The Explorer Islamabad: Journal of Social Sciences

ISSN: 2411-0132(E), 2411-5487(P)

Vol-1, Issue (11):398-409
www.theexplorerpak.org

DATING CULTURE IN PAKISTANI SOCIETY AND ITS ADVERSE EFFECTS UPON THE
ADOLESCENTS, IN THE PERSPECTIVE OF PREVALENT TECHNOLOGY AND INNOVATIONS
Jamil Ahmed Sheikh, Syeda Samar Shahid Bokhari, Shuaib Farooq

Corresponding Author:
Syeda Samar Shahid Bokhari
samar.bokhari@uow.edu.pk

Abstract: The research has been specifically conducted in order to measure the limits to which the adolescents
have immersed into this adopted culture – Dating Culture. Pakistani youth has been intrigued into dating culture,
the adverse effects of which cannot be negated at any level or stage. They have been mimicking the western style
of living without knowing how much they have become immoral in impersonating the life style - not allowed at all
in our religion. Through quantitative study and focused group discussions it has been tried to assess as to what
extent the minds of our youth have been affected, the existing family patterns, what are the dragging factors, what
could be the vices unfolded, which age group is more engaged, what could be the legal aspects of such practices
etc. The existing scenario of innovation and technology brought the dark clouds of change, was this change
inevitable, unstoppable? Hence with focused group discussions with a total of 50 participants and with a
questionnaire, data has been collected, of 150 respondents in 2015. Over the year collected data showed great
risks of teen violence and perpetration explicitly a result of intimacy acquired through “dating”.
Key Words: Dating Culture, youth, intimacy, technology, innovation, teen violence.

INTRODUCTION dating violence impacts the psychological well-

Our world stepping into the quagmire of new
technology has brought with it several questions
of adolescent fertility to mingling into it
unscrupulously. These questions are of the
greatest concern to the researchers, family heads
and educators who anticipate ultimate material
and immaterial success of the youth.
The effects of change were evident for long on
the urbanization of the Pakistani society, but the
rural settings of family patterns are also seen
prone to its charming mazes. The change in
normal cultural pattern is acceptable, but if it is
bringing certain violence it is utterly not
acceptable whatever the conditions prevalent
are. Dating culture has shown its vices globally
from where it erupted first. From simple intimacy
to its worst form of sexual violence. The study
shows it disrupts the life of the perpetrators and
the affected, physically, mentally and
psychologically.
Consequences of dating violence include
decreased mental and physical health and lower
life satisfaction (Banyard & Cross, 2008). Teen
being of youth (Black, Tolma, Callahan, Saunders,
& Weisz, 2008), with youth who are victims more
likely to experience depression and suicidal
behaviors than non-victims (Vézine & Hérbert,
2007). Additionally, longitudinal studies have
identified long-term consequences of intimate
partner violence to include depression, binge
eating, substance abuse, and antisocial behavior
(Foshee et al., 2012).
Unfortunately Pakistani Society is on the verge of
such moral bankruptcy. It can be seriously
foreseen, by impacted study of global
victimization in dating cultures, that our society is
just a step short of or already head long into such
violence.
Limited research of all factions of adolescents
from School to University level has made it
evident that involvement of youth into dating has
become a habitual act. Un-entangling themselves
after experiencing two or three dating, they are
unable to come out. Rather the more they try the
less resilient they are. The state has reached to its
alarming stage, which needs to be remedied
while still benign.

