Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

no.
nobody knows your choices,interests and capabilities better than you yourself,not even your
parents.
that's why you should be the one deciding your future/career.
of course taking suggestions is never harmful,they can always give you ideas and put up their
views but ultimately you should be the one deciding.
But if you are going against your parent's wishes,then prove them wrong when they say you cant
succeed in that field.once you have taken up something,then show them that your pick was never
wrong!Be ready and work hard to prove yourself right only then its worth it!!

in my opinion parents have some role to play in future of the child.Rather than children taking a
decision on their on .....its better if they discus with their parents.
though we say there is generation gap in thinking ... but at times we need to accept that they have
seen the world more than their children.instead of going against their will and wish... its better if u
convince them as to y you wanna take that decision.so that they will also b satisfied n happy.
after all they r our parents, they'll also have some dreams for us right?????

Should they decide? No, because they're not the ones who are spending the next 20, 30 or 40
years doing the job.
Should they have input? Definitely. 3 reasons. 1 - Life experience. 2 - We often know our children
as well as, if not better than, they know themselves. 3 - If we're paying for the education then
please don't ask us to pay for one where there's really no future or expect us to spend 75k on
education that leads to a 20k a year job. Most of us just can't afford it.
Add: And I'm with Love Muscle on the pro athlete thing. My boys are going to be hockey players
so the above really only applies to girls...lol....unless she wants to play in the LPGA.

My ex and I decided that our son would grow up and be an Entomologist, we based this on his
new born personality, he was a curious baby. My ex and I never actually told him about our
prediction because we saw it as more of a prediction then anything else. Today he is 6 and if you
ask him what he wants to be he will tell you "A Gynecologist, because I want to make sure
uteruses are healthy." Yah he's an odd ball. He will also go on to say "or something involving
bugs" so I guess there is still hope for our prediction. (i.e. an entomologist is bug scientist)

No they should not..that wouldn't make the child an individual they would be whatever mom or
dad wanted them to be..everyone should choose to do what they would love to do and be happy
with not what someone else is trying to force them to be..Now yes I want my kids make something
of themselves and be successful..but I will not force them to be something they don't want to be..

There's no way my parents would have come up with Naval Architect for me if they would have
brainstormed for 30 years. But I love it. It's an awesome job. Besides, I'm the one who has to do it
for the rest of my life, not my parents.

no, stay out of their way, and simply give them your love and moral support, by that time in their
life they need to start making their own mind up on matters and live with their decisions, a rough
world out there, you need to think for yourself

k no way because people shoudl love there job wat to wake every moring other wise ulll have a
teacher who cant teach bec they dont enjoy it and ure child would suffer or a doc who cares less
bec he wats to be a lawyer no way evryone works acording to personality and i feel they must
choose

no no no. a child is an individual and they must learn to choose on their own. what a parent may
like, they may not like. let them learn to mature and become an adult by making their own
decisions.

Would YOU want your Parents choosing your future Spouse? Then WHY would you want your
Parents to choose your Future Career ??! It's YOUR LIFE, & YOUR Choices... You didn't choose
your Parent's. So THEY shouldn't be able to choose YOURS... !
 The generation gap, the problem of parents and children is the one of most serious problems
in the world. Parents give life to their children; they give them an education and up-bringing,
take care about them. Why anyway children always have antagonistic with their parents? I
think that it is two-side problem. Parents are used to seeing in their children obtuse babies,
they always used to solve all problems their children had when they were in tender age. And
when children are coming to teen-age, it is quite difficult to their parents to realize and accept
that their children have their own opinions and looks. Yesterday kids believed every word of
their parents, applied for help, strongly convinced that their parents could manage with any
ptoblem which in the world exists. But today their babies suddenly began to quarrel with
adults, go out from control and refuse to obey. Of course, it does not happen at once, but
anyway parents sometimes are not ready for this change and they can not admit that their
child is mature enough to deny total care because it impede their development. Mother and
father strive to make decisions instead of their teenage children, because they consider them
not clever enough for making their own decisions. Parents want to save their children from
mistakes; it is a natural desire, but it is not right in my opinion. Anybody should learn and
sometimes human has to learn by making mistakes; otherwise he would come in adult life
helpless and weak. In that way, wanting support their children, parents involuntary harm
them.
Children, from their side, becoming teenagers do not realize themselves like babies, they
consider that know everything in this world and think that parents get nothing in the modern
life, so they can not help them to make correct decisions. Children want to rush out from
parents' concern; they are attracted by adult life. So, the conflict will not seem to be ended,
because of misunderstanding one another. That is why in order to keep peace both of these
sides have to find a compromiss. Children should realize that parents because of their life
experience sometimes are able to make more correct decision than a child himself. Parents, on
the other hand, should not to intervene every time in life of their teenage children and give
them an opportunity to make their own decisions, their own mistakes. Anyway, parents should
respect their child's choice and admit the right of child to make his own decision, especially in
important questions of life as choice of profession etc. At last, child has to get a responsibility
for his decisions, so that he could not tell in any unlucky result that it was his parents' fault
because they did not give him a freedom in actions. Sometimes it is very important just
prompt to child a right way, but not to press on him. Intelligent parents behave like that and
they have fewer problems with their teenage children.

