CONTEXT

Relationships are essential and unavoidable. All of us are in relationships. Whether be it

in our family, friends-enemies, school, church, bf-gf, etc. we are, in one way or another, part
of a relationship. One common ingredient of these relationships is LOVE. If we treat our
relationships with love, success in our relationship is guaranteed.
But obviously in all relationships, people stand at different levels. We communicate
differently, our expectations are different and our emotions are rarely in the same point. These
circumstances lead to create an atmosphere of frustration when you think you are doing a good
job at expressing your love and yet the other person is not feeling loved.
For instance, you could be communicating love to your mom by buying her gifts. But she
doesn’t seem to be happy about it, and keeps on complaining about you not helping her in the
house chores. And now you are hurt because instead of appreciation, you get criticism. Turns
out that she feels loved when she says good things to her. This is an example of
miscommunication. It’s like telling the person you love her in Chinese when her love language
is French.
Hence, there is a need to know how we communicate ourselves to others by knowing our
Love Language.

BACKGROUND
“The 5 Love Langguages” is a book by Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned marriage
counselor, and director of marriage seminars. It outlines five ways to express and experience
love that Chapman calls "love languages": receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation,
acts of service (devotion), and physical touch.
In his book, Chapman said that “Every child is born with a love tank and I compare it to
a gas tank in a car. When the love tank is full the world looks beautiful and we feel
loved. When the love tank is empty we feel discouraged and uncertain about ourselves and our
relationships.”
Our goal is to make the love tank of the persons we love FULL.

Interpreting Your Profile Score

The highest score indicates your primary love language. It’s not uncommon to have two
high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means
two languages are important to you.

The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and
which probably don’t affect you very much on an emotional level. You may have scored more
highly on certain love languages than others, but do not dismiss those other languages as
insignificant. Your partner may express love in those ways, and it will be helpful to you to
understand this about him/her.

WHAT LOVE IS AND WHAT IT’S NOT

Now that we know how we can most effectively our love to others, let us define love and
break some misconceptions about it.
1. Love is felt but it is not just an emotion
2. Love is a sacrifice but it does not automatically imply pain
3. Love is present all around, it is not scarce nor rare
4. Love should be given all out but it should know its boundaries
5. Love makes us happy but it is not a cure for loneliness

BRIEF EXPLANATION OF THE 5 LOVE LANGGUAGES

(Raise of hands for each)

1. Words of Affirmation:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited
compliments mean the world to you. You are greatly influenced by the words you hear through
the years. Whether in a positive or negative way.

Hearing the words of encouragement, words of praise and kind words are important—hearing
the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are
not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time:
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.
Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and
knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special
and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts:
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love,
thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture
shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed
to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be
disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
4. Acts of Service:
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease
the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The
words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments,
and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch:
Our body is made for touching. There are people, however, who are just touchier because of
their upbringing or exposure. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not
surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on
the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and
destructive.