Is he a loverboy?

Guys ... they can be very sweet. But also pretend ... Butterflies in your stomach is fun, but it can
also end differently!
Do this test!

1. What was your first impression of this boy?

a. Tough, macho like ...

b. Nice, according to my friends, he is very nice

c. He seems to be quite fake with me ..

2. Does he have expensive items / clothes without knowing how he arrives?

a. Actually. All brand clothing while he does not even have a job.

b. That is not too bad. he did not even have enough money for a drink at the bar
haha!

c. No idea, he did offer me money

3. Can he be found in red light districts? (parking places with (squat) buildings etc.)

a. Yes, he was in a car with some friends in a parking lot. I felt looked at.

b. He took me there sometimes, I found this really scary .. I had expected a nicer
place.

c. No, whether he is at home, or with his friends in the pub, or with me lol!

4. Has he lied to or manipulated you? (eg: You can do this for me after all I've done for
you)?

a. No, he really would never do that. Maybe he would ever think of an excuse, but
no more like that.

b. He is lying very often. He has regularly manipulated me

c. He manipulates me if he wants me to do something with his friends, and this is

mostly about sex with his friends.

Page 1
5. Has he threatened by force?

a. Yes

b. No! What are these questions for ?!

c. 1 Times, but he was drunk / had used drugs ..

6. Does he demand that you go to bed with his friends?

a. He has tried this once

b. No, I'm only his!

c. Yes, I do this for him too. I'm afraid of him.

7. Does he burn between you and your friends and / or parents?

a. Yes, according to him, my friends and parents are bad.

b. He wants me to spend my life alone with him.

c. No, he can find it very well with them.

8. How was your 1st time?

a. Not nice. He went beyond my limits, and he said something strange: "You have to
get used to it."

b. That was very nice. Not anymore :'(

c. He waits until I want / Very nice and it still is

9. How does he treat you to others?

a. Is there, if I have done what he wanted from me, he is nice .. that's why I do
everything for him.

b. He then kicks me into the ground / Does overly nice while it is apparent.

c. As always, of course, only slightly less slick: P

10. Does he claim you (excessive calling, stalking, waiting)?

a. Sometimes when I run for him, because I really did not want to go to bed with a
man ...

b. No O_O!

Page 2
 c. I do not know, sometimes with his friends, but this can also be a coincidence ...
and I always keep my phone on ...

11. Did he hit you?

a. Just a pat on the back if it is not all along.

b. He threatened to hit me.

c. So often, that's why I do everything he says.

12. Is he talking about money problems?

a. Ah no man! Occasionally he has 1 euro too short hihi

b. So often, very strange, he always has new clothes etc.

c. Yes now. He wants me to help him, but how do I not know (yet) / he wants me to
go to bed with his friend because he has debts there.

d. I do not know.

13. Is he always nice or ..?

a. Sometimes, when I do what he says he is sweet though! <3

b. Not anymore, he has become cold and bitter and scolds me.

c. Always, but sometimes he is just lame haha

What is a loverboy?

A loverboy is a young man who seduces a girl or boy into a (dependency) relationship to make
money. A loverboy affects the victim to go with men to bed for money, to transport drugs, for
large loans or telephone subscriptions to conclude, to commit thefts or to recruit other victims.
Also loverboys are active, both in the big cities and in the countryside. For example, young
people image approached at schools, stations, coffee shops, discotheques, shelter homes and
more and more via the Internet.

In addition, lover girls are used, girls who recruit girls.

Page 3
In principle, everyone can fall into the hands of a loverboy. The risk is greater for less olds with a
low level of intelligence, intense adolescent behavior, little self-esteem, little friends, an
overprotected upbringing or problems at home. Also vulnerable young people such as Single
Minor Asylum Seekers, Mentally Handicapped or young people there is an extra risk with a history
of sexual abuse.

Finally, not only girls, but more and more boys are victims of a loverboy.

How does a loverboy work?

The loverboy works extremely sophisticated. He is a born charmer, who is his slaughter-
sacrifice tempts with attention and gifts. Once the girl falls in love, a game follows of intimidation
and arbitrariness. He alternates his victim with feigned affection, threats and brute force. Under
the guise of 'true love' he demands all control over her and demands unconditional obedience
and loyalty.
He isolates her from her family and puts her in a position of complete dependency.
heath. Then he forces her into prostitution or another form of crime

the violence does not stop automatically

d. Loverboys do a lot of damage to victims and their environment. By punishment
and reward

to alternate and by (threatening to) violence makes a loverboy a girl or boy

emotionally dependent. Because of powerlessness, loneliness, hope for return of the
good time, shame and fear, a victim has the feeling of having no choice but to to
stay the loverboy. This is one reason why outside help is so important. To this form of
stopping violence requires your help

How do you recognize the signals in case of abuse by a loverboy?

The victim:

• has few friends, or the circle of friends suddenly changes

• deals with 'wrong' (criminal) boys

• truancy from school and school results go backwards

Page 4
 • suddenly shows different behavior

• is often behind the computer and behaves mysterious

• has multiple mobile numbers, is bad often called

• is suddenly a lot outside and stays for a long time away

• makes a lot of quarrel at home / does not arrive home on time / runs away from
home

• dress provocatively

• uses drugs or alcohol

• has a tattoo with a boysname

• is hunted / tense

• shows sexual cross-border behavior

• has a relationship in which there is intimidation or violence

• is strongly focused on relationships and is inclined to self-explanatory for another

• avoids topics about sex and eroticism to go

A loverboy:

• is a young man, often slightly older than it victim (20-30 years)

• has a low level of education, or is early stopped the training

• has a criminal past

• deals with 'wrong' (criminal) boys

• loves material display (designer clothing, latest mobile phone, car ownership)

• has multiple mobile numbers, is bad often called

• is a huge charmer with a smooth chat

• can occur as the ideal son-in-law or just set up the victim against the family

Tips for parents and carers:

• teach your child to be resilient

• discuss what a healthy relationship means

• talk about sexuality at a young age

Page 5
• pay attention to changing behavior at school, at home and with friends

• study the dangers of drugs and internet

• get to know your child's friend (s)

• do not crack your child's friend (s)

• continue to communicate / keep in touch

• do not blame yourself

• make it clear that your child is always welcome is no matter what happens

• only promise what you can make true

• Respect your child's decisions, even if you do not agree with it

• do not do anything behind your child's back, unless this is necessary due to acute
danger

• Enable the Domestic Violence Support Center

Tips for schools:

• organize information and training programs jects

• ensure a good relationship with the police and expert organizations

• use a good absenteeism policy and registration system

• keep a close eye on the schoolyard and the school environment (concierge,
camera monitoring, passes, etc.)

• ensure good contacts between teacher / mentor and students

• maintain good contacts with parent (s) / caretakers

• be alert to signals from students and discuss this

• never drop the boyfriend, because then you are crocheted the victim

• discuss what the counselor can do to do

• Enable the Domestic Violence Support Center

Page 6