 Career decisions: These parents supported their kids'

dreams!
 When it comes to children’s career decision, where should parents draw a line between
advising and imposing? From where should the role of mentoring begun and interfering stop?
Should it be simply guidance or expectation of adherence? Careers360 spoke to five parents who
consciously decided to step back and let their child pursue their respective dreams, guiding as and
when required. The result? Read on:

 WHEN parents try to live their dream career through their children, the latter may feel frustrated.
“Children are seen as legacy holders of a particular profession. Yet, they may not have the aptitude or
interest for the imposed career,” explains Ashok Mittal, Chancellor, Lovely Professional University.

Now, visualise a different scenario; parents allowing their children to follow their dream and extending full
moral and financial support. Suggestions being offered when asked, and taking a step back, giving the
reigns of accountability to them. What is the result? State Bank of India employee Pradeep Gupta has an
answer.
 As a discerning parent, he encouraged his son, Icarus Gupta who is based in the US, to go for full-
time study taking a break from his work, as desired by Icarus. The IIT alumnus wanted to study further
because. “I felt the urge to do more than just gather user requirements and write computer programmes,” he
shares. While friends and relatives failed to understand why he needed to quit his high-profile, well-paying,
bank job and go back to studies, his father egged him on. A
confident Icarus, then, didn’t need anyone else’s validation.

“I learned various topics in finance and economics, useful in "Children

understanding the dynamics of financial markets and is crucial for are seen as
evaluation of financial risk exposures on complicated financial
products.” The result? “I work at a bulge bracket bank and am
the legacy
involved in financial risk management,” says the satisfied bank holders of a
employee. He is a happy person, so are his parents. “I just ensured profession"
that both my children get a nurturing environment at home,” says Mr.
Gupta in all humility. He is not willing to take more credit than this.
Ashok Mittal
There are many such examples. Careers360 brings to Chancellor, Lovely
you stories of five such students from different walks of Professional University
life, who took disparate routes in a bid to find their
mooring. Our Special Correspondent also spoke to their parents to understand what
propelled them to put their faith in their children’s abilities. Meet five young guns
Rashmima Dutta, Shashank Arun, Gaurie Arora, Anshul Arora and Kabeer Shrivastava
who are all following their dreams.

Calling the shots

No one from her family had ever been related to films, yet, her
biggest support comes from her father

Rashmima’s parents believed that if their child is motivated enough to

find her destination, then they must give her wings.

A final year student of Satyajit Ray Film and TV Institute, Kolkata,

Rashmima used to work as a sub-editor with The Economic Times in
Bangalore, the city where her parents are settled. But she longed to be
associated with film-making. So, she filled up applications for FTII, “My father
Pune and SRFTI, Kolkata. Rashmima got a call to enrol from the said if you are
latter. getting
A career associated with films raised a few concerns from relatives something on
and friends. No one from her family had ever been related with films, your own
so the concern was natural. But that was no reason for civil engineer merit, then you
father Mr. T. Dutta to discourage her. sould pursue
it"
“I went by her inclination, her future, and the fee affordability,” he
says, when asked the reason for granting permission. “In fact I was Rashmima
thrilled when I heard Rashmima has got through SRFTI,” he shares. Dutta, Satyajit
Ray Film and
“My father said if you are getting something on your own merit, then TV Institute,
you should pursue it,” she corroborates. Kolkata
“The reputation of both the institutes is unparalleled and being
 government institutes, the fees are subsidised,” the 26-year old explains the reason for
zeroing in on to these two. The cost of three-year fulltime programme amounts to Rs. 1.5
lakhs including hostel fee.

