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BALEOS, KINJI R.

BSHM MH-13

UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

ANDREW E. SIGUAN

REFLECTION PAPER

When I was a child the world seemed to be a place of joy and happiness to me, there
was nothing to worrying about. Whenever I cried, somebody picked me up. When I did not
like to sit alone, I was always in somebody’s army and I grew in age, worries about my
studies and small worldly matters came upon me. Our life varies depending on our life
experiences in the society. I believe that no people will have seen life in the same way these
would be many people that have similar thoughts in life but none of them would be exactly
the same. That is why I can reflect myself to the philosophy of Rene Descartes which is
“everything must be subjected to doubt“ to David Hume that self depicts on “direct sense
experience” and I also believe by Socrates he dictum that “unexamined life is not worth
living” that most us we can examine and correct to have substantially influenced by our
mind.

I can still remember when I was a child always asking myself the “WHY” question of
life. Like Why I am here? What is my purpose? Why do certain things happen? And there’s
really god? I had kept this question to myself and eventually pushed them out of my mind.
Back then I don’t really had ideas why I am here or what am I supposed to be doing, but by
time goes by we learned through our environment because from time to time we examined
our life by putting in to it and that would be our experiences and from that experiences we
will be able to answer all doubts in our life.

I was raised by my grandparents to be a good man who tries to be already kind and
helpful for other people and live with faith in God. But I can’t blame myself for being bad
because no matter what we good there’s always dark side on us. I’ve been put into situation
wherein my parents were called with our school principal caused I’ve faced into lot of trouble
which we can’t escape on our childhood days. I’ve felt situations where I was stabbed in the
back that is why it builds up on my mind that I don’t need to trust someone that much. As
gay I belong to world of LGBTQ community wherein I can’t blame myself for being tempted
to sexual pleasure since its normal for most of us. I’ve also experience bullying, prejudice
and discrimination from other people especially to my very own family but it doesn’t lose me
however I turn it into strength to continue living in this world full of hatred. I’ve also put into
situation that I’m the one to do the judgment within me and I am not afraid to commit bad
decisions as long as I won’t do it the same way around. These all experiences of mine make
me believe that I exist in this world that there is me in this world and I have purpose. I’ve
examined my life throughout the years I’ve at least answered those doubts within me. These
experiences I’ve learned help me to guide my path and face my future with proper attitude,
having circle of friends is also important however the point is to choose wisely and surround
yourself with well-wishing and loyal people which won’t stab you in the back when you will
need help. We need to be happy on all aspects in our daily life. I have the constant joy inside
my soul that is depend only in my inner conditions. I need to be positive thinker and pro-
active because all that is in me can only be damage by me and only who can find it again.

I still have a lot of decision to make. The only thing I badly want is to complete my
mission. I have seen my life ups and down, but I am a person with strong personality, I have
to keep living, I have to explore more, I have to learn so many things in this world, I must
answered all doubts within me and I can only survive being me and have faith in God and by
that I can reach the world of success.

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