30 Ways to

Mindfulness
Copyright Rachael Roberts 2019

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Develop your inner resources
Introduction
There’s a lot of talk these days about mindfulness, but there isn’t
always a whole lot of clarity about what exactly it means, or how
someone who’s new to mindfulness can start to integrate it into their
life.

Perhaps the first thing to say is that mindfulness is something that we

can all already do- we just need to nourish that ability, and strengthen
the ‘muscle’. Mindfulness is simply being fully aware of what we are
doing or where we are, rather than being so caught up in thinking
about the past and future, that we’re almost sleepwalking through our
lives.

When we are mindful we are better able to deal with stress and
pressure, or whatever happens to us during the day, without over-
reacting or feeling overwhelmed.

We can encourage and develop this mindful awareness through some

simple exercises. Try a new exercise or task every day for thirty days
and you’ll start to see some real changes in your life.
Contents
Day One: Start the day right
Day Two: Connect with nature
Day Three: Do a chore mindfully
Day Four: The ABC method
Day Five: Laughter
Day Six: Screen time
Day Seven: Alien Encounter
Day Eight: Using breath to settle the mind
Day Nine: Starting to become aware of your emotions
Day Ten: Slow down
Day Eleven: Be grateful
Day Twelve: Developing focused attention
Day Thirteen: Mindfulness Triggers
Day Fourteen: Journal
Day Fifteen: Really listen to someone
Day Sixteen: Notice your inner critic
Day Seventeen: Develop loving kindness
Day Eighteen: Say no when you need to
Day Nineteen: Watch TV mindfully
Day Twenty: Declutter
Day Twenty-One: Eat mindfully
Day Twenty-Two: Body scan
Day Twenty-Three: Dealing with increased irritation or anxiety
Day Twenty-Four: See things from a different perspective
Day Twenty-Five: Five senses
Day Twenty-Six : Try a guided meditation
Day Twenty-Seven: Don’t make comparisons
Day Twenty-Eight: Focus mindfully on your work
Day Twenty-Nine: Exercise mindfully
Day Thirty: Pay it forward
Day One
Start the day right

A recent survey showed that around half of all Americans check their
phone as soon as they open their eyes, and the percentage is higher
still for millennials.
The problem with starting the day this way is that you are priming the
reactive part of your brain to start the day feeling stressed and anxious
about all the things you’ve got to do that day, or, if you start with the
news, about all the terrible things happening in the world.
Instead of reaching for your phone, try just focusing on your breathing
for a couple of minutes. If you don’t want to risk falling asleep again,
then do this sitting up in bed.
Then think about, or write down, your intentions for the day. This isn’t
the same as a to-do list, but is more about how you want to feel. So
you might set an intention not to rush about, or to try to see the funny
side.
During the day, try and check back in on your intention at regular
intervals. Don’t worry if you’ve forgotten all about it, and been rushing
about like a headless chicken, just re-start the intention whenever you
remember.
Day Two
Connect with nature

The Japanese have a practice they call ‘shrinyin yoku’, or forest

bathing. According to research*, spending two hours walking in a
forest can lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, reduce blood
pressure and even stimulate your immune system. It seems that, as
well as the benefits of getting some fresh air and exercise, trees also
give out a chemical which helps the immune system to fight off
invaders.
So, if you can, try and connect with nature by walking amongst trees.
However, any contact with nature, where we try to be really mindful
and notice everything around us, is extremely beneficial in reducing
stress. That is, so long as you don’t walk along looking at your phone
(you’ll also be at risk of falling over a tree stump).
As you walk in nature, try to be aware of the feel of the ground
beneath your feet. Many of us spend most of our time up in our head,
so bringing awareness to the ground can really help you to escape
from your thoughts for a while. Stop and really look at what’s around
you. Look at the textures of the trees and plants, smell the roses
(literally), listen to the sound of the breeze.