Parental concerns of sending a girl child away to a hostel in Kolkata were high for Mr
Dutta and his homemaker wife Mala. “In today’s scenario, most children are out of their
homes either for studies or for jobs, so we were mentally prepared,” he shares. For
Rashmima’s mother, reconciling with this modern day trend was a tad difficult because her
only sibling and brother, a computer engineer by profession, also lives away from home,
for work.

And it would be long before Rashmima, an alumnus of Asian College of Journalism

Chennai, returns home, for the next stop would be Bombay. “Bombay will give her the
opportunity of earning and learning,” says Mr. Dutta, “The real mettle will be tested in
Bombay.”

For Rashimma who is specialising in Editing, she will have to find a job on her own as
campus placement is not the trend in her institute. But there good number of contacts,
alumni and faculty members, whose help suffices in obtaining the first job.

The institute offers specialisations in three other areas;

cinematography, direction and screenplay writing and
audiography, she says. Explaining her nature of work, she
T Dutta
shares, “Our job is to compile all the random shots in
Civil
order of script to make a complete story.”
engineer
by profession
The film is shot individually and unsystematically, she
describes. Job opportunities can crop up for TV serials,
films, adverts, documentaries. “There is a dearth of
"I went by her inclination,
technically qualified people in this field,” says Mr. Dutta
her future and the fee
who is on the same page as her daughter on her soon-to-
afffordability. In fact, I was
begin job hunt.
thrilled when she got
admission to SRFTI"
There is no glamour attached with her job. It is sheer hard
work behind the camera. The work of director, music
composer, singers, lyricist’s et al gets noticed, but an editor remains obscure. But doesn’t
the editor’s name figure in a movie credit roll? “Yes, it does, but who waits to see the
credit roll?” she asks.

Well, next time as audience, you must. When you spot Rashmima’s name, clap loudly. The
hard-working creative girl is expecting acknowledgement, nothing more than that.

Combining artistic and utilitarian worlds

Despite financial difficulty this boy from Etah was determined to
embrace his passion - architecture

Education is the only ticket out for small city residents who dream big
and are determined to realise it. So, after completing Class 10, the boy
from Etah moved bag and baggage, 75 kms from home to Aligarh, to
take admission in Aligarh Muslim University. “I chose an
Architecture course,” he says because the line of work catered to his “The fee for
artistic sensibilities and integrated well with utilitarian value. Lawyer the B Arch
father Mr. Arun Kumar Maheshwari and homemaker mother Meera, from
had complete faith in their child’s decision. BBDNIM,
Lucknow was
“Etah is a small underdeveloped place, which couldn’t have offered high and
him any career scope,” shares Mr. Maheshwari. He wasn’t even financial
forced into staying at Etah to complete 10+2 as the city had no good compromises
schools. Three years later in 2000, Shashank passed the AMU were made by
programme obtaining a ‘Diploma in Architectural Assistantship’ that the family”
cost parents Rs 32,000 tuition fee including lodging and board.
Shashank
Shashank then joined a construction outfit in Delhi-NCR instead of an Arun, School
architecture firm. “Here I got exposure to the execution part,” he of Planning
explains. For him, paper drawings being translated into tangible and
structures packed more fascination. Two years later Shashank felt the Architecture
need to specalise but the Council of Architecture (Government of (SPA)
India body) stipulated that for advanced architectural studies, Class 12
certificate is mandated.

So in 2002, Shashank took UP board private exam, passed, and moved on to pursue B.
Arch from BBDNIM, Lucknow, a 5-year full-time programme that cost Rs 9 lakhs
approximately. It was testing time for Shashank too.

