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To Gain Perspective
You will have a chance to discover how to let go of the past by learning from it and charting a
new and healthy course into your future together. You will learn how to put failure and
disappointment in perspective, and how important forgiveness and grace is for your better days
ahead. When a spouse takes a position protecting and defending his/her actions, words, or point
of view, and the partner is holding the opposite position just as stubbornly, you need the help of
an interested but objective guide, counselor, and coach to help you. The goal is perspective; the
path of progress will offer opportunities for you both to gain understanding, give grace, practice
forgiveness, and embrace the hope and reality of a much better marriage and a brighter future
together.
To Gain Clarity
When couples are in crisis through hurts, confusion, and doubt, the fog and emotional gumbo
that results makes it hard to have clarity. Together we will sort out the details of the presenting
problem that brings you to the appointment. Both you and your spouse will be heard as we press
toward the underlying cause of your distress. As we process the expectations and
disappointments on both sides, we will be able to expose the values and thinking that lie at the
root of your difficulties. This is a critical part of the process. Are the values you embraced when
you became a couple the same ones you live by today? Or have they changed? If they have
changed, are they still grounded in truth? What is your basis for truth? Is it timeless or does it
fluctuate based on your emotions? If your values, your truth/belief system is intact, but the
circumstances and experiences of your lives together have resulted in patterns of behavior that
have become the norm, yet don’t support your values, then, clarifying this will be extremely
valuable. The learnings from our work toward clarity will form the basis for the improvement you
dare to hope is possible, and that you are now willing to work toward.
OPEN: I will make myself vulnerable to you, expressing my fears and desires, my questions
and longings.
HONEST: I will say what I need to without confusing you with mixed messages. I will own
my feelings and make them clear.
DIRECT: I will not make you read my mind or wonder what I mean by my words. I will get to
the heart of the matter.
APPROPRIATE: I will always keep in mind the “us” of our relationship. I will not attack you,
nor try to discount or diminish you.
HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT. Using the skills you are gaining in our focus on
communication will help you and your spouse navigate the inevitable times of conflict. In
fact, it may be a serious unresolved conflict that brings you in. We will face the issue,
dissect it, take whatever actions are necessary to resolve it, create whatever boundaries are
necessary not to repeat it, embrace whatever remedies are required to repair it, and move
forward with the resolve not to have to repeat that particular fight any time soon, or ever
again.
Or, your issue may be sex, or intimacy, or parenting, or in-laws, or hobbies, etc. The process will
be similar, and the outcome will be positive, based on your mutual commitment to the work
required. You really can get better. You know you want to. I can help you get there.
I’d like to meet you and hear about your marriage, because I love helping couples and marriages
get better! Call me or email me for an appointment.
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CONTACT US
Email
bob@think2bwell.com
Phone
850.972-8184
Address
813 Copper Ridge Drive, Cantonment, FL 32533
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