*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2793341/
Day Three
Do a chore mindfully

We all have lots of daily tasks that we have to do, such as washing the
dishes, cleaning our teeth or making the bed. We don’t have to think
too hard about what we’re doing as we’ve done it a million times
before, and so our minds scoot off to what we have to do later that
day, or what an annoying co-worker said to us the day before.
We can also find ourselves rushing through these tasks, aware of
everything else we have to accomplish that day, or feeling resentful
about having to do the task.
In fact, chores like these can be an excellent opportunity to develop
mindfulness, as well as a calm acceptance of those things we cannot
change.
In his book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh says, ‘There
are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in
order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes in
order to wash the dishes.’
Washing the dishes in order to wash the dishes means fully focusing
on the task in a mindful way. Feel the temperature of the water on
your hands, notice the iridescent bubbles created by the washing up
liquid, the smell of the soap and how each item you wash feels in your
hands. There’s even a scientific study which showed this reduced
stress.*
*https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/10/151001165852.htm
Day Four
The ABC method

The ABC method is a nifty little acronym to help you deal with setbacks
or irritations in a more mindful way.
A is for awareness. This is probably the key concept to understand
about mindfulness. It isn’t about floating off on a cloud of bliss so
much as being more fully awake or aware.
As soon as you become aware that you aren’t feeling good for
whatever reason- stress, irritation, worry- try to step back and observe
what’s happening within yourself. What thoughts are going through
your mind? What physical sensations are you feeling? Don’t judge
yourself for any of this, just notice it.
B is for breathing. Notice what’s happening with your breathing. Are
you breathing rapidly, or even holding your breath? Just notice for a
minute or two what your breath is doing without trying to change it.
Then take a deep breath and let it go.
C is for choosing. Remember that you can always choose how you
react to whatever is happening. Use your focus on awareness and
breathing to put everything on pause for a moment so that you can
make the right choice. And proceed with compassion (another C) for
anyone else involved, and , of course, for yourself.
Day Five
Laughter

It’s a frequently cited urban myth that children laugh 400 times a day
while adults only laugh 15-20 times in the same period. For it to be
true, children would have to be laughing almost every minute of the
day.
However, it’s certainly the case that most children laugh a lot more
than most adults. We’re too busy worrying about stuff, listening to the
news, watching ‘dark’ TV series or working.
But there is plenty of evidence that laughing reduces the level of stress
hormones in our bodies and increases hormones which make us feel
good, such as dopamine. There’s even some evidence that it improves
our immune system.
So why not try and make some more mindful choices about what you
choose to do today and choose activities which will make you laugh,
or at least smile, rather than worry or upset you?
Watch a comedy instead of a horror film, or read a funny book or
article.
There’s even some evidence that putting your face into a smile can
actually make you feel happier because the muscle movement triggers
a burst of ‘feel good’ chemicals called endorphins.
Day Six
Screen time

Technology nowadays is designed to encourage us to keep looking at

our screens. Notifications beep and flash, messages and emails arrive
constantly. The human mind is chaotic enough already, and this
definitely makes things worse.
But, perhaps the biggest problem in terms of cultivating mindfulness
is that so much of our screen time tends to be completely mindless.
We can ‘lose’ hours scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, almost
in a zombie state.
To be mindful, we need to spend more of our life being conscious, not
unconscious. Spend a day just noticing when you have the urge to
check your phone, and if it isn’t really necessary resist it. And turn off
all but essential notifications.
Try going out for a walk without taking your phone. If you feel
resistance at the very idea, ask yourself why. Is it really that likely that
you’ll need it? Take the opportunity to really notice everything around
you instead.
Consciously try to experience everything that happens today without
recording it, or posting it on social media. Try to really be present with
the people you’re spending time with rather than connecting with
others online.
Day Seven
Alien encounter

