ANGO:

Okay, let's do it.

(DISPATCHER OVER RADIO)
10-4, 20 William 12.
You are eastbound,
pursuing tanker truck.
Backup is available.
Air Unit 3 is in the area.
I can handle this myself.
(PILOT OVER RADIO) This is
Air Unit 3. Forget it, Tango.
We'll take over.
Drop back.
Drop dead. I've been
on this case for 3 months.
We're out of our jurisdiction.
Sheriff and CHP are on the way.
Do whatever you're going to do.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Jesus!
He's crazy!
Shit!
Glad you could drop in.
Like jewelry?
Fuck you!
I prefer blondes.
Do the honors.
TANGO: Captain.
SCHROEDER: What's going on?
Letting the locals do their thing.
You blew out the truck window.
- Two guys are in the road.
- I noticed.
- We're out of our jurisdiction here.
- True.
- What's going on?
- I heard a rumor about this truck.
- What about it?
- It's not a truck.
It's a gas truck.
It's a major moving violation.
Check the first panel?
Full of gas.
We checked the whole truck!
There's nothing in it!
You're out of your neighborhood,
city boy!
I want your badge and weapon!
I want your ass!
Who do you think you are?!
He thinks he's Rambo.
Rambo...
...is a pussy.
What do you know, it's snowing!
Anybody want to get high?
DEPUTY:
I'll be damned!
Not bad for a city guy.
PERRET:
Ray Tango.
He's done it to us again.
If it isn't Tango, it's Cash.
Tango and Cash!
Cash and Tango!
These two cops are driving me crazy.
We must do something about this.
I agree. I would like
to handle this myself, Mr. Perret.
No, we will handle it.
No.
Not that way.
I have something else in mind.
BO Y:
Hey, Cash!
Armani with a badge!
(CAR STARTS)
Look out!
CASH:
Police business!
MAN:
This is my car!
Move!
MAN:
What are you doing to my car?!
Son of a bitch!
What's wrong?
Got a headache?
You crazy!
What did you do with my car?!
I believe in perestroika!
Welcome to America!
DETECTIVE:
Tango, I saw your picture in the paper.
OFFICER:
Ray, look at this.
Blind luck!
OFFICER: Catherine's in your office.
TANGO: That's great!
TANGO:
You just don't take off...
...on the spur of the moment. It's...
CATHERINE:
What?
Illogical?
- Very!
- It's not that big a deal.
I'll be gone a month or two.
It takes that long to build a house,
not take a vacation.
A dance tour is not a vacation!
I just want to get away.
You have all you need in this town.
Grime, crime and slime.
No, thanks. I 'd rather go.
Okay, but give me the phone numbers
so I can reach you.
Why don't I call you?
Why don't you call me?
Catherine, if you feel stressed,
don't run away.
Stay and we'll deal with this together.
Don't make me feel guilty.
I just need some time alone, okay?
I promise, Lieutenant,
to be a good girl.
There it is!
The key word.
"Good."
You're telling me you'll be good
because you know...
...automatically, I think you'll be bad.
Yes?
What's a margin call?
Why?
Your stockbroker's on line 3.
Don't leave.
Hold on.
I have a plane to catch.
Catherine, don't go.
Think positive.
Shit!
Harvey, it's me.
OFFICER: It's good you wore a vest.
CASH: Hardly needed it with these.
CASH:
Half-Ioad soft lead slugs.
This guy was really sloppy.
Look at this.
This shirt cost $9.
Get me a new vest, okay?
Whoa, pizza!
Who was fucking with my gun?
The sight's shifted.
DETECTIVE: Maybe you dropped it.
CASH: I didn't drop it.
CASH:
Captain!
Get anything out of him?
No, he doesn't speak English.
Our interpreter says he wants a lawyer.
Let me question him.
The guy who just tried
to blow you away? Forget it!
HOLMES:
Stay away from him, Gabe.
CASH:
Hi.
So, you don't know any English?
I don't know Chinese, so we'll have to
give you a crash course.
But I got a feeling
you'll be a quick learner.
Come here. Sit down.
This is lesson number one.
The next lessons get harder.
Who hired you?
I think he's one of Quan's men.
I don't know his name.
I swear!
Look at that, flattop.
You're speaking like a native already.
OFFICER: What is this?
CASH: English 101.
Your scumbag lawyer
won't be here for a while.
Is there anything you want to share?
A deal. Tonight.
...Front Street. 9:00.
Very good.
My compliments.
Pretty good for your first lesson.
Don't forget to wash your hands.
SCHROEDER:
Ray?
There's a big bust going down,
TANGO: Is that reliable?
SCHROEDER: Yes. A phone tap.
TANGO: Fantastic.
SCHROEDER: What is this?
SCHROEDER: Downtown clown
versus Beverly Hills wop.
- All the news that's fit to print.
- I don't get you.
You make a shitload of money.
Why do you do this?
Action.
Good old American action.
If you want to stare death in the eye,
get married.
Is that a proposal?
PERRET:
Gabriel Cash.
How many millions?
How many?
How many this time?
PERRET:
Oh, God!
PERRET:
Ray Tango!
PERRET:
He loves to dance.
PERRET:
He waltzes in and takes all my drugs...
