A presentation

and workshop
by
Parenting in the digital age David Truss
 Please visit
http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/
to find out about this presentation
and to see all the resources online.

‘Handout’ notes:
http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids

Videos:
http://drop.io/digitalkids
(if YouTube is blocked)
About David Truss
A husband and father to two girls, 8 and 10 years old
Principal of Dalian Maple Leaf Foreign Nationals School
Blogger about Education, Technology and Learning
http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/black-and-white-education/

My journey into technological and networked learning:

http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/who-are-the-people-in-your-neighbourhood/
or see the Brave-New-WWW video in the presentation drop: http://drop.io/digitalkids
 Learning Intentions:
We will examine, explore and question…
• Children’s use of technology

• Potential challenges around technology use

• Practical, proactive parenting strategies

- to maintain connections with children
- to guide children in appropriate and safe use

• Where to find support and resources to better

understand these issues
 Have you ever?
Clicked on a Pop-up advertisement?
Or believed that something online was ‘free’?

Given up trying to find information online?

Spent time at work ‘surfing’ the net?
Found something ‘bad’ that you
were were not looking for?

Given out your email password to a website?

(Or other private information?)
Steering Clear of Cyber Tricks by the YouTube Team
http://www.youtube.com/v/MrG061_Rm7E

Are you behind a filter that

prevents you from viewing YouTube?
Also available here for viewing or downloading:
http://drop.io/digitalkids
 Have you ever?

Signed up for a social network? (Besides Facebook?)

Sent your kid a text?

(Besides making plans to pick them up,
or asking them where they are or
if their homework is done?)

Shared a photo online? Or downloaded a song?

Made an online friend? (That you have never met.)
 Bulletin Board by www.cybertipline.com
http://www.youtube.com/v/ja8xtQNQYDQ

Are you behind a filter that

prevents you from viewing YouTube?
Also available here for viewing or downloading:
http://drop.io/digitalkids
Tell-All Generation Learns to Keep Things Offline

In the Pew study, to be released shortly,

researchers interviewed 2,253 adults late last
summer and found that people ages 18 to 29
were more apt to monitor privacy settings than
older adults are, and they more often delete
comments or remove their names from photos
so they cannot be identified. Younger teenagers
were not included in these studies…
New
NewYork
YorkTimes
Timeshttp://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/fashion/09privacy.html?th&emc=th
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/fashion/09privacy.html?th&emc=th
 As a kid, did you ever?

Go somewhere your parents didn’t want you to go?

(Or break your curfew?)

Do something dangerous?
(Or just really stupid?)

Ignore your parent’s advice?

 As kids, we took
risks, and chances…

Many we remember
fondly, and many
that we would
not want our
children to repeat!

We did most of this

outside of our
parent’s
knowledge.
Two key ways that we learn something are:

1. Trying something new

2. Making mistakes

Our children will make mistakes…

How do we handle this?
How do we minimize the risk?
How do we permit them to learn?
Questions?
 YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND
TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010
BACKGROUND & CONTEXT …(Let me summarize this for you)
• There’s no one-size-fits-all, once-and-for-all solution to providing children
with every aspect of online child safety. Rather, it takes a comprehensive
“toolbox” from which parents, educators, and other safety providers can
choose tools appropriate to children’s developmental stages and life
circumstances, as they grow... In essence, any solution to online safety must be
holistic in nature and multi-dimensional in breadth.
• To youth, social media and technologies are not something extra added on to
their lives; they’re embedded in their lives. Their offline and online lives have
converged into one life. They are socializing in various environments, using
various digital and real-life “tools,” from face-to-face gatherings to cell phones
to social network sites, to name just a few.
• Because the Internet is increasingly user-driven, with its “content” changing
in real-time, users are increasingly stakeholders in their own well-being online.
Their own behavior online can lead to a full range of experiences, from positive
ones to victimization, pointing to the increasingly important role of safety
education for children as well as their caregivers. The focus of future task
forces therefore needs to be as much on protective education as on protective
technology. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf
 YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND
TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010
BACKGROUND & CONTEXT

• It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is

appropriate to a child’s age/development

• To children, technology is embedded and not

an add-on to face-to-face life.

• More internet content is created by children, so:

• Safety and protective education are more

important than ever!
• It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is
age appropriate to a child’s age/development
Let’s start here:
• To children, technology is embedded and not
an add-on to face-to-face life.

