November 16, 2017

ART-114-100

Compare and contrast; Extra credit

The two pieces of art (discussed in this paper) I (don’t insert yourself into a formal

paper) chose from our Art History one (I or One)book were very similar and different(this

is axiomatic –self evident), (Period, new sentence) the names (titles) of the art (pieces) were

the Berlin Kore and Spear Bearer. (This sentences should read something like: The two

works being discussed in this paper are the Berlin Kore and Spear Bearer )The Berlin Kore

is on page 117 and was found in a Keratea cemetery, (cite) therefore no specific artist was

named or recognized for his/her detailed, funerary work. This figure is made of marble.

There are rusty red paint remnants throughout the robe which indicates there were thin

gold sheets attached to the sculpture (cite). Also, the Berlin Kore is more than six feet tall

(six feet, three inches) (don’t use parenthesis in a formal paper) which shows the inaccurate

normal (inaccurate normal does not make sense. exaggerated, altered, inflated) human

measurements the artist created.(If you are pointing this out, then you need to explain why.

Why did the artist make the choice to distort the proportions?) My (It is not yours) (The)

second art work I (Don’t insert yourself into a formal paper) chose (chosen) was (is

titled)the named the Spear Bearer which is on page 137 and ( Period. New Sentence) the

original was created in 450-440 BCE but sadly didn’t not make it. (Didn’t make it what?
Better: it was destroyed, it no longer exists) The artist of this work was named Polykleitos

Canon (incorrect) and he was known for the (as the) best theorist (What kind of theorist?

Mathematical, Medical, Botanical) during the High Classical Period. (cite)This sculpture

was made from marble and has a height of almost 7 feet (6 feet, 11 inches).(Don’t use

parenthesis in a formal paper) This shows the poor human life measurements but also

shows its excellent label it has received(semicolon here And this is poorly written) which is

perfect proportion. (Actually, if the base is 9 inches tall that would make the figure 6’2”

which is tall, but within the normal range for an adult male)

The first difference between the two pieces of art is that the Berlin Kore has

(includes) a symbol (symbolic object)that is very visible at first sight. She is holding a

pomegranate in her left hand, at her waist line. A pomegranate represents the God (god

when referring to a nonspecific or non monotheistic god) of the underworld who was

abducted by Hades and was responsible for the bringing of spring every year. (Actually it

represents Persephone, a female, who was abducted by Hades. And you need to cite the

place you got this information.)

The pomegranate shows the religious factor (association) that the Berlin Kore represents

because of the God of the underworld. The Spear Bearer was (is) not holding, sitting (?) or

associating (associated) with any type of materialistic symbol. Another distance I was able

to point out is how the Berlin Kore is very symmetrical (yes) and still. The lines and details

on the robe are perfectly even on both sides. There is no movement going on in this
sculpture. (Unlike) The Spear Bearer (which) is very life like and the sculpture is made to

look like he is in the middle of a movement. His left foot is poised on the ball of the foot.

(Use language that shows you are making a direct comparison)

The first similarity is the material used in these two detailed pieces of art

is the material used. The Berlin Kore is made of white and tan marble with red

clay so gold sheets could be attached and paint because it is assumed that the art was

painted or gilded just on the robe.(you already noted this and did not cite it there either)

All the different types of material add detail and characteristic. (character?) The Spear

Bearer was created by white and tan marble and wood, but

the wooden tree trunk (No wood!!! Just marble made to look like wood) and braces strut

were added later on by the Romans. (cite) Another major similarity is the balance and

maturity (what does this mean?) in both of the pieces of art. In the Berlin Kore the women

had a big and bulky crown and thick clogs (shoes) (don’t use parenthesis in a formal paper)

and the robe falls over her shoulders symmetrically and parallel. The Spear Bearer is very

balanced throughout the whole body.(What kind of balance specifically? How is this

balance different that that of the Kore? Use proper terminology to describe this.) The left

leg that is slightly bent shows the position before or after a movement of the body. The legs,

arms, and shoulders are all positioned based on the middle axis. The last similarity I am

going to mention is the subject

matter both the Berlin Kore and the Spear Bearer have (comma) which is portraiture

(Goddess are not real human beings. So this cannot be a portrait) (semicolon) which is the

focus of a specific person or animal. The Berlin Kore is all about the Goddess and her

figure and the natural vibe she puts out. (Don’t use slang or jargon in a formal paper) The

Spear Bearer is a natural man standing or in the process of a type of motion and is casually

starring off in the distance. (Unless you know the specific person this represents, it is not a

portrait either) The whole portrait has a focus of him and the attention is only on him.

(This is a poorly constructed sentence.)

Both the Berlin Kore and the Spear Bearer use many different types of elements.

The first element is texture. In the Berlin Kore (comma) the robe adds indentions, bumps

and creases which all is touch perceived. (This is a poorly constructed sentence.) When

looking at this sculpture you can automatically tell there will be a wide variety of texture.

(Okay) When looking at the Spear Bearer you can see many realistic body features. The

face details are very clear to see this sculpture is also touch perceived. (This makes no

sense) The second element in these two sculptures is mass. Both sculptures take up a big

amount of space. The Berlin Kore is a large piece of art. This goddess is six feet and three

inches which is very large but realistic. She is also completely solid, three dimensional and

takes up space. The Spear Bearer is six feet, eleven inches which is very large and

unrealistic but still is a form of mass.

4 pages is not a 5 page paper. -10 points

Even though you used the Art History I book, you still need to cite information taken directly
from the book to use in your paper. -1 point for every non-cited piece of information you took
from the book. -5 points

The writing for this paper, in general, needs a lot of work. Grammar, sentence structure, over
all paper structure, argument structure, are all below par. You should have taken this to the
writing lab. -5 points

The factual information provided by the book was often incorrectly recounted when used in the
paper. You failed to read carefully and recheck your source for accuracy -5 points.

You failed to use logic, deduction, critical thinking when addressing the elements you were
supposed to be comparing to each other. And you only addressed texture and mass when other
elements and principles could also have been discussed. (in the extra page you left out) -5
points

20 points