...and then Tangos out again.
I've had enough.
Too much television...
...can hurt your eyes.
Now do you see why we can't kill them?
No.
LOPEZ:
I do not see.
It would be much quicker.
And easier.
Quicker...
...and easier.
That's how you make a cake.
Or clean a toilet bowl, or shop...
...by mail.
But it's not how to run a
multi-million-dollar business like ours.
Mr. Quan.
On the east side...
...your part of the city...
...Gabriel Cash...
...has cost me $60 million...
...including guns, drugs and other
enterprises. On the west side...
...Mr. Lopez...
...Ray Tango...
...has cost me even more.
Two little mice...
...and so much damage.
But if we kill them,
we risk all-out war with the police.
They're heroes already.
Why make martyrs of them?
Instead of death...
...we have a game.
A game that only we can win.
Within two weeks...
...I will take delivery of the largest
shipment of weapons that...
...we have ever handled.
Within that time...
...Tango...
...and Cash...
...will be safely tucked away...
...behind bars.
Aren't they beautiful?
(NOISE)
(NOISE)
You almost got yourself killed, pal.
It's the other way around.
I pull this trigger,
your throat's hanging off that wall.
Pull that trigger,
I'll blow you in half.
You never had a chance
to hit me with that gun.
Not this one.
You know me?
You're L.A.'s second-best cop.
I heard the same about you.
- Stay off my case.
- Your case?
I've been on it 3 months.
Then you're stupid. I've been on it
- Stay off my case.
- Nice tie!
How do you want to do this?
I'll go first. Cover me on three.
One.
- Two.
- Three.
Freak!
What's the score?
My turn.
TANGO:
Don't move!
Don't move your hands.
CASH:
His hands aren't going anywhere.
CASH:
Do the honors.
He's wired.
CASH:
This is all wrong!
TANGO: You ought to be a cop.
CASH: Did you expect this?
No, I didn't,
and I didn't expect you, either.
Why is he wired?
(CASH OVER SPEAKER) Got me.
Good luck getting anything out of him.
I'm gone. Ciao, babe.
(GLASS BREAKS)
DAVIS:
Drop your weapons!
CASH: Freeze!
TANGO: We're cops!
Wait! We're on the same team!
Just read this, damn it!
I'm going to blow
both your fucking brains out!
CASH: No problem.
TANGO: I'm convinced.
TANGO:
He's hysterical.
TANGO: I'd like a receipt for that.
CASH: Me too.
CASH:
We can talk about this.
CASH:
That's my gun.
TANGO:
What's it doing here?
That gun was in my locker.
WYLER:
It's not your gun now!
It's evidence.
TANGO: Why's your gun here?
CASH: They stole it.
Tell me what you did.
I don't know this man.
I didn't come with him.
So with your permission,
I'll be leaving. Ciao.
DAVIS: You didn't come with him,
but you're leaving with him.
You're making a mistake.
You're going down for this.
WYLER:
Get these bastards out of here!
Now!
- You're bad karma.
- I hope you got a good lawyer.
Perret says use this tape.
- Did Tango shoot a federal officer?
- No comment.
Was Cash there too?
No comment.
SCHROEDER:
What do they have?
They got a.380
with Cash's fingerprints.
They think it's the murder weapon.
Ballistics is checking it.
They were at the scene of the crime.
No one was seen coming or going.
What else?
The tape is ready.
What tape?
TANGO: Show us the money.
AGENT: It's in the suitcase.
CASH: Open it.
AGENT: It's all there.
AGENT: Count it if you want to.
TANGO: We want to.
AGENT:
Where's the stuff?
CASH: Right here.
Direct from the police lockup.
AGENT:
You know, I like dealing with cops.
AGENT: It restores my low opinion
of human nature.
CASH:
In that case, you'll love this.
(GUNSHOT ON TAPE)
FEMALE NEWSCASTER: Lts. Tango
and Cash, highly-decorated officers...
... go on trial today...
... for slaying an undercover agent
during a sting operation.
MALE NEWSCASTER:
Tango and Cash insist...
... they are victims of a
setup by criminal figures...
... aimed at taking the two cops
out of action.
FEMALE NEWSCASTER: Expert witnesses
will lead off the prosecution 's case.
PROSECUTOR:
Mr. Skinner, you've heard the tapes.
Can you make a judgment
about its authenticity?
I have no reason to believe
it isn't genuine.
NOLAN:
How did you test this tape?
SKINNER:
I took samples of the suspects...
...comparing them to the tape
with an oscilloscope.
They matched.
When this is over, remind me
to rip his tongue out.
With a tow truck.
When I entered the premises,
I saw the two suspects, the guns...
...the money, the drugs, the dead body.
WYLER:
When those guys showed up...
...I thought, it's all gone sour.
I was going to go and clear
everything up...
...when they killed him.
When this is over,
let's pay Jabba the Hutt a visit.
I 'll bring the chain saw.
I'll bring the beer.
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Detective Cash assaulted me.
He put a chair on me and sat on it.
I couldn't find a piano.
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
This bastard can speak English!
The squarecrow can talk!
Squarecrow?
What do you call it?
FEMALE NEWSCASTER: As attorneys for
Tango and Cash left the courtroom...
