Courtney Maestas

Denise Landes
FHS 2400
30 September, 2019

If I were to be approached by an 18-year-old pregnant female seeking my advice on if she should

marry her baby's father, I would advise her not to. Although 18 is the age your now considered to
be an adult, your still so young. Most people at this age have not had too much experience with
adult situations and challenges. Being only 18-years old, you still have a lot of growing up to do.
Having a child is going to change your life in many different aspects. Being pregnant young will
force you to grow up a little faster than others your age are going to have to.

Two people should only consider marriage if they’re completely in love. I do believe that two
people can be in love at the age of 18. However, it's not likely. As I mentioned earlier, at this age
you still have an enormous amount to learn and to grow. Therefore, what your idea of love,
needs, and wants in a partner is very likely going to change as you grow and change.

If marriage is right for the two of you, the right time will come naturally, it should not be forced
due to the birth of a child. If you force a marriage, I personally feel you’d have a lot higher
opportunity for the marriage to fail. You should want to create a healthy and stable marriage that
is going to be everlasting, “When you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate first and
foremost.” (Strong & Cohen, 2017 p.299)

Above all else, waiting to marry your partner does not mean you love each other any less. Your
title is ultimately what changes. You can still raise a child as a traditional family would by living
together, finances, and raising the child does not require marriage.

Let's take a look at this from a different perspective, if an 18-year-old male asked my advice on
marrying the female he got pregnant, I would advise him the exact same thing I would advise
her. You should wait to get married, it's a very serious commitment and it could have potentially
have very serious consequences in the long run. At only 18 years of age, I don't feel most people
should be making such serious decisions, as they have many years to truly understand what it is
they want out of a marriage, and when their ready for it, what’s the rush?

Furthermore, let's say both soon to be parents are 25-years-old. This changes my opinion
slightly, but I still ultimately feel the same. In general, most 25-year olds are a little more mature
compared to the newly graduated high school 18-year-old. They’ve had time to find themselves
and typically have begun to think about these commitments such as marriage and children, so I
do feel that at the age of 25 you’d be more ready to make a commitment to marriage. However, I
still do not believe that you should be getting married solely for the reason of someone getting
pregnant. If this was not something that you strongly considered with your partner before the
pregnancy, it is not something you should consider after finding out.

Overall, marriage is something special that should be shared by two people when both partners
are ready. Not being married and having a child does not mean the two of you will be any less of
parents. If anything, it shows the extreme level of responsibility - this shows that the two of you
recognize that during the present time, this isn't something you're ready for but you will be able
to take that step when you become ready.

References:

Strong, Bryan, and Theodore F. Cohen. The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate
…..Relationships in a Changing Society. Cengage Learning, 2017.