• More internet content is created by children, so:

• Safety and protective education are more

important than ever!
 “I come from the Batman era,
adding items to my utility belt,
many
while students today are the Borg from Star Trek, assimilating
technology into their lives.”

http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/warlicks-k12-online-keynote-06/
To the fish, water is invisible.
Tech is invisible
Tech is invisible

e r …
e v
o w
H
This is a staged photo:
 This is a staged photo:

Technology may be ‘invisible’, but we

can choose how pervasive it will be.

My children do not have a phone, or a computer in their

room; their computer time is monitored, and they ask
before watching television or playing video games.
Technology: It’s invisible to them…
Tech is invisible
It is invisible to us too!
 It is invisible to us too!

We are not known as

‘The Phone Generation’.
Our parents
are not known as
‘The Car Generation’.
What did these ‘tools’
provide you with?
What did your
parents think about
the amount of time
you spent on the phone,
or borrowing the car?
 Why do kids go online/use technology?
What needs does this meet?
• Fun
• Independence
• Communication
• Connection
• Adventure
• Creation
• Sense of Belonging
• Risk
• Being heard
• Privacy
We had more
FREEDOM
than most kids
do today! Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on flickr
BUT…
Did you also watch a
lot of TV as a kid?
Back then we passively
sat and watched this tool!
 “I was a bit bored last
week, so I edited
some old Bert & Ernie
episodes to the sound
of M.O.P.'s Ante Up.”
Film student: Stian
Stianhafstad on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/v/21OH0wlkfbc

Back then we passively

sat and watched this tool!
Gaming can be very beneficial:
+ Fun, freedom, excitement, challenge
+ visual resolution
+ spatial coordination
+ hand-eye coordination
(training for microscopic surgery)
+ Leadership & Cooperation skills
“…an effective
World of Warcraft
guild master amounts to
a total-immersion
course in leadership.”
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.04/learn.html
Flow Theory - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Anxiety Arousal

FLOW
CHALLENGES

Worry Control

Apathy Relaxation
Boredom

SKILLS
BUT…
 Gaming can be problematic:
- games can be violent & have little value
- addictive and time consuming
How much time is ‘used’ playing games?
What games does your child play?
How often?
Is this a problem for your family?
Online, you can also find a community
with similar interests and passions...
 To children, technology is embedded and
not an add-on to face-to-face life.
• Fun
• Independence
• Communication
• Connection
• Adventure
• Creation
• Sense of Belonging
• Risk
• Being heard
• Privacy
 To children, technology is embedded and
not an add-on to face-to-face life.
• Fun
• Independence They want the same
• Communication things we wanted as
• Connection kids, but just like we
• Adventure found these things
• Creation in different ways than
• Sense of Belonging our parents, they are
• Risk finding them in
• Being heard different ways than
• Privacy us!
Questions?
 YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND
TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010
SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION …(Let me summarize this for you)
Summary: In the late ‘90s, experts advised parents to keep the family Internet
connected computer in a high- traffic part of the house, but now parents must
account for Internet access points built into many digital devices, including cell
phones. Research has told us that many of the early significant concerns
regarding children and their use of the Internet, such as predation, exist but
not nearly in the prevalence once believed. Other risks, such as cyberbullying,
are actually much more common than thought – starting as early as 2nd grade
for some children. Meanwhile, “new” issues such as “sexting” garner a great
deal of media attention, though recent studies suggest it is not quite as
common as initially believed. Given all the above and the finding of the
preceding task force (the ISTTF) that not all youth are equally at risk, it now
seems clear that “one size fits all” is not a good strategy. Instead, a strong
argument can be made for applying the Primary/Secondary/Tertiary model
used in clinical settings and risk-prevention programs to Internet safety. This
“levels of prevention” method would represent a tailored and scalable
approach and factor in the high correlation between offline and online risk. The
approach would also work in concert with non-fear-based, social-norms
education, which promotes and establishes a baseline norm of good behavior
online. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf
 YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND
TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010
SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION
• Many access points makes monitoring difficult

• Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not

as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests)

• Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually

thought & starts younger than expected

• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’

• Non-fear-based, social norms education

• Many access points makes monitoring difficult

Common advice
still heard today:

“Keep your family

computer in a
central location.”

