Your Website

Sucks!
(This Is About Why That
Might Be So)
 This Session:
→ Introduction and Background
→ Theme 1: We Are All Nuts!
→ Theme 2: The Beauty Myth
→ Try This: An Alternative Approach
→ Theme 3: Web Development (ahem) "Services"
→ Theme 4: The Invisible
→ Where to From Here?
Why are you
here?
 My Objective:
Give you a better framework for taking your next
steps
Introduction and Background
Comedy Hypnotist Gerard V
Full-time entertainer.
Australia, New Zealand, USA, everywhere.
Recovering Info. Tech Professional.
Master-practitioner of NLP.
2005 - November: First stage show
2006 - June: First website
2014 - June: Quit my day job
2028 - Overnight success!!
I have nothing
to sell you.
I do not have
all the
answers.
 Distinguish
Opinions from
Facts
Evidence vs Eminence
Selection Biases
Post Hoc Rationalisation
 That first website, I had it done in the same way
almost everyone does.
I started with "Well, I need a website" and then . . .
Question
Who here has a website?
How did that happen?
Theme 1
We are ALL Nuts!
How people get websites . . .
Q: How Did You Get
Yours?
Q: How did you know
what it should say?
I did this too!
 The Presuppositions
1. Others Are Successful
2. They Know What They Are Doing
3. Their Websites Work
4. We Can Emulate Their Ideas
5. This Will Work For Us
We are nuts!
Well I was.
Those Presuppositions Are All Wrong
Theme 2
The Beauty Myth
Here's how
people get
websites . . .
 Or . . .
. . . they find or know someone who'll build them a
website on Wordpress for $999 or whatever.
 Typical
Hypnotist
Websites
 Question
Who has made an online purchase recently?
Beauty Does Not Matter
Well okay, it matters a teeny bit, but not much.
 Summary:
→ All about appearances
→ Purposeless decoration
→ Useless functions
→ Running with the pack*
→ Focused on what you want to TELL them
Try This: An
Alternative
Approach
What really matters!
Beauty is only skin deep
Websites have to do something
What it does is your biggest single
decision
Everything needs to focus on that main
thing
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing
Ugly sites work too.
Sometimes even better.
 Seven Interlocking Pieces
1. Who You Are (Brand)
2. What You Do (Product)
3. Who are your customers (Market)
4. What is your offer?
5. How You Make That Offer (Website)
6. How You Convert Inquiries
7. How You Deliver
Where is The
Beginning?
Suspend your disbelief

Forget what you Know

Come With Me On A journey

It starts with your brand
Who you are
What you do
What makes you -distinctive-
 Exercise
Create your Brand / Identity
Who are you?
 Exercise
Define the Product
What is your product?
(What do you do?)
So What?
Who is your
batman?
 Great product
Consistent Branding
Clear offer
Definite Identity
 Question
What do you want your website to do?
You have a product, and offer, and an
identity
Question?
Who is your customer?
 Question
What do you want your customer to do?
So What Would Your Website Look Like Now?
 Key Point
DO IT TWICE!!! (Or More)
Testing is Vital
Theme 3: Web Development (ahem) "Services"
 Developing Websites is easy
Anyone can do it (but not well)
People buy on price and appearance
Web development is sold as an event
Why Do Expensive Services Even Exist?
 Did Your
Designer do
Analytics Too?
Process: The Details Count
 Your Options
→ Trust to luck (and fail)
→ Get a serious digital agency
→ Learn it yourself
 If you want people to pay you as a
professional hypnotist. Why are you not
willing to pay a professional web
designer?
Richard Nongard

https://subliminalscience.com/
Or a professional marketer?
Or a professional digital agency?
How to Know
it Works?
 Question
Who has Google Analytics (or similar)?
 1. Measure everything
2. Vanity metrics vs performance
 Main Point
It is a Process
(not an event)
Image from crazyegg.com
A/B Testing
Speed
Theme 4: The Invisible
 You also need

→ Meta Data
→ Speed
→ Semantic Markup
→ SEO friendly
→ Schema.org Metadata
→ Accessibility
The Invisible
is Important
 <meta name=description content="Comedy
entertainment for corporate events, parties, clubs
and fundraising. Professional hilarious g-rated
hypnotist shows. Always clean. Unconditionally
Guaranteed. Gerard V. Contact him directly for a fast
response and a free quote!">
Do You Know
How That
Stuff is Done?
 Professionals do
→ Most "designers" don't even when they say they
do.
→ It takes a time and effort - most do not want to
pay for what they cannot see.
Content
Banal derivative content is a waste of time.
No-one wants
your free e-
book!
 Be Genuinely Useful
If your purpose in creating a blog post, video or e-
book is clickbait - think again. They only work if they
genuinely add value.
 You Need
Unique, original, quality content focused on your
brand values and points of distinction, written for
your audience.
Google rewards you for relevance and originality
Beware The Hype Cycle
First Someone Has an Idea.
A whole new THING
And it works. Its new.
Others try the THING
Its new. And it works.
People write articles: do the THING!
I did the THING and made
squillions!
That THING is everywhere now
People are catching on, they want it on their site too.
Someone writes a wordpress plugin
Somewhere around here the public have
grown sick of it.
 The Problem Is
By the time you find out about a THING it could very
well be stale and counterproductive.
Do unto others . . .
Only do things that are:
1. Consistent with your Brand
2. Help your customers
Where to From Here?
Analytics
Solve "The
Invisible"
Problem
Process
Testing