Scripts For School Theatre

Only the most delightful stories re-told to help children identify basic commonplace emotions and to
bring to life deeper values like duty, work, God through contemporary themes and things relevant to
today. School is about making memories and having a good time that lasts forever through the bond of
shared enterprise.

Saturday, 14 March 2015

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The incomparable screen classic is a simple and heartfelt story of a charming little Princess saved from
the evil deeds of her wicked step-mother, the Queen, by taking refuge in the forest in the house of a
group of seven adorable Dwarfs.

DOC

HUNTSMAN

CHIPMUNK

DOPEY

SNOW WHITE

SQUIRRELS

SLEEPY

QUEEN/WITCH

BIRDS

GRUMPY
MAGIC MIRROR

RABBITS

SNEEZY

PRINCE

HAPPY

BASHFUL

SCENE

QUEEN’S CHAMBER. PALACE.

NARRATOR:

Once upon a time there lived a lovely little Princess named Snow White. Her vain and wicked stepmother
the Queen feared that someday Snow White’s beauty would surpass her own. So she dressed the little
Princess in rags and forced her to work as a Scullery Maid. Each day the vain Queen consulted her Magic
Mirror, “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”... And as long as the Mirror answered,
“You are the fairest one of all”, Snow White was safe from the Queen’s cruel jealousy.

QUEEN:

(ENTER)

Slave in the Magic Mirror,

Come from the farthest space.

Through wind and darkness I summon thee. (HOWLING WIND)

Speak! (THUNDERCLAP) Let me see thy face.

MAGIC MIRROR:
(FACE APPEARS) What wouldst thou know, my queen?

QUEEN:

Magic Mirror on the wall,

Who is the fairest one of all?

MAGIC MIRROR:

Famed is thy beauty, Majesty but hold, a lovely maid I see.

Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is far more fair than thee.

QUEEN:

Alas for her! Reveal her name.

MAGIC MIRROR:

Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.

QUEEN:

(ANGRILY) Snow White! (STRIKES THE GONG)

HUNTSMAN:

(ENTER)

QUEEN:

Take her far into the forest. Find some secluded glade where she can pick wild flowers.

HUNTSMAN:

Yes, Your Majesty.

QUEEN:

And there, my faithful huntsman, you will kill her!

HUNTSMAN:

But, Your Majesty, the little Princess!

QUEEN:

Silence! You know the penalty if you fail.

HUNTSMAN:

Yes, Your Majesty.

QUEEN:

But to make doubly sure you do not fail, bring back her heart in this. (HOLDS OUT A BOX)

SCENE

PALACE GROUNDS. A WELL. ACCOMPANIED BY A FEW BIRDS FOR COMPANY.

SNOW WHITE:

(HUMMING. SCRUBBING THE PALACE STAIRS. SIGHS. WALKS OVER TO THE WELL. CONTINES HUMMING.
DRAWS MORE WATER FROM THE WELL) Want to know a secret?

BIRDS:

(NOD. COOING)

SNOW WHITE:

Promise not to tell? (SIGHING) We are standing by a wishing well.

BIRDS:

(PEER IN THE WELL)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

Make a wish into the well

That’s all you have to do

And if you hear it echoing

Your wish will soon come true.

(SINGING)

I’m wishing (ECHO) I’m wishing

For the one I love

To find me (ECHO) To find me

Today (ECHO) Today.

I’m hoping (ECHO) I’m hoping

And I’m dreaming of

The nice things (ECHO) The nice things

He’ll say (ECHO) He’ll say.

PRINCE:

(ENTER ON A HORSE. WATCHES SNOW WHITE FROM A HIDDEN PLACE)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

I’m wishing (ECHO) I’m wishing

For the one I love

To find me (ECHO) To find me

Today...

PRINCE:

(COMPLETES THE ECHO) Today.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh!

PRINCE:

Hello.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh.

PRINCE:

Did I frighten you?

SNOW WHITE:

(RUNS INTO THE PALACE. EXIT)

PRINCE:

Wait! Wait, please. Don’t run away. (SINGING)

Now that I’ve found you

Hear what I have to say

One song, I have but one song

One song only for you

One heart tenderly beating

Ever entreating

Constant and true.

One love

That has possessed me

One love

Thrilling me through

One song

My heart keeps singing

Of one love

Only for you. (CURTAIN)

SCENE

FOREST.

SNOW WHITE:

(HUMMING. PICKING FLOWERS. THE SUN IS BEGINNING TO SET. A LITTLE BIRD APPEARS) Hello there!
What’s the matter? Where are your mama and papa? Why, I believe you are lost.

HUNTSMAN:

(STANDING BY)

BIRD:
(CHIRPING)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, please don’t cry. (KNEELING BY THE BIRD)

HUNTSMAN:

(LOOKING AROUND SUSPICIOSLY)

BIRD:

(CHIRPING)

SNOW WHITE:

(TALKING TO THE BIRD) Come on, perk up. Won’t you smile for me? (LAUGHING) That’s better. Your
mama and papa can’t be far.

