Mingyu raised a brow while Wonwoo scrunched his and
shook his head. “Then I’m not art-hoe. Plus, I can’t sit still for that long.”

Wonwoo watched as more people came in and more people left, he looked out the window and
around the building, taking in the place he was surprised he had never seen. There were people here
he was sure took his major, but he didn’t care enough to memorize everyone’s faces.

Mingyu spoke up while looking at his drink. “It wasn’t too cliché, right?” Wonwoo was confused.

“What was?”

Mingyu kept his head down. “A museum date. I asked my friend and he said it was a good idea but I
mean so many people do the museum and I just didn’t want it to seem… I don’t know… unoriginal.”
Mingyu had a blush creeping on his cheeks and Wonwoo stared, not sure of what to do.

He had to speak soon, he did not want Mingyu to get the wrong idea, though it really was. “A… a
date?”

Mingyu bit his lip, he inhaled and tilted his head, still not looking up. “Yeah, I, um… I thought that it
was a nice place to go, for one. A date, that is.”
Wonwoo almost wanted to laugh at how clearly flustered he was, but at the same time he really did
not know what to do. All of his suspicions were confirmed, and now that he was in this sticky
situation, he felt uncomfortable, and not warm inside like all those romance novels portray. He felt
like he needed to escape this situation, and he wanted to pretend like none of this happened. “Oh,
Mingyu…” He bit his tongue. Mingyu looked up, his cheeks pink and hands nervously gripping the
cup, expecting him to say something dejecting.

He can do this. He can do this. Just tell him you don’t like him. He can do this. “It wasn’t cliché. I
had fun.” He couldn’t do this.

--

“I’m screwed.” Wonwoo was laying on his floor at close to 5 in the morning. He and Soonyoung
stayed up all night after Wonwoo proclaimed he needed to get very high and right now and wouldn’t
tell Soonyoung why.

“I hope you mean physically. You are very sexually constipated. You need someone good.”
Soonyoung rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his elbows.

“You know, right now, I wish you were right. But you’re not. And I’m angry.”

“So? Explain.”

Wonwoo groaned. “Mingyu likes me and he thinks that we have gone on a date yesterday and I’m
pretty sure that he thinks our first meetup was a date too and instead of telling him that I don’t like
him I was stupid and said I had fun with him and he probably wants to go on another date and now
I’m leading him on and I don’t want to be an asshole and lead him on but I don’t want to hurt him
what do I do.”

“First of all, breathe,” Soonyoung looked concerned and confused. “Second of all, you’re an idiot for
not saying anything yesterday.”

“I know! Help me, Soonyoung help me.” Wonwoo was rolling on the floor now.

“Wonwoo, I don’t know what to tell you. If you don’t want to be an asshole the only way to do that
is to start liking him, or grow a pair and tell him you don’t like him like that. I don’t see why you
don’t like him like that, he’s hot as fuck, but, whatever, it’s your standards not mine.”

Wonwoo sighed deeply. “Yeah, yeah, just roll me another blunt please.”

--

Wonwoo knew he was going to get into deep shit if he continued, and even though he opened up the
messages and even though he tried countless times to reject Mingyu, he just couldn’t do it. So here
he was, sitting in front of the café they had gone to a week prior, waiting for Mingyu to show up yet
again. Mingyu had set up another date, that word didn’t feel right in his mouth, and they were
heading to the city just for a day out.

This day was mimicking the last in weather, so Mingyu suggested walking around in the city streets,
window shopping, as Soonyoung put it, and Wonwoo knew he had to grow up and tell Mingyu he
couldn’t date him.

Mingyu tapped him on the shoulder when he arrived and Wonwoo stood up. Mingyu pulled on his
sleeve again to give him the activation energy to start moving, Wonwoo was reluctant but did it
anyway.

Throughout the whole day, Wonwoo felt a bubbling sensation at the pit of his stomach, an
uncomfortable feeling, a feeling that made him want to curl up and smoke however much Soonyoung
was willing to give him for free, but he was here instead.

What sat the worst with Wonwoo was that Mingyu thought he liked him back. The more the day
went on, the worse this feeling felt. He knew what he was doing to Mingyu, and the effort he worked
up at one point was crumpled up and thrown away the next when Mingyu’s face blossomed into a
huge smile showing Wonwoo something he thought was cute, or something he thought would be cute
on Wonwoo.