It’s thought that one of the reasons people enjoy travelling is that we
see everything through fresh eyes. Everything is a little bit different
and we notice much more than we ever would at home.
Because everything around us is so familiar our mind tends to take
short cuts. This is why it’s possible to arrive at work with no real
recollection of the journey you made to get there.
We also create shortcuts by using handy labels. For example, we see
a tree, think ‘tree’, and instantly dismiss it without ever taking to time
to look at what a truly amazing thing a tree actually is.
So, just for a day try to see everything as if you were an alien who has
just landed on our planet. Look at the objects around you as if you’d
never seen them before. What do you notice? Listen to what people
have to say without filtering it through your usual assumptions and
judgements about that person.
This practice is known as ‘beginner’s mind’, and is a key part of
becoming more mindful. You won’t manage to do it all the time, but
whenever you can, step back and look at your life as if you were an
alien.
Day Eight
Using breath to settle the mind

We often aren’t conscious of the mind skipping about until we try and
sit quietly and become aware of our ‘monkey mind’ skipping around.
At this point people sometimes give up any attempt to meditate, but
the point isn’t to make the mind blank, and if you try you’re setting
yourself up to fail. It’s much more important to just notice the chatter.
Just observe it and let it pass by, like clouds scudding across the sky.
That said, if you’re really struggling with a busy mind, feel anxious or
if you can’t switch off enough to fall asleep at night, a conscious
breathing exercise can often help. A good one to try is alternate nostril
breathing:
1 Either sit up straight or lie down. Put the first and middle fingers of
your right hand between your eyebrows. They should rest there lightly
throughout.
2 Use your thumb to close your right nostril. Breathe in slowly through
your left nostril. You could start with a count of four. At the top, use
your ring finger to close your left nostril, so both nostrils are closed
and hold your breath for another count of four.
3 Open your right nostril and release the breath slowly through the
right nostril, again to a count of four. Pause at the end, then breathe
in through the right nostril again.
4 At the top of the breath close both nostrils again and hold your
breath, then release the breath through the left nostril. Repeat the
cycle four times (or more as you get more used to it).
Day Nine
Starting to become aware of your emotions

Emotions such as happiness, anger, anxiety are chemical signals that

tell you, for example, that you should keep doing what you’re doing,
or that you are in danger.
They aren’t always completely reliable, because we can feel fear about
something that is actually in our best interests, such as going to the
dentist, or feel joy at the prospect of eating a kilo of chocolate.
However, it’s important to be aware of what we’re feeling, so we can
make a good decision, rather than being subconsciously led by
emotions that we’ve packed down so deeply that we don’t even
realise they are there.
It’s very natural to want to suppress and deny negative emotions
because they don’t feel great. However, once we see them for what
they are- a kind of car alarm that can go off when there actually isn’t
a problem at all- they actually have a lot less power over us.
Practice identifying your emotions by tuning into the physical
sensations they produce. Sit quietly and try and notice what’s
happening in your body. Can you feel any tension anywhere? Don’t try
and release it, just notice it. Is there a sensation of heat anywhere?
Can you feel any fluttering in your throat or stomach? Accept any
feelings that arise, including tears, and just accept them. Don’t try and
analyse them. Be gentle with yourself. Just notice them and let them
pass when they’re ready to pass.
Day Ten
Slow down

Are you the kind of person who rushes around, getting a million and
one things done? Are you often late because you are trying to do just
one more little job before you leave? Do you pride yourself on your
ability to multi-task?
Just for today try and see what if feels like when you slow down.
Maybe you’ll get less done, but you might actually surprise yourself at
how efficient going just a little more slowly can be. And you’ll certainly
feel better.
Allow yourself some ‘cushion time’. Instead of leaving for an
appointment with exactly enough time to get there (or a little less than
you really need), allow yourself an extra 5-10 minutes. The difference
this can make to your stress levels is huge. if you get there early, don’t
start checking emails on your phone, just sit for five minutes and
notice what’s around you, or tune into what’s happening in your body.
Do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking has been shown to actually be
less efficient than you might think.
Don’t forget to breathe (or you’ll die). Seriously, stop and take a few
deep breaths whenever you feel that your life is speeding up again.
If you’re still worried that you don’t have time to slow down, then
sacrifice a little bit of time flicking through social media or anything
else that eats up your time.
Day Eleven
Be grateful