But that advice

isn’t enough
anymore…
• Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not
as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests)

Sexting definition: (a combination of the

words "sex" and "texting"), it is the slang
term for the use of a cell phone or other
similar electronic device to distribute
pictures or video of sexually explicit images.
It can also refer to text messages of a
sexually-charged nature.
“Predators go after kids that lack
information/knowledge and kids that do not have
clear boundaries about what is and what isn’t
appropriate.

This was confirmed with research where

predators, who had at least 10 victims, were
interviewed and asked what they looked for in a
‘target’.

Time and again they looked for the naive,

uncertain, kids that had limited knowledge, or
vocabulary,http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/lets-talk-about-sex/
pertaining to sex.”
• Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually
thought & starts younger than expected

Will your child come to you for help?

 The Kitchen by the Ad Council
http://www.youtube.com/v/NbtajOvAU10

Are you behind a filter that

prevents you from viewing YouTube?
Also available here for viewing or downloading:
http://drop.io/digitalkids
 “If we (educators and parents) don’t
participate with students online,
then we run the risk of having misguided or
inexperienced friends, or worse yet bullies,
becoming greater influences than us in their lives.

Gordon Neufeld calls it ‘peer orientation’ in his

book, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to
Matter More Than Peers.”

http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/facing-facebook/
Questions?
Speaking of questions…
How good are the questions you ask your kids?
 Sort Of Dunno Nothin' by Peter Denahy
http://www.youtube.com/v/_veIGGP1Uh4

Are you behind a filter that

prevents you from viewing YouTube?
Also available here for viewing or downloading:
http://drop.io/digitalkids
• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’

Start with meaningful communication

• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’
- Get online… (ask them for help)
- Share
- Communicate… (in their spaces)
- Interact
- Play games… (with them)
- Engage
- Watch… (let them teach you)
- Create
- Develop… (expectations with them)
 How much
computer time
should my
child have?
http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Parents-as-Partners
 • Non-fear-based, social norms education
What will YOU do?
– Generate expectations (Proactive)
– Have the conversations and generate
ownership
Use prompts (YouTube videos, case-based
scenarios, teachable moments)
– Establish a response “plan” (Reactive)
– Be available to “support not punish”
– Preserve your attachment (Caring parent)
• Non-fear-based, social norms education

DO DON ’T
U nderstand B an
Monitor Control
Connect I gnore
Engage A void
Communicate D isregard
Chart by Dave Sands
Remember this?

Parent <- Responsibility -> Child

 Consistency Matters!

• Online Behavior
• Respecting others
• Being polite
• Being kind to others
• Appropriate language
• Completing homework
• Helping others
 Consistency Matters!
High Expectations Matter!
• Online Behavior (A part of the continuum of
things we monitor, model
• Respecting others and mentor our kids about
• Being polite with high expectations for
appropriate behavior.)
• Being kind to others
• Appropriate language
• Completing homework
• Helping others
 Questions?
http://RaisingDigitalKids.wikispaces.com/

http://RaisingDigitalKids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids
 Homework
1. Find out what websites & games your child
uses, and what networks they belong to.
(Let them teach you about one of them.)

2. Create some expectations and guidelines

about internet use with your child.

3. Join a social network!

(e.g. Windows Live , Facebook, Club Penguin,
Youtube, ePets, Twitter, WebKins, etc.)
 Thank You
for coming!

http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/

A presentation
and workshop
by
David Truss
Parenting in the digital age http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com
Presentation by David Truss http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com

Photo and source credits (by slide #)

1 & 66 Digital Katie by David Truss
3 School Limits by David Truss on Toondoo
6 YouTube Comment by XDiamondXLoveX on YouTube
11 Dave Leaps by Ann Truss
12 Kai Leaps by David Truss on Flickr
18 & 19 Fisch by gertrudk on Flickr
20-25, & 48 Cassie, Invisible Tech by David Truss
26-27 Phone by Pete Prodoehl on Flickr
26-27 Classic Cars by hiro008 on Flickr
29 Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on Flickr
34 World of Warcraft Wedding by Ramon Snellink on Flickr
41 Cleveland Public Library in SL: Life Size Chess Set by bcg8 on Flickr
42 web2.0 tools by function (Brian Solis & Jess3 by josemota on Flickr
51 & 61 The Bully Wins by David Truss on Toondoo

Special Thanks to Dave Sands: http://connectandprotect.wikispaces.com/