... their mood can only
be described as grim.
They face an uphill battle...
... if not an impossible one.
NOLAN: Ray, somebody set you up good.
I feel we should cop a plea.
You can guarantee minimum security?
Absolutely. That will be the deal.
Does Cash's attorney agree?
If he's smart he does.
I want to talk to Cash.
I need to work on my
statement for the court.
What do you want?
First, to say I'm not fond of your kind.
What kind is that?
You're a glory hound and a hot dog.
CASH:
That stings.
Tell me when the critique is over.
It's over.
- My lawyer wants me to cop a plea.
- Mine too. 18 months.
Lompoc Country Club.
The gym opens at 5 a.m.
You can start pumping early.
- Who set us up?
- I don't know.
I got a lot of admirers. You?
A few.
Look, if we cop a plea,
we cop it together.
You mean that your lawyer
wanted you to make a deal...
...but you didn't want to leave this
glory hound holding the bag, right?
- Right.
- What a generous guy!
TANGO: I'll make the statement.
CASH: I will.
TANGO:
No way. You'll screw it up.
CASH: When's your birthday?
When were you born?
TANGO: Why?
CASH: Day and month.
TANGO: You want to do my horoscope?
CASH: Just give me the month.
- May.
- February.
I got seniority.
I'll make the statement.
August 16.
I read your records. That's when you
were hatched. August 16.
I got seniority.
BAILIFF:
All rise.
The court is now in session.
The Honorable
Judge McCormack presiding.
Be seated.
NOLAN:
Your Honor.
The defendants wish
to change their plea.
JUDGE:
Order!
Very well, counselor.
What is the plea?
Your Honor, may I approach the bench?
Proceed, Mr. Tango.
It's okay.
Your Honor, I've been
a policeman for 12 years.
I think it's the best organization
in the country.
I've been told I'm too aggressive
in capturing criminals.
If that is a sin...
...I'm guilty.
I've always worked with good cops.
You are.
They're doing a tough job.
I only hope that with this trial,
the whole department...
...is not judged by what has transpired.
Thank you.
Not bad.
JUDGE:
Have you anything to add, Mr. Cash?
CASH: Yeah.
TANGO: No!
Mr. Tango has spoken very eloquently.
I wish I could be as forgiving.
But I can't, because...
...this whole thing...
...fucking sucks!
This is a pile of shit!
Your Honor!
Order!
Order!
JUDGE:
Be seated, Mr. Cash.
NOLAN: Your Honor, the defendants
wish to plead no contest...
...to a charge of
voluntary manslaughter.
This is part of an agreement?
PROSECUTOR: Yes. The state
recommends a sentence...
...of not more than 18 months
in a minimum-security facility.
JUDGE: Mr. Cash, Mr. Tango, do you
enter this plea of your own free will?
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
JUDGE: The agreement is
acceptable to the court.
The defense and the state
will deliver the proper documentation.
Court is adjourned.
PERRET: Now that Tango and Cash
are behind bars...
...you needn't be afraid anymore.
What's wrong, gentlemen?
You don't share my enthusiasm.
Mr. Perret, I am sorry...
...but I cannot appreciate
these games you keep playing.
QUAN:
Forgive me for asking, Mr. Perret...
...but what happens in 18 months
when they get out?
Use your imagination.
What makes you think
they'll ever get out again?
Now go take care of your business.
I got a feeling this is
going to be a great year.
CASH:
Ever hear of shock absorbers?
Welcome to Club Fed.
TANGO:
What a vacation!
GUARD:
End of the line. Get out.
GUARD:
You, this way!
TANGO:
What do you have to say now, genius?
I don't think there's
a golf course here.
Make yourselves
at home sweet home, boys.
CASH:
This is a mistake, right?
TANGO:
My underwear is riding into my throat.
They're not there?!
They were on the bus!
I'm trying to trace them.
They were transferred
off the bus near Victorville.
We got to find them.
CASH:
Your underwear problem is solved.
TANGO: I noticed. You can stop
holding in your stomach.
CASH: Come on! Somebody bribed the
prison board! That's why we're here!
They're as crooked as
everybody else in this deal.
I'll tell you one thing.
Whoever set us up is fucking connected.
Do you think it's Quan?
Thanks.
No, wait! I got it!
It's Lopez!
Lopez! Follow me through here.
Lopez has a guy pretend
to try and kill me...
...and claim that Quan hired him.
He feeds me bogus information
about the setup.
Lopez figures, no matter what,
I'll think it was Quan.
All the time it's Lopez,
and now I know it.
What do you think?
That with your I.Q., you're unarmed
and still very dangerous.
If you're so smart, tell me
who set us up, Sherlock Holmes.
- I don't know yet.
- You don't know shit!
What are you doing?
Relax.
Soap.
Don't flatter yourself.
Peewee.
I don't know you that well.
Don't worry.
Someday the other one will drop.
You just keep talking, tripod!
Sure, Minnie Mouse!
By the way...
...I bet they stick us
in the general population.
They don't put cops
in general population.
CASH: Never put cops in
general population, huh?
Cash, I'll light your fucking bowels!
I'll stick brown sugar up your ass!
CASH:
Shit, I put half these guys away.
Tango, you're going to be my bitch!