Gratitude has been shown to have a number of benefits, as well as

making you a nice person to be around. It can apparently improve your
physical health as well as your mental health, help you sleep better,
reduce anger and aggression and make you more resilient.
An easy way to bring more gratitude into your life is to keep a
gratitude journal. Every day, just write down three things you are
grateful for.
They key to this practice, however, is that you have to be specific. If
you just keep writing something like, ‘I’m grateful I enjoy my job’ it will
soon cease to have any real meaning, or impact. Instead try to find
something specific that happened that day to write about. For
example, ‘I’m grateful my boss recognised the hard work I’d been
putting in and said something to me about it.’
You don’t have to write pages and pages, just a few lines will do, and
you’ll be more likely to keep it up. It can also help to have a ‘gratitude
buddy’, someone who you email from time to time and ask them what
they’ve been grateful for recently.
Another method is to keep a gratitude jar where you write something
on a piece of paper everyday (or as often as possible) and put the slips
of paper into a jar. At the end of the year, you can take out the slips
and read them. You’ll see just what a great year you had and how
much you really have to be grateful for.
Day Twelve
Developing focused attention

Here’s a simple activity you can do anywhere at any time when you
want to bring more mindfulness into your day.
Sit in a relaxed position and hold up your hand, so you can look at your
palm. Gaze into your palm. Notice the details of your skin, are
different areas diffferent colours?
Look at the lines and patterns, then follow the lines up each of your
fingers one at a time.
Starting at the wrist on your thumb side, trace around each finger one
at a time. Notice the line your hand creates against the background. If
any thoughts come in just acknowledge them and go back to studying
your hand.
Look at the deep lines in your palm. Notice the shapes of the areas
between the deep lines. Can you see triangles, rectangles?
Now bring your fingers together as if you were grasping something
between your fingers. Look at your palm again and notice the changes.
Open out your palm again then stretch your fingers and thumb right
back, so your hand is as open as possible. What changes do you notice
in your palm?
Relax your hand and notice the colour change again.
Turn your hand sideways. Look at the difference between the skin on
your palm and on the back of your hand. If any judgements come up,
notice them and then let them go.
Day Thirteen
Mindfulness triggers

What do you usually do when you hear your phone ring? Do you rush
to answer it? Does it immediately trigger some anxiety?
What about if every time you heard the phone ring, you learnt to
associate it with taking a deep breath and switching on the
‘mindfulness’ button? With practice you can learn to associate the
sound with being calm and peaceful. You’ll also have better phone
conversations.
You can set up a number of mindfulness triggers in this way. Think
about certain transition points during the day where you could benefit
from a reminder to be mindful. For example, when your alarm goes
off in the morning, or you get out of your car at work, or you walk
through the door of your work place. Think about what might work for
you and practise becoming consciously mindful at those points of the
day.
With practice you will develop new connections in your brain, and the
triggers will also remind you to stop and step back. It’s like smokers
associating a cigarette with a cup of coffee, only good for you.
Day Fourteen
Journal

Mindfulness is all about developing greater awareness of what is going

on both inside your busy mind, and in the world around you.
Taking the time to stop and write down either what you notice around
you, or your inner processing, can be an excellent way to develop the
ability to simply step back and observe.
There are lots of different ways you can use a daily journal practice:
Rather than starting your day by checking your messages and emails,
you could start by writing down a few goals and intentions for the day
ahead.
You could also write in it again towards the end of the day and check
in on how the day unfolded. Take the opportunity to reflect on what
thoughts and feelings arose during the day, those moments when you
felt you were particularly mindful (or not), and any recurring themes
you notice. As you write, continue to be mindful, and notice any
impulses to judge yourself or anyone else.
If writing at some length is not something you enjoy, you could simply
note down three moments during the day when you catch yourself
being mindful. The observer’s paradox means that you are then that
much more likely to remember to step into mindfulness.
Or you could commit to writing in your mindfulness journal once a
week rather than every day. The important thing is to take it seriously
and do it regularly.
Day Fifteen
Really listen to someone