BIRDS:

(CHIRPING)

SNOW WHITE:

There they are! Can you fly? Good-bye. Good-bye!

HUNTSMAN:

(LOOMS MENACINGLY OVER SNOW WHITE WITH THE DAGGER DRAWN IN HIS HAND)

SNOW WHITE:

(SCREAMS)

HUNTSMAN:

I can’t do it, I can’t do it. (KNEELS AT HER FEET) Forgive me. I beg of your highness, forgive me.

SNOW WHITE:

I don’t understand!

HUNTSMAN:

She’s mad, jealous of you! She’ll stop at nothing!

SNOW WHITE:

But, but who?

HUNTSMAN:

The queen.

SNOW WHITE:

The queen?

HUNTSMAN:

Now, quick, child, run. Run away, hide! In the woods! Anywhere! Never come back! Now go. Go! Go!
Run! Run! Hide!

SNOW WHITE:

(EXIT)

HUNTSMAN:

(EXIT. CURTAIN)

SCENE

SCARY DARK WOODS.

OWL:

(ENTER SCREECHING)

SNOW WHITE:

(ENTER. RUNNING. SCARED BY THE OWL. SCREAMS) Ahh!

(HER DRESS GETS CAUGHT IN THE BRANCHES) Ahh!

(FALLS INTO A THORNY BUSH) Ahh!

(GASPS AT THE SIGHT OF A SCARY OLD TREE) Help!

(TRIPS AND FALLS DOWN SCREAMING. NEAR HER ARE LOGS OF WOOD THAT LOOK LIKE CROCODILES.
SCREAMS) Ahh!

BATS:

(ENTER. WIND HOWLS)

SNOW WHITE:
(SCREAMING. FALLS TO THE GROUND SOBBING)

LITTLE ANIMALS:

(ENTER AND SURROUND HER)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh!

ALL LITTLE ANIMALS:

(SCAMPER AWAY)

SNOW WHITE:

Please don’t run away. I won’t hurt you.

ANIMALS:

(RE-APPEAR)

SNOW WHITE:

I’m awfully sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you but you don’t know what I’ve been through. All because I
was afraid. I’m so ashamed of the fuss I’ve made. What do you do when things go wrong?

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(CLAPS HER HANDS) Oh! You sing a song!

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(LAUGHING. SINGS)

With a smile and a song

Life is just like a bright, sunny day

Your cares fade away

And your heart is young

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

With a smile and a song

All the world seems to waken anew

Rejoicing with you

As the song is sung

There’s no use in grumbling

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

When raindrops come tumbling

Remember you’re the one

Who can fill the world with sunshine

When you smile and you sing

Everything is in tune and it’s spring

And life flows along

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

With a smile and a song

BIRDS:
(TWITTERING)

ALL ANIMALS:

(EXCITED AND HAPPY)

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING)

I really feel quite happy now

I’m sure I’ll get along somehow

Everything is going to be alright

But I do need a place to sleep at night.

(CHUCKILING)

(TO THE RABBITS) I can’t sleep in the ground like you, (TO THE SQUIRRELS) or in a tree the way you do.
(TO THE BIRDS) And I’m sure no nest would possibly be big enough for me. Maybe you know where I can
stay. In the woods somewhere?

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

You do?

ANIMALS:

(CHATTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

Will you take me there?

ANIMALS:

(PART THE BRANCHES TO REVEAL A LITTLE COTTAGE)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, it’s adorable! Just like a doll’s house. I like it here. Peering in through the glass. Ooh, it’s dark inside.
(KNOCKS ON THE DOOR) Guess there’s no one home. (DOOR CREAKS OPEN) Hello? May I come in?
(CURTAIN)
SCENE

DWARFS COTTAGE.

SNOW WHITE:

(ENTER)

ANIMALS

(ENTER)

SNOW WHITE:

Shhh!

ALL:

(TIP TOE INTO THE HOUSE)

SNOW WHITE:

What a cute little chair! Why there are seven little chairs! Must be seven little children. And from the
look of this table, seven untidy little children. A pickaxe. A stocking, too! (LAUGHS. OPENING A POT) And
a shoe!

BIRDS:

(ASTONISHED WHISTLE)

SNOW WHITE:

And just look at that fireplace. It’s covered with dust. (BLOWS THE DUST)

SQUIRRELS:

(SNEEZE)

SNOW WHITE:

And look, cobwebs everywhere! My, my, my! What a pile of dirty dishes!

CHIPMUNKS:

(WHISTLING)

SNOW WHITE:
(GASPS) And just look at the broom!

RABBITS:

(TSKING)

SNOW WHITE:

Why, they’ve never swept this room. You think their mother would... (GASPS) Maybe they have no
mother. Then they’re orphans. That’s too bad. I know! We’ll clean the house and surprise them. Then
maybe they’ll let me stay.

BIRDS:

(TWITTERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(HANGS UP HER CLOAK. TO THE SQUIRRELS) Now, you wash the dishes.

(TO THE RABBITS) You tidy up the room.