He had stayed quiet most of the time, Mingyu didn’t seem to notice, and he just let him drag him
around the streets because Wonwoo could not muster it up to tell Mingyu he did not want to do this.
He knew he would be in deep shit, with Mingyu, with Soonyoung, and with himself. He didn’t have
the heart to break Mingyu’s heart. The way Mingyu had acted made it seem like there was nothing
bad in the world, and all of his efforts to have fun with Wonwoo could make someone else who
reciprocated his feelings feel like the only person who existed. But that wasn’t Wonwoo. And he
didn’t want to be the asshole who led him on.

When it was getting dark and Mingyu’s hand hadn’t let go from Wonwoo’s sleeve- dangerously
close to his hand- they stopped on a bench and felt the breeze flow by their skin, a cooling feeling on
Wonwoo’s heated neck. He felt movement by his right hand, where Mingyu was, and when he felt
Mingyu’s fingertips slide up his palm, he knew he needed to put an end to this.

“Mingyu-”

“Wonwoo-”

Names simultaneously spoken, both held different weights. They looked over at each other, Mingyu
looked anxious, and Wonwoo prompted him to speak first with a simple nod. Mingyu smiled
nervously and turned away, and Wonwoo’s gut churned.

“Wonwoo… I, um…” Mingyu breathed in and looked up, and Wonwoo wouldn’t keep his eyes on
Mingyu. “I don’t know how to do this.” He whispered, probably to himself, but Wonwoo heard. He
needed to stop him. But he couldn’t. “I really… I really like you Wonwoo.” Mingyu was avoiding
looking in his direction, while Wonwoo stared at the ground. “I…” Another breath in. He was getting
impatient, but he knew what was coming.
“What are you trying to say?” He asked softly.

Mingyu laughed. “I’m trying to ask you to be my boyfriend.”

If Wonwoo were not in public, and if he didn’t care about what other people thought of him, he
would probably have puked, or ran away, or both. This was not a situation Wonwoo ever envisioned
himself in, and he wanted out immediately. He felt bad for not liking Mingyu like he deserved to,
Mingyu was sweet, he really was, but Wonwoo was not the one to give him the love he needs.

“Oh, Mingyu…” Wonwoo took a deep breath in and it cut short, he wasn’t sure if he was going to
cry from nervousness, or if he was upset about hurting him. “I can’t.”

Mingyu was quiet for a minute, and Wonwoo stood up. He attempted to leave, but Mingyu stood
also, and pulled his arm back, and he turned. “Is it something about me?” Mingyu looked broken, and
this was what Wonwoo wasn’t anticipating. “I can change for you.”

Wonwoo exhaled exasperatedly. “No, it’s not. Mingyu, listen. You are a very sweet boy who
deserves the world, I promise you that. But I can’t give that to you.”

Mingyu shook his head. “I don’t need the world Wonwoo, I’d be happy if I could just have you.”
There was that feeling again.

“You can’t have me, Mingyu.” Mingyu looked confused and sad, and Wonwoo just needed to say it
and get it off his chest. “You can’t have me because I don’t like you like that, Mingyu.” Wonwoo
took his sleeve away from the younger boy who stood there, staring at Wonwoo.

“But you didn’t say anything. You didn’t say that the other day.”

“I know, because I panicked. I’m not good at rejections or rejecting and I couldn’t reject you.”

“You made me think that you enjoyed that, as a date, and not as friends.” Mingyu looked like he was
about to cry and Wonwoo had to look away, to spare his own coward heart. “Why did you lead me
on like that?”

Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. He really didn’t know why he led him on. “I don’t know. I didn’t
know what to do. I’m sorry, Mingyu.”

Mingyu looked down, and the breath he took in told Wonwoo that he had let his tears fall. “You
made me think that I found somebody, Wonwoo. Someone that I thought liked me back.”

“You can find somebody; you could easily find somebody else. Anyone would want you.” Wonwoo
didn’t want to see him cry, but he couldn’t be weak, and look away.

Mingyu shook his head. “You made me think that I had a chance. Because I’ve tried, Wonwoo. This
was my only chance that I have had in a long time. I thought I had a chance.” Mingyu looked at him,
and Wonwoo could see light reflecting off of the watery paths on his cheeks. “You’re all the same.”
Mingyu’s voice cracked, and he backed away.

Wonwoo couldn’t say anything. What could he say? Mingyu was right. Wonwoo was the asshole
here, there was nothing he could say that could change this.

“Why, Wonwoo?” Mingyu couldn’t stop his crying now, didn’t bother to mask his despair. “I
thought I could have found happiness with you. But you didn’t stop me when I tired, and now…”
Mingyu took another step back, and Wonwoo didn’t move. “Forget it.”