A lot of the time when we are listening to someone talk, our mind is
only partly present. We may be distracted by external noise, or
thinking about how something similar once happened to us, or
planning what we’re going to say next, or even thinking about
something completely different!
It can be surprisingly difficult to give someone our full attention. Next
time you have a conversation, start by just noticing every time your
focus drifts. Don’t give yourself a hard time about it, but just come
back to really listening to what they have to say.
Then notice all the little judgements that pop up. To judge is human,
and if you try to suppress it, it won’t go away, it will just go
underground. So, just notice the urge to judge, and don’t attach to it.
Let the person know that you are listening by checking that you have
understood. Try re-phrasing what they’ve said. You can use phrases
such as, ‘It sounds like you…, is that right?’
Ask questions. Be careful not to turn into a police interrogator though.
Try saying something like, ‘Tell me more about..’ rather than ‘So, why
did you do that?’
Resist the urge to jump in with suggestions and solutions. If they ask
you for your advice, that’s fine, but don’t assume they want or need
it. Often all people need is to feel that someone has really listened to
them.
Day Sixteen
Notice your inner critic

You look awful in those trousers!

Typical! You always mess things up.
They probably think you didn’t deserve to get this job.

These are the kind of things that most of us would never to say to
anyone we love, but that we’re quite happy to say to ourselves.
The ‘inner critic’ is a term used to describe that inner voice which we
use to criticise ourselves, often very harshly.
Take time today to notice whether these kinds of thoughts pop up. if
they don’t, congratulations! If they do, you are very much not alone.
Don’t try to suppress the inner critic. It will only make him/her try all
the harder. Try these three top tips instead:

1 Remember that the inner critic is not actually ‘you’. At some point
you took on these judgments from others in our past and made them
your own. Disown them now.
2 Don’t take it seriously. Just inwardly roll your eyes. ‘You again?’ ‘Who
cares what you think?’
3 Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen even if the inner critic
is correct. So what if you do look fat in those trousers? What will really
happen as a result?
Day Seventeen
Develop loving kindness

This is a classic Buddhist meditation, but it works just as well in a non

religious context.

Sit quietly and comfortably, close your eyes and take a few deep
breaths and release them.
Now imagine that you are breathing in peace and love, and breathing
our stress, tension or any negative feelings.
When you feel ready, start to repeat internally:
May I be well
May I be happy
May I be safe and protected
May I live in peace and joy

Try to feel your heart opening and expanding. You may notice the
inner critic trying to get involved. Just send it love too.

Then carry out the same process for:

- someone you love.
- someone you feel neutral about.
- someone you find difficult.
Day Eighteen
Say no when you need to

Many of us were brought up to believe that being a good person

means always putting ourselves last. If someone needs help, we
should always give it, regardless of our own needs.
The problem with this approach is that we can end up burnt out and
resentful. Ultimately this means we are unable to help anyone
anyway.
So, it’s important to be able to say ‘no’ when we need to without
feeling guilty.
How do we know when we need to say ‘no’?
Become mindful of how the request makes you feel, physically. Do you
feel anxiety at the thought of taking on even more? Can you detect an
underlying anger at being taken advantage of? If so, you need to stop
and really consider whether it is in everyone’s best interests for you
to do this thing.
Try to get into the habit of asking for a little time to think before you
agree to do anything big. You can use the time to really explore how
you feel about it, and the pros and cons. And if you find it difficult to
say no, this will allow you to build up your courage.
Sometimes it will be necessary for you to do something you really
would rather not do. That’s OK, so long as you have really considered
it and taken the decision from the right place, rather than
automatically agreeing and then regretting it.
Day Nineteen
Watch TV mindfully

Watching TV is often characterised as a ‘mindless’ activity. Indeed we

are often pretty unconscious while watching a film or box set. We may
watch something just because it’s ‘on’, or because we always watch it.
We also often eat mindlessly in front of the TV.
The choice of what we watch may also be ‘mindless’. Watching the
news, or a crime series may leave us feeling agitated and disturbed,
without really being aware of what has caused it.
However, it is perfectly possible to watch TV in a mindful way. Firstly,
by being mindful about what we watch and actively choosing to watch
something, rather than just sitting in front of something for the sake
of it.
Secondly, by being aware of the feeling and thoughts that are arising
as we watch. If you become aware that the programme is making you
feel anxious or fearful, then ask yourself why you are choosing to
watch it.
Thirdly, be aware of your body as you watch. Are you sitting in a
comfortable and relaxed position? What about your breathing? Are
you breathing shallowly or holding your breath?
Try watching TV mindfully today and see how the experience is
different from what you normally do.
Day Twenty
Declutter