(TO THE CHIPMUNKS) You clean the fireplace and I will use the broom. (SINGING)

Just whistle while you work

BIRDS:

(WHISTLING)

SNOW WHITE:

And cheerfully together

We can tidy up the place

So hum a merry tune (HUMMING)

It won’t take long when there’s a song

To help you set the pace

ANIMALS:

(DUSTING THE FURNITRE AND THE PLATES)

SNOW WHITE:

And as you sweep the room

Imagine that the broom

Is someone that you love and soon

You’ll find you’re dancing to the tune

(TO THE SQUIRRELS) Oh, no, no, no no! Put them in the tub.

When hearts are high the time will fly

So whistle while you work.

(TO THE RABBITS) UH-uh, uh-uh! Not under the rug.

(HUMMING)

CHIPMUNKS:

(PULLING AT THE COBWEBS AND WRAPPING A FEW LIKE A BALL OF YARN)

SNOW WHITE:

(HUMMING)

BIRDS:

(TWITTER. PUT FRESH FLOWERS IN A BOWL)

SNOW WHITE:

(HUMMING AND PICKING UP CLOTHES)

So whistle while you work.

Let’s see what’s behind this curtain. (DRAWS OPEN THE PARTITION) Oh, what adorable little beds! And
look, they have their names carved on them. Doc, Happy, Sneezy, Dopey... (LAUGHING) What funny
names for children! Grumpy, Bashful and Sleepy. (YAWNING) I’m a little sleepy myself. (LIES DOWN ON
THE BEDS) Oh! Oh! (FALLS ASLEEP)

ALL ANIMALS:

(TAKE A NAP. CURTAIN)

SCENE

DIAMOND MINE.

ALL DWARFS:
(SINGING)

We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig,

In our mine the whole day through

To dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

Is what we do

It ain’t no trick to get rich quick

If ya dig, dig, dig

With a shovel or a pick

In a mine

(ECHO) In a mine

Where a million diamonds shine

(ECHO) Shine

We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

From early morn till night

We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

Up everything in sight.

DOC:

(GRADING THE DIAMONDS, RUBIES AND EMERALDS)

ALL DWARFS:

We dig up diamonds by the score

A thousand rubies, sometimes more

Though we don’t know what we dig’em for

We dig, dig, dig-a-dig, dig

CUCKOO CLOCK:

(RINGS)
DOC:

Heigh-ho!

ALL:

Heigh-ho! (STOP WORK. PICK-UP THEIR PICKS, A SACK AND START MARCHING IN A ROW. SINGING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s home from work we go

(FLING THE SACKS INTO A STORE ROOM. SINGING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho!

Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s home from work we go.

DOPEY:

(LAST IN LINE. LOCKS THE DOOR AND HANGS UP THE KEY OUTSIDE)

ALL:

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho! Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s home from work we go (EXIT)

SCENE

FOREST.

DWARFS:

(ENTER MARCHING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho! Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s home from work we go

(WHISTLING)

DOC:

Look! Our house! The lit’s light... uh, the light’s lit.

ALL DWARFS:

Jiminy Crickets!

DOC:

The door is open.

HAPPY:

The chimney’s smoking.

DOC:

Something’s in there.

SLEEPY:

Maybe a ghost.

GRUMPY:

Or a goblin.

SNEEZY:

A demon.

BASHFUL:

Or a dragon.

GRUMPY:

Mark my words, there’s trouble a-brewin’. Felt it coming all day. My corns hurt.

DOC:

Gosh!
HAPPY:

That’s a bad sign.

ALL:

What’ll we do?

SLEEPY:

Let’s sneak up on it.

DOC:

(CLEARING HIS THROAT) Yes. We’ll, uh, squeak up... sneak up. Come on hen... uh, men. Follow me. (ALL
SNEAK UP TO THE COTTAGE WINDOW AND PEER IN)

GRUMPY:

Psst! (SIGNALS THEM TOWARDS THE OPEN DOOR)

SCENE

THE COTTAGE.

ALL:

(SNEAK QUIETLY INTO THE HOUSE)

DOPEY:

(SLAMS SHUT THE DOOR)

ALL:

Shh!

DOPEY:

(TO THE DOOR) Shh!

DOC:

(WHISPERING) Careful men. Search every cook and nanny... (STUTTERING) Hook and granny... crooked
fan... uh, search everywhere.

ALL:
Tip toe around the house.

DOC:

Look! The floor, it’s been swept!

GRUMPY:

Hah! Chair’s been dusted!

HAPPY:

Our window’s been washed.

BASHFUL:

Gosh, our cobwebs are missing.

SLEEPY:

Why, why, why, why, the whole place is clean!

GRUMPY:

There’s dirty work afoot.

SNEEZY:

Sink’s empty. Hey, someone stole our dishes!

DOC:

They ain’t stole. They’re hid in the cupboard.

SLEEPY:

My cup’s been washed. Sugar’s gone.

DOPEY:

(STANDING IN FRONT OF A POT)

DOC:

Something’s cooking. (SNIFFING) Smell’s good! (REACHES FOR A LADLE)

GRUMPY:

Don’t touch it, you fools! Might be poison, a brew.