I'll kick your fucking ass!
TANGO:
You know what I hate?
TANGO: Litter.
CASH: Goddamn it!
CASH:
I forgot the marshmallows.
CASH: I don't think rehabilitation
is working here.
TANGO:
They're just misunderstood.
FACE:
Cops!
Bring them to me!
Bring them to me!
Cops! Cops!
Bring them here!
Come here!
I want to talk to you.
Hey, punk!
When I get out of here,
I'll tear you a new ass.
You know Captain Dynaball here?
I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.
If you need me, me and my ass
will be in the neighborhood.
FACE:
You fucking pig! It's over for you!
You're going to be very popular here.
Funny, I don't see
your fan club, either.
PRISONER:
That crapper is mine!
And what am I supposed to use?
I don't give a shit!
Just don't use that.
Okay, bud. We're going to
get one thing straight right now.
That is yours!
Would you mind stopping that?
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
I'm not afraid of you.
See that?
I killed him.
Congratulations.
He was my best friend.
Crazy people fear no one.
TANGO: Look at that.
Sugar is up. I cannot believe this!
(PRISONER SNORES)
(PRISONER FARTS)
PRISONER 1:
Let's dance, Tango!
PRISONER 2:
Come on, Cash!
PRISONER 3:
Get the bag on him!
Kill him!
Kill the fucker!
PRISONER 1:
You're dead meat, Tango!
TANGO:
They got you?
What's it look like?
CASH:
Let me guess.
The welcoming committee.
TANGO:
Either that or a surprise party.
CASH:
Don't make a move.
We'll talk our way out.
TANGO:
I doubt they're into small talk.
If we panic, we're history.
PERRET:
The infamous...
...Cash and Tango.
Dishonored, imprisoned.
A shameful fall from glory!
Who are you?
Just think of me as somebody who...
...doesn't like you much.
The surprise party is out.
Shit! That's the guy
I followed to the setup.
Don't panic.
REQUIN: Tarty Tango!
You're a pretty boy, aren't you?
I'm panicking.
How would you like me
to change it for you?
- I wouldn't.
- How about you?
REQUIN:
Maybe you first.
Don't panic.
I'll cut your throat,
yank your tongue out the hole...
...and tie it in a Windsor knot.
- I don't wear ties.
- Brave boy!
You want to cut my throat?!
Go ahead!
You want to cut off my head?
You can bowl with it!
Just don't let him do it!
I don't want to get killed...
...by this limey jerk-off!
I want to get killed
by an American jerk-off!
You wanker!
PERRET:
Put it away for now.
Just for now.
Some of your other friends
want to say hello first.
TANGO:
What are you doing?
- Buying time.
- For what?
I don't know yet.
Shit, it's Conan.
CASH: We'll get FUBAR now.
TANGO: What's FUBAR?
CASH:
You'll see.
Real bad-ass cops!
You don't look so tough now.
Do you, you fuck?!
He means you.
FACE:
This pig and his cop friends...
...broke my ribs, my leg and my jaw.
You broke that jaw?
He deserved it.
CASH:
Why did you do that?
Why? I was having a bad day!
CASH:
Like now?
TANGO:
Don't panic!
PERRET:
Rats in a maze...
...men...
...in a cage.
Place your bets!
Which bloke survives?
REQUIN:
Who's brave?
Who fries first?
PRISONER:
Cook, you bastard!
Tango, you got any family?
Yeah. You?
I go steady with an alimony check.
PERRET:
First, Mr. Cash.
TANGO:
No, don't do it.
Cash!
Cash!
Fuck you.
Tango?
SOKOWSKl:
Get them down!
GUARD:
Off the scaffold!
Lock this place down!
CASH:
Shit!
TANGO:
You fight this one. I'm burned out.
SOKOWSKl:
You look like hell, Cash.
CASH:
Matt, is it really you?
SOKOWSKl:
It is.
CASH: Am I glad to see you!
TANGO: Cash!
My arm.
TANGO: Who's he?
SOKOWSKl: Assistant warden.
My C.O. When I was a rookie.
SOKOWSKl:
You guys are in deep shit.
Really?
SOKOWSKl:
Who set you up?
I think we just met him.
If this creep wants us dead so bad,
why doesn't he shoot us?
Why play this game?
TANGO:
He has a boring nightlife.
CASH: How'd he get in?
SOKOWSKl: Anything can happen here.
All you need is cash.
We have the best guards money can buy.
You got the bucks,
you get what you need.
Once you're back in
general population, they'll nail you.
You got only one choice: Escape.
Escape?
Yeah.
TANGO:
I'll get a spoon and start tunneling...
...and you can chew through the bars.
This is bullshit!
What's with him?
He's upset. He misses his wardrobe.
CASH:
What do we do?
Listen, I got a plan worked out.
We trust him?
We've known each other 15 years.
- We trusted our lawyers.
- And the judge.
And that got us nowhere.
Now trust me.
Now that is a risky proposition.
SOKOWSKl:
I got a present for you.
CASH:
You're unbelievable!
I do miss my wardrobe.
SOKOWSKl:
This is the ventilation system.
Enter it from
the utility shaft in the yard.
This main ventilation shaft
leads beyond the wall.