A few years ago a friend recommended a book by Marie Kondo, The

Life-Changing Magic of Tidying. My inner critic got right to work and
assumed they were criticising the state of my house. Who knows,
maybe they were? It doesn’t matter because actually what Marie
Kondo has to say was pretty life-changing.
I recommend you read the book too, or maybe watch the Netflix
series, but essentially it’s all about mindfulness. Kondo suggests that
you go through your possessions, one category at a time, hold them
and decide if they ‘spark joy’ in your heart. If not, get rid of them.
It sounds a bit extreme, and it probably is for most of us, but the
principle is exactly right. We need to be mindful about what we
choose to surround ourselves with and about the impact a crowded,
untidy and even dirty environment is having on us.
The more ‘stuff’ we have, the more of our thoughts, energy and time
it takes. We spend precious effort in moving things around, looking for
lost items, and cleaning around piles of possessions.
You may choose to keep a lot of your stuff, but give yourself the
chance to at least consciously make those choices.
Day Twenty-One
Eat mindfully

I could write a book on this one, and probably will one day, but in the
meantime, here are a few things to try today.
For many of us food is something we are particularly unconscious
around. We somehow find ourselves standing in front of an open
fridge, or realise that we just ate the whole packet of biscuits. None of
this is anything to feel guilty about, but you can’t hope to change your
eating habits if you’re basically sleepwalking through them.
Start by learning to recognise your hunger signals. Don’t eat until you
actually feel hungry. That doesn’t mean waiting until you’re starving
when judgement goes completely out of the window, but just
becoming more mindful of the signals your body is sending you.
Try to make choices about what you will eat in advance. It’s easier to
make good choices when you aren’t hungry, or distracted by work, or
feeling stressed.
Don’t multi-task while you’re eating. You can’t possibly be mindful
about your food if you’re mind is elsewhere, watching TV or, worse
still, typing at your desk between mouthfuls. Don’t rush your food,
savour it. Be mindful of the taste, the texture. Enjoy it. Be grateful for
it.
After you’ve eaten never, ever, feel guilty about what you’ve eaten.
This just sets you up to become even more unconscious about food to
avoid the guilt pangs. Just eat something healthier next mealtime to
balance it out.
Day Twenty-Two
Body scan
Many of us spend most of our time in our heads. We are very aware
of our thoughts, and the body feels like something separate from our
selves. However, the body also has a great deal to tell us that we
sometimes ignore, or are completely unaware of.
A body scan meditation is a way of getting in touch with these signals
from the body.
Sit or lie down and close your eyes. Take in and let go of a few deep
breaths to release tension, then breathe normally. Focus your
attention on feeling the breath, without trying to control it.
Start by feeling the weight of your body in the chair or on the floor or
bed. Then bring your awareness to your feet. What sensations can you
feel? Is there any tingling, or tightness? Is there any sense of heat or
coldness?
Gradually move your attention up your body, spending a minute or
two in each place. If you become aware of any tension, don’t
consciously try to release the tension, just breathe and notice
whatever it is you are feeling.
If your mind drifts off and you find yourself mentally composing a
shopping list, don’t worry, just go back to the last place on your body
that you remember being aware of.
When you have reached the top of your head, try to imagine that you
are breathing in through your feet and out through the top of your
head, or vice versa, like a waterfall. Don’t rush to get up afterwards,
take it easy.
Day Twenty-Three
Dealing with increased irritation or anxiety
Sometimes people who have begun a mindfulness practice find that
they are actually getting more anxious or irritated. ‘Surely mindfulness
is supposed to make you feel better’, they think before giving up.
Actually, no, it won’t necessarily make you feel better in the
beginning, and feeling worse could be a good sign. If you have been
suppressing negative feelings for years, and are now allowing some of
them to come to the surface, it could definitely feel uncomfortable.
The first thing to remember is that you are allowing these feelings to
surface, no-one is making you feel that way, and that they’re just
feelings. Instead of worrying about feeling anxious or annoyed, just try
and notice these feelings in a bit more detail, like a curious scientist.
