The Secret To Finding That

Special Someone In Your Life

For many people being in a relationship gives them a sense of identity,
purpose and belonging. They feel that having that special someone, no
matter how much of a compromise is required, allows them to comfortably
fit into their social group, especially if everyone in their circle is partnered.
Being single can feel alone, lonely and an outsider.

Letting The Pressure To Find A Partner Build Up

This can distract you into making bad decisions, feel impelled to hook-up
with someone out of a feeling of necessity. That might be okay in the short-
term as a temporary stopgap, offering companionship for a time, but it's
important to recognise that for what it is.

So often people feel bereft when a relationship ends. Even the ending of a
bad relationship can feel like a failure, generating fear, apprehension,
anxiety. There may be concerns about the future; will I meet someone else,
how long will I be on my own, should I have tried harder or stayed with the
relationship I had?

There's Nowhere More Lonely Than

A Loveless Relationship

Where one person stays because of financial reasons, a fear of being

alone or of upsetting the children or family. The tension, underlying
resentment, hostility or constant bickering can make for a very unhappy
household. There's nothing 'special' about a relationship that's missing love
or mutual respect.

When we're desperate to find a special someone it can cause more

problems than it resolves. Defining ourselves and others through our
relationship status can miss the real point of having someone important
with whom to share our life. That person should add value, not provide the
sole reason for our existence.
 Some People May Even Enter
Our lives In A Purely Temporary Capacity

As such, they may provide the impetus for us to move on from a bad
situation, enthuse us to review our lives, change careers, update our
image, introduce us to new exciting hobbies and interests. But once that's
on track they may well then fade from our orbit.

Other people may be fair-weather friends or lovers, great when everything's

going well but not much good during stormy times. They can't or don't want
to deal with any of our mess, troubles or complications. Conversely, there
are those people who love nothing more than to coach, problem-solve and
fix us, the foul-weather friends and lovers who enjoy deep and meaningful
sessions but don't much care to party or socialise.

Having a relationship with either may work well for a time, but is unlikely to
be a long-term solution to your relationship status. But equally, not all
special relationships have to be permanent.
 An Important Step Is To Ask Yourself
What You Want From A Relationship

Do you really need a special someone, does your life literally revolve
around having a significant other in your life, does your relationship status
define who you are? What does that look like to you? It's important to know
if you're prepared to wait for the right person to come along, no matter how
long that may take.

Some people may be focussed on getting married or living permanently

together, for others that would be too intrusive. Some may want a constant
partner where they do everything together, discuss everything, share every
aspect of their lives, but others like to keep some independence and
separateness, enjoying specific times together, like holidays or weekends,
but living their own lives at other times.
 To Find Our Special Someone It's Good To First Start
Working On Yourself

Ask yourself who's the most important person in your life. Even if you still
have young children, it's best if the answer is you. When you feel good
about yourself, healthy, happy and at peace, everyone in your life benefits.

Then you find that your quality of life improves and you realise that you'd
rather be alone than with someone who's not right for you, who's
unsupportive or brings negative energy into your home.

Being on your own is better than good enough or fine, once you're
comfortable in your own company.
 When You Learn To Love Yourself

When you learn to love yourself, you find ways to communicate your
thoughts and feelings to others and are able to define appropriate
boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable treatment and behaviour. Your
desperate need to have a special someone abates and you're able to be
more selective and discerning, able to find someone who compliments you
and adds value to your life.

You become clearer about the things you will and won't accept. Sure, some
things that bother others may be fine by you; that's good for you to know
and can help you to become clearer about what you want from a partner.

It's liberating to realise that a special someone is only special because

they're right for you. The relationship then becomes a wonderful outcome
and addition, rather than a necessity in your life.
Click here to discover my #1 recommended
way to attract your soul mate