KENZIE GALLOWAY

THAT MANY YEARS AGO

“I was an adolescent quite a few years ago”.

Adolescence, a period when a young person develops into an adult. But adolescence isn't
what shapes who we become, it’s what you experience during your adolescence that shapes all of
us. Adolescence is when you become your own person. When you form your own opinions, and
you make your own mistakes. It’s all about experimentation. It’s about trying on different
identities, identities that are heavily influenced by social connections.

I interviewed Jessica McCallum. She had a lot to say about her adolescence, and how she
was shaped into the person she is today. Jessica's parents had her when they were very young,
and they fought often. They would fight in nasty, hurtful ways. “I remember my father pulling
the telephone out of the wall so my mom couldn't call someone, I remember my mom throwing a
chair at him [my father]” (McCallum). By her senior year in high school they were coming to the
end of a very turbulent marriage. The constant conflict between her parents caused Jessica to
become really closed off, she shut off emotions around her home life so she didn’t have to deal
with it. “It [my parents fighting] certainly impacted my psychological state as a young person”
(McCallum).

She was taught very substantial gender roles by her parents as well. “It was painful”
(McCallum). Her mother stayed home most of the time and did all the cooking and cleaning. Her
father never lifted a finger within Jessica's household, he would leave for work, and come home
expecting a meal on the table. She tended to gravitate more towards her mom, “because my dad
cheated on her, he was the one who was at fault for the ending of the marriage” (McCallum). Her
mother was sick with MS (multiple sclerosis) so being around her mother was more important to
her, she felt more loyalty to her mother, as her father was leaving with another woman.

Even though her parents weren’t very involved in her schooling or her sporting events,
they taught her a lot about honesty, a value that she developed and carries into her own parenting
with her children. The way Jessica was raised affects the way she raises her own children. “We
parent the way we were parented” (McCallum). Jessica takes her kids camping, like her parents
did with her and her siblings. They would all dance together and do fun things, another value that
she influences her parenting. “They knew how to show us a good time” (McCallum).

Jessica was a junior in high school, and she got called out by one of her classmates for
being a mean girl, “Why don’t you try kindness” she said? At first, Jessica didn’t pay much
attention to it, but overtime, she started to try kindness. She hung out with this girl and practiced
kindness. “With her friendship and her influence, modeling kindness, modeling this different
way to be, helped me get over myself, and rise out of my own insecurities” (McCallum). So even
the smallest things can result in the most significant shift of character.

Everything we experience during adolescence has an influence on who we become.

Adolescence isn't the same for any two people, everybody has social connections in their life that
influence them daily, that affect the way they live their lives. And it should stay that way,
because no two people need to be the same.