Hamlet

Cast (in order of appearance)

Narrator
Ghost of Hamlet’s Father
Claudius
Hamlet
Ophelia
Gertrude

Prologue - Hamlet plays piano or piano orchestration enters the narrator.

Narrator: Hey. My name is King Hamlet (writes name on board, draws crown). I am dead
(crosses name out). I was killed by my brother, Claudius (writes name), who is now married to
my wife Gertrude (writes name, draws heart). I have a son, Prince Hamlet (writes name) who is
an angsty teen (draws sad face). We also have Ophelia (writes name). She likes Hamlet but
Hamlet doesn’t like her. He doesn’t really like anyone. Now, let’s get into the story.

Scene 1 - Hamlet enters, circles name on board to indicate who he is. The narrator turns the
lights off during the Ghostbusters theme and when the lights come back on the Narrator
assumes the role of the Ghost.

Ghost: I decide to reveal myself to Hamlet to tell him about my death.

Ghost: I am thy father's spirit,

Doomed for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison house,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes like stars start from their spheres,
Thy knotted and combinèd locks to part,
And each particular hair to stand an end
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine.
But this eternal blazon must not be
To ears of flesh and blood. List, list, O, list!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love.

The ghostbusters theme comes back to assume the ghost resumes his position to narrator.
Narrator: Hamlet gets upset and takes it out on Ophelia, oh enter Ophelia (Ophelia enters and
circles her name). Hamlet freaks out on Ophelia because he’s angsty and calls her a word that
rhymes with bore.
Hamlet: Get thee to a nunnery!
Narrator: Ophelia doesn’t take this too well.
Ophelia: O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!
The courtier's, scholar's, soldier's, eye, tongue, sword,
Th' expectancy and rose of the fair state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
Th' observ'd of all observers- quite, quite down!
And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
That suck'd the honey of his music vows,
Now see that noble and most sovereign reason,
Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth
Blasted with ecstasy. O, woe is me
T' have seen what I have seen, see what I see!
(Ophelia storms off)
Narrator: (to Hamlet) Girls, am I right?
(Hamlet storms off)
Narrator: (to audience) Guys, am I right?

Scene Change: music shift to ominous organ chords

(Hamlet enters)

Narrator: Hamlet being upset like he always is, decides to storm off and complain some more,
but sees Uncle Claudius praying (pull-up Claudius face). Hamlet decides whether or not to kill
him.

Hamlet: Now might I do it pat, now he is praying;

And now I’ll do’t. And so he goes to heaven;
And so am I revenged. That would be scann’d:
A villain kills my father; and for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
O, this is hire and salary, not revenge.
He took my father grossly, full of bread;
With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May;
 And how his audit stands who knows save heaven?
But in our circumstance and course of thought,
‘Tis heavy with him: and am I then revenged,
To take him in the purging of his soul,
When he is fit and season’d for his passage?
No!
Up, sword; and know thou a more horrid hent:
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed;
At gaming, swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in’t;
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damn’d and black
As hell, whereto it goes.

(Hamlet exits)

Narrator: Not much happens for a while except for Ophelia, remember her, she drowns (splash
SFX). No one knows why, but she’s dead now and Gertrude recounts it.

(Gertrude enters, sad)

Gertrude: There is a willow grows aslant a brook,
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream.
There with fantastic garlands did she come
Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples,
That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,
But our cold maids do dead men's fingers call them.
There on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds
Clamb'ring to hang, an envious sliver broke,
When down her weedy trophies and herself
Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide
And, mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up;
Which time she chaunted snatches of old tunes,
As one incapable of her own distress,
Or like a creature native and indued
Unto that element; but long it could not be
Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,
Pull'd the poor wretch from her melodious lay
To muddy death
 (Hamlet enters and Claudius’ headshot comes back up)

Narrator: Now the ending gets a bit confusing. With a series of misplaced poisonings. Claudius’
initial plot to poison Hamlet goes wrong and Gertrude dies (cross Gertrude’s name off, Gertrude
falls to the floor). Through more accidental poisonings, Hamlet kills Cladius (cross off name,
close computer), and Hamlet gets poisoned (cross of name, drop dead). And now, everyone is
dead...more or less...the end.