I can shut down one fan
and leave this door unlocked.
I'll get you the right work detail
and leave tools at the shaft.
This way looks faster.
SOKOWSKl: No, it's longer.
CASH: Let's stick to plan A.
SOKOWSKl:
Let's get you to the infirmary.
Why your plan A?
It's better than your plan B,
which you don't even have.
TANGO:
Not yet, but I will.
My partner in pain.
Sokowski got us trash detail. Let's go.
Whoopee! Race you to the dumpster.
It's set for now. Come on.
Negative.
- What?
- I'm not going.
Did you have a brain meltdown?
Look, I have an aversion
to getting FUBAR.
- What's FUBAR?
- "Fucked up beyond all recognition."
I don't trust Sokowski!
He's a cop, for chrissake!
What's this?
My fiance, Slinky.
TANGO:
Up, Slinky.
TANGO:
Let's see how business is.
You are one mistrustful,
maladjusted human fucking being!
I love you too.
I'm not coming back for you.
You're making a big mistake.
You don't have to.
Hope you make it, Cash.
GUARD:
Let's go, you're late!
I hope you and Cousin It...
...are very happy together...
...and raise a beautiful litter.
Ciao.
Ciao.
You're half an hour late, asshole!
I'm doing my best, boss.
Matt!
(DOGS BARK)
There he is!
FACE:
Let's go!
FACE:
Out of my way!
CASH: What are you doing here?
TANGO: I got Ionely.
I can't hold it all day!
(GUNSHOTS)
Shit!
Come on, Cash!
CASH:
This way!
TANGO:
Move it!
TANGO: Your friend Matt
waltzed you into a trap!
How could you be so stupid?
Matt's dead.
They cut his throat ear to ear.
TANGO:
Ponytail!
This is the way.
CASH: You'll like this.
It's the best ride in the park.
This way!
TANGO: Know where you're going?
CASH: Absolutely.
TANGO: You know where you're going?
CASH: Yes, exactly!
TANGO:
Then get your ass up there!
TANGO:
Come on!
TANGO: This is the only way?
CASH: No.
We can go back.
Let's go!
CASH:
This way!
- You sure this is the way?
- Exactly!
GUARD:
Let's go! Sector 4!
CASH: Tango!
TANGO: What?
CASH:
Don't touch those wires.
Thanks.
TANGO: Know what?
CASH: What?
I'm real tired of electricity.
Nag, nag, nag!
- Now what?
- No problem.
Slide down those wires
and we're home free.
That's your plan?
Yeah.
We'll fry.
You know anything about electricity?
If you only touch one wire
and don't touch the ground, you're safe.
Right?
I don't know.
Me either.
I owe you from back there.
So you can go first.
- You'd still owe me.
- I knew you'd say that.
If I don't make it, will you even try?
Depends how close you get.
FACE:
What's wrong?
Come on, dog!
Come on, dog! Heel!
GUARD:
Move it!
Come on, Tango!
Come on!
Speak, doggy!
TANGO:
That was fun.
CASH: Jesus Christ! What did you do,
stop for coffee and Danish?
I hate Danish.
We have to get out of here.
- Nice doing time with you.
- Especially in the shower.
If it gets too hot in the streets...
...go to the Cleopatra Club.
Ask for Catherine.
- She'll know where I am.
- Got it!
Hey, Ray!
I really do owe you one.
REQUIN:
Quan and Lopez on line one.
Put them on.
Gentlemen, I've already heard
about the escape.
Mr. Perret...
...this is most disturbing.
We are being threatened by two maniacs.
I think we must take some action.
There you go thinking again.
That'll be the cause of your downfall.
Try to control your fear.
These men are convicted killers
and fugitives.
They won't last long on the outside.
Mr. Perret, we cannot rely
on the police. I insist...
Don't insist!
Insistent people make me angry.
Everything is under control.
Cover your tracks.
You're beautiful!
OWEN:
Hope they're all right.
(FEMALE VOICE OVER SPEAKER)
Attention, commencing live fire test.
Owen.
I knew you'd come here.
How'd you get out?
I need to change clothes.
Sure, sure.
We have the same taste in clothes.
Do you need a special weapon?
I need a big gun.
Are those big enough?
Perfect.
I always knew we had
the same taste in weaponry.
OWEN: Check out my new invention
in senior citizen home protection.
Well, you know,
the gun boots are great.
CASH:
See you, buddy.
(EXPLOSION)
Knock, knock.
From the look of your diet,
you're not counting calories.
Too busy counting the money
you got for setting us up?!
I didn't set you up.
Am I judging you unfairly?
Hell, yes! I had nothing to do with it!
Nothing to do with it?
Can we be frank?
You're looking anemic.
You need a little iron in your diet.
You switched those weapons...
...and planted the murder weapon
at the scene, didn't you?
They paid me.
Who?
I don't know.
You FBI guys are brainy.
Think, think!
An Englishman with red hair.
And a ponytail.
"You're going down for this."
Remember those lyrics?
But you're going down.
It doesn't matter. They want me dead.
My life isn't worth shit.
That's true. But I need you anyway.
Take me in! I'll tell them
all I know! We'll help each other.
I hope you got paid well, Wyler.
Want to split it?