Use the body scan meditation to identify where you are feeling these
emotions, and what they feel like. Listen to the negative voice in your
head and what it’s saying, without identifying with it. It’s just an old
record you’re playing.
Pause before you act on these sensations or on what the voice is
saying, and recognise that you don’t have to do what you would
normally do- snap at someone, or tell yourself off, or reach for a bar
of chocolate.
In time you may become aware of something deeper that these
feelings are trying to tell you. For example, that part of you believes
that you have to do everything perfectly or people will realise that you
don’t really know what you’re doing. Once you are aware of these
beliefs, you can start to challenge them and eventually let them go.
Day Twenty-Four
See things from a different perspective
Anais Nin once wrote ‘we don’t see things as they are, we see things
as we are.’
Our minds are constantly interpreting and trying to make sense of
what we see and experience, and everyone is filtering the world
through their own specific belief systems.
I used to live in Brazil, and eventually I learned that when my Brazilian
friends arranged to meet at 8pm, they really meant 9pm or even quite
a bit later. It was just a different perspective on time. But initially I
interpreted it as rudeness, or not really wanting to meet up with me,
or any number of other things.
If we insist on only seeing things through our own narrow filter, we
will spend a lot of time feeling annoyed or hurt or rejected for
absolutely no reason at all.
Mindfulness is about stepping back from those learnt ways of
interpreting the world into a kind of meta-perspective.
Just take a breath and a few moments to imagine how someone else
might be feeling or thinking in a particular situation. Of course, you
can’t really know what anyone else is thinking or feeling, but if you
consider a few possibilities it can really help to diffuse your own
reactions and to understand that there is never just one way of looking
at a situation.
Day Twenty-Five
Five senses
A great deal of anxiety comes from not being present in the moment.
Instead our thoughts are racing forward to all the things we have to
do or that might or might not happen, or worrying about things we did
or didn’t do in the past.
Firmly centering yourself in the present moment is pretty much always
helpful and the Five Senses exercise is a good technique to try to help
you do just that.
Start by looking around yourself and identifying five things that you
can see. Your mind will try and attach stories to those things- e.g.
‘there’s that letter I forgot to post’ but just notice the stories arising
and move onto noticing the next thing you can see.
Next identify four things you can hear. This may take a little longer,
depending where you are, just wait until you have four.
Then identify three things you can feel, such as the texture of the desk
your hands are resting on, or the thumping of your heart. Try not to
attach any stories or judgements, just count three things.
Next find two things you can smell. This might be a cup of coffee on
your desk, a breeze from the window.
And finally one thing you can taste, maybe just the taste of the cheese
and onion crisps you had for lunch that lingers in your mouth ;)
Take time to notice how you feel after doing this. More present and
more in your body?
Day Twenty-Six
Try a guided meditation
Meditation and mindfulness are not the same thing, but meditation is
an excellent way of strengthening the connections within the brain
that help you to develop that mindfulness ‘muscle’.
Simply sitting quietly and noticing, but not attaching to, the thoughts
in your head is the basic idea behind meditation, but this can be
difficult to achieve at first. A guided meditation can help you stay
focused and gently bring you back to the meditation when your
thoughts take you away.
There are lots of good guided meditations available, free and paid, but
a particular favourite site of mine is www.meditationoasis.com. They
offer a huge range of different guided meditations through a free
podcast or through free or paid for (but very reasonable) apps. I
particularly rate Deep Rest Meditation and Emotional Ease, but
they’re all good.
There is an argument that you can develop mindfulness more quickly
using silent meditation, because you have to work a little harder, but
ultimately what matters is that you meditate, so do whatever helps to
keep you practising.
Day Twenty-Seven
Don’t make comparisons
‘Comparisons are odious’ goes the saying. Some say that the relative
ease of comparing our looks, lives and possessions with those our
friends and acquaintances are showing off on social media is a key