DOC:

Look what’s happened to our stable... uh, table.

HAPPY:

Flowers!

SNEEZY:

Huh?

HAPPY:

Look, Goldenrod.

SNEEZY:

Don’t do it. Take them away. My nose! My hay fever! You know I can’t stand it. I can’t... I can’t... I... oh.
Ah... Ahhh (FOUR DWARFS BLOCK HIS NOSE. THE SNEEZE PASSES. SIGHS) Thanks! (SNEEZING LOUDLY)

ALL:

Shh!

GRUMPY:

Ya crazy fool! Fine time you picked to sneeze!

SNEEZY:

I couldn’t help it. I can’t tell. When you gotta, you gotta. I... I... I gotta. It’s coming...

GRUMPY:

(GASPS)

ALL:

(JUMP ON SNEEZY)

SNEEZY:

Oh! Ah... ah... ah!

HAPPY:

No, tie him tight.

BASHFUL:
I’ll tie it.

GRUMPY:

Make a hard knot.

SLEEPY:

There, that will hold him.

SNEEZY:

Thanks!

DOC:

Shh!

GRUMPY:

Quiet, you fool! You want to get us all killed?

SLEEPY:

What’s that? Sounded close

HAPPY:

It’s in the room right now.

BASHFUL:

It’s behind the curtain.

SNEEZY:

Yeah. In our bedroom.

DOC:

(STUTTERING) One of us has to go out and chase it in. (STUTTERING) In. Out.

ALL:

(LOOK AT DOPEY)

DOC:

(NERVOUSLY HOLDING UP A SMALL LIGHT IN HIS QUIVERING HAND) Here, take it. Don’t be nervous.
HAPPY:

Don’t be afraid, we are right behind you.

ALL:

Yes! Right behind ya.

DOPEY:

(GULPS. DRAWS BACK THE CURTAIN SLIGHTLY. QUIVERING)

SNOW WHITE:

(YAWNS AND SHIFTS UNDER THE COVERS)

DOPEY:

(SCREAMING, DROPS THE CURTAIN) Here it comes!

SNEEZY:

It’s after us, don’t let it out.

SLEEPY:

Here it comes. Now’s our chance.

HAPPY:

Get it now!

SNOW WHITE:

(SCREAMS)

DOC:

What is it?

BASHFUL:

Why, it... it’s a girl!

SLEEPY:

She’s mighty purdy.

SNEEZY:
She’s beautiful, just like an Angel.

GRUMPY:

Angel, hah! She’s a female! And all female’s is poison! They’re full of wicked wiles.

BASHFUL:

What are wicked wiles.

GRUMPY:

I don’t know. But I’m against’em.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, dear. I wonder if you are the children. Why, why, you’re little men! How do you do?

ALL:

(STARE AT HER IN SILENCE)

SNOW WHITE:

I said, how do you do?

GRUMPY:

How do you do what? (FOLDS HIS ARMS DEFIANTLY)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, you can talk! I’m so glad! Now don’t tell me who you are, let me guess. I know, you’re doc.

DOC:

(CHUCKLES) Why, why, why, yes. Yes! That’s true.

SNOW WHITE:

And you are Bashful.

BASHFUL:

(BLUSHING) Oh, gosh!

SLEEPY:

(YAWNS)
SNOW WHITE:

And you, you’re sleepy.

SLEEPY:

(CHUCKLING) How’d you guess?

SNOW WHITE:

And you?

SNEEZY:

Ah.. Ah...

HAPPY, DOPEY:

(PLUG HIS NOSE. HAPPY CHUCKLES)

SNOW WHITE:

And you are Sneezy. Yes, you must be...

HAPPY:

Happy, ma’am. That’s me. (CHUCKLING) And this is Dopey. He don’t talk none. (LAUGHING)

SNOW WHITE:

You mean he can’t talk?

HAPPY:

He don’t know. He never tried.

DOPEY:

(NODDING VIGOROUSLY)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, that’s too bad.

GRUMPY:

(FOLDING HIS ARMS DEFIANTLY)

SNOW WHITE:
Oh! (IN A GRUMPY VOICE) You must be Grumpy.

DWARFS:

(LAUGH)

DOC:

(SHOVING HIM WITH A FINGER) Oh, yes! Yes!

GRUMPY:

Hah! We know who we are. Ask her who she is and what she’s a-doin’ here.

DOC:

Hmph! Yeah! What are you and who are you doin’? What are you... who are you, me dear?

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, how silly of me. I’m Snow White.

DOC:

Snow White?

ALL:

The princess?

SNOW WHITE:

Yes.

DOC:

(CHUCKLES) Well... Well, my, my dear Quincess... uh, Princess. We’re, uh, we’re honoured. Yes, we’re, uh,
we’re...

GRUMPY:

Mad as hornets!

DOC:

Mad as hornets! No, no, we’re not. We’re bad as cornets... no, no, as glad as... What was I saying?