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In some of the societies, the world over and the
most effected, there are certain programs
introduced despite such a hopeless situation. But
the efficacy of such programs is either not
modulated or the target study has loopholes in it.
This is complicated by the fact that school-based
prevention programs vary considerably in
content, scope, and quality, and often
demonstrate small changes in targeted outcomes,
or no changes at all (Espelage, 2012; Espelage,
Holt, & Isaia, 2007; Espelage & Low, 2013).
While in 21st century the youth with “foster care”
(Malissa J-R Sept 2006) is almost ignorant of the
“right values” which produce the “right results”
practically they strive for. Everyone wants to
reach at the pinnacle of happiness, spending time
in luxurious enjoyments – the extreme desire
leads to the thinking serialization that accepting
the prevalent norms is the only possible way to
achieve what they desire for. In this struggle they
find themselves more miserable ultimately, and
more so, pathetically not knowing the exact
reasons why. This is expressly spot-on in the
contemporary dating civilizations.
The term “dating” affords varied definitions with
respect to various opinions. In its simplest form it
is “an agreed meeting of two opposite sexes, at a
specific place for a specific time”. Most
commonly it is: “an appointment for a specified
time; especially a social engagement between
two persons of opposite sex” (Webster’s Seventh
New Collegiate Diction). Dating, followed by
courtship, is supposed to lead to a happy
marriage. But marriage cannot be happy if it is
not built on the RIGHT FOUNDATION (Pack 2007).
Hence the whole social structure comes crashing
down with only one word i.e. “dating”.
The social impacts of close intimacy of male and
female in the process of persistent dating have
been drastically felt and cogitated over. The
concern is not related to Pakistani society only
but the implications are sensed the world-over.
Historical Background and Cultural Changes
The cultural changes are inevitable, as the world
being a global village. The rise in population and
the easy cross border notions have made our
study more universal than restricted to one
region of Asia.
Correspondingly, when interacting populations
really do become large, then the nature of the
prevalent culture change processes will also tend
to change, as selection rather than drift becomes
a more powerful force. (Stephan Shenon, Dec
2000)
This change with the advantages has some deeply
damaging issues too. What was once a pet – set
of social norms have now become a thing of the
past. Families were united with some socio-moral
codes. The elders respected and the Younger
protected formula worked as bonding agent for
all the family systems. Out of this formula,
successful marriages used to emerge with
entailed successful up-bringing of the off-springs.
The ideas have changed now David C Pack says in
his Dating and Courtship that many couples do
not have any idea that a successful marriage
depends upon the love and affection rather than
the affiliation got during dating. These people
actually do not know how they should select the
right life partner (Pack 2007).
The same formula suggested the right from the
wrong to the adolescents leading to lasting
relations. Nowadays, family patterns advocate
the emancipation of youth in all respects, pushing
them to moral wreck. Once the family touch is
lost, the youngsters don’t feel any obligation
towards their elders or the family as whole. They
have been raised as self-centered lot, insensitive
to the needs of others in their social structure, in
which they themselves survive.
With the socio-cultural changes, the changes in
the moralities have also been impressionably
observed. Humans have reverted to the animal
behavior. “Dating”, if to be seen from Human
Discretional Level, is animal behavior. Male and
females attracted towards each other, out of
habitual or other reasons, and changing partners
one after the other, is out of Human Discretional
Level. Extensive study has reflected emotions do
belong to animals too but no sense of right and
wrong. The process of dating and attracting the
other sex is very common in animals. Though this
trait is similarly found in Humans and animals
alike, there is a limitation of Discretion. “It is very
difficult to notice the remarkable conduct when
they are with family, or with their groups, or
when there is a new born in the family, a frisky
communication, the pairing off of with a
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relative.” (Poole 1998, pp. 90–91). Humans can
exercise mental discretions and avoid such
actions particularly of animal like. As it is truly
understandable, animals don’t suffer after such
activities but man suffers, and the effects are
sometimes long lasting. The researchers claim it a
moral depravity closer to the “lower animals”.
Dating Culture in Global Perspective
One of the vices of Dating Culture is the aspect of
“Loneliness”. One partner being deserted after
dating / courtship suffers the loneliness; even
getting married afterwards does not cover up the
bitter facades of life. The results are fatherless or
incomplete families with bewildered adolescents.
Youth brought up in single parent families are
more tended towards crimes and other
psychological issues. In Sweden 66% of children
are of obscure fathers, a tragedy in humanity
viewpoint.
Dreadful impacts of dating culture in most of the
Academic institutes of USA:
 According to a survey in U.S adolescents
aged 14 years to 20 years have been
victimized during the dating process and
same numbers of adolescents have been
charged of committing relationship
violence themselves.
 Throughout U.S.A from 9th to 12th grade
almost 12% of girls have been physically
violated when they did not wish to.
 Before reaching the age of 25 almost 42%
of the ladies have been rapped at round
about the age of 18 years.
 The females in U.S.A. report attempted
sexual assault before they enter college;
the number goes up to 19%. Most of
them are victims of the person they
actually have friendship with.
 Violent dating behavior is reported by
43% of the college women, among them
22% is actually physically abused.
USA faces other worst implications of dating
culture:
 According to a report 43% of children in
USA are fatherless.
 Around 90% are homeless and runaway
 The rapists are mostly fatherless with
frustration of being neglected.
 Round about 71% of pregnant adolescent
ladies don’t have father, according to a
press release of U.S department of
Health and Human Services, March 26,
1999.
 According to US. Department of Health
and Human Service Census 63% of
youngsters who commit suicide are
fatherless.
 US Center of Disease Control report 85%
of the youngsters who show
psychological disorders are from unstable
single parent homes.
 NPA USA reports 71% of school leaving
students are from fatherless homes.
 Rainbow for all God’s Children an NGO in
USA report 75% of young patients in
chemical abuse centers are from
fatherless homes.
 US department of Justice in a special
report Sept 1988, report 70% of the
young criminals don’t have fathers.
 Fulton County Georgia Jail populations,
Texas department of Corrections 1992
report 85% of youngsters are from those
families where there are obscure fathers.
A stable society can only be built with stable
families (Johnson, 1999). This is very true if
sound social structure of past is taken into
account. Broken family structure has put our
individual cultural and social norms into jeopardy.
Dating Culture and Enjoins of Islam
Dating today is partially considered as precursor
to the marriage. Male – female meetings
separately, are considered to be more
appropriate for getting better understanding of
each other before bound in marital strings.
Though the matter is inverse also to some greater
percentage.
For Islam such lone meetings of the male and