SKINNER:
Who are you?!
Why are you here?
Who the hell do you think you are?
Excuse me!
Who hired you?
Lucky it's soundproof. Nobody will
hear me beating the truth out of you.
You've got all my greatest hits.
And Tango's.
You put together a nice compilation.
He said he'd kill me.
- Who?
- He didn't say.
I swear!
And you got to authenticate
your own work.
I am the foremost expert.
Not for long if you keep
using this junky equipment.
It's state-of-the-art equipment.
What do you want to know?!
- How were you contacted?
- By phone.
- How'd he get the tape?
- By mail.
I forgot the address.
But I recorded the conversation.
- I can play it for you.
- Great!
TANGO:
Captain Schroeder, please.
He has to be there.
Would you check?
Tell him his favorite stockbroker
is back in town.
DOORMAN: $5 cover charge.
CASH: Sure.
CASH: Catherine here?
WAITRESS: Who?
Don't know her.
Catherine here tonight?
We have lots of Catherines.
CATHERINE:
Joe! Sticks!
CUSTOMER: Where's my beer?
JOE: You're distracting me.
CAPTAIN:
Cover that exit. Come with me.
CAPTAIN:
What do you think you're doing?
Hold it.
DANCER: Kiki, nice work.
CASH: Wait.
I'm Catherine.
Only one person calls me that.
Ray Tango said you could
help me find him.
I haven't seen Ray lately.
There's a police convention out there.
Is there someplace else we can talk?
Is he okay?
Not if I don't get out of here.
Through the alley.
They'll cover it.
Any other ideas?
Hey, Elvis!
What size are you?
CAPTAIN:
Hold it.
DETECTIVE:
Let's have a look.
Something wrong?
Let's go, Lynn!
Hey, Red.
Aerobics instructor?
Kiki?
Get your hands off my property.
OFFICER:
Any chance of a three-way?
OFFICER:
Dykes on bikes.
CASH:
So you knew who I was all along.
CATHERINE: You and Ray have gotten
lots of press lately.
CASH:
I bet.
We were set up good!
CATHERINE: I know. Ray couldn't have
done all the things he's accused of.
You I'm not so sure about.
God, how did this happen?
Sliding off a high-tension wire
into pine trees at 40 mph...
...tends to slip a disk or two.
Maybe we can slip it back in.
- How's that?
- Are you kidding?
Six or seven more hours
of this and I'll be fine.
CASH:
What's the story with you and Ray?
What do you mean?
You know.
Do you love him? Hate him?
None of the above?
CATHERINE:
I love him.
You do?
Of course. He loves me too.
He just has a funny way of showing it.
You guys see a lot of each other?
He comes and goes as he pleases.
That's insensitive.
But I live my own life.
Good for you.
Lower.
CASH: Kiki?
CATHERINE: Yeah?
CATHERINE:
Lower?
CASH:
Harder.
CATHERINE:
I'll move it around real slow.
CASH: Don't stop.
CATHERINE: I can do this all night.
CASH:
Prove it.
Faster.
CATHERINE:
More?
CASH: Deeper.
CATHERINE: My God!
CATHERINE: I can feel it going in!
CASH: Harder!
It's almost in!
CASH:
God! It's all the way in!
TANGO:
Hey, sleazebag!
SCHROEDER:
Ray?
Captain?
Do you screen all your guests?
Sorry.
Freeze! Drop the duck!
Tango?
Great police work!
Way to stay on top of it, Cash!
TANGO: What are you doing?
CASH: Nice to see you too.
You almost nailed your captain.
At least I saw him!
What were you doing in there?
I was getting ready to make my move.
- Your girlfriend?
- My sister!
My what?
My sister.
That's great! I don't mean that.
I know it looks bad.
I never deliberately
punched out anyone in my life.
But I'll hammer you into the lawn.
CATHERINE:
Don't you know how to use a doorbell?
Just stick out your finger and push.
Isn't this 125 Orange Grove Street?
It's my place.
I have some rights in my own place!
It's my roof, my house,
and I let you dwell here.
I pay rent!
TANGO: It's late.
CATHERINE: Check your mail!
In Tango's defense,
he has been in prison.
Excuse me, my pantyhose
are riding into the unknown.
TANGO:
Way up in the unknown.
Tell me one thing, seriously.
What were you doing on the couch
with Queen-for-a-Day?
None of your business.
Catherine...
She got the brains and the looks.
How do you figure it?
I don't.
- Smoke?
- No.
All right, that's it!
Are you running us in?
No, but I can only keep the department
off your backs for 24 hours.
The feds are on the case!
Slip into something a little more butch.
Get rid of Daffy Duck
and clear your names.
Already started.
What's that?
This tape will clear our names.
Compliments of the forger.
TANGO:
Skinner?
Yeah. So what have you got?
A quarter to four.
Start here.
We ID'd that creep from the warehouse.
Ponytail?
His name's Requin.
Look him up.
The address is right there.
You got 24 hours to find the guy
who set you up.
CASH: When's the clock start?
SCHROEDER: 5 minutes ago.
Catherine...
Honestly...
...what did you do
with the Elephant Man?
Please.
Come in the house. Change clothes.
TANGO:
You'll make a very ugly bride someday.