GRUMPY:

Nothing! Just standing there sputtering like a doodlebug!

DOC:

(READY TO BOX GRUMPY) Who, who, who, who’s buttering like a spoodledug?

GRUMPY:

Aw, shut up and tell her to get out!

SNOW WHITE:

(CLASPING HER HANDS TOGETHER. PLEADINGLY) Please don’t send me away! If you do, she’ll kill me.

ALL:

Kill you?

HAPPY:

Who will?

DOC:

Yes, who?

SNOW WHITE:

My stepmother the queen.

ALL:

The Queen? She’s wicked! She’s bad! She’s mighty mean!

GRUMPY:

She’s a witch! I’m warnin’ya. If the queen finds her here, she’ll swoop down and wreak her vengeance on
us!

SNOW WHITE:

Bt she doesn’t know where I am!

GRUMPY:

She don’t, eh? She knows everything. She’s full of black magic. She can even make herself invisible. Pffft!
Might be in this room right now.

ALL:

(SCARED. LOOK AROUND SUSPICIOSLY)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, she’ll never find me here. If you let me stay, I’ll keep house for you. I’ll wash and sweep and sew and
cook and...

ALL:

Cook?

DOC:

Can you make dapple lumpkins... uh, lumple dapplins?

SLEEPY, SNEEZY:

Apple dumplings!

DOC:

Eh, yes! Crapple dumpkins.

SNOW WHITE:

Yes, and plum pudding and gooseberry pie...

ALL:

Gooseberry pie? Hooray! She stays!

SNOW WHITE:

(STIRRING THE POT)

ALL:

(SNIFFING) Ah!

SNOW WHITE:

Soup!

ALL:

Hooray! (CHATTERING. ALL SIT AT THE TABLE. ARGUING)

SNOW WHITE:

Uh-uh, uh-uh! Just a minute. Supper’s not quite ready. You’ll just have time to wash.

ALL:
Wash? Wash?

GRUMPY:

Wash? Hah! I knew there was a catch to it.

SLEEPY:

Why wash?

BASHFUL:

What for? We ain’t goin’ nowhere.

SNEEZY:

It ain’t New Year’s.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, perhaps you have washed.

DOC:

Perhaps we... yes! Perhaps we have.

SNOW WHITE:

But when?

DOC:

When? When. Uh, you said when... (STUTTERING) Why, last week. Why, recently!

ALL:

Yes, recently!

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, recently! Let me see your hands.

ALL:

(TUCK THEIR HANDS BEHIND THEIR BACK)

SNOW WHITE:

Let me see your hands.

DOC:

(STICKING OUT HIS HANDS FOR INSPECTION)

SNOW WHITE:

Why, Doc, I’m surprised!

ALL:

(NERVOUS CHUCKLING)

SNOW WHITE:

(TO BASHFUL) Come on, let’s see them.

BASHFUL

Oh, Bashful, my, my, my!

SNOW WHITE:

(TO HAPPY) And you? (TSKING)

SNEEZY:

(STICKS OUT HIS HANDS)

SNOW WHITE:

(GASPING) Worse than I thought!

DOPEY:

(STICKS OUT HIS HANDS)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh!

HAPPY:

(STICKS OUT HIS HANDS)

SNOW WHITE:

(GASPS) How shocking!

SLEEPY:
(STICKS OUT HIS HANDS)

SNOW WHITE:

(TSKING)

GRUMPY:

(FOLDING HIS ARMS IN DEFIANCE)

SNOW WHITE:

Goodness me, this will never do. March straight outside and wash or you’ll not get a bite to eat.

ALL DWARFS:

March out of the house. (EXIT)

GRUMPY:

Huh!

SNOW WHITE:

Well, aren’t you going to wash?

GRUMPY:

(TURNS HIS BACK ON SNOW WHITE)

SNOW WHITE:

What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?

GRUMPY:

(STICKS OUT A TONGUE AT SNOW WHITE. EXIT)

SNOW WHITE:

(LAUGHS. CURTAIN)

SCENE

WATER TROUGH. OUTSIDE THE COTTAGE.

GRUMPY:
(SITS ON A BARREL OUTSIDE THE COTTAGE) Hah, women!

DOC:

Courage, men, courage. Don’t be nervous.

ALL:

(STEPPING UP TO THE TROUGH)

HAPPY:

(STICKS IN A FINGER) Gosh, it’s wet!

SNEEZY:

(STICKS IN HIS FINGER. SPUTTERS) It’s cold too!

SLEEPY:

We ain’t gonna do it, are we?

DOC:

Well, it’ll please the Princess.

BASHFUL:

I’ll take a chance for her!

ALL:

Me too!

GRUMPY:

Hah! Her wiles are beginning to work. Bt I’m warning ya, you give’em an inch and they’ll walk all over ya!

DOC:

Don’t listen to that old warthog. Come on now, men.

SNEEZY:

How hard do ya scrub?

SLEEPY:

Will or whiskers shrink?

HAPPY:

Do ya get in the tub?

BASHFUL:

Do ya have to wash where it doesn’t show?

