Amanda Moulton

Dr. Breeanne Matheson

English 2010

October 29, 2019

The Importance of Communication and Relationship Education in High School Students

Communication is often overlooked as a skill that is needed to be expanded in human

minds. It’s something that has been used since we were newborn babies through crying, and later

developed through the use of speech. Because it is so common, we as people often underestimate

the importance of well-developed interpersonal communication skills. In an article written about

the importance of pragmatics in communication, it states, “Communication can easily be

accomplished but it is not easily explained. One of the most essential issues in healthy

communication is to realize how to say than what to say... People have different backgrounds,

feelings, capacity of comprehensions, ages, sexes thus there are various sense-makings”

(KÜÇÜKBEZİRCİ, 2013). This shows that communication is something that is more complex

than people realize, and it needs to be taught more extensively.

Within today’s world, it is crucial for young adults to learn these skills while they are in high

school to prepare them for the many milestones ahead of them, as well as how to prepare them

for communicating with different types of people. Young adults will benefit from learning this

life skill in high school, because it will better prepare them for life after high school. While these
skills could be taught to college students, it would be helpful for teenagers who choose not to go

to college and start working right after they graduate high school. In Utah, many students also

start families only a few years after they graduate. If taught these skills in high school, they will

be more prepared in interpersonal communications with their future spouses, and their employers

while building a life for themselves. Interpersonal communication skills should be taught in

Utah’s high school curriculum because it will better prepare them for marriages and families, to

develop friendships and maintain healthy social skills, and to prepare them for communicating

and teamwork skills in their future work environments.

In the United States, and more specifically Utah, marriage is of the main focal points of

life. There are many teenagers who consider marriage even right out of high school. Being

married at a young age can bring many challenges to the lives of the young adults wanting to

make a commitment to one another. Jumping into married life is not easy. When couples learn

how to communicate, they can understand each other’s frustrations, likes, and dislikes as well as

find compromises. Couples can learn how to show their spouse love and affection by expressing

how they want to be loved.

One of the biggest factors to disagreements, and a lack of effective communication, is

assumptions about what another person is thinking which can be difficult because there are so

many different types of people on the planet with many ways of thinking. These opposing

thought processes often show up in a marriage between a husband and wife. In a study on

Intimacy in Marriage, results showed that women often developed intimacy when their partner

made them feel “validated, accepted, and cared for” while men felt more intimate with their
partner when “engaging in self-revealing disclosure”. Researchers noted, “These ndings imply

that husbands and wives place somewhat different emphasis on the components of the process

that contribute to their respective daily feelings of intimacy” (Laurenceau, Barret, Rovine, 2005).

Understanding how to become closer with a spouse, or a partner, in life by learning how to talk

and discuss things that would help them feel more intimate would help struggling marriages

improve greatly. To reinforce this idea, it is critical for couples to learn these principles at a

young age where they would be able to practice these ideas before they are even married.

Couples have many disputes throughout their marriage and having poor communication skills

halts these couples from solving their issues. In a study done to mediate Demand-Withdrawal

communication (DW communication) the author points out, “One of the most widely studied

patterns of communication between members of a romantic couple is the DW pattern,

characterized by one partner pursuing or demanding some change, and the other avoiding or

withdrawing from the discussion. Most commonly observed in distressed, this pattern of

communication accounts for lower relationship satisfaction beyond the effect of general

negativity” (Jarnecke, Reilly, and South, 2015). If people can learn this in high school, it would

give these students the knowledge to know how to spot and solve these communication problems

as well as work them out throughout their whole marriage. This would allow them to have a

happier marriage and family overall.

Social skills are also crucial to high school students as they develop friendships among their

peers. Having knowledge of interpersonal communication skill taught to them in their school

curriculums will benefit them as they gain friendships and connections with each other and other
people in their lives. “Friendship relations become particularly important during adolescence and

young adulthood as young people move away from family… conflict can arise among those who

have been friends for longer periods. Understanding how conflict occurs in friendships, as well

as how forgiveness is communicated between friends, is therefore important.” They then went on

to say that friendship helps to “deal with challenging life experiences and negative emotions like

stress” (Antony, Sheldon, 2019). Friendships developed in the late adolescent and early

adulthood stages in life are crucial for the mental health of young people because their lives are

changing so fast, with new stresses that they must deal with. When high school students are

taught how to connect with others through effective communication skills, they can understand

how to make long lasting connections that can bring happiness to them throughout their lives.

When people do not know how to express their feelings through interpersonal communication

skills, it is difficult to remain in friendships for long periods of time. High school students need

learn how to communicate to apologize, show forgiveness, and express their feelings towards

their peers. Having these connections will further improve their social skills for many different

events that take place in their lives such as being voices in their communities, working as teams

in religious groups or social events, and more typically in their future occupations and

connections in the workplace.