Wonwoo watched as Mingyu moved backward another step until he turned his body away from
Wonwoo.

“I hope you had fun breaking my heart.”

His body turned away from Wonwoo and didn’t turn back, and Wonwoo’s own heart couldn’t
forgive himself.
 Your voice
pacccii
Summary:
inspired by:
your voice sounds just like my phone sex operator’s voice AU
Notes:
It's my first time attempting write something like this, so please tell me what you think, should I
continue or just give up?

Mingyu stared at the number he had already inserted into his phone. Junhui had given it to him when
he had been getting his stuff from the staff room and just told him “here you go, have fun” before
giving a wink and slithering back out into the store they worked at. He knew exactly where that
phonenumber led and he may have asked Junhui for it.

The blonde closed his eyes and pressed the green callbutton before putting his headset on and laying
down against the soft pillows he had stacked against the wall so that he could sit comfortably in his
bed.

Hello and welcome to 17 Carat phoneservices. If you want to talk to a female press 1 and if you want
to talk to a male press 2.

Mingyu hovered his finger over the screen for a few seconds before pressing the number 2.

You will be redirected in a few seconds. Please remember to not give out any vital information about
yourself and your phone number will not be saved after the call ends.

Mingyu bit his bottom lip and tapped his thing with his fingers. He was feeling a bit jittery and was
wondering if this was such a good idea.

“ Hello?” A voice from the end sounded, a low voice but that made Mingyu’s stomach fill with
something he couldn’t really label.

“H-Hello” Mingyu answered and the second he heard himself he wanted to slap himself.

“ Well hello stranger” the other voice answered with something that Mingyu barely could identify as
a smirk from the way the man spoke. “ Or do you have anything you want me to call you?”

Mingyu could feel his cheeks flush. “Wh-What… Uhm-”

“ Are you a first time caller?” The other end asked and when Mingyu didn’t answer him he let out a
soft laugh. “ It’s okay dear. I can assure you that this is fully legal and you don’t have to worry about
anything. I can give you a rundown of what I can do for you okay?”
“ Oh, okay” Mingyu said to answer the voice in the phone.

On the other end of the phoneline a black haired boy sat in his little room at the small company that
was 17 Carat. He wore his headset with a high quality mic and a computer in front of him.

“You don’t have to give me your name at all, I can call you whatever you want. Babe, Darling,
Daddy, Kitten, Master, Big D, you name it. And if you have any special request for me, just tell me.”
he said in the nicest voice he could. “If you want to, I can whisper commands into your ear” he
whispered. “Or I can, ah, give you as much, ah, ah, moaning as you want” he let out small moans and
a groan.

“ Master ” a whisper came from the other end. The boy flinched a bit and looked up a little bit from
where he had been looking down at his ring on his finger.

“Sorry?” he asked and he met his boss’ gaze who was looking at him with an arched brow, silently
asking if he was okay. He gave him a thumbs up and a smile and his boss turned away to look over
the other employees.

“ Call me master” the voice said and he smiled.

“Yes, Master” it was quiet for a while before he spoke again. “Want to know what I am wearing,
master?” he asked after turning his voice as sultry as he could, something his co-worker Jeonghan
had told him to work on.

“ Yes, please ” the voice answered and he heard some shuffling on the other side.

“Unfortunately I’m not wearing much. All I could find comfortable was this shirt that I found in your
room and a pair of panties” he heard a gulp from the other side of the line and he smiled a bit. “But
these panties are so uncomfortable master, can I please take them off?”

“ Not yet”

“Please master, they are pressing against my dick and it’s uncomfortable to wear them. Especially
when I hear your voice”

Mingyu almost choked when he heard the voice on the other end utter those words and he couldn’t
help but run a hand across his face.

“Would it help if I took them off for you?” he asked and palmed himself over his sweats.

“ Yes, master ” the voice from the other end said and let out a breathy moan.

“Before I help you out you have to give master what he wants” Mingyu no longer had any
restrictions, he was feeling more brave because the other voice he heard was something he never
could have imagined, it made him feel a strange way.
“ Tell me master, please” the voice pleases and let out a moan. Mingyu gulped before pushing his
sweatpants off.

“You have to give me what I want, because Master doesn’t know how long he can keep himself in
control” he spoke and palmed himself through his black boxers.

“Master” the voice moaned. “I’ll give you anything you want if you want to.”

Mingyu could feel his hard dick through his boxers, honestly it had started becoming harder from the
second he heard the other voice. It did wonders to him. “I want you to get Master off”

“Are you sure master? Do you give me permission?”