female are strictly not allowed. Some of the
Islamic allusions are:
Hazrat Umar (RA) related that the Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one
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of you should meet a woman alone unless she is
accompanied by a relative (mahram)"
(Bukhari/Muslim).
The Prophet Mohammad (May peace and
endowments be upon him) has said, "No man
ought to be separated from everyone else, with a
lady but when there is a mahram with her" (Sahih
Muslim), ("Reading Islam"). This is to avoid any
pre-marriage intimate interaction between both
the dating partners.
In some of the Quranic verses also it is clearly
mentioned: unmarried men and ladies ought to
keep up their chastity until marriage. (5: 5, 23: 5-
7, 24: 3-0-31, 70: 29-331). The Quran says,
“Say to the believing men that they should lower
their gaze and guard their modesty: that will
make for greater purity for them. And Allah is
acquainted with all that they do. And say to the
believing women that they should lower their
gaze and guard their modesty; that they should
not display their beauty and ornaments except
what (must ordinarily) appear thereof” (Surah Al-
Noor 30-31).
This verse from the Quran is related to self-guard
and evidently to safe-guard the females from the
prevailing vices of the society.
Dating Culture Pervading in Pakistani Society
Pakistan being an Islamic Country should have a
culture upon the directions of Allah by the source
of Quran and Hadiths of Prophet Mohammad
(SAW). But what is observed is utterly on the
opposite side.
In today's reality, association between the
genders can't maintain a strategic distance
constantly, yet notwithstanding when two
inverse sexes are in educational surroundings
they should be together, it is their obligation to
observe Islamic decisions on humble
collaboration. It is alright to communicate in an
open setting for essential reasons, for example, a
school venture. In the event that the
expectations of both the man and lady are
unadulterated, no one can have a "haram"
(significance unlawful or illegal as per Islam)
relationship. The diversion from Islam can cause
serious implications. E.g. Victimization or
Violence.
“Adolescents spend a significant amount of time
with their peers in school and in their
neighborhoods. Although the majority of
relationships with peers provide positive social
experiences, for some youth, some relationships
may also involve victimization” (Espelage, Low, &
De La Rue, 2012). “Many assaults experienced by
youth happen within interpersonal relationships,
including in friendships and with romantic
partners, with one in every four assaults
committed by youth occurring in a domestic
relationship” (i.e., family members, intimate
partners; Snyder & McCurley, 2008). “Abuse in
dating relationships is an all too frequent
occurrence, with 1 in 10 teenage relationships
involving violence” (Mulford & Giordano, 2008).
Contrary to Islam on the subject “Dating”,
Pakistan is on fast track of being engulfed
completely by it. Pakistan basically is a territory
of Muslims; most of them are white collared. The
middle class does look down upon this aspect of
the society but unfortunately they are the most
being involved. As no other open opportunity
available to girls and boys they take it by both
hands and make it the only source of social
enjoyment. Most of the regions are more liberal
in the attitude towards dating, like Lahore,
Karachi, and Islamabad. But in the western parts
like KPK and Baluchistan there is austerity about
it. As is predicted, the most liberal areas like
Punjab suffer the after effects of dating.
According to the Statistics Bureau of Pakistan,
there are total 8,806 cases of rape registered out
of 10,703. In Gilgit-Baltistan 22 cases were
registered and in Baluchistan some 86 came to
the surface, in Islamabad 295 rapes cases came
up and in KPK and Sindh there are 722 cases of
rape reported. This number is of the reported
cases and unregistered are beyond expectations.
Age Brackets Involved in Dating
Most of the Adolescents enter into the dating
habit in their pre-high school level, and gradually
the habit matures by the time they enter their
university. At this age they are on a “steep
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learning curve”, so adopt the habits in baboon-
like way.
Prothrow-Stith (1991) refers to adolescence as
the ‘‘dangerous passage,’’ a reference to a
vulnerability to violence that goes along with the
developmental characteristics of the age. She
notes, for example, the exaggeration of gender-
specific roles, narcissism, and acceptance of
mythical notions about romance as points of
particular vulnerability to violence in adolescents’
heterosexual relation- ships. Wolfe (1994)
similarly draws attention to developmental
vulnerability, highlighting in particular the impact
of conformity with gender-specific roles (e.g.,
controlling male, submissive female). For these
reasons, adolescence is an especially salient time
to implement violence prevention (Jaffe,
Sudermann, Reitzel, & Killip, 1992; Wolfe, 1994).
Unfortunately like other nations, experienced
already the abuses of Dating, Pakistan is also
ignoring the fact that there is a hurricane of
adverse social change, ready to sweep away all
the protective Islamic culture with it.
Youngsters if we notice them are overlooked
community, and unfortunately they suffer the
most from the relationship abuses. No researcher
ever heeded to this age-group, though there are
insinuations about the dating violence and the
seriousness about the situation. At tender age of
teens the impacts of violence are more than any
other period of life. From 2000 to 2010 in USA
the dating violence has taken a higher place in
the agenda of the researchers. (Priscilla
Offenhauer: 2007).
So, the general observation is that most of the
adolescents are entrapped into the dating snare
at a very tender age, when their emotions are at
the peak. Morose is the fact that at this age they
get the least right guideline from their families,
resulting in, the involvement of all types of crimes
and immoral activities that can be imagined.
According to the Psychologists, if teens are guided
right at the right time you have a healthy society
and flourishing relationships.
Dating in the Perspective of Innovation and
Technology
The technology revolution has brought
phenomenal – deluxe inventions. The
communication channels have been made so up
to date that people sitting far away can do
correspondence with each other, the distance of
miles has been reduced to seconds. The landline
was invented in the 19th century but with this
invention of cell phone, we can say century has
taken fast turn in the innovation and
technology.(Ashfaq, May, 2011)
New Inventions like cell phones, tablets, and
internet the soul of these devices has given birth
to a new type of dating i.e. digital dating.
In fact, it is not wrong to say that new technology
has brought some incorrigible vices with it. The
use of cell phone contributes 99% to the dating.
Once the voice call now urges the dating people
to meet and sit in private quarters. With the palm
sized device in hand the elders of the family can
never guess to who the youngster is in
conversation. Whether he/she is keeping a good
company or the bad, as everything has gone
virtual and tangible evidences of immorality are
not visible.
More so, the dating culture has gone deep rooted
with the introduction of these cell phones
specifically and internet relatively. It is more
plausible mode of communication, affordable to
all from every strata of life. The student packages
of calls and sms encourage the adolescent
community to get in touch with the person they
want to take on date.
The growth of cell phone users in Pakistan is
drastically on the increasing and soon it will be
the biggest market of cell phones in Asia. It was
supposed to decrease the distances among