Communication skills are universally essential skills in the work force. Whether it be

communicating with clients or costumers, collaborating on team projects with coworkers,

promoting equality in the workplace, or professionally discussing issues with a boss,

interpersonal communication is extremely important for conversations and discussions run

smoothly. In today’s society, equality of people of different race, religion, sexual orientation,

age, and gender is emphasized and fought for in the workplace. The best way to fight for equality

is to stand up for these rights in a professional and approachable way which can only be

promoted through learning interpersonal communication tools such as I-statements, active

listening, compromise, and asking question techniques. When promoting equality in the

workplace, it is equally important to speak up through effective communication along with

strong language skills.

In a journal about the importance of women speaking up in the workplace, different women’s

experiences were studied to understand the importance of powerful language skills. “By social

interaction with a colleague and the use of language to make the problem known within the

larger network, Betty and her colleague acted agentially to change the course of the abusive

interactions. She claimed her position as a documentation specialist by interjecting herself into

the conversation and letting the men know that she could not be ignored. Speaking up, although

it seems to be difficult for some, especially those who may be younger is an effective way of

asserting agency. Language shapes social interactions, and if women allow difficult situations or

people to silence them, they miss an opportunity to negotiate power” (Petersen, 2018). Giving

high schoolers the tools they need that are related to effective communication would show them

many different efforts they can work towards with powerful language skills. This would

significantly build onto the cause of promoting equality for people in our state of Utah as well as

our country.
These tools for effective communication also make a huge impact in furtherance in employment,

specifically in promotions. Research talks about the significance of strong interpersonal skills.

“In their presentation…Reinsch and Gardner (2011) reported the results of a national survey

revealing that senior business executives maintain that employees with strong interpersonal skills

are most likely to be considered for promotions. The study also indicated that writing

ability…was not viewed as a primary concern when considering executives for promotion. The

articles in this theme section extend the findings of Reinsch and Gardner by indicating that

employers would rather hire employees with well-developed interpersonal skills than those with

demonstrated writing ability” (DeKay, 2012). High school students are often taught about

important skills they need to further themselves when they graduate college and start working in

their careers. While English, math and science are important subjects to learn, communication

skills are often what take them higher in their careers leading to more success. Having the

knowledge of interpersonal tools in the adolescent age will allow them to further expand as they

use these skills through college, and eventually as they are employed.

High school students need to be taught communication skills as part of their curriculum because

they are going through a crucial stage of life. As they are completing their years of adolescence,

having interpersonal communication knowledge introduced and refined in their minds will give

them the confidence and professionalism that they need. These teens will be better prepared to

express themselves in the relationships they form to solve issues and build stronger bonds with

peers and loved ones as well as connections with coworkers and leaders.
Being able to communicate in a more effective way will allow them to build stronger marriages

with loved ones as they are able to settle disagreements in a healthy way. Stronger bonds will be

built with friends and peers in a time where young adults need those connections as they go

through a stressful time in their lives. Interpersonal communication skills will also benefit

students as they learn to prepare to join the work force. It will help to strengthen equality and

help them reach their goals as well as promotions. Teaching high school students communication

skills will better prepare themselves for the rest of their lives throughout the different paths they

take.

Antony, M. G., & Sheldon, P. (2019). “Is the friendship worth keeping:” Gender differences in

communicating forgiveness in friendships. Communication Quarterly, 67(3), 291–311. doi:

10.1080/01463373.2019.1573746
Dekay, S. H. (2012). Interpersonal Communication in the Workplace. Business Communication

Quarterly, 75(4), 449–452. doi: 10.1177/1080569912458966

Jarnecke, A. M., Reilly, M. S., & South, S. C. (2015). Internalizing and Externalizing Symptoms

and Marital Relationship Functioning: The Mediating Role of Demand-Withdraw

Communication Processes. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 42(3), 509–524. doi:

10.1111/jmft.12153

KÜÇÜKBEZİRCİ, Y. (2013). The Importance of Pragmatics in Interpersonal Communication.

Selçuk Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü Dergisi, 29, 137–142. Retrieved from

eds.a.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.uvu.edu/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=3&sid=1bf74dcf-6c97-44d5

-9818-1436706b9e5a@sessionmgr4008

Laurenceau, J.-P., Barrett, L. F., & Rovine, M. J. (2005). The Interpersonal Process Model of

Intimacy in Marriage: A Daily-Diary and Multilevel Modeling Approach. Journal of Family

Psychology, 19(2), 314–323. doi: 10.1037/0893-3200.19.2.314

Petersen, E. J. (2018). The “Reasonably Bright Girls”: Accessing Agency in the Technical

Communication Workplace through Interactional Power. Technical Communication Quarterly,

28(1), 21–38. doi: 10.1080/10572252.2018.1540724