“I give you the permission”

“You know what I’ll do first master? I’ll pull your underwear off as slow as I can, because someone
who waits never waits too long” Even if there was a stupid analogy like that Mingyu couldn’t help
but slowly push down his boxers. “ I won’t remove them completely, just so that your dick is out and
I can reach all over it. Oh Master, you’re so big”

Mingyu let out a groan as he let he pulled down his boxers just enough for himself to take a hold of
his member. He slowly started tugging at it to give himself some kind of stimulation.

“ I want Master to feel good, is Master feeling good?” the voice on the other end asked and Mingyu
let out another groan.

“Yes, it feels so good” he mumbled.

The black haired boy was sitting in his chair and he couldn’t hide his flushing cheeks. He wasn’t
supposed to feel this way, this was his job, but he couldn’t help blushing at the noises the person on
the other side was letting out. “Master you are feeling so good in my hand, it’s so big and it makes
me a little bit nervous” he said with what he tried to make into a submissive tone.

Mingyu let out a moan and starter jerking himself off faster. The voice in his ears was like magic for
him. “Tell master what you’ll do to please me.”

“ If master lets me I’ll suck master off.”

Mingyu choked at the thought of getting a blowjob, in all honesty it had been way too long since it
had happened. He let out another moan before he could stop himself and his hips bucked into his
hand.

“ And it master permits I’ll let master fuck me.” Mingy has to bite his lip so to not let out a whine.
The thought of having his dick inside someone is even better than getting his dick sucked off. “ What
position does master want me in?”
“I” Mingyu has to let out a moan while he still runs his hand up and down his member to get himself
off and he can feel that he is closing in on an orgasm. “I want you on the floor. On your hands and
knees”

“Yes master, I have prepared myself for you. Please give me your cock. Please master” the voice in
Mingyu’s ear lets out a moan.

The black haired male can’t help but flush even more, he is not used to moaning for his customers,
but Jeonghan had convinced him that it would bring even better results and that they’d come back
again.

“ How bad do you want master to fuck you?” the voice in his headset asks and he has to lean his
forehead onto his clenched fist.

“Please fuck me master, I need your cock inside me” he moans and he can hear the customer let out a
muffled groan. He can hear that the customer isn’t far now.

“ I will fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to walk.” the boy almost chokes but manages to keep
it quiet so as to not let the customer know. Moans echo in his ear and he can hear the faint sound of
something that he suspects as jerking off. “ Is master making you feel good?”

“It feels so good, please don’t stop master” he moans, half a second after again realising that it was
him the voice was speaking to. “Master it feels so good” he lets out another moan. He can hear the
other groan.

Mingyu is jerking himself off, his mouth hanging open and his eyes closed. He is close and he can
feel himself buck his hips. When the voice in his earphones moans once more he can’t hold himself
and his hand stops and his hips buck upwards before he orgasms. He shoots his cum onto his stomach
and lets out a longdrawn moan. He slowly moves his hand again and jerks himself off, shooting a
little more of his cum on his stomach before letting go off himself.

“How was it master? Did I do good?” the black haired male asks into his mic, voice soft and almost a
whisper. He had heard the moans and noises the customer let out and he had been slightly amazed
before managing to ask the question.

Mingyu feels a shiver run down his spine and he keeps his eyes closed and his hand that had been
jerking off with was laying on the bed beside him. The voice in his ear is giving him a sense of relief
and excitement at the same time. “You did very good” Mingyu manages to breathe out.

“ You’re welcome master. I am here to make you feel good”

Mingyu bites his lip and opens his eyes again and stares up at the ceiling. “Is…” he begins but his
voice falters. He doesn’t know if he’ll do this again but he wants to. And he wants to hear the same
voice talking to him.

“ Is something wrong master?”

“Can I-Can I talk to you again?” Mingyu asks and it is quiet in the headphone for a while for so long
that Mingyu has to check so that the phone hasn’t disconnected.

“ You mean you want to talk to me again?” the voice asks, back to his normal voice but with a hint of
disbelief in it.

“Yeah… I do”

“ I-just. Okay.” the voice sounds a bit flustered. “The next time you call, when the operator system
asks you if you want to talk to a female or male then you just press my contact number. I’ll give it to
you.”

And that way Mingyu gets to talk to the mysterious voice a few evenings more. He knows him as
number 961707 and that he has the nicest voice Mingyu has known.