people but actually its constant usage is
increasing the distances rather than decreasing.
In 2004 Power and Horstmansh said that with the
usage of cell phones the youngsters can build new
relationships and also retain them throughout
their lives. Chapman and Schofield, in 1998,
Taylor and Harper in 2001, Carroll et al. in 2002
proposed that cell phones have given a new sense
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of security to the people, if they have any
emergency. In 2003 Tjong asserted that new
technology has provided new ways of social self-
actualization for the youngsters as they get access
to new areas, they have convenience of reaching
others, and also a fast sense of mobility. Frissen in
2000 and Mathews in 2004 proclaimed that
freedom of movement, and freedom of access
has liberated the busy parents to have close
conversations with their children in their drawing
rooms, they can have a chit chat on cell phones to
ask about their children. But according to Markett
in 2006, the class room lectures can be facilitated
with the introduction of this new technology.
Chen in 2007 declared that to have a cell phone is
something very necessary for the students of
every level, as they can be in touch with their
families easily wherever they are. He also
suggests that cell phone has taken up the role of
their families because it becomes their
spokesperson to convey their feelings to their
families easily. For Ling and Yttri 2002, this new
invention has modernized the patterns of
communication among families and friends. But
for Phillips, 2005, Piragua Piraguas 2003, Monk
2004, Palin 2001, the excessive usage of cell
phones have created problems of new
dimensions.
In 2005 James and Drennan while having a
research upon the Australian students pin
pointed the higher usage of cell phone up till 5
hours daily. They also identified the costs of such
a usage in terms of money as well as emotional
stress which not only damage the relationships
but also have many other adverse effects.
Hence the opinions vary about the use of
technology, for some the glass seems to be half
full and for the rest the glass is half empty. But as
far as our culture is concerned new technology is
posing hazards for our youth. Our whole study
conducted supports the general idea of teens
being spoiled due to the undue usage of new
technology especially the cell phone.
With the cell phone, we have another lucrative
and affordable source of dating i.e. the social
media like face book, whatsapp, kindle and
several other. Face book, first and foremost on
the list for duping and deceiving other people, as
we do not sit face to face, so to improve the
personality impressions lies are stuffed into the
pages. No doubt everyone knows the reality, but
still they don’t want to accept.
Internet dating upon the social media has made it
so difficult for the parents to track down the
activities of their children. The matters for the
youth are gone so private that they never intend
to share them with their parents or any of the
family members. Secrecy is always enticing for
the youngsters, they enjoy being secretive but
with it submerge into new hassles ever imagined.
Involvement of parents in the whole process
cannot be ignored at this stage. The way parents
socialize children is a major "factor in the
causation or prevention of crime and
delinquency” A study that asked student why they
had not become criminals. Many said that their
parents had taught them right from wrong and
had been models of hard work and honesty. The
student said that their parents had taught them
important values about how to behave, and that
they abided by the law become they believed in
those values rather than because they feared
punishment (Rogers, 1977: 36-45). In
comparison with non-offenders, delinquents
are more likely to say that their childhood
experiences with their parents were
unpleasant and that they rejected the parents
as models while they were young (Medinnus;
1965).
So the lack of interest of parents in the proper up-
bringing of their children and provision of too
many gadgets to tender ages have ensued the
spread of dating culture as well.
METHODOLOGY / RESEARCH STRATEGY
Several tools have been adopted to support our
research study. The scientific methodology is a
system of explicit rules and procedures upon
which research is based and against which claims
for knowledge evaluated (Nachmias and
Nachmias, 1992).
An elaborate study had been conducted from the
base line in the schools of Wah Cantt, Taxila and
403
Hassanabdal. Then onwards from College to the value at 0.05 level of probability at the given
University level. One year longitudinal study degree of freedom, the relationship was
disclosed certain factors to be accounted for. statistically significant. If it is less than the table
Regarding the dating culture focused group value (0.01 level of probability) it is termed as
discussions and structural questionnaire were highly significant, where the calculated value is
conducted in 2015. The data inferences less than the table value at 0.05 level of
particularly show the trend towards developing significance. It is declared as non-significant.
stages of this cultural side. The respondents were Using statistical software SPSS all the inferences
males and females a group between ages of 11-30 of the research were taken.
or over, years living in Pakistan social structure. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
150 respondents were selected by using simple During the process of research we worked on
random sampling technique. Data were collected some significant variables – age of the
with the help of a well-designed interview respondents, marital status, occupation, how
schedule. they were first introduced for dating, how they
To make our research universal we searched the remain in contact with the dating person, what
reference lists of primary studies, hand searched were the reasons for dating, what time and place
relevant journals, and searched the Internet using they thought best for dating, what do they do
Google and Google Scholar. We also contacted there, and last but not least what if they were
researchers who have published extensively in the caught. Most interesting results came up while
area of teen dating violence and researchers who analyzing the data.
have received grants to implement teen dating Table. 1.1
violence prevention programs to identify studies Age of Respondents
in press or in preparation. Neither language nor
Freque Percen Valid Cumulativ
date restrictions were applied to the searches
“Data was analyzed through statistical techniques ncy t Percent e Percent
such as, univariate /descriptive, bivariate and Valid 11-20 37 24.7 24.7 24.7
multivariate techniques. In univariate analysis 21-30 94 62.7 62.7 87.3
such as frequency, percentage and measures of
central tendency (mean, standard deviation) 31 and
19 12.7 12.7 100.0
were used to describe the data. In bivariate above
analysis, relationship among different variables
Total 150 100.0 100.0
was examined through applying chi-square and
Research indicates youths want to learn about
gamma tests.”
dating and healthy relationships, and they desire
Chi-Square learning about communication, assertiveness,
Chi-square test was applied to check relationship and dealing with people (Sears et al.,2006).
between independent and dependent variables. Hence our study and potential interview with the
2 was found by following formula: school/ College / university students exhibited the
(O - E) 2 main part 24.7% of total are indulged in dating.
2 Table 1.1 indicates among the students above 20
X = ∑ _______
the percentage is precarious i.e. 87.3% But we
E found remarkably stunning figures of age 31 and
Where: above, some of them serious about selecting their
O= Values Observed marriage partner.
E= Values Expected
= sum (total)
By this formula if the calculated value of chi-
square was equal to or higher than the table