DOC:

Now, now, now, don’t get excited. Here we go.

(SINGING)

Step up to the tub

‘Taint no disgrace

Just pull up your sleeves and get them in place

Then scoop up the water

And rub it on your face and go...

Sputter, sputter, sputter (SPUTTERING ACTION)

Pick up the soap and don’t try to bluff

Work up a lather and when you got enough

Get your hands full of water

And you snort and you snuff and go...

Sputter, sputter, sputter (SPUTTERING ACTION)

You douse and souse

Rub and you scrub

You sputter and splash all over the tub

You may be cold

And wet when you’re done

But you gotta admit

It’s good and clean fun

So splash all you like

‘Taint any trick

As soon as you’re through

You’ll feel mighty slick.

GRUMPY:

Bunch of old nanny goats.

Ya, make me sick going... Sputter, sputter, sputter (SPUTTERING ACTION) Hah! Next thing you know she’ll
be tyin’ your beards up in pink ribbons and smellin’ ya up with stuff called ‘parfoom’. Hah! (SPITTING)

ALL:

(DRYING OFF)

GRUMPY:

A fine bunch of water lilies you turned out to be. I’d like to see anybody make me wash if I didn’t wanna.

DOC:

(CLEARS THROAT. WHISPERING TOGETHER. CHUCKILING. WHISTLE AND MARCH OVER TO GRUMPY)

ALL:

Get him! (POUNCE ON GRUMPY)

GRUMPY:

Hey, let go of me!

DOC:

Get him over to the tub. Get him over to the tub.

GRUMPY:

Let me loose you fools! Let me loose!

DOC:

Get him up on the tub. Get him up! Hang on to him! Bang him! Pound him! Get him up on the tub! On
the tub. That’s the tub. That’s the tub. Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t get excited! Get the soap!

DOPEY:
(NODS)

DOC:

Hey, steady, men. We’ll get him there. We’ll get him.

HAPPY:

Never say die. Never say die.

GRUMPY:

You don’t...

ALL:

(PLACE HIM IN THE TUB AND SCRUB HIM WITH SOAP AND A BRUSH)

DOC:

Now, scrub good and hard

It can’t be denied

That’ll he look mighty cute as soon as he’s dried

ALL:

Well, it’s good for the soul

And it’s good for the hide to go... (DRYING GRUMPY)

BASHFUL:

Ain’t he sweet? (SNIFFING GRUMPY) Smells like a petunia.

ALL:

(LAUGHING)

HAPPY:

He sure is cute!

GRUMPY:

You’ll pay dearly for this!

SNOW WHITE:
(VOICE HEARD) Supper! (CLANKING)

DOC:

Supper!

ALL:

Food. Hooray! (CURTAIN)

SCENE

QUEEN’S CHAMBERS.

QUEEN:

Magic mirror on the wall, who now is the fairest one of all?

MAGIC MIRROR:

Over the seven jewelled hills

Beyond the seventh fall,

In the cottage of the seven dwarfs

Dwells Snow White, the fairest one of all.

QUEEN:

Snow White lies dead in the forest. The huntsman has brought me proof. Behold her heart!

MAGIC MIRROR;

Snow White still lives,

The fairest in the land.

‘Tis the heart of a pig,

You hold in your hand.

QUEEN:

The heart of a pig! Then I’ve been tricked! (STORMS OUT. EXIT)
SCENE

DUNGEON.

QUEEN:

The heart of a pig! Blundering fool! I’ll go to the dwarf’s cottage in a disguise so complete no one will
ever suspect. Now a formula to transform my beauty into ugliness, change my queenly raiment to a
peddler’s cloak. (READING FROM THE SPELL BOOK)

Mummy dust to make me old. (ADDS TO THE BREW)

To shroud my clothes, the black of night. (ADDS TO THE BREW)

To age my voice, an old hag’s cackle. (ADDS TO THE BREW)

To whiten my hair, a scream of fright. (ADDS TO THE BREW)

A blast of wind to fan my hate! (ADDS TO THE BREW)

A thunderbolt (THUNDER RUMBLING) to mix it well. Now, begin thy magic spell. (DRINKS THE POTION.
CHOKES. GASPS. MOANS. THUNDER CRACKING. WIND HOWLING) Look. My hands! (IN A RASPY VOICE)
My voice! My voice. (CACKLING. CHANGES INTO AN OLD LADY) A perfect disguise. (CACKLING) And
now... a special sort of death for one so fair. What shall it be? Ah! A poisoned apple! (READING IN THE
SPELL BOOK) Sleeping Death. (CACKLING. READS) One taste of the Poisoned Apple and the victim’s eyes
will close forever in the Sleeping Death... (TAKES AN APPLE) dip the apple in the brew. Let the sleeping
death seep through! Look! On the skin! The symbol of what lies within. (PULLS A BLACK SKULL SHAPED
APPLE OUT OF THE STEW) Now, turn red to tempt Snow White. (PULLS OUT A RED APPLE) To make her
hunger for a bite. (CACKLING) When she breaks the tender peel to taste the apple in my hand, her breath
will still, her blood congeal. Then I’ll be fairest in the land! (CACKLING) But wait! There may be an
antidote. Nothing must be overlooked. Oh, here it is! (READING FOM THE SPELL BOOK) Poison Apple
Antidote. The victim of the sleeping death can be revived only by Love’s First Kiss... Love’s First Kiss, no
fear of that. The Dwarfs will think she’s dead. She’ll be buried alive! (PLACES THE APPLE IN A BASKET OF
APPLES) Buried alive! The little men will be away and she’ll be all alone with a harmless old peddler
woman. A harmless old peddler woman! (CACKLING. CURTAIN)

SCENE

DWARFS COTTAGE. YODELLING AND DANCING.