CASH:
Are you proposing?
CATHERINE: Blue one's nice.
TANGO: Blue it is!
Sorry about my behavior tonight.
I want you to be okay.
I'm okay.
I can't believe it.
How did you get out of prison?
Cash had a friend on the inside.
Sorry, I had nowhere to go but here.
Where else are you supposed to go?
TANGO: The North Pole?
CATHERINE: Seriously, what'll you do?
Maybe you should turn yourself in.
Talk to the press.
TANGO: How's the career at the club?
CATHERINE: That's great!
You're being hunted
and you worry about my dancing?
I'm not worried.
If you need a little extra cash,
I can buy you a bond or something.
It's seven and a quarter yield.
Big money.
You help too much.
No, I don't.
I work so much,
I don't get a chance to see you.
CATHERINE:
Don't feel guilty.
I love you.
Put her there.
TANGO:
Push 'em back, way back!
I've got to go.
I can't put you in jeopardy.
What?
I have filth and scum to deal with.
I'm here!
See?
Let's go.
See you.
CASH: Mind if I talk to her?
TANGO: No.
I want to say I had a wonderful time...
...until Captain Fantastic leaped in
and smashed through your door.
When this is straightened out,
could we get together again?
Yeah, that would be nice.
We could go to the ballpark...
Can I talk to you?
I don't think my sister is your type.
Easy, mate.
Come on.
REQUIN: I expected you.
Ponytails are out this season.
How are you, Cash?
Getting better by the second.
- Party on the roof.
- Can I invite Mr. Potato Head?
Wouldn't be a party without him!
CASH:
Plan A.
TANGO:
Fun party!
Thanks. Requin, it's a hell of a view!
Who pulls your strings?!
Piss off! Bollocks to plan A!
I like this.
The view's great up here!
What'd he say?
Plan A's a loser.
Hold on. Give me a name, death breath,
or you'll end up in a baggie!
Up yours, asshole!
You ain't worth a toss.
Drop me.
REQUIN:
Do it!
Plan A's a loser.
Bigtime! Go to plan B.
You got one?
Hiroshima. Ring a bell?
Can we talk?
Not now, I'm busy.
Isn't this a little radical?
What?
Blowing a man's head off
with a hand grenade is a touch much.
You got your way, I got mine.
I'm glad you don't want to talk.
He'll talk if I shoot him in the leg.
I want all of him!
Maybe he doesn't know anything.
- I don't care!
- What?
You're a cop!
I was a cop! But we're on the run
because of this dirtbag!
It's payback!
That's enough!
I heard about you.
You're a Section 8.
I didn't believe that weird bullshit...
...but you're for real!
If you don't want to get sticky,
get back...
...Jack.
You got it, sicko.
You blew it, pal. He's out of control
and I can't stop him.
I'm not going down for this.
I'm gone!
So long!
You got my vote for
Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole!
You really do look like shit
in a ponytail.
TANGO:
No. I'm sorry.
Bye-bye, birdy. Bye, baby!
TANGO:
I don't want to hear it.
Perret! You want Yves Perret!
CASH:
Who's he?
The bloke with me in prison.
TANGO: Where's he now?
REQUIN: The desert. Ryko Airfield.
Think it's true?
It's not raining and he's in a puddle.
TANGO:
Disgusting.
You fell for the oldest routine
in the book. Bad cop...
Worse cop!
You sleep with my sister?
Unbelievable!
Did you two bump uglies?
I was so drunk, I don't remember.
Come on, worse cop, we're late.
My contribution to birth control.
REQUIN:
Bloody hell!
Bloody dud.
TANGO: What about my sister?
CASH: It's a free country.
TANGO: Meaning?
CASH: Everyone is free.
CASH:
And your sister is very free.
TANGO:
I'll kill you.
Oh, my God!
OWEN:
Double-armored, bulletproof glazing.
Transfer case has torque splitting.
It'll see 60 in 51/2 seconds
and pull high-tens in the quarter.
What is that?
That is an RV from hell.
Care to join me?
CASH: So?
TANGO: I'm impressed.
CASH: Very impressed?
TANGO: Very.
Does he have gray matter, or what?
Owen, gone! Home run!
This will go through a brick wall.
CASH: We are in business.
TANGO: That we are.
Do you know the firepower
we've got here?
This is a violent work of art!
TANGO:
Who holds the pink slip? Satan?
Take a look inside.
Didn't he invent your bazooka boots?
Owen has milliseconds of genius.
What's this?
Ultra-booster. It's nitrous oxide.
Meaning?
Who cares? We'll take it.
No, you can't
It's one of a kind, a prototype.
Trust us. We won't even scratch it.
We're fully insured.
Fully?
Run Perret through the computer.
Okay. I'll see what I can dig up.
- Cash?
- Yeah?
Is Owen family?
Maybe.
(OWEN OVER RADIO) Ryko Airfield was
abandoned 10 years ago.
It's in private hands now.
There's construction...
... but the main building
is a mile from the perimeter.
CASH:
Thanks, Owen.
Looks quiet.
This is insane.
Very insane.
Things are about to get bloody.
They could.
If one of us doesn't make it,
I want you to know that...
...you're the best cop I've worked with.
I want you to know something, Ray.