404
Table. 1.2 pocket money or seek help from other friends to
Marital Status keep the dating process going on smoothly
without hurting their ego. Table 1.3 strengthens
Cumulati
the same.
Freque Perce Valid ve
But for the most of the unemployed job hunting
ncy nt Percent Percent
can lead to dating, with fruitful results. Students
Valid Single 116 77.3 77.3 77.3 find dating an enjoyable time pass, and the most
Married 34 22.7 22.7 100.0 prevailing aptitude for the spread of dating
culture.
Total 150 100.0 100.0
According to Tinder, a very well know dating One of the question in our questionnaire was
application now – a – days, 62% of all the users “how you were introduced to your dating
are men, of which the research claims that 30% of fellow?” the response was: “At first it started as a
Tinder users surveyed are married, while another joke at work. One of my coworkers had gone for
12% are in a relationship. 54% classed themselves it, and she had met this guy, and it was going
as single, while 3% were divorced or widowed. great for her. So a couple of us just did it as well,
Tinder may also be a digital stomping ground for
and we were messing around with it and
married men, it claims that 62% of its users are everything, but I ended up sticking to it, and it
male and 38% female. The research also shows, worked out for me.” As we go through the table
unsurprisingly, that Tinder’s users are a relatively 1.4, the connecting person is often a friend, who
young crowd, with 38% aged between 16 and 24, has already been in the same situation, drags
and 45% between 25 and 34. 13% are aged 35- his/her friend into it too.
44, 3% are 45-54 and 1% are 55-
64. (GlobalWebIndex (GWI) 2014) Same results
we acquired, (Table: 1.2) as the married people
had more tendency towards going on date.

