Ava Rose Paul

THE 240
Givens
April 9, 2019
Here Comes The Drone
Part One:

1a. The playwright says that I’m dressed in a full wedding regalia, holding a wedding bouquet

covered in blood, there’s lots of blood. I stare straight out. I don’t respond to Kayla. I stare at

Kayla. She says that I hand the bouquet to Kayla, look offstage, don’t answer Trevor, I laugh

hysterically, and that I don’t speak. I shake my head no and sit alone in my bloody dress.

b. Kayla constantly tells me that I’m okay, that I’m not hurt, that I’m in shock. Always tells me

what to do, everyone does. Tells Trevor I’m a wreck. Trevor says that I grabbed David. Greg said

that I never looked so beautiful and that he was my first love. He also says that I shouldn’t marry

David.

c. I talk about everything that I wanted for myself: I say that my feet were hurting while walking

down the isle. I couldn’t see David. I never wanted to get married outside, I wanted sunglasses,

that stupid song to stop playing, to stop sweating, to sit down. I wasn’t thinking about David or

anything else. I just wanted to jump and leave. I didn’t even choose my own wedding dress. I say

that I don’t have to marry David or do anything that I don’t want to do. I say that I’m fine and

haven’t felt this way since before my Mom died. I want to sit here and figure out my life and

look at the rocks.

2. Growing up an only child isn’t bad because you just become so close with your parents. My

parents own a shop in Gatkins that advertise the town and sells trinkets and things because of the

falls and everything. I basically grew up in this store. When I was 8 they made me officially in
charge of stocking things and cash register. I’ll never forget the day Mom teaching me

everything. Dad was always busy with the paper work in the back, but my Mom was the face of

the shop. Everyone knew her and my Dad in town. Seeing people come in and talk to my for

advice or even invite her over for dinner, was so amazing to me. I wanted to be like her. I’ll

never forget the first time I stood with her and worked beside her, we always would have the best

times.

3. When I was in Middle School, Lily was a really good friend to me. We both loved being

around Kayla too. We were always taking care of Kayla and doing whatever she wanted because

we knew that she would do the same thing for us. There always a leader in the group and ours

was Kayla. She was super smart, helped us all get As and stay on track. She had a plan, but I

didn’t. I didn’t care for getting good grades, even though I did. I just wanted to go home and

work at my Dad’s shop. I loved being with my Mom and Dad in the shop. It was a little special

place in the world and we were proud of it. Kayla didn’t like the store. When we got closer in

freshman year of high school she told me about her big plans to go to the city. They sounded

grand. She said that I shouldn’t waste my life working with my parents. She wanted me to get

out into the world and see more things and not just settle for Gatkins. Ever since she said that

about my Dad and Mom’s shop, I thought to myself that what I wanted wasn’t right. She always

knew what was best. I trusted her because whenever I needed help with anything, she would be

there.

4a. Jennifer Rosa Lanney, some people call me Jen.

b. I’m a libra born October 2nd, 1994, in Gatkins, NY at Arnot Medical Services. I’m 23.
c. In my family we have always been well off because of our shop and tourists that come in.

Especially a lot of families come up here for weddings. As I got older the shop’s profit has gone

down a bit, but I have some ideas with social media to get more people to come in. I’ve never

really had to worry so much about money. I know its worth and I value it because my family

deals with it a lot. Now, money has been a little shorter because of school tuition and Mom’s

death. Things have been harder, the wedding was a lot of money out of pocket. I didn’t a big

wedding, but I got one.

d. My greatest fear would be to lose another person. I never knew what my fear was until it

happened. I never want to witness a close death again. If I lost my Dad, I don’t know what I

would do.

e. My greatest accomplishment was graduating college. I didn’t know if I was going to push

through my Mom’s death, but I made it. My Dad really helped me focus on college, because he

knew that the only way for me to survive, was to continue the path to my career. To focus on

something other than moping around at home.

5. My relationship with Kayla has gotten to a rocky place. It’s not that we aren’t close, we are,

but ever since Mom died it’s been her job to shield to everything in the world. Over the years

she’s been telling me what to do and how to do it. I’ve let her do this. Then with the wedding her

and Sharon have been planning everything. No more of our normal talks of movies, music, and

making funny videos, it’s always about the wedding. Not even asking, but telling me what’s

going to happen. She has been doing this for a very long time, maybe even before Mom died, but

I’m all realizing this now.

 Trevor and I aren’t very close, because he’s kind of an asshole friend of David’s that I

can’t get a way from. Although, when I was going through the death of my Mom he always knew

how to make me laugh, by saying the weirdest things or just being himself. I know him well, but

not necessarily because I want to. David still likes the guy and is Trevor’s only real friend. I’ve

accepted Trevor being a part of our lives, because I can’t really do anything about, plus he’s not

so bad.

