Journal 1 - Connected

I agree with the speakers observations that people focus so much energy on their phones and
technology as their outlet of communication. She talks about attention and how technology
makes our attention more specific. I agree that people use their phones to become a distraction
or something that takes our attention away from something else. I can see where this could be a
problem and could definitely get worse. I don’t disagree with much that the speaker talks about.
I like how she said that relationships are messy and so on but technology cleans it up. It is a
very interesting concept that technology can clean up relationships and give a different point of
view in those relationships. I think technology has impacted me very much. I am always
connecting with my friends through my phone and find myself going through my phone when my
attention is limited to others. I also think some of my communication skills have gotten better
because I do connect with people over the phone so much. I am person who likes the face to
face conversation more than phone conversations. The problem is that most people favor
technology over the person sometimes. She talks about being alone but connected through
people and I cannot agree more. We sit alone with our phones talking to multiple people at once
and trying to connect to them. She also makes a point of people wanting to share things and so
they lose focus of themselves trying to find something to share. Her idea makes the idea of
connection difficult because people try to connect but can’t relate to others with the real them.
When she talked about kids growing up not learning to be lonely from their family but learn it
through technology I completely agreed. My family is very close but sometimes we find
ourselves watching a movie “together”, but when we look around the room, everyone is on their
phone doing something other than watching the movie together. I enjoyed her ideas on the
concept of being alone but connected. I completely agree with her and her ideas.

Journal 2 - Self-Concept
1. Family
2. Church Member
3. Basketball Team
4. Closed Gyms AAU Basketball
5. YMCA

I see this ranking of the groups I belong to and find it solely focused on my family. Obviously my
family is the first group that I belong to. I believe they are the most important thing in my life and
they gave me the next four items on the list. They brought me up in faith and God and
continually teach me everyday. They push me to go to church on Sundays and tell me to pray
every time I come to them with problems. They tell me to put God first in my life and yet I think
God put them in my life to represent him. My grandfather and father are the two biggest role
models in my life and if I am at least half the men they are I know I will be doing good for my
future family. They also instilled in me the love of basketball and that is why the next two items
on the list are basketball related. Playing the game I love and coaching it. I think basketball
being so important in my life really signifies who I am. I find something that gives me passion in
my life and I follow it. I believe I am someone who gives my 100% effort and basketball has
taught me that in life. I joined the basketball team and Closed Gyms AAU program because I do
want that sense of belonging. I always find that when I play basketball with every team I play
with. The friends I make through basketball have been life long. My best friends and life long
friends have grown through the game of basketball. It defines my life and who I am. My family
gave me something to really be passionate about and I hope I can instill the same passion my
children and grandchildren. The last item on the list is the YMCA which is and organization I
started working for. The reason I added them is because I believe in what they do. I think how
they treat people from all walks of life is truly amazing and do not find many organizations trying
to make a difference in communities one by one. Some people look at the Y as just being a
place to workout or drop their kid off for child care, but if they look into some of the programs,
they really try to make a difference and I want to be a part of it. They have environment clean up
programs and child camp programs that help kids all the time. These are the type of things my
family showed me were important so I think they again are a part of why I am a part of this
organization.

Journal 3 - Self Esteem

I think the test is very blunt when asking questions about a touchy subject like self-esteem. I
think there are very few people who would truly answer all those questions honestly because
people have a concept of who they are and who they want to be. Often they answer those types
of questions with this idea in mind. They try to make themselves into someone different by
answering the questions in a way they think they should answer them instead of being brutally
honest with themselves. That is why it is hard for me to believe in these tests or their results. So
I do not believe that this assessment is accurate. The questions are very straight forward and
make you feel like you are depressed or extremely sad if you continually answer them with
honesty. I did not answer every question honestly because I do want to look at myself and feel
that horribly. I really did not life this assessment, it made me uncomfortable and I the results I
got where interesting. They talked about me trying to bend over backwards to keep people
around and gain their approval. That is something I completely agree with and it is a problem in
my life because it leads to pain and heartache most of the time because my effort is usually not
reciprocated. The results also try to give me positive inspiration and that is strange to me
because they set the test up to make you feel so bad about yourself, yet when you are done
they tell you that you are good enough. I do not know how to make a self-assessment test
better. I personally do not believe in them and so it is difficult for me to see any point in them. I
think instead of answering blunt questions about someone's self-esteem, there should be
situations or prompts and the subject has to answer how they react to them. Yet that still causes
the problem of people not being honest and answering in the way they see themselves rather
than who they really are. So I guess I wouldn’t change or alter anything about this assessment.