Table. 1.3
Occupation
Cumul
ative
Freque Percen Valid Percen
ncy t Percent t
Valid Student 111 74.0 74.0 74.0
unemploye
20 13.3 13.3 87.3
d
employee 19 12.7 12.7 100.0
Total 150 100.0 100.0
Employed people are more likely to have dating
perspectives than the unemployed, as dating also
involves money. Students depend upon their

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Table. 1.4
Introduced through
Frequency Percent Valid Percent Cumulative Percent
Valid Introduced by Friend 29 19.3 19.3 19.3
Wrong Number 12 8.0 8.0 27.3
through internet (i.e.
20 13.3 13.3 40.7
facebook)
at
school/college/universit 39 26.0 26.0 66.7
y
outside of
school/college/universit 22 14.7 14.7 81.3
y stop
Neighborhood 12 8.0 8.0 89.3
Markets (Shopping Mall) 2 1.3 1.3 90.7
Cousins (Family
9 6.0 6.0 96.7
members)
Trips/Marriage/ceremo
1 .7 .7 97.3
ny
Any Other 4 2.7 2.7 100.0
Total 150 100.0 100.0

Table: 1.5
What do you do there?
Count
Reasons for Dating
For For
Time Marriag Entertainmen to fulfill to jealous
Pass e t Sexual Desire others Any Other Total
What do you do Romance 16 14 9 13 1 5 58
there? Chit chat 10 12 9 8 2 2 43
Enjoy
9 2 3 1 4 3 22
Food
Long Drive 2 3 2 4 6 3 20
Any Other 0 3 1 0 0 3 7
Total 37 34 24 26 13 16 150