“The BBDNIM fee was high and financial compromises

were done by family,” says Shashank who has younger
brother. As the course progressed, the 28-year old became
Arun Kumar
more focused. “It was the project coordination part where
Maheshwari
exists a massive coordination gap right between
Lawyer
designing and final execution of that design at the site.”
"Etah is a small
underdeveloped place, After completing B. Arch in 2009, he took admission in
which could not have School of Planning and Architecture (SPA) to pursue full-
offered Shshank any career time two-year Master’s in Building, Engineering and
scope" Management. Total cost: Rs. 2.5 lakhs. But the final
semester student is now training at prominent architect
firm Design Consortium. “Here I give designing solutions,” explains Shashank who uses
father’s name, Arun, as surname. Now that’s a gift, which can make any father swell with
pride.
“I will continue to love what I do”

This lawyer’s high-profile clients pay the bills while the less fortunate get his service,
pro bono

Kabeer may have had a vague interest in social service as a teenager,

yet with his cosmopolitan disposition, working as an activist or with
an NGO was a ruled out, early on. The boy from Gorkhpur aspired for
a high-profile career that afforded the finer things in life.

So when father Arun Kumar Shrivastava suggested he take up law, a

career that could enable him to achieve a fine blend of two
contradictory worlds, he readily agreed. And to nobody’s surprise, the
bright boy stood as a star performer in his law studies. Ideally, his
father, General Secretary in Janata Dal (U) wanted Kabeer to pursue “In
engineering, followed by an MBA. “But I was an average Gorakhpur, I
Mathematics student,” admits Kabeer. So after Class 10 in Gorakhpur have seen
and Class 12 in Delhi-NCR, the next stop was law in Mumbai. lawyers, who
may be
While homemaker mother Mrs. Kiran Bala harboured no objection to qualified yet
his desire, some concerns were raised in the joint family where he have no
grew up. “This was to do with the perception about lawyers, who passion or
usually end up surviving with little means,” says Mrs. Bala, herself a interest”
student of Patna Law College in the 70’s. “In Gorakhpur, I have seen
lawyers, qualified to be lawyers, but who have no passion or active Kabeer
interest in pursuing it,” shares Kabeer. The misguided notion of Shrivastava,
‘People who have nothing else to do become lawyers’ was negatively Government
weighing on the joint family members too. “And so the extended Law College,
family had many naysayers,” says Kabeer, “and my grandmother Mumbai
could not understand what it was, that I was doing which was taking University
so long,” he chuckles.

But having travelled extensively since the age of 17 to places like China, Africa and
others, it dawned on Kabeer that law was a respected
Arun Kumar profession worldwide. This was a positive affirmation
General that further fed his desire to carry on with law.
Secretary, In 2008, he passed out of Government Law College,
Janata Dal Mumbai University after pursuing a five-year
(U) programme. However, Kabeer surmises that a three-year
course is good enough for a start-up practice. Unless one
has real life exposure, just pouring over theories and
"I suggested Kabeer take statutes for another two more years is no good, maintains
up law, a career that could the 25-year old.
help him to achieve a fine
blend between two Being a State law college, the course fee was subsidised.
contradictory world" “It was no more than Rs. 15,000 per year including the
 hostel stay,” he states but other expenses, including food were an expensive affair in the
financial capital.

No sooner the course was over, Kabeer was lapped up by top-notch Mumbai Law firm,
Nishith Desai Associates during campus placement. “I am an Associate and practice
mainly with the corporate team in social sector that includes education sector as well,” say
the recent Mumbaikar on his work profile. While some clients are billed to ensure salary
cheque, others are taken on pro-bono basis.

Kabeer is happy being a lawyer and servicing both the worlds. There are times when he is
putting up a late night at work and a client calls him to thank. “It makes me feel special,”
he says. What’s next for the hardworking ambitious lawyer? “I will continue to love what I
do.”