Greg and I have had a serious past. There was a time, when I thought we would be

together forever. I really loved him. But now it’s been hard because I’ve been leading him on,

making him think that we will be together some day, but that’s not true. I haven’t talked to him

for a while because I told him to stay away from me once David popped the question. I didn’t

want him to be at the wedding, but Sharon, with the brains, hired him. He’s been trying to get in

contact with me the whole time, I miss him, but I can’t do this anymore. I have to let him go.

David is the man that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He was

good for me. He had a lot of money, he loved me, and he supported me through the roughest time

of my life. I thought that I loved him, because everyone always told me how great he was and

how lucky I was. So I knew that he had to be good for me if everybody supported me. He wasn’t

happy when I told him that I wanted to work at Watkins Glen Veterinary Hospital and finish

getting my degree to become a Vet. He wanted me to go with him to Florida where he can work

on become a Financial Manager for football players. He always wanted to live in Miami and be

successful. He along with Kayla, ever since Mom died have been telling me how to live my life.

I just need him to see things my way.

 Sharon is a lady that my Dad suggested to be my wedding planner because they knew

each other for a while and she would come into the shop to buy things from Dad. Even though

she was sweet, she was a little annoying. I knew that she liked my Dad right away. She couldn’t

keep her eyes off of him. I wasn’t a fan of it obviously, but they seemed happy together. So in the

process she’s kind of become a Step Mom to me, but I still and always will call her Sharon. She

treats me with lots of love and I always appreciated that.

Dad and I were close when I was younger, but towards the end of High School I was so

busy I couldn’t work at the shop so often, and he was always busy with taxes and writing out

checks or paying bills. I love him so much though, always there for me when I need him. When

Mom died he didn’t know how to cope and neither did I, but we just went through it together. We

became closer, him always calling me in college and me always working with him during my

breaks. I love my Dad, he’s the only one that really doesn’t tell me what to do.

6. Dear Kayla,

I know you mean well and you’ve always been there for me. But I have to do what’s right for

me. The only person who knows what’s best for me is me. I don’t know why I’m just realizing it

now, but something just snapped in me. I realize that I’ve been doing what people have been

telling me to do for years. I haven’t done anything about it. I’ve let people walk all over me,

including Sharon, David, Greg, and even you. I know that you’ve helped me get past a horrible

event in my life and you’ve always been there but you’ve always told me what to do. I love you,

but I need time away from you. I have to figure out for the first time what I want. What do I truly

want and need. I need a vacation from my life.

Go and write and become the journalist I know you can be. I just need to be on my own for a

while and find my own way. I can’t follow you forever. I love you.

Jen.

Part Two:

7i. I would be a Meerkat, because I’m afraid of truly coming out into the world.

ii. I would be the color gray, because I’m stuck and haven’t seen color since before my Mom

died.

iii. I would be hummus because people use me and use me, to spread and do whatever they want.

I can be flipped upside down, tossed, spread, whipped, beat, pulled, poked, etc.

iv. I would be a Caravan because lots of people use me and tell me what to do.

vi. I would be the genre alternative because I feel a lot of anxiety and don’t feel a lot from life.

8. The person who lies here has never been listened to.

9. Front: I’m fine Back: why is that enough?

She would constantly tell people that she’s fine and okay, but they would except it and move on.

I want someone to truly listen to me.

10. Similarities:

1. We’ve both lost someone close to us.

2. We were both in love in high school.

3. We both like to party.

4. When we think we’re in love, we would do almost anything for the person.

5. We both want love and to be loved.

6. We love caring for animals.

7. We can both be awkward.

8. We are both hesitant on trusting everybody.

9. We both wanted to go to college.

10. We both have a strong bond and relationship with our Mom.

Differences:

1. I’m not afraid to speak my mind.

2. I’ve always known what I wanted to do with my life.

3. I wouldn’t throw my life away for a man.

4. I have never cheated on someone.

5. She’s timid.

6. I have a good amount of great friends, not only one.

7. She wants to stay in her home town, I left it as soon as I could.

8. I want to travel.

9. She’s close with her dad.

10. She’s not a risk-taker.

Distant Past:

- I met Greg and Kayla in 6th grade. We were in most of the same classes. We were all in the

same friend group with John, Lily, and Ashley. We would hang out after school watch movies,

play Pictionary. The guys mostly hung out with themselves. We all went through our awkward

stages. I always had a crush on Greg, I thought he was so cute. Kayla and Greg were always so

close though. They knew each other better. Lily and I were pretty close through the rest of

middle school.
- Homecoming came around and Greg asked me to go with him. I was shocked because I thought

Kayla and Greg would be the ones that would go. I was so happy and then nothing turned into

something. We kissed that night, it wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad so we decided to make it

official. I was afraid Kayla would be mad at me, but she wasn’t she was super cool about it.