If you don't make it back and I do...
...I will date your sister.
I got nothing against you.
I don't want Catherine to get
that 2 a.m. Phone call...
...saying something's happened to you.
I don't want her to live like that.
Nothing will happen to me.
I'm charmed.
I'll tell you what. I'll stay away...
...until you give me your blessing.
Fair enough?
In that case...
...never.
Thought so.
CASH: Time to work.
Something's on the computer.
TANGO:
The information on Perret.
- We're at the location.
- And a very serious gate.
CASH: Is this place fortified?
OWEN: Don't know.
Use extreme caution.
- Cash?
- Yeah?
Listen to him.
Yes, Mommy.
My God!
Real subtle!
We're in!
(ALARM SOUNDS)
Let's get out!
(MACHINE GUNS FIRE)
Come on.
It looks like we're in a goddamn pit!
Come on!
TANGO:
To the right!
CASH:
Left!
CASH:
I'm going for it!
TANGO:
Real subtle!
Where'd you learn to drive?
CASH:
Stevie Wonder.
TANGO: We're on fire!
CASH: We're cooking now!
- It's a dead end!
- We're in a goddamn maze!
We're blocked!
He's playing with us!
Shit!
Come on!
Get the sons of bitches!
- Do you want the good news or bad news?
- The bad.
We're almost out of gas.
The good?
We're almost out of gas.
TANGO:
He must own a used car lot.
Take them!
All right! That's the last of them!
Home team!
- Behind you!
- What is that?!
Not the Welcome Wagon!
Bail!
What's that noise?
Don't worry.
A few speed bumps!
Let's get out of here!
I need a gun!
Are you holding out on me?
Why is yours bigger than mine?
Genetics, peewee.
(OWEN OVER RADIO) Why aren 't you guys
talking to me anymore? Say something.
CASH:
Perret has to be in there.
TANGO:
It's the only building left standing.
CASH:
Any chance he'll surrender?
Not likely.
Remember...
...use extreme caution.
Ciao.
CASH:
Nice collection.
TANGO:
Toys for tots.
CASH:
No more owes-ies. We're even.
TANGO: Why?
CASH: I just saved your life.
TANGO:
We'll discuss it later.
QUAN:
Let them come.
LOPEZ:
We are ready.
(ALARM SOUNDS)
CASH:
Bombs for tots.
(FEMALE VOICE OVER SPEAKER)
Facility destruct sequence...
... now engaged.
TANGO:
Somebody activated a bomb.
CASH:
Wonder who.
CASH: How do we stop it?
TANGO: We don't. We get Perret.
CASH:
Get me a toy too.
CASH:
We only got 11 minutes.
TANGO: The Raiders scored
But they had 3 time-outs.
Clip.
CASH:
Look out!
TANGO:
You okay?
CASH: Clean exit.
TANGO: You're lucky.
CASH: I've been shot before.
Never felt lucky about it.
TANGO:
Stop complaining.
TANGO: Right side.
CASH: Got it.
TANGO: Some hobby!
CASH: We got our own TV show.
Let's get out.
REQUIN:
Not yet. Game's just starting.
REQUIN:
Over here.
Let her go!
All right, Requin.
You want me? You got me.
I got you both now.
REQUIN:
Two for the price of one.
Pretty boy's trying to
get the drop on me.
Drop your fucking gun
or I'll drop sister here!
Drop your gun, Cash.
I can take him.
Drop your goddamn gun!
I drop it...
...and we're both dead and you know it.
If you don't drop it, we all go up.
Recognize plan B?
REQUIN:
She fancies me.
Might even lose
her head over me. Know what I mean?
You don't know my mate here.
He's looking forward
to kicking your brains in.
Ain't you?
Well, pretty boy...
...I'd like you to watch me...
...pleasure your sister slow and easy.
But I only got a few minutes
to carve you up!
We never talked about plan C, asshole.
FUBAR. Big time.
Find Catherine.
PERRET: When the Great Scorer comes to
write against your name, He'll mark...
...not that you won or lost...
...but how you played the game.
What bullshit!
This game has cost me!
I'll blow him into the ozone.
Know which one?
I do.
I leave you with this thought.
All you need is a gun.
Got it.
So do I.
Let's take him alive.
Kneecaps.
One...
- My sights are off.
- Mine too.
Cash, get the door!
Hurry!
- She okay?
- Yeah.
How'd you know who to shoot?
The ring.
No, the monogram.
It was reversed.
- What about the ring?
- On the wrong hand.
Are we clever or what?
Let's blow this place.
TANGO: 20 seconds, Cash.
There's a lot more pollution in the
sky tonight and it's called Perret.
Kiki, are you okay?
I'm okay, I'm just worried about you.
CASH: Thanks. I'll lose my arm
because I saved him.
Catherine, it's a scratch.
Cash, you got sloppy and stumbled.
CASH:
Sloppy? I took that hit for you!
After all I've done for you,
you're still ungrateful.
For me?
This is no time to argue.
He can't accept that he's
the number two cop.
He can't handle it.
Dream on.
You got your version, I got the truth.
Admit that you guys work well together.
No matter what you say, Ray...
...I've at least earned the right
to date your sister.
Over my dead body.
Deal.

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