Good communication skills= a plethora of options

Despite his own experiences, this father allowed his son to follow
in his footsteps

A second year hotel management student of IHM, Lucknow, Anshul

Arora is now over the fundamentals of the course and is moving on to
specifics. His father Pradeep Arora, also a Hotel Management
graduate, wasn’t the inspirational force behind Anshul’s choice
though. After serving 25 years in the profession, he hung up his boots “An HM
and moved on to corporate sector six years back. product gets
the kind of
“This job has demanding work hours,” explains Mr. Arora, now a grooming that
senior manager, HR and Estate supervisor, Botil Oils. “Every can kickstart
profession has it pros and cons,” he adds. The decision to pursue HM one’s career in
was partly taken also because Anshul the service
had been an average student and industry
Pradeep possessed no appetite for academics.
Arora Hands-on training suited his Anshul Arora
Senior temperament better. (IHM),
Manager,
Lucknow
HR and Earlier, Anshul wanted to be a chef,
Estate but as the course progressed, the
supervisor, Delhi- born and bred boy realised his strength lies in
Botil Oils social skills. “Specialisation will further polish my
communication as well as presentation skills,” he says.
"I too had burnt my He also realises that being more sophisticated in these
fingers running an Italian key areas can open up a plethora of career options for
restaurant, which closed him in top-notch BPOs or HR industry.
down. Every profession has
its pros and cons” “And across sectors, I can land sales and marketing job,”
Anshul adds. An HM product finishes with the kind of grooming that can kickstart a
student’s career in any service-related industry. Mr. Arora candidly attributes his grooming
to HM industry. “When I started out, my English was pathetic,” he sums up. Post HM, an
MBA in Event Management overseas may be Anshul’s next stop.

Tryst with biotechnology

Despite not knowing much about it, these parents allowed their
daughter to pursue an upcoming field hildren to make their own

“My brother is studying in Singapore and now I am out of home in

Chennai, too,” says Gaurie Arora, a first-year B.Tech student at SRM
University, with a specialisation in biotechnology. The 18-year old is
quite aware of the fact that this is agonising for her parents. Yet father “I was always
Arun and mother Anju readily allowed her to pursue her academic interested in
interest. “Though my parents don’t know much about biotechnology, biology but did
an emerging field, they still let me go,” she shares. not want to be
a doctor.
A brief engagement with Biotech began for this Sanskriti School Biotech
student in Class 11 and continued in Class 12. Before long, what fascinated me
started as 2-year appointment with the subject, culminated in a full- the most, so I
blown obsession. “I was always interested in biology, but I didn’t decided to
want to be a doctor,” explains the 2010 Class 12 pass out, “Biotech pursue it
fascinated me the most and so I wanted to pursue it further.” further”

Gaurie didn’t succumb to her doctor uncle‘s continual persuasion of Gaurie Arora
studying medicine either. ”My elder brother and his wife are doctors SRM
and my brother really wanted her to be a doctor,” her father shares. University
But the parents knew of their daughter’s inclination and were
personally against the idea of forcing their kids to slog for academic excellence.

“I always favoured children taking up extra-curricular activities,” says Mr. Arora who
works as Vice President, Corporate Communications in conglomerate Jindal Steel and
Power. It helps hone social skills, improves interpersonal relationships, helps refine
communication and presentation skills, which are important factors in today’s career path,
maintains Mr. Arora. While a major chunk of Gaurie’s batchmates went into areas like
fashion design, journalism, architecture, engineering and other flourishing fields, she stuck
to the biotech field. Even when it meant moving out of the comforts of her Delhi home
and settling into a new lifestyle and in a new culture.
 But how difficult was it for the mother to let go of her
daughter? “I wanted to give both my children an equal
chance,” says Mrs Arora, a B.Sc (Botany) and B.Ed by
qualification. The family allowed Gaurie’s brother Arjun to
go to Singapore for Class 9-12 studies. “He obtained a
scholarship and felt a sense of achievement, so we didn’t
stop him,” says Mr. Arora leaving the decision to his son.
Arun Arora So, Gaurie too was given a fair chance.
VP, Corporate
Communications, On why Gaurie chose SRM, she shares, “The college did
Jindal Steel and Power not ask for any donation, besides its reputation in biotech
studies,” she says. “We visited the campus and were
"We visited the SRM satisfied with the infrastructure,” says Mr. Arora, a
University campus and qualified mechanical engineer with an MBA. The annual
were very satisfied with fee is Rs 1.5 lakh exclusive of hostel charges, he share.
the infrastructure"
As for Gaurie, the biggest change has been living in a
hostel. The experience has made her more responsible.
“Classes begin at 8.45 a.m. and we can’t miss it,” she says. It is still the first semester and
the lessons in time management and financial prudence are already being learnt. These
life lessons are important too, irrespective of whether you are a doctor or a
biotechnologist.