Being in a relationship with Greg was really great. We never really fought, we were just

best friends. I felt bad because Kayla would be the third wheel a lot and Lily, but we made it

work.

- End of Junior year Greg and I got into a big fight. Kayla and I had planned to go to college. I

still wasn’t sure what I wanted to go into specifically, but I wanted Greg to go too. I didn’t mind

if we didn’t go to the same college, but at least some place close to me. Greg on the other hand

didn’t want to go college. He wanted to pursue his dream of being a photographer. I told him that

he could go to an arts school in the city so we would still be together. I realized that he didn’t

want that at all. I think he got tired of me, maybe I was too forward, but I just wanted him to

have a good life and career, and to be with me.

We decided to stay together as long as we could until, it was too late.

- I went to college single, but at least Kayla and I got into the same college and we were able to

room together at Queens College. College was a whirlwind. I got drunk as much as Kayla and I

could take. I didn’t like getting high, not for me. I wanted to try and figure out what I wanted to

do as a career but it was so hard. It’s so easy for Kayla, she’s known what she wanted her whole

life. She’s such a good writer, but I don’t really want much, I just want to have an easy life, so

whatever I can do to get it, I will.

- Leading into Sophomore year I realized that I wanted to become a Veterinarian. I love animals,

ever since I was little. I would always turn on Animal Planet because I thought all the different

types of animals were so interesting. I loved watching Dr. Pols show, he would mostly work with

farm animals, but it was so interesting to watch.

- The very beginning of my sophomore in college I met David. Kayla and I went to a Frat Party,

we never go to them because we agreed that all the guys in Frats suck. We went because some of

my friends from class said that Alpha Chi Rho was the best one. Kayla and I locked arms, had

our whistles and we were good to go. There were actually a lot of girls there and some of the

guys I knew there were good guys, I knew. Kayla and I were dancing, and then I saw this really

cute guy dancing with this girl. He didn’t seem that interested. I saw him later at the party and

introduced myself. It was David, I told him he looked a little scared of that girl. He was like, “It

was a little too much for me, I can’t really dance.” He wasn’t super smooth, but I could tell that

he was sweet. Then he wanted to dance with me, I wasn’t sure, but he pulled me into it. He was

cute. He asked me for my snapchat and number. Kayla and I left, the next day I saw him again.

- Christmas break was right around the corner. My Dad called me after class and he told me that

Mom had died. My whole life collapsed. I broke down. He told me that she died in a car

accident. She was picking up a shipment for my Dad’s store and a drunk driver hit her. My first

thought was to call Kayla and she helped me. David asked me if I was free for dinner that night

and I called him and told him everything. I didn’t know how he would handle it, but he was so

supportive. He really helped me get through this horrible time in my life.

I went home for the funeral with Kayla and David. I told him it’s better if he just stays

away, but he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t leave me. I didn’t do any of my finals before break.
Everything seemed pointless to me. What’s the point of living, we are so small is this world and

taking a test doesn’t matter at all when it comes to my mom. I saw Greg when I got home. David

was beside me, and he didn’t like Greg. I told him all about our break up, so it was a little

awkward. I could have cared less though because my mom was in an urn. He looked good, he

told me that things were going well for him, being a photographer in our hometown and still

drawing. When I hugged him, it felt so nice, I wanted to stay in it forever. I missed him, as much

as our break up hurt me, I needed anyone close to me to help me.

It was good to be surrounded by so many friends and family. My Aunt Lola really helped

me the most. Dad I love to death, but the love of his life was taken from him, we were both a

mess. Lola, looks like my Mom, a lot. She was a rock for me. The break went so slowly and

quickly at the same time. David slept downstairs, while Kayla slept next to me in bed. We all got

really close.

- Back at school David was always with me, to a point where Kayla may have gotten a little

annoyed at. But she was fine with it, because my mom just died, so she wasn’t going to stand in

our way. She liked him though in her own way. She thought that he made me happy. There were

nights when I spent the night in his room and when he spent the night in my room. His roommate

Trevor was really funny. He was annoying, because he just always said what was on his mind

and had no grace to what he would say. But he was cool with me because he knew everything

that happened. We all got along that sophomore year.

- Junior year Kayla and I were getting pretty annoyed with him, but we would always hang out.