Journal 4 - Social Comparisons

I try not to socially compare myself to anyone because I think we tend to look at all their positive
attributes and how amazing their life is but forget to see their problems and struggles. It also
only leads to self-doubt and there are plenty of other things in this world that we do not have
control over that already lead to self doubt, I don’t need to add another one. Yet, I can’t always
be strong and I guess I find myself socially comparing to my friends the most. I look at what they
are doing with their lives and how they seem like they are all together and I compare my life
where it seems like everything is falling apart. My self-esteem takes a big hit when I compare
myself and that is the reason I try not to do it very much. I look at my friends who live with
roommates or by themselves and not with their parents. I compare myself to that how I feel like I
am so far from getting to that point. Being a basketball player and a very competitive one I
constantly try to compare myself to other basketball players, saying I am better than him or I am
not as good as him. This is the instance I find that comparing myself to others can be a good
thing. Usually when I find someone who I can tell is better than me, I work harder to pass them.
It is a strong motivator for me in my life and I like having that mindset. There are some people
that I can never pass and I am fully aware of it, but there are plenty of people that I can. I never
find myself comparing appearance with other people. It is usually either basketball or lifestyle
that I compare myself to others with. Social comparisons can be dangerous to self-esteem and
that is why I try to stay away from it as much as possible.

Journal 5 - Confirming and Disconfirming Responses

Me and my best friend have a pretty positive and fair relationship. We have been best friends
since like fourth grade and so we have had our ups and downs but we have stayed really good
friends no matter what. My friend likes to talk a good amount and so I get confirming messages
all the time from him. We plan to hang out almost every weekend and communicate every day.
Whenever we do hang out, he always jokes with me and compliments me saying that he only
keeps me around because I am attractive. I find that to be a confirming message I guess. Some
disconfirming messages would probably when we disagree and talk about the idea of not
hanging out anymore. That is just said when we are mad at each other usually. For the most
part we have positive interactions together. The only reason I say that our relationship is also
fair is that we do not talk very much even when we hang out. I guess we just kind of enjoy each
others company more than anything. I do not have many close friends at all. He would be the
only one and we really aren’t that close. So I guess this was a little more difficult to come up
with because of my lack of relationships experience. I do not talk to many people and so I spent
a good amount of time trying to figure out who I would talk about. Everyone in my family is so
close that I couldn’t really describe my relationship with them. If I ever have any negative type
relationships with people, I usually do not talk to them anymore or they do not talk to me. So I
guess I would have to start talking to them positively and send confirming messages to them. I
would have to verbally ask to hang out or try to be their friend by letting them know that I enjoy
them. Nonverbally I would smile and try to be relaxed around them to let them know that I do not
want to put pressure on anything but just try to have a positive interaction with them.

Journal 6 - False Appearances

I think there is some ethics involved. I find nothing wrong in trying to impress people. A first
impression is very important and trying to make it a good one by dressing better and getting
advice on how to do that isn’t wrong. I don’t think it is fake either. If James wants to spend
money and ask for help to impress people to get a job rather than just show up unprepared, he
is doing it right. Everyone manipulates their appearance everyday with the clothes they wear
and how they do their hair. I don’t think of it as an ethical matter, rather an insight into one's
character. People who give effort to make a good first impression to others they do not know is
a good thing. To constantly portray a fake self to gain liking from others is not unethical. It only
hurts that person doing it rather than those around them. Now there can be instances where
people act fake to get something and then stop acting that way. That I believe is unethical.
When a person dresses up to look good and favorable, I do not find that unethical. Faking it to
make it comes with a great amount of work. Constantly trying to prove to yourself you can be
better is harder work than trying to prove it to other people. If anything faking it to make it is
more unethical to yourself. I don’t believe that false appearances are unethical.