reason for the seemingly dramatic rise in mental health issues.
If you decide that what you are or have is better than someone else,
you may feel temporarily better, but perhaps only at the cost of
making someone else feel worse.
Plus, it won’t be long before your inner critic finds something where
you feel lacking in comparison to someone else, so it’s much better to
try and get out of the odious habit altogether.
Today, try and notice what triggers that feeling of comparison. Is it
scrolling through social media, or noticing how perfectly turned out all
the other mums on the school drop off are? Identify some triggers and
try and notice the thoughts going through your head. Don’t jump to
judge those thoughts, just notice them.
Then ask yourself if those beliefs are actually true. Do you have any
evidence that they are true? How would your life be if you didn’t listen
to or believe these thoughts? And let them go.
Over time, you’ll create new neural pathways in the brain and these
thoughts will either not pop up at all, or be far less troublesome. But
it all starts with just noticing.
Day Twenty-Eight
Focus mindfully on your work
How often have you finished work for the day, felt exhausted, but
also with a sense that you’ve actually achieved very little?
Particularly if you work in an office, there’s an expectation these
days that you will be switched on and focused all the time, even
through your lunch break in some cases.
However, it actually isn’t possible to be fully focused all the time, and
if you try, you’ll just end up burning out.
Instead, try being either fully focused or having a break. One
technique you could try is the pomodoro technique, named after
those tomato-shaped kitchen timers. The idea is that you focus for
25 minutes, no distractions, such as checking your email for example.
Then you take a five minute break. You could make a cup of coffee,
go to the loo or check your email if you really want to. After four 25
minute sections, take a longer break of, say, 15 minutes.
Once you start to really focus in this way, even for just 25 minutes,
you will become aware of just how distracted you usually are.
Day Twenty-Nine
Exercise mindfully
Most of us dwell far more in our heads than in our bodies. One way
of connecting both with your body and with the world around you is
exercise.
Any form of exercise can be mindful, but walking is a particularly
good way of developing more mindfulness, as well as being very easy
to fit into your day.
To develop mindfulness while walking, start by paying attention to
the feel of the ground under your feet. Feel yourself connecting with
the earth. Notice how the surface you’re walking on feels.
Consciously become more aware of your surroundings. What can you
see, hear or feel? Notice the sunshine or the breeze on your face.
Then focus on the sensation of walking, lifting your legs, and placing
them down. Try to walk in a smooth rhythm, slightly slower than you
might naturally walk. Keep your breathing relaxed and even. If it
helps you to concentrate you could count your steps.
Remember to keep an awareness of what is around you as well,
especially other people!
Day Thirty
Pay it forward

The idea of paying it forward is that, rather than paying someone

back for a kindness, we pay it forward by helping someone else. In
this way, the kindness gets passed further.
Paying it forward is a kind of mindfulness practice because it requires
us to be aware of any opportunities to do someone a kindness.
Some simple ways of paying it forward that you might do today:
- let someone out of a side road when you are driving (if you can
do so safely)
- pick up a piece of litter
- leave a bigger tip than you normally would
- ask the cashier at the checkout about their day
- leave some extra money in the parking meter
- offer someone your seat on the bus
- compliment someone
- write a positive review of a restaurant or other business
- tell someone how they can get a free copy of this e-book too!
About me

I first started getting into mindfulness over a decade ago, as a direct

result of burning out and having to take time off work.
I realised that my ways of dealing with stress (mainly ignoring it and
eating chocolate) were not exactly working for me.
I had previously trained as a counsellor and psychotherapist, but I
started to actually put some of what I knew into action to help
myself, and in time, started to help other people too. I also trained as
a coach, broadening my understanding of the field further. Now I
combine my work within education with working as a coach and
personal development trainer.
If you think you might like to work with me as a coach, or as a
trainer, you can contact me through:

www.life-resourceful.com