It just so happens that Mingyu has a day off for once and decides to buy groceries. Usually he eats
out with Junhui after the store closes or he orders take-out for himself but ever since he realised how
much money he is spending on eating out he wants to get his shit together.

So there he is with the basket in hand at his local supermarket when everything comes crashing
down.

Mingyu has found everything except the toilet cleaning products and so he started looking for an
employee at the store. He spotted a male wearing the store’s vest who was putting up cupnoodles on
a shelf who he walked up to.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where the cleaning products are located at?” Mingyu asked, voice
turning a little bit more insecure from the second the employee straightened up and turned to him.

Mingyu noticed that the male had black hair and his expression showed something that was
somewhat of a cross between neutral and slightly bored. “The cleaning products are in aisle 12 to the
right.” the man answered and pointed towards Mingyu’s left with his arm.

When his the employee spoke Mingyu first nodded and when he was about to leave he registered that
his voice was familiar before he stopped in his tracks and froze.

He knew that voice.

Mingyu’s face blazed red out of embarrassment and he can’t move.

That employee is the voice he gets off to once or twice a week.

Mingyu ends up finding the aisle to the cleaning products and when he has turned in between the
shelves he fishes out his phone from his pocket and dials the number to Junhui before he squats down
at the shelf, pretending to look at the floorcleaning products.

“Mingyu, like some of us others have to work-”

“Junhui he works at the supermarket” Mingyu hisses when he interrupts Junhui’s complaining.

“ What? Who-” his confused friend asks.

“ The voice at 17 Carat. He works at the supermarket” Mingyu stresses and looks around himself. It
being 2 pm leaves the store empty of customers for the time being but he is still scared someone
might hear him.
“Are you fucking serious?”

“I am a hundred and twenty percent sure it’s him.”

It’s quiet for a while and Mingyu fiddles with the bottle of bleach in front of him, contemplating if he
should just down it right then and there.

“Is he hot?”

“What do you mean is he hot? He’s wearing the fucking uniform. Who the fuck looks hot in a
supermarket uniform?” he hisses back as he stands up and puts his toiletcleaning products in his
basket and let’s out a sigh, a little annoyed with his friend.

“ But still, is he hot?”

Mingyu walks back toward the registry and he passes the aisle where he saw 971707 before. But the
black haired male is gone and Mingyu looks a little bit around himself.

“I mean I guess.” He sees that there is one registry open and walks towards it without looking at who
the cashier is. “I can admit that he was pretty hot. Under the circumstances right now then he is pretty
hot.” Mingyu has unpacked his basket and squeezes his phone between his shoulder and head when
he starts pulling out his card out of his wallet.

“That’ll be 34,000 won please” the cashier says and Mingyu’s head snaps up, his phone almost falls
to the ground but he manages to catch it before it falls too far. Once again his face is heating up.

“I’ll call you back Jun” Mingyu says quickly into the phone and shoves the device into his coat
pocket. He hands the boy he had just been talking about his card and watches him swipe it. Mingyu’s
eyes flicker down to the name tag and he squints to read that it says Wonwoo. “Here’s your reciept,
hope you’ll shop with us again soon” the male, Wonwoo, says and Mingyu takes his card and reciept.

He takes his shopping bags and is almost already out of the store before he turns back. His cheeks are
blazing when he walks up to Wonwoo who is looking at something on his phone. “Are… Do you do
any type of other work besides this?” Mingyu asks and Wonwoo looks up from his phone. He is
slightly taken aback from the question and he doesn’t really know what to answer. He does, he works
at 17 Carat but that would be against their rules to tell a random stranger about it.

“I-Yeah I do…” he answers, hoping that the conversation would end there.

“Okay… I just… I just recognised your voice. But I might be wrong. Does 961707 say anything to
you?” Mingyu asks, his ears burning hot and red. He sees Wonwoo flinch and straighten up and soon
there is a red color grazing his cheeks.

“I-I-How-What-”

Mingyu backs a step, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to reveal it here or even ever. Before Wonwoo
can answer him he turns around and leaves the store, but he doesn’t get far before he stops and squats
down, placing the bags on the ground and his hands are over his face.

“Stupid Mingyu. Why did you do that?” he mumbles to himself and hits himself in the head a few
times. He doesn’t hear the automatic doors open to the store and as someone walks over to him and
stops infront of himself.

“I’m 961707.” Wonwoo’s voice says and when Mingyu looks up the black haired male is squatting
down in front of him, so close that their knees almost touch. He leans even closer to his face and
Mingyu’s cheeks heat up. “Is master satisfied with what he sees?”