SNOW WHITE:

(WATCHING THE DWARFS DANCE. CLAPPING)

DOC:
(SINGING) I’d like to dance

And tap my feet

Bt they won’t keep in rhythm

You see I washed them both today

And I can’t do nothin’ with’em

ALL:

Ho-hum, the tune is dumb

The words don’t mean a thing

Isn’t this a silly song for anyone to sing?

DWARFS:

(LAUGHING)

BASHFUL:

(SINGING) I (BLUSHING) Oh, gosh!

I chased a polecat up a tree

Way out upon a limb

And when he got the best of me

I got the worst of him (LAUGHING BURIES HIS FACE IN HIS BEARD)

ALL:

Ho-hum, the tune is dumb

The words don’t mean a thing

Isn’t this a silly song for anyone to sing?

(YODELLING. DANCING. MUSIC STOPS. ALL CHEER)

SLEEPY:

(YAWNING)

SNOW WHITE:
(LAUGHING) That was fun!

DOC:

Now you do something.

SNOW WHITE:

Well, what shall I do?

SNEEZY:

Tell s a story.

ALL:

Yes, tell us a story.

DOC:

A true story.

HAPPY:

A love story.

SNOW WHITE:

Well, once there was a princess.

DOC:

Was the princess you?

SNOW WHITE:

(NODS) And she fell in love.

SNEEZY:

Was it hard to do?

SNOW WHITE:

(CHUCKLES) Oh, it was very easy. Anyone could see that the Prince was charming. The only one for me.

BASHFUL:

Was he strong and handsome?

SLEEPY:

Was he big and tall?

SNOW WHITE:

There’s nobody like him anywhere at all.

BASHFUL:

Did he say he loved ya?

SLEEPY:

Did he steal a kiss?

SNOW WHITE:

(SINGING) He was so romantic I could not resist

Someday my prince will come

Someday we’ll meet again

And away to his castle we’ll go

To be happy forever

I know

GRUMPY:

Hah! Mush!

SNOW WHITE:

Someday when spring is here

We’ll find or love anew

And the birds will sing

And wedding bells will ring

Some day when my dreams

Come true

ALL:
(SIGHING)

CLOCK:

(CHIMES)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, my goodness! It’s past bedtime. Go right to bed.

DOC:

Wait! Hold on there, men! The Princess will sleep in our beds.

SNOW WHITE:

But where will you sleep?

DOC:

Oh, we’ll be quite comfortable out here.

GRUMPY

In a pig’s eye!

DOC:

In a pig’s eye... sty. No, no! I mean... we’ll be comfortable, won’t we, men?

ALL:

Oh, yes. Mighty comfortable.

DOC:

Now don’t you worry about us.

HAPPY:

We’ll be alright, ma’am.

DOC:

Go right on to bed now, my dear.

SNOW WHITE:

Well, if you insist. Good night.

ALL:

Goodnight, Princess.

SNOW WHITE:

You’re sure you’ll be comfortable?

ALL:

Oh, yes. Very comfortable.

SNOW WHITE:

Well, pleasant dreams. (DRAWS THE CURTAIN)

ALL:

Pleasant dreams. (CURTAIN)

SCENE

FOREST. OUTSIDE THE COTTAGE.

DOC:

Now, don’t forget, my dear. The... the old queen’s a sly one, full of witch craft. So beware of strangers.

SNOW WHITE:

Don’t worry, I’ll be alright. See you tonight.

BASHFUL:

Be awful careful ‘cause if anything’d happen to you, I, I...

SNOW WHITE:

(KISSING HIM ON THE FOREHEAD) Good-bye.

BASHFUL:

Oh, gosh!

GRUMPY:

Hah! Disgustin’!
HAPPY:

And be sure to watch out... (KISSES HIM)

DOPEY:

(GETS A KISS)

DWARFS:

(SINGING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s off to work we go

(WHISTLING)

GRUMPY:

(TO SNOW) Now I’m warnin’ ya. Don’t let nobody or nothin’ in the house.

SNOW WHITE:

Why, Grumpy, you do care. (KISSES HIS FOREHEAD) Good-bye Grumpy.

ALL DWARFS:

(EXIT. SINGING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It’s off to work we go

QUEEN:

(ENTER. SINISTER CHUCKLING) All alone, my pet?