Chi- square= 42.131 df= 20 sig= .003**

406
**= Highly Significant
Dr. Greg Smalley and Michael Smalley, M.A. Among all the 150 participants we found a big
Smalley Relationship Center in his eight reason of ratio of the dating lovers, 58% who thought
dating says: “A person can use dating as a process dating was only meant to do romance. Dating
of filtering out or narrowing the field of eligible violence is the occurrence of physically, sexually,
partners down to a specific few and eventually to and/or psychologically violent episodes in the
one person who will be his mate for a lifetime. intimate interpersonal relationship. Glass et al.
Dating can help couples acquire the needed (2003) defined dating violence as the
knowledge and skills for a successful marriage.
“perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at
Suitable Time for Dating * Occupation Cross least one member of an unmarried couple within
tabulation the context of dating or courtship” (p. 228). Many
Count believe that adolescent development and the
volatile relationships associated with the teen
Occupation
years increase the risk of violence (O’Keefe,
unem 2005).
Stud ploye empl Research indicates youths want to learn about
ent d oyee Total dating and healthy relationships, and they desire
learning about communication, assertiveness,
Suitable During
and dealing with people (Sears et al.,2006).
Time School/College/U 39 3 5 47 Hence our study and potential interview with the
for niversity Time school/ College / university students also
Dating exhibited the main part 47% of total are indulged
At evening: Walk
25 2 3 30 in dating.
Time (Table 1.6)
Office Timing 8 6 4 18
Chi-Square= 17.464 df= 10 Sig= .065**
Trips/Ceremonies
12 5 3 20 **=Highly Significant
/Shopping CONCLUSION
In Holidays 17 1 2 20 If we want to have our society as it is, that we
Any Other 10 3 2 15
should have fun, then we have lost every right to
complain. It is our life, our created society but the
Total 111 20 19 150 way things are, we can’t blame society in general
For example, dating helps develop a better as we are the contributors to it in particular. So,
understanding of each other's attitudes and
we should ask ourselves what we want, how we
behaviors, how to get along, and can increase
want to shape away our social structure.
your ability to discuss and solve relational
problems. “Hence factor of marriage also remains Realizing the same technology that is supposed to
as focal point of dating for both boys and girls. bring us closer is in fact taking us far apart. We
In our dating system the age bracket starts with claim to be the best buddies, by connecting to
11 and ends with 31 or above people, indulged in each other, but the methods are superficial, love
dating. Their objectives of this social trend might is mere flirt and this concept of self-deception or
be very different but we found people indulge in perhaps the self-denial has caused the spread of
dating as just time pass. They are not seriously dating culture.
Family disputes drift the adolescents away from
involved in each other but perhaps look for
their loving families. Parents should avoid such
another medium for their inner catharsis. It
conflicts in front of their children. There should
depicts the downward slope of social morality.
be counseling of every family from top to bottom,
so that they can understand the threat in the

407
society, spreading like an incurable cancer. I.e.
dating the opposite sex. The simple dating turn
into intimacy and intimacy turn into violation of
Islamic values in pre-marital relationships.
Our media is also blamed for promoting illegal
relations among adolescents. The eye-catching
advertisement, slogans, banners, student
packages of sms bundles and voice calls. Internet
upon smart phones, the incessant in touch with
the dating personnel.
Electronic media, family incompetence to handle
the children, being careless about the
whereabouts of the children. Where this lead to
would – is a thought provoking issue.
Up-rooting of this culture seems impossible now.
But a little more education to our adolescents
and their parents can lead to safety to some
extent.
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