Trevor would have a new girl every other week. David and I were still “in love” having a lot of

sex. Fight with David happened the beginning of Senior year. He wanted me to move away with
him after college. I told him that I needed to stay in school because I have to do at least 4 more

years if I want to become a vet, which I do. When David got mad he left. I called Greg because I

missed him and needed someone to talk to other than Kayla. He came down to visit and he

comforted me. We had sex and Greg wanted to keep seeing me. David and I got back together,

but I’ve been seeing Greg on the side.

- David proposed at the end of the Senior year at Graduation. I said yes and decided to stop

seeing Greg and to get serious. I knew that David was good for me and that I needed to move on.

Dad wanted the wedding to be at home and I agreed. He hired his friend Sharon, seemed like

they knew each other more than friends but I didn’t ask. I didn’t really want to know. Greg has

been trying to get into contact with me, but I’ve been ignoring him. Sharon ended up booking

Greg for the wedding to be our photographer, I was not happy.

- Picking out the wedding dress and everything I was present for, but I never got to choose. It

was more of just whatever made everyone else happy.

Where am I?

We are staying at the Watkins Glen Harbor Hotel. Gettin married at Seneca Lake, overlooking

the water and rocks. I am sitting on a bench in between the ceremony and the after party, looking

at the rocks. To my right is where the ceremony/incident happened. To my left is Table Rock,

where the after party is happening, and everyone is in there eating. The wedding started at

8:00pm in order to watch the sunrise. It’s beautiful here, but I want to be here alone. I don’t want

to be surrounded by all these people. Seneca Lake looks calm, I want to jump in it, because I’m

so hot. It is very humid and 87 degrees with 70% humidity. Mosquitos are everywhere. Not only

do I have to wear sunscreen, but bug repellant. I want to be here, in this dress, I need to get out.
What time is it?

The day is Monday, July 9th, 2018, 8:16pm. During this time, the biggest deal was climate

change. NASA said if we don’t change our ways, our planet will die in 12 years, so scary. New

York placed more safety measure on sidewalks, because of the man that attacked people in

Tribeca. School shootings were becoming more and more frequent. The shooting at Parkland

happened in February. Immigration laws and controversy was stirring. A man shot himself in

front of the White House. Also, teachers in West Virginia went on strike for 9 days for more

money and better benefits. Another protest was the National Student walk out.

Near Past:

I woke up today around 10am. I woke up and it didn’t feel different than any other day.

Just instead of me having a little more decision in what I want, I had no say in this day. Kayla

and Sharon went to pick up some brunch for me. They didn’t want me to get out of bed. They

wanted me to get as much beauty sleep as I could. It was delicious, avocado toast with eggs and

sausage, they know me.

Before I knew it I was getting ready. Started getting ready around 3. Sharon helped me do

my make-up and my hair. I don’t even think that I lifted a finger. I look beautiful, I almost don’t

even recognize myself.

Aunt Lola came into my room as I was gettin ready for the last finishing touches. It’s funny,

when I look at her, all I see is Mom. She pulled me aside in the room and told me that it’s not too

late. Having her with me, makes me feel really complete and ready to get married.

Soon it’s around 6pm we went to Watkins Park to take pictures. It was very awkward

with Greg taking pictures of us. I felt uncomfortable, but I wanted the pictures to be nice. Seeing
David made me ready and feel the love I have for him. He’s the perfect guy for me, he supported

me through my mom’s passing. He protects me. I just wanted to get married already but we had

to wait until 8. So I made him promise to help me not fall in front of everyone. I asked him, “you

really love me?” He said he did with all his heart. I knew he meant it, so I trusted him.

Right before walking down the aisle, my dad looked at me and said, “I wish you’re

mother was here to see you.” I didn’t say anything. I just hugged him and we started walking.

I was walking down the aisle and there was a fucking mosquito on my leg, it was itching so bad,

but I was just going to man up and get through it. I made it to the altar. The priest welcomed

everyone and started to talk about David, I heard buzzing, and the next thing I know David fell

onto me. People were screaming. I saw blood and I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. Then the

ambulance was there and David was gone.

Where am I going?

If I achieve my objective: of getting someone to listen to me, I hope that I will start a fresh life.

I hope to figure out my life and do something that will make me happy. To live my own life. To

not be surrounded by people that tell me what to do. To be able to be free. The chance to

celebrate and enjoy life, not just walk through it. Maybe I’ll jump into the water. I can’t wait to

do what I want to do and be where I want to be.

If I don’t achieve my objective: I fear that I will be walking through life, having way too many

regrets. I won’t be able to be free. I’ll be stuck in a life that isn’t mine. It would be a plain and

grey life, if I don’t do anything to change it. There would be no color, I might kill myself if I

don’t make a change. I’m to the point where I would rather it to be over than to live the way that
I have been living it. I fear myself and what I would do, if someone doesn’t listen to what I want

for a change. I just need one person to listen to me and not tell me what to do.
David