SNOW WHITE:

Why, why, yes, I am. But...

QUEEN:

The little men are not here?

SNOW WHITE:

No, they’re not, but...

QUEEN:

Mmm-hmm. (SNIFFING) Making pies?

SNOW WHITE:

Yes, gooseberry pies.

QUEEN:

Its apple pies that make the menfolks’ mouths water. Pies made from apples like these. (CHUCKLING)

SNOW WHITE:

Oh, they do look delicious.

QUEEN:

Yes! But wait till you taste one, dearie. (SINISTER CHUCKLING) Like to try one? Hmm. Go on. Go on, have
a bite.

BIRDS:

(ATTACK THE WITCH. SHE DROPS THE APPLE)

SNOW WHITE:

Stop it! Stop it! Go away! Go away! Shame on you, frightening a poor old lady.

QUEEN:

Oh, I thought I’d lost it. (PICKING IT UP)

SNOW WHITE:

There, there. I’m sorry. (GIVING HER A CHAIR TO SIT)

QUEEN:

Oh! My heart! Oh, my... My poor heart. A drink of water, please.

SNOW WHITE:

(RETURNS WITH A GLASS OF WATER)

QUEEN:

And because you have been so good to poor old granny, I’ll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary
apple. It’s a magic wishing apple.
SNOW WHITE:

A wishing apple?

QUEEN:

Yes! One bite and all your dreams will come true.

SNOW WHITE:

Really?

QUEEN:

Yes, girlie. Now make a wish and take a bite. There must be something your little heart desires. Perhaps
there’s someone you love.

SNOW WHITE:

Well, there is someone.

QUEEN:

I thought so, I thought so! (LAGHHING) Old granny knows a young girls heart. Now, take the apple,
dearie, and make a wish.

SNOW WHITE:

I wish... I wish...

QUEEN:

That’s it, go on! Go on.

SNOW WHITE:

And that he will carry me away to his castle where we will live happily ever after.

QUEEN:

Fine! Fine! Now take a bite. Don’t let the wish grow cold!

SNOW WHITE:

(TAKES A BITE) Oh, I feel strange.

QUEEN:

Her breath will still.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh. Oh.

QUEEN:

Her blood congeals.

SNOW WHITE:

Oh. (FALLS TO THE GROUND)

QUEEN:

(CACKLING. THUNDER CLAP) Now I’ll be fairest in the land! (CACKLING. CURTAIN)

SCENE

FOREST. DWARFS WALKING TO WORK.

DWARFS:

(SINGING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, heigh-o

It’s off to work we go

(WHISTLING)

Heigh-ho, heigh-o...

ANIMALS:

(ENTER)

DOC:

Hey, look!

ANIMALS:

(PULLING AT THEIR CLOTHES)

SNEEZY:
Stop that!

SLEEPY:

Get away, boy. Get away!

BASHFUL:

Go on, shoo!

GRUMPY:

Go on! Get out of here!

HAPPY:

What ails these crazy birds?

DOC:

They’ve gone plumb daffy.

SNEEZY:

Yeah, they’ve... (GASPING AS HIS BEARD IS PULLED. SNEEZES)

SLEEPY:

Go on, get!

BASHFUL:

These pesky critters won’t stop.

HAPPY:

‘Taint natural.

DOC:

There’s something wrong.

GRUMPY:

They ain’t actin’ this way for nothin’.

SLEEPY:

Maybe the old queen’s got Snow White.

DOC:

The queen!

ALL:

Snow White!

GRUMPY:

The queen will kill her! We gotta save her!

DOC:

Yes! Yes! We, we, we gotta save her!

HAPPY

She’ll kill her.

BASHFUL:

What’ll we do?

DOC:

Yes, yes, what’ll we do?

GRUMPY:

Come on! Giddap!

ALL:

(EXIT IN A RUSH)

SCENE

FOREST OUTSIDE THE COTTAGE. SNOW WHITE LAYS IN A COFFIN.

DWARFS:

(SURROUND HER SOBBING)

ANIMALS:

(ALL GATHERED AND SAD)

NARRATOR:

... So beautiful even in death, that the dwarfs could not find it in their hearts to bury her, they fashioned
a coffin of glass and gold and kept eternal vigil at her side. The Prince, who had searched far and wide,
heard of the maiden who slept in the glass coffin.

PRINCE:

(ENTER. SINGING)

One song

I have but one song

One song, one song

Only for you

One heart

Tenderly beating, ever entreating

Constant and true

So true

One heart

That has possessed me

One love

Thrilling me through

So true

One song

My heart keeps singing

Keeps singing

Of one love

Only for you... (KISSES SNOW WHITE)

SNOW WHITE:

(BLINKS. OPENS HER EYES. YAWNS)

ALL:

(REJOICE. SINGING)

Someday when spring is here

We’ll find or love anew

And the birds will sing

And wedding bells ring

NARRATOR:

And they lived happily ever after. (BELLS CLANGING)

ALL:

(SINGING)

Some day when my dreams

Come true!

Missy